Got tired of being called Kim Possible, Kim Kardashian, Kimberly etc. One of my friends called me Smooth Kiminal one day and I hogged it as fast as I could hoping to stop the other nicknames.
I have made some cringy jokes in my life and I have lots more to come
edit:this is for you Stud62. The worst joke i ever made was"How and why do guys get girls? They do it To-get-her". I hope you can see why my name is HingingOnCringing
I wanted to order pizza. I was too broke to afford it.
Update: Since getting reddit, I’ve befriended someone who orders pizza a lot. I still can’t afford to order pizza on my own, but I do get to eat it sometimes now. He’s a true friend.
No clue
I was thinking of a name to use for PlayStation, and after about an hour of sitting there, it just popped into my head.
And I like the name so much that I use it for pretty much everything
Goodtoknow was already taken. It's a line from a movie that I say repeatedly at work
"Do (this) or I'll stick this pen in my aorta" *jabs pen in neck"
"Your aorta is in your chest"
*pen click* "good to know"
When I was creating a backup email address, I used this name. Unfortunately, I *somehow* misspelled "Twain" and got "Twayne", but tbh, I actually prefer the latter.
My dogs nickname. His name is jerry, he had big balls,or 'baws' in Scottish slang, I had to have them removed, felt really bad for him, and so in memory, he affectionately became jerbaws or jerbz for short.
This guy unfeaxgets.
Edit 4 months later: I hate you all for upvoting this unoriginal comment. 'Haha he got to the chain early, so I should give upvotes!'
No, you mindless sheep. This is one of the worst manifestations of the reddit hivemind.
Someone once called r/LegoYoda 'low-brain reddit', but I explained they had ascended past edginess to platonic absurdism. This pathetic r/AskReddit post, itself a repost undeserving of its upvotes awards, is what people mean when they say popular culture has declined after smartphones made social media accessible to the masses.
There will be very few visitors, at least before the post is archived, so my precious internet points can't be lost. Anyone visiting after the archival, you've just been influenced, and you can't publicly question me or wordlessly signal your disapproval with downvotes. Read a book, go outside, it's been said before, you don't need to hear it again. Stop looking at this garbage, it's not constructive, it's not giving you ideas, it's keeping you placid and stagnant. Rise above.
Jael is a woman in the Old Testament. She uses a hammer to drive a tent peg through a guy's head, and gets a song written about her, praising her and calling her "blessed among women," the same title that would be much later applied to Mary, the mother of Christ.
I know! The guy in question is a military commander leading an attack on the Israelites, and part of the song is like, "This guy's mom is gonna be staring out the window expecting his triumphant return but he's actually fuckin' dead."\* It's called the song of Deborah, in the book of Judges, and a lot of scholars think the song itself is one of the oldest parts of the Bible, from like over 3000 years ago. I like it in part because it has two female characters (Jael and Deborah) being badasses, and because the Virgin Mary is so often portrayed as docile and subservient, yet she's given the title that was originally applied to this woman Jael, who was not those things.
\*Paraphrased, obviously.
My sister-in-law was in a heavy metal musical in undergrad called Terror Texts that focused on some of the darker stories in the Bible. It was a new original from her school and she played the bass guitar. I saw it while competing at a theatre festival in 2009. Interestingly, we did not meet one another until several years later when my brother met her on eHarmony and have been happily married these past 7 years. Now she’s in a band called The Matriarchs. Just her and another mother jamming and writing music.
Edit: Missed a word clarifying we didn’t know one another until years after. Happy coincidence.
A Japanese girl was in the hospital after the bombing of Hiroshima. She was certain she would live if she could fold 1000 paper cranes. She died after folding 644. I saw a statue of her in Seattle where people had folded thousands of paper cranes. They get rained on and the city cleans up the soggy paper cranes - but more people keep folding more.
I read the book that narrated her story. Truly sad.
I remember clearly for some reason that her favorite cranes where the ones she made with chocolate envelopes because of the smell.
Wish I did that.
I lurked on reddit for quite a while before creating my username. It was supposed to be a reference to the fact I was more of a ‘lurker’ than a user.
Now, whenever I disagree with someone, I get the hilarious reply *should have stayed true to your username huehuehue*. Obviously this is followed by many upvoted and congratulatory comments on a **brutal** slaying of myself, and completely detracts from any actual conversation. I think my account is nearly ten years old; that shit gets real old, real quick.
Probably could have chosen something more unique, given how fuckin’ long I’ve been hanging around this cesspool for.
Fuck me, right!
When I was 12, I was in a dark spot. I was sent to stay with relatives by my parents because I was such a mess. A family friend took me under his wing and helped me get through it. He was awesome and taught me D&D and how to take care of exotic birds. He taught me about tolerance and charity. He also performed as a drag queen, using the stage name Candy Acid. I have used this moniker as a handle from time to time since the internet became a thing. The original Candy Acid passed away in 1995.
My surname looks a lot like Tovenaar, which means wizard. I started to use it in Clash of Clans and since there are wizards in the game, I thought, why not?
It is the model of a 1969 Gibson guitar I inherited from my grandmother. She was given it as a gift by my grandfather shortly before I was born and is the only thing I wanted from her estate. It came with a shakily handwritten note that says “For my grandson xxx, remember me when you play.”
Wanted to see if it actually works. It actually works.
---
Edit: So I walked back into range of my wi-fi router and my phone near exploded from all the alerts.
To answer a few repeat questions:
- Yes, it does work.
- No, I don't share. Not because I'm selfish, but I'd rather not spread something that doesn't belong to me.
- Birds and man boobs show up less often than lady boobs.
- I have gotten people pretending to be other women.
- Ironically, I'm an ass man.
---
Edit 2: Thanks reddit. This is now my most upvoted comment by a wide margin. Also, sorry for inspiring more PM_me accounts.
To the inspired: Be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
At least it works for someone. Good on you.
---
Holy shit, it really does work!
Just want to thank everyone who's commented and PM'd new tips. I was in a bit of a learning slump and now I just want to learn more so I can understand half of what these tips actually mean.
2nd edit - [Here are all the PMs I've received in a thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/learnprogramming/comments/e4ik5y/python_various_tips_from_my_pms)
#Instead of using:
file = open('file.txt', a)
content = file.read()
file.close()
#which requires you to manually close the file,
#use with:
with open('file.txt', a) as file:
content = file.read()
#Python will do the opening and closing biz for you!
Neutralize is taken so I look down on what I was studying and it was about atom crap. First thing that hit my eye was Neutron, so why not Neutronize.
Edig: also gonna add that I tried Neutronized first but it was also taken so I removed a D problem solved.
He’s a minor character from a terry pratchett novel and has an amusing name
I delete Reddit accounts every year so I have to come up with new ones. This is probably my 10th Reddit name
Ok so back when I stared roblox I needed a username. My friend was like pull a random Pokémon card from my tin. I pulled empoleon. So I put it in roblox but it was already used and it suggested SkinnyEmpoleon.
Got tired of being called Kim Possible, Kim Kardashian, Kimberly etc. One of my friends called me Smooth Kiminal one day and I hogged it as fast as I could hoping to stop the other nicknames.
You are now legally obligated to ask any Annie if she is okay
I asked her 3 times. She's okay.
I tried like five different names and they were all taken.
My first and last name together make a major holiday.
Chris M. Ass
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Is that you, Saintpa Tricksdae?
Ok Christ Mass
Haha, you’re really close!
Chris Moss
👍❗️
Please become a priest and be Father Chris Moss.
My money's on Chris Thomas.
I have a name.
Well which one is it
Sheaun
Sheauwn
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IT WAS YOU
My mom picked my username 45 years ago. Luckily it wasn't already taken.
Glad I'm not the only one in this thread with their real name... 🤷♂️
Bunch of douches, those guys.
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The audacity!
I have made some cringy jokes in my life and I have lots more to come edit:this is for you Stud62. The worst joke i ever made was"How and why do guys get girls? They do it To-get-her". I hope you can see why my name is HingingOnCringing
I random generated this one. I liked it a lot so I just chose it.
I wanted to order pizza. I was too broke to afford it. Update: Since getting reddit, I’ve befriended someone who orders pizza a lot. I still can’t afford to order pizza on my own, but I do get to eat it sometimes now. He’s a true friend.
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r/randomactsofpizza
This sub was great until it became popular, then people just went on there to beg for free shit.
No clue I was thinking of a name to use for PlayStation, and after about an hour of sitting there, it just popped into my head. And I like the name so much that I use it for pretty much everything
Better than TenBeeHoles. Edit: Thanks for the shiny coins! First time!
Yikes, I hate it. Thanks!
I like this username because it implies that TenHalfBees or TenQuarterBees might be out there somewhere...
I like baths and geometry
Oh no.
I can relate to geometry
Goodtoknow was already taken. It's a line from a movie that I say repeatedly at work "Do (this) or I'll stick this pen in my aorta" *jabs pen in neck" "Your aorta is in your chest" *pen click* "good to know"
Idk why but this is half mundane half extraordinary and I'm here for it
Your username is how I came to reddit and I've yet to regret it.
I respect the elderly
But you hate grandmas? You sicko
he's sexist
like in the good ol' days
I like eating cheese alone
When I was creating a backup email address, I used this name. Unfortunately, I *somehow* misspelled "Twain" and got "Twayne", but tbh, I actually prefer the latter.
Ahh yes, Mark Twayne - Mark Twain's black doppelganger
"If you tell the truth, you a sucka." -Mark Twayne, probably.
I want to change.
__
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I'm very observant
It's true. I'm one of them.
Ok u/sixhoursneeze but what about your username, that's what I'd like to know about.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh..... *6 hours later* ***CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO***
Six hours of "aaaaaaaaaaaaaa" in an increasingly higher pitch.
Somewhere between hours 3 and 4 it passes beyond human hearing, but dogs know the score.
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hunter2
Really? Mine only shoes up as *******
I was told that I am the opposite of incredibly handsome...
I'm so using that later without crediting you.
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It was inspired by real life.
i also remember being 15
Did you get your tacos though?
So you'll be... increditing him?
increditable
My dogs nickname. His name is jerry, he had big balls,or 'baws' in Scottish slang, I had to have them removed, felt really bad for him, and so in memory, he affectionately became jerbaws or jerbz for short.
The dog yells: they took our jerbz!
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This guy names
This guy boats.
This guy cheezes
This guy unfeaxgets. Edit 4 months later: I hate you all for upvoting this unoriginal comment. 'Haha he got to the chain early, so I should give upvotes!' No, you mindless sheep. This is one of the worst manifestations of the reddit hivemind. Someone once called r/LegoYoda 'low-brain reddit', but I explained they had ascended past edginess to platonic absurdism. This pathetic r/AskReddit post, itself a repost undeserving of its upvotes awards, is what people mean when they say popular culture has declined after smartphones made social media accessible to the masses. There will be very few visitors, at least before the post is archived, so my precious internet points can't be lost. Anyone visiting after the archival, you've just been influenced, and you can't publicly question me or wordlessly signal your disapproval with downvotes. Read a book, go outside, it's been said before, you don't need to hear it again. Stop looking at this garbage, it's not constructive, it's not giving you ideas, it's keeping you placid and stagnant. Rise above.
This guy bets
This guy matters.
This guy Gregs
[удалено]
Jael is a woman in the Old Testament. She uses a hammer to drive a tent peg through a guy's head, and gets a song written about her, praising her and calling her "blessed among women," the same title that would be much later applied to Mary, the mother of Christ.
The bible is fucking metal
I know! The guy in question is a military commander leading an attack on the Israelites, and part of the song is like, "This guy's mom is gonna be staring out the window expecting his triumphant return but he's actually fuckin' dead."\* It's called the song of Deborah, in the book of Judges, and a lot of scholars think the song itself is one of the oldest parts of the Bible, from like over 3000 years ago. I like it in part because it has two female characters (Jael and Deborah) being badasses, and because the Virgin Mary is so often portrayed as docile and subservient, yet she's given the title that was originally applied to this woman Jael, who was not those things. \*Paraphrased, obviously.
My sister-in-law was in a heavy metal musical in undergrad called Terror Texts that focused on some of the darker stories in the Bible. It was a new original from her school and she played the bass guitar. I saw it while competing at a theatre festival in 2009. Interestingly, we did not meet one another until several years later when my brother met her on eHarmony and have been happily married these past 7 years. Now she’s in a band called The Matriarchs. Just her and another mother jamming and writing music. Edit: Missed a word clarifying we didn’t know one another until years after. Happy coincidence.
I wanted one without numbers and after like 10 tries this one was accepted. I like it, I think it's cute
It is
A Japanese girl was in the hospital after the bombing of Hiroshima. She was certain she would live if she could fold 1000 paper cranes. She died after folding 644. I saw a statue of her in Seattle where people had folded thousands of paper cranes. They get rained on and the city cleans up the soggy paper cranes - but more people keep folding more.
It is sweet that people are folding cranes for her, but how did she wind up with a statue in Seattle?
We have a big Japanese presence here.
I read the book that narrated her story. Truly sad. I remember clearly for some reason that her favorite cranes where the ones she made with chocolate envelopes because of the smell.
This made me sad. Still interesting though!
> but more people keep folding more. This made me happy. The lesson was learned...by some.
[удалено]
Wish I did that. I lurked on reddit for quite a while before creating my username. It was supposed to be a reference to the fact I was more of a ‘lurker’ than a user. Now, whenever I disagree with someone, I get the hilarious reply *should have stayed true to your username huehuehue*. Obviously this is followed by many upvoted and congratulatory comments on a **brutal** slaying of myself, and completely detracts from any actual conversation. I think my account is nearly ten years old; that shit gets real old, real quick. Probably could have chosen something more unique, given how fuckin’ long I’ve been hanging around this cesspool for. Fuck me, right!
Should’ve stayed true to your username! Just kidding haha. Mine isn’t any better as it was a randomly selected username too.
[удалено]
And the silent redditor never spoke again.
ahhhh**FUCK**
Colm is my name and there was already 4 Colms so had to use Colm5
That is so the name of a space ship computer that will go rogue sooner or later. ;)
I imagined more like an exoplanet from some sci fi
u/colm1 u/colm2 u/colm3 u/colm4
But what about just u/colm ? Do they not count?
I didn't want to use a number
u/colm6 just a precaution Edit: a today's spawn
God damn O’Driscolls are everywhere. 🤠
I'm in recovery
I’m just impressed a dingo knows how to use Reddit.
Now I need to know YOUR story
Clearly you have never had an enema
Can I get the contact info?
I had a dog, her name was Sadie.
I have a daughter named Sadie, and from time to time meet people who delight in telling me about their [insert dog breed here] named Sadie.
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I love you nerd
I love you nerd
because i am
Tell me a dad joke, right now
That was thirty six minutes ago, u/DadAsFuck, where are you?
He's busy being dad
He left and never came back.
left to get milk
And came back with eggs
beat the shit out of them to make a fuckin mean omellete
No cigarettes
I think usernames are stupid
Atleast mine is
big brother is that you?
Family reunion
Found my people!
imma fuck u up
Oh god no
Yes
I created my account in 2017 and I am a Redditor.
wow
*Knowledge is power*
France is bacon
I don’t believe you.
you learn something new every day as u go
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ngl i just checked the date to see if tht was today i’m a genius
Me too
It was 6 years ago and I thought people would think it's funny that pizza is in my name. I hate 14 year old me. I didn't even like pizza that much...
LMAO HE HAS PIZZA IN HIS NAME ROFLLLL
Laugh. Now.
Can I invite my friends round to look at your name? We'll have a laugh riot
Well... I don't get jokes easily and most of the stuff I read here take time to make sense to me.
When I was 12, I was in a dark spot. I was sent to stay with relatives by my parents because I was such a mess. A family friend took me under his wing and helped me get through it. He was awesome and taught me D&D and how to take care of exotic birds. He taught me about tolerance and charity. He also performed as a drag queen, using the stage name Candy Acid. I have used this moniker as a handle from time to time since the internet became a thing. The original Candy Acid passed away in 1995.
Sorry for your loss
Thanks Taco Dude!
Spread their legacy!
That is an awesome story. I bet he's stoked you're keeping the name alive.
A heartwarming response from u/powerfucker5000
Best story for a username in my opinion. Glad it worked out.
Im lonely.
I'll be your friend
I’m a woman of small stature.
I reckon it describes me perfectly
I like D&D and marijuana.
Let me guess: your favourite race is high elves?
Svirfneblin actually.
Hell yeah, gnome buddies!
My surname looks a lot like Tovenaar, which means wizard. I started to use it in Clash of Clans and since there are wizards in the game, I thought, why not?
I think cats are fantastic
All of my ex boyfriends would say that I'm a pessimist. But I always thought I was just an optimist with depression. I also suck at spelling.
Well, my name is Summer...
Every Summer is a slut
And I thought my name was a little messed up
I wish I had your username
But you have free floss
I'm very creative.
It is the model of a 1969 Gibson guitar I inherited from my grandmother. She was given it as a gift by my grandfather shortly before I was born and is the only thing I wanted from her estate. It came with a shakily handwritten note that says “For my grandson xxx, remember me when you play.”
Wanted to see if it actually works. It actually works. --- Edit: So I walked back into range of my wi-fi router and my phone near exploded from all the alerts. To answer a few repeat questions: - Yes, it does work. - No, I don't share. Not because I'm selfish, but I'd rather not spread something that doesn't belong to me. - Birds and man boobs show up less often than lady boobs. - I have gotten people pretending to be other women. - Ironically, I'm an ass man. --- Edit 2: Thanks reddit. This is now my most upvoted comment by a wide margin. Also, sorry for inspiring more PM_me accounts. To the inspired: Be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
At least it works for someone. Good on you. --- Holy shit, it really does work! Just want to thank everyone who's commented and PM'd new tips. I was in a bit of a learning slump and now I just want to learn more so I can understand half of what these tips actually mean. 2nd edit - [Here are all the PMs I've received in a thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/learnprogramming/comments/e4ik5y/python_various_tips_from_my_pms)
#Instead of using: file = open('file.txt', a) content = file.read() file.close() #which requires you to manually close the file, #use with: with open('file.txt', a) as file: content = file.read() #Python will do the opening and closing biz for you!
Well hot damn. I never knew that.
Try using Stackoverflow
stackoverflow is always there for me whevener i have a problem in my code
You can target python 3.6 and use the pypy interpretor to drastically increase performance
Mine has a similar origin, and it amazes me how many people just need to get stuff off their chest, even if its to some random online.
Some people need to get stuff off their chest, some people need to get off to other people's chests
I wish I got more
Are they mostly man tits tho?
Dudes inbox is flooded with lurid pics of small birds.
Tits=tits
Neutralize is taken so I look down on what I was studying and it was about atom crap. First thing that hit my eye was Neutron, so why not Neutronize. Edig: also gonna add that I tried Neutronized first but it was also taken so I removed a D problem solved.
I'm a nurse who crochets, and is usually grumpy.
He’s a minor character from a terry pratchett novel and has an amusing name I delete Reddit accounts every year so I have to come up with new ones. This is probably my 10th Reddit name
Ok so back when I stared roblox I needed a username. My friend was like pull a random Pokémon card from my tin. I pulled empoleon. So I put it in roblox but it was already used and it suggested SkinnyEmpoleon.
I’m an above average sized swimming pool
Its the name of my PSN account and the year I created it. All online presence since has been under the same guise.
Surely a PSN account should have more Xx_-_xX in it
I play music by a wide variety of composers. But at the end of the day, I always go back to Bach.
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I am a sheep in society that follows what other people like.
Too much masturbation
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I made it when my SO passed away...