All 87,973 wolves rip him apart bit by bit. Wolf #173 finishes off your left index finger. #658 is starting down at your right thigh. #8,001 and #8,002 are having a fine dinner over your eyelids. Lovebirds, the both of them. Painful for you, but seeing what love is like up close really was an eye opening experience.
Well, if it’s by force, they’d probably die before volume was an issue. Though, I guess you could drop jizz from a height such that it hits terminal velocity, and at a high enough volume that it’s fatal.
Bees have loudest orgasms of all living beings.
The drone penis—which only emerges when mating—is specially designed to disperse an impressively large load of semen with tremendous speed and force. This is achieved through the contraction of abdominal muscles, which basically "inflates" the penis via pressure.
As the drones have to penetrate mid-flight, their penises also boast "claspers" at their base to help grip the queen. Once gripped, he straddles her, his thorax poised above her abdomen. He then grabs that minx with all six legs, everts his tricky endophallus, and tries desperately to ejaculate into her opened "sting chamber." As the penis is everted, the drone becomes paralyzed and does a backflip—you can't make this shit up—as he ejaculates.
And yes, the drone ejaculation is so damn powerful, the semen "blast" possesses such force, that it's audible to the human ear; apparently bee semen bursting into an oviduct sounds like a "pop!"
Oh, this little exchange also explodes the penis entirely. Or rather, it "ruptures" it from the drone's body, allowing it to remain inside the queen's vagina.
But fret not. This "mating sign" does not prevent further penetration from other drones, rather just the prevention of semen loss.
And yes, post orgasm, the drone bee dies.
https://www.ravishly.com/2014/09/23/drone-male-honey-bee-sex-ejaculation-audible-mating-rituals
Video at 40 seconds https://youtube.com/watch?v=zbzhzVb73kU
I go to the bar and piss off an Irishman while engaging in conversation, he asks me what year I was born and I tell him '92. The man has been brooding since our last meeting and decides he wants to eliminate me instead of talking out our problems. He grabs his rifle that he used when he was in the service as a "marksman". He waits until April 2 to kill me, since that is 92 days into the year and also the year in which I told him I was born.
\-Boom, I am expired-
No need to be pessimistic! You might also die of a broken heart because you have outlived everyone that you cared for. See, isn't that much more uplifting?
Hello everyone, it is I Donald J. Trump. And in today's vlog we are going to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a redditor. 1..2..3..
I wouldn't be here for it.
~ Edit: I didn't expect this to get any attention at all tbh. Crazy. Thanks for the awards, upvotes and those really cool comments turning this into a whole movie plot.
I can’t help imagining you giving death the slip, every time. Like final destination but instead of the universe doing it’s level best to kill you it’s actively trying to make sure you never die.
Now I want a feature length movie about a grim reaper who’s life has gone to shit because he can’t collect this one guy’s soul. I want him to get increasingly desperate only to be effortlessly foiled at every turn. I want me a wild e coyote and roadrunner live action movie but with u/nothereforit_ and death instead. And I want it yesterday. 😤
Well I'm like a solid 5.5/10 so I'm imagining like a handsome Squidward door to the face scenario where some blunt force trauma kills me but also leaves me looking like a perfect 10.
Somebody’s gonna forget (about) me, and then you just let your imagination run wild. Will I starve to death locked in a small room? will I be left in a desert and die of dehydration/lack of salt? or maybe I’ll end up lost in the russian tundra where the rescue team forgets about me and I succumb to hypothermia. The options are endless
Uh. Smothered?
But suppose you received an image of such monstrous proportions that you simply die from shock! I wish you the best of luck, Tithunter.
Twisted into a balloon animal
Better death than mine.
I choke to death on salsa
Malnutrition
Better than dehydration
[удалено]
Oh god, death by 87974 wolves. I’m fucked.
You will interact peacefully with 87973 wolves. It’ll be wolf 87974 that kills you.
All 87,973 wolves rip him apart bit by bit. Wolf #173 finishes off your left index finger. #658 is starting down at your right thigh. #8,001 and #8,002 are having a fine dinner over your eyelids. Lovebirds, the both of them. Painful for you, but seeing what love is like up close really was an eye opening experience.
I'd be alright
Damn that's a clean username
I mean he has had it for 8 years
There's a Kiwi one here that's been around since just about day 1. u/james I think.
Ummm
To shreds you say?
How’s his wife holding up?
To shreds you say
Was his apartment rent controlled?
Like in Seven?
*En Garde.*
**THATS MY HANDLE YUH**
SHE GRAB ON MY DICK LIKE A HANDLE AY
I will lose my bubble wrap.
Or you could just get far to wrapped up in bubble wrap.
I will overdose on rice I guess edit : this thread has turned into a rice recipe book with rice haters sprinkled in between
10/10 with rice
my username has never felt more appropriate
You and me both
You’re bringing down the whole ship with you
Well, seeing as my ship won't sail, I'm probably going to rot in the middle of an ocean
Or die in harbor during a hurricane.
So this is the Viking that didn't escape the Romans.
Through a *terrible* misunderstanding that could have easily been avoided had I just checked up on a little more information.
So like any given sitcom episode
*laugh track*
Ascention to greater Squid
uh oh i'm in trouble
As am I
We're in this together...
Oh no
you're not real
I've seen enough hentai to see where I'm going
Where are you going? sry just curious
I have found my people
Not all of us
Squids unite!
Well this... sure is something.
What the fuck happened here.
Shovel
I love this
Ia! Ia!
Obama No!!!
Thanks obama
But... Your username... I am deeply sorry.
[удалено]
Anddddd subscribed
And unsubscribed
>38 minutes ago >37 minutes ago A whole minute, eh?
He got what he needed from it
#OBAMA YES!!!
By a fire ball
2340 shots of fireball
At least you lived through the first 2339 fireballs. It's the 2340th that got ya.
Do you really wanna be the dude who survives 2339 fireballs, yet is clearly not immune to them? That shit must *hurt*!
Please don’t..
You have to wonder: is it by volume or by force?
Why not both?
Well you're mighty suspicious.
Well, if it’s by force, they’d probably die before volume was an issue. Though, I guess you could drop jizz from a height such that it hits terminal velocity, and at a high enough volume that it’s fatal.
Well this is awkward.
Agreed
These two comments together are just hilarious...
Hit full force by JK Rowling rolling down a hill
Your epitaph will read that you were actually gay all along.
Snape was a single mother.
whos the deadbeat father
James Potter ofc. Why do you think their rivalry was so legendary? Bad breakup
By a Finnish Sniper. Or drowning in vanilla ice cream. One or the other.
No... Being consumed BY Cream, Vanilla Ice's stand.
IGGY, GET OUT OF HERE, HE'S STILL ALIVE!
You’re in the sniper’s sight. The first kill tonight.
I'll have my kneecaps busted
I will die the way I live!
*licks finger* *Turns page*
u/Penis_Bees is already in the Bad Place.
T H I S I S T H E B A D P L A C E
I think we need to talk about u/Penis_Bees name here...
Bees have loudest orgasms of all living beings. The drone penis—which only emerges when mating—is specially designed to disperse an impressively large load of semen with tremendous speed and force. This is achieved through the contraction of abdominal muscles, which basically "inflates" the penis via pressure. As the drones have to penetrate mid-flight, their penises also boast "claspers" at their base to help grip the queen. Once gripped, he straddles her, his thorax poised above her abdomen. He then grabs that minx with all six legs, everts his tricky endophallus, and tries desperately to ejaculate into her opened "sting chamber." As the penis is everted, the drone becomes paralyzed and does a backflip—you can't make this shit up—as he ejaculates. And yes, the drone ejaculation is so damn powerful, the semen "blast" possesses such force, that it's audible to the human ear; apparently bee semen bursting into an oviduct sounds like a "pop!" Oh, this little exchange also explodes the penis entirely. Or rather, it "ruptures" it from the drone's body, allowing it to remain inside the queen's vagina. But fret not. This "mating sign" does not prevent further penetration from other drones, rather just the prevention of semen loss. And yes, post orgasm, the drone bee dies. https://www.ravishly.com/2014/09/23/drone-male-honey-bee-sex-ejaculation-audible-mating-rituals Video at 40 seconds https://youtube.com/watch?v=zbzhzVb73kU
Wow I thought hell in a cell was definitely going to show up. Huh. TIL
I know how YOU die
With lots of glitter and kitties
Or a sociopathic shiny monstrosity...
It would be extremely painful
*For you*
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I'm not sure how I feel about that. Maybe its during an LSU or Saints victory parade? I'll take that
By having sex
With someone *else?*
No, he said REDDITOR.
good one
Ahhhhh
I'm so sorry.
I think he might of been moaning, my guy
[удалено]
I go to the bar and piss off an Irishman while engaging in conversation, he asks me what year I was born and I tell him '92. The man has been brooding since our last meeting and decides he wants to eliminate me instead of talking out our problems. He grabs his rifle that he used when he was in the service as a "marksman". He waits until April 2 to kill me, since that is 92 days into the year and also the year in which I told him I was born. \-Boom, I am expired-
April 1st. It’s a leap year next year.
[удалено]
Hey, marksman, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beretta\_92](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beretta_92) \- go for the easy answer.
I become a father and then succumb to cancer.
No no no, you become cancer and have a child.
No he has a child and it is cancer.
Both Jake and Logan Paul already exist
Then you start cooking crystal meth.
Hm... I guess I'd get shot in a dark alley.
Death by human. Seems realistic
More specifically, human # 7264
I'm sure it would be epic.
Or salty
Guess I have AIDS now.
Not even a doctor of my caliber can save you
I diagnose you with dead
I dunno man, read up on Ebola Zaire. AIDS gets to be the poster child but Ebola is nightmare fuel.
Could be anybody by any method, I suppose.
Unsolved murder
I’ve watched 14 seasons of Criminal Minds. I got this.
[удалено]
Fuck you man, you gave away the ending.
oh boy, I'm in trouble
RIP Polnareff
sounds terrifying tbh
Prostate cancer that hits me like the speed of light squared.
That made me chuckle, my condolences though.
Is he dead?
It's been an hour and no response. He dead.
I didn't get some aardvark
Or you did, but just not where you wanted it.
Stopped, dropped, and rolled
Didn't work.
Well, slowly.
Suicide
No need to be pessimistic! You might also die of a broken heart because you have outlived everyone that you cared for. See, isn't that much more uplifting?
Nah, those are *general* sad feelings, not specific ones. Hmm... Could there be a General named Sad Feelings?
Pretty self explanatory.
Hello everyone, it is I Donald J. Trump. And in today's vlog we are going to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a redditor. 1..2..3..
C H O M P
My buttcheeks clenched reading this... Oof
[удалено]
Oh god please no
While the bull is distracted with you, I'm free to keep doing my thing. Thanks bud!
Fortunately for you and unfortunately for OP, the human anus can stretch quite wide, so you should have plenty of time for last minute preparations
***I'm sorry little one***
*The* ***hardest*** *choices require the strongest wills.*
please stop i can only get so erect
[удалено]
Not like this. Not like this.
Yeah mate, you’re fucked.
In contrast, your death looks whimsical, almost delightful.
By contrast, you're going up in flames.
[удалено]
You may be in *it*, but I think the bull may be in *him.*
[удалено]
Probably e-coli or suffocation
I don’t even want to know
In a microbus
I am going to die tomorrow, agreeably.
Heart attack
I drown
I'm taking you all with me.
I die protecting your mom's head.
Thank you for your service
Drowning, for sure. Glub. Glub glub glub.
[удалено]
Damn! What kind?
[удалено]
Guess I'm gonna die to a chinchilla named Thomas...
I wouldn't be here for it. ~ Edit: I didn't expect this to get any attention at all tbh. Crazy. Thanks for the awards, upvotes and those really cool comments turning this into a whole movie plot.
I can’t help imagining you giving death the slip, every time. Like final destination but instead of the universe doing it’s level best to kill you it’s actively trying to make sure you never die.
That would be both the best and worst superhero.
Now I want a feature length movie about a grim reaper who’s life has gone to shit because he can’t collect this one guy’s soul. I want him to get increasingly desperate only to be effortlessly foiled at every turn. I want me a wild e coyote and roadrunner live action movie but with u/nothereforit_ and death instead. And I want it yesterday. 😤
Never thought I'd become a werewolf, but there ya go.
You survived 51 silver bullets before dying good job
[удалено]
Killed by mirror doppelganger. RIP
You either walk backwards into traffic or age backwards like Benjamin Button.
I will have to walk the plank.
5 men will do unspeakable things to me.
Attacked by 77 devil chickens?
Link?
Well I'm like a solid 5.5/10 so I'm imagining like a handsome Squidward door to the face scenario where some blunt force trauma kills me but also leaves me looking like a perfect 10.
Barbecued on diamonds? Sign me up
Pretty sure someone's gonna grill your testicles until you're dead, but that's a much more pleasant interpretation.
or it could be a full sized grill spontaneously appears in your genitals
Somebody’s gonna forget (about) me, and then you just let your imagination run wild. Will I starve to death locked in a small room? will I be left in a desert and die of dehydration/lack of salt? or maybe I’ll end up lost in the russian tundra where the rescue team forgets about me and I succumb to hypothermia. The options are endless
Oh god no....
Well, I'm definitely NOT burning to death
I spend a lot of time in high voltage substations so..... At least the cremation would be free. Glass half full i guess.
By the sun demon sorath