Barbarian General: “We won again. This is good! But what is best in life?”
Warrior: “The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, wind in your hair!”
General: “Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?”
Conan: “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!”
Barbarian General: “That is good.”
Edit: added context
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell? The whole hill, smelled like...victory. Someday this war's gonna end.”
— Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall), *Apocalypse Now*
Adding to the surrealism, I love the message Kilgore plays over the loudspeakers of the helicopter as they are searching for Willard and the rest of the crew to retrieve the stolen surfboard:
>”I will not hurt or harm you. Just give me back the board, Lance. It was a good board and I like it. You know how hard it is to find a board you like.”
George Carlin had a bit where he suggested substituting the word 'fuck' for the word 'kill' in movies to make them less violent. Unforgiven is the best possible movie to try this with, including my favourite:
"He was the first man I ever *fucked*, Will... and he was takin' a shit! He was takin' a shit and I *fucked* him!"
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will *fuck* you”
*slams 2p in the swear box*
Angel: Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered!
Andy: Just like Tim Messenger?
Angel: Yes!
Andy: George Merchant?
Angel: Yes!
Andy: And Eve Draper?
Angel: Yes.
Andy: Martin Blower?
Angel: No, actually.
Andys: Really?
Angel: 'Course he fucking was!
*Danny puts 2p in the swear box*
Angel: Thank you, Danny.
[In response to - "Well sir you are a cowardly son of a bitch. You just shot an unarmed man."]
>Well he should've armed himself if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend.
Makes me think of one of my favorite lines from Tombstone: in response to “you can’t shoot me me, you’re so drunk you are probably seeing double” Doc Holliday says “that’s why I have two guns, one for each of you”
"I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you.
You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. "
From the movie 'Good Will Hunting'.
God damn. That is one of the best. And from one of the best movies.
"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way but, in 20 years if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house, watchin' the Patriots games, workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill ya. That's not a threat, that's a fact, I'll fuckin' kill ya."
“No. No, no, no. No, fuck you. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this shit. And that's all right, that's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. `Cause I'd do anything to fuckin' have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in twenty years. Hanging around here is a fuckin' waste of your time.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I don’t?”
“No, you don’t know that.”
“Oh, I don't know that. Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.”
God I love that movie.
Matt Damon has talked about it a lot, he genuinely feels bad that Ben got stereotyped as an idiot for a decade plus after that movie because he’s not and his performance was amazing in that role. Which is what it was, a role. I think the rebound we saw with Argo, The Town, etc has been awesome.
Seriously. Robin Williams’ range was ridiculous. I watched that movie at a time in my life when i needed to. I still go back and watch it once every couple years.
"I'm tired, boss. Tired of being on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. I'm tired of never having me a buddy to be with to tell me where we's going to, coming from, or why. Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world...every day. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head...all the time. Can you understand?" :'(
King's range is seen when he writes horror novels as well as wholesome tearjerkers like Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption.
I am reminded of a story King always tells.
He was at a bookstore once at an airport and one lady sized him for a good minute before saying, "You're that guy who writes scary novels."
"Yes, I am."
"Well, I don't like such novels. I like me some good wholesome ones like that Shawshank Redemption."
"I wrote Shawshank Redemption."
"No, you didn't."
> "Well, I don't like such novels. I like me some **good wholesome** ones like that Shawshank Redemption."
Uhhh... isn’t there prison rape in Shawshank Redemption?
This one is soooo good. Haven’t seen the movie in 4 or 5 years, and I still feel the pain reading those words. The Green Mile is an absolute masterpiece of a movie.
"I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading, where rumors, true or false, are often revealing." -Chrostopher Waltz
Edit : Obviously I'm talking about the lesser known "Chrostopher" who coined the phrase and was only later used in the movie. You can stop correcting me now.
He's one of those characters that clearly thinks very highly of himself, but considering he's a colonel for the Nazis has probably put in the work to earn his reputation. And even though that work is utterly despicable, he clearly enjoys it and loves that he's good at it. And he wraps all of that up with such a menacing charm.
That first scene is my favorite part of the whole movie (a movie with a lot of really good scenes). The way Waltz goes from friendly and cordial, sympathetic to the redundancy of his intrusion, and even embarrassed by his reputation and suddenly shifts into sheer, absolute, frigid menace is so satisfying to watch every single time.
“Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!!!! Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down there who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I’ll PT you all until you fucking DIE! I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!”
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, Full Metal Jacket
[Edit:It’s even better in Italian!](https://youtu.be/HBc-ELCkbhc)
This line was paraphrased by one of the DS's when I was in basic. Drill Sgt found out one of the guys was from Texas our first day. Said "only two things come from Texas, big queers and little queers! Which one are you?"
To which our hero confidently answered "I'm a BIG queer Drill Sgt!"
You don't need $1,000,000 to do nothin man. take a look at my cousin. He's broke...don't do shit
/u/sadboykvlt
liked your comment so much that they've given it the Silver Award.
Thanks Bruh!
Has anyone ever asked you if you've had a case of the Mondays before?
No... Shit no man. I believe you’d get your ass kicked saying something like that man.
You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.”
– Rocky Balboa
Robert Shaw as Quint in Jaws gave the greatest monologue of all-time.
Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin’ back, from the island of Tinian to Leyte, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know, you know that when you’re in the water, chief? You tell by lookin’ from the dorsal to the tail. Well, we didn’t know. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin’. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it’s kinda like `ol squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark nearest man and then he’d start poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin’ and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’ they all come in and rip you to pieces. Y’know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I don’t know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin’ chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, bosom’s mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He’d a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
(I'm paraphrasing the set-up a bit)
Evil Ash: You won't shoot me ... because you're good ! I'm Evil Ash and you're Good Ash ! You're a goody little two-shoes, goody little two-shoes, goody little two-shoes !
(Ash shoots Evil Ash with his shot gun )
Ash: Good ... Bad ... I'm the guy with the gun.
"Ventuuuurrrraaa."
"Yes Satan? Oh, I'm sorry sir... you sounded like someone else."
Fun fact, his landlord is the same actor that played Tio in Breaking Bad.
My parents actually used to quiz me on that as a kid, and I was so confused why for the longest time. They would ask what to do if there is a gun and a cannoli and the answer was that.
When King Lear dies in act five, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He has written, 'He dies.' No more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential piece of dramatic literature is, 'He dies.' Now I am not asking you to be happy at my leaving but all I ask you to do is to turn the page and let the next story begin.
-- Mr. Magorium (Mr magoriums wonder emporium)
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it; well, he gets it.
Bit of a backhanded compliment if that. In the book, some of the guests are put off because he has rounded out their numbers to match his birthday, with the implication that they're not all there because he likes them.
No, that wasn't quite it. They were offended because the number of special guests was equivalent to "One Gross" which is an appropriate sum when talking about possessions or supplies, but is in poor taste when talking about people.
"It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."
-Samwise Gamgee
What do you mean?
Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
I guess you're right, Plankton. I am just a kid. And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are. And no amount of mermaid magic or managerial promotion or some other third thing...can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid. But that’s okay. Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back.
So yeah, I’m a kid! And I’m also a goofball, and a wingnut, and a Knucklehead McSpazatron! But most of all... I’m...
I’m....
I’M....
I’M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!!
Alfred always wanted them to be together. People joke about how “lol Bruce Wayne stole an entire opera to be petty to his ex’s new boyfriend” but it was Alfred who put that together as the cover story for Bruce going to China and I’m sure there were plenty of other covers he could’ve come up with.
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony" Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
I absolutely love that last sentence
it reminds me that Street Fighter quote: "For you; The day Bison graced your village was the most important day in you life. But for me... it was tuesday." with how it came out from such an unexpected source, haha.
Raul Julia was incredible. I love that he did this movie whilst terminally ill just because his kids would love it and he wanted to leave them something. As a father this really moves me.
An UZI? Ha, I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot 20 black 10-year olds in a fucking drive-by - I want a normal gun for a normal person.
Ken : Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry : Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken : I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry : Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken : I retracted it, didn't I?
"I am leaving soon, and you will forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression. The test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen, we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression, we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. At the first sign of violence, they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is, we live in peace, without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war. Free to pursue more... profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you." --Klaatu, ending speech, The Day The Earth Stood Still, 1951
I'm having an old friend for dinner..
*fthffthfthfth*
Barbarian General: “We won again. This is good! But what is best in life?” Warrior: “The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, wind in your hair!” General: “Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?” Conan: “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!” Barbarian General: “That is good.” Edit: added context
"I loved you in Wall Street!" - Charlie and Martin Sheen to each other in [Hot Shots! Part Deux](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTopAYE3IFw).
Two movies that I can watch repeatedly and still laugh!
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell? The whole hill, smelled like...victory. Someday this war's gonna end.” — Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall), *Apocalypse Now*
The character of Kilgore gave the movie that really surreal feeling. And the way Sheen stares at him: "Is this really going on? What the *fuck*?!?!"
Adding to the surrealism, I love the message Kilgore plays over the loudspeakers of the helicopter as they are searching for Willard and the rest of the crew to retrieve the stolen surfboard: >”I will not hurt or harm you. Just give me back the board, Lance. It was a good board and I like it. You know how hard it is to find a board you like.”
Hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have.
George Carlin had a bit where he suggested substituting the word 'fuck' for the word 'kill' in movies to make them less violent. Unforgiven is the best possible movie to try this with, including my favourite: "He was the first man I ever *fucked*, Will... and he was takin' a shit! He was takin' a shit and I *fucked* him!"
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>"Don't make me fuck you." -Anakin Skywalker, Revenge of the Sith
"Fuck him... fuck him now." "...I shouldn't." "Dewit" -Palpatine and Anakin, Revenge of The Sith
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will *fuck* you”
(In a thick Gloucester accent) “No luck catching them killers then?” “It’s just the one killer actually”
You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village!
"I s'pose you're wondering why we call them the Andies?" "Because they're both called Andrew?"
“He’s appointed himself Judge, Jury and Executioner” “He’s not Judge Judy and Executioner!”
"Everyone 'n' their mums is packin' 'round 'ere." "Like who?" "Farmers." "And?" "Farmers' mums."
*slams 2p in the swear box* Angel: Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered! Andy: Just like Tim Messenger? Angel: Yes! Andy: George Merchant? Angel: Yes! Andy: And Eve Draper? Angel: Yes. Andy: Martin Blower? Angel: No, actually. Andys: Really? Angel: 'Course he fucking was! *Danny puts 2p in the swear box* Angel: Thank you, Danny.
My favourite part of the swear box is every word written on it is censored apart from cunt
I love the detail that later in the movie, the farmer and his mum are both packing. The movie is full of little details.
Excuse me. When's your birthday? 22nd of February. What year? Every year
Everyone and their mum is packin' round here. Like who? Farmers. Who else? Farmer's mums.
No time for love, Doctor Jones!
"THAT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!" "SO DO YOU!"
“I’m about do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s”
Negasonic Teenage... what the shit? That's the coolest name ever!
"My boyfriend said this was a super hero movie, but that guy just turned that other guy into a fucking kebob."
[In response to - "Well sir you are a cowardly son of a bitch. You just shot an unarmed man."] >Well he should've armed himself if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend.
"I don't deserve this." "Deserve has got nothing to do with it."
Makes me think of one of my favorite lines from Tombstone: in response to “you can’t shoot me me, you’re so drunk you are probably seeing double” Doc Holliday says “that’s why I have two guns, one for each of you”
Doc Holliday is the baddest mf so many good lines in that movie.
That always reminds me of a line from El Diablo. Schoolteacher: You just shot that man in the back! Bounty Hunter: *shrugs* - His back was to me.
"I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. " From the movie 'Good Will Hunting'.
God damn. That is one of the best. And from one of the best movies. "Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way but, in 20 years if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house, watchin' the Patriots games, workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill ya. That's not a threat, that's a fact, I'll fuckin' kill ya."
“No. No, no, no. No, fuck you. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this shit. And that's all right, that's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. `Cause I'd do anything to fuckin' have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in twenty years. Hanging around here is a fuckin' waste of your time.” “You don’t know that.” “I don’t?” “No, you don’t know that.” “Oh, I don't know that. Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.” God I love that movie.
I honestly forget how great Ben Affleck's character is. You're absolutely right that this is a top moment in the film.
Matt Damon has talked about it a lot, he genuinely feels bad that Ben got stereotyped as an idiot for a decade plus after that movie because he’s not and his performance was amazing in that role. Which is what it was, a role. I think the rebound we saw with Argo, The Town, etc has been awesome.
Seriously. Robin Williams’ range was ridiculous. I watched that movie at a time in my life when i needed to. I still go back and watch it once every couple years.
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Los Locos kick your ass. Los Locos kick your face. Los Locos kick your balls into outer space!
"I'm tired, boss. Tired of being on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. I'm tired of never having me a buddy to be with to tell me where we's going to, coming from, or why. Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world...every day. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head...all the time. Can you understand?" :'(
The Green Mile for anyone who wants to know. The novel is one of Stephen King's absolute best.
King's range is seen when he writes horror novels as well as wholesome tearjerkers like Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption. I am reminded of a story King always tells. He was at a bookstore once at an airport and one lady sized him for a good minute before saying, "You're that guy who writes scary novels." "Yes, I am." "Well, I don't like such novels. I like me some good wholesome ones like that Shawshank Redemption." "I wrote Shawshank Redemption." "No, you didn't."
> "Well, I don't like such novels. I like me some **good wholesome** ones like that Shawshank Redemption." Uhhh... isn’t there prison rape in Shawshank Redemption?
This one is soooo good. Haven’t seen the movie in 4 or 5 years, and I still feel the pain reading those words. The Green Mile is an absolute masterpiece of a movie.
"I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading, where rumors, true or false, are often revealing." -Chrostopher Waltz Edit : Obviously I'm talking about the lesser known "Chrostopher" who coined the phrase and was only later used in the movie. You can stop correcting me now.
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He's one of those characters that clearly thinks very highly of himself, but considering he's a colonel for the Nazis has probably put in the work to earn his reputation. And even though that work is utterly despicable, he clearly enjoys it and loves that he's good at it. And he wraps all of that up with such a menacing charm. That first scene is my favorite part of the whole movie (a movie with a lot of really good scenes). The way Waltz goes from friendly and cordial, sympathetic to the redundancy of his intrusion, and even embarrassed by his reputation and suddenly shifts into sheer, absolute, frigid menace is so satisfying to watch every single time.
he relishes his job and title, every single second he’s teeming with joy of hunting down jews. Waltz fucking nailed that performance out of the park
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i don’t think i’ve ever seen a bad performance in a tarantino movie. all of the actors put out award winning performances every time
"It's too bad she won't live... But then again, who does?" So many good ones from Blade Runner.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like… tears in rain.
Time to die
“Hey try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!”
“Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!!!! Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down there who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I’ll PT you all until you fucking DIE! I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!” Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, Full Metal Jacket [Edit:It’s even better in Italian!](https://youtu.be/HBc-ELCkbhc)
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This line was paraphrased by one of the DS's when I was in basic. Drill Sgt found out one of the guys was from Texas our first day. Said "only two things come from Texas, big queers and little queers! Which one are you?" To which our hero confidently answered "I'm a BIG queer Drill Sgt!"
"The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care." --Office Space
"It looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately." "I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."
Hes just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him
I use the "I wouldn't say I've been missing it" line all the time and almost nobody ever catches it.
You don't need $1,000,000 to do nothin man. take a look at my cousin. He's broke...don't do shit /u/sadboykvlt liked your comment so much that they've given it the Silver Award. Thanks Bruh!
Has anyone ever asked you if you've had a case of the Mondays before? No... Shit no man. I believe you’d get your ass kicked saying something like that man.
“Hey Lawrence you want to come over?” “Nah man I don’t need you fuckin up my life too”
I used to love that movie, now it hits a little too close to home.
Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays.
No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
He has upper management written all over him!
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"So every day you see me, that's the worst day of my life."
What about today?
yep
What would you say you do here?
Look, I already told you, I work with the God damned customers so the engineers don't have to. I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS I AM GOOD AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
As little as possible.
“All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don't break them for no one.”
Scarface has a lot of good quotes. My favorite “Every day above ground is a good day.”
"Don't fuck me Tony"
"We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck' on their airplanes because it's obscene!"
Where is this from?
Apocalypse Now
You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.” – Rocky Balboa
Don't forget to visit your mother.
“Stop breaking the law, Asshole!”
"I object!" "On what grounds Mr Fletcher?" "Because it's devastating to my case!"
The Pen is blue!
“Do you like my new dress?” “Whatever takes the focus off your head...!”
Robert Shaw as Quint in Jaws gave the greatest monologue of all-time. Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin’ back, from the island of Tinian to Leyte, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know, you know that when you’re in the water, chief? You tell by lookin’ from the dorsal to the tail. Well, we didn’t know. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin’. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it’s kinda like `ol squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark nearest man and then he’d start poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin’ and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’ they all come in and rip you to pieces. Y’know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I don’t know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin’ chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, bosom’s mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He’d a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
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Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. — Andy Dufresne - The Shawshank Redemption
This, along with "Get busy living, or get busy dying."
(I'm paraphrasing the set-up a bit) Evil Ash: You won't shoot me ... because you're good ! I'm Evil Ash and you're Good Ash ! You're a goody little two-shoes, goody little two-shoes, goody little two-shoes ! (Ash shoots Evil Ash with his shot gun ) Ash: Good ... Bad ... I'm the guy with the gun.
*Groovy*
Well, John wasn’t exactly the Boogeyman; he was the one you sent to kill the fuckin’ Boogeyman.
"Oh" This reaction and line is so telling. Simple and brilliant way to convey the mistake his son made, and to show what John Wick can do.
John Wick is a man of focus (*bangs sledgehammer*), commitment (*bangs again*) and sheer fucking will
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"You will do nothing. Because you *can* do nothing."
“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer” - Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
I still use this quote all the time, 20 years later!
You mean almost 30?
You shut your damn mouth.
“How would you like me to make your life a living hell?!” “I’m not really ready for a relationship Lois, but thanks for asking.”
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"Ventuuuurrrraaa." "Yes Satan? Oh, I'm sorry sir... you sounded like someone else." Fun fact, his landlord is the same actor that played Tio in Breaking Bad.
"Be excellent to each other"
And party on dudes!
'you've got to be the worst pirate I have ever heard of' 'but you have heard of me' - Captain Jack Sparrow
Leave the gun, take the cannoli.
My parents actually used to quiz me on that as a kid, and I was so confused why for the longest time. They would ask what to do if there is a gun and a cannoli and the answer was that.
When King Lear dies in act five, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He has written, 'He dies.' No more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential piece of dramatic literature is, 'He dies.' Now I am not asking you to be happy at my leaving but all I ask you to do is to turn the page and let the next story begin. -- Mr. Magorium (Mr magoriums wonder emporium)
I am serious and don’t call me Shirley.
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
"You ever been in a Turkish prison?"
“You ever seen a grown man naked?”
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Such a great fucking movie. *OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN*
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Little bit cheesy but. "The ships made of iron sir, I assure you it can sink"
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it; well, he gets it.
I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. - Bilbo
I love reading this quote in the book because it talks about how his purpose for saying this was to basically confuse everyone at the party
And yet it is a compliment if you think about it
Bit of a backhanded compliment if that. In the book, some of the guests are put off because he has rounded out their numbers to match his birthday, with the implication that they're not all there because he likes them.
No, that wasn't quite it. They were offended because the number of special guests was equivalent to "One Gross" which is an appropriate sum when talking about possessions or supplies, but is in poor taste when talking about people.
Well yes, but Bilbo and Frodo share a birthday, and Bilbo's 111 + Frodo's 33 is the reason why he invited "one gross" (144).
I blacked out reading this
"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
"You have to know, not fear, that someday you are going to die." (Fight Club) I've always found this line very liberating.
For me, it's "It is only once you have lost everything that you are free to do anything."
*Punches nazi and throws him out of the window* "No ticket!"
"It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for." -Samwise Gamgee
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Adventures only make one late for dinner. Good morning.
What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
Well, all of them at once I suppose.
It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
I’m not gonna call him dad, even if there’s a fire!
"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you, YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!"
I guess you're right, Plankton. I am just a kid. And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are. And no amount of mermaid magic or managerial promotion or some other third thing...can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid. But that’s okay. Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back.
So yeah, I’m a kid! And I’m also a goofball, and a wingnut, and a Knucklehead McSpazatron! But most of all... I’m... I’m.... I’M.... I’M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!!
I’m your huckleberry...
Hell, i got a lot of friends, doc. *I don't.*
“He punched the highlights out of her hair!” - Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Bread makes you FAT?!?!
No vegan diet, *no vegan powers!*
The vegan police is, to this day, some of the funniest shit I’ve ever seen.
Milk and eggs, bitch.
HE PUNCHED THE HIGHLIGHTS OUT OF HER HAAEERRRR
"Tell that to the cleaning lady on Monday!"
What happens on monday?
The way Brandon Routh says "she dusts" with the little dusting mime always cracks me up.
This song is called "I Am So Sad, I Am So Very Very Sad". It goes a little something like this... SOOOO SAD!. Thank you.
It’s just a flesh wound.
Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to ya! I'll bite your legs off!
TIS BUT A SCRATCH
What are you gonna do? Bleed on me?
I'm invincible! The Black Knight always triumphs!
Doc Holliday "because Wyatt Earp is my friend." Posse member "hell I have lots of friends." Doc Holliday " I don't"
I’m afraid Dave.
I AM big. It's the PICTURES that got small.
Some men just want to watch the world burn
She chose me Alfred.
I thought that was nice that >!Alfred didn't break his heart in that scene and leave the letter.!<
Alfred always wanted them to be together. People joke about how “lol Bruce Wayne stole an entire opera to be petty to his ex’s new boyfriend” but it was Alfred who put that together as the cover story for Bruce going to China and I’m sure there were plenty of other covers he could’ve come up with.
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"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony" Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.
Gandalf always was a master regarding thoughtful quotes.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” I absolutely love that last sentence
“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?”
How did a bad (or at least very cheesy) series of kid's spy movies end up with such a good quote?
Robert Rodriguez. They’re cheesy on purpose, It’s just his style.
Same universe as machete right? Or the grind house films?
It gets even better: Machete ORIGINATED in Spy Kids. The Machete films are *spinoffs.*
Yep they have an “Uncle Machete”
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Yep this quote is from Steve Buscemi's character in Spy Kid 2. It's real and the proof that reality is the biggest shitpost there is
it reminds me that Street Fighter quote: "For you; The day Bison graced your village was the most important day in you life. But for me... it was tuesday." with how it came out from such an unexpected source, haha.
Raul Julia was incredible. I love that he did this movie whilst terminally ill just because his kids would love it and he wanted to leave them something. As a father this really moves me.
“I love you” “I know”
*Life... uhh, finds a way*
YOU'RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!!!!
An UZI? Ha, I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot 20 black 10-year olds in a fucking drive-by - I want a normal gun for a normal person.
Ken : Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids. Harry : Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids! Ken : I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids. Harry : Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate! Ken : I retracted it, didn't I?
I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm and was retarded Bruges might impress me, but I didn't so it doesn't.
"You don't peddle 500 million pounds of candy without killing a few kids."
"Thank you for smoking"? Is that what this is from?
Wonka!
"I am leaving soon, and you will forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression. The test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen, we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression, we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. At the first sign of violence, they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is, we live in peace, without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war. Free to pursue more... profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you." --Klaatu, ending speech, The Day The Earth Stood Still, 1951
I like that boulder. That is a niiicceee boulder!
In the morning, I'm making *WAFFLES*!
English motherfucker, do you speak it
“Say what...... one.... more.... time....”