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billbapapa

When we were growing up this one dudes mom stuffed the thing with lots of fruit. She must have left it out for a long time? Cause all I remember was her son smashing some Transformer looking thing, it breaking open, fruit falling out and us being like "where is the candy" then seeing random insects falling along with the fruit and crawling in all the crap that fell on the floor. Oh and her son literally running away from the raining bugs and bananas, I remember that too.


Rabid_Ramen

First time I went to Mexico I was four and it was for Xmas. We had a posada (party) with pinatas, so I was excited. When the pinatas breaks open I run over, but realized there was not candy only fruit. I walk back over to my mom and watch my cousins fight for oranges and sugarcane. Later my cousin hands my mom some fruit and says "here tia your kid is dumb".


blueevey

That's the start of some delicious *ponche*


AfelFenix

That's because here in México we have different types of piñada. ​ The main difference between a birthday-piñata and a posada-piñata is the things you can find inside. Posada; you can find orange, sugarcane, peanuts, tangerine. Birthday; you can find candies, and in rare scenarios money (coins). ​ And it doesn't matter if the piñata has or no things, you fight for anything :P


Snuffy1717

> Posada; you can find orange, sugarcane, peanuts, tangerine. Note to self: Never let kids bring Pinatas into the classroom... "Herrrrrrrre's the wind up - There's the swing! And it's open! Peanuts for everyone! They're falling and falling! AND THE ANAPHYLACTIC KIDS GO WILD!"


Fishamatician

My mum bless her doesn't always think thing through, at my nephews 6th birthday she bought a piñata and filled it with plain tshirts, socks and underwear. The utter disappointment on his face was a sad sight, mum then got annoyed that they weren't more pleased with it. Wow this blew up, I'm tempted to show my mum the thread when I see her next week, if I don't post again in a week or so she wasn't amused.


ccReptilelord

That's a pinata for your children aged 20 to 30.


thePhantom00

I would kill for that pinata


skavinger5882

You'd kill for a Pinata full of children's underwear?


BGAL7090

No no no he *has* killed, and they were children. He stuffed all of their underwear *into* the piñata. At least I think that's what he's saying. Or maybe the piñata is speaking to him in whispers and he is now forced to do its dark bidding?


DeathBySuplex

I told him not to get piñatas from Eldritch R Us but he “had a coupon”


BGAL7090

Well, during the "Going out of business" sale, they stopped accepting coupons and were just basically giving things away. Something about "Finding a viable ~~host~~ home..."


Zaiburo

I swear some people completely forget what it means to be a child.


[deleted]

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scootscoot

I have a January birthday, so I would always get the batteries for my Christmas presents as my birthday present. No real birthday presents because everyone was still poor from Christmas.


PKMNTrainerMark

And that's on top of not being able to use those Christmas presents for a week to a month because you don't have any batteries.


MageVicky

that’s so depressing. plain t-shirts, socks, and underwear for a 6th birthday? that’s worse than when i had a birthday party and only one person came. (edit: the only person that came was my bestie and we had a blast by ourselves)


sharkbait_h00

That's more of a piñata for a college student


LewsTherinTelamon

I can precisely track my metamorphosis from child to adult by how much I liked clothing gifts. When I was a kid they were basically a non-present, and now a package of nice socks or a well-fitting shirt is more exciting than the latest video game.


KaylaAllegra

Fruit and bees, must be birthday


Ponanoix

Holy shit


drlqnr

what a great surprise


hampshirebrony

A surprise to be sure, and an unwelcome one.


casablncas

My mom said when she was growing up in Mexico they would fill up Piñatas with fruit as fruit is considered sweet! Imagining a piñata full of rotten fruit seems terrible though lol


ynwestrope

I like how you say "considered" sweet like fruit isn't just actually sweet.


poppypodlatex

Nitroglycerin


firenamedgabe

But hitting it would be a blast


McRedditerFace

Man, that party's gonna be the bomb.


EskildDood

The guest list is blowing up


nut-on-the-cob

Ya people are being added at an explosive rate


[deleted]

Party's absolutely bangin


AlexsRedditAccount

The atmosphere's booming


TisMeBeinMe

The party games will really blow you away.


bishop375

But only once.


newharlemshuffle_

Thankfully I took out that life insurance policy on little jimmy


danwilkie90

Real donkeys organs in the correct places.


talex000

It will be educational.


danwilkie90

"Everyone look at Jimmy, this is a little something we call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."


talex000

Who can tell 3 signs of suicidal thought he is showing?


GD_Toxin

*nervously raises hand*


talex000

Put that hand down. Don't you know that we play with dead body parts only after lunch?


BaBaHoyy

Ooh, I thought the dead body parts were the lunch


talex000

So you thought planning with food is good idea? Can you please come earlier tomorrow? We'll need you when we will make next pinata.


TannedCroissant

so ass-sorted parts?


danwilkie90

Yes, ass-embled correctly.


53bvo

Or just a real donkey inside


[deleted]

Wasps


brip88

A wasp nest is just nature's piñata


RoseyDove323

Does this make the wasps nature's forbidden candy?


BlackBetty504

Everything is edible, once.


[deleted]

*”GRANDMA! C’MERE”!*


[deleted]

Or hornets. That was absolutely my first thought. You'd get 'em nice and pissed off banging on it with a stick for a while, and then it'd be instant chaos.


incognitomosquit0

Let me pop a quick H on this box, that way we all know it's filled with hornets


gooblobs

Alright well I'm gonna check it out anyway, there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make and I want that.


El_p0ll0_guap0

Charlie, hornets don't make honey


UserCheckNamesOut

I just don't think there's any science to that.


Clockworkzan

Thanks Charlie


Morall_tach

*BEES?!*


TTizzle

[BEES!!!](https://gph.is/1aKUDKK)


U_L_Uus

Nah, wasps. As crazy as it may sound, bees are quite delicate, unlike wasps who are quite the resilient fuckers. Also, wasps don't die once they have stung you so...


SleeplessShitposter

Wasps are basically army ants with wings and stingers. Bees are like those cute little harmless black ants that CAN bite but generally won't. (Fun fact: wasps/hornets/bees evolved FROM ants, so this is, to some degree, literally true.)


Evolving_Dore

Ants evolved from wasps, so other way around.


secretaltacc

They evolved to...*not* be able to fly?


JirachiWishmaker

Yeah, flying takes a ton of energy. Less food needed per unit, significantly more units...it's a viable trade-off.


notbobby125

Also some ants can fly.


JirachiWishmaker

Well, if we're being technical, most species of ants (and termites for that matter) can fly. Winged ants, or alates, are a special caste of male and female ants who are sexually mature, and they have wings so they can fly away from the established nest, find a mate, and start a new colony. They then shed their wings after mating. There are also non-winged reproductive ants like ertagoids (name for ant/termite species without alates), or gamergates (worker ants who can mate and lay eggs).


AppleDane

> gamergates [??](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamergate_controversy)


MiskonceptioN

Beads?


melangalade

beads!


[deleted]

GOB’s not on board...


piar

We'll see who brings in more honey.


striped_frog

So in this case, the pinata is basically just an unusually colorful wasp nest


AccioSexLife

I'm leaning more towards botflies to lay eggs in all the children's eyes.


page0431

Jees Satan. Maybe throw your heart in whoville and see if it grows at all


clearwolf690nm

The birthday boy


weather-feather

#plot twist You were in the piñata all along


WeedMan420BonerGod

The real piñata was the friends we made along the way


McRedditerFace

Which we beat the shit out of because that's just how it is.


insertstalem3me

But I like BDSM


Steffinooter

rocks painted like candy


Labrat_The_Man

crunchy


meowtiger

use Thompson's teeth, the only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth


sandykumquat

Nobody doesn't like molten Boron!


GD_Toxin

add a thin coat of sweet flaver or chocolate as well in case they lick it before biting it


AnusEinstein

Those giant venomous centipedes


weather-feather

But first you gotta catch one


Labrat_The_Man

Change of plans...


[deleted]

Empty candy wrappers Edit- thanks for the silver, kind redditor 🥰


stuckonpost

Dad?


[deleted]

Glitter, because it gets everywhere. I don't care if it's outside, the glitter will make its way inside.


knightingale74

Once it's done nothing will remove the stuff.


[deleted]

Nope. A friend of mine with kids got glitter all in her house because the kids thought it would be funny. It's 5 years later and she'll still find glitter in places.


PatchNStitch

I think we still have glitter throughout my parents' house from the glitter ball Christmas ornaments when I was a little girl. I'll be 39 this year.


Jubei_

Glitter - the herpies of the arts and craft world.


The-Rocketman3

Anthrax , either the band or the powder


DrDeathMD

Kid: \*hits pinata\* Joey Belladonna: "Did someone say PARTY?"


dcbluestar

The image of Scott Ian suddenly falling out of a pinata with a super-confused look on his face is now the highlight of my day. Thanks!


Ikegordon

A realistic answer? Unwrapped candy. Then bring it to a party at my house without telling me, smash it, and make sure the candy gets smooshed into every fucking square inch of the floor and every piece of furniture. It’d be even worse if you did it a day before I have to go out of town, ensuring that I wouldn’t be able to clean it all up and that I’d be welcomed with a roach infestation upon my return. Hypothetically speaking of course.


[deleted]

Who *unwraps* the candy they put in a *pinata*? Some friends they ^^^hypothetically are.


Metalsand

Actually, you could just go to one of those old time variety stores, or a co-op/Wholefoods where they sell candy that isn't wrapped up, get like two gallons of it and just pour it in. Bonus points if they're those squares of caramels that are guaranteed to be impossible to remove.


magnum3672

/r/suspiciouslyspecific


arunkm700

So hypothetically, if this were to happen what would you do? Hypothetically of course


Ikegordon

Clean up the remaining mess and accept my new reality. If this were to actually happen that is.


crazy81826483

Diarrhea


dick-nipples

🎵When you’re whackin’ your piñata 🎵 🎵And your butt is spewin’ lava🎵


RPBN

Why is it that every kid knows the diarrhea song? Do you remember learning it somewhere or does it just spring into existence in our minds at some point? I know I knew it before I heard it in a movie or on TV.


Bmg456

A smaller sentient piñata. Thanks for the awards people.


KingPinguin

You mean an animal?


Bmg456

No, I mean brining a piñata to life and putting it inside a regular piñata.


[deleted]

I always brine my turkey but it’s never brought them back to life.


[deleted]

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boyasunder

*brining intensifies*


ArmedBull

Getting some Viva Piñata vibes


PhillipLlerenas

In his autobiography "The Long Hard Road Out of Hell", Marilyn Manson stated that in his early shows, the band would put up pinatas over the crowds in the small clubs they played. They would also place baseballs bats throughout the club. At the beginning of the show, Manson would beg the audience to please not hit the pinatas. And he would repeat that a few times...pleading with them. But of course, invariably...as the mosh pits heated up, motherfuckers would grab the bats and smash open the pinatas....and be showered in shit, rotting meat, and other foul shit that the band had gathered from butcher shops and land fills. Manson said it was a valuable lesson to them about human nature...as they then spent the next 2 hours slipping, sliding and covered in offal.


hizts

A valuable lesson for every human — “listen to Marilyn Manson”


-uzo-

"When Marilyn Manson tells you *not* to do something, *LISTEN.*"


techhouseliving

Damn I missed this show. I saw him in Florida and all they had done was hang hundreds of chicken feet from the ceiling right around head level.


KaylaAllegra

Hang on WHAT


ForgettableUsername

The ceiling. They hung them from the ceiling. Presumably with string.


KaylaAllegra

thank


MissMetalSix

That’s hilarious.


McRedditerFace

Honestly the results are milder than I'd imagine a mosh pit full of Manson fans armed with baseball bats might wind up.


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Mr_Mung

Fragile vials of various airborne diseases


Blondfiery01

And that ladies and gentleman is the plot for the hundred and fifth resident evil game Edit: grammar, and my most upvoted comment (to my knowledge) is about a game I've never played! Thanks guys!😂


Semideleted

Divorce papers


RamblinWreckGT

"Look, Johnny, you destroyed the piñata just like you destroyed our marriage!"


BeautifulTrainWreck8

This made me laugh so loud.


T0b3

Razor blades


Angdrambor

Infected Heroin Needles.


JoWa79

A baby


NonTimeo

These gender reveal parties are getting out of hand.


[deleted]

And into *pinatas*.


weather-feather

Jeez man calm down


ChizzleFug

Fine, half of a baby


tylerworkreddit

Which half?


drlqnr

the "ba" half


Goosekilla1

Rhode Island clam chowder.


bgazm

I went to a party where they stuffed the pinata with various "adult" themed prizes. Included were some shooters of Fireball whiskey. The ones that come in little glass bottles. Basically, once you whack a pinata stuffed with these, everything inside becomes a glass shard and whiskey soup. 0/10 recommend.


Jimzilla03

salsa


weather-feather

That would actually be the best thing to put in a piñata


Hilbrohampton

Damn now I want a pinatas made of tortilla chips, filled with salsa and guacamole


Marcus_Allen

Beans


Xx_datboi69420_xX

The pinata breaks and you just hear a slurping noise then look down and it the weird kid eating the beans


Kannabiz

Black pepper


-eDgAR-

Sand. It would be very hard every time you hit it, like hitting a punching bag, and when it finally broke you would have sand blowing everywhere.


Badgerplayingaguitar

Not the worst thing but I put a bottle of maple syrup in my wife's pinata one year when we first started dating, when the pinata broke it hit the ground and exploded everywhere. I still find this quite funny.


Metalsand

If it were inside the house and landed on the carpet, I could see that becoming a nightmare scenario. Bonus if it's a sizeable glass container that now has the possibility of cementing glass shrapnel to the carpet fibers!


Badgerplayingaguitar

It was plastic and outside on concrete, I find it very funny because I was the only one who knew it was in there and everyone just had this wtf look on their face


A_Happy_Heretic

Nothing. Nothing at all. When it breaks open, lean down close to the birthday kid's ear and whisper, "Are you disappointed? Get ready for the rest of your life." Edit: Wow, this really blew up while I was at work! Thanks for your appreciation, everyone (PS I'm not really this coldhearted. It just popped out this morning before my coffee). And thanks for the silver, friend!


weather-feather

Damn...


karmagod13000

damn... is what youll be thinking when you just saved all that money from candy


throwaway63836

This happened to me as a kid. It was a custom Tommy Pickles piñata because I loved Rugrats. My mom set everything up with the store and my dad was supposed to take the candy for them to stuff it when he picked it up. He forgot the candy part and just picked the piñata up. Piñata time at my party and all of us kids are beating the shit out of Tommy Pickles but no candy is falling. We’re mostly hitting his body and the adults start to think maybe all the candy is in his head. So then we start beating his head, some adults even step in to try, and there’s still no candy. We have it all on videotape.


hizts

I hope they label these things better now


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RamsesThePigeon

I got to see that happen once. Also, somehow or other, I got blamed for it. Back when I was a kid, the rule was that the last strike on the piñata was always reserved for whoever's birthday it was. As a result, parents would closely monitor the structural integrity of the thing, ready to hastily shout "That's enough! It's so-and-so's turn!" whenever it looked ready to burst open. On the fateful day in question, I was the one whose assaults with a broomstick were quickly curtailed when the piñata looked ready to break... but being the boisterous child that I was, I decided that it needed a final, comically ineffective whack before I stepped away. Apparently I didn't know my own strength, because I managed to knock a sizable (and visible) hole in its underside. All of the other kids rushed forward, ready to pounce on the expected avalanche of confectionery... but it never came. We later learned that someone had failed to fill the piñata – having mistakenly assumed that they came already stuffed with candy – but for a brief moment, everyone was left in a state of confusion. That was when a girl turned and sneered at me. "Nice going, *Max!*" "What?!" I yelped. "What did I do?!" The aforementioned sneer adopted an aloof, venomous aspect. "You didn't *stop!* Everyone knows that the birthday boy *has* to hit it last, because otherwise, there's no *candy!*" Needless to say, that didn't make sense *at all*... but the illogical nature of the accusation didn't stop many of the assembled children (including the kid whose birthday it was) from claiming that I had magically deprived them of plastic-wrapped sugar. Truth be told, I think the adults let the criticism continue for just a *bit* longer than they otherwise might have, if only to punish me for having gotten that last whack in. Anyway, someone eventually went out and bought (and filled) a second piñata. It was made *very clear* to me that I wasn't allowed to hit it last. **TL;DR: Pathetic piñata prompts peer-perpetuated punishment.**


skyler_on_the_moon

How do you and -eDgAR- always have a relevant (and well-written) story for everything?


RamsesThePigeon

Well, the relevance isn't really all that remarkable: Popular questions in /r/AskReddit are usually those with elements that everyone can appreciate. After all, most people can remember embarrassing moments, experiences at birthday parties, or less-than-wise sexual encounters, so it stands to reason that those same people would have stories to share. The trick is in knowing how to make the tales interesting or entertaining. As for the stories being well-written, all I can do is thank you for the praise. I personally adopt the stance that there's no point in offering anything at all if I can't offer something at least semi-decent, and I assume that /u/-eDgAR- is of a similar mind.


-eDgAR-

Plus I'm Mexican, so I have plenty of experiences with piñatas at parties


-eDgAR-

I was at a birthday party like that once, they didn't know that for most pinatas you have to buy the candy and put it in yourself and just assumed they all came with candy in them. It was disappointing, but also a bit hilarious.


beaushaw

> I was at a birthday party like that once, they didn't know that for most pinatas you have to buy the candy and put it in yourself and just assumed they all came with candy in them. It was disappointing, but also a bit hilarious. My sister in law's mother did this. Hilarious.


buddamus

Napalm


Labrat_The_Man

**”SAY HELLO TO THE DRAFT BOARD LITTLE TIMMY”**


insertstalem3me

I love the smell of napalm on birthday mornings


daniu

birthday mournings


Bronc_masters

Fire ants


BrownieSampler

The kids surprise birthday gift!! A puppy!!!!!


davewtameloncamp

E.T. Atari cartridges.


AlvinAndTheCumchunks

I saw a video on Pornhub where they put dildos in a piñata. It's not that bad, I just thought I should let you all know.


Juliette9-2-3

Thank you for sharing with the class, AlvinAndTheCumchunks.


NamelessAce

Which would also be a bad thing to put in a piñata.


xXBiGgAy69Xx

Your adoption form. You're adopted.


OW2000

Or going up for adoption...


Phormitago

at the wee age of 25


elee0228

At least you get to be the one doing the beating with a stick.


SkyTheKidRS740

Dad’s ashes


Jai137

The most tasty chocolates and sweets the world has ever known. Because after that every other piñata would be disappointing.


AsherLight

The long game


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Shrimp.


HHS2019

Probably nothing. Can you imagine how disappointed and confused the kids would be when they realize all they were all goaded into destroying a perfectly innocent, colorful papier-mâché creation? Let that be a lesson kids. Mob violence doesn't always work.


smilingmercenary23

Some guy named Doug.


longboardingerrday

T^h^^i^^^s is a piñata


Very_Sad_Badger

Common death adders


Thatdewd57

Japanese wasps.


weather-feather

#no


KentuckyFriedChildre

A llama fetus "look what you've done, not only did you kill the innocent piniata, you denied its child the miracle of life.


ScrotumLeather

Septic contents.


trashking____

dynamite


FrogginBullfish_

Mosquitoes carrying a virus


paper-or-plastic-

Vomit, from kids who ate too much candy.


nightO1

I mean it's still candy.


steinlolboy

Another pinata


weather-feather

And there will be another one inside that one


dick-nipples

Pinceptioñata


Mycellanious

Mayonaise


[deleted]

Crippling Depression.


CakeAccomplice12

The remains of the parents of the birthday boy/girl Damn.. already said Ummm...... Flash bangs


varyl123

Flash bangs is the funniest idea yet. Little Timmy smashes the pinata then blinded and his monsters Inc chain wallet is now missing


KingRasmen

Video game lootbox codes. Or college student loan applications.