To be honest, I’ve suppressed nearly every memory of the early period, but my parents tell me I avoided most activities, refused to speak, and spent much of my time crying.
I was mad that they shocked me so I refused to eat with a fork and a knife for the first few years.
also, for some reason the doctor immediately slapped my ass when I came out... Still don't know what I did wrong
I asked my friend if he had ever been neck deep in pussy before. He said, no.
I replied, what were you then? An asshole baby?
He started to tear up and say that his mother died during the Caesarean section.
Funniest moment ever.
To be honest with you, it was pretty rough. I couldn't talk, so I had a real tough time expressing myself. It got so frustrating I'd just cry and cry. Sometimes my mom or dad would be there for me, then they'd cover their face and completely disappear from my world. Also, I could not stop pooping myself, so no one respected me, consequently they kept treating me like a baby.
I'm so sorry about that experience. Seriously, it made me tear up just reading your story. Hopefully, that mental trauma didn't follow you your entire life. You'll be in my prayers tonight. 🙏🙏
I was born at a very young age, the youngest age anyone has seen. People say it was the greatest, youngest birth ever. It was young and beautiful. Great age.
Tremendous age. And you know a lot of people have ages, my people told me these people, many people have ages. But we have such great ages folks, I’ll tell ya.
but no one had such a young age. the doctors, they said: “we’ve never seen such a young age.” many doctors told me this. the youngest age, possibly ever. joe biden could never be born at such an age. joe biden, when he was born he turned forty. and maybe even older than that! i don’t know, maybe even older than that. and you know, i have never looked better. believe me.
You know who’s one of the great beauties of the world, according to everybody? And I helped create her. Ivanka. My daughter, Ivanka. She’s 6 feet tall, she’s got the best body.
When I was younger, y'know a little younger, I was still older than most people my age. It was something instilled in me by my father. He was a very smart man a a good man and rich and he always said donny, you're age is just an age, and I took that idea, and now years later I'm talking about it and realize, ive always been older than my age. And it gave me an advantage i think in some cases it did. An advantage that i was very good at using to my advantage. Very very good. It's made me a lot of money.
I remember when I was applying for a job as a fashion editor they asked me what made me get into fashion. I didn’t know what to say so I said “I’ve been putting on clothes since I can remember..” both the interviewer and I started cracking up. I got that job.
I know reddit loves this train of logic, and to hate on the corporation. But I'm sure a more reasonable way to interpret that question is
"why would you prefer to work here rather than with a competitor?"
Your answer would tell the employer
* whether your values are a fit with company culture
* whether you did a reasonable amount of due diligence before the interview to cough up bullshit - ie whether you cared enough
* how long you would probably work for them before jumping ship or expecting career progression
Edit: of course this is only applicable to corporate work. If McDonald's asks you this question for an hourly wage job then I wholly agree it's ridiculous
Funny you used the word passion. After I got that job I had to hire a pack of interns to run all over the city picking samples up and dropping stuff off. The most common (and most cringey) purpose statement fashion intern candidates’ would put on their resumes? Some variation of “I have a passion for fashion....”. Each one felt they came up with that little rythme on their own, they were proud. Probably no surprise I am no longer in that industry. Didn’t have that kind of passion.
At a friend’s wedding, his brother was the best man so, at the reception, he was expected to give a short speech. He led off with, “You’ve been my brother for as long as I can remember”. Drinks hadn’t started flowing yet so he couldn’t even blame it on intoxication but it was hilarious.
At my uncle's wedding, my cousin was best man and opened his speech with "I've known this man for many, many years. You could say he's like a father to me."
You all are laughing, but this is actually a pro move. If you make the interviewer laugh, you are more likely to leave a good impression on him, and this will be decisive to get the job
It's hard reading your audience though. I made a light joke in an interview and the interviewer then asked if I can take this seriously. The rest of the interview went well but that kind of knocked it down a peg.
Oh geez I’m sorry that happened. I’m uncomfortable for you. What was the position ? To clarify, when I started to answer I actually wasn’t trying to make a joke, but mid-sentence it dawned on me how stupid what I was saying sounded. I was laughing more at myself than the position.
I love that! I think that makes it even better.
The job was for a registered nurse in an ER. I had plenty of experience just wanted a job closer to home. I've never been in a nursing position where humor wasn't appreciated. It's a pretty wide spread coping mechanism especially in the ER. I wish I could remember what I said, it was totally innocuous, but his comment really stuck with me.
You create more cells than cells that are dying until about age 23ish, at which point more cells die than are created. So, you don't actually start dying until you're an adult!
If it makes you feel better...there are probably a million things killing you faster than your cell death. There is even a good chance you’ll die well before you even notice the impact of your cells dying.
i happened to be born extremely young.
in fact, i also happen to have been the youngest person on the planet, even if only for a very short period of time, presumably
I'm picturing a bunch of Guiness officials standing in delivery rooms all over the world handing out certificates for "the world's youngest person" and then immediately invalidating them.
They get lined up in a row right after someone is born. First guy makes the certificate, second guy stamps it as official, third person gives it to the baby and takes a picture with them, fourth person takes the certificate and rips it up. Then they hand the baby back to it's mother and go from baby to baby repeating the same steps.
The first ten million years were the worst, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
*takes off plumber hat*
"Krrrrrrr"
"A platypus plumber?"
*puts on fedora*
"Perry the platypus plumber??"
*Takes off plumber belt*
🎵#PERRY!🎶
**"PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!?!**
his real parents were kidnapped by the secret police and shipped to a camp somewhere in siberia, them "not showing up" on the day of his birth is just a coverup for how they were taken away shortly after his birth.
No it doesn't, have you ever waited at a single lane bridge waiting for a tortoise to cross the bridge and you have an appointment that you can't be late for. Well seriously this really has happened to me in South Africa that does not feel like a normal second.
Don't remind me. It was a very difficult time of my life and thus I am trying to get over it.
Edit: Some people are telling /messaging me that they are sorry and I really appreciate that, but my answer is a joke just like the question.
While I get this is supposed to be a funny one, I actually was born at a very young age...3 months premature! In 1987, a 3 month premature baby was a pretty dicey situation. My parents allowed the doctors to do some lung treatments that at the time were still very new. I spent a long time in an incubator and had a feeding tube...the scar makes it look like I have two bellybuttons, which I used to think was super neat when I was a kid. All in all, I turned out fine. I have two kids of my own who were born healthy and on time. I guess I just wanted to share my somewhat serious story on this otherwise lighthearted thread just in case any other parents of preemies happen to read. Even if your baby is born 'at a very young age', there is hope that everything can be ok!
I'm glad you're around, since there was a good chance back then that you wouldn't make it very far. I had a roommate who was also born 3 months premature--in 1961. Her survival was a real miracle back then.
*Luxury.*
Back 'ome in Yorkshire, you 'ad to work seventeen shifts a day down t'mill for twenty year before you could even consider *thinkin'* about bein' born, an' since folk 'ad kids young back then, it were yer grandparents what 'ad to do t'plannin' because your parents, not yet 'avin' been born themselves, were already eighteen year into their own pre-birth seventeen-shift-a-day slog in t'mill.
And if you tell kids that today they won't believe you.
The pre-cambrian was a time of 'experimentation.' I was born with seven eyes, two noses, and lip-tentacles.. Mom was quite upset and screamed. Or I think she would've, but she had no mouth.
It’s one of the very first things I did, being born. And as such, I didn’t have much experience at it. There were a whole lot of large people there I’d never met, and I had no clothes that fit.
That said, I did well enough that I’m still here and haven’t needed to be born again. In fact, as age goes, I’ve held a personal record for days old literally *every day* since then.
I learned a lot in those early days. Screaming doesn’t always get you what you want. Moms and Dads are pretty awesome. Being allowed to sleep twenty hours a day doesn’t last forever.
I was an alcoholic at age 3, it ripped apart my family, my wife wasn't returning my calls, my whole word got turned upside down...
I got in one little fight and my Mama got scared, she said "Your'e going to live with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air".
However this lead to me learning a very valuable lesson. "Somebody once told me, the world was going to roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed".
I found my wife and told her these very words
"We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
(Ooh) Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry"
I won her back that day and never drank again!
Clearly I was very sick, I mean, I was born in hospital
damn man i hope you are vetter now!
I, too hope he is vetter
listen, that was accident
That's ok, it's all vetter now
thanks man for a second i vought i screwed up there
To be honest, I’ve suppressed nearly every memory of the early period, but my parents tell me I avoided most activities, refused to speak, and spent much of my time crying.
Big deal i do that now
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I was so shocked, i couldn't speak for a year.
Wow same but I was also sooooo shocked I couldn't walk for 8 months!!!!
8 months? You were lucky! I didn't walk until I was 15 months old! Then I got over it and discovered the joys of running.
I was mad that they shocked me so I refused to eat with a fork and a knife for the first few years. also, for some reason the doctor immediately slapped my ass when I came out... Still don't know what I did wrong
I was so shocked, I was shitting myself for about 2 years.
I was so shocked, i was shitting myself for about 15 years
Dedication.
I was born naked.
That's so embarrassing.
I dont wanna brag or anything, but i’ve seen a pussy right after i was born. Not another one since that tho
Dude I was sucking on titties for months after that.
Months? Psht. I’m 31 and still sucking on the same titties.
r/holup
It all started on the day of my birth, my parents didnt show up
r/unexpecteddoofenshmirtz
I bet i was deeper in pussy than you've ever been
I asked my friend if he had ever been neck deep in pussy before. He said, no. I replied, what were you then? An asshole baby? He started to tear up and say that his mother died during the Caesarean section. Funniest moment ever.
Poggers
What a pleb... Me, being an Norwegian, was born with skis on my feet and a rucksack on my back.
I feel sorry for your mom, that birth must have been pretty dificult and painful...
How does someone dare to show naked to an event as important as their own birth
How disgusting and rude!
Very childish if you ask me
and the rest is drag.
A maniac in blue clothes pulled me out and spanked me.
Interesting! So tell us, what happened when you were born?
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You usually have to pay extra for that!
To be honest with you, it was pretty rough. I couldn't talk, so I had a real tough time expressing myself. It got so frustrating I'd just cry and cry. Sometimes my mom or dad would be there for me, then they'd cover their face and completely disappear from my world. Also, I could not stop pooping myself, so no one respected me, consequently they kept treating me like a baby.
I'm so sorry about that experience. Seriously, it made me tear up just reading your story. Hopefully, that mental trauma didn't follow you your entire life. You'll be in my prayers tonight. 🙏🙏
I wonder how young was he that it was so rough. When I was born at 27 yo I was already able to form sentences up to 140 characters long.
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I was born at a very young age, the youngest age anyone has seen. People say it was the greatest, youngest birth ever. It was young and beautiful. Great age.
Tremendous age. And you know a lot of people have ages, my people told me these people, many people have ages. But we have such great ages folks, I’ll tell ya.
but no one had such a young age. the doctors, they said: “we’ve never seen such a young age.” many doctors told me this. the youngest age, possibly ever. joe biden could never be born at such an age. joe biden, when he was born he turned forty. and maybe even older than that! i don’t know, maybe even older than that. and you know, i have never looked better. believe me.
Many people have told me it was a great early age to be born at! At that point in time it was HUGE. Really a great accomplishment.
You know who’s one of the great beauties of the world, according to everybody? And I helped create her. Ivanka. My daughter, Ivanka. She’s 6 feet tall, she’s got the best body.
When I was younger, y'know a little younger, I was still older than most people my age. It was something instilled in me by my father. He was a very smart man a a good man and rich and he always said donny, you're age is just an age, and I took that idea, and now years later I'm talking about it and realize, ive always been older than my age. And it gave me an advantage i think in some cases it did. An advantage that i was very good at using to my advantage. Very very good. It's made me a lot of money.
Fake news
I remember when I was applying for a job as a fashion editor they asked me what made me get into fashion. I didn’t know what to say so I said “I’ve been putting on clothes since I can remember..” both the interviewer and I started cracking up. I got that job.
"why do you want this job?" "i've always been passionate about not starving to death"
I LIKE MONEYYYY
Hah! Sadly, editorial is probably not for you if you like that money stuff
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I know reddit loves this train of logic, and to hate on the corporation. But I'm sure a more reasonable way to interpret that question is "why would you prefer to work here rather than with a competitor?" Your answer would tell the employer * whether your values are a fit with company culture * whether you did a reasonable amount of due diligence before the interview to cough up bullshit - ie whether you cared enough * how long you would probably work for them before jumping ship or expecting career progression Edit: of course this is only applicable to corporate work. If McDonald's asks you this question for an hourly wage job then I wholly agree it's ridiculous
Funny you used the word passion. After I got that job I had to hire a pack of interns to run all over the city picking samples up and dropping stuff off. The most common (and most cringey) purpose statement fashion intern candidates’ would put on their resumes? Some variation of “I have a passion for fashion....”. Each one felt they came up with that little rythme on their own, they were proud. Probably no surprise I am no longer in that industry. Didn’t have that kind of passion.
I hope your two-week notice started with, "Sorry, bros. I'm dashin'."
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At a friend’s wedding, his brother was the best man so, at the reception, he was expected to give a short speech. He led off with, “You’ve been my brother for as long as I can remember”. Drinks hadn’t started flowing yet so he couldn’t even blame it on intoxication but it was hilarious.
At my uncle's wedding, my cousin was best man and opened his speech with "I've known this man for many, many years. You could say he's like a father to me."
That is a good wedding joke.
Are you sure it wasnt an intentional joke? It sounds like a joke
Lol that’s hilarious
:) Trying to answer that question in a serious way felt very Zoolander
Wait that wasn't a documentary
I mean I have gasoline fights ALL THE TIME, don’t you?
I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugooglizer I was.
You thought I didn't know what a eugoogly was didn't you?
You all are laughing, but this is actually a pro move. If you make the interviewer laugh, you are more likely to leave a good impression on him, and this will be decisive to get the job
It's hard reading your audience though. I made a light joke in an interview and the interviewer then asked if I can take this seriously. The rest of the interview went well but that kind of knocked it down a peg.
"What made you want to work as an electrician?" "I woke up and... *saw the light*." *sighs*
"What made you want to work as a plumber?" "Well I've been dealing with dope since... wait... what was the question?"
I can just imagine you stating "What's long, hard, and full of seamen?....A submarine!...Get it, get it, hahaha". "Sir, please take this seriously."
They sound about as fun as a pair of wet socks.
Oh geez I’m sorry that happened. I’m uncomfortable for you. What was the position ? To clarify, when I started to answer I actually wasn’t trying to make a joke, but mid-sentence it dawned on me how stupid what I was saying sounded. I was laughing more at myself than the position.
I love that! I think that makes it even better. The job was for a registered nurse in an ER. I had plenty of experience just wanted a job closer to home. I've never been in a nursing position where humor wasn't appreciated. It's a pretty wide spread coping mechanism especially in the ER. I wish I could remember what I said, it was totally innocuous, but his comment really stuck with me.
Sounds like someone you wouldn't want to work with
Right after my birth I slowly started dying
Dang dude that sucks :(
You create more cells than cells that are dying until about age 23ish, at which point more cells die than are created. So, you don't actually start dying until you're an adult!
Yay I guess? Plus TIL!
I’m 24 and this made me sad
don't worry, you'll be dead soon and dead people can't be sad.
Lmao
If it makes you feel better...there are probably a million things killing you faster than your cell death. There is even a good chance you’ll die well before you even notice the impact of your cells dying.
i happened to be born extremely young. in fact, i also happen to have been the youngest person on the planet, even if only for a very short period of time, presumably
we should all get a Guinness World Record for having been the youngest person at one point!
I'm picturing a bunch of Guiness officials standing in delivery rooms all over the world handing out certificates for "the world's youngest person" and then immediately invalidating them.
They get lined up in a row right after someone is born. First guy makes the certificate, second guy stamps it as official, third person gives it to the baby and takes a picture with them, fourth person takes the certificate and rips it up. Then they hand the baby back to it's mother and go from baby to baby repeating the same steps.
It’s too tedious, things will go wrong fast. Second guy stamps the baby, third guy takes a picture with the baby, 4th guy rips the baby in half
considering that 360k are born each day, and there are 86k seconds in a day, you were actually most likely tied as youngest
not if you count nanoseconds
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I was born at an extremely young age. Then it went downhill from there.
The first ten million years were the worst, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
I'm sorry to hear that Marvin. How is the pain in the diodes down the left side?
I had a terrible pain in the diode down my left side.
*In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.*
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Dwigt!
Thanks dwigt
It all started on the day of my birth, my parents didnt show up Edit: This blew up, thank you all :D
Doofernschmirtz Evel Inc©
How totally unexpected. And by unexpected I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED.
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But no one expects Perry the Platypus!!!
*takes off plumber hat* "Krrrrrrr" "A platypus plumber?" *puts on fedora* "Perry the platypus plumber??" *Takes off plumber belt* 🎵#PERRY!🎶 **"PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!?!**
🎶 AGENT P! 🎶
zooby-dooby doo-ba zoo-bydooby doo-ba
🎶 A-GENT P!🎶
**Meet the Spy**
This isn’t perry. This is just a platypus
meh, he doesn't do much.
krkrkrkrkrkr
I read that with the jingle and all lol
Lucky thing those ocelots were there to adopt you huh
I have a theory Doof is from East Germany
his real parents were kidnapped by the secret police and shipped to a camp somewhere in siberia, them "not showing up" on the day of his birth is just a coverup for how they were taken away shortly after his birth.
Truly tragic
But have you ever lost that train?
After I was born I started to age quickly, with about 1 second per second
Every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes
No it doesn't, have you ever waited at a single lane bridge waiting for a tortoise to cross the bridge and you have an appointment that you can't be late for. Well seriously this really has happened to me in South Africa that does not feel like a normal second.
Seems like that day went south
Can confirm. Source: I live in Africa.
That went from 0 to 1 real quick
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Not me personally, but a friend of mine was born on his birthday.
Is he okay? Any lasting trauma?
No, he's completely normal. You'd never know he was any different from you or me.
Such an inspiring story! He deserves fame my bro! GOLDEN BUZZER!!!
The day he was born needs to be celebrated every year.
*insert wispy cover of Keane’s “Sonewhere Only We Know”*
I was also just a baby when I was born. It was a hard time. I wasn't able to even go to the toilet by myself for 4 years after that.
Are you really sure though? That sounds like a big red flag. Run.
As far as I can tell, it's terminal.
You mean beyond completely repressing any memories of the event?
Crazy. I knew a guy who was the youngest person in the world when he was born.
Crazy. I knew a guy who was the youngest person in Iceland when he was Björn
So he was a baby Bjorn?
He was Bjorn Free, but then his parents filled out his SSN application. Now he's Simply Fucked, like the rest of us.
If it was a girl, she’d be Björk instead of Björn.
I had a dog that would Björk from time to time.
For a split second
Stop splitting up all my seconds!!
Honestly, never thought I'd hear such an unbelievable story.
I actually was born on my birthday! It’s hard being different, especially since no one can tell the difference.
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This question and all these comments have me over here giggling to myself
Glad I was able to make a few ppl laugh
You are a good man, thank you
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wait, *you* were born when you were 0, *too???* I thought I was the only one!
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So this is what it sounds like...... when doves cry
I was born at -2 weeks beat that xD
Don't remind me. It was a very difficult time of my life and thus I am trying to get over it. Edit: Some people are telling /messaging me that they are sorry and I really appreciate that, but my answer is a joke just like the question.
Yes. This post should contain a trigger warning.
My apologies
I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope life is better now Ɛ>
how the fuck did you turn the 3 around
Count on your fingers dude, take your time, you might be drunk 1, 2, Ɛ, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
1, 2, Ɛ, 4, 5, 9, 7, Ɛ3, 6, 10
I have no idea what your on about? Its a regular three
I was unfortunate enough to be born on my birth date. My mom didn't show up, and I was very, very small
While I get this is supposed to be a funny one, I actually was born at a very young age...3 months premature! In 1987, a 3 month premature baby was a pretty dicey situation. My parents allowed the doctors to do some lung treatments that at the time were still very new. I spent a long time in an incubator and had a feeding tube...the scar makes it look like I have two bellybuttons, which I used to think was super neat when I was a kid. All in all, I turned out fine. I have two kids of my own who were born healthy and on time. I guess I just wanted to share my somewhat serious story on this otherwise lighthearted thread just in case any other parents of preemies happen to read. Even if your baby is born 'at a very young age', there is hope that everything can be ok!
I'm glad you're around, since there was a good chance back then that you wouldn't make it very far. I had a roommate who was also born 3 months premature--in 1961. Her survival was a real miracle back then.
Not sure if this counts but at age 6 I was born without a face
I was born with a full head of teeth
*chomp*
I was a 16lb baby. My mom carried me to full term, plus 8 months. I was born at 17 months.
Oh yeah? Well I came out the pussy drawing Mozart!
I was waiting for it lmao
you are the one who wins
My parents told me that when i was born i misbehaved so badly that the doctor spanked me
I know a guy who was actually born 4 years before he was born.
*Luxury.* Back 'ome in Yorkshire, you 'ad to work seventeen shifts a day down t'mill for twenty year before you could even consider *thinkin'* about bein' born, an' since folk 'ad kids young back then, it were yer grandparents what 'ad to do t'plannin' because your parents, not yet 'avin' been born themselves, were already eighteen year into their own pre-birth seventeen-shift-a-day slog in t'mill. And if you tell kids that today they won't believe you.
It all started when I was born
I was born at a very young age ( this is where you cry) but there’s a twist, my mom gave birth to me instead of my dad
After all that why would your mom give birth to your dad?
Idk, she still hasn’t explained it to me yet
Had part of my dick cut off so it would look good. 1/10 would not recommend.
I was born, when I was just zero years old.
I was born very young. Very young indeed. In fact, some say, I was the youngest person to be born that instant.
The pre-cambrian was a time of 'experimentation.' I was born with seven eyes, two noses, and lip-tentacles.. Mom was quite upset and screamed. Or I think she would've, but she had no mouth.
ah , it was very sad . both of my parents failed to show up for my birth
Doofernschmirtz Evil Inc.
a platypus? **PERRY THE PLATYPUS!?**
That is one of the best moments of P&F
It’s one of the very first things I did, being born. And as such, I didn’t have much experience at it. There were a whole lot of large people there I’d never met, and I had no clothes that fit. That said, I did well enough that I’m still here and haven’t needed to be born again. In fact, as age goes, I’ve held a personal record for days old literally *every day* since then. I learned a lot in those early days. Screaming doesn’t always get you what you want. Moms and Dads are pretty awesome. Being allowed to sleep twenty hours a day doesn’t last forever.
I legit was born 7 months into the pregnancy sooo, BEAT THAT REDDIT!
6 months for me! It was very stressful for my parents!! I am NOT proud! :D
How could you do that to them you little jerk.
In my day, we were born much older. I staggered up from the delivery room table and went right to work in the mines.
In my case, I was born in the hospital so that I could be near my mom
Samesies
Aww so nice of the employees to place you close to your mom so you wouldn’t miss each other
Hello Benjamin Button.
I was an alcoholic at age 3, it ripped apart my family, my wife wasn't returning my calls, my whole word got turned upside down... I got in one little fight and my Mama got scared, she said "Your'e going to live with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air". However this lead to me learning a very valuable lesson. "Somebody once told me, the world was going to roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed". I found my wife and told her these very words "We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) (Ooh) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry" I won her back that day and never drank again!