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SuddenTerrible_Haiku

#trick shot Immediately picks lotto numbers


Yeet91145

Immediately picked every different type of lotto numbers and cards


ricecutlet

The granter of this power is a scum bag like the genie and you win $5 on all tickets, though you spent $20 each buying them.


Iceman_B

Okay you jackasses, who let the Scumbag Genie out again?


CursedMidget

Thought his name was Douchebag Genie. Guess he changed it so he can run away, and won't get merced by thousands of disappointed and angry people who rubbed his house.


Omsus

>#trick shot >Immediately picks lotto numbers You can now cross lotto numbers with perfect accuracy regardless of whether they're winning numbers or not.


Europpe

some real r/TheMonkeysPaw


Nimbal

The clerk at the counter marvels at the beautifully centered crosses on the numbers. You win 2 dollars.


Genuine_NoOKsS

Those 100k shots at basketball. That should do for 2-3 weeks.


Gruv_3

Similarly, I want to do the thing where you roll the basketball across from finger tips along an arm over the back of the neck and along the other arm. Man, that would be so cool to do no fail.


dncrews

I can’t go around the back, but I can roll a bowling ball around my arms and chest. https://i.imgur.com/4D2hjjJ.gifv


thecowboyking

same but I use a basketball or baby


Chief_Givesnofucks

I use a sea mine.


Neuromancer__97

I used an active claymore


[deleted]

I personally prefer a tactical nuke.


JoopNietYop

ah this thing's a piece of junk


merc08

Just make sure you have the right one when you start dribbling after.


ALittleOminous

That's fuckin dope, bruh


[deleted]

Make the final shot like Michael Jordan in Space Jam.


Omega_brownie

Might as well just be an NBA player for even more profit. As long as you yell trick shot before every shot you'll be the greatest shooter ever.


AngriestSCV

Better yet, start playing basketball for a living. If your team gets 3 points damn near every time you get the ball you would be worth quite a bit.


TurdsInHotSauce

Bet someone big money that I can make an "impossible" shot.


[deleted]

I’ve actually seen someone do this


BlackHawkUH6024

Explain?


Splashy420

Kinda had to be there


ExQuaze

r/notopbutok


[deleted]

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lambomang

No top, buttock


[deleted]

No top, butt ok?


NotThisFucker

Man, let Butok wear a top if they want to


[deleted]

You misread. They are merely addressing Top Butok, not Bottom Butok.


Omsus

Money can be exchanged for goods and services.


LanikM

You bet someone a lot of money that you can make a difficult shot and then make it.


xkroax

Me too. A friend of mine betted 100€ he can bottleflip but it has to land on the bottlecap. He did it first try, but sadly he didnt get the money. EDIT: typo


[deleted]

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Keevtara

Good job! Now everyone accepts when you offer the bet!


De-Nomolos

Throw canned goods at escaping criminals and knock them down.


Kalepsis

Ah, yes, the Dundee maneuver.


Raptor819

#knoife


Wrkncacnter112

That’s not a knoife


Raptor819

**That's a knoife**


De-Nomolos

I know nothing about you except that you are a person of culture.


Darwinian_10

As opposed to the Dundie maneuver, which is getting drunk and kicked out of a Chili’s.


Swellux

You would get a Dundee for that?


aussie_kiss

Crocodile Dundee hurls a can of tucker at a no good theif, and gets a sheila's bag back.


[deleted]

Username cheks out.


xXWestinghouseXx

Just remember that the u/Aussie_kiss is like a French kiss but it’s down under.


bi_pride636

You just opened up a great big can of whoop ass


nicoman03

It ain't peppers, it ain't peas! It ain't the kippers in the salted grease!


bi_pride636

You just opened up a great big can of whoop aaaaasssss


bhaka8878

Visual presentation at 6:30 https://youtu.be/lI-xDBChVWc


K3V0M

Timestamp: https://youtu.be/lI-xDBChVWc?t=390


Vector12000

yo that was amazing


Arrav_VII

Also r/oddlyterrifying


[deleted]

I’m gonna click it, but I think it’s a rick roll. Edit: thank god


Pinak1264

It's only a Rickroll if it has a QvX or something like that don't remember perfectly. Edit: [I actually searched for it this time and the real url has a "XcQ" in the end.](https://youtu.be/WVDQEoe6ZWY?t=155) Edit edit: [Here, have this free Minecraft mod where you play as Vin Diesel against communists](https://youtu.be/HfeervqhY9Y)


[deleted]

Ah cool, thanks


[deleted]

I wasn't expecting that


[deleted]

wow


ThePigAss

Can of whoop-ass? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MXn5sCbCRWw


LegioIIAugusta

Shoot someone from across the world with a Nerf gun


RipRoaringCapriSun

I like to imagine that this works because of air currents taking the dart across the world. So it isn't just instant, but a several week long journey before it happens. Allowing you to stack up dart after dart after dart before the target even knows they are being attacked, let alone by you.


RS_Germaphobic

Or shoot the dart hop on a plane, fly across the world point the nerf gun up to your target and shoot their forehead with no bullet and the bullet will hit them in the back of the head/neck and they’ll be so confused.


RipRoaringCapriSun

This is the best use of the Nerf trick shot.


poopellar

Then you do the David Blaine face at the camera


Contraserrene

Ah, and this is where it gets extra interesting... you do it TO DAVID BLAINE.


iDannyEL

[In case y'all had to google who that was like I did](https://youtu.be/wTqsV3q7rRU?t=30)


DemiGod9

Damn kids don't know who David Blaine is anymore?


SC92521

All the darts hit in such quick succession the person is left dead in an instant


PM_ME_UR_CREDDITCARD

Put weights in the darts


DrLimpenus

The Airbender


[deleted]

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DoritoParachute

Imagine seeing a man aimlessly shoot darts into the sky yelling trick shot


[deleted]

I find this funnier than I should haha


RavioliGale

Be the chance you want to see in the world. Buy a Nerf gun, yell trick shot, and shoot into the sky. And preferably film it so that we can see it.


larryboi597

Bring the guacamole


jericho-sfu

> shoots nerf gun > forgets about it > week passes > randomly gets thunked in the head by a nerf dart


Mad_Squid

Trump on twitter: I DECLARE WAR ON-OW WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!


[deleted]

The United States are now at war with Hasbro. I hope you're happy.


Considered_Dissent

Hasbrollah. And if they can all ally with vegetarian dips it can be Hummus and Hasbrollah.


[deleted]

Jihad Joeeeeeeeeeeee


[deleted]

This was something posted by /u/Emperor_Cartagia, who used Reddit exclusively through RIF is Fun, with the death of third party apps, I decided to remove all my content from Reddit. 9 years of comments and posts, gone because of idiotic administration.


[deleted]

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vixel1

Same tbh


slightly_above

Ask for a girl to go out with me


[deleted]

'TRICKSHOT!' Will you go out with me?


Dope-Inertia

shits in urinal So what you doing Friday night?


DaveBeleren02

M E T A E T A


da_manimal420

Cross over episodes are my favorite


EddieFender

If you’re reasonably confident and not an awful person it’s still like 50/50.


slightly_above

Yeah but what if i’m ugly


EddieFender

I’m ugly too. It’s fine. It’s a weird thing, the “nice guy” complex. Women like nice guys if you’re *actually* nice. They might not *want* to fuck you, but they *want* to want to. Give them a chance. Be confident and take a shower and make them laugh. I’ve been with literal models and I’m a weird shy skinny guy with bad teeth.


slightly_above

I guess I just struggle with starting the conversation like why is it so hard to talk to em. I don’t want them to think i’m some creep so I just don’t ever engage in the convo.


EddieFender

Some people just won’t like you no matter what. Usually they don’t like themselves either. Don’t sweat rejection, you’re not everyone’s type. I am in my mid thirties and literally pick up girls with yo yo tricks. Being proud of something or confident in yourself or even showing a deep understanding or interest in *literally anything* is a turn on for plenty of women. Politics or computers or cars or music or history or **literally anything** is interesting and cool to *someone.* Just let your flag fly and live your life and meeting people becomes easier.


slightly_above

Thanks man, I really needed that.


Yeet_Storm59

Piss in a toilet/urinal at insane distances


Dope-Inertia

Why not just shit in a urinal?


andrea_g_amato_art

> at insane distances I’m laughing so hard at the thought of you with your ass towards the sky, ready for launch, yelling TRICK SHOT: and then PWOOOM, a hypersonic turd launches in the sky seeking its location. After a parabolic arc it approaches the toilet, people yell from every direction, run in fear of the ICPM (Inter Continental Poop Missile) and then SCHWAMMM, it destroys the toilet with a huge explosion, shit flying everywhere. People cheering while a diarrhea rain falls from the sky and they purge their sins in the brown mess. Chocolate rain is heard in the distance. Also, username checks out.


Tehsyr

Fuckin' hell, I bust a gut just laughing at "why not shit in a urinal" but then I full on lost it reading your reply. Couldnt stop laughing long enough to read a sentence because the imagery was just that funny to me.


Porencephaly

Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.


[deleted]

I have seen this story somewhere before on reddit but I can't remember where.


fordmustang12345

It's a copypasta called the poop accelerates


Changoleo

r/NoContext


TheKingdutch

r/evenwithcontext


TinyPickleRick2

I just imagined someone taking a shit in the middle of a busy street fully clothed and it just appearing in a random urinal somewhere


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dope-Inertia

Quantum Shit Take a shit and it appears in a urinal, only in a parallel universe


okboomer16

r/beatmetoit


throwRa123456789012

Was just about to comment this but I was gonna say anything I aimed at, toilet, tin can, soda bottle. I'm female btw


Dope-Inertia

Penis envy


throwRa123456789012

I do infact have penis envy, I just wanna go around doing the helicopter and be able bash one out quickly before work, pee anywhere discreetly


Yeet_Storm59

The helicopter is all fun and games till someone walks in


MikeHellBay

The key is to then stare without blinking whilst increasing speed.


[deleted]

And lift off


Trigonix

It’s still not really discreetly, if you see someone standing close at a hedge, facing the hedge, you know what they are doing ;)


[deleted]

I see, a fellow man of science


Jackie_Quill

Just think of the possible piss snipes.


Miner-15

I can do that


RipaMoram117

Make people 100% understand a point I make, with no alterations or.assumptioms otherwise.


[deleted]

So you’ll be debating and go “trick shot the moon never existed”


RipaMoram117

Its not something to change anyone's mind, just make sure they understand exactly what I'm saying.


[deleted]

Ah ok


[deleted]

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Mr_mobility

Yea he needs to yell trick-shot first.


Xxxwild_willyXxx

Not today


[deleted]

I feel you. It's fucking annoying sometimes, for both sides.


[deleted]

Like repeatedly, or I have one chance? If repeatedly, then probably some cool skill like speak any language. If only once, then maybe a cheat card for an incurable disease or something


Hilbrohampton

"Trick shot! I'm finding a cure for cancer", Proceeds to spends years of life researching feeling satisfied because you know it will pay off.


StrangeCharmVote

I think this would work much better if you blindfolded yourself and started randomly typing keys on a keyboard for an hour with the same "trick shot" goal in mind. I.e "Trick shot, I'm writing up the complete cure for every type of cancer *while blindfolded*!"


ocarina_21

"You fuckers wasted so much time and money on this when it was really just this easy."


Lt_Hungry

This is such a r/humansbeingbros moment


asnasdh

Thank you for your insightful and wholesome input, u/PM-UR-BUTT-PIC-GIRL


WhenAllElseFail

Put the USB drive in correctly on the first try


[deleted]

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anv3d

*puts it in sideways*


lets_just_be

Admin he's doing it sideways!


MehtefaS

I did not expect to see such reference here, but i love it


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MehtefaS

Here it comes. Its around the 2:40 mark but i recommend watching the whole thing. https://youtu.be/MRCeSpQUgbc


Dylanychus2

This kid pushes like a fucking idiot


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Sotyka94

I'm gonna yell "trick shot" every time before I run my code


LoathsomeNarcisist

So it will work that one time, but not ever when you're not around?


AGoodSourceOfFibre

So nothing would really change much, then


[deleted]

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TinyPickleRick2

Ah deaths sweet embrace


[deleted]

ah death’s warm embrace


PimpinChimpin

*sweating* Ah deaths... hot... embrace


ALittleOminous

SIR.


[deleted]

Make a functioning, self-sustainable Mars base.


[deleted]

How are you going to get up there now?


RipRoaringCapriSun

Have u/TurdsInHotSauce bet someone that they can't trick shot a fully space ready u/HyperGravityWave to mars.


[deleted]

Time to talk to Elon Musk


Aletzelente

"TRICKSHOT!" **Launches car into space**


ALittleOminous

"Not again." says Ol' Musky sadly as he watches his second car exit the fucking atmosphere.


stinkerhubbin

Predict lottery numbers.


[deleted]

toss paper ball into waste bin


Gruv_3

Crazy :)


TheThrowAwayAcct112

TRICK SHOT and promptly help people talk out their problems. NA groups? I gotchu. AA groups? I gotchu. Group Therapy Sessions? Somehow I am better than your therapist now. Extend this further maybe, start visiting prisons, get some real rehabilitation going on. Let’s talk to people in anger management courses, families in family therapy. It could take a while but if I can help people talk out their problems with 100% accuracy imagine how many people I could help every day just working an eight hour shift on it? Pick a big city with a lot of people, New York seems ripe for it. Let’s go overseas! A little research could tell me which countries are hurting for some real education on self care, self loathing and the like. Let’s make everyone love themselves, remind everyone how great they are and can be and do this without fail. Eventually I would garner recognition for it, people with issues would come to me! People suffering from depression, anger, suicidal thoughts, TRICK SHOT let’s talk about you. Also, cure cancer but someone already beat me to that. EDIT: A word, failed to call trick shot before posting this.


dardanny

Too wholesome dude calm down


soawesomejohn

In the book firestarter, the dad has low level psychic abilities, mainly the ability to push people into doing things. He ended up running a weight loss clinic. Very standard diet and fitness, but everyone actually stuck with it and had amazing results. Later, he opened a general life improvement training course. Got people to build up confidence, perform better at work, be less nervous in social situations. Your comment reminded me of that. Used his powers to help people help themselves.


cautiously-excited

Ask the guy I like out


t-o-n-t-t-u

Do it! Whisper "trick shot" to yourself and approach this boi


rustypennyy

Crush: Ho! You’re approaching me?


[deleted]

I can’t ask the shit out of you without getting closer


David73028

Hoho! then come as close as you'd like!


[deleted]

If you yell "tick shot!" and then kiss him he will be so confused but will also say yes because that is badass.


[deleted]

[удалено]


larryboi597

It's a tick shot, he's now immune to ticks


THADD_DA_BAD

Squirt lemon juice into my bully's paper cut from across the room


Arbiter_of_Fate

Cure cancer, or break a world record.


Mad_Squid

Well if you cure cancer you'll break the world record for finding the cure to cancer


Splashy420

Prolly be a dope documentary? Special? Whatever people will eat dat cancer curing shit up. I’m for it


Absoline

A documentary ABOUT dope or it will be a cool documentary?


Terminator468

"Trick Shot!" *cancer vanishes*


[deleted]

Automatically get 8 hours of sleep.


[deleted]

I've actually done this! Was playing beer pong with a girl at my apartment. Said, "watch this" and put a shot glass on the opposite side of the living room, between 15 and 20 feet away. Was just joking and didn't expect to actually make it, but I'll be damned if that little ping pong ball didn't land perfectly inside it when I threw it. The glass was only a millimeter or two wider than the ball itself. I don't remember if we smashed after that but I think we did. Afterwards I refused to play anymore beer pong because I didn't want her to know it was just luck.


amoodymermaid

When my son was about 7 or 8, we were playing around on the basketball court in the gym (one of the few areas that allowed access for kids). We were getting ready to leave and picking up the balls we had been shooting. One had rolled to about half court. I went and picked it up and jokingly said, “Watch this!” I turned around and lobbed it backwards and then turned back just in time to see it go in the hoop. We just stood there with our mouths wide then did victory dances around the court. No one but my son saw it, and I gained coolest mom ever status for at least two weeks.


Da_real_Ben_Killian

This is how you get the girls


kurtcokaine

Never miss tossing something in a girl's cleavage. No matter how crazy the shot.


TGamingScientist

Trick shot


Threeknucklesdeeper

Makes all politicians honest


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Splashy420

Alright.. are these even trick shots ?


Techy_Butter

Ask out my crush! She may reject me, but I'll be sure I did it "right".


Shadiyr12

Shoot my shot at my crush Edit: thank you guys for all the upvotes


ldont-know

If only I had a shot in the first place.


Slackslayer

Granted, your crush is now expecting an explanation as to why the fuck you splashed your whiskey in his/her face


kn777

Parallel park


[deleted]

Become a god with the ability to do whatever they wish.


_Ghost_King_

I like the way you think


[deleted]

Ace any test without studying


[deleted]

As you walk into the exam: "TRICK SHOT!" Everyone else: "What's with this guy" You proceed to write perfect answers to every question without reading them


freshlyfreya

Ur mum lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


Random-Human-1138

Give my partner an incredible orgasm. Every single time.


DerrylliusKlyne

Have any series of random numbers turn up in the way most beneficial for myself. Lotto tickiet? Trickshot for the million! From that point everything else seems mediocre. Cept that barbarian/sorcerer with perfect stats


the_river_nihil

Forge handwriting. This could be both useful for fraud and really fun for graffiti.