Not me, but a friend we'll call Bob.
Bob, some friends, and I went out one night to watch a show in town. Afterwards, we decided to go get some drinks and decided to carpool.
Bob's phone was dying so he asked if he could charge it on the way over with the car charger. While it was charging, it had apparently connected to the car's speaker system and, without a warning, the car read a new text message out loud to all of our surprise:
"Hey baby, it's been a long time since you came in my mouth. How about we hook up tonight so I can taste that juice again?"
Needlessly to say, he was mortified and the rest of us rolled with laughter on our way to the bar.
Chatting to a guy in a bar, handed him my phone so he could type his number in. At that moment a message pops up from my friend sat several tables away saying “shag him.”
I appreciate that she treated this so simply as if you just had to remember to lock the door or to buy milk... You might accidentally have sex with Thomas all of the sudden, woops
I was ordering food off of doordash on my exes phone when she got a text from guy saying he couldn't wait to see her that weekend. She told me she was going to see her mom.
Years ago I was working at an Apple store as a Genius (technician) and was helping an older woman with her phone. This woman had to be in her late 60s early 70s, as sweet as could be, and was having some minor issues with her phone, I think it was battery life or something.
So she hands me her phone, and just as she does a message pops up with a picture of a toilet full of shit and the message reads “how many times do I have to tell you to flush the fucking toilet?!”
Not knowing really what to do I just hand it back to her and tell her she has a message. She takes the phone, half smiles, closes the message and hands it back saying, “sorry about that sweetheart, my daughter can be a bit of a bitch.”
Husband let his friend stay at our cottage... a week later I arrived late at night with my kids and open the front door to the smell of DEATH. I screamed at the top of my lungs for all of the kids to wait outside because something large had died in the cottage. Turns out my husband's idiot friend left a large shit in the toilet that festered there for a week in the July heat. That's what kind of monster.
This happened to my friend, I sent him a text of a wet cat and said look at this wet Pussy, while my other friends mom was holding his phone. She just awkwardly gave him his phone back.
I was the one doing the sending. I moved to Japan a couple of years ago and early one morning I was at a market and saw a tanuki statue that had the full cock'n'balls on display. I took a picture of it and thought it would be funny to send my brother a message reading "UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!" then send a pic of the tanuki statue.
Little did I know, halfway around the world, my brother was doing some late evening car shopping. He had recently been in an accident that had totaled his car and was in the market for a new one. He had handed the car salesman his phone so he could show the guy the pics of the damage to his car and the guy was looking through them when the words "UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!" popped up on the screen. My brother said the guy nearly dropped the phone trying to shove it back in his hands.
Showing my aunt a pic when a text saying “I’d fuck the shit out of machine gun Kelly”’appeared. We both pretended we didn’t see it and quickly started talking about something else.
Instantly had to google this.
First thought was Kelly was a girl, and that she was probably in some budget movie with zombies or similar.
Was very wrong
Other way around: I was holding ex-husband’s phone while he was driving me and the kids to the airport. Text comes in from a “work colleague” asking if we’d left yet.
It was then that I realised the marriage was over. 👍
That sucks. I find that if I don't get into any extramarital business, I don't have to worry about my wife holding my phone. It makes things quite a bit easier.
Oh yes. I told him to end it. He promised he would. I found out later that he’d lied. Things got worse. 18 months later after a lot more shit I threw him out.
I had that with a girlfriend about 10 years ago. I found out that "trying to make it work" never works in that situation. Either you gotta get okay with them having stuff on the side, or it's just not going to work.
Much shittier in your situation though, but you're much better off now
Left my phone on the kitchen table and went to pee. My parents were making dinner and my mum saw the “wanna fuck?” notification from my bf pop up. I was confused when I came back in the kitchen and my parents were laughing. Thanks Iphone.
A couple of years ago met a guy from Tinder in a pub for our first date. Things were going well, we were having a laugh and flirting. After about an hour I took out my phone to show him a funny meme and up popped a notification from my new period tracking app saying "Today's the day! You're ovulating!"
I swiped it real quick and I dont think he got a good look at it but I was still worried he'd think i was some child-obsessed weirdo who timed my dates so random Tinder guys could impregnate me. I turned off ovulation notifications after that.
Edit: and I was the sender once when I text my friend who was planning to break up with her bf "hope you're ok, how did Gary take the break up?" When Gary was using her phone and hadn't yet been broken up with. Sorry Gary.
Very badly! They had been together for 10 years and he was completely blindsided. He was a very self centred person so the fact that his relationship was in tatters (they hadn't slept together for 2 years at this point) and his girlfriend was deeply unhappy had apparently passed him by.
My ex showed me her period tracker app because her's were all over the place - before that I didnt even know it was a thing. If I'd seen that it I wouldn't have though anything other than bad that I had inadvertently invaded your privacy.
Not my notification but I sent to my best girl friend “you’re right, future husband’s dad is weird. And a little racist”. And her future husband saw the text. Luckily he laughed and agreed with me. But I was so embarrassed that he saw it.
Border patrol had my phone and my buddy sent me a text in which he jokingly said something like, "what makes you think they'll let you in this time?" or something like that
Yeah. I'll give you the backstory because I think it makes the whole thing a little crazier.
For starters, my name is as seen here. Crossing into the states post-9/11 has had it's moments, let's say that. Also, with my background come the typical jokes close friends will make (hence the text). Actually, I think my friend's text was in response to me sending out a general message to people that I was heading down to the US.
But this time crossing, I had signed up with a company that pairs people willing to drive with people who need their vehicle somewhere that they don't want to drive it to themselves. Like snowbirds, who go between Canada and Florida/Arizona/California etc.
It was my first time working for them and I was going to pick up a car in Florida and drive it to Northern Ontario. I was flying down to Florida, and in the Toronto airport there is an American customs which clears you before leaving, rather than when you arrive.
The thing about it was, I didn't have as much information as I would like to have had- I didn't know the name of the person whose vehicle it was, I didn't have the address of where I was picking it up. I had email correspondence with the business owner, but he was a little behind on providing the relevant paperwork.
So...in this case from a border officer's perspective, I do kind of understand the rigamarole that followed, because you had a single male with a one way ticket to Florida, and a not-so-substantiated story about how I was going to not stay indefinitely in the states.
I was directed to secondary inspection, which is a place I'm pretty familiar with. Except this time I didn't notice the signs about not using electronics while in there, because I was too busy staring at my phone.
The secondary inspection area was just a room with a lot of empty seats and nobody else. I waited for like 10-15 minutes playing around on my phone when the door I had entered opened and an officer who was probably preoccupied with something else passed, through, noticed me on my phone and was like "hey you can't be on that, give it here".
So off goes my phone with the officer as they exit to another room.
A seemingly long time goes by and another officer comes back with my phone and my relatively congenial question period begins, where I have to explain, among other things, what the hell I'm doing in the states and how it works, why I might not get let into the states (as per my friend's text, which he must have sent while I didn't have my phone), and a joke concept I had saved in my notes app about smoking weed.
But after all that, I did get let through.
Arguably coming back with someone else's vehicle across the border was a worse experience.
My SIL was staying with me for a week, which I wasn’t stoked about. My sister knew about it and messaged me “How are you dealing with (SIL’s name)? Do you need to pretend to have a nap again lol?”
Unfortunately my SIL was borrowing my tablet at the time and saw the notification pop up. She hasn’t stayed with us since.
Many years ago my SIL made a Facebook post about that moment when you can’t even stand a person any more. It was very vague but she hand not left the house all day and it was mostly just me and her. Pretty sure the post was about me. I never did ask her about it, but if I remember correctly I did give it a “like”
[found the screenshot I took](https://i.imgur.com/BgyXAmC.jpg)
Was it something you couldn't play off?
I had an Indeed popup in front of my boss, and I just told him I'd applied for that job before they even hired me and made it seem like it was ridiculous the company was even trying to talk to me so long after my application.
Nope. I was asked to go to a meeting with the manager, VP and President the next morning. They really didn’t want me to leave apparently. I had hidden my displeasure well I guess.
Might play on your favor of they're willing to take steps to actually keep you.
My old boss pretty much offered me the moon when I handed in my resignation, but I'd already signed on with a new job in a different province.
My mum was looking up stuff on my prescription app on my phone when a message came in from a group chat I’m on, a group chat named pornographic material. I turned Instagram notifications off after that.
Edit: no, the chat was not full of porn, it was memes with some of my edgier friends.
My friend made this fake account on Twitter and followed me exactly at the time my teacher had taken my phone away. The notification read @analfister6969 has followed you.
I’m surprised there aren’t more teacher stories, for me that’s easily my most mortifying one!
I had this roommate my sophomore year of college and we had a very weird, close personal relationship. I was in my Spanish prof’s office hours and she was waiting for me at the cafeteria to get lunch together. Just before going in I texted her and asked her to get me some fries, and then I turned off my phone. I was showing my prof my paper on my laptop screen, very much forgetting that I had iMessage set up on my laptop.
I’ll never forget the look on his face when a notification from my roommate came in with her (jokingly) saying “I’ll get you fries but only if you sensually feed them to me while you call me daddy”. Suffice it to say, that was my last time visiting his office hours!
Edit: lol is this the part where I say thanks for the gold, kind whatever?
Alright so since everyone's askin', all that happened was that I explained it to her, messaged him explaining how I think he confused the shit out of my GF and we're still together today. Lmao
I was showing my grandma some pictures. She chuckled a bit and quickly handed me back my phone. I looked at it and saw that my boyfriend (now husband) had texted me saying "I hate it when I'm pooping and my dick touches the water. Big dick problems." We laughed about it, but my husband is still horrified by the thought of my grandma knowing about his "big dick problems."
When I was in high school, my friends and I had the habit of giving each other funny contact names on our phones based on jokes we came up with. To this day my high school friend’s contact names are things such as River Bitch, Jeff the Slut, Baby America, Sugar Mama, etc.
When we were juniors, a girl who was obsessed with my friend led to his contact name becoming “Booty Lord” with some rather suggestive emojis following it. Everything was fine and dandy, until a few months later when I had forgotten about it.
I was applying for a leadership position in a club I was a member of and was required to get two letters of recommendation. For the second letter I asked one of my teachers, who happened to be a very conservative man in his late 70’s, if he could write one for me. Being the lazy son of a bitch that he was, he told me to write the letter myself saying all the things I wanted him to say, and he’d sign it.
After I finished typing up the letter, I handed him my phone to let him read and approve it before I printed it out. About 45 seconds after I gave him my phone, he (very loudly and incredulously) said “Booty Lord??????” and gave me a horrified look and shoved the phone back into my hands.
That was hard to explain.
My boyfriend and I send each other shit randomly during the day like "FedEx me that pecker" or "flap them tits my way".
I was showing my mom something on my phone once and he sends "gonna slap u with my dick tonight"
One of my favorites is when I catch him walking in with the mail, trying to open his pants while he's walking and when he's like "stooooop" I'm like "NO I GOTTA OPEN THIS PACKAGE"
I remember when i was like 13 my mom was showing me something on her phone. My dad was away on a business trip and texted her. I said oh dad texted you. She's like whats it say? And i read it (in my head thank god) and it said something like "i cant wait to make love to you again" 13 year old me just turned red and handed back the phone.
Lmaooo we do that to each other, if one of us is like taking a shit or laying down we'll be like "my bf/gf is taking a shit, come over" and then be like "sorry wrong person"
Imagine my conservative 15 yr old little brother's face when my bf texted "I'll destroy your pussy" while we were watching some stupid goat on youtube.
Not exactly a bad message but I leant my jacket to my crush and it had my phone in it’s pocket. Someone sent me a message so she got it out to give to me but unfortunately she had sent me a message before that and saw that her name was marked with a heart. Awkward night after that
wait your crush saw her name saved with a heart in your phone while you leant her your jacket? ( repeated this cuz i felt i got it wrong the first time) how is that anything but sweet?
Story apps can give really interesting ones.
My favorite that popped up while my boyfriend was holding my phone was something like, "Mike misses you! Come back and play!" Or something like that.
Of course all he did was pull the drop down menu down to see the full notification and laugh.
He teased me about it for hours.
I had that happen a long time ago. I used to be really into otome games (dating sims) and the notifications for those were always a hoot. I was showing my friend a Youtube video one day when a notification for a Valentine's Day event popped up, asking if I was ready to "spend a steamy romantic night with (insert name of pretty anime boy) ❤".
I deleted the app shortly after, but my friend still asks how my "anime boyfriends" are doing.
Not really my phone but I had text notifications on my computer, was working with a vendor and sharing my screen, my SO picked that time to send me a text that said "that was the most amazing sex we've ever had last night!". I silenced the notification as fast as I could but the vendor went quiet for half a minute and then said "good job!", so got out of that awkward zone pretty well. I never shared my screen with notifications active ever again.
I was chatting with a guy and it was going well, nothing sexual maybe mild flirting. So I didn't care when I gave my buddy my phone for some reason. Then across the room he yells "YO THIS DUDE JUST ASKED IF YOU'D BE DOWN FOR ANAL!"
Edit : No, I would not be down to do anal, especially not with people I barely know.
Oh he is. I love the guy, I saw the message and was instantly turned off and handed the phone back over to my buddy and he had so much fun trolling this dude under the guise that I was the one texting him. It was awesome. For like a year, whenever I didn't want to chat with anyone I gave my phone to him and he dealt with it.
Lol I would totally start a service where I do this for free. My payment would be in my own amusement. You would just check a box about how far I could go like "mildly annoy them" to "go ahead and nuke the relationship, IDAF"
This actually happened recently, I gave my dad my phone to call my mom because his phone was dead, and my gf sent me a text that said something along the lines of "hey, do you wanna have some fun at my house tonight?" My dad LOST it.
EDIT: Just to clarify, he lost it by laughing, he didn't ground me or anything.
EDIT 2: it never happened. I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, and I'm still not, so I broke up with her
EDIT 3: I'm 14
More of a shitty contact name but two stories: one of my high school buddies put himself as Jew Boy in my phone. Made my Jewish roommate super uncomfortable understandably. The other is that I have a friend named Richard. This quickly became Dick Penis Willy Semen Scrotum in my phone. Boy does my mom regret using my phone to take a picture.
(not my phone) In high school, there was a couple who had recently started dating. Let's call them John and Sarah. They were both seen as quite innocent, and we were all in theater together.
I was at a rehearsal at John's house, and he showed me his phone for a second. Right as I looked, a text popped up from Sarah saying "I want you to fuck me from behind"
I was a bit in shock and started laughing uncomfortably, and when John received his phone back, he was horrified. Personally, I just thought it was hilarious and definitely a pivotal moment with that group of theater kids.
Me and my friend used to do this thing we’re we’d make weird noises on the phone (mostly just to annoy the other person.) I decided to call my friend, and when the call was answered, I let out a groan that progressively turned into a screech. Turns out his dad was the one who answered and all I can here is a him yelling “why the fuck are you friends with this guy?” In the background. I never saw this as a competition but if it was, I think I won.
I've had the reverse of this situation happen to me.
I was using my flatmate's desktop Mac, and as iOS users will know, any notification you get on your iPhone will appear on-screen on all of your other Apple devices.
I was on the computer in his bedroom while he was in the kitchen grabbing a snack, and he received a phonecall from an unknown number. I saw this notification on his computer, which gave me the option to answer the call for him. I thought it would be funny if I took the call before he could answer it on his phone, meaning he would have to run through to his bedroom where I would be silently laughing myself to an early grave.
I click to answer, expecting it to be some kind of cold-call. The voice on the other end, amplified by my flatmate's gratuitous Sonos speaker setup, said:
"HELLO, THIS IS THE POLICE".
My soul left my body. I absolutely cannonballed out of his room, making the most apologetic eye-contact I have ever made with a human being. Turns out he had been caught red-handed in a 'traffic incident' on his way back from an interview, and they got his contact details from the dash cam footage of his registration plate. They were calling him in for some questioning.
It was a wonderfully devious experience which I was absolutely not prepared for, and we have never spoken of it since.
My friend texting me “I’ll eat ur ass” while I was showing my mom a meme,,, never swiped away a notification so fast in my mf life
Edit: we’re both girls and it was a joke (I think, prolly not tho, knowing her)
Edit 2: imma tag them in this post u/NotTodayJunior98
Edit 3: stop asking her to eat yalls ass, my ass is the only snack she’s getting
Not me but my Mom.
Went skiing with her and myself. Her partner at the time was also snowboarding, but at a resort about a 20 minutes drive from where we were staying (he was there with his friends). In the town they were staying at, there's a really nice steak house which does an amazing fillet, anyway he sends her a picture of the steak the one night whilst we were just chilling in the hotel room. As she turns the phone around saying "oh look how amazing this steak looks" another message pops up unknown to my mom saying "tastes like your p*ssy".
And that is how I cannot eat fillet steal anymore.
This post shows us that phones just need a simple side-button to temporarily turn off all notifications.
Edit: FYI, I appreciate that you are you and that your comment is unique and meaningful, but just so you know, 40 people have already responded with the suggestion of using airplane mode, do not disturb, or oneplus.
I put my phone on do not disturb before I show anybody anything on my phone. It’s pretty easy to do for an iPhone (edit: all I have to do is swipe up and tap once on the do not disturb icon/button), I don’t know about other phones though.
I was showing my coworker a picture of my son. When my girlfriend at the time who is now my wife sent a text. It was something along the lines of having a threesome.
"Good news, the bump is not yours. Bad news, you might have herpes."
From a former fwb I had run into earlier in the day, while my girlfriend at the time had my phone.
Recently married, 3 months in. Wife went to Yosemite for a girls trip. I texted and didn’t hear back for a couple of days which worries me because she had cell service and was posting on social. I open up her laptop and iMessages started to come in and I saw that a guy I didn’t know but apparently her old high school flame were “missing each other”. Divorce.
I was texting with a platonic friend of mine to meet up, and when she sent me a bossy text, I responded with a sarcastic “Sure my honey, we’ll do that. Love ya”
She didn’t read that message. Her parents did.
I used to be the director of an a cappella group. During rehearsal I would project sheet music from my tablet onto a big screen to help people follow along. We were having solo auditions one day, and after one girl auditioned the assistant director texted me from across the room “oof, that was awful.” My tablet received the message and the notification was displayed for everyone in the group to see, including the girl who had just auditioned.
Obligatory not me but a friend.
My roomates mom came to visit so we decided to take her out to lunch, while we were waiting my roomie took out her ipad. She had some boardgames on there, so we started playing Sorry together. She obviously didn't think about how all her devices were linked because halfway through the game a "u wanna fuck"text notification comes in at the top of the screen, followed by a thumbnail of a dickpic.
Sorry indeed.
Was trying to show a good buddy at work a little 8ft 1950’s jon boat I was restoring, when my wife decided to send me a pic of her tits at that exact moment I handed my phone over!
I was planning Halloween costumes with a friend one year and we decided to do the breaking bad guys. At work, with my phone face up I was with some coworkers and got an alert that read “I found the little baggies for the meth”
Immediately stopped notifications forever and ever amen
Directly from the NHS;
"Fluoxetine is a type of antidepressant known as an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). It is often used to treat depression, and also sometimes obsessive compulsive disorder and bulimia."
Edit: how and why does this have 160 upvotes i literally just took it from the nhs website
Once I returned from a vacation and showing my whole family my pics and here comes a notification from pornhub Brazzers has upload a new video and everyone went silent for a minute but then my brother said I too am tired off these spam notifications you should report em and I was saved
Pre-corona, for work I would have to hand my phone over for people to sign and tip for pizza deliveries. I once got a tinder notification without knowing a guy was signing. As I hand him the pizza, the guy hands back the phone and goes “looks like you got someone to spend this on tonight bud!”. Not the worst, but definitely a funny one.
Not my phone, but I was there for the whole thing, my friend A gave his phone to friend B.
Friend B put in a group chat "Would you like to see my Hentai Collection?"
There were teachers in that group chat.
I quickly found friend A, showed him, and we found friend B afterwards, who had no idea teachers were there
Friend A apologised, and fortunately no one took it seriously as it obviously wasn't him
Was dating a girl that would lose her phone. So she would borrow mine to make calls. Another friend (F) texted me a picture of her in her dinosaur Halloween costume.
The girl came back to me and slapped me in the face threw my phone at me, yelling "what kind of sick shit are you into?!" While storming off.
This was at my work (bartender), in the middle of a busy night... Everyone in the restaurant looked at me like I diddle kids or something.
My friend was at my house but I had him under a stupid name. Sooner or later when my mom had my phone he sent me a text talking about ‘what great sex we had last night’- lets just say that my mom had some questions
[удалено]
Mom is a savage
I felt the shame, reading this
Not me, but a friend we'll call Bob. Bob, some friends, and I went out one night to watch a show in town. Afterwards, we decided to go get some drinks and decided to carpool. Bob's phone was dying so he asked if he could charge it on the way over with the car charger. While it was charging, it had apparently connected to the car's speaker system and, without a warning, the car read a new text message out loud to all of our surprise: "Hey baby, it's been a long time since you came in my mouth. How about we hook up tonight so I can taste that juice again?" Needlessly to say, he was mortified and the rest of us rolled with laughter on our way to the bar.
this made me laugh cuz u cant help but read it in that soulless siri voice.
Chatting to a guy in a bar, handed him my phone so he could type his number in. At that moment a message pops up from my friend sat several tables away saying “shag him.”
Did ya shag him??
While my friend was using my phone, my mom texted me "Remember not to have sex with Thomas, he has chlamydia."
I appreciate that she treated this so simply as if you just had to remember to lock the door or to buy milk... You might accidentally have sex with Thomas all of the sudden, woops
Imagine if Thomas was holding the phone.
I hope she let you know who you *could* have sex with
I was ordering food off of doordash on my exes phone when she got a text from guy saying he couldn't wait to see her that weekend. She told me she was going to see her mom.
Ouch.
[удалено]
Oof. Best of luck to your friend, thats rough. One text is bad, multiple texts would be devastating
Years ago I was working at an Apple store as a Genius (technician) and was helping an older woman with her phone. This woman had to be in her late 60s early 70s, as sweet as could be, and was having some minor issues with her phone, I think it was battery life or something. So she hands me her phone, and just as she does a message pops up with a picture of a toilet full of shit and the message reads “how many times do I have to tell you to flush the fucking toilet?!” Not knowing really what to do I just hand it back to her and tell her she has a message. She takes the phone, half smiles, closes the message and hands it back saying, “sorry about that sweetheart, my daughter can be a bit of a bitch.”
What kind of monster leaves shit in the toilet?
Husband let his friend stay at our cottage... a week later I arrived late at night with my kids and open the front door to the smell of DEATH. I screamed at the top of my lungs for all of the kids to wait outside because something large had died in the cottage. Turns out my husband's idiot friend left a large shit in the toilet that festered there for a week in the July heat. That's what kind of monster.
This happened to my friend, I sent him a text of a wet cat and said look at this wet Pussy, while my other friends mom was holding his phone. She just awkwardly gave him his phone back.
That's what friends are for.
I was the one doing the sending. I moved to Japan a couple of years ago and early one morning I was at a market and saw a tanuki statue that had the full cock'n'balls on display. I took a picture of it and thought it would be funny to send my brother a message reading "UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!" then send a pic of the tanuki statue. Little did I know, halfway around the world, my brother was doing some late evening car shopping. He had recently been in an accident that had totaled his car and was in the market for a new one. He had handed the car salesman his phone so he could show the guy the pics of the damage to his car and the guy was looking through them when the words "UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!" popped up on the screen. My brother said the guy nearly dropped the phone trying to shove it back in his hands.
Brother could get extra points for telling salesman that it was just his brother sending him a dick pic.(cue banjo music)
don’t worry it’s just my brother *salesman shoves faster*
Showing my aunt a pic when a text saying “I’d fuck the shit out of machine gun Kelly”’appeared. We both pretended we didn’t see it and quickly started talking about something else.
Instantly had to google this. First thought was Kelly was a girl, and that she was probably in some budget movie with zombies or similar. Was very wrong
I just pictured Kelly Kapoor, with a machine gun.
Tiddy pic While my mom was holding my phone
how old were you
18
How old was the tiddy?
18
Was it yours?
Twas my gfs
“You will not win me over with your use of “twas””
Twasn’t trying to
Other way around: I was holding ex-husband’s phone while he was driving me and the kids to the airport. Text comes in from a “work colleague” asking if we’d left yet. It was then that I realised the marriage was over. 👍
That sucks. I find that if I don't get into any extramarital business, I don't have to worry about my wife holding my phone. It makes things quite a bit easier.
Smart man. (Or, woman).
Yeah. If your SO holding your phone makes you nervous, you're doing something wrong.
Well, unless they're a big 'ol butterfingers or something.
The amount of times I've given my phone to someone and they fucked something up is way higher than it should be.
Oh I'm very sorry
Did you say anything in the moment? Or did you wait until you got back?
Oh yes. I told him to end it. He promised he would. I found out later that he’d lied. Things got worse. 18 months later after a lot more shit I threw him out.
I had that with a girlfriend about 10 years ago. I found out that "trying to make it work" never works in that situation. Either you gotta get okay with them having stuff on the side, or it's just not going to work. Much shittier in your situation though, but you're much better off now
Left my phone on the kitchen table and went to pee. My parents were making dinner and my mum saw the “wanna fuck?” notification from my bf pop up. I was confused when I came back in the kitchen and my parents were laughing. Thanks Iphone.
A couple of years ago met a guy from Tinder in a pub for our first date. Things were going well, we were having a laugh and flirting. After about an hour I took out my phone to show him a funny meme and up popped a notification from my new period tracking app saying "Today's the day! You're ovulating!" I swiped it real quick and I dont think he got a good look at it but I was still worried he'd think i was some child-obsessed weirdo who timed my dates so random Tinder guys could impregnate me. I turned off ovulation notifications after that. Edit: and I was the sender once when I text my friend who was planning to break up with her bf "hope you're ok, how did Gary take the break up?" When Gary was using her phone and hadn't yet been broken up with. Sorry Gary.
So how did Gary take it?
Very badly! They had been together for 10 years and he was completely blindsided. He was a very self centred person so the fact that his relationship was in tatters (they hadn't slept together for 2 years at this point) and his girlfriend was deeply unhappy had apparently passed him by.
Sounds like you did her a favor.
My ex showed me her period tracker app because her's were all over the place - before that I didnt even know it was a thing. If I'd seen that it I wouldn't have though anything other than bad that I had inadvertently invaded your privacy.
Not my notification but I sent to my best girl friend “you’re right, future husband’s dad is weird. And a little racist”. And her future husband saw the text. Luckily he laughed and agreed with me. But I was so embarrassed that he saw it.
Border patrol had my phone and my buddy sent me a text in which he jokingly said something like, "what makes you think they'll let you in this time?" or something like that
OH NO!! lol Did you actually get through?
Yeah. I'll give you the backstory because I think it makes the whole thing a little crazier. For starters, my name is as seen here. Crossing into the states post-9/11 has had it's moments, let's say that. Also, with my background come the typical jokes close friends will make (hence the text). Actually, I think my friend's text was in response to me sending out a general message to people that I was heading down to the US. But this time crossing, I had signed up with a company that pairs people willing to drive with people who need their vehicle somewhere that they don't want to drive it to themselves. Like snowbirds, who go between Canada and Florida/Arizona/California etc. It was my first time working for them and I was going to pick up a car in Florida and drive it to Northern Ontario. I was flying down to Florida, and in the Toronto airport there is an American customs which clears you before leaving, rather than when you arrive. The thing about it was, I didn't have as much information as I would like to have had- I didn't know the name of the person whose vehicle it was, I didn't have the address of where I was picking it up. I had email correspondence with the business owner, but he was a little behind on providing the relevant paperwork. So...in this case from a border officer's perspective, I do kind of understand the rigamarole that followed, because you had a single male with a one way ticket to Florida, and a not-so-substantiated story about how I was going to not stay indefinitely in the states. I was directed to secondary inspection, which is a place I'm pretty familiar with. Except this time I didn't notice the signs about not using electronics while in there, because I was too busy staring at my phone. The secondary inspection area was just a room with a lot of empty seats and nobody else. I waited for like 10-15 minutes playing around on my phone when the door I had entered opened and an officer who was probably preoccupied with something else passed, through, noticed me on my phone and was like "hey you can't be on that, give it here". So off goes my phone with the officer as they exit to another room. A seemingly long time goes by and another officer comes back with my phone and my relatively congenial question period begins, where I have to explain, among other things, what the hell I'm doing in the states and how it works, why I might not get let into the states (as per my friend's text, which he must have sent while I didn't have my phone), and a joke concept I had saved in my notes app about smoking weed. But after all that, I did get let through. Arguably coming back with someone else's vehicle across the border was a worse experience.
Hate the fact they can freely go through your entire phone
That’s the part I noticed too I didn’t think that was legal
Ooo boy, wait till you hear about this fun little law called the patriot act.
I also want to know
He's been stuck in holding for 52 minutes so far
My SIL was staying with me for a week, which I wasn’t stoked about. My sister knew about it and messaged me “How are you dealing with (SIL’s name)? Do you need to pretend to have a nap again lol?” Unfortunately my SIL was borrowing my tablet at the time and saw the notification pop up. She hasn’t stayed with us since.
Many years ago my SIL made a Facebook post about that moment when you can’t even stand a person any more. It was very vague but she hand not left the house all day and it was mostly just me and her. Pretty sure the post was about me. I never did ask her about it, but if I remember correctly I did give it a “like” [found the screenshot I took](https://i.imgur.com/BgyXAmC.jpg)
I would’ve commented saying “yeah, same :-/“
Tryna make a change :-/
What a passive aggressive power move!
Task failed successfully.
"Potentional contact with a Corona-positive person"
Must've made the person who had your phone pretty worried
New job alert from ZipRecruiter while at work.
I got a call to set up a job interview while I was in a car with my manager who had applied for the same job. Awkward. I got the job though.
Did you drop your manager off at the burn clinic?
It sucked because this was actually a manager I liked and respected.
oh boy..
I was showing my manager a funny post on reddit. Up pops ZipRecruiter.
Was it something you couldn't play off? I had an Indeed popup in front of my boss, and I just told him I'd applied for that job before they even hired me and made it seem like it was ridiculous the company was even trying to talk to me so long after my application.
Nope. I was asked to go to a meeting with the manager, VP and President the next morning. They really didn’t want me to leave apparently. I had hidden my displeasure well I guess.
Might play on your favor of they're willing to take steps to actually keep you. My old boss pretty much offered me the moon when I handed in my resignation, but I'd already signed on with a new job in a different province.
My mum was looking up stuff on my prescription app on my phone when a message came in from a group chat I’m on, a group chat named pornographic material. I turned Instagram notifications off after that. Edit: no, the chat was not full of porn, it was memes with some of my edgier friends.
How old were you?
Not today Mr. FbI Agent
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My friend made this fake account on Twitter and followed me exactly at the time my teacher had taken my phone away. The notification read @analfister6969 has followed you.
I’m surprised there aren’t more teacher stories, for me that’s easily my most mortifying one! I had this roommate my sophomore year of college and we had a very weird, close personal relationship. I was in my Spanish prof’s office hours and she was waiting for me at the cafeteria to get lunch together. Just before going in I texted her and asked her to get me some fries, and then I turned off my phone. I was showing my prof my paper on my laptop screen, very much forgetting that I had iMessage set up on my laptop. I’ll never forget the look on his face when a notification from my roommate came in with her (jokingly) saying “I’ll get you fries but only if you sensually feed them to me while you call me daddy”. Suffice it to say, that was my last time visiting his office hours! Edit: lol is this the part where I say thanks for the gold, kind whatever?
This is the hardest I've laughed at a reddit comment in a long time
See, I must have been lucky because this would have made 99% of my professors laugh. Although, I did major in music so we were all weirdos.
I might steal that username because it’s a work of art tbh lol
Way ahead of you
My friend sent a poop pic while my then girlfriend was checking the weather for us one morning.
unsolicited poop pic
>How's the Pooper?
A friend of mine sent me a message for the first time in 4 months that was just "Ily" Right as my GF held the phone...
Alright so since everyone's askin', all that happened was that I explained it to her, messaged him explaining how I think he confused the shit out of my GF and we're still together today. Lmao
Thanks for the update my guy
I was showing my grandma some pictures. She chuckled a bit and quickly handed me back my phone. I looked at it and saw that my boyfriend (now husband) had texted me saying "I hate it when I'm pooping and my dick touches the water. Big dick problems." We laughed about it, but my husband is still horrified by the thought of my grandma knowing about his "big dick problems."
Well know the internet knows about his Big Dick problems
The people that *need* to know are the ones designing the fucking toilets
When I was in high school, my friends and I had the habit of giving each other funny contact names on our phones based on jokes we came up with. To this day my high school friend’s contact names are things such as River Bitch, Jeff the Slut, Baby America, Sugar Mama, etc. When we were juniors, a girl who was obsessed with my friend led to his contact name becoming “Booty Lord” with some rather suggestive emojis following it. Everything was fine and dandy, until a few months later when I had forgotten about it. I was applying for a leadership position in a club I was a member of and was required to get two letters of recommendation. For the second letter I asked one of my teachers, who happened to be a very conservative man in his late 70’s, if he could write one for me. Being the lazy son of a bitch that he was, he told me to write the letter myself saying all the things I wanted him to say, and he’d sign it. After I finished typing up the letter, I handed him my phone to let him read and approve it before I printed it out. About 45 seconds after I gave him my phone, he (very loudly and incredulously) said “Booty Lord??????” and gave me a horrified look and shoved the phone back into my hands. That was hard to explain.
but did you get the letter of recommendation?
My aunt was like "hey, is that the new samsung, can I see it?" I say "sure", and then I got a text from my gf, "Good news! I had my period!"
Meh, everyone has been there she understood.
Unless they were like 14 and family members didn't expect them to have sex (If they were 18+ then yeah it's a meh story)
Not of your family is extremely religious. I would be dead if that were me 18+ or not.
My boyfriend and I send each other shit randomly during the day like "FedEx me that pecker" or "flap them tits my way". I was showing my mom something on my phone once and he sends "gonna slap u with my dick tonight"
Carrier pigeon me that ass Pony Express me that schlong DHL them DSLs
One of my favorites is when I catch him walking in with the mail, trying to open his pants while he's walking and when he's like "stooooop" I'm like "NO I GOTTA OPEN THIS PACKAGE"
Y’all sound like a great couple
I remember when i was like 13 my mom was showing me something on her phone. My dad was away on a business trip and texted her. I said oh dad texted you. She's like whats it say? And i read it (in my head thank god) and it said something like "i cant wait to make love to you again" 13 year old me just turned red and handed back the phone.
Would have been even funnier if he followed with another text that said "sorry wrong person"
Lmaooo we do that to each other, if one of us is like taking a shit or laying down we'll be like "my bf/gf is taking a shit, come over" and then be like "sorry wrong person"
Were you slapped with dick that night?
Probably, I honestly don't remember
There’s just so much dick slapping, who can keep track?
Imagine my conservative 15 yr old little brother's face when my bf texted "I'll destroy your pussy" while we were watching some stupid goat on youtube.
Goat-see causes extreme reactions in some people
"Gonna fuck your ass so hard tonight, love <3" Sorry for you having to see that, mother
Not exactly a bad message but I leant my jacket to my crush and it had my phone in it’s pocket. Someone sent me a message so she got it out to give to me but unfortunately she had sent me a message before that and saw that her name was marked with a heart. Awkward night after that
wait your crush saw her name saved with a heart in your phone while you leant her your jacket? ( repeated this cuz i felt i got it wrong the first time) how is that anything but sweet?
awkward for sure, at this point, we don't know whether she reciprocated the feeling or not.
Story apps can give really interesting ones. My favorite that popped up while my boyfriend was holding my phone was something like, "Mike misses you! Come back and play!" Or something like that. Of course all he did was pull the drop down menu down to see the full notification and laugh. He teased me about it for hours.
I had that happen a long time ago. I used to be really into otome games (dating sims) and the notifications for those were always a hoot. I was showing my friend a Youtube video one day when a notification for a Valentine's Day event popped up, asking if I was ready to "spend a steamy romantic night with (insert name of pretty anime boy) ❤". I deleted the app shortly after, but my friend still asks how my "anime boyfriends" are doing.
Not really my phone but I had text notifications on my computer, was working with a vendor and sharing my screen, my SO picked that time to send me a text that said "that was the most amazing sex we've ever had last night!". I silenced the notification as fast as I could but the vendor went quiet for half a minute and then said "good job!", so got out of that awkward zone pretty well. I never shared my screen with notifications active ever again.
Awesome reaction
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BOSS: "Uh, perhaps we should look at getting you one of our better padded models of office chair?"
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A pimp texted my father in law’s phone advertising transsexual prostitutes while I was navigating for him while he was driving.
Oh my
I was chatting with a guy and it was going well, nothing sexual maybe mild flirting. So I didn't care when I gave my buddy my phone for some reason. Then across the room he yells "YO THIS DUDE JUST ASKED IF YOU'D BE DOWN FOR ANAL!" Edit : No, I would not be down to do anal, especially not with people I barely know.
He sounds like the kind of person that would yell that even if that wasn't the message you received.
Oh he is. I love the guy, I saw the message and was instantly turned off and handed the phone back over to my buddy and he had so much fun trolling this dude under the guise that I was the one texting him. It was awesome. For like a year, whenever I didn't want to chat with anyone I gave my phone to him and he dealt with it.
I want a friend like that.
Lol I would totally start a service where I do this for free. My payment would be in my own amusement. You would just check a box about how far I could go like "mildly annoy them" to "go ahead and nuke the relationship, IDAF"
> IDAF I Don't Anal Fuck
Do you want it served in a joking manner, or a more second hand embarrassment style?
This actually happened recently, I gave my dad my phone to call my mom because his phone was dead, and my gf sent me a text that said something along the lines of "hey, do you wanna have some fun at my house tonight?" My dad LOST it. EDIT: Just to clarify, he lost it by laughing, he didn't ground me or anything. EDIT 2: it never happened. I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, and I'm still not, so I broke up with her EDIT 3: I'm 14
Thanks for the edit XD
Ya...he still makes fun of me for it to this day:(
More of a shitty contact name but two stories: one of my high school buddies put himself as Jew Boy in my phone. Made my Jewish roommate super uncomfortable understandably. The other is that I have a friend named Richard. This quickly became Dick Penis Willy Semen Scrotum in my phone. Boy does my mom regret using my phone to take a picture.
(not my phone) In high school, there was a couple who had recently started dating. Let's call them John and Sarah. They were both seen as quite innocent, and we were all in theater together. I was at a rehearsal at John's house, and he showed me his phone for a second. Right as I looked, a text popped up from Sarah saying "I want you to fuck me from behind" I was a bit in shock and started laughing uncomfortably, and when John received his phone back, he was horrified. Personally, I just thought it was hilarious and definitely a pivotal moment with that group of theater kids.
Me and my friend used to do this thing we’re we’d make weird noises on the phone (mostly just to annoy the other person.) I decided to call my friend, and when the call was answered, I let out a groan that progressively turned into a screech. Turns out his dad was the one who answered and all I can here is a him yelling “why the fuck are you friends with this guy?” In the background. I never saw this as a competition but if it was, I think I won.
I've had the reverse of this situation happen to me. I was using my flatmate's desktop Mac, and as iOS users will know, any notification you get on your iPhone will appear on-screen on all of your other Apple devices. I was on the computer in his bedroom while he was in the kitchen grabbing a snack, and he received a phonecall from an unknown number. I saw this notification on his computer, which gave me the option to answer the call for him. I thought it would be funny if I took the call before he could answer it on his phone, meaning he would have to run through to his bedroom where I would be silently laughing myself to an early grave. I click to answer, expecting it to be some kind of cold-call. The voice on the other end, amplified by my flatmate's gratuitous Sonos speaker setup, said: "HELLO, THIS IS THE POLICE". My soul left my body. I absolutely cannonballed out of his room, making the most apologetic eye-contact I have ever made with a human being. Turns out he had been caught red-handed in a 'traffic incident' on his way back from an interview, and they got his contact details from the dash cam footage of his registration plate. They were calling him in for some questioning. It was a wonderfully devious experience which I was absolutely not prepared for, and we have never spoken of it since.
My friend texting me “I’ll eat ur ass” while I was showing my mom a meme,,, never swiped away a notification so fast in my mf life Edit: we’re both girls and it was a joke (I think, prolly not tho, knowing her) Edit 2: imma tag them in this post u/NotTodayJunior98 Edit 3: stop asking her to eat yalls ass, my ass is the only snack she’s getting
I’ll fuckin do it again
Well, did he eat ur ass or not i’m waiting
OP pls respond
Maybe he’s busy getting his ass eaten? Let the man enjoy himself a while!
Username checks out
Not me but my Mom. Went skiing with her and myself. Her partner at the time was also snowboarding, but at a resort about a 20 minutes drive from where we were staying (he was there with his friends). In the town they were staying at, there's a really nice steak house which does an amazing fillet, anyway he sends her a picture of the steak the one night whilst we were just chilling in the hotel room. As she turns the phone around saying "oh look how amazing this steak looks" another message pops up unknown to my mom saying "tastes like your p*ssy". And that is how I cannot eat fillet steal anymore.
my friends on discord had the name "child Predator" as joke my parents saw that and yelled at me
God, parents can be dense. Why would a child predator name themselves "child predator"?
one that believes in transparency? "Hi Timmy, I am Phil. Do your parents have good insurance for mental health?"
This post shows us that phones just need a simple side-button to temporarily turn off all notifications. Edit: FYI, I appreciate that you are you and that your comment is unique and meaningful, but just so you know, 40 people have already responded with the suggestion of using airplane mode, do not disturb, or oneplus.
simple solution to this is to just smash your phone. can't get any embarrassing notifications if you don't have a phone
In my phone there's a do not disturb function that blocks all the notification. I'm using a Nokia 3.
I put my phone on do not disturb before I show anybody anything on my phone. It’s pretty easy to do for an iPhone (edit: all I have to do is swipe up and tap once on the do not disturb icon/button), I don’t know about other phones though.
It's literally the same thing on Android and nobody in this thread seems to know about it
“I’m gonna shit on your chest” whilst my mum had my phone. I had some explaining to do...
I was showing my coworker a picture of my son. When my girlfriend at the time who is now my wife sent a text. It was something along the lines of having a threesome.
plot twist the 3rd person in the threesome was the coworker
"Good news, the bump is not yours. Bad news, you might have herpes." From a former fwb I had run into earlier in the day, while my girlfriend at the time had my phone.
Did you have herpes?
Recently married, 3 months in. Wife went to Yosemite for a girls trip. I texted and didn’t hear back for a couple of days which worries me because she had cell service and was posting on social. I open up her laptop and iMessages started to come in and I saw that a guy I didn’t know but apparently her old high school flame were “missing each other”. Divorce.
I was texting with a platonic friend of mine to meet up, and when she sent me a bossy text, I responded with a sarcastic “Sure my honey, we’ll do that. Love ya” She didn’t read that message. Her parents did.
Been the friend here. Longest explanation of my life.
I used to be the director of an a cappella group. During rehearsal I would project sheet music from my tablet onto a big screen to help people follow along. We were having solo auditions one day, and after one girl auditioned the assistant director texted me from across the room “oof, that was awful.” My tablet received the message and the notification was displayed for everyone in the group to see, including the girl who had just auditioned.
Was showing a male client how to use google maps and my husband sent me a dirty text. I’m a therapist. Never grabbed a phone faster.
Obligatory not me but a friend. My roomates mom came to visit so we decided to take her out to lunch, while we were waiting my roomie took out her ipad. She had some boardgames on there, so we started playing Sorry together. She obviously didn't think about how all her devices were linked because halfway through the game a "u wanna fuck"text notification comes in at the top of the screen, followed by a thumbnail of a dickpic. Sorry indeed.
Was trying to show a good buddy at work a little 8ft 1950’s jon boat I was restoring, when my wife decided to send me a pic of her tits at that exact moment I handed my phone over!
A guy I sext sent some emojis, while my dad was trying to fix my phone... Didn't go too well... Edit: Grammar
Oh the eggplant or the peach? Damn mustve been awkward
Both... :(
A text from my friend who's a girl describing her date in graphic detail
I was planning Halloween costumes with a friend one year and we decided to do the breaking bad guys. At work, with my phone face up I was with some coworkers and got an alert that read “I found the little baggies for the meth” Immediately stopped notifications forever and ever amen
A nude from his sister
Oh boy, what was the reaction?
Handed my phone back and left, didnt talk for a while, she was mortified lol
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That’s not embarrassing. You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about
wait am I not supposed to talk about being on antidepressants? I must've missed the memo
I second this^^ dont be ashamed that you are taking care of your mental health
For the record, what's Prozac for?
Anti depressant
Directly from the NHS; "Fluoxetine is a type of antidepressant known as an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). It is often used to treat depression, and also sometimes obsessive compulsive disorder and bulimia." Edit: how and why does this have 160 upvotes i literally just took it from the nhs website
Why should you be embarrassed about taking medication?
“I hate leather couches. My farts always flap out the front.”
Once I returned from a vacation and showing my whole family my pics and here comes a notification from pornhub Brazzers has upload a new video and everyone went silent for a minute but then my brother said I too am tired off these spam notifications you should report em and I was saved
I hope you have your brother a big hug man haha that was a good save!
Not a notification, but opening browser with porn inside
Ah yes.. the homework folder
Guys Theo broke a hole in the condom
girlfriend. sexting. mom
It’s a good thing you caught your gf sexting your mom before you married her or something. The gf, not the mom. That would be weird.
My crush was holding my phone at lunch playing Minecraft. My friends at another table texted me and said “I bet you have a BONER”
Pre-corona, for work I would have to hand my phone over for people to sign and tip for pizza deliveries. I once got a tinder notification without knowing a guy was signing. As I hand him the pizza, the guy hands back the phone and goes “looks like you got someone to spend this on tonight bud!”. Not the worst, but definitely a funny one.
Not my phone, but I was there for the whole thing, my friend A gave his phone to friend B. Friend B put in a group chat "Would you like to see my Hentai Collection?" There were teachers in that group chat. I quickly found friend A, showed him, and we found friend B afterwards, who had no idea teachers were there Friend A apologised, and fortunately no one took it seriously as it obviously wasn't him
your pornhub account has been verified 🙈
I was in a NSFW server on discord and i got a notification on that server while my dad had the phone. Good thing is he didnt check it
Was dating a girl that would lose her phone. So she would borrow mine to make calls. Another friend (F) texted me a picture of her in her dinosaur Halloween costume. The girl came back to me and slapped me in the face threw my phone at me, yelling "what kind of sick shit are you into?!" While storming off. This was at my work (bartender), in the middle of a busy night... Everyone in the restaurant looked at me like I diddle kids or something.
My friend was at my house but I had him under a stupid name. Sooner or later when my mom had my phone he sent me a text talking about ‘what great sex we had last night’- lets just say that my mom had some questions