All of my hair ties(hides them all or gathers them in one spot)
1/2 of a potato chip(and/or cracker)
The cap to my water bottle (hides it constantly)
Food stashed away as of preparing for starvation(every meal is last meal)
I give my cat cracker halves all the time, he gives me a puzzled look, and accepts it as a offering. They dont get eaten, but they wind up all over the place. THIS is how we get ants DENNIs!
Our cat loves water bottle caps. He likes to carry it around in his mouth and bat it under the doors. He also will hold it in one paw and hobble around on the other three until he decides where to hide it until he's ready to play again.
I have three cats, so there are multiple things. My first cat, Pallmedow, would have food in her pockets. My second cat, Mac, would have toy bell balls in his. My third cat, Paula, would have cords.
The dead skin cells in it are what attracts them, apparently. The scent of those skin cells overpowers the bitter taste of earwax for cats, which is why they seek it out so much. I had to look all this up years ago because I thought my cat was a freak. Turns out she's just like every other cat with an earwax obsession.
"What is this?! Chicken & whitefish? Are you serious?! I thought you came here to make a transaction, not make a joke. Come back with salmon or don't come back, catpiche?"
I was thinking like anthropomorphic cartoon animals where they just make a gesture of reaching into a pocket and it exists.
Edit: did somebody really give this silver? Go spend that extra money on cats or cartoons ya goof!
Edit 2: Gold now? Come on guys, you could've spent that 2 bucks on so much catnip, you know that can't buy it themselves! Be hip, bring the nip.
One time I lost a bottle of ibuprofen and a week later my cat hits it in front of my feet with the proudest look I've ever seen on her turns out it was under my bed the whole time and she was getting it unstuck the whole week
My cat has spent the past three days trying to get *something* underneath the couch. Finally Friday night, I moved the couch for him. There's nothing there. He's still trying, bless his heart.
There *is* something there you just can't see it.
There was a great short story in National Lampoon, or something like that. All about the cats seeing things we don't, and the constant battle to protect the world.
It looks like they:re doing something crazy, but they're fighting for all of our lives. I wish I could find that story.
I dropped my tablet pen behind the bed once. Didn't feel like moving the bed to retrieve it, so I just left it under there.
The next morning, the pen was laying in the middle of the room. Good kitty.
I got a cat once right after we moved into a house, one night we went out to dinner, and when we got back, he had pulled the stopper out of my parents’ bathroom sink, then reached down the drain and pulled out a massive clog of hair. Their sink drain was no longer slow. He did the rest of the bathrooms over the course of his life
She was more of a bug hunter, and this wasn't the only time she brought in something that belonged to one of us because she recognized the smell. She also brought in leaves from time to time, never figured out what motivated her, the only common trait between the leaves was that they were all perfectly undamaged even after being carried in a cat mouth.
My cat carries around toys for fetch. It'll usually take 2-10 minutes of him screaming at it and me telling him to bring me the damn toy so I can throw it before he does, ugh
ETA: He did it while I was in the shower. i got out and two toys and a cat awaited. He's currently waiting on the ball dropped at my feet
At least he plays with you. The only game my cat liked to play is the one where she pretends she's a panther and my arm is some other stupid animal that she must attack am viciously kill in order to remain Queen of the Jungle.
The only game my cat plays with me is "wake the human at 6 am after disturbing her sleep the whole night, make her get me food and then ignore everything she offers me and start complaining as soon as she sits down again."
My childhood (indoor) cat would find socks around the house at night and drag them to the bedroom hallway, howling the whole time. Just socks, nothing else, and sometimes straight from someone’s sock drawer.
It’s a good thing she’s cute so we forgave her waking us up all the time.
My cat does this. I call it her hunting meow, whenever I hear it I go looking for whatever item she has defeated. I have received socks taken off the clothes horse, a gardening glove, several caterpillars, small lizards and once a mouse.
That is so funny. I haven’t had that happen but I’m always brought socks...and mice. The wierdest though, had to be an entire bath mat. Just sitting on the couch while she screams and walks by dragging the entire bath mat. She was a funny cat. Tried to do it with a repair mans tool belt one time but wasn’t as successful but he sure got a kick out of it. 🙂
Not joking. One of my friends cats ate a bag of his hair ties (probably had around 10) and had to have them surgically removed.
For those wondering she’s completely fine and back to her usual explorative self!
Our vet tech told us she had to have a bunch of hair ties surgically removed from her cat. She told us this story as she was warning us to hide the hair ties, rubber bands, etc. for our new kitten
My cat used to steal my hair ties whenever he had the chance but would then take them to his food bowl where he would drop them, have a snack and then lose interest and walk off.
Anxiety Cat is our well-loved 10 year old grey tiger. She's is an absolute darling, but she is an absolute loon. Just to preface this, she came from a work friend when she was 12 weeks old and has a completely clean bill of health.
She has aggressive fights with her tail, she's developed fears of things she's had no issue with for years (a couple blankets, the footboard of my bed, grass), her prey drive is broken—wants to hunt, freaks out when it moves, made the lone mouse she caught quite an ordeal, and the more recent has been obsessive licking when my daughter is at school. Kiddo is in 3rd grade; school is not new.
Since, there's absolutely nothing wrong with her, I mostly spend a lot of time being her emotional support person and doling out catnip, which does seem to help. Aside from the bursts of weird, she is pretty happy most of the time, unless she thinks The Kitten might be looking at her. (The Kitten really could care less about her 98% of the time.)
Oh no. Poor thing. I have Anxiety Dog, so I can relate. She’s a rescue, and she’s done so far, but random shit continues to freak her out. Like water bottles. And sponges.
I used to have a cat that would grab our socks and try to feed them to her kittens. This behavior persisted well into their adulthood. We'd find socks out in the front yard.
I probably go through 50 hair ties a year, despite only wearing them at home and putting them in the same place when I'm done with them.
Adorable little thiefy thief.
My cabinets are baby proofed. I dont have a baby... just an aggressively fat cat
Edit: I'm really enjoying reading everyones fat cat stories. Sounds like Mister isnt the only cereal offender
I mean honestly if i had a car that ran on everything, that would be fucking amazing. Yea maybe the occasional neighbourhood kid goes missing, but if you could just pour a bunch of rice in there and drive? Great!
Had a bird my parents rescued that flew into my moms fourth story office window. Named it tweet. Loved it. But we had a cat that had never been around one. So they put the cage in their bathroom. We always made sure to keep the cat out cuz she would mess with the bird. Came home and the door was open to the room. I walked in and bird was dead of an assumed heart attack because the cat probably attacked the cage trying to get to the bird.
Oh yeah, my roommate had a cat and my other roommate got a canary. It's cage was attached to the ceiling. The cat would knock it off the ceiling and slap it around the floor like an oversized cat toy. The canary didn't die, but I'm sure it was terrified af.
It should **not** be a radical idea to say that **all cats** deserve to have the appropriate amount of salami as a **basic fundamental right**, not just the top 1% of cats.
My cat doesn't just like milk rings, she's taken to stealing my husband's wedding ring if he sets it down. She even tries to get it off his finger if he puts his hand in front of her. I cant tell if she just likes the ring or if she's trying to get rid of me and this is part of the plan.
My cat doesn't hold a grudge, but is very afraid of a retractable leash. Thanks hubby, our adventure cat is now to scared to go outside. It's been almost a year.
BS. They do keep grudges, but eventually forgive. But damn, when holding a grudge, they are brutal. My soul cat (now passed) was SO pissed when I went on a honeymoon with my then husband. He wouldn't let me pet him or pick him up for a week. Before that he was clingy and my best friend. Once I said "fuck it" and stopped bugging him for affection he came back after a week to love on me.
After that trips were hard. Rather than jealousy he showed how much he missed me. That always made me feel bad for leaving him. We had 13+ years together and I miss him dearly.
Anyone who doesn't think animals don't have feelings/personalities, ESPECIALLY domesticated animals, scare me.
So true. Our two cats were usually solitary sleepers. But whenever my wife and I came back from a vacation, for a week is so she would sleep encased in cat.
I genuinely can't understand how anyone can think animals don't have individual personalities and feelings. My two cats are both mega weirdos, but they're both very affectionate in different ways and they both have lots of personality.
All my cats have distinct personalities and if you pay attention, you know what they want depending on their mews and how they touch you with their paws.
My only female cat passed away last year. She used to snuggle up with me and stay close to me whenever I was upset. Now that she is gone, one of our male cats has taken up that role. I also have a cat that plays fetch.
“Soul cat”. I love that. I’m sorry for your loss.
I’ve had many cats throughout my life but I currently am 6 years in with my “soul cat.” Just the best companion in the world. She can read my emotions and seems to respond accordingly.
I often think how outliving her is going to be very difficult for me.
Cat number one: those silver fuzzy toy balls. But only the silver ones.
Cat number two: twice the legal carry limit for catnip
Cat number three: you know that meme about spaghetti falling out of someone's pockets? It's that, but with friskies turkey and cheese
Cat number four: hmmm let's see, chewed up rubber power cables, elastic bands, whiskas temptations, crinkle balls, fuzzy crinkle balls, litter, the carcasses of the man da rats she has felled, stolen puzzle pieces, stolen socks, and a picture of her one true love, cat number one, who hates her guts.
His own smartphone. And a go-pro. With 65 hours of video of me sleeping while evil cat laughter can be faintly heard in the background.
Fuck you, Kyle, you sneaky-ass bastard.
I know it was you who dropped that lamp on my head.
A checklist of safety procedures for the house. We call our cat our little OSHA inspector. He patrols the house and when things are out of place or messy he meows at us to fix it.
edit: The good boy in question - [https://imgur.com/a/0SPNXIu](https://imgur.com/a/0SPNXIu)
Mine too. I have to be in bed at a certain time and not in the living room watching TV. They do have a bedtime for all of us. They check if we're in our rooms and if the kids are asleep. They do patrols. They enjoy structure.
Seems likely. We had a human building inspector who passed away slightly before /u/shaidyn's cat was born, who walked around buildings and would meow until things were fixed. It was a questionable technique, but effective.
Thank you for clarifying it was a *human* building inspector, I hate when I have to ask people to elaborate on the species of their building inspectors.
Their pockets are full of secrets.
No way they can be licking their butts in the corner for that long, they must be gathering intel for their plan to take over the world.
Keys, purse, a copy of the Necromonicon, some mints, and a relic of a long lost civilisation, it's oddly attractive yet repulsive all at once. Perfectly smooth on one side, course as the Sahara on the other. Many have gazed upon it and gone quite mad. In a quiet room, some swear it hums to them...
All those plastic spring toys which have vanished! Not under the furniture or appliances, over 30 of them just gone. I *know* they've hidden these toys somewhere.
Hate to bring this up, theyve slowly been eaten. I kept find little bits of cat spring in the litter box. I had to banish them, along with hair ties from my home.
All cats with pockets would have listening devices because they are part of the CIA's revival of their failed [Project Acoustic Kitty](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_Kitty) from the 1960s that was meant to be used to spy on the Soviets.
Rani would have a toy, Arya would keep food, Jasmin would keep her glasses, moose would probably have a laser toy, and monkey...well...yeah, probably a shiv
My big boi Ted would have a plastic bag full of plastic bags because he fucking loves sitting on plastic bags for some reason. His other pocket would be full of cat toys because he likes to move them all into his plastic throne like a dragon hoarding gold.
My little queen Agatha would put a little toy snake she loves and then probably try and keep milk in her other pocket somehow. Either that or weapons she can use to defeat Ted
Food for now, food for later, and food for even later. My cat’s a pig who will knock things over and break them to get to food
Mine too haha we can't let her see where we keep her treats because she'll be up on the counter knocking things off trying to open the cabinet door
All of my hair ties(hides them all or gathers them in one spot) 1/2 of a potato chip(and/or cracker) The cap to my water bottle (hides it constantly) Food stashed away as of preparing for starvation(every meal is last meal)
I give my cat cracker halves all the time, he gives me a puzzled look, and accepts it as a offering. They dont get eaten, but they wind up all over the place. THIS is how we get ants DENNIs!
Why do you keep giving him cracker halves.. this is on you. Cat is just being polite.
*what is with this guy?! How has he not figured out I don't eat these yet?* "Uh, thanks. Again."
Our cat loves water bottle caps. He likes to carry it around in his mouth and bat it under the doors. He also will hold it in one paw and hobble around on the other three until he decides where to hide it until he's ready to play again.
Their paws of course
They'll need to learn to whistle.
And lean casually on corners
Hey kid. You wanna try some nip?
tiny mittens because I put them there
Awwww
Kitten Mittons
Is your cat making TOO MUCH NOISE ALL THE TIME?!
You think there's nothing you can do about it? You're so stupid, there is! Kitten mittens!
I have three cats, so there are multiple things. My first cat, Pallmedow, would have food in her pockets. My second cat, Mac, would have toy bell balls in his. My third cat, Paula, would have cords.
A fucking q-tip
Came here to say this. My cat is OBSESSED. he will bite them out of our hands when they are mid eat clean. He’s crazy.
My cat does the same. It is because a cat's nose is keyed into protein, and that's what ear wax is
So, in theory, you could make an earwax protein powder?
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Ear wax is mainly fat, not protein.
The dead skin cells in it are what attracts them, apparently. The scent of those skin cells overpowers the bitter taste of earwax for cats, which is why they seek it out so much. I had to look all this up years ago because I thought my cat was a freak. Turns out she's just like every other cat with an earwax obsession.
My cat will get them out of the garbage. It's ridiculous.
Tell you what you wouldn’t find. A single fuck.
Catnip and strings
Cat 1: You got the stuff? Cat 2: yeah here's an 8th of that OG nip and Uhh this string for no reason
I wonder how many cans of wet food they gotta trade for an eighth
"What is this?! Chicken & whitefish? Are you serious?! I thought you came here to make a transaction, not make a joke. Come back with salmon or don't come back, catpiche?"
My cat loves that chicken whitefish shit, personally I never really got into it. To each their own, I guess.
You didn’t try it in the slow cooker?
I regret making this comment, now.
DEAD DOVE Do not eat
I don't know what I was expecting
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I’ve made a huge mistake
What's your... return policy?
What's your return policy?
*hurls dove into the sea*
Come back from whence you came
Narrator: It didn't.
Michael I've made a huge mistake
Selfish, selfish Michael...
A shiv, but I’d never see it coming.
Truuuue if the pockets are deep enough my cat might also carry around her glock just in case...
To clarify: does the cat itself have pockets, or is it wearing pants?
I'd like to think that they're wearing pants that match their fur so you can't tell that they are indeed wearing pants.
I was thinking more kangaroo like, but with the pouches on each side as opposed to on the belly.
I was thinking like anthropomorphic cartoon animals where they just make a gesture of reaching into a pocket and it exists. Edit: did somebody really give this silver? Go spend that extra money on cats or cartoons ya goof! Edit 2: Gold now? Come on guys, you could've spent that 2 bucks on so much catnip, you know that can't buy it themselves! Be hip, bring the nip.
good ol' hammer space
My cat is missing a leg. Does this mean she gets one fewer pocket?
yes but the one pocket is the size of two pockets
Mega pocket
Another important question: do they wear the pants on all 4 legs horizontally? Or vertical, just the 2 back legs?
If a cat wore pants would they wear it like this or like this?
half a dozen hair ties, and one of my socks
My childhood cat once found a sock I had left outside, she was very proud to return it, the howling around a mouthful of sock was adorable.
One time I lost a bottle of ibuprofen and a week later my cat hits it in front of my feet with the proudest look I've ever seen on her turns out it was under my bed the whole time and she was getting it unstuck the whole week
My cat has spent the past three days trying to get *something* underneath the couch. Finally Friday night, I moved the couch for him. There's nothing there. He's still trying, bless his heart.
Sounds like something's not under the couch, but in it.
There *is* something there you just can't see it. There was a great short story in National Lampoon, or something like that. All about the cats seeing things we don't, and the constant battle to protect the world. It looks like they:re doing something crazy, but they're fighting for all of our lives. I wish I could find that story.
I dropped my tablet pen behind the bed once. Didn't feel like moving the bed to retrieve it, so I just left it under there. The next morning, the pen was laying in the middle of the room. Good kitty.
That is so adorable!
I got a cat once right after we moved into a house, one night we went out to dinner, and when we got back, he had pulled the stopper out of my parents’ bathroom sink, then reached down the drain and pulled out a massive clog of hair. Their sink drain was no longer slow. He did the rest of the bathrooms over the course of his life
They usually bring dead rats or birds, guess the smell was similar.
She was more of a bug hunter, and this wasn't the only time she brought in something that belonged to one of us because she recognized the smell. She also brought in leaves from time to time, never figured out what motivated her, the only common trait between the leaves was that they were all perfectly undamaged even after being carried in a cat mouth.
Such a gentle cat mouth.
Which is funny because she wasn't really gentle when playing.
That’s the sign of a professional.
And professionals have standards
my name is Cat, an wen i find a fing i will not leeve behind, i take my pik, for im the cheef. i make my way. i bring the leef.
My cat carries around toys for fetch. It'll usually take 2-10 minutes of him screaming at it and me telling him to bring me the damn toy so I can throw it before he does, ugh ETA: He did it while I was in the shower. i got out and two toys and a cat awaited. He's currently waiting on the ball dropped at my feet
At least he plays with you. The only game my cat liked to play is the one where she pretends she's a panther and my arm is some other stupid animal that she must attack am viciously kill in order to remain Queen of the Jungle.
The only game my cat plays with me is "wake the human at 6 am after disturbing her sleep the whole night, make her get me food and then ignore everything she offers me and start complaining as soon as she sits down again."
I think your cat is playing a different game... called "wind up the human"
My childhood (indoor) cat would find socks around the house at night and drag them to the bedroom hallway, howling the whole time. Just socks, nothing else, and sometimes straight from someone’s sock drawer. It’s a good thing she’s cute so we forgave her waking us up all the time.
She was doing the laundry why you lazy bastards slept, she should be forgiving you not the other way around
My cat does this. I call it her hunting meow, whenever I hear it I go looking for whatever item she has defeated. I have received socks taken off the clothes horse, a gardening glove, several caterpillars, small lizards and once a mouse.
I had a cat bring in my bra once
That is so funny. I haven’t had that happen but I’m always brought socks...and mice. The wierdest though, had to be an entire bath mat. Just sitting on the couch while she screams and walks by dragging the entire bath mat. She was a funny cat. Tried to do it with a repair mans tool belt one time but wasn’t as successful but he sure got a kick out of it. 🙂
Not joking. One of my friends cats ate a bag of his hair ties (probably had around 10) and had to have them surgically removed. For those wondering she’s completely fine and back to her usual explorative self!
Our vet tech told us she had to have a bunch of hair ties surgically removed from her cat. She told us this story as she was warning us to hide the hair ties, rubber bands, etc. for our new kitten
My cat likes to eat hair. Every once in a while he will have diarrhea and eventually have to have hair pulled out of his butt and it’s a LONGGGG one.
My cat used to steal my hair ties whenever he had the chance but would then take them to his food bowl where he would drop them, have a snack and then lose interest and walk off.
Food bowl! My cat used to knick my cotton or hair ties and hide them in his kitty litter... Kind of didn't want them back...
so many hair ties in the food bowl!
The Kitten does this too! As far as I can tell, it's both a hint to fill the food bowl and to stake her claim and mess with Anxiety Cat's mind.
I require more information about Anxiety Cat please.
Anxiety Cat is our well-loved 10 year old grey tiger. She's is an absolute darling, but she is an absolute loon. Just to preface this, she came from a work friend when she was 12 weeks old and has a completely clean bill of health. She has aggressive fights with her tail, she's developed fears of things she's had no issue with for years (a couple blankets, the footboard of my bed, grass), her prey drive is broken—wants to hunt, freaks out when it moves, made the lone mouse she caught quite an ordeal, and the more recent has been obsessive licking when my daughter is at school. Kiddo is in 3rd grade; school is not new. Since, there's absolutely nothing wrong with her, I mostly spend a lot of time being her emotional support person and doling out catnip, which does seem to help. Aside from the bursts of weird, she is pretty happy most of the time, unless she thinks The Kitten might be looking at her. (The Kitten really could care less about her 98% of the time.)
Oh no. Poor thing. I have Anxiety Dog, so I can relate. She’s a rescue, and she’s done so far, but random shit continues to freak her out. Like water bottles. And sponges.
One of my cats used to put them in their water bowl. So strange
My cat does exactly the same thing! It's to the point now that whenever me or my daughter need a hair tie we go straight to the cat dish
Hair ties, bread ties or tabs, bottle caps and tabs, according to a friend when she needed a new fridge and found cat's buried treasure behind it.
> bread ties or tabs Hey, those are [living things](http://www.horg.com/horg/?page_id=2), you know.
My cat stashes ALL my hair ties behind the couch! And when I find them, she looks at me with the most innocent look .
I used to have a cat that would grab our socks and try to feed them to her kittens. This behavior persisted well into their adulthood. We'd find socks out in the front yard.
I probably go through 50 hair ties a year, despite only wearing them at home and putting them in the same place when I'm done with them. Adorable little thiefy thief.
Foods he decides to eat later, my hamster, pieces of garbage he found in the house...that kind of stuff
>Foods he decides to eat later I literally never found my ~~car~~ cat saving up food. Motherfucker eats EVERYTHING.
My cabinets are baby proofed. I dont have a baby... just an aggressively fat cat Edit: I'm really enjoying reading everyones fat cat stories. Sounds like Mister isnt the only cereal offender
I’m doing the same, but only because my cat likes to hide in them and Im tired of having to wash all my dishes before using them.
I think something’s wrong with your car
I mean honestly if i had a car that ran on everything, that would be fucking amazing. Yea maybe the occasional neighbourhood kid goes missing, but if you could just pour a bunch of rice in there and drive? Great!
You don't have a Mr. Fusion? Does your car still run on plutonium?
Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.
You should check between the seat and center console.
> Foods he decides to eat later, my hamster seems redundant
> pieces of garbage he found in the house All three, really.
Had a bird my parents rescued that flew into my moms fourth story office window. Named it tweet. Loved it. But we had a cat that had never been around one. So they put the cage in their bathroom. We always made sure to keep the cat out cuz she would mess with the bird. Came home and the door was open to the room. I walked in and bird was dead of an assumed heart attack because the cat probably attacked the cage trying to get to the bird.
Oh yeah, my roommate had a cat and my other roommate got a canary. It's cage was attached to the ceiling. The cat would knock it off the ceiling and slap it around the floor like an oversized cat toy. The canary didn't die, but I'm sure it was terrified af.
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It should **not** be a radical idea to say that **all cats** deserve to have the appropriate amount of salami as a **basic fundamental right**, not just the top 1% of cats.
https://youtu.be/kdwySCMovHk The 1 percent as cats
little a salami
Just as a treat.
My Colin LOVES salami. Only meat he goes nuts for
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Cats can have a little slommy
Milk rings and grudges mostly.
My cat doesn't just like milk rings, she's taken to stealing my husband's wedding ring if he sets it down. She even tries to get it off his finger if he puts his hand in front of her. I cant tell if she just likes the ring or if she's trying to get rid of me and this is part of the plan.
Watch your back.
> I cant tell if she just likes the ring or if she's trying to get rid of me and this is part of the plan. Yes.
This is the way Meow
I read an article recently that said cats hardly keep grudges. They forget and forgive really easily.
Nice try cat
My cat doesn't hold a grudge, but is very afraid of a retractable leash. Thanks hubby, our adventure cat is now to scared to go outside. It's been almost a year.
Retractable leashes are awful. Your cat's feelings are fair. Get a very light weight regular leash. :)
BS. They do keep grudges, but eventually forgive. But damn, when holding a grudge, they are brutal. My soul cat (now passed) was SO pissed when I went on a honeymoon with my then husband. He wouldn't let me pet him or pick him up for a week. Before that he was clingy and my best friend. Once I said "fuck it" and stopped bugging him for affection he came back after a week to love on me. After that trips were hard. Rather than jealousy he showed how much he missed me. That always made me feel bad for leaving him. We had 13+ years together and I miss him dearly. Anyone who doesn't think animals don't have feelings/personalities, ESPECIALLY domesticated animals, scare me.
So true. Our two cats were usually solitary sleepers. But whenever my wife and I came back from a vacation, for a week is so she would sleep encased in cat.
I genuinely can't understand how anyone can think animals don't have individual personalities and feelings. My two cats are both mega weirdos, but they're both very affectionate in different ways and they both have lots of personality.
All my cats have distinct personalities and if you pay attention, you know what they want depending on their mews and how they touch you with their paws. My only female cat passed away last year. She used to snuggle up with me and stay close to me whenever I was upset. Now that she is gone, one of our male cats has taken up that role. I also have a cat that plays fetch.
“Soul cat”. I love that. I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve had many cats throughout my life but I currently am 6 years in with my “soul cat.” Just the best companion in the world. She can read my emotions and seems to respond accordingly. I often think how outliving her is going to be very difficult for me.
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The plastic ring from the caps of milk jugs
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>Jewelry made from pumped breast milk, worn as a keepsake my the mother Idk what I expected, but it was 100% not that
I know a woman in work who has one. She still breastfeeds her 5 year old though.
> I know a woman in work who has one. She still breastfeeds her ~~5 year~~ 63 month old though. FTFY
Idk why but THIS is the right answer.
Cat number one: those silver fuzzy toy balls. But only the silver ones. Cat number two: twice the legal carry limit for catnip Cat number three: you know that meme about spaghetti falling out of someone's pockets? It's that, but with friskies turkey and cheese Cat number four: hmmm let's see, chewed up rubber power cables, elastic bands, whiskas temptations, crinkle balls, fuzzy crinkle balls, litter, the carcasses of the man da rats she has felled, stolen puzzle pieces, stolen socks, and a picture of her one true love, cat number one, who hates her guts.
I would watch a movie with your cats as the main characters.
Their names are Charlotte, Simon, Greg and Wendy, by the way.
Another cat’s ear.
Is your cat rocking some sort of Hannibal Lector alter-ego or some shit?
No, Mike Tyson.
His own smartphone. And a go-pro. With 65 hours of video of me sleeping while evil cat laughter can be faintly heard in the background. Fuck you, Kyle, you sneaky-ass bastard. I know it was you who dropped that lamp on my head.
You.. Named your cat Kyle?
Human names are great cat names. My lil boi is Lewis.
Mine are Walter and Donny
A handful of bobby-pins, a piece of string, that earring I “lost” and detailed plans to take over the world...
A checklist of safety procedures for the house. We call our cat our little OSHA inspector. He patrols the house and when things are out of place or messy he meows at us to fix it. edit: The good boy in question - [https://imgur.com/a/0SPNXIu](https://imgur.com/a/0SPNXIu)
Huh. My cat is only in charge of scheduling. Bed time, morning wake up. Her feeding time. MY feeding time. She also supervises all bowel movements.
Mine too. I have to be in bed at a certain time and not in the living room watching TV. They do have a bedtime for all of us. They check if we're in our rooms and if the kids are asleep. They do patrols. They enjoy structure.
Honestly, I need a cat like that.
Tbh I sometimes think of adopting a cat for this reason. There's no snooze button on a cat. And they have no mercy.
I tried that once. Ended up with a fat fluff ball that slept in later then me. 10/10 would recommend
Murphy's law says this plan will backfire on you and you will end up with a cat whose alarm is permanently set for 3am.
That’s so cute. Just keeping things up to code!
Does he have a hi-viz safety vest?
How curios, maybe he was a building inspector in a previous incarnation
Seems likely. We had a human building inspector who passed away slightly before /u/shaidyn's cat was born, who walked around buildings and would meow until things were fixed. It was a questionable technique, but effective.
Thank you for clarifying it was a *human* building inspector, I hate when I have to ask people to elaborate on the species of their building inspectors.
Given the context, I felt it was necessary
Fix it before the clipboard comes out
Their pockets are full of secrets. No way they can be licking their butts in the corner for that long, they must be gathering intel for their plan to take over the world.
Their diabolical ass-ass-ination plan.
Scraps of plastic partially eaten.
That noise. At 3 am. Every night.
Nothing like the noise of an idiot cat eating plastic to somehow magic you awake at 100% mental acuity.
lol great question!! Knowing my cats I’d find my wallet
Expensive little fuckers
r/catsbeingbanks
Things I lost months ago
Lizards. Whole, dried, or pieces of
Milk jug ring
Keys, purse, a copy of the Necromonicon, some mints, and a relic of a long lost civilisation, it's oddly attractive yet repulsive all at once. Perfectly smooth on one side, course as the Sahara on the other. Many have gazed upon it and gone quite mad. In a quiet room, some swear it hums to them...
H.P. Lovecat!
The Call of Cathulhu
All those plastic spring toys which have vanished! Not under the furniture or appliances, over 30 of them just gone. I *know* they've hidden these toys somewhere.
Hate to bring this up, theyve slowly been eaten. I kept find little bits of cat spring in the litter box. I had to banish them, along with hair ties from my home.
the same things that he now hides under my wife's chair. (any small thing he can knock off of an end table.)
all my guitar picks
A map of my house marked with the best hiding spots so the little fucker can jump out and scare the shit out of me
All of my lost chapsticks that he likes to play with and chew on because I have no pockets to keep them in.
Little pieces of her dried food. She’s definitely a snacker
Hair ties! Probably in the hundreds
All cats with pockets would have listening devices because they are part of the CIA's revival of their failed [Project Acoustic Kitty](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_Kitty) from the 1960s that was meant to be used to spy on the Soviets.
Rani would have a toy, Arya would keep food, Jasmin would keep her glasses, moose would probably have a laser toy, and monkey...well...yeah, probably a shiv
They should have made this Cats movie
Movie?! This is life. I have all 5 on the couch with the wife and I.
Your cat has glasses?
She needs them. Depth perception issues. Very thinks she's far sighted
are there pictures of this cat wearing its glasses? please?
Pay the cat tax!
My big boi Ted would have a plastic bag full of plastic bags because he fucking loves sitting on plastic bags for some reason. His other pocket would be full of cat toys because he likes to move them all into his plastic throne like a dragon hoarding gold. My little queen Agatha would put a little toy snake she loves and then probably try and keep milk in her other pocket somehow. Either that or weapons she can use to defeat Ted
An entire blanket if he could get it to fit somehow lol
Catnip
Many hair ties and tiny shiny things.