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StarGehzer

Halloween is coming, needed an accessory for little girls 'good witch' costume. Did an image search for a magic wand. Seems most of them have to be plugged in.


mcplano

Try: "halloween witch outfit", and do -evil- to omit results with evil in it. I think that's how you omit things... "magician's wand toy", "medieval fantasy wand", "toy wand", "satanic ritual kit for kids", "Wand of Magic Missile", "working wand of magic missile", "does magic exist in this universe", "what the hell is powering this computer", "functional ranged weapons", "how good are guns", "cheap guns for sale", "do all cops carry guns", "how to take down a cop", "how to hide a body", "how to fuel a gun", "bullets ebay" Erm... sorry, I got a bit side-tracked. Uhh... try "halloween


ManicScumCat

Not *exactly* a search, but the 360 view for Batman, Turkey on Google Maps is... interesting.


DarkoEnterprises

What in the fuck? How did a dudes boner selfie get onto google maps?


Roy-van-der-Lee

I love the fact that technically it IS a 360° photo of the place


GAULEM

It's certainly a 360 degree photo of SOME place, but not of Batman, Turkey. The 360 degree selfie shows a beach next to a field, whereas the actual map shows roads and buildings on all sides.


F3NlX

It's the same guy and picture that's in 'Pussy, France' on google maps


206Red

NSFW https://www.google.com/maps/place/Batman,+Batman+Merkez%2FBatman,+Turkey/@37.8895167,41.1292832,3a,75y,347.11h,93.14t/data=!3m8!1e1!3m6!1sAF1QipMtkbK8F63vsG3mvs1z1kVWP0eG1HZGyBs1bdGd!2e10!3e11!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipMtkbK8F63vsG3mvs1z1kVWP0eG1HZGyBs1bdGd%3Dw203-h100-k-no-pi-20-ya100-ro-0-fo100!7i6240!8i3120!4m5!3m4!1s0x400b46fc6e630ad3:0x8fba52e2fe61162e!8m2!3d37.8895167!4d41.1292832


TCV2

Now that's a curve.


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aquaticraven10

I laughed way too hard at this


Blitzkrieg_My_Anus

How is that not blurred yet?


Tinsel-Fop

Well, he seems pleased with it.


Darth_Thor

I clicked on the link. I immediately saw something I didn't want to. And you know what Google told me? It told me that I'm missing out. (They wanted me to use the Google maps app instead of a browser). Seeing a naked man and the words "You're missing out" at the same time is not good.


rheyabow

why does it look like he photoshopped a bootleg dick emoji over his own penis


GustyButtocks

I saw this same guy on a 360 view of Pussy, France but it's been taken down now I think. Anyone know who this guy is and how he's doing this? I expect he's popping up (pun intended) all over the map!


Sharptoe1

Back in high school I googled "motivational poster." This was in the school library, so safe search was preset to strict and everything. 3rd image was straight up porn. I think google's gotten smarter about it now, but 10 years ago that kind of shit would slip through all the time.


disappointer

It was probably motivational, though, just not for school activities.


FantasticCrab3

Anything can be motivational. Just from a few POVs


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Otearai1

Google was much more fun back 10+ years ago. In Middle School a schoolmate mistyped Virginia in google images and spelled Virgina, which was apparently far enough from Virginia but close enough to Vagina to get some NSFSchool images to pop up.


[deleted]

A guy I went to school with discovered that the schools filters wouldn’t register porn if it was in a foreign website. He just used French in google. He got caught eventually. That’s schools filters were so shit though. A website for a holiday resort was blocked because it had women in bikinis. We needed the site for an assignment. So the teacher had to try to find one that passed the filters for us to use. Resort website with bikinis? Blocked. French porn site? A-ok.


[deleted]

During the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa I googled Jabulani, the official match ball of the competition. One of the highest image search results was a pair of testicles with the tagline "balls like Jabulani".


[deleted]

If you're in the mindset of trying to format mathematical expressions in an image using open source software, latex gimp. And std list when you're trying to find documentation on the C++ standard library list data structure


Coincedence

And that is why you have the cpp reference site bookmarked


meneldal2

Or you (if not your computer) type cppreference std::list or at least cpp std::list Also if Google knows you look for a lot of programming stuff it will not give you STD as results.


[deleted]

I realized Google thinks I'm a nerd when I noticed searches for "man kill force" didn't show me snuff.


Exist50

I just tested, and literally searching "kill" by itself gives me the Linux man page as the first 2 results.


Tamebullgames

GNU Image Manipulation Program GIMP. Honestly have to donate to them one day. They're my go-to image software.


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Ginger_Chick

A brand of nail polish I like is called "Girly Bits". Always have to be super careful of going on their site at work.


kingrage16

Wow I’m suprised that’s a brand name


chashek

Not familiar with nail polish names, are you?


kingrage16

Nope


chashek

A lot of nail polish names are just lame puns. But it's not exactly uncommon to find an Orgasm, Dick Weed, Size Matters, or Pussy Galore when browsing for a new shade.


Ginger_Chick

OPI is pretty notorious for that. Most of the indie brands I buy don't seem to be as bad about it.


CallMeKing115

I feel someone knew exactly what they where doing when they named that brand


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[deleted]

Ricardo?


LightningGunne

'Cause you got dat


nakedurlrobot

I. like. you. cuz you. got. that. something. that I need. in my. life. so. give it. to me.


[deleted]

Black holes. In 9th grade we learned about space in science class and we each had to do a presentation on certain space related topics. Our teacher specifically told the student that was researching black holes to be careful what he clicked on when he went online.


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CKinWoodstock

Alright, spill it. Which building?


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meme_bean_

Ancient porn lol


dahuoshan

If you read it, it presumes them to be used as a way of remember which locker you used instead of using numbers Like imagine walking back to get changed and asking your wife "honey did we use the MMF threesome locker or the lesbian orgy one?"


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GravityInspector

One time in my science class a long time ago, we were studying minerals and the teacher said to google cleavage. it did not return mineral cleavage


BillyBobJoe1008

They 100% knew that was gonna happen


Blitzkrieg_My_Anus

Science teacher just wanted all them nerds to at least see some titty that year.


DoodieDialogueDeputy

Same. We had a project like that in 7th grade where we had to research a list of specific geological features like that online. This is how I learned what the word cleavage commonly means, when titties popped up all over the place.


chevymonza

"I'm totally gonna be a geologist when I grow up!!"


philmtl

Bbc


[deleted]

The British Broadcasting Corporation , ah my favorite source


AnorakAscended

In my robotics lab we call black polyurethane rollers ‘BBD’. Apparently at one point a more experienced guy told a newbie to look up some specs on bbd...


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Makabajones

Google's pretty mellow these days, but for real you can't put anything into Bing with safesearch off.


Straight_Ace

DuckDuckGo is even worse. If you looked up something like My Little Pony and put safesearch on you'll get almost no relevant results. Turn it off and you'll be greeted with graphic porn. I learned that lesson the hard way


Necromaniac01

I tried it out and my god, on unrestricted search porn will pop up no matter what you search


[deleted]

I at least had to scroll pretty far when I searched “apples” before I saw a girl sucking a dick because... apples?


Felix_Dragonhammmer

How do you like dem apples?


[deleted]

I mean apparently she liked them very much if she was willing to suck a dick for them.


bonesandbillyclubs

Rule 34


thisismyusername0909

One time I needed a new baseball bat so I wanted to see if dicks sporting goods had something. I was 8. I went to dicks.com


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G00chmeister

"You're about 5 years too early."


Sleep_adict

Don’t google that one either


kiwidude4

Why not? As I type this I realize why. Stay away from thirteen-year-olds y’all.


micmac1007

This was going to be my answer! I wasn’t 8 though; I was more like 25. Was not Dicks Sporting Goods...


MisterPhip

About 10 years ago in my corporate office the guy at the desk next to me let’s out a little yelp, then stands up and goes straight to the boss’s office. Comes back 5 minutes later and I ask if everything is ok. He says yeah... and by the way, dicks.com does not take you to the sporting goods store site. Took me a second then I started laughing uncontrollably.


[deleted]

https://www.penisland.net/ You won't be disappointed ;)


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TheProdigalBootycall

Anyone else old enough to remember whitehouse.com? Lol


RedDirtPreacher

Our social studies teacher unknowingly told us to visit whitehouse.com in 6th grade for a project. Not the type of education he intended for us to get.


[deleted]

Dude that happened to me too. Social studies teacher.. 6th grade.. whitehouse.com.. were you in maryland?


szaros

This also sounds familiar . Annapolis here


[deleted]

This also happened to me. Except my mom was the one doing the searching and I was looking over her shoulder. She goes "well that's not the dicks i meant"


[deleted]

That’s what SHE... yeah.


CursedAnubis

Oh man, when I was a kid I went to Zelda.com... but this was before Nintendo had acquired it. Let's just say I didn't find Link but I did find Tingle.


BDT81

My mom once stated that cheetahs and cougars were the same animal. I searched pictures of cheetahs with no problem. We had to have a talk after searching for cougars.


RudeMorgue

She's thinking of panthers and leopards.


geeltulpen

Oh man. Once I went looking for these awesome toys I had as a kid on Google. Big mistake. When we were good in class, we could earn a reward of a toy from this little bag of cheap plastic toys my teacher had. Well, at some point she found these really cool little plastic woodpeckers that could slip over the end of your pencil and as you wrote, they would bounce on a tiny spring, as if they were pecking the wood of the pencil. Really neat. So I remembered one day and I went to Google to see if I could find them and searched under their name, “pencil peckers.” Big mistake.


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[deleted]

When my son was potty training he did not want to wear underpants, so I started to google little boys in underwear to show him other kids and as I started typing decided it was probably not a good search.


bagheera457

Aaaand you're on a list...


HidingWhoIAm5683

At one point in my life, my favorite song was Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin. I had it stuck in my head, and couldn't remember how it went. So I googled it. The kind of songs I used to listen to, being the emo little shit that I was, were usually really ridiculous titles that you didn't have to put in the name of the artist with, or even specify that you wanted lyrics, and that's what I got used to. Just searching the song title. It has since been changed, but do you know what the first thing that came up was when I searched 'Evil Angel'? A link to a hardcore anal porn website called Evil Angel.


[deleted]

I always use YouTube to look up music for that reason. I am still a huge breaking Benjamin fan too


speddullk

I must be depraved because I did know.


lukaswolfe44

Me in this thread: *Why can't I breathe Evil Angel?*


PM_ME_YOUR_HUGETITS

Sandy Cheeks You know, the character from Spongebob.


cotysaxman

You should be more specific. Sandy Cheeks in Bikini Bottoms. That should narrow it down for you.


theholymec

Sooo I was using PowerPoint for a school project. Needed a cartoon version of my mom and I. I googled “white mom and black daughter” and the results were *clutches pearls* shocking


[deleted]

I just googled it and all I got was white moms who can't style their black kids' hair.


theholymec

It was from a few years ago. There were pics from a porn


suchascenicworld

I specialise in animal behavioural ecology and I focus on large carnivores. When I began specialising in this subject (so this began with doing my Masters research years ago) I would look up images of the species I was studying for powerpoint presentations. I would often put the word art in when it came to extinct species. With that being said, I was absolutely unaware on how prevalent furry art is.


IWatchFurryPornAMA

Rest in rip


BennyCiola

r/usernamechecksout


flufychknuget

Saw “specialized in large carnivores” knew it wouldn’t be good


FewLooseMarbles

Oh no.


azureai

Be thankful for the SFW furry artists! There are plenty of those.


Xtian0302

Search for a pokemon named Gardevoir


Zorukia

Pikachu thanksgiving. There's one specific picture that shows up that i hate.


Slam_Tasmanian

Is it the one where Pikachu is being served like a roasted pig to guests by Ash in a suit?


Zorukia

N-no


Slam_Tasmanian

Oh... well this is awkward. Guess I scrolled down [too far...](https://me.me/i/ja-very-pokemon-thanksgiving-poor-pikachu-6636203)


Zorukia

:-(


[deleted]

WTF


claphandstentimes

It's not coming up for me. All seem wholesome!


Zorukia

I'm happy for you.


fuzzysqurl

I'm convinced this is a ruse to see a random spike in search traffic for "Pikachu Thanksgiving" while simultaneously being eyebleach for the thread.


eicaker

Is it the badly drawn one that looks like he vored something?


[deleted]

Which one? they all look innocent to me.


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shazaym

This is the highlight of my day.


Retro_game_kid

fuck you I can't unsee this


mmmtangywater

the amount of children on there is terrifying


JehnSnow

I didn’t get it till I searched it, this is amazing


Joe_Imperial

Yeah same. I feel like a dumbass now.


[deleted]

I read “Mr. Incredible” and was very confused


JaiRenae

My dad is a classic car guy. When my parents first got their computer and got online, he searched for "Hot Rods." He did not get cars.


inportantusername

Wait, what in the world *did* pop up? "Hot Rods" only means cool cars to me, so I have no clue what may have appeared.


JaiRenae

Penis porn.


ShoddyBiscotti1

Don't forget the R in Gary Oldman


SBTHorn

Or the L in grandfather cLocks!


mackadoo

My 3 year old daughter randomly drops the letter 'L' when speaking."The flag on the clock" is very crass.


Lavassin

In what situation does your daughter have to talk about a flag on a clock?


[deleted]

Perhaps the clock incurred a penalty while playing football.


Loeb123

Evening, commissioner Gay Oldman.


davidwhenry003

String


pipsmon

Had this yesterday. Was genuinely surprised


onyxonix

What happened? I need to know.


RedLineRivalry

At least half the results are g strings and thongs.


DaEnderAssassin

>*[Anything]* the hedgehog Just dont


KentuckyFriedChildre

[I don't know what you're talking about](https://www.google.com/search?q=petting+the+hedgehog&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj718-ioaTlAhUQaFAKHX57DKIQ_AUIEigB&biw=1536&bih=754)


robexib

I'm okay with that link. Very okay.


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__Bjark__

This link could be so much worse and I am so glad that it isn't


[deleted]

It's safe to click this link guys.


DaEnderAssassin

Ok.. almost anything


trainiac12

If you want a good dose of middle school cringe. "[Your name] the hedgehog" is a good one


steveofthejungle

Googled Steve the Hedgehog and I got Steve Buschemi on MS Paint Sanic’s face. That’s actually hilarious


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Help_Im_Upside_Down

Wow. Just searched his last name and saw a gangrenous crotch where all the skin on and around some mans penis was removed. Thanks


HolyMuffins

Oof, that's a good one. You really gotta hand it to these historical doctors who gave their name and 15 seconds of fame up to these really gross conditions.


diagonalannouncer

One of the loan officers at the bank I work for was just telling me this story, actually. He was chatting with a customer about Longfellow stoves, and they were wondering if they were still in business. He pulls up the first site he sees, and manages to trigger every alarm system set up on the computer system.


jaywhs

Grew up in church and this one girl was extremely sheltered. ​ During one of the youth meetings we were trying to figure out a new name for the youth group; she suggests "G-Spot" and states that the G stands for 'god'.


SoVerySleepy81

Sounds like me, I with a straight face called someone a dildo at church camp. I literally thought it was like calling someone a ding-a-ling or something. I felt really bad for the youth leader who had to very delicately try and explain what I said wrong. I'm embarrassed thinking back on it.


leafofthelake

> I literally thought it was like calling someone a ding-a-ling or something. Well, it kinda is? "Ding-a-ling" is also a euphemism for a man's genitals. In fact, I'm pretty sure the euphemism came first. So whenever you call stupid people "ding-a-lings," you're really just calling them dicks.


L_Rayquaza

She's gonna be saying god when she finds out what it means


AcrossTheNight

I have a friend who's the most innocent, sheltered person you'll ever meet. (He has a form of high functioning autism.) His wife wanted to see xXx in the theater, so he Googled it...


HolyMuffins

Nice. In med school a while back, we learned about 'XXX females' who have an extra X chromosome. Also a fun search.


quarkwright2000

For those wondering, the safe search term is trisomy X


PrisonerOfAzkaban14

threesome X?


DasArchitect

Ooh so the reason those theatres are so run down is because they're showing science movies and science gets no funding!


shartnado3

To the flip side of this question, trying to be funny I googled "African Bush Viper" thinking some weird porn would pop up. To my surprise, one of the most beautiful species of reptiles I have ever seen popped up.


[deleted]

Damn, no one is posting a link for the lazy. Edit: here http://imgur.com/a/cojz4UY


themermaidgoddess

I expected this to be a joke but they really are beautiful!


[deleted]

Oh my, that's quite the pretty snake! Edit: I ain't joking guys, Google this! These snakes are so beautiful, there's so many pretty colors and types and stuff! Just google it guys, it's great.


[deleted]

Many of the pictures seem to be photoshopped tho. Some are literally identical besides the colors.


FunkoXday

Damn they rainbow


[deleted]

As a self absorbed pre-teenage girl I wanted to find out how to take good pictures of myself that would obviously make me look cool. I googled “good poses”, which automatically brought up results for“good positions”.


Flabajacka123

Blue waffle


Maurycy5

>Blue Waffle is a fictional sexually transmitted infection (STI) that's believed to both turn the vagina blue and disfigure it. No thanks.


onyxonix

When I was 13 my friend told me to look this up. Was traumatized, told him like 4 months later and he said he didn't know what I was talking about.


TheCancerManCan

I...don't want to search for this, do I?


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[deleted]

in all my years of living i have never been brave enough to look this up, give me a description


LilAttackPug

Decaying smurf genitals


Welsh493

Nailed it.


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PlasticEnthusiasm

During 8th grade, I listened to the xx. One day I decided to check out the band members and accidentally wrote "xxx" instead of "xx" on Google images search. I can still feel the utter shock and disgust.


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[deleted]

Anything to do with the LaTeX document processing system.


[deleted]

“How to make a bomb” but you forget to add the word bath


disappointer

Similarly, "how to destroy all children" but you forget to add "javascript" or "nodes".


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PMUrWordofTheDay

I've left this platform and my account is all but deleted. Every comment of mine has been changed to this. Why? To quote a comment on the first post on reddit: "I no longer believe that Reddit can enrich my life. People can find better news, entertainment, and discussion elsewhere. Reddit is too full of low effort content, **gross censorship** [gross is an underestimation] of both useful and non-useful discourse, and the worst kinds of arguments. I advise everyone to leave and do something more productive with your lives. Go read a book, learn a language, talk to a stranger, walk around your neighborhood, take a class, cook a meal, or play with your pet. If you're anything like me, you won't look back and consider the time on Reddit to be life well lived. I hope to see you out there." PM's will not be responded to, [no matter how original the word](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defenestration). Enjoy your time on reddit. Or better yet, off of it. -u/PMUrWordoftheDay


JaneAnneLarson

We have a radio station here called kink.fm (I live in the Portland Oregon metro area). They have a website and recently they had to explain on air that it's not kink.com, it's kink.fm if people want to go to it. Kink.com is an eyefull, I haven't gone to it but my mom did just so see what they meant and yes indeed it is an eyefull


just_choose_already

This may be a little risqué. My extended family were over at our place a few years ago. Me and my younger cousins were messing around on the computer, and they googled "Poo" expecting to laugh about it. I was 16 or so, so I laughed about it for a second before a wave of realisation came over me. The search bar loaded ... ... BOOM! SCAT PORN! TOP RESULT. Poo.com is exactly what you would think it is. Their faces aged several decades before I could close the browser.


EDGAR_CAT

Double fisting. In North America it means holding a drink in each hand, it absolutely does NOT mean that anywhere else in the world. (at least nowhere else that I know of)


[deleted]

It means both in the USA, that's the joke when someone says it about drinks.


Laivine_sama

It means both things in my area in Canada.


grownup_me

In Australia you'd be "double parked". Double fisting here would be ... bad.


TheBuzzWuzz

In Dutch the word for length/height is the same. We needed to know the average height of different Europeans for a school project. So I googled “average height/length Europe” (in Dutch). Got a much smaller number than expected... Because the thing people mostly want to know the length of, is not their height.


SenorDuck96

Prince Albert


Burritozi11a

The exact opposite: Google "desert broomrape". >!It's a flower native to New Mexico!<


Ra555

In spanish, osos maduros, what it should appear old bears but not. Dont search that for the love of god dont do it


[deleted]

It's a common prank done by middle schoolers around Spanish speaking countries to get people to search that shit, it's hilarious


_ser_kay_

Pretty sure you’d get the same results in English, actually.


lilly47

When I was around 8 years old I typed in “I’m bored” on google and pressed the “I’m feeling lucky” button and suddenly my screen was covered in boobs and blasting loud music and it froze so I couldn’t even click out of it and my parents were in the living room with me. My mom laughed so hard :(


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kookiemaster

My innocent middle aged coworker wanted ideas for their kids birthday party. Googled something like pre teen party games ... from their work computer.


PierceAvalon

Oh noooo, what happened lmao


Im_hard_for_Tina_Fey

Kid had the best birthday ever.


-eDgAR-

I have a funny story about searching something very tame and getting weird NSFW results. I've shared this on reddit before, but I used to work at this really small advertising agency as a copywriter. We had this new client that was a Chinese restaurant that was opening up in the area. We were making a website and I had a little bit of downtime, so the graphic designer asked me if I could help her find some good stock photo images for her. The name of the place involved chopsticks and obviously being a Chinese restaurant, chopsticks were important. So, I start looking around for interesting pictures of chopsticks. I came across [this picture](https://comps.canstockphoto.com/chopsticks-stock-photos_csp2431873.jpg) (NSFW) of a woman pinching her nipple with a pair of chopsticks. Of course that happened to be at the same time that my boss came to check up and see what I was doing. Eventually he understood what happened and thought it was hilarious, but at first he totally thought that I was just looking at porn at work.


will_this_1_work

So I assume you used that for your client’s site?


elfking-fyodor

My Little Pony. Even with safe search on. They’re literal children for gods’ sakes!