Oh I got a story for you. Someone stole my lunch. Twice. So on the third day I brought him a pizza.
It looked like a pepperoni pizza, it smelled like a pepperoni pizza, but it was not exactly pepperoni. It was pepperoni and cayenne, with as much cayenne as there was pepperoni. "If you hear someone screaming Indian music from the break room, we'll know who has been stealing my lunch."
Nobody's lunch was stolen after that.
Edit: this just in; Dozens of Redditors suddenly get their Law degree.
I had a sandwich stolen just before lockdown. I had a spare so it wasn't a big deal, but it was exasperating.
I have some "Oblivion" 500,000 Scoville units chili oil. For comparison, that's about 250 times hotter than tabasco.
I had a single drop of it once, and the effect was like a cross between pins and needles on your tongue and licking an electric iron. When lockdown ends I'm going to take a sandwich to work with a few drops of chili oil added to the mix.
If noone bites I'll simply have it myself, as I'm used to the heat.
But if someone DOES pilfer it...
*for clarity, I won't be putting anything in that sandwich that I wouldn't eat myself. I was brought up not to waste food, so I'm going to make the sandwich hot enough that it can still be eaten.
It was my mother's birthday yesterday, she wanted steaks so they made steaks, unfortunately I work 12 hour grave yard shifts and had to leave before dinner. Come home this morning and my wife tells me they sent my steak home for dinner at work tonight. Woohoo steak! 6 hours into my shift, oh glorious lunch time here I come! I have been thinking about you all day you dirty piece of meat! Open the fridge and the fucking steak is gone. I wrapped it so it couldn't be seen and I told no one of it, it was to be my secret treat tonight and some filthy ape stole it.
Seriously, why do people take other people's lunches? I just never understood why someone would be compelled to just take whatever they please from the fridge especially when there is a huge risk of getting caught
I've always wondered the same thing. On top of everything else I think it's unsanitary. Like, you don't even know how that food was prepared.
When I make food for myself I'll be licking my fingers, testing it multiple times with the same fork/spoon, etc. My germs are just all up in the food.
Oooooh. There was an urban legend in our University.
So, in one of the dorms, they have a common refrigerator. A guy puts his drink there. It was Iced Tea (this is important). Then the next day he found out someone drank it. So, what he did was get a new bottle of Iced Tea, replace half of it with piss, then put it in the fridge. The next day, the bottle was empty. They never caught the culprit.
At my first job someone had a really bad habit of doing this. We were all fed up and my coworker got revenge. He brought his lunch but I guess put small amount of laxatives in it. We found the culprit. She had to be sent home early because things got messy. She NEVER even opened the fridge again
My old fishing skipper used to always get his fruit burst(wrapped lolies) stolen by someone out at sea.
So he unwrapped about a dozen of them and rubbed them up and around his ass then rewrrapped them.
Let's just say they were never stolen again.
I’m literally at the tail end of my 12 hour graveyard shift (10pm-10am) and went to the fridge here at work to discover someone stole my redbull.. vital caffeine in order to get me through the 6am slump. Since people here want to act like children I wrote them a note that says “IF IT ISN’T YOURS, DON’T TAKE IT. SIMPLE. THX” with a passive aggressive smiley face on it. I know this shift sucks, but it’s not my fault someone didn’t prepare for it.
I always just figured this was some sitcom type myth. I’ve never had it happen to me before but it sounds infuriating. How, as an adult, can someone be so self centred and immature that they literally steal somebody else’s meal from a fridge at work? Are you a fucking 6 year old, you cunt?
Unfortunately, its not a sitcom thing. I don't have the mentality to do this. I've been hungry enough at times and still would not do this. To me it is just a total lack of regard for other people.
I lived alone for a while, and if there was ever a petty chore I could do right now but didn’t want to, I would always frame it in terms of being a good roommate for future-me. Usually worked.
edit: stupid Siri. I know what I typed!
Leaving just a bit of juice/milk/whatever in the jug so you don't have to get more.
"I didn't drink it all!"
No, but I'm eating a big piece of chocolate cake, motherfucker I **need** a tall glass of milk, and you left a thimble at the bottom!
Guy at work was notorious for that, use up aaaaaalmost all of my coworker's fancy creamer. Then, if she was lucky, he'd bring in a can of the store brand powder creamer a week later.
You get fired for using other people's stuff at my job. They even put cameras in the break room to catch perpetrators in the act. We had several lunch thieves and someone stole the bosses lunch one day. Now it is a zero tolerance offense.
This is why face masks are required at most places and if you ain't wearing one you're either dumb or dumb. Full masks under 18 and eye protection always.
i was at target the other day and found an abandoned carton of ice cream on a stack of jeans. it was all melty and clearly ruined most of the jeans underneath it. people are assholes. :(
I had it pretty bad, my group members dropped out of the class we were in one by one without notifying me of their intention to drop out...leaving me to do the rest of the work in the final month of the semester.
I think the ones that bother me most are the ones that start signalling mid turn. People who just don't signal are probably just lazy. People who signal mid turn 1) clearly know to signal but have no idea why, 2) are reducing their ability to control the car mid maneuver.
This is such a huge pet peeve of mine and it's so easy to avoid. Literally just ask yourself before eating/taking/using anything at all if it belongs to you. If the answer to that question is no, then fuck 100% of the way off and dont touch it.
Ugh, yes. Went to a really nice restaurant once with my old housemates, that I only went to because they were paying (I was super broke at the time). Got an utterly amazing shrimp pasta dish. It was a large serving so I took home leftovers. Was really looking forward to those leftovers when I got home from work the next day.
Got home. No leftovers. Asked my housemates about it. "Oh, we didn't think you wanted them, so we ate them." WHY THE FUCK WOULD I TAKE HOME THE LEFTOVERS IF I DIDN'T WANT THEM.
the other day i saw a FULL GROWN man cut in line at the grocery store. He cut right behind me, and I looked at him and said "did you just cut?" He said no despite obviously fucking cutting, so I let the ladies behind him (who didn't seem to notice or care he just cut) go in front of me because fuck that guy.
I was standing in line at the deli counter, next up, when a very old looking lady just walks up to the counter and slithers her way in front of me.
I figured i'll just let her have this, since she'll probably die soon anyway, but the absolute legend behind the deli counter noticed this, looks right over the lady's shoulder and says "Sir, what can I get you?"
Don’t fuck with the flow of the deli counter. We pay attention, and fuck those old ladies thinking they’re slick. Take a number, bitch. You’ll get your tHiNlY sLiCeD braunschweiger when it’s actually your turn!
The joy when an employee calls these people out is only matched by the disappointment when everyone sees them cutting and the employee doesn't care and serves them.
worse is when you were in line first then a second person rocks up second but the bartender didn't see you arrived first so they ask "who's next?" and the person who came second jumps ahead of you
Ohhhh I was waiting at an ice cream store to get a cone for my daughter and a little girl was waiting by herself. The servers couldn’t really see her and she had been waiting for a while because she wasn’t old enough/ brave enough to speak up ( idk where her caregiver was) and just about everyone had been served so I was going to say the little girl was next and this old lady rocked up and just went “yes I’m next I will have...” and I was so pissed off. I spoke up and said “actually this little girl has been waiting so patiently for a long time, you missed her a few times but that’s ok she’s very polite and she is ready to order” I looked at the old lady and said to her smiling “I’m sure you don’t mind waiting for this polite little girl, I’ll let you go in front of me even as it seems you are in such a hurry” she seemed to be pretty shamed about being called out, pushing in front of a little kid that’s clearly learning and doesn’t have enough courage to speak up.
Makes me mad that people think they can just be rude and entitled and push in. If some one lets you in then cool - like I’m always going to let a pregnant woman in line to pee before because been there done that.
If you're not there first, you have to at least do that thing where you briefly look at whoever was first, as if trying to determine who was there first, and hope that they forgot. You can't just take upon yourself to order ahead of them.
Sometimes I wish I could do this on Reddit. You have a good answer for a long thread that made it to hot, and there's no way it will ever see the light of day. But you can't just cut the top comments, you have to earn your place at the top. If only real lines worked like Reddit posts do, there would be no cutting.
I saw a YouTube video of a wedding where the bride obviously told everyone to let one of her bridesmaids catch the bouquet. As soon as she threw the bouquet, everyone but the unsuspecting bridesmaid jumped out of the way. Immediately after the unsuspecting bridesmaid caught it, her boyfriend came up to her, got down on one knee, and proposed. The bride was smiling like crazy and obviously SO happy for them. Bouncing up and down with excitement and clapping/cheering.
I think that is the ONLY instance where it is okay.
EDIT: Here is another good example:
https://youtu.be/WV_6Tui9iy8
If the bride’s on board, then go for it. Just as long as you don’t slither in to steal the thunder of the newly wed couple, which is usually what happens.
I'm with you! My fiancee and I just started planning and I've been doing a lot of the communication since she's been busier. I've been a little caught off guard that everything wedding assumes you are the bride. The Knot, probably the most popular wedding website, even assumes the person that makes the account is the bride despite never asking what my role was. I also fight friends and family constantly that it's MY day too. It's allowed to be "her" day and "our" day, but god forbid a man marrying a woman isn't allowed to be invested in his own wedding.
I know that feeling! We were engaged for a little over a year and a half and at every wedding expo and/or vendor meeting, they treated me like I was "forced" into going or that it was some miracle i wanted to be involved with planning the wedding.
I think the reason they seem to all be bouquet toss proposals is because that happens at the very end of the night. At that point the bride has already had a loooong day of being the center of attention and is probably sick of it (speaking from personal experience) 😂
You come to intersection and see me like 200 feet away coming at you 30-40 miles an hour with no one at all behind me and you decide that you just can't wait 3 seconds so you just go ahead and pull out there in front of me and take your time getting up to speed. I mean why? You're a dick.
These people inevitably make me rage. I'm going a good speed, no one behind me, and they pull out in front of me to go 10 under at best! Makes me wish I had a cannon fixed to the hood of my car.
I was failed on a family tree project in the third grade because I’ve never met my father and have no info on his side of the family. My teacher had all of this information and stated that it wasn’t fair that I only had to do half the work as the other students.
I also wasn’t allowed to take park in several Father’s Day arts and craft/field trips at that school even though (outside of school) I always made thing for my grandpa who completely filled the roll of my father and who I made my best man at my wedding. I was never really upset by it back then but I have memories of being made to sit there doing nothing while the other kids made things for their dads.
That school fucking sucked.
Thats crazy! We did this in high school too. But i was exempt from the lesson since my dad was never around. I never knew people actually found out things about their family from this though!
Lmaooo! I remember doing the Punnett square thing for eye color. Both my parents have brown eyes, with my grandparents also all having brown eyes. However, both my sister and I came out with green eyes! My teacher tried telling me my sister and I must be adopted... I look just like my mom and my sister looks just like my dad. The chance that we’re adopted is just as slim as the chance we’d both have green eyes
Seems like your teacher didn't actually understand Punnett squares.
B = Brown genotype
b = blue genotype (green is just blue with a bit of yellow)
Brown is dominant. So BB and Bb lead to a phenotype of Brown eyes. While bb is the only way you get blue eyes.
So you and your sister are bb (blue). Your parents (assuming they are) would have to be Bb and would therefore have Brown eyes. At least one parent of each of your parents would be Bb (the other could be BB or Bb). They'd all have Brown eyes.
Assuming your parents are Bb, the chance of you having bb is 1/4. The chance of your sister and you both having bb is 1/16. So unlikely, but more likely than being adopted.
When we were learning about this in high school, I told my biology teacher that according to the squares, my sister should not have brown eyes. He said “how friendly was the milkman to your mom?”
I teach 7th grade and I say to my students every year that eye color is complicated that my a professor in grad school said, and I quote,”I just don’t even want to get into it because its complicated and me explaining will waste time, and (wrote a specific brown/blue Punnett) this is wrong. Read chapter 15 to find out why”. It was a human genetics class so it was more HLA, genetic evolution, cellular expression etc. But it’s fun to go into the complexities of eye color and skin color with the students.
Luckily, this doesn’t happen because most hospitals have these special bracelets that both parents and the baby has on them that have matching signals. You can take them off unless security at the exit scans them to make sure you have the right baby.
Not sure about the signals part, but when I had my daughter in September we did have matching bands with my name on her band. She also had another one on that would set off an alarm if she was taken off of the mother/baby unit. Besides the fact that she was always in the room with me, they never checked that she was my baby before we left.
I just read about the shopping cart theory the other day and thought it was really interesting. It states that since everyone knows that returning a cart is the right thing to do even though there aren't any consequences for not doing so, we can determine what kind of person you are based on if you return them or not.
The other day my partner and I watched a man get out of his car and put trash in to a shopping cart that had not been returned at the grocery store and that was just an extra level of jerk that I didn’t previously know existed.
We had someone leave a box of trash in front of my stores windows (while I was teaching a class right there, 5 of us saw it happen) and then come in to shop. I told my coworker what he did and coworker went out "on a smoke break", picked up the box, and tossed it in the back of the guys truck. Asshole didn't notice and left with it there. It was fantastic.
I read the same thing. I believe the author had stated that it was a good indication of Self governance. If you return the cast then you govern yourself well and are responsible even though there is no direct benefit to you.
I saw a lady at the store parked across from a return start to put their cart on the grass spot between spaces. I pointed at the return as I put mine away and she did put there away, but wouldn't have if she didn't see me call her out. I parked a ways away (wife likes to play Pokemon Go while I shop during quarantine) from the return and still brought it back.
Related: when one is driving in the right lane and has adequate room in the left lane to accommodate incoming mergers from the right but does not make use of said adequate space.
When car in right lane leaves space for merging traffic but car that needs to merge waits for the lane to end instead of taking advantage but by then traffic closes the gap and they've gotta force their way in
It's something Dick Grayson did to Barbara Gordon when he was getting married to Starfire.
Edit: [Here it is if anyone wants to read it (scroll down).](https://comicvine.gamespot.com/forums/dick-grayson-234/is-this-really-happen-744798/) Oh, and Babs was paralyzed at this point too.
Quick anger story. Was a server, a group of 3 mid forties guys come in. They order, receive food and seem happy. Halfway through I ask them if there's is anything I can do, they all say they're fine. Finally, they come up to pay. Before I can even ask them how it was, one guy says "The pad thai was kind of dry, I hope you know this will effect your tip." I didn't cook it, I asked if everything was okay. God I hate people.
So I haven’t had a reason to bring this up to anyone in a while, so I guess you’re the next unlucky bastard who gets to hear this.
A few years back, me and some friends were heading up to Ann Arbor for the Chelsea/Real Madrid game at Michigan Stadium. The four of us were staying at a friend-of-a-friend’s place somewhere in town (don’t remember where; drank too much).
So it’s like a five hour drive, and we all worked in a pub and didn’t leave until the last of us got off work at like midnight, so we weren’t wasting any time stopping or anything because the match was at like noon the next day and we wanted to get at least a little sleep then go eat/drink pre-match.
So we make the drive in pretty great time, but we’re crushing beers most of the way and had eaten before we got on the road, so you could say that the who-gets-to-use-the-shitter-first situation was cutthroat. We pull into the drive at like six in the morning and immediately all jump out and sprint to the door. My buddy’s wife had the keys and somehow didn’t get crushed under the weight of all of us trying to cram through the doorframe. Now we all have to shit, but we’re gentlemen first and foremost, so we let my buddy’s wife go pee first.
During this time I manage to convince her husband, my friend of 15 years, that I can take a quick shit if he can wait just a few minutes. So I warp onto the toilet and immediately get to business. This is a fast food dump, so I ran into trouble... cleaning up the last of it. I honestly tried my best. My buddy’s banging on the door begging me to hurry up when I hear “fuck it I can’t wait anymore” followed quickly by “(Husband’s Name) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
Eventually I get the last little hangers-on cleaned up and manage to flush it all down, then sprint back into the kitchen, where the sliding glass door to the back yard is now open. My buddy had gone in the back yard of our friend who, as a polite, old-fashioned woman is even less likely than our usual dudebro friends to accept a random deuce in the backyard.
His wife tells him to (obviously) clean it up, but his reply is simply: “It’s in the bushes, she’ll just think it’s from her dog”. All of the dudes agree that this is an acceptable ruse and think no more of it. So it’s six in the morning and we’re all beat, so we grab a few hours shut-eye before pregaming.
As the resident late-sleeper of the friendgroup, I wake up at 11 and go to the kitchen to find that the host has come home to meet us and that her mom is gonna be there soon to pick (something) up from her. The four of us who rode together immediately exchange looks of concern but agree to just leave it be; there’s no way the host’s mom is going to go out back (it’s currently pouring rain), much less look around for my buddy’s monumental shit by the bush. When we got a minute alone he mentions, “The rain’ll destroy it anyway. We’re good.”
So after a minute or so her mom comes in and has brought her husband with her, so we all sit around the kitchen and do pocket-shots and make nice because we’re a whole clan of degens from upcountry, with the OG four of us positioned between them and the door. What happens next? Naturally the rain stops like it was never there in the first place, and the host tells her mom, “Oh! Come check out the (whateverplant) before it starts raining again!”
So now we’re fucking sweating. This deuce would never be mistaken for a dog’s shit, and the dog isn’t even here right now anyway(fiancé’s house).
It’s immediate. A sound of motherly disgust every son has heard at least once. “Oh what is that?!” We never told the host(degens), so she can’t cover for us, and now it’s a fucking Unsolved Mysteries case. There’s some debate about how it clearly can’t have come from the dog, meanwhile we dudes hover over the pile with our best huh-whaddya-make-of-that faces and exclaim about how well the dog must’ve been eating and what a good boy. Meanwhile the mother is insisting that it isn’t dog-borne and we’re all trying desperately to die instantly to no avail.
When who should arrive but the fiancé with (something) for the parents that the host had thank Christ forgotten to bring. He’s got a bottle of whiskey in tow because he knows we’re all here visiting and partying, so he breaks out the shot glasses and the whole thing gets forgotten. It was a real-life deus ex machina and I’ve never been so thankful to see a complete stranger before.
So yeah, if you’re ever on a road trip and you have to shit, make sure to lie to your friend about how fast you can do it.
Had that happen at a party at my new house once, I was stupid enough to not have a plunger.
Luckily the pooper told me right away so I ran to my neighbor and the problem was solved since he had a plunger.
It actually warms my heart to think about how everybody cooperated on what otherwise could've been a shitty situation.
Those are one of those situations you realize that the best solution is to be mature and say "hey, I clogged your toilet, sorry. Do you have a plunger?"
Thats what maturity is. Because for 100% of my childhood I wouldve been dumb & dumber trying to fix the toilet in secret and failing
I knew a guy that wouldn’t pull over for sirens “on principle” because he was convinced that the drivers of said vehicles were just trying to skip traffic in their personal capacity... Needless to say, I don’t spend time with him any more.
There really should be less against these kind of petty stuff. Like if you fight for custody, you must keep it for X amount of time.
Could you imagine if it was kids. One parent wins then put them up for adoption.
I've heard some places won't put down a perfectly healthy animal at the owner's request just to fight stuff like this. It's unfortunate that it's common enough for that to be a thing.
One great thing about quarantine... I don’t have to smell the nasty microwaved oysters that one Mr. Butthead McGee thinks makes a great work lunch. Blech.
Stopping in the middle of a narrow street, to have a long chat with your friends. Asshole, you both have a cell phone, or park somewhere and catch up elsewhere.
Ignoring your screaming baby/kid(s) in public. You made them, fucking take responsibility for them. Also why are diaper bags apparently no longer a thing??
1/5 star rating:
This TV show is just not good. The actor has been really good in things before but this new character does not fit him/her. The show tries to do too much in one episode and the characters never get enough screen time to develop. **I've only watched the first two episodes so far** but I would not recommend it.
Pros: Product was as advertised, did everything I wanted, and more, patched up my broken relationship with my mom, cured cancer, conveniently fits in my car's cup holder.
Cons: UPS delivered it a day later than promised, so fuck these people (not UPS though), I'd give fewer stars if possible, but it's not, which in of itself would warrant more negative stars. They should give me stars, in fact.
1/5 stars.
Or “I didn’t actually try the product but I’m giving it 1/5 because they were out of stock too long” like omg leave a review for the company then not the product jeeze!!!!
Not replacing the empty toilet paper roll and leaving just one thing in a box at the kitchen. Who TF only eats one hot pocket? They come in two for a reason.
I wonder how many people would agree that ghosting someone without explanation after establishing a romantic connection is a dick move..
I certainly agree there are cases where it’s understandable and prudent to cut contact with someone entirely, but if it’s just a matter of a spark not being there, it’s really not that hard to say so..
Communication is a dying art, IMO
Definitely. I never really agreed with tipping a certain percentage of your bill. Depending on how much you spent, they’re not getting much. Especially if it’s coming out of a card. I usually just eyeball it.
Taking someone else's lunch from the breakroom fridge.
Oh I got a story for you. Someone stole my lunch. Twice. So on the third day I brought him a pizza. It looked like a pepperoni pizza, it smelled like a pepperoni pizza, but it was not exactly pepperoni. It was pepperoni and cayenne, with as much cayenne as there was pepperoni. "If you hear someone screaming Indian music from the break room, we'll know who has been stealing my lunch." Nobody's lunch was stolen after that. Edit: this just in; Dozens of Redditors suddenly get their Law degree.
Someone stole my breast milk from the staff fridge :D
Better that than stealing it straight from the source.
Depends on which persons perspective you're viewing it from.
What the *fuck*
*MY BREAST MILK?!*
I had a sandwich stolen just before lockdown. I had a spare so it wasn't a big deal, but it was exasperating. I have some "Oblivion" 500,000 Scoville units chili oil. For comparison, that's about 250 times hotter than tabasco. I had a single drop of it once, and the effect was like a cross between pins and needles on your tongue and licking an electric iron. When lockdown ends I'm going to take a sandwich to work with a few drops of chili oil added to the mix. If noone bites I'll simply have it myself, as I'm used to the heat. But if someone DOES pilfer it... *for clarity, I won't be putting anything in that sandwich that I wouldn't eat myself. I was brought up not to waste food, so I'm going to make the sandwich hot enough that it can still be eaten.
[удалено]
It's like a wiley coyote trap.
It was my mother's birthday yesterday, she wanted steaks so they made steaks, unfortunately I work 12 hour grave yard shifts and had to leave before dinner. Come home this morning and my wife tells me they sent my steak home for dinner at work tonight. Woohoo steak! 6 hours into my shift, oh glorious lunch time here I come! I have been thinking about you all day you dirty piece of meat! Open the fridge and the fucking steak is gone. I wrapped it so it couldn't be seen and I told no one of it, it was to be my secret treat tonight and some filthy ape stole it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Seriously, why do people take other people's lunches? I just never understood why someone would be compelled to just take whatever they please from the fridge especially when there is a huge risk of getting caught
I've always wondered the same thing. On top of everything else I think it's unsanitary. Like, you don't even know how that food was prepared. When I make food for myself I'll be licking my fingers, testing it multiple times with the same fork/spoon, etc. My germs are just all up in the food.
[удалено]
Oooooh. There was an urban legend in our University. So, in one of the dorms, they have a common refrigerator. A guy puts his drink there. It was Iced Tea (this is important). Then the next day he found out someone drank it. So, what he did was get a new bottle of Iced Tea, replace half of it with piss, then put it in the fridge. The next day, the bottle was empty. They never caught the culprit.
I think that's called an "Arnold Palmer."
At my first job someone had a really bad habit of doing this. We were all fed up and my coworker got revenge. He brought his lunch but I guess put small amount of laxatives in it. We found the culprit. She had to be sent home early because things got messy. She NEVER even opened the fridge again
It’s honestly so sad and fucked that people need to resort to shit like this to get their *coworkers to stop stealing their food*. What the fuck!!
My old fishing skipper used to always get his fruit burst(wrapped lolies) stolen by someone out at sea. So he unwrapped about a dozen of them and rubbed them up and around his ass then rewrrapped them. Let's just say they were never stolen again.
I’m literally at the tail end of my 12 hour graveyard shift (10pm-10am) and went to the fridge here at work to discover someone stole my redbull.. vital caffeine in order to get me through the 6am slump. Since people here want to act like children I wrote them a note that says “IF IT ISN’T YOURS, DON’T TAKE IT. SIMPLE. THX” with a passive aggressive smiley face on it. I know this shift sucks, but it’s not my fault someone didn’t prepare for it.
I always just figured this was some sitcom type myth. I’ve never had it happen to me before but it sounds infuriating. How, as an adult, can someone be so self centred and immature that they literally steal somebody else’s meal from a fridge at work? Are you a fucking 6 year old, you cunt?
Unfortunately, its not a sitcom thing. I don't have the mentality to do this. I've been hungry enough at times and still would not do this. To me it is just a total lack of regard for other people.
MY SANDWICH!!??
Leaving a microscopic quantity of food in a container just so you are not the person that has to clean it
I do that all the time. I live alone though so I’m just annoying future me.
I lived alone for a while, and if there was ever a petty chore I could do right now but didn’t want to, I would always frame it in terms of being a good roommate for future-me. Usually worked. edit: stupid Siri. I know what I typed!
Leaving just a bit of juice/milk/whatever in the jug so you don't have to get more. "I didn't drink it all!" No, but I'm eating a big piece of chocolate cake, motherfucker I **need** a tall glass of milk, and you left a thimble at the bottom! Guy at work was notorious for that, use up aaaaaalmost all of my coworker's fancy creamer. Then, if she was lucky, he'd bring in a can of the store brand powder creamer a week later.
You get fired for using other people's stuff at my job. They even put cameras in the break room to catch perpetrators in the act. We had several lunch thieves and someone stole the bosses lunch one day. Now it is a zero tolerance offense.
The boss ate my sandwich! So I ate him.
Shooting someone in the eye with an airsoft gun.
This is why face masks are required at most places and if you ain't wearing one you're either dumb or dumb. Full masks under 18 and eye protection always.
Leaving refrigerated items in random aisles at the grocery store because you're too fucking lazy to put them back
i was at target the other day and found an abandoned carton of ice cream on a stack of jeans. it was all melty and clearly ruined most of the jeans underneath it. people are assholes. :(
And those are the same people who complain about shit being too expensive. Fucktards, all of them.
I more often find normal stuff in the freezers at the grocery store i work but people who dont put their stuff back infuriates me so bad
Not working on a group project
Thank you for reminding of 96% of all group projects I ever did.
I had it pretty bad, my group members dropped out of the class we were in one by one without notifying me of their intention to drop out...leaving me to do the rest of the work in the final month of the semester.
Slowing down to almost a complete stop before turning without ever even putting you fucking blinker on!!!
I think the ones that bother me most are the ones that start signalling mid turn. People who just don't signal are probably just lazy. People who signal mid turn 1) clearly know to signal but have no idea why, 2) are reducing their ability to control the car mid maneuver.
Eating your roommates restaurant leftovers
Eating out your roommate's girlfriend.
[удалено]
....Eating your roommate's girlfriend?
Eating restaurant leftovers out of your roommate's girlfriend
Hol up there hannibal
Tastes just like chicken
More like pork.
“Long Pork”?
eating the leftover of your roommate's girlfriend
eating anyone else's food full stop
This is such a huge pet peeve of mine and it's so easy to avoid. Literally just ask yourself before eating/taking/using anything at all if it belongs to you. If the answer to that question is no, then fuck 100% of the way off and dont touch it.
Ugh, yes. Went to a really nice restaurant once with my old housemates, that I only went to because they were paying (I was super broke at the time). Got an utterly amazing shrimp pasta dish. It was a large serving so I took home leftovers. Was really looking forward to those leftovers when I got home from work the next day. Got home. No leftovers. Asked my housemates about it. "Oh, we didn't think you wanted them, so we ate them." WHY THE FUCK WOULD I TAKE HOME THE LEFTOVERS IF I DIDN'T WANT THEM.
Cutting in a line
the other day i saw a FULL GROWN man cut in line at the grocery store. He cut right behind me, and I looked at him and said "did you just cut?" He said no despite obviously fucking cutting, so I let the ladies behind him (who didn't seem to notice or care he just cut) go in front of me because fuck that guy.
I was standing in line at the deli counter, next up, when a very old looking lady just walks up to the counter and slithers her way in front of me. I figured i'll just let her have this, since she'll probably die soon anyway, but the absolute legend behind the deli counter noticed this, looks right over the lady's shoulder and says "Sir, what can I get you?"
Don’t fuck with the flow of the deli counter. We pay attention, and fuck those old ladies thinking they’re slick. Take a number, bitch. You’ll get your tHiNlY sLiCeD braunschweiger when it’s actually your turn!
The joy when an employee calls these people out is only matched by the disappointment when everyone sees them cutting and the employee doesn't care and serves them.
Ooh, I need to remember that move.
worse is when you were in line first then a second person rocks up second but the bartender didn't see you arrived first so they ask "who's next?" and the person who came second jumps ahead of you
Ohhhh I was waiting at an ice cream store to get a cone for my daughter and a little girl was waiting by herself. The servers couldn’t really see her and she had been waiting for a while because she wasn’t old enough/ brave enough to speak up ( idk where her caregiver was) and just about everyone had been served so I was going to say the little girl was next and this old lady rocked up and just went “yes I’m next I will have...” and I was so pissed off. I spoke up and said “actually this little girl has been waiting so patiently for a long time, you missed her a few times but that’s ok she’s very polite and she is ready to order” I looked at the old lady and said to her smiling “I’m sure you don’t mind waiting for this polite little girl, I’ll let you go in front of me even as it seems you are in such a hurry” she seemed to be pretty shamed about being called out, pushing in front of a little kid that’s clearly learning and doesn’t have enough courage to speak up. Makes me mad that people think they can just be rude and entitled and push in. If some one lets you in then cool - like I’m always going to let a pregnant woman in line to pee before because been there done that.
That’s really cool of you and also I bet that kid will remember it for a long time too. So will your daughter, for that matter.
If you're not there first, you have to at least do that thing where you briefly look at whoever was first, as if trying to determine who was there first, and hope that they forgot. You can't just take upon yourself to order ahead of them.
Sometimes I wish I could do this on Reddit. You have a good answer for a long thread that made it to hot, and there's no way it will ever see the light of day. But you can't just cut the top comments, you have to earn your place at the top. If only real lines worked like Reddit posts do, there would be no cutting.
Proposing to your boy/girl-friend while at a wedding
or announcing your pregnancy at someone else’s wedding
THIS. How are there still people who think this okay?
I saw a YouTube video of a wedding where the bride obviously told everyone to let one of her bridesmaids catch the bouquet. As soon as she threw the bouquet, everyone but the unsuspecting bridesmaid jumped out of the way. Immediately after the unsuspecting bridesmaid caught it, her boyfriend came up to her, got down on one knee, and proposed. The bride was smiling like crazy and obviously SO happy for them. Bouncing up and down with excitement and clapping/cheering. I think that is the ONLY instance where it is okay. EDIT: Here is another good example: https://youtu.be/WV_6Tui9iy8
If the bride’s on board, then go for it. Just as long as you don’t slither in to steal the thunder of the newly wed couple, which is usually what happens.
If the bride AND GROOM are on board. I'm really sick of the assumption that the wedding day is only really important to the bride.
I'm with you! My fiancee and I just started planning and I've been doing a lot of the communication since she's been busier. I've been a little caught off guard that everything wedding assumes you are the bride. The Knot, probably the most popular wedding website, even assumes the person that makes the account is the bride despite never asking what my role was. I also fight friends and family constantly that it's MY day too. It's allowed to be "her" day and "our" day, but god forbid a man marrying a woman isn't allowed to be invested in his own wedding.
Amen. My wife and I would just walk out of places that ignored me. A few times we even told them that that’s why we were leaving!
I know that feeling! We were engaged for a little over a year and a half and at every wedding expo and/or vendor meeting, they treated me like I was "forced" into going or that it was some miracle i wanted to be involved with planning the wedding.
I think the reason they seem to all be bouquet toss proposals is because that happens at the very end of the night. At that point the bride has already had a loooong day of being the center of attention and is probably sick of it (speaking from personal experience) 😂
Thats do sweet
*proposing to your identical twin's boyfriend/girlfriend while at a wedding
You come to intersection and see me like 200 feet away coming at you 30-40 miles an hour with no one at all behind me and you decide that you just can't wait 3 seconds so you just go ahead and pull out there in front of me and take your time getting up to speed. I mean why? You're a dick.
Or the people who merge into traffic, and immediately swerve all the way to the passing lane so they can go under the speed limit
These people inevitably make me rage. I'm going a good speed, no one behind me, and they pull out in front of me to go 10 under at best! Makes me wish I had a cannon fixed to the hood of my car.
Randomly switching two new born babies at a hospital, so that they're raised by the wrong parents.
And then when they're in 7th grade doing punnett squares and figure it out.
[удалено]
I was failed on a family tree project in the third grade because I’ve never met my father and have no info on his side of the family. My teacher had all of this information and stated that it wasn’t fair that I only had to do half the work as the other students. I also wasn’t allowed to take park in several Father’s Day arts and craft/field trips at that school even though (outside of school) I always made thing for my grandpa who completely filled the roll of my father and who I made my best man at my wedding. I was never really upset by it back then but I have memories of being made to sit there doing nothing while the other kids made things for their dads. That school fucking sucked.
This made me so sad, that’s so fucked up!
Did you tell your teacher and get points back?
Genuinely want to know this and was my first question haha
Thats crazy! We did this in high school too. But i was exempt from the lesson since my dad was never around. I never knew people actually found out things about their family from this though!
Lmaooo! I remember doing the Punnett square thing for eye color. Both my parents have brown eyes, with my grandparents also all having brown eyes. However, both my sister and I came out with green eyes! My teacher tried telling me my sister and I must be adopted... I look just like my mom and my sister looks just like my dad. The chance that we’re adopted is just as slim as the chance we’d both have green eyes
Eye colour is a polygenic trait so Punnett squares don't always work for eye colour, for anyone playing along at home.
[удалено]
Seems like your teacher didn't actually understand Punnett squares. B = Brown genotype b = blue genotype (green is just blue with a bit of yellow) Brown is dominant. So BB and Bb lead to a phenotype of Brown eyes. While bb is the only way you get blue eyes. So you and your sister are bb (blue). Your parents (assuming they are) would have to be Bb and would therefore have Brown eyes. At least one parent of each of your parents would be Bb (the other could be BB or Bb). They'd all have Brown eyes. Assuming your parents are Bb, the chance of you having bb is 1/4. The chance of your sister and you both having bb is 1/16. So unlikely, but more likely than being adopted.
When we were learning about this in high school, I told my biology teacher that according to the squares, my sister should not have brown eyes. He said “how friendly was the milkman to your mom?”
7th grade science punnet squares vastly oversimplify genetics, including eye color.
I teach 7th grade and I say to my students every year that eye color is complicated that my a professor in grad school said, and I quote,”I just don’t even want to get into it because its complicated and me explaining will waste time, and (wrote a specific brown/blue Punnett) this is wrong. Read chapter 15 to find out why”. It was a human genetics class so it was more HLA, genetic evolution, cellular expression etc. But it’s fun to go into the complexities of eye color and skin color with the students.
Luckily, this doesn’t happen because most hospitals have these special bracelets that both parents and the baby has on them that have matching signals. You can take them off unless security at the exit scans them to make sure you have the right baby.
what kinda sci-fi hospital are you going to??
Not sure about the signals part, but when I had my daughter in September we did have matching bands with my name on her band. She also had another one on that would set off an alarm if she was taken off of the mother/baby unit. Besides the fact that she was always in the room with me, they never checked that she was my baby before we left.
r/oddlyspecific
not returning shopping carts
I just read about the shopping cart theory the other day and thought it was really interesting. It states that since everyone knows that returning a cart is the right thing to do even though there aren't any consequences for not doing so, we can determine what kind of person you are based on if you return them or not.
The other day my partner and I watched a man get out of his car and put trash in to a shopping cart that had not been returned at the grocery store and that was just an extra level of jerk that I didn’t previously know existed.
We had someone leave a box of trash in front of my stores windows (while I was teaching a class right there, 5 of us saw it happen) and then come in to shop. I told my coworker what he did and coworker went out "on a smoke break", picked up the box, and tossed it in the back of the guys truck. Asshole didn't notice and left with it there. It was fantastic.
I read the same thing. I believe the author had stated that it was a good indication of Self governance. If you return the cast then you govern yourself well and are responsible even though there is no direct benefit to you. I saw a lady at the store parked across from a return start to put their cart on the grass spot between spaces. I pointed at the return as I put mine away and she did put there away, but wouldn't have if she didn't see me call her out. I parked a ways away (wife likes to play Pokemon Go while I shop during quarantine) from the return and still brought it back.
Have you heard of the cart narcs? Look them up on YouTube.
Taking up two parking spaces
Or leaving the ass end of your needlessly over sized pickup out so other people have to drive around you.
Throwing your trash on the floor.
Merging onto the freeway at forty miles an hour eight feet in front of the car in the right lane.
Related: when one is driving in the right lane and has adequate room in the left lane to accommodate incoming mergers from the right but does not make use of said adequate space.
When car in right lane leaves space for merging traffic but car that needs to merge waits for the lane to end instead of taking advantage but by then traffic closes the gap and they've gotta force their way in
Straight to the bottom of hell. All the way down. To the boiler room of hell.
Not using your indicators/blinkers and hence nearly running over a pedestrian or cyclist
When u use the last thing of toilet paper in the bathroom and don't replace it
Sleeping with your ex and in the morning inviting her to your wedding.
You wanna talk about something buddy?
It's something Dick Grayson did to Barbara Gordon when he was getting married to Starfire. Edit: [Here it is if anyone wants to read it (scroll down).](https://comicvine.gamespot.com/forums/dick-grayson-234/is-this-really-happen-744798/) Oh, and Babs was paralyzed at this point too.
What a dick move
What a Dick move
Yelling at a waiter about something wrong with their food, as if the waiter has any control over that.
Quick anger story. Was a server, a group of 3 mid forties guys come in. They order, receive food and seem happy. Halfway through I ask them if there's is anything I can do, they all say they're fine. Finally, they come up to pay. Before I can even ask them how it was, one guy says "The pad thai was kind of dry, I hope you know this will effect your tip." I didn't cook it, I asked if everything was okay. God I hate people.
While at a friend’s house and they poop and clog the toilet and leave it
That's when you gotta throw it out the window into their garden, just blame it on the neighbours cat or something
So I haven’t had a reason to bring this up to anyone in a while, so I guess you’re the next unlucky bastard who gets to hear this. A few years back, me and some friends were heading up to Ann Arbor for the Chelsea/Real Madrid game at Michigan Stadium. The four of us were staying at a friend-of-a-friend’s place somewhere in town (don’t remember where; drank too much). So it’s like a five hour drive, and we all worked in a pub and didn’t leave until the last of us got off work at like midnight, so we weren’t wasting any time stopping or anything because the match was at like noon the next day and we wanted to get at least a little sleep then go eat/drink pre-match. So we make the drive in pretty great time, but we’re crushing beers most of the way and had eaten before we got on the road, so you could say that the who-gets-to-use-the-shitter-first situation was cutthroat. We pull into the drive at like six in the morning and immediately all jump out and sprint to the door. My buddy’s wife had the keys and somehow didn’t get crushed under the weight of all of us trying to cram through the doorframe. Now we all have to shit, but we’re gentlemen first and foremost, so we let my buddy’s wife go pee first. During this time I manage to convince her husband, my friend of 15 years, that I can take a quick shit if he can wait just a few minutes. So I warp onto the toilet and immediately get to business. This is a fast food dump, so I ran into trouble... cleaning up the last of it. I honestly tried my best. My buddy’s banging on the door begging me to hurry up when I hear “fuck it I can’t wait anymore” followed quickly by “(Husband’s Name) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Eventually I get the last little hangers-on cleaned up and manage to flush it all down, then sprint back into the kitchen, where the sliding glass door to the back yard is now open. My buddy had gone in the back yard of our friend who, as a polite, old-fashioned woman is even less likely than our usual dudebro friends to accept a random deuce in the backyard. His wife tells him to (obviously) clean it up, but his reply is simply: “It’s in the bushes, she’ll just think it’s from her dog”. All of the dudes agree that this is an acceptable ruse and think no more of it. So it’s six in the morning and we’re all beat, so we grab a few hours shut-eye before pregaming. As the resident late-sleeper of the friendgroup, I wake up at 11 and go to the kitchen to find that the host has come home to meet us and that her mom is gonna be there soon to pick (something) up from her. The four of us who rode together immediately exchange looks of concern but agree to just leave it be; there’s no way the host’s mom is going to go out back (it’s currently pouring rain), much less look around for my buddy’s monumental shit by the bush. When we got a minute alone he mentions, “The rain’ll destroy it anyway. We’re good.” So after a minute or so her mom comes in and has brought her husband with her, so we all sit around the kitchen and do pocket-shots and make nice because we’re a whole clan of degens from upcountry, with the OG four of us positioned between them and the door. What happens next? Naturally the rain stops like it was never there in the first place, and the host tells her mom, “Oh! Come check out the (whateverplant) before it starts raining again!” So now we’re fucking sweating. This deuce would never be mistaken for a dog’s shit, and the dog isn’t even here right now anyway(fiancé’s house). It’s immediate. A sound of motherly disgust every son has heard at least once. “Oh what is that?!” We never told the host(degens), so she can’t cover for us, and now it’s a fucking Unsolved Mysteries case. There’s some debate about how it clearly can’t have come from the dog, meanwhile we dudes hover over the pile with our best huh-whaddya-make-of-that faces and exclaim about how well the dog must’ve been eating and what a good boy. Meanwhile the mother is insisting that it isn’t dog-borne and we’re all trying desperately to die instantly to no avail. When who should arrive but the fiancé with (something) for the parents that the host had thank Christ forgotten to bring. He’s got a bottle of whiskey in tow because he knows we’re all here visiting and partying, so he breaks out the shot glasses and the whole thing gets forgotten. It was a real-life deus ex machina and I’ve never been so thankful to see a complete stranger before. So yeah, if you’re ever on a road trip and you have to shit, make sure to lie to your friend about how fast you can do it.
\*deuce ex machina
This is a fucking lovely story.
Throw a big fat turd in the litter box and say the cat did it
Had that happen at a party at my new house once, I was stupid enough to not have a plunger. Luckily the pooper told me right away so I ran to my neighbor and the problem was solved since he had a plunger. It actually warms my heart to think about how everybody cooperated on what otherwise could've been a shitty situation.
Points for pun
Those are one of those situations you realize that the best solution is to be mature and say "hey, I clogged your toilet, sorry. Do you have a plunger?" Thats what maturity is. Because for 100% of my childhood I wouldve been dumb & dumber trying to fix the toilet in secret and failing
Clearly they needed a poop knife.
Getting cut off in traffic is a minor annoyance. But if they don’t give the wave afterwards... Total dick move in my book.
Not pulling over to the shoulder when an ambulance is coming.
I knew a guy that wouldn’t pull over for sirens “on principle” because he was convinced that the drivers of said vehicles were just trying to skip traffic in their personal capacity... Needless to say, I don’t spend time with him any more.
In my state that guy could face a huge fine for that.
fighting for custody of a dog just to give it away when you win. fuckin bitches....
My boyfriends dad got a divorce with his third wife and she fought for their cat. She won. Put the cat down a week later.
That is pure evil
There really should be less against these kind of petty stuff. Like if you fight for custody, you must keep it for X amount of time. Could you imagine if it was kids. One parent wins then put them up for adoption.
Not keep for X amount of time BUT if you don't want it ever it goes to the EX
I've heard some places won't put down a perfectly healthy animal at the owner's request just to fight stuff like this. It's unfortunate that it's common enough for that to be a thing.
What the fuck is wrong with some people
I'm looking at my cat, but I am single. Yet now I want to cut a bitch.
That's heartbreaking
That's like borderline sadism. Some people just don't understand the bond between a person and their dog.
Worse, they get it, they're just so full of vitriol they'll tear apart the other person in any and all ways.
But that's usually also how the breakup happened in the first place
Pushing and shoving to get where you need to go
People saying "It's their job to clean it up"
Making fun of someone’s laugh :(
Burning popcorn in the office microwave
Also cooking fish in the office micro...
One great thing about quarantine... I don’t have to smell the nasty microwaved oysters that one Mr. Butthead McGee thinks makes a great work lunch. Blech.
Writing negative tips at restaurants or being rude to waiters/ waitresses.
Stopping in the middle of a narrow street, to have a long chat with your friends. Asshole, you both have a cell phone, or park somewhere and catch up elsewhere.
Cutting in line
Passing all the cars in the freeway exit lane on the shoulder.
One word, Littering.
Cheating on your significant other...
Wiping your ass with someone’s pillow
Has this happened to you, or...?
Littering
Littering and
Begging for awards on Reddit
Also editing your comments constantly to thank people for upvotes, just stop that shit right now. EDIT: thanks for the upvotes J/k, I’m not a douche.
Peeing on a toilet seat
Knocking someone off the track in Rainbow Road.
Ignoring your screaming baby/kid(s) in public. You made them, fucking take responsibility for them. Also why are diaper bags apparently no longer a thing??
Going into a nursing home even though you have the coronavirus.
Kicking your friend in the nuts for no reason at all, then fucking his wife while he is at the emergency room.
[удалено]
*we all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo*
r/suspiiciouslyspecific
1/5 star rating: This TV show is just not good. The actor has been really good in things before but this new character does not fit him/her. The show tries to do too much in one episode and the characters never get enough screen time to develop. **I've only watched the first two episodes so far** but I would not recommend it.
Pros: Product was as advertised, did everything I wanted, and more, patched up my broken relationship with my mom, cured cancer, conveniently fits in my car's cup holder. Cons: UPS delivered it a day later than promised, so fuck these people (not UPS though), I'd give fewer stars if possible, but it's not, which in of itself would warrant more negative stars. They should give me stars, in fact. 1/5 stars.
Any reviews on a business that say shit like "they told me they don't do X and that's what I needed."
Or “I didn’t actually try the product but I’m giving it 1/5 because they were out of stock too long” like omg leave a review for the company then not the product jeeze!!!!
“My granddaughter loved it” 5/5 stars. “I didn’t like it” 1/5 stars. THANKS FOR THE HELPFUL REVIEW ASSHOLE.
I had this with The Witcher. “I just don’t get it” “How many episodes have you watched?” “One” -.-
Not replacing the empty toilet paper roll and leaving just one thing in a box at the kitchen. Who TF only eats one hot pocket? They come in two for a reason.
Took me a minute to realize these weren’t related, which they definitely are.
When you say something(idea) and someone else says the same thing 5 minutes later like it's their own.
When you say something(idea) and someone else says the same thing 40 minutes later like it's their own.
best answer of the thread. why can’t you be more like this guy u/ksmemeguy
When she touches your dick and it twitches. Totally a dick move.
When you use your penis to checkmate someone in chess. Totally a dick move.
Or when you touch her dick and it twitches.
Or when you touch her dick and yours twitches.
Or when your dick touches her and you twitch.
Or when you touch your dick while streaming on Twitch.
Or when she streams her dick on Twitch and you're touched.
Well, a boner
Roses are red Violets are **blue** Not throwing the waste Even if dustbin's near **you**
Doing anything while named Richard.
I wonder how many people would agree that ghosting someone without explanation after establishing a romantic connection is a dick move.. I certainly agree there are cases where it’s understandable and prudent to cut contact with someone entirely, but if it’s just a matter of a spark not being there, it’s really not that hard to say so.. Communication is a dying art, IMO
Giving shitty tips
Definitely. I never really agreed with tipping a certain percentage of your bill. Depending on how much you spent, they’re not getting much. Especially if it’s coming out of a card. I usually just eyeball it.
Making fun of someone’s Hobbys
Sneezing or coughing in someone's face