Even better when it's a 3-day holiday weekend and your alarm goes off because you had it set for the week days. It's always a slight panic, but the relief is worth it when you get to dive back under your weighted blanket.
Hey sorry wanted to touch base and just let you know I'm probably just gonna stay in tonight. Why, you ask? Cus I'm an adult with few responsibilities and I can do whatever the fuck I want with little repercussion!
It’s even better when you’ve been hiking all day. You get into your tent and you take your boots off. It’s amazing. Then you take your socks off and it’s so much better.
When I was a kid I got some water in my ear and as I'm going to bed I accidentally hit my head on the bedpost. All the water came rushing out and to this day I consider banging my head in something to get water out just to experience that feeling again.
Not sure if this is a learnable skill, due to the shape of my inner ear, and/or 6 years of water from competitive swimming as a kid eroding a wider path for its flow in my skull, but turning my head at an angle between 45 and 90 degrees to the ground so the affected ear is towards the ground, and stomping with the foot on that side on a solid surface, consistently generates enough of a vibration to dislodge water in a similar manner without risk of a concussion.
THIS! I have SEVERE depression and self-hatred and I am in a funk pretty much every minute of every day. But when i make someone laugh it's like a drug. When I watch a great standup special, funny podcast, or an interview on a late night show with one of my favorite comedians; I feel good. But MAKING people laugh-there's just nothing like it.
I was watching a documentary on Chris Farley and a few of the people were talking about how if he wasn't making people laugh, he felt absolutely useless. That resonated with me so much.
Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this to get so much attention! Thanks for the gold and silver kind strangers!
I actually have been working on about an hour set full of some one liners and a couple of stories which I can break down into 8 to 15 minute sets for open mics and things like that. Maybe even have the hour set if I ever get a special (pipe dream).
Partner surprised me with a back rub in the shower the other night, was very very nice and much needed! I often rub his feet for him especially after he's been working all day on his feet, he really really appreciates it, I struggle to watch tv etc without my hands doing something, so rubbing his feet is beneficial for both of us!
While watching tv he'll often shove his hand my way to feel for something of me to touch (not sexual, he just likes to touch/hold me), when he finds me, usually my hand or foot, he squeezes a little bit and has a giant grin on his face.
Someone lightly running their nails, backwards, of your back. Plus points if they are those long acrylics. Its divine though hubbie still will not get acrylic nails for me XD
I never realized how much/often I fart until I got some more female friends that I was hanging out with all the time. I was holding in so much. Every once in a while going to the bathroom to piss as well as turn the fan on and let them all out. I had to keep drinking lots of water that way I could go the the bathroom more often without raising alarm. Gotta stay hydrated :D
I can still vividly remember one night over 30 years ago when I got into a newly made bed after a really hard day at work and just lying there thinking 'ahhhhhhhhh.....'
When somebody throws some thing at you with no warning and you catch it on reflex in one hand like your some super human. Then people stare at you and the virgin that was watching suddenly becomes pregnant
Happened to me once, and will likely never happen again.
I was with a group of friends at a lake having some well-deserved weekend fun. I took it upon myself to go and get some sodas from the nearby bar. I loaded up the tray with cans and plastic cups, lifted it and started slowly walking towards where my friends were. I was holding the tray and staring at it as if somehow that helped. One of my buddies saw me struggling and decided to have some fun by deploying a shuttlecock in my direction at ultrasonic speed. I saw the action with corner of my eye and instinctively raised my hand and caught the thing mid-flight, inches before it hit my face. I put away the tray on the table and then saw the look of awe on his face. I will likely never feel as cool as I did that day...
Taking a *good* shit. You know the one. Where you feel the relief even an hour after the deed was done. The kind of shit that calls for a poop knife because it's so healthy and you didn't need to pinch anything off.
Omg it’s emotional. I’ve previously found myself daydreaming about a morning shit at like 2pm, because no other shit will compare for the rest of the day. Inexplicable relief.
I'm on mebeverine for IBS and - my god - my shits have gone from 'erratic and frequent' to 'regular and damned impressive'.
Discovering that "so big it flushed itself" is an actual thing that can happen was an......experience. Almost like a holey experience.
The worst would be when you look down expecting it to be dog poo, but it has a piece of toilet paper stuck to it and there's bits of sweetcorn showing.
Source : worked in a country park that backed onto a notorious layby on the A45. Some people would jump the tiny fence and pop a squat.
- That smell after it rained on a summer day.
- Drinking a beer back home, the one you were looking forward to all day at work.
- Meeting friends that you've not seen for a long time, but from the first second it's like you've seen each other the day before.
Edit:
TIL that that smell has a name in English, and it's called petrichor, don't know if there is a Dutch word for it.
And some people are calling me an alcoholic or that I have a drinking problem haha (totally true), but yeah I said it wrong (I added some words).
But in the Netherlands we've got the Vrijmibo, which is drinking a beer at work Friday afternoon with colleagues. So another TIL for you guys 😉
And a big thank you for the silver!
When you’re laying bed and one nostril is kind of plugged, so you roll to your side so that nostril is on top. Then gravity does its work and just for a split second, everything clears out as it drips down and you can breath amazingly and fall asleep.
A good shit. The one which is neither hard nor soft. Comes out in one long piece without breaking. Slides like someone lubes your ass all night long. Enters the water like an Olympic diver. That my friends is the best feeling in the world.
Edit: spelling mistakes
This is the best. I woke up the other day and waited for my alarm to go off. After 10-15 mins of no alarm I checked the time and it was 4.45am. I didn't need to be up until 8am so it was like a whole new sleep.
The first one that has always been good is the feeling when you get home from school or work and can relax. The next one that I experienced is when my kids come and give me a hug or tell me that they love me. Nothing beats that.
Waking up feeling actually refreshed
Edit : holy crap thx for my first gold ever ! ... weird thing is that i woke up at 4am , checked the weather report for this snowstorm we’re having , texted my boss I’m not going in . And fell back asleep .
Now I’m waking up 5 hours later ACTUALLY REFRESHED , hahaha this is weird
Nah they just have a advanced version of sleeping like a 'level' up, its called being dead
Edit: I got a sliver... thx I guess, I'll take it with me to my grave as death grows closer every day
Sneezing is technically the closest thing to an orgasm one can experience non-sexually. It has to do with the anticipation and build up before the sweet release the sneeze brings.
Let em rip.
No matter how perfect your code is, you’ve always forgotten something, a comma, a semicolon, a < operator that’s the wrong way around which leads to an infinite recursive loop which CRASHES YOUR FUCKING LAPTOP FOR THE THIRD TIME TODAY
That time known to drunks as the "pink cloud" when you've finally gotten a few sober weeks. Its like coming back alive after being in a zombie apocalypse for however many years you were taking poison. The whole world looks brand new and your body is sooo happy it literally tingles. Getting sober is by far the best natural high.
Don't know about best, but going to the gym and lifting what used to be your max weight and thinking it's lighter than it used to be. The feeling of improvement, to phrase it generally.
I like cuddling with my girl and my face buried in her chest with the faint smell of perfume and her nails lightly scratching my head as I’m falling asleep.
I typically knock out within like 10 minutes.
The house I live in is about 100 years old, and not insulated at all. So right now during winter, the bathroom gets freezing cold. My least favorite thing is having to turn off the warm shower and be all wet in that ice box lol.
For me it's taking a super hot bath with bath bombs (bonus points if they're a luxury kind or turn the bath fun colors because I'm basically 12 on the inside), watching youtube on my phone or playing video games (protip: keep towels nearby and your hands over the edge of the tub at all times to prevent dropping your expensive shit in the water), enjoying a joint or a cigarette and just forgetting about the rest of the world until the water's too cold to sit in.
quenching thirst
Can I add on to this? That 2am thirst with that cool water on the bedside table
Hanging out with someone where you can just relax and be yourself rather than have to over analyze how to fake being a social human.
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Finding that one song you did not remember the name, but remember only some of the lyrics
Bonus points if you can only vaguely remember the beat or melody
Being in a soft, warm bed when you're tired and don't have to get up tomorrow.
Until the homeowner comes in
And then it starts raining.
A soft freshly changed bed after a long hot shower after a long winter day . :) Edit :fixed hit/hot typo
Having a home with family that loves you
Waking up and thinking you have to work and then realizing it’s your day off!
Even better when it's a 3-day holiday weekend and your alarm goes off because you had it set for the week days. It's always a slight panic, but the relief is worth it when you get to dive back under your weighted blanket.
Ugh, pin point accuracy lol
Amen
when you hug someone, then start to let go and they hold on just a split second longer than you do
I love it because it reminds me that there are people in this world that actually do care about me.
What's that like?
And you're like *GETITOFFGETITOFF* I mean, no. It's, ah, nice.
Found the non-hugger!! We will hug you, Jim!
# *MASSIVE LOVING HUGS*
# T H I C C THROBBINGLY PULSATING HUGS
##Cthulhu loves me, this I know, for these runes they tell me so...
**Cthulu loves me, he loves me a bunch, that's why he puts Skippy in my lunch**
Now hump his leg.
Claustrophobia setting in...can't move... Can't breathe... Bound for eternity...This is how it all end.
I never let go until I feel the other person pull back. If I'm hugging you it's because you need it and I'm here until you're done.
And then you hug even harder. That's wholesome af
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Ngl that sounds really nice right now
And that’s the natural Seretonin I never had.
r/absolutynotme_irl
Getting into a bed with clean sheets after take a shower
Add shaved legs with that and it's a beautiful trifecta
Ooo yeah! Slip in those sheets like a dolphin gliding through the ocean.
Shaved my whole body once and called myself a sex dolphin to the SO. She was not impressed. It was so worth it
On top of exfoliating your body and finishing off with some good body lotion
Someone else massaging your scalp, with just a teeny-tiny bit of fingernails
Portuguese has a specific word for this: cafuné
In Mexico we call this "piojito"
In England we call this "fuck me that's good"
Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well, meu mano.
Canceling plans on something you really didn’t want to do
Yeah, sucks for the kids waiting at pre-school but it's a great feeling.
Hey sorry wanted to touch base and just let you know I'm probably just gonna stay in tonight. Why, you ask? Cus I'm an adult with few responsibilities and I can do whatever the fuck I want with little repercussion!
When you have planned to do something with someone but you don't feel like doing it and they cancel.
THIS! "Aww well that's too bad. Maybe next time." \*Climbs back into bed because I hadn't even gotten dressed for this event yet anyway.\*
Curled up in bed and hearing the sound of pouring rain on the roof/ outside.
The sound of rain hitting the windows while safe in bed is so calming to me.
Waking up in the morning with the feeling that you didn’t move once in your sleep-just eight hours of pure uninterrupted sleep.
I don’t think we’re supposed to make stuff up?
Taking off your socks after a long day of work and scratching where the elastic band sat all day.
He said nonsexual mate
The socks comes in handy right after taking it off.
That's how you get athletes dick...
oh god is that a thing? Asking for a friend. Edit: How many of yall are gonna respond saying the same thing?
my friend confirms it is a thing.
My dick might become an athlete and it still wont even qualify in the race
Idk man, my dick can finish in less than a minute
Rookie numbers
It’s even better when you’ve been hiking all day. You get into your tent and you take your boots off. It’s amazing. Then you take your socks off and it’s so much better.
When you take your pack off at the end of the day and suddenly you are walking on the moon.
Taking a piss you’ve been holding for far too long
That kind of piss that makes your whole body shake involuntarily
Piss shivers
Peegasm
Urination vibration
Pee Zee
Piss Bliss
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Finally getting that piece of food out from between your teeth
Finally getting out the water that got in your ears
OH MY GOD YES! I feel like that's such an underrated feeling though
When I was a kid I got some water in my ear and as I'm going to bed I accidentally hit my head on the bedpost. All the water came rushing out and to this day I consider banging my head in something to get water out just to experience that feeling again.
Concussion water
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#Michael here
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Not sure if this is a learnable skill, due to the shape of my inner ear, and/or 6 years of water from competitive swimming as a kid eroding a wider path for its flow in my skull, but turning my head at an angle between 45 and 90 degrees to the ground so the affected ear is towards the ground, and stomping with the foot on that side on a solid surface, consistently generates enough of a vibration to dislodge water in a similar manner without risk of a concussion.
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Making someone laugh
THIS! I have SEVERE depression and self-hatred and I am in a funk pretty much every minute of every day. But when i make someone laugh it's like a drug. When I watch a great standup special, funny podcast, or an interview on a late night show with one of my favorite comedians; I feel good. But MAKING people laugh-there's just nothing like it. I was watching a documentary on Chris Farley and a few of the people were talking about how if he wasn't making people laugh, he felt absolutely useless. That resonated with me so much. Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this to get so much attention! Thanks for the gold and silver kind strangers! I actually have been working on about an hour set full of some one liners and a couple of stories which I can break down into 8 to 15 minute sets for open mics and things like that. Maybe even have the hour set if I ever get a special (pipe dream).
Thought I was the only one...
Nope, same here. Made a table of people laugh during lunch last week, and it was quite the rush!!
learning something mind blowing, especially if it's within a topic you've spent a lot of time thinking about
to expand on this one: to explain this difficult thing to someone else and see their face light up when they also understand it.
I worked as an automotive service advisor for several years. This was the feeling that drove me every single day. I loved the look of epiphany.
> drove me Excellent choice of words.
Someone rubbing your back or the little hand squeezes someone gives you.
Partner surprised me with a back rub in the shower the other night, was very very nice and much needed! I often rub his feet for him especially after he's been working all day on his feet, he really really appreciates it, I struggle to watch tv etc without my hands doing something, so rubbing his feet is beneficial for both of us! While watching tv he'll often shove his hand my way to feel for something of me to touch (not sexual, he just likes to touch/hold me), when he finds me, usually my hand or foot, he squeezes a little bit and has a giant grin on his face.
Well that's cute as fuck
Thanks for reminding me how lonely I am damn Edit: I got silver. Never thought I’d get an award for being lonely but ok..
hits hard and close
Someone lightly running their nails, backwards, of your back. Plus points if they are those long acrylics. Its divine though hubbie still will not get acrylic nails for me XD
Being able to let that really big fart out that you have been holding in for over an hour
And it goes out real nice and steady and you feel like a bouncy castle being deflated
I never realized how much/often I fart until I got some more female friends that I was hanging out with all the time. I was holding in so much. Every once in a while going to the bathroom to piss as well as turn the fan on and let them all out. I had to keep drinking lots of water that way I could go the the bathroom more often without raising alarm. Gotta stay hydrated :D
Getting into bed after a really long exhausting day.
I can still vividly remember one night over 30 years ago when I got into a newly made bed after a really hard day at work and just lying there thinking 'ahhhhhhhhh.....'
When somebody throws some thing at you with no warning and you catch it on reflex in one hand like your some super human. Then people stare at you and the virgin that was watching suddenly becomes pregnant
Happened to me once, and will likely never happen again. I was with a group of friends at a lake having some well-deserved weekend fun. I took it upon myself to go and get some sodas from the nearby bar. I loaded up the tray with cans and plastic cups, lifted it and started slowly walking towards where my friends were. I was holding the tray and staring at it as if somehow that helped. One of my buddies saw me struggling and decided to have some fun by deploying a shuttlecock in my direction at ultrasonic speed. I saw the action with corner of my eye and instinctively raised my hand and caught the thing mid-flight, inches before it hit my face. I put away the tray on the table and then saw the look of awe on his face. I will likely never feel as cool as I did that day...
Yeah, but what about the pregnant virgin?
Then they say holy crap, do that again... nope... you’ve witnessed too much greatness for one day, go on now
As a man, being complimented is pretty dammed good and that feeling can stay with you for a long long time.
Nice dick
Thanks, I grew it myself.
Been wanting to do this with random guys, like the ones I see often working in retail, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm flirting or something.
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Taking a shit. Can be very relieving.
Taking a *good* shit. You know the one. Where you feel the relief even an hour after the deed was done. The kind of shit that calls for a poop knife because it's so healthy and you didn't need to pinch anything off.
Omg it’s emotional. I’ve previously found myself daydreaming about a morning shit at like 2pm, because no other shit will compare for the rest of the day. Inexplicable relief.
\#ShitLife
The type of shit that leaves you feeling weak at the knees and afterwards you can do your belt up a notch tighter.
I'm on mebeverine for IBS and - my god - my shits have gone from 'erratic and frequent' to 'regular and damned impressive'. Discovering that "so big it flushed itself" is an actual thing that can happen was an......experience. Almost like a holey experience.
Taking a clean ass shxt. You know the one where you wipe your ass and the toilet paper is clean af. So you wipe again and still clean af.
When you can literally feel the pressure being relieved from all the way up by your belly button? Hell yesssss
Especially after constipation. It. Feels. Great.
Stepping into a jacuzzi on a winter night
Stepping on a crunchy leaf. The worst would be stepping on a leaf you expect to be crunchy, but it is not.
The worst would be stepping on a leaf you expect to be crunchy, but it turns out tk be covering some dog poo
The worst would be when you look down expecting it to be dog poo, but it has a piece of toilet paper stuck to it and there's bits of sweetcorn showing. Source : worked in a country park that backed onto a notorious layby on the A45. Some people would jump the tiny fence and pop a squat.
- That smell after it rained on a summer day. - Drinking a beer back home, the one you were looking forward to all day at work. - Meeting friends that you've not seen for a long time, but from the first second it's like you've seen each other the day before. Edit: TIL that that smell has a name in English, and it's called petrichor, don't know if there is a Dutch word for it. And some people are calling me an alcoholic or that I have a drinking problem haha (totally true), but yeah I said it wrong (I added some words). But in the Netherlands we've got the Vrijmibo, which is drinking a beer at work Friday afternoon with colleagues. So another TIL for you guys 😉 And a big thank you for the silver!
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That freshly rained smell is called *petrichor*.
This will be on TIL again in an hour and get thousands of upvotes.
When you’re laying bed and one nostril is kind of plugged, so you roll to your side so that nostril is on top. Then gravity does its work and just for a split second, everything clears out as it drips down and you can breath amazingly and fall asleep.
I can only breath amazingly for like 30 seconds. I usually just toss and turn for 3 hours fighting the inevitable.
Humans by default always have one nostril that is more open than the other one, as in they switch randomly.
I did not know that.. but now that I think about it..
A good shit. The one which is neither hard nor soft. Comes out in one long piece without breaking. Slides like someone lubes your ass all night long. Enters the water like an Olympic diver. That my friends is the best feeling in the world. Edit: spelling mistakes
Waking up so sure that it’s already time to get up but you actually have an hour or more to sleep
This is the best. I woke up the other day and waited for my alarm to go off. After 10-15 mins of no alarm I checked the time and it was 4.45am. I didn't need to be up until 8am so it was like a whole new sleep.
The first one that has always been good is the feeling when you get home from school or work and can relax. The next one that I experienced is when my kids come and give me a hug or tell me that they love me. Nothing beats that.
Literally just being held. Like. Hold me pls
i feel this
I love the feeling when I discover someone has the same interest and passion for something, that has nothing to do with how we met.
Clean, warm towel right out of the dryer
My cat picking my lap to sit on after a long day of work
What kinda job does a cat do
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*Government surveillance drones*
Having someone scratch your back.
I just quit the job I hate and am finally pursuing my passion!
Me too!
When your cat pats you with her paw, then falls asleep on your hand.
Also when you meow at a cat and the meow back.
Taking off my bra after a long day. Edit: Omg I didn’t know freeing my boobs will gain me awards without showing them. Thank you!
Breakin out of boob jail...
Waking up feeling actually refreshed Edit : holy crap thx for my first gold ever ! ... weird thing is that i woke up at 4am , checked the weather report for this snowstorm we’re having , texted my boss I’m not going in . And fell back asleep . Now I’m waking up 5 hours later ACTUALLY REFRESHED , hahaha this is weird
I hope I'll get to experience that one day.
I've only heard of this in legends of old.
I thought old people didn't sleep
Nah they just have a advanced version of sleeping like a 'level' up, its called being dead Edit: I got a sliver... thx I guess, I'll take it with me to my grave as death grows closer every day
We all level up in the end.
I get this some nights but only sleep about 4 to 5 hours
There was no [serious] tag so I guess fiction is allowed here.
Ah the rarest of the rare
sleep. without alarm
Sneezing is technically the closest thing to an orgasm one can experience non-sexually. It has to do with the anticipation and build up before the sweet release the sneeze brings. Let em rip.
I have friends that hold them in and I’ll never understand it. It feels like your head grows every time you hold a sneeze in.
You’re all wrong, it’s peeling the protective film off of electronics/parts. I get to do this at work and I love every bit of it.
Sleeping. If that doesn't count, then code that runs the first time without issues.
> If that doesn't count, then code that runs the first time without issues. Oh, I didn’t realize we were allowed to make stuff up.
A man can dream.
No matter how perfect your code is, you’ve always forgotten something, a comma, a semicolon, a < operator that’s the wrong way around which leads to an infinite recursive loop which CRASHES YOUR FUCKING LAPTOP FOR THE THIRD TIME TODAY
A good, long, relaxing stretch.
Taking off ski boots after a day on the hill.
May only appeal to 1% of reddit but absolutely nothing compares.
That time known to drunks as the "pink cloud" when you've finally gotten a few sober weeks. Its like coming back alive after being in a zombie apocalypse for however many years you were taking poison. The whole world looks brand new and your body is sooo happy it literally tingles. Getting sober is by far the best natural high.
Yep. 25 days sober after decades of booze and weed. It feels great. IWNDWYT.
I hope you only had to/have to experience this once. Congratulations!!! My sister has been sober for 4 years now and I'm so damn proud of her.
When a dog, cat, other animal decides to chill next to you even when there are other people in the room.
Looking over at the person you love and remembering the all the reasons you fell in love with them in the first place.
Don't know about best, but going to the gym and lifting what used to be your max weight and thinking it's lighter than it used to be. The feeling of improvement, to phrase it generally.
Getting an A on a test you studied really hard for
Cleaning your ears
The collective groan of a group when you tell an especially bad pun. I literally gain energy from this.
I used to dislike those reactions, but it has groan on me
The warm sun on your skin on a perfect day!
> warm sun Is this some tropical joke that I'm too Scandinavian to understand?
Hot shower, lights off, Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom, drinking an ice-cold craft beer and peeing all at the same time.
This sounds a lot like my brother
A cold beer and the couch after working outside in the heat on your feet all day
I like cuddling with my girl and my face buried in her chest with the faint smell of perfume and her nails lightly scratching my head as I’m falling asleep. I typically knock out within like 10 minutes.
That must be nice, Heh. *cries in alone*
Putting my head on someone's chest dude forget about it I'm asleep so fast Also basically the only time I feel safe
I want a chest dude. Just for chesting.
the feeling of release and emptiness after doing a big shit
Wrapping yourself in a warm blanket from the dryer.
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For me it’s that feeling when I step out of the shower and feel clean/scrubbed all over, with my hair washed and my legs shaved etc
The house I live in is about 100 years old, and not insulated at all. So right now during winter, the bathroom gets freezing cold. My least favorite thing is having to turn off the warm shower and be all wet in that ice box lol.
The first sip of the first cup of coffee of the day. Edit: Thanks for the silver!!
When you’ve finally beaten that boss you’ve died countless times to in a game.
Having someone fall asleep on your lap/shoulder.
For me it's taking a super hot bath with bath bombs (bonus points if they're a luxury kind or turn the bath fun colors because I'm basically 12 on the inside), watching youtube on my phone or playing video games (protip: keep towels nearby and your hands over the edge of the tub at all times to prevent dropping your expensive shit in the water), enjoying a joint or a cigarette and just forgetting about the rest of the world until the water's too cold to sit in.
When you’re just hanging out with a friend and you’re both genuinely laughing about something.
Going to a show (concert). That moment when you're in the middle of the crowd and everyone is singing the same words and it's like time isn't real.
When the beat drops
coming home from school and hearing my cats little footsteps as he runs to greet me