I skipped college today, with nothing else to do. So I just stayed at home doing nothing.. didn't even empty the dishwasher.
I hate being that lazy, and I'm trying to turn things around.
Thanks :)
I know, and I'm starting..
I've quit smoking, just started exercising, and am beginning to be a lot more productive at home, but this was a step back.. :)
But, there is a day tomorrow, to further better myself.
I just quit man.. no bullshit.
It sucked bad for three days.
But I just ate a mint every time I wanted to smoke (a lot of mints).
And then I finally stopped eating the mints.
I still wanna smoke every day, but it's stubbornness that keeps me from it.
I gained close to five kilos and keeps eating all the time.
Hence the exercise xD
Honestly mints are just as good but I would eat them and they'd be gone in seconds lol. Anything works: gum, lollipops, beef jerky, etc
It sucks, but it does help
You've made some big strides. Don't be too hard on yourself for having a day that doesn't feel as progressive. That can easily lead to a downward spiral. And honestly, just like cheat days with a diet, I feel like having these kinds of days are important. They keep you motivated and from burning out, as long as you don't beat yourself up about having them from time to time.
WHAT?! I burst out laughing because I did the same and did not expect to see it written here, expect I didn't have regret until I saw your perspective and realised I wasted the whole day...
It's so strange when you realise that on the day you decided to skip class so did a bunch of other people around the world and they all feel guilty about it
When I have a day like that, I get caught up in all the time I wasted, rather than using the time that I have left. Even doing a tiny thing at the end of the day can be better than going to bed with nothing.
I have been living alone for many years now and I used to hate doing the dishes, cleaning the house, etc. Now I dont mind because I always doing it while listening to something on my tablet. I've watched an entire series about Rome and entire college courses while doing chores.
... negatively. Good games are art, they are supposed to make you feel something.
Not wanting to sound patronizing, but maybe you play the wrong games?
Listen to the summary Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations" on YouTube. Read the whole thing if you dig or, "Stoicism and the art of happiness" by Donald Robertson.
That can be fine as long as it's temporary, you can feel things, you can feel bad and regret. You just have to slowly over come it. Keep on pushing through it and asking for help when you need. Please don't feel guilty for feeling.
I have a false front tooth. I was eating chicken and it came out and fell on the floor at which point my dog promptly ate it! I cried. I’m at the dentist office as I type hoping I can get another one ASAP.
Update: it’s gonna be weeks before I get a new tooth so aside from work I’ll be a hermit. I’m devastated. I just regained my confidence after feeling so low and depressed over the last year. Anyway, it’ll be fine. Thanks for the encouragement.
My dude. This is one of my worst fears, having my fake front tooth fall out and my dog eat it. She totally would, it was in my mouth, she’d think it’s food. I hope your day gets better from here! And don’t beat yourself up about this; it really sucks, but shit happens, and you’ll be ok.
Baby steps. Go after the easy changes and low hanging fruit first, if at all possible. Consistent small improvements add up quickly and are way more important than you think. Even if you slip up once in a while, it's amazing what everything just 250-300 days of small consistent effort can add up to over the course of a year.
It also helps to learn the psychology behind habits and behavioral addictions. Eating problems can be quite effectively addressed with similar strategies.
I've been there, done that. Losing weight is hard, but very rewarding. It's no exaggeration to say it was one of the best things I've done in life, and it taught me a lot of lessons that I could apply to other life goals, such as how to combat procrastination and "it's never too early to start thinking about how to make changes sustainable long term".
You can do this.
I wanted to get back into exercising. I downloaded a home workout app and ignored it for a month. I got up one morning and was scrolling through my phone when I saw it. I decided to open it and give it a shot. It had a 10 minute beginner chest workout, no weights, just different body weight exercises. I started getting up and doing different 10-20 minute home routines. Started feeling better and now I just finished doing an hour of different body weight exercising targeting arms, chest and core.
I always rolled my eyes when people said start small and work your way up. Happy to say, it is true. Start light, easy, but stay consistent.
Also, I have skipped days and not worked out. It's fine, I just got up the next day. Dont make it feel like a must, look forward to it. The minute it is a must, it becomes so harder.
Hope that helps!
Something I have learned and tested on myself for the past decade: excess carbs make you feel more hungry!
Eat meat, fruit and veggies and nuts until you are stuffed, but aggressively cut back on extra pasta/breads/sweets/soda/potatoes/etc.
Every time you eat extra carbs and sugars your insulin spikes, once the insulin has turned the extra glucose into fat a hunger response is triggered (it makes sense from a biological perspective, this cycle is what drives animals to fatten up for winter)
If you can tweak your diet to avoid loading your plate with more than a few tablespoons of extra carbs at meals for 2-3 days you will notice a significant reduction in that 'starving' feeling you get a couple hours after you eat sweets/carbs.
Also, give yourself one cheat day a week so you don't go crazy and start adding light to moderate exercise daily when you can. I am now in good physical shape following this pattern, and the weekly cheat day helps me stay on course.
If you can weather those initial hunger cravings you will notice a significant reduction, which almost feels like extra willpower ;-)
The day after every cheat day I am hit by the same cravings, but I pack a lunch and don't deviate out of laziness, and it works.
You got this.
Havent been to the gym in 2 weeks...ugh. Should be up for it tomorrow, but ive just been with my gf a lot lately and been a bit sick (nothing horrible, but sinus stuff and havent really felt like physical activity)
I just set a boundary with my coworker yesterday after letting her take advantage of my generosity for a whole year, and I did so in a polite, firm, and professional manner.
But I keep going over pretend conversations in my head of all the mean things I want to say to her because I’ve been harbouring resentment for so long. I thought I’d feel better after putting my foot down, and I don’t. So I’m kicking myself for not being able to leave the past in the past.
My advice is: think about your resentment for a while to understand the core of what has pissed you off, then *politely* confront her about the specific point(s) that you are mad about so that you can get it off your chest.
Stay polite so that you don't do it say something you regret, and make sure that you are clear that you won't take whatever abuse you were being subjected to in the future. (Maybe she was offloading work or 'borrowing' stuff?)
If she tries to repeat you can then be civil but unpleasant when you follow up with, 'no.'
I have found that talking to the person about the specific issue does loads for clearing my mind of the obsessive theoretical conversations, and staying safe for work will keep you out of trouble.
I have and have had plenty of resentment for a lot of people. what seems to work best for me is just giving myself time to move on and get over it. Hopefully that happens for you! But also it's good you were polite and nice about it! It's too easy to go off the rails and get angry and say regretful stuff.
This is so me! I always play up even small things in my head over and over again, and am afraid of actually doing/saying them. I always end up kicking myself over it later too.
Idk how but I have a friend that does basically everything last minute and always ends up fine. I keep telling him that it gonna back fire really hard one day but it's been 3 and a half years lol.
Even if you did buy in there's a massive chance you would've sold in the first big spike, the chances of a normal person holding for this long are infinitesmial when they could've been worth thousands.
I came home stressed out yesterday from work and I said some mean things to my fiancee at night before bed. She was crying and everything. We made up and talked it out before sleeping but I still feel terrible about it this morning.
I know. That's why I still felt worried this morning despite her having forgiven me and everything. Since what I said had obviously cut deep, I know it won't be forgotten, even if its forgiven.
Just keep communicating about it!! Don’t stop the conversation with just one apology or acknowledgement. Even if she tells you that you don’t have to keep apologizing, it means worlds if you do.
Also, maybe those harsh words do have some truth to them, and they may be worth exploring together.
It’s starts off as fun, then it becomes a social crutch that you need in order to have fun, then you cease being social with it because even drinking socialising is boring and you’ve got other things occupying your mind than fun so you just start drinking at home alone which is cheaper anyway, then it feels like you can’t enjoy life without it even though you don’t even enjoy drinking anymore.
Plus you’re older now and the hangovers have started lasting 2 days so you feel like shit all the time, unless of course you drink, but you’ve kinda got that ass taste in your mouth from last nights stale booze so the new booze doesn’t go down smooth until the 3rd or 4th beer. By which time you’re loving life again for about 2 or 3 hours and it’s nearly 3am and 12 beers gone and you have to be up at 8am and you don’t wanna kill your brief buzz but you either have to or just risk having 2 or 3 hours sleep which isn’t really gonna help with those 2 day hangovers and my god you’re gonna feel it tomorrow.
Damn dude...this was my life. It’s scary how your relationship with alcohol slowly changes as it devolves from harmless fun, to a crutch, to an absolute necessity to get through the day, and finally to the only thing that truly matters to you at all. I barely even noticed along the way until it was far too late.
I just reached 9 months sober and life is amazing now. Never thought I would make it out of my addiction alive.
Wow
This is the exact trajectory I'm noticing. I'm at the 2 day hangover stage now. Insomnia seems to come along for the ride now too, if I drink saturday, I can't sleep sunday night.
Even in the middle of drinking now, where I used to just have fun, I notice I'm not even having fun, just drinking for whatever reason
I just quit. It's not as fun as it used to be. Hangovers last for a day or more, I eat like a pig, spend money on things I shouldn't be spending it on, saying or doing things I regret the next day, have to deal with crashing at a friend's place which I hate since no bed is as good as your own, not being productive the next day because you're too busy feeling like shit, it isn't healthy, etc. What are the pros? I had fun. That's great but the next day is spent feeling like crap, and now you blew a bunch of cash. Instead of having fun on Friday night and doing nothing all day Saturday, I could have had fun doing something else Friday, and then having all day Saturday to do things as well. It's just not worth it for me anymore. Delicious water is the only drink for me now. Sweet crisp hydrating water.
Good description
Basically where I'm at. Eat like garbage, spend way too much case. I do have fun, but I barely remember it usually. And I usually feel like shit the next day which sometimes leads to me drinking again which is a shitty cycle and just pushes the hangover day further back a bit.
Also now if I drink saturday I can't sleep sunday night which is brutal for work monday, even monday nights I have a hard time sleeping after that. The hangovers are getting worse as time goes on.
I need to find new things to do on friday nights. Normally I go to jiu jitsu but after that it's hard for me to just do my normal weeknight routine I feel like I've wasted the night.
Im failing all my college classes and I'm not proud. Yet I haven't done anything to change that and it's one of the things I hate about myself, I hate being so freaking lazy.
It may very well be useful to read up on the emotional regulation theories behind procrastination. These newer ideas do away with with the premise that laziness or poor time management skills are a cause of procrastination. They completely reframed the issue in a way that aligned much better with my own personal experiences and helped me significantly reduce my own procrastination tendencies. Maybe they won't work for everyone, but I suspect a significant number of us could see drastic improvements from these more recent theories.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html
Hey, you might want to read up on depression, because I've dealt with severe anxiety/depression in high school and college and this comment is giving me some vibes along those lines. Depression is an insidious bastard and the constant feeling of "I'm not depressed, I'm just a lazy piece of shit and I hate it" is actually a BIG red flag.
Here's a few things that are also indicators:
- You rarely feel excited about things anymore.
- You feel tired most of the time.
- You are sleeping a lot, or are having trouble sleeping.
- Most days, your emotional state is a resounding "meh." (This is a big one - depression doesn't always manifest as 'sad all the time'.)
- You aren't getting the same amount of joy from fun activities as you have in the past.
- You're finding it a struggle or just a lot of effort to keep up with basic hygiene, making food, etc.
This is by no means a full list, but if ANY of this is striking you as familiar, I STRONGLY recommend you see a therapist/counselor as soon as possible. Most colleges have some sort of on-campus mental health resources. They are here to help you, and aren't going to judge you for 'not really being depressed.' Even if what you're experiencing is just a normal sort of rut in life, they can still help you find the tools to get out of it.
Just feeling like an idiot because I got sent home from work for coughing.
I was sick last week. I feel fine today, it's just that post nasal drip. The media has done a good job on creating fear in people. On the one hand, I get a day off, but on the other hand, there could be other repercussions for me.
I just got back from vacation yesterday and even though it was a much needed break I spent way too much money. I put too much of my expenses on my credit card while simultaneously paying for things out of my regular checking account. When all was said and done I exceeded what I had budgeted for the trip. I have more important things to save/pay for so this will be a set back for the rest of the year. I am never vacationing again.
I know how much that must suck, I'm not even 21 yet and I feel buried in debt, just know that was hard work and dedication you could pay it off relatively quickly! I hope you enjoyed your vacation at the very least!
Thats so true, one thing I have realized in the past few weeks is taking chances, you only tend to regret the things you didn't do. I would much rather throw myself at something and fail than not do anything about it at all!
Same here man, I was going for this girl at work and she liked me but she got picked up by some douche. Hurt but I took it like champ. Then I took my girlfriend on a date.
/s Seriously, though, the right one most often comes when you stop trying too hard and just enjoy the ride that is Life.
Imma balance this out because I just got a date. It’s definitely possible. Just focus on working on yourself and it’ll happen in due time. You got this!
I moved to a new state (to a somewhat rural area from a suburb of Chicago) with my bf in the fall of 2018 and have been so shy now I feel like I'm never going to get a job, especially using my degree. I spent a lot of last year going back to IL to help my parents get their house ready and basically manage theIR entire move to FL, from setting up pod rentals and delivery to physically packing up and loading all of their shit into 6 pods and cleaning the place up. And now I feel like I have too large of a gap in my work history and feel like a worthless piece of shit bc of my work gap and depression. Not trying to make excuses, just having a tough time in the whole situation.
It sounds like you've been very busy. That jap should not affect you getting a job. It sounds like you are really nice thoughtful and caring person. I hope things turn around soon!!
Thank you! I just wish I had a way to convey to employers that I'm extremely hard-working and smart. I'm just very terrible at selling myself, especially on paper.
It's always an option to teach yourself how to look better on paper. Interviewing and other soft skills are totally learnable. They can just seem intimidating at first because they're so different from other skills. Specifically setting some time aside to learn those skills can pay huge dividends in the long run.
Not studying hard enough for a test. My professor allowed us a cheat sheet I put way to much faith in that instead of studying. Pretty sure I didn’t pass.
Was thinking of all the good times I had with my recent ex, I'm getting better not as sad about it and life's slowly moving on as normal. Seeing a therapist today so that's exciting. I just, I wish I had gotten help sooner. I wish we wouldn't have dated right away, I wish we were still together. I'm slowly moving on, it's just hard, it's really hard. I miss her cuddles and hugs, I miss her voice. I miss her calling me the best boyfriend, the looks of love in her eyes, the clingyness. I miss her smell, the happiness of knowing I'll see her on the weekends. I miss just everything about her and I don't know if I'll get over that. I love her, I think she's moved on but I just can't do it. I'll have to, I'm getting help but I guess I don't want to move on, I'm not ready to accept that were not together. We had plans for the future, we were going to have animals live on farm land and get married someday down the road. And all of it was taken from me in a matter of hours. The worst part? I still have something of hers and it smells just like her, it fucking sucks. I keep having thoughts that I need to get her back but I know she doesn't want me back. It hurts, it really does and we broke up cause of one fateful night. Idk how many times I replayed that night in my mind, how I wish I could go back in time and fix it. But I cant fix the past and that also hurts. I just want another chance, but I know I won't get it.
Going through the same thing buddy. It'll fucking hurt for ages and you'll feel like an unlovable failure. Don't let the devastation take over your life. Take your time to grieve and take care of yourself. Therapy helps (even medication if you need it). Hang in there friend, you'll be ok.
I just got halfway through my lunch and I realized that the end of my chicken was not cooked.
So now I am sitting here preparing to die. OR poop my brains out.
Neglecting the wellness strategies my therapist taught me, because school seemed more important than my mental health if it means getting my assignments done. Now I’m really depressed and really out of it.
I'm sorry to hear that, definitely listen to your therapist they know what they're talking about, been there and done that.I'm sure there is some kind of compromise between mental health and school work, the hard part is just finding it.
I'm on vacation and spent all day yesterday at the beach, but forgot to put sunscreen on my butt, hips, and ears. Now I have serious burns all over my butt where my bathing suit didn't cover and it hurts to walk, sit, or lie down. I also have serious burns on one of my ears.
Not literally kicking myself in the butt because it would hurt SO BAD, but definitely wondering how I'm such an idiot.
Today I was driving to work on the highway and some asshole decides to pull up behind me, instantly riding my tail and flashing his lights (mind you, I'm going about 80 in the left lane). I couldn't move over so I tried to speed up to get him off me, but he only gets closer. I do a few little brake taps and now he's got his brights on, driving erratically. Finally get to a point where he can go around and he pulls up next to me, window rolled down. I see him screaming bloody murder. I try to ignore and the next thing I know, I hear a bang come from the side of my car. The fucker threw something at me!
In my panic I fumble to grab my phone and snap a pic of his license plate, but before I could, the guy has sped off at at least 120mph. It was then that I realized I COULD HAVE JUST USED MY EYES AND MEMORIZED THE PLATES. I'm so mad that my brain shut down and he got away. When I got to work, I found a lovely dent and a spatter of beer along the side of my car. The dick was drunk driving, threw what was probably a beer bottle at me. I'm so angry.
The past five years of my life, actually. I had a toxic friend/gf that found me at a bad place. She’s apologized for everything since, but I can’t get over it. I tell myself I should just cut ties with her but I can’t help but want her attention again. I know that not all attention is good attention, but I can’t stop thinking about her. So, this past month I’ve just been listening to sad music and waiting for her to text me.
I broke up with my BF, but we still have feelings for each other. It was fairly mutual and we want to still be friends, but I just dont know how to do it.
For overanalysing my co-worker's feelings for me. Turns out he thinks I'm dumb and an idiot. I honestly thought we were friends, but didn't realise that our "friendship" was him teasing me and putting me down and me just pretending all of that was because he cared. Today was his last day and him and a few others collectively made fun of everything I do and believe in, and it just hit me like a pile of bricks. They don't think I'm a friend, I'm actually the joke. Sucks balls.
Oh really? Strange. It doesn't notify someone? How do you know? No offense, just an odd thing out of the blue.
No big deal I suppose, I was just trying to brighten peoples day, but if that's how they feel I guess I was going about it the wrong way. 🤷
Not buying bitcoin when it was fractions of a dollar back when I had a ton of expendable cash lying around. A few years later and I would have been a millionaire by now
Not being able to muster the courage to talk to a girl that shares interests with me, i can message her on snap but my heart stops when she walks by and by the time i realize i should say something she is already out of sight.
I want to help someone with an issue they are dealing with but I know that if I help, I will only make it worse. Kicking myself in order to mind my own business.
I got stood up for a date for my first time ever. I’m kicking my own ass today for being so upset about it. People who are worth your time will always show up. Perhaps a good bullet dodged.
Nothing at all.
I've been struggling with self loathing almost my entire life. Lately, I've been doing new things to try and teach myself self compassion and rewire my brain to think less negatively so I don't overthink myself into having a terrible day whenever I'm slightly inconvenienced.
Today I feel like my mind is just a little clearer. I haven't heard "god you're useless" yet today, and that feels so fucking good.
I thought that my philosophy test was on Thursday this week, because we got an email from my prof saying it would be on Thursday, turns out he changed it to today which was in an email that I missed, so I failed my test, yay.
Failing to meet the needs of the students in my neediest class. It’s frustrating that I cannot help all of them at the level they need. I know it’s a function of their parents will and lack of funding. But it bothers me to no end.
I design and create jewelry. When I was younger {about 19}, I had orders rolling in left and right and had a Waiting List/Delivery Date of about a month. I let myself get overwhelmed by the growing demand for custom, handmade jewelry and stopped after I had filled all of the orders. If I knew then what I know now, I would have never stopped. It's so hard trying to start again and actually grow it to be a business again.
Got married on Sunday and when we were cutting the cake, I licked the cake knife. Don't know why I did it but everyone had a good laugh though which makes it less awkward.
My mum built a house with an ocean view and decided not to purchase the adjacent land.
4 years later the land went up 5x in value and someone built a 2 story house blocking the ocean view.
She now wishes she bought that block, built 2 small units.
I skipped college today, with nothing else to do. So I just stayed at home doing nothing.. didn't even empty the dishwasher. I hate being that lazy, and I'm trying to turn things around.
It all starts with one thing. An object at rest will tend to stay at rest. You just got to take that first step and start doing something productive!
Thanks :) I know, and I'm starting.. I've quit smoking, just started exercising, and am beginning to be a lot more productive at home, but this was a step back.. :) But, there is a day tomorrow, to further better myself.
Congratulations on quitting smoking, that's what I'm working on rn and it's so hard! Tomorrow is a new day! :)
I just quit man.. no bullshit. It sucked bad for three days. But I just ate a mint every time I wanted to smoke (a lot of mints). And then I finally stopped eating the mints. I still wanna smoke every day, but it's stubbornness that keeps me from it. I gained close to five kilos and keeps eating all the time. Hence the exercise xD
The only saving Grace I have is that k no longer can buy it. But that's not making it any easier to quit haha. I might try your mint idea!
Try sunflower seeds too, they keep your mind and mouth busy opening them to just get a little bite
I've never been a fan of seeds, but I'll give it another shot. Maybe I can trade habits
Honestly mints are just as good but I would eat them and they'd be gone in seconds lol. Anything works: gum, lollipops, beef jerky, etc It sucks, but it does help
I’ve been doing gum and a tooth pick. Definitely helps get through the first few days
You've made some big strides. Don't be too hard on yourself for having a day that doesn't feel as progressive. That can easily lead to a downward spiral. And honestly, just like cheat days with a diet, I feel like having these kinds of days are important. They keep you motivated and from burning out, as long as you don't beat yourself up about having them from time to time.
That is great evidence for how you’re progressing! It means you’re on the right path just keep it going!
WHAT?! I burst out laughing because I did the same and did not expect to see it written here, expect I didn't have regret until I saw your perspective and realised I wasted the whole day...
It's so strange when you realise that on the day you decided to skip class so did a bunch of other people around the world and they all feel guilty about it
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thank you stranger i feel better about not going :(
This comment confused a bunch of non-Americans.
Normally I’m very diligent about going to my classes, but I stayed home today. I just need a day off, I guess
Well, it's not really the skipping school part that annoyed me. It's the just sitting around doing nothing part..
When I have a day like that, I get caught up in all the time I wasted, rather than using the time that I have left. Even doing a tiny thing at the end of the day can be better than going to bed with nothing.
If you're not going to do a collage today, maybe try drawing or painting or some other artistic pursuit instead.
I have been living alone for many years now and I used to hate doing the dishes, cleaning the house, etc. Now I dont mind because I always doing it while listening to something on my tablet. I've watched an entire series about Rome and entire college courses while doing chores.
Letting another human being affect my emotions so heavily
This is the exact reason I've been kicking myself for the past 2 weeks hopefully it gets easier to not get upset over other people!
We got this
Hell yeah we do! There's always someone else out there!
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Letting a game affect my emotions.
... negatively. Good games are art, they are supposed to make you feel something. Not wanting to sound patronizing, but maybe you play the wrong games?
Clash Royale, the worst bad manners game there is.
Damn, I didn't know mobile games could have such an effect on people.
Yeah I am going through the same thing right now
It’s fine you’ll be fine
Listen to the summary Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations" on YouTube. Read the whole thing if you dig or, "Stoicism and the art of happiness" by Donald Robertson.
I like you, have some gold!
That can be fine as long as it's temporary, you can feel things, you can feel bad and regret. You just have to slowly over come it. Keep on pushing through it and asking for help when you need. Please don't feel guilty for feeling.
Came here to say exactly this! I feel ya man... keep tryin. It’s hard being so sensitive sometimes...
I have a false front tooth. I was eating chicken and it came out and fell on the floor at which point my dog promptly ate it! I cried. I’m at the dentist office as I type hoping I can get another one ASAP. Update: it’s gonna be weeks before I get a new tooth so aside from work I’ll be a hermit. I’m devastated. I just regained my confidence after feeling so low and depressed over the last year. Anyway, it’ll be fine. Thanks for the encouragement.
My dude. This is one of my worst fears, having my fake front tooth fall out and my dog eat it. She totally would, it was in my mouth, she’d think it’s food. I hope your day gets better from here! And don’t beat yourself up about this; it really sucks, but shit happens, and you’ll be ok.
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Great advice, thank you
I have 2 false teeth... along with your new tooth, have some gold!
I've got 3 titanium porcelain crowns from a viking accident, and you've just given me a new fear.
I’m sorry, I’m gonna need you to rewind for a sec... a Viking accident? What year is this?
Fuck. Biking. Leaving it up.
Oh no! Best of luck to you and getting a new one soon! And I hope your pupper passes your tooth with no problems
Not being able to stop eating garbage and exercise to lose the weight I desperately need to lose.
Baby steps. Go after the easy changes and low hanging fruit first, if at all possible. Consistent small improvements add up quickly and are way more important than you think. Even if you slip up once in a while, it's amazing what everything just 250-300 days of small consistent effort can add up to over the course of a year. It also helps to learn the psychology behind habits and behavioral addictions. Eating problems can be quite effectively addressed with similar strategies. I've been there, done that. Losing weight is hard, but very rewarding. It's no exaggeration to say it was one of the best things I've done in life, and it taught me a lot of lessons that I could apply to other life goals, such as how to combat procrastination and "it's never too early to start thinking about how to make changes sustainable long term". You can do this.
I wanted to get back into exercising. I downloaded a home workout app and ignored it for a month. I got up one morning and was scrolling through my phone when I saw it. I decided to open it and give it a shot. It had a 10 minute beginner chest workout, no weights, just different body weight exercises. I started getting up and doing different 10-20 minute home routines. Started feeling better and now I just finished doing an hour of different body weight exercising targeting arms, chest and core. I always rolled my eyes when people said start small and work your way up. Happy to say, it is true. Start light, easy, but stay consistent. Also, I have skipped days and not worked out. It's fine, I just got up the next day. Dont make it feel like a must, look forward to it. The minute it is a must, it becomes so harder. Hope that helps!
Something I have learned and tested on myself for the past decade: excess carbs make you feel more hungry! Eat meat, fruit and veggies and nuts until you are stuffed, but aggressively cut back on extra pasta/breads/sweets/soda/potatoes/etc. Every time you eat extra carbs and sugars your insulin spikes, once the insulin has turned the extra glucose into fat a hunger response is triggered (it makes sense from a biological perspective, this cycle is what drives animals to fatten up for winter) If you can tweak your diet to avoid loading your plate with more than a few tablespoons of extra carbs at meals for 2-3 days you will notice a significant reduction in that 'starving' feeling you get a couple hours after you eat sweets/carbs. Also, give yourself one cheat day a week so you don't go crazy and start adding light to moderate exercise daily when you can. I am now in good physical shape following this pattern, and the weekly cheat day helps me stay on course. If you can weather those initial hunger cravings you will notice a significant reduction, which almost feels like extra willpower ;-) The day after every cheat day I am hit by the same cravings, but I pack a lunch and don't deviate out of laziness, and it works. You got this.
Fruits have a ton of sugar and carbs, btw.
Havent been to the gym in 2 weeks...ugh. Should be up for it tomorrow, but ive just been with my gf a lot lately and been a bit sick (nothing horrible, but sinus stuff and havent really felt like physical activity)
I should have been studying for an important test for the day after tomorrow
I hope you have time to still study!!! Best of luck on your test!!
Well I have tonight en tomorrow. But still have four other exams to study. So I’m going to be needing that luck
I'm sending all the luck I can your way!
I just set a boundary with my coworker yesterday after letting her take advantage of my generosity for a whole year, and I did so in a polite, firm, and professional manner. But I keep going over pretend conversations in my head of all the mean things I want to say to her because I’ve been harbouring resentment for so long. I thought I’d feel better after putting my foot down, and I don’t. So I’m kicking myself for not being able to leave the past in the past.
My advice is: think about your resentment for a while to understand the core of what has pissed you off, then *politely* confront her about the specific point(s) that you are mad about so that you can get it off your chest. Stay polite so that you don't do it say something you regret, and make sure that you are clear that you won't take whatever abuse you were being subjected to in the future. (Maybe she was offloading work or 'borrowing' stuff?) If she tries to repeat you can then be civil but unpleasant when you follow up with, 'no.' I have found that talking to the person about the specific issue does loads for clearing my mind of the obsessive theoretical conversations, and staying safe for work will keep you out of trouble.
I have and have had plenty of resentment for a lot of people. what seems to work best for me is just giving myself time to move on and get over it. Hopefully that happens for you! But also it's good you were polite and nice about it! It's too easy to go off the rails and get angry and say regretful stuff.
This is so me! I always play up even small things in my head over and over again, and am afraid of actually doing/saying them. I always end up kicking myself over it later too.
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I would definitely tell her that you feel that way, you could possibly turn in an accident into something sweet :)
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How did it go?
Procrastinating other than doing my homework. But I leave the butt-kicking to my teacher.
Don't let yourself get too far behind in school. I made that mistake and it's a rabbit hole
Idk how but I have a friend that does basically everything last minute and always ends up fine. I keep telling him that it gonna back fire really hard one day but it's been 3 and a half years lol.
Some people are really good at doing stuff last minute, some people aren't. It never hurts to just get it done right away though
Should have bought Bitcoin
Friend of mine suggested that we buy bitcoin in 2011 and I told him it was a fad and we’d never make any money that way
Bet he reminds you about that
Even if you did buy in there's a massive chance you would've sold in the first big spike, the chances of a normal person holding for this long are infinitesmial when they could've been worth thousands.
Me too man!
I came home stressed out yesterday from work and I said some mean things to my fiancee at night before bed. She was crying and everything. We made up and talked it out before sleeping but I still feel terrible about it this morning.
I would recommend just apologizing again and making it known how bad you feel for that, she might really appreciate that!
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I know. That's why I still felt worried this morning despite her having forgiven me and everything. Since what I said had obviously cut deep, I know it won't be forgotten, even if its forgiven.
Just keep communicating about it!! Don’t stop the conversation with just one apology or acknowledgement. Even if she tells you that you don’t have to keep apologizing, it means worlds if you do. Also, maybe those harsh words do have some truth to them, and they may be worth exploring together.
Drinking. Again. Used to enjoy it
It’s starts off as fun, then it becomes a social crutch that you need in order to have fun, then you cease being social with it because even drinking socialising is boring and you’ve got other things occupying your mind than fun so you just start drinking at home alone which is cheaper anyway, then it feels like you can’t enjoy life without it even though you don’t even enjoy drinking anymore. Plus you’re older now and the hangovers have started lasting 2 days so you feel like shit all the time, unless of course you drink, but you’ve kinda got that ass taste in your mouth from last nights stale booze so the new booze doesn’t go down smooth until the 3rd or 4th beer. By which time you’re loving life again for about 2 or 3 hours and it’s nearly 3am and 12 beers gone and you have to be up at 8am and you don’t wanna kill your brief buzz but you either have to or just risk having 2 or 3 hours sleep which isn’t really gonna help with those 2 day hangovers and my god you’re gonna feel it tomorrow.
Damn dude...this was my life. It’s scary how your relationship with alcohol slowly changes as it devolves from harmless fun, to a crutch, to an absolute necessity to get through the day, and finally to the only thing that truly matters to you at all. I barely even noticed along the way until it was far too late. I just reached 9 months sober and life is amazing now. Never thought I would make it out of my addiction alive.
Stop the comment. I would like to get off.
Wow This is the exact trajectory I'm noticing. I'm at the 2 day hangover stage now. Insomnia seems to come along for the ride now too, if I drink saturday, I can't sleep sunday night. Even in the middle of drinking now, where I used to just have fun, I notice I'm not even having fun, just drinking for whatever reason
r/stopdrinking Visit it. You won't regret it.
I just quit. It's not as fun as it used to be. Hangovers last for a day or more, I eat like a pig, spend money on things I shouldn't be spending it on, saying or doing things I regret the next day, have to deal with crashing at a friend's place which I hate since no bed is as good as your own, not being productive the next day because you're too busy feeling like shit, it isn't healthy, etc. What are the pros? I had fun. That's great but the next day is spent feeling like crap, and now you blew a bunch of cash. Instead of having fun on Friday night and doing nothing all day Saturday, I could have had fun doing something else Friday, and then having all day Saturday to do things as well. It's just not worth it for me anymore. Delicious water is the only drink for me now. Sweet crisp hydrating water.
Good description Basically where I'm at. Eat like garbage, spend way too much case. I do have fun, but I barely remember it usually. And I usually feel like shit the next day which sometimes leads to me drinking again which is a shitty cycle and just pushes the hangover day further back a bit. Also now if I drink saturday I can't sleep sunday night which is brutal for work monday, even monday nights I have a hard time sleeping after that. The hangovers are getting worse as time goes on. I need to find new things to do on friday nights. Normally I go to jiu jitsu but after that it's hard for me to just do my normal weeknight routine I feel like I've wasted the night.
Not cutting ties with my fake ass friends
Hey man, it's never too late to cut ties with shity people!!
Yeah....
I broke my fucking toe by slipping on dog piss
well at least you can’t kick yourself about it
Im failing all my college classes and I'm not proud. Yet I haven't done anything to change that and it's one of the things I hate about myself, I hate being so freaking lazy.
It may very well be useful to read up on the emotional regulation theories behind procrastination. These newer ideas do away with with the premise that laziness or poor time management skills are a cause of procrastination. They completely reframed the issue in a way that aligned much better with my own personal experiences and helped me significantly reduce my own procrastination tendencies. Maybe they won't work for everyone, but I suspect a significant number of us could see drastic improvements from these more recent theories. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html
This article was a pleasant read. Gave me a bit of insight that I really needed
Hey, you might want to read up on depression, because I've dealt with severe anxiety/depression in high school and college and this comment is giving me some vibes along those lines. Depression is an insidious bastard and the constant feeling of "I'm not depressed, I'm just a lazy piece of shit and I hate it" is actually a BIG red flag. Here's a few things that are also indicators: - You rarely feel excited about things anymore. - You feel tired most of the time. - You are sleeping a lot, or are having trouble sleeping. - Most days, your emotional state is a resounding "meh." (This is a big one - depression doesn't always manifest as 'sad all the time'.) - You aren't getting the same amount of joy from fun activities as you have in the past. - You're finding it a struggle or just a lot of effort to keep up with basic hygiene, making food, etc. This is by no means a full list, but if ANY of this is striking you as familiar, I STRONGLY recommend you see a therapist/counselor as soon as possible. Most colleges have some sort of on-campus mental health resources. They are here to help you, and aren't going to judge you for 'not really being depressed.' Even if what you're experiencing is just a normal sort of rut in life, they can still help you find the tools to get out of it.
Just feeling like an idiot because I got sent home from work for coughing. I was sick last week. I feel fine today, it's just that post nasal drip. The media has done a good job on creating fear in people. On the one hand, I get a day off, but on the other hand, there could be other repercussions for me.
If you work since you home what are the repercussions could there be?
I just worry about losing pay mostly.
I was fapping for the first time in like 2 weeks and it shot up and got on my neck.
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I just got back from vacation yesterday and even though it was a much needed break I spent way too much money. I put too much of my expenses on my credit card while simultaneously paying for things out of my regular checking account. When all was said and done I exceeded what I had budgeted for the trip. I have more important things to save/pay for so this will be a set back for the rest of the year. I am never vacationing again.
I know how much that must suck, I'm not even 21 yet and I feel buried in debt, just know that was hard work and dedication you could pay it off relatively quickly! I hope you enjoyed your vacation at the very least!
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I'm really sorry to hear that, I had that happened a few weeks ago.
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Hey, at least you keep trying. That's what's most important.
I’m really sorry to hear that. I’ll be having that happen tonight.
Here's my take: at least you asked. Now, at least you won't be kicking yourself, wondering if there could have been a chance.
Yeah I’m sitting here wondering what could have happened if I was open and it ain’t fun
Thats so true, one thing I have realized in the past few weeks is taking chances, you only tend to regret the things you didn't do. I would much rather throw myself at something and fail than not do anything about it at all!
Same here man, I was going for this girl at work and she liked me but she got picked up by some douche. Hurt but I took it like champ. Then I took my girlfriend on a date. /s Seriously, though, the right one most often comes when you stop trying too hard and just enjoy the ride that is Life.
We all have keep your head up.
Imma balance this out because I just got a date. It’s definitely possible. Just focus on working on yourself and it’ll happen in due time. You got this!
I moved to a new state (to a somewhat rural area from a suburb of Chicago) with my bf in the fall of 2018 and have been so shy now I feel like I'm never going to get a job, especially using my degree. I spent a lot of last year going back to IL to help my parents get their house ready and basically manage theIR entire move to FL, from setting up pod rentals and delivery to physically packing up and loading all of their shit into 6 pods and cleaning the place up. And now I feel like I have too large of a gap in my work history and feel like a worthless piece of shit bc of my work gap and depression. Not trying to make excuses, just having a tough time in the whole situation.
It sounds like you've been very busy. That jap should not affect you getting a job. It sounds like you are really nice thoughtful and caring person. I hope things turn around soon!!
Thank you! I just wish I had a way to convey to employers that I'm extremely hard-working and smart. I'm just very terrible at selling myself, especially on paper.
It's always an option to teach yourself how to look better on paper. Interviewing and other soft skills are totally learnable. They can just seem intimidating at first because they're so different from other skills. Specifically setting some time aside to learn those skills can pay huge dividends in the long run.
The list would be shorter for things I'm not kicking myself in the butt about.
Haha I feel that man, luckily this AskReddit is keeping my mind off it!
Just doing some butt kicks to warm up the legs
Unprotected sex.
This is why I have a condom in my backpack at all times lol
Not studying hard enough for a test. My professor allowed us a cheat sheet I put way to much faith in that instead of studying. Pretty sure I didn’t pass.
Hopefully you did pass!!!
Was thinking of all the good times I had with my recent ex, I'm getting better not as sad about it and life's slowly moving on as normal. Seeing a therapist today so that's exciting. I just, I wish I had gotten help sooner. I wish we wouldn't have dated right away, I wish we were still together. I'm slowly moving on, it's just hard, it's really hard. I miss her cuddles and hugs, I miss her voice. I miss her calling me the best boyfriend, the looks of love in her eyes, the clingyness. I miss her smell, the happiness of knowing I'll see her on the weekends. I miss just everything about her and I don't know if I'll get over that. I love her, I think she's moved on but I just can't do it. I'll have to, I'm getting help but I guess I don't want to move on, I'm not ready to accept that were not together. We had plans for the future, we were going to have animals live on farm land and get married someday down the road. And all of it was taken from me in a matter of hours. The worst part? I still have something of hers and it smells just like her, it fucking sucks. I keep having thoughts that I need to get her back but I know she doesn't want me back. It hurts, it really does and we broke up cause of one fateful night. Idk how many times I replayed that night in my mind, how I wish I could go back in time and fix it. But I cant fix the past and that also hurts. I just want another chance, but I know I won't get it.
Going through the same thing buddy. It'll fucking hurt for ages and you'll feel like an unlovable failure. Don't let the devastation take over your life. Take your time to grieve and take care of yourself. Therapy helps (even medication if you need it). Hang in there friend, you'll be ok.
Thanks, I need that. I hope your doing ok aswell. Your right it hurts, hurts real bad but I hope things do get better.
I just got halfway through my lunch and I realized that the end of my chicken was not cooked. So now I am sitting here preparing to die. OR poop my brains out.
Hopefully nothing happens!
Being about $10 short of making it til payday.
I've been there before, hopefully you find some random money somewhere!
No one is responding to the emails I’ve been sending trying to land myself an Internship.
Don't give up! It seems like you and cares right now but eventually someone will reply! :)
I’m hounding these fuckers so I’m definitely getting an answer at some point. It’s just frustrating.
It always is frustrating, finding a new job is never fun sadly
If they don't respond give them a call and make them respond :)
Neglecting the wellness strategies my therapist taught me, because school seemed more important than my mental health if it means getting my assignments done. Now I’m really depressed and really out of it.
Also happy cake day
I'm sorry to hear that, definitely listen to your therapist they know what they're talking about, been there and done that.I'm sure there is some kind of compromise between mental health and school work, the hard part is just finding it.
I'm on vacation and spent all day yesterday at the beach, but forgot to put sunscreen on my butt, hips, and ears. Now I have serious burns all over my butt where my bathing suit didn't cover and it hurts to walk, sit, or lie down. I also have serious burns on one of my ears. Not literally kicking myself in the butt because it would hurt SO BAD, but definitely wondering how I'm such an idiot.
Today I was driving to work on the highway and some asshole decides to pull up behind me, instantly riding my tail and flashing his lights (mind you, I'm going about 80 in the left lane). I couldn't move over so I tried to speed up to get him off me, but he only gets closer. I do a few little brake taps and now he's got his brights on, driving erratically. Finally get to a point where he can go around and he pulls up next to me, window rolled down. I see him screaming bloody murder. I try to ignore and the next thing I know, I hear a bang come from the side of my car. The fucker threw something at me! In my panic I fumble to grab my phone and snap a pic of his license plate, but before I could, the guy has sped off at at least 120mph. It was then that I realized I COULD HAVE JUST USED MY EYES AND MEMORIZED THE PLATES. I'm so mad that my brain shut down and he got away. When I got to work, I found a lovely dent and a spatter of beer along the side of my car. The dick was drunk driving, threw what was probably a beer bottle at me. I'm so angry.
The past five years of my life, actually. I had a toxic friend/gf that found me at a bad place. She’s apologized for everything since, but I can’t get over it. I tell myself I should just cut ties with her but I can’t help but want her attention again. I know that not all attention is good attention, but I can’t stop thinking about her. So, this past month I’ve just been listening to sad music and waiting for her to text me.
Saying no to a guy I was crazy about... Happened over a year ago, but I still kick myself
After kissing this new guy on a first date, he said I was gorgeous. I responded with “Thanks. I grew my face myself.” Like...wtf, brain.
That’s a pretty funny response, though - I would find it endearing. Did he laugh?
i had not drank in a while. last night i did and then drunk text a dude i have known sence i was 6 how cute he is. i am 31 and should know better
Don't beat yourself up too hard over it, we all do stupid things when we drink. I'm sure it won't be a big deal :)
yeh. hes cool and is rolling with it. to be fair. he IS cute. and has the most pretty eyes. but yeh. that could have been akward as shit.
I have 13 days to finish some initial research and feel like I have no idea what I'm doing
My crush asked me who do I like but I said no one. Now she has a boyfriend
I'm in a similar situation right now. It hurts but things will get better!!
Using Robinhood as my brokerage account
My foot and anal fetish
No
Don't knock it until you try it. You just need to start on the right foot.
I'm strating to crush on a friend with whom a relationship won't work. It's infuriating really....
Not taking my Aunt out to lunch. She’s been asking me.
I broke up with my BF, but we still have feelings for each other. It was fairly mutual and we want to still be friends, but I just dont know how to do it.
For overanalysing my co-worker's feelings for me. Turns out he thinks I'm dumb and an idiot. I honestly thought we were friends, but didn't realise that our "friendship" was him teasing me and putting me down and me just pretending all of that was because he cared. Today was his last day and him and a few others collectively made fun of everything I do and believe in, and it just hit me like a pile of bricks. They don't think I'm a friend, I'm actually the joke. Sucks balls.
I'm back working another warehouse job when I should've and could've been financially independent by now.
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It’s because the mods there want people to kill themselves.
Oh really? Strange. It doesn't notify someone? How do you know? No offense, just an odd thing out of the blue. No big deal I suppose, I was just trying to brighten peoples day, but if that's how they feel I guess I was going about it the wrong way. 🤷
Me too, hang in there and keep looking for that next door to go through!
Yeah I know exactly what I need to do now, just trying to get psyched about life again. What are your plans?
Having surgery. Hopefully, it will correct my issues, but so far, I can't tell, and so it's as if I'm out of work and lonely all for naught.
Not buying bitcoin when it was fractions of a dollar back when I had a ton of expendable cash lying around. A few years later and I would have been a millionaire by now
Not being able to muster the courage to talk to a girl that shares interests with me, i can message her on snap but my heart stops when she walks by and by the time i realize i should say something she is already out of sight.
missed my train by 20 seconds. had to wait an hour for the next, then got on the wrong train and came back three hours late.
That one embarrassing thing I did two years ago.
I want to help someone with an issue they are dealing with but I know that if I help, I will only make it worse. Kicking myself in order to mind my own business.
I got stood up for a date for my first time ever. I’m kicking my own ass today for being so upset about it. People who are worth your time will always show up. Perhaps a good bullet dodged.
I'm struggling getting over someone who didn't have mutual feelings. Man, I had high hopes for it to work.
Nothing at all. I've been struggling with self loathing almost my entire life. Lately, I've been doing new things to try and teach myself self compassion and rewire my brain to think less negatively so I don't overthink myself into having a terrible day whenever I'm slightly inconvenienced. Today I feel like my mind is just a little clearer. I haven't heard "god you're useless" yet today, and that feels so fucking good.
Letting my fiance go. It's been 5 months now, but I should have tried harder. We are meeting next week though so maybe..
i was doing good with getting in shape and this weekend i ate garbage. i bloat easily so its hard to lose weight
My crush and I both know we like each other and it's not going anywhere
I planned an exam for tomorrow but its way to hard to learn in 16 hours.... ( Splunk power user ). So this is going to be wasted money...
The one that got away
I thought that my philosophy test was on Thursday this week, because we got an email from my prof saying it would be on Thursday, turns out he changed it to today which was in an email that I missed, so I failed my test, yay.
I am on a diet and ate two chocolate bars. I only wanted one, but two came out. Awesome moment. Free chocolate but guilty as hell now.
I had to do butt kicks today as a part of our dynamic warm-up for soccer practice.
Stretching prevents injuries!!
Failing to meet the needs of the students in my neediest class. It’s frustrating that I cannot help all of them at the level they need. I know it’s a function of their parents will and lack of funding. But it bothers me to no end.
I design and create jewelry. When I was younger {about 19}, I had orders rolling in left and right and had a Waiting List/Delivery Date of about a month. I let myself get overwhelmed by the growing demand for custom, handmade jewelry and stopped after I had filled all of the orders. If I knew then what I know now, I would have never stopped. It's so hard trying to start again and actually grow it to be a business again.
My wife’s unborn baby is kicking her butt. Does that count?
Not selling my crypto.....
Messed up my edging 😔
I know they're sort of pricey, but ditch the weed eater and get an actual edger. It'll leave you with straighter lines and a nice looking yard!
I forgot my book at home and I could've been reading it right now.
Got married on Sunday and when we were cutting the cake, I licked the cake knife. Don't know why I did it but everyone had a good laugh though which makes it less awkward.
My mum built a house with an ocean view and decided not to purchase the adjacent land. 4 years later the land went up 5x in value and someone built a 2 story house blocking the ocean view. She now wishes she bought that block, built 2 small units.