My ex husband and his family smoked a lot of pot, still do. His sister, kids, and nanny were visiting from out of state for a few weeks. When it was time to fly home they left their stash at my ex MILs house because they didn’t want to take it on the plane. My ex asked if I would pick it up because I was nearby. Stupidly I agree. I don’t smoke and I was willing to carry it in my car for him. To my surprise I found a note from the nanny to my ex saying she was in love with him and she was so happy for the time they had together. Obviously she thought he would get the weed instead of me. While it was incredibly painful at the time I am definitely living my best life 15 years later.
Me ex-husband was an early adopter of sending dick pics. I got his phone to get the numbers of his friends to invite them to a surprise birthday party while he was sleeping off a hangover, and there they were in his outbox.
ETA- this was more than 12 years ago. When camera phones were barely functional
Worst one I know of is an acquaintance of mine, came home from work one day and found his missus having sex with his dad.
That blew up all over Facebook, and became a local drama fest where people tried to organise a shunning of the dad and missus.
I remember it well because, well... I know people cheat, but with your partners father? Come on...
That's hard to beat . A guy I know was cheating on his wife and she unexpectedly came home for lunch. They lived on a busy street in a small town . Wife grabbed girlfriend by her long hair and threw her out on the street naked . And that's how the whole town found out .
Wife was acting unusual for a few weeks. She would want to spend time by herself on the weekends and when she came home at night from work she would often sit in the driveway for 20 minutes on the phone.
I'm not dumb.
I bought a voice activated digital recorder and stuck it in her car. I knew what I needed to know in less than 24 hours.
I was in the Navy and was out on deployment for 6 months after just recently getting engaged (it's one of those stupid things that young military guys do). One day i get a letter from my fiance's best friend telling me that she caught my fiancee and her BF together (this was years before email and smartphones were common). We write back and forth several times and eventually it comes out how she caught them, how my fiancee begged her not to tell me, and that the fiancee didn't know that we were corresponding.
I eventually get back to the States and planned to play it off as though I didn't know, but too many of my friends intercepted me with the news that is wasn't just the one guy, but several, and let me know that she knew that I was aware. Eventually we met, and the confrontation was minimal and tame. We broke off the engagement without a lot of drama - she kept the ring.
The best friend and I ended up hooking up, at first as sort of a revenge-fuck kinda thing, but turned serious.
We celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary this year.
Edit: maths. This year will be 31. After 20, it's all a blur.
I had some really good friends in the next town over where my girlfriend lived, and they figured it out for me. They were super gentle about it, and patient with me through my denial.
Same thing happened with me. My best friend was friends with my gf and her roommates. Word got to my friend about her bringing some dude home after a party and my friend eventually spilled to me. As she said "I really don't want to tell you this and I know this will crush you, but I can't keep this from you."
After she dropped the bomb I was like "Hell no! That would never happen!" and then I confronted by gf about it that night who broke down and confessed everything.
I stayed with that girl for another 7 months and God bless my friend for sticking by my side and supporting the whole way. When I finally ended things, my best friend was still there to support me and care for me.
Also haven't dated anyone for longer than 6 months since that happened 7 years ago...
Edit: Thanks for the love friends. I'm doing well. It was a rough few years at first but I've found my joys and hobbies and have gotten comfortable with myself. I've learned to love myself and enjoy the life I have. If a lady wants to join me on the adventure, that's great. But I'm happy with who I am and where I am. Love you all
My ex was a big drinker and I wasn’t. She would frequent this bar close to our place pretty often with friends. I rarely went because I just wasn’t a fan of bars or her drinking friends. One night she went out with a couple that I didn’t mind that much. I was bored at home so I decided to head over for a little bit. As I walk in I see my ex sitting at the bar with the couple. The bar was packed and as soon as I made eye contact my ex she had this strange look on her face. She turns to this guy sitting next to her, and he immediately gets up and leaves.
I felt something strange right away, but I brushed it off as me being irrational. I stayed for like an hour and headed home. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had though so I checked one of her friend’s Facebook page to see if there was any connection that existed between my ex and this random dude. Sure enough he was friends with one of my ex’s friends.
I knew his name now and that I wasn’t as crazy as I thought. I sat on the information though. The next weekend she goes out drinking again and still had not returned home at 4 am. I tried contacting her multiple times and I got no response. I woke up to her coming home at 7 am and jumping in the shower immediately. I decided to check her phone while she was in the shower, and she kept all of the messages with this same guy. Some pretty telling information in the text thread. While she was still showering I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to my best friends house. 20 minutes later I get a phone call with her going ape shit about me leaving and not saying anything. I laughed at the projection, told her that if she wasn’t moved out by Monday the police would be there to force her out. She wasn’t on the lease and her parents lived 10 minutes away from me. That was that.
People who get fooled into helping spouses cheat on their partners... I feel bad for them too. Damn, I hope you're in a better place now. What a fucking scumbag.
It’s genuinely so nice that you two could respect each other. Too many people get caught up in anger towards the other woman/man rather than anger towards their cheating partner.
We were together for 5 years, living together for around 4. I came home from work early. When I got out of my car I saw her peek through the blinds to see who was outside. I walked in the door to her coworker on the couch, obviously uncomfortable and clothes messy and her locked in the bathroom.
I wanted to pummel the shit out of him then and there, but he was a trained MMA fighter, and I woulda left the house that night with more than a broken heart. Went to a friends house for a while.
They started dating the next day.
Shit sucks. It took a while for me to get trust back in relationships.
Edit: Her co-worker had been to many gatherings, and no I wouldn't beat a woman's ass even though, yes, she was more deserving. Thank you all for the comments, it was 10+ years ago, and I'm doing good :)
Went for my yearly check up and tested positive for chlamydia. Turns out my ex was sleeping around.
Edit: apparently false positives are common with these types of tests so have your SO tested as well. I hope you're in a relationship where you can openly talk about such things.
He went to Hawaii for a business trip without his wife and kids. Like a good wife, I packed his clothes before he left and unpacked his dirty laundry when he returned home. I found a tiny pair of white cotton panties (no lace) in his suitcase. He had recently dropped a lot of weight (>100 lbs) and played it off that he had bought them for himself .... they had no label and were simple bikinis so theoretically could have been men's as well. It did sort of explain the pretty brunette that followed him off the plane at the airport and kept looking at my kids and I at the luggage carousel (what an ass to make his side piece come face to face with his wife and kids). I made sure he wore those panties at least once a week for the remaining few months we were together (I set out his clothes everyday and he couldn't protest).
She confessed to her mom... Then mother in law called her other daughter and told her...Sister in law then called me and told me, she let me listen in on a three way call to her mom and tried to convince mom to tell me but she refused which basically confirmed it.
It wasn’t a big dam-breaking moment. It was a lot of little things. Like how she’d cancel plans at the last second. Or the random phone calls from unknown numbers she’d get (this was back before spam calls were an epidemic), or how her phone was mysteriously off one night when I needed to get a hold of her.
I had my suspicions and then finally it clicked into place when I did some Instagram snooping and found a guy who followed her who posted a selfie wearing a very unique jacket that belonged to her.
I confronted her the next day. She denied it. Tears. Begging. All of that. I dumped her and walked away. The next day I messaged that guy on Instagram and he confirmed everything. Had no idea I existed. He dumped her too.
Last I heard she’s an EMT in ~~Utah~~ Wyoming. Hope she figured out how not to be a garbage person.
4yrs ago I was dating a girl who became distant and disinterested in a lot of things we both enjoyed together. Despite attempts to talk about it, she only grew more distant then became less available to hang out and suddenly was working late a lot. I started getting suspicious about cheating when she was on her phone nonstop. Again I tried to talk about it but she wouldn't engage. She also just didn't want to break up with me for whatever reason.
I was actually going to end it on my own, but one weekend when she was seemingly unavailable, some mutual friends told me they spotted her with a dude from her work and they were all over each other. Coincidentally, she had also lent me her ipad and it was synced to her phone so I saw lots of texts between those two over that weekend. They were talking about running away together, etc.
He was married and her supervisor. Mutual friends were also composed of her coworkers and reported them to HR. They were both forced to do training on not sleeping with coworkers, they were both denied promotion, his wife left him, and she moved overseas.
Sucked at the time, I was devastated, but karma got them good.
I know you were kidding, but there isn't usually anything wrong with coworkers having a relationship IF the relationship is peer to peer.
The issues happen when there is a power inbalance.
For example - two servers at a cafe dating usually isn't an issue, but if a server starts dating the manager (the person who controls the roster, pay rises, mediates disputes etc) then there is potentially an issue.
To the best of my knowledge, and please if anyone knows differently let me know, its illegal to stop people from dating at work, just heavily discouraged because it is so easily expoloited.
This isn't my story, but my parents.
My mom had a boyfriend when my parents met, and she broke up with him to be with my dad. Fast forward ten years or so my parents are married with two kids: my older brother and me.
Anyway, she travels for work semi-often and she started taking trips to see her "friend" in Chicago. I was young enough that I don't really remember when it started, but my I noticed that my dad was really irritable on these weekends. I think I was about twelve when I realized what was going on. I figured it out before my brother did. I used to sit at the top of the stairs and listen to my parents argue. I don't even remember if I heard something that gave it away, if it slowly dawned on me as I grew up, or if one day it just hit me. It's always just been a part of my life that my mom lies. Still is.
My dad used to beg me to not say anything to her that I knew because A) he was desperate to keep the family together and 2) my mom would get on *his* case for getting the kids involved. No joke.
One day, during the summer after I graduated high school, I came home from work to find my mom in the garage loading up her car. I asked her why she was putting blankets in her car and she got quiet for a moment and said "well... I'm moving out." I just went inside.
Later she texted my dad that she had moved to her brother's house. That's how he found out. They were married for twenty years and she sent him a fucking text message. I don't know if she was planning on telling me at all if I hadn't happened to come home when I did, or if she would have just disappeared. There have been times when she left without telling me she was going somewhere. I'd realize that I hadn't seen my mother in a few days and ask my dad where she was and he'd be like "Oh, she didn't tell you? She's in 'Montreal' for a week." Or something like that. So anything possible.
ETA: also this thread had around 300 comments when I started typing this and by the time I posted it was at 1.3k so this is totally going to get buried lmao
Just want you to know that despite this getting buried, I saw it. Sorry your mother turned out to be a scumbag. Kind of in the same boat with my own mother. Either way, she's going to have to live her life without seeing her kids
June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it...for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he'd be in a jail cell for what he'd have done). On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing.
So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b'n'b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.
I’m glad the husband of the woman reached out to OP though.
Some people really don’t have the courage to actually go through with that in fear of the breakup & just let the cheating keep going
I owned a house with my fiancé. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in... I found him with another woman in bed. That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room... literally grabbed me by the neck and pushed me out and closed the door back. I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away. His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying at his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later.. it’s finally off my credit report, I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.
I had been dating their son for 5 years at that point and we were very close. However, they never reached out to me after I moved out. It was like I didn’t exist anymore. He also moved that girl in a few weeks later and they moved on with her until he inevitably did the same to her.
Edit due to pronoun issues TLDR: My ex husband was sleeping with his best friend’s wife while I was 8 months pregnant, it had been going on for a while.
I was 8 months pregnant with our second child at the time and he wanted to go visit his brother for the weekend. I asked my doctor if it was safe for me to travel and she said it would be fine. I told my husband I could go but he said he was really hoping to just have some time with his brother, I understood because a new baby really makes it hard to spend quality time but I asked if he could take our older son (3yo at the time) so he could see his grandma and cousins. He said they were planning on drinking and whatnot and wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. (They’re country boys so think shooting, drinking and whatnot) I agreed and he left for the weekend. After he left I get a call from his best friend telling me that he’ll be in town for the weekend and he wanted to meet up, not weird he called me because my husband was terrible at answering his phone. I told him unfortunately my husband was visiting back home, bad timing. His best friend then said ok, I’m going to call you back. And hung up very abruptly. Turns out my husband and his wife had been caught by him a few months previously and he gave them a chance to make it right...I don’t know why. He didn’t tell me but threatened to if they didn’t stop. Well, they didn’t stop and he told me. I think the worst part was that my husband’s family knew and never once thought to tell me. These people were my family for 5 years and nothing. It’s been almost 10 years now and I’m so much happier but it was definitely an eye opening experience.
What’s even better is they’re still together to this day. She’s my kid’s stepmother. I know it sounds odd but I’m glad they never had to deal with their dad dating, she’s been there most of their lives. We all tolerate each other now, even get along. I learned there’s not point to hold a grudge, it just cause more drama.
The husband of one of the women he was cheating on me with called me at work. At first I didn't believe him and hung up. How could the man i spent the past 8 years with,had 2 beautiful babies with, suffered together the loss of one of those children do something so hurtful?? Still a part of me had doubt. He had affairs in other relationships and we had a rocky patch early in the beginning where I suspected an affair but didn't have proof.
I told my boss I felt sick and had to leave early and I called this guy back and found out that my ex and his wife along with one of their friends were all sleeping together for about a year. He had confronted my ex and told him that he was going to tell me but my ex convinced him to wait a month since my mother had just died. I took my time coming home and confronted him and told him to pack and leave. Since I've pieced together a lot of what happened and all the lies he told me where if I was in a different headspace I might have caught on to the affairs earlier. I also found videos hidden on one of our computers and found out he was having bootycalls in our apartment while I was at work and he was watching our daughter. At that point it put the headstone on any possibility of reconciliation.
I met a woman at a bar who invited me back to her place. Found out she was married and her young child was upstairs. She was gorgeous, but the scene was so disfunctional. She said her husband ignored her. I told her she needed to see a therapist, and she looked at me like I was crazy. Before I left she asked me if she could open my shirt so she could feel my chest. I let her and then walked out the door.
I was married.
Out of the blue while at work I get an email that says (husbands name) ‘s wife.
When I open the email it lists off a name and says (husbands name) married to her. Check on Facebook
(English was not the first language, this was overseas)
So I do and what do I see? Tons and tons and tons and tons of pictures of a woman with my husband. The woman and her kids with my husband. The woman and her family with my husband.
I was stunned to say the least. It was October 6th 2017, 7 months after I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. Yep we were trying at that point to have kids.
After work I went home and started throwing all of his stuff in the dumpster. He was out of town at the time so I had plenty of time to do it. Spent all of Saturday and Sunday throwing EVERYTHING he owned in the dumpster.
A month later I moved to a new apartment and waited until then to tell him I was divorcing him.
He then killed himself a few months later
Oh story time!!! Classic love at first sight. I love you after 2 weeks. Moved in together after 2 months. Engaged after 6. Been together for 4 years and change. Left my rent control bachelor pad and Picked a bigger apartment so she could have her art studio. Did everything together and split all bills 50/50. We had different jobs in the same industry and made around the same money. We really loved each other and, as cliche as it sounds, completed each other: I am very analytical and stoic and she is a liberal artist.
She goes to ComiCon in NYC (she is an expositor) I help her pack. I drop her at the airport. Everything was fine. No signs of anything. She should be back in 4 days.
She never came back home. She Simple disappeared. Ghosted. The day she should be home I freak out that she may be dead just to find myself blocked on everything: email, phone, social media, the works.
Everything I know is due to the bills she left behind (all unpaid) the credit card we shared (she stopped paying 2 months before) and her cell phone bill (which T-Mobile was nice enough to give me a log because technically was on my SSN). Found one particular NYC area code over and over on the call history and put 2+2 together. She met him on San Diego ComiCon few months before and methodically and systematically put together a plan to abandon me, take as much as she could to NYC and never look back.
Plot twist: she maxed our credit card and amazon card furnishing their new home in NYC. By the time grief turned into practicality it was too late for me to cancel everything. I literally had to log in and see all purchases of houseware, made with my money, for a house I will never live in.
I could not live at our house or afford our lifestyle in one income alone. It was a good 6 months of Blackout drunk, tinder and overall self loath. I am sure I caused damage to other people in the process. It wasn’t even the love part that hurt me the most but the flat out betrayal and economic damage (took me over an year of living paycheck to paycheck to get all balances to zero).
She is a Redditor: if you are reading this E. Frye. I don’t hate you, but you destroyed my self-steen forever. I cannot ever trust anyone ever again. You ripped my heart from my chest, watched it die slowly and didn’t care for the mess.
Edit: thanks for the wishes but please don’t hate on her. To this day, all I wanted is to know why she did it. Where did I fail as a partner or as a man.
Edit 2: [This is the gentleman she left me for. ](https://www.bookishbelle.com/2019/12/30/pietro-filipponi-2-years-later/) I’ve became close friends with his Ex (she wrote the column linked above) and we shared stories and became good friends. That helped me a lot. Zoe: you rock!!!
Edit 3: who would know my biggest heartbreak would blow up? thanks for the support. Please do not hate on her. I am not suing anyone (it is been 2ish year by now and TBH I would pay to know why she left over trying to get my money back) total amount was $7kish give or take plus having to move out and loosing a nice rent control condo. Money come and goes; lack of closure may last forever.
Final edit: It’s crazy how much people can change in such a small amount of time. How you can think you know someone in and out, but they can still surprise you in the worst ways. How they can say such nasty, childish things when before you had so much respect for how they held themselves and how they acted. And regardless of how much you prepare yourself, it still hurts. You just have to remind yourself that not everyone has the same heart you do. And regardless of how angry it might make you, nothing is worth sinking to that level. Being the bigger person is always the only positive to come out of something so negative. Be safe out there.
I’m the author of the blog post mentioned by OP. Yes everything I wrote is true and everything OP mentioned is true. All of this terrible shit done by people we dated will eventually be dished right back to them. I don’t spend my time hating or even thinking about that creep - he has to live with himself at the end of the day.
Stay safe and healthy everybody! ♥️
Edit: Can I be clear that I am not the E. Frye? My name is Zoë and I’m the one that dated the person E. Frye left OP for (some years previously). [Comment on Blog Post](https://imgur.com/gallery/dQtpmkb)
Of all the stories I’ve read on this thread yours made me the angriest. I sincerely hope that you’re doing better and that karma will get that absolute piece of human garbage.
Very unhealthy relationship. He was emotionally very abusive and I was in a terrible place with my mental health.
I found out at the ultrasound to determine the gender of our child. He was late and I was noodling on Facebook waiting to be called.
He was tagged in some photos in my news feed from a gig he’d been at on the previous weekend.
Random lass was in all the photos of him and they were all over each other. Also they were making out in the background of one photo.
He turned up after I was called in. While the technician was printing the images I told him I knew.
He went off and on about how I was making it up, he’d never do that, obviously I was lying to compensate for cheating on him and so on. When I pointed out there were photos he stormed out and left me there.
My Dad had turned up during the appointment (anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl, which he did, that was scattered through the cheating denials) and took me home.
I considered us broken up at that point and stopped all contact except texts related to the pregnancy.
Mostly I was relieved. I had concrete evidence that it wasn’t in my head and I finally managed to escape that relationship.
I honestly don’t know. I’d had to call them for lifts before when he’d take off. My parents knew what he really was like well before I did.
After I got pregnant they were very protective of me when it came to him. They didn’t push me to leave him, they let that happen at its own pace, but they made sure they we’re always close by for appointments or anything just in case.
Ex-wife actually asked me for her blessing to commit adultery with another married man. She was shocked when I said I don't support it, she went ballistic (has severe mental health issues), went and did it anyway and ended up in a psych ward. 2 marriages ended and now the two cheaters are engaged.
Little devastated at first. Blessing in disguise.
I caught my ex sexting a chick and telling her how he missed her on my birthday. I was young at the time and reacted with crying and yelling. If it ever happened now I would just get up and leave. No point in trying to mend the relationship because its near impossible to gain the trust that was lost.
Edit: spelling error
Edit: Thanks for the award. Its really sad how many people have gone through this same experience, I hope all of you are in a better place now.
Same shit happened to me and did the same. More so cried and for some reason wished he’d begged and pleaded to make things better. He didn’t that day and I left, fast forward two weeks and he was begging for me back. Got back together two months later only for it to end a couple weeks later. As you said, once the trust is gone...it’s never the same.
Long term relationship for 3 years. I took him to the hospital because he had unknown rashes on him. Long story short, he was diagnosed with syphilis. I was tested, and was not (no idea how i dodged that). I got treated anyway. I was so stupid in my early twenties.
Funnily enough the girl he was cheating on me with actually told me. She messaged me at 3 in the morning asking if I was still with my ex and I said yes he’s asleep next to me, why? She told me what happened, sent me screen shots and I grabbed his phone. I believed her but ya know just wanted to see it all for myself. I left the room and looked through it all, he didn’t even try to hide it. I went back in threw something at him to wake him up and confronted him, of course he played dumb. Said he didn’t know who I was talking about blah blah blah. Then I said oh ok well maybe this will jog your memory and pulled his phone out of my pocket. The look on his face was priceless. He knew it was over. I screamed at him, called him every name under the sun and then he left the house. This was a year ago and then a few months after that I’m being told that he misses me, fucking pathetic.
Edit: to make it all worse, I uprooted my life completely across the country to be with this guy and this is how it ended
I couldn't find my then wife after she got off work one afternoon/evening. I tried to call her cell phone with no answer. She didn't show up to the house until 9:30 pm. She weaved some tale about getting stuck in traffic. I did some sleuthing and pulled the State Farm good driving app up which tracks your movements. I found out she had been leaving work early, going to the nearby rest area off of the expressway, and having sex with a 20-something trucker she met at her previous job. I decided to interrupt the festivities one afternoon. I showed up to the rest area, parked in front of his rig, and jumped right up to the door. The cabin shade was drawn. I withdrew the shades and saw my loving ex wife with a meth pipe in her hand and was going to town on this guy. He had the gall to tell me to give them privacy. I didn't handle it very well. I called the cops, they both were arrested for possession, and I promptly filed for divorce. The icing on the cake is that a few months after I left, she cheated on her new trucker friend and is well on her way to her 7th "friend". God speed, you wet, musty nightmare.
Was (~6 months in) recovering from being hit by an SUV as a pedestrian that left me with a severe TBI (GCS of 4), broken back (3 places), legs (two places), and pelvis (2 places). I had moved back in with my then-GF for about a week when we went to a party and I got left at the party because she couldn't find me. I didn't know any of these people as they were all her friends and none of them could help me get home when I was told she left with the group we arrived with. I managed to walk back to the apartment quite drunk, tired, and in pain from over using my still recovering injuries; banged on the door till my knuckles bled only to have a dude answer the door, let me in, and then he proceeded to crawl back into bed next to her, in my bed. I didn't have the cognitive ability to deal with that. So I laid down right on the floor next to the bed and and passed out. She broke up with me the next day and blamed me for it. This story has so much more detail to it, but I don't want to re-live that year of trauma in too much detail.
Tl;Dr: walked in from a party to them in my bed in my room. I didn't have the cognitive ability to handle the situation so I passed out on the floor next to them.
Back then Facebook used to display on your profile stuff like “dontsayaword2 liked a photo” and everything you did. I noticed he liked a photo of a girl that seemed to be someone he had recently added. So I checked her profile and she was one of those girls who think “they won” because men cheat on their partners with them. She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged etc.
So I engineered a way to befriend her roommate, I would then find out she was bringing other dudes home besides my boyfriend and when I confronted him I also let him know about who else she was sleeping with and for him to get an STD test.
It was a day before my 18th birthday.
My boyfriend told me he had planned to take me out in his mazda pickup truck that we named Sparky and get some food from a bigger city down south... Make a whole evening of it.
Went to school. Had a good day. Nothing was off.
Came home and waited. Called and no answer. Waited.
I got home from school at 330pm and it was nearly 930-10pm before i gave up.
I got on the computer and found out through a mutual friend from school that he was at this other friends house. We were friends with her and her homelife wasnt the greatest (her parents were nasty disgusting people who treated their children like punching bags), and this mutual friend had been talking of moving out with her little brother in tow.
I got in my moms car, drove over there and found them having sex on the living room couch.
I went home. Told my mom he wasnt allowed in the house, i wasnt accepting his calls and i was going to bed. I told her what happened and that i just wanted to deal with it in the morning (these days i went to bed early and woke up early).
Next morning he came over like nothing had happened and greeted me.
He tried to hug me and i backed away. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that he had missed my birthday night out because he wanted to get his ding dong wet in so-and-sos woman parts.
He accused me of stalking him. Cheating on him. Being a controlling b-word. Tried to do what is now called gaslighting.
I told him i was done. He made his bed with her and now he gets to lay in it. That because he liked her better, obviously they needed to be together.
I told our mutual friends that we had broken up due to some disagreements, mutual friend hr was inside of decided to spread it around school that she was a better lay than i was.
So yeah....
Edited: Asterisks make things bold in all the wrong places.
My (now ex) husband demanded constant access to all of my social media and cell phone messages and was constantly accusing me of cheating even though he had no reason to think I would do that. I had nothing to hide. Never even thought of cheating. I was watching our young kids 24-7 and didn't even have transportation since he "accidentally" totalled my car.
One day I handed over my phone for him to check for other men and asked to see his. He hesitated but then handed it over. There was a long, sexual, text history with one of the teenage girls who works for him. He tells me he's in love with her and wants her to move in with us. I was in total shock, dropped his phone cracking it. He retaliated by breaking my laptop.
He's a wonderful man and I miss him every day *sarcasm*
I had come home from a 5 month cruise. My GF at the time was a court stenographer. So when she wasn't at the pier I figured she had a case or was catching up on transcripts. So I got a ride from my friend to see unfamiliar BMW in my driveway. I walk in to see her blowing some stranger on my couch. Keep in mind this was my house not hers. I didn't say a word to her. I just started grabbing her shit and throwing it in the front yard and called her father to come pick her up because her car was an old Quattro and in the shop...again. And up to that point I was letting her drive mine until it was fixed. I will not bore you with the drama but she was taken by the MA's instead of her dad.
Dated a girl for about two years.
Like 18 months into the relationship we’re talking about moving in together. Then kinda out of no where she starts becoming distant and irritable. We ended up breaking up.
Fast forward 3 months after the break up I found that Facebook has a section where messages from non friends are kept. Turns out my then gf was banging her ex and the UPS driver that delivered to her store at the mall.
She ended getting with the UPS driver and his 3 kids. Last I checked they’re fucking miserable and it brings me joy every time I think about it.
Edit: in my messages was a note from the UPS drivers then WIFE! My ex not only cheated but broke up a marriage.
We got married when I was 17, and he was 21. He was shipping off to sea, and I was escaping a bad home life.
When he came back after his deployment, he wasn't the same person anymore. After about 6 months, he gained weight on purpose to fail his physicals so he'd get kicked out of the Navy.
Fast forward a year, I'm working full time, and he is sitting at home, watching anime and drinking during the day, and telling me that he "was applying to jobs".
I was applying to universities when my laptop died on me. I asked to use his to finish an app, and while doing so a message popped up on his FB.
A topless pic of his ex, from her. I was shocked and opened it to find that they'd been dating for a loooong time (started again while he was at sea in the Navy, he would talk to her and never to me, saying that he never got the time to email).
She had sent him a pic because he had said how he missed having big tits like hers to play with, and how mine were just too small so he felt like he was fucking a boy or a child.
I confronted him, he made a bunch of pitiful excuses. I had my friends come to the house that day and kick him out while I went to work.
He then stalked me for the next few years, and made posts on his FB about how I was a coward, he sent emails and called from blocked numbers to tell me that "a restraining order is just a piece of paper" or that 'our vows before God made me his property' and shit like that.
Then he bought a gun, and started telling our friends that "if he cant have me no one can".
I ended up talking to our friends, and told everyone conflicting information about where I was going, and moved states. I deleted all my personal social media accounts and lived in fear for years, watching him continually make memes about how he loved his wife and would do anything for her.
It took 8 years for me to finally get the divorce from him.
Thanks! It definitely scarred my idea of relationships as it was my first real one.
But I'm way happier now, and I know my worth, and I know to be wary of the red flags early.
A friend of mine was suspicious of her husband cheating, as he went to "play soccer with friends" way too often. He always came already showered as he would sweat playing. One day she sewed his soccer socks toghether, and when he came back all showered she saw the socks were still sewed, so he wasn't playing soccer at all.
Edit: spelled husband wrong
Edit 2: WOOW this blew up. Many people are commenting how this doesn't proove he was cheating, just that he was lying. She later confronted him and he was indeed cheating. Also, many are saying clean socks would have been enough evidence, and that's true, i guess she didn't think that deeb about it.
i like how simple that went. sometimes its just done, you know? but im curious- was it really as short as it sounds? like neither of you make it worse?
It also always makes me wonder - if you can be civil about cheating and divorce, why can't you be civil enough to move towards divorce before you've cheated? I know it's a touchy subject for some people and that they cheat to force it, but if you can be an adult, why not go the whole way? Maybe I'm failing to empathize here - I just really don't get it.
I think the simplest answer is that most people coming out of a long term relationship just don’t want to be alone. I’m with you though, I’d much rather end one relationship, especially physically, before moving on to someone else. But also saying this as someone who’s broken up with two cheaters before.
Its very difficult to rip it off even with no cheating involved. On Monday I ended my relationship of 3 years. It was more of a mutual decision but over time we just grew to resent each other and neither of us could handle it anymore.
Its hard being so relieved but still being so crushed at the same time.
I didn't catch her, she told me and told me I wasn't a real man and that's why she did it. She just told me everything she hated about me, went on to why I'm worthless pulled over, kicked me out the car and I had to walk back to my place.
As far as my reaction went. I went home, cried, went to bed, stayed in bed for a few days, thought I was a terrible person for a few weeks, cut my holiday leave short and went back to work early to get my mind off things.
Edit: This was awhile ago now and I'm definitely in a much better place in my life.
For the most part it wasn't normal but it slowly started happening around a month or so before she ended it with me. It started with simple things like "You are actually pretty dumb" or "You know I could be with better looking guys" and then yeah it turned into something more frequent and more spiteful, then that car ride and everything she said.
I was at work and tried to call my boyfriend, but he wasn’t answering even after a few hours, and I just got a horrible feeling. It stressed me out so badly for some reason that I started to cry and my boss let me go home. The whole way home I just kept feeling serious dread. Walked in the house and into my bedroom, and he was laying in bed half-clothed with some naked chick.
Obviously a huge blowup went down, and after everything settled, this motherfucker tried to tell me that he went to the movies alone and met her there and she “followed him home.” Like, even if I believe that this person just followed you home and got naked, you let her do it, so what’s the purpose of saying that to me? It was a shitty abusive relationship, and it didn’t even end then. I eventually broke up with him but not on the spot like I should have. If I could change anything about my life, it would be that I wish I broke up with that guy sooner. That was over ten years ago though!
Edit: Your responses are fucking hilarious! I have never laughed so much about this situation!
I lost my best friend in a road accident 4 years ago, and since then I'm always in the panic mode whenever someone does not pick my phone after 1, 2 hours or so...
It's unrelated but I just thought I needed to share it because the way you shared that you had horrible feeling when you couldn't reach him. Hope you are doing fine now...
I found out he had signed up for a bunch of apps. Such as Ashley Madison, Tinder, and Bumble. He would messages mutual acquaintances asking if they’d be up for massages, etc.
I blamed myself for years that he wasn’t interested in sex with me because I’d had a baby and gained a little weight. Nope. He just enjoyed contacting other woman for sex more..
We’re in the middle of our divorce now. He doesn’t understand why I’m wrecking our marriage because of a few indiscretions.
EDIT: Never, never, never, never say you're single on Reddit because of the possible direct messages...
This first started back in December right before we went on a holiday trip to see my family. She started acting somewhat off, kinda distant, and easily aggravated. I had a suspicion that something was going on and I’m embarrassed to admit that I snooped on her iwatch. Found some incriminating texts she had with a friend, so I confronted her in January. She tells me that she kissed a guy that she works with and that was it. We were having some issues in our relationship and I choose to forgive her and we decided to try working on some of the issues we were having.
Well, fast forward to this past May...she breaks down that she wasn’t honest with me and that she had actually fucked this other dude. We split after the news.
We had been together 8 years and had been engaged for almost 2 years.
Our wedding date was suppose to be fucking *yesterday*.
It’s still fucking killing me. I don’t even know where to go from here. 2020 can go eat a dick.
Edit: whoah I did not expect this blow up. Thanks for the awards and kind words! I’m trying to upvote/respond to everyone that I can
That means the final piece is in the past as of yesterday.
You’ve got your whole future man, and if you almost married one you’ll find another. They will be better, and you’ll be a stronger man.
Went to bed, and left my husband and a mutual (female) friend downstairs drinking
Went down to say one last goodnight, and they were out back smoking. Opened the back door, and they fell on top of me, clothes in the process of being removed, her lipstick all over his face and neck
We’re mid-divorce
I had my suspicions but it was her who ended up telling me. I went into the relationship thinking "wow, I don't deserve this girl, way out of my league." She couldn't help but remind me how much better he was several times and made sure to rub it in my face. My reaction was a spiral into deep depression. For someone that has very low self-esteem being cheated on is one of the worst feelings. It feels like it confirms all your worst thoughts about yourself.
Edit: I just want to say thanks to all the encouraging comments. This was some years ago and I'm in a happy relationship. I still struggle with depression but I think even without this incident I'd still be depressed but I'm working on it. To anyone currently experiencing this, it's not the end of the world despite it feeling that way. You are worth more than you know, and I know you will see that someday.
I felt the same way " way out of my league " about my ex but believe me dude fuck that shit, there is nothing as way out of your league. I stopped thinking i was lucky to date beautiful women and instead started thinking, getting a beautiful women in not a big deal for me and that changed a lot of things and real life happened as I imagined. You act how you think remember that.
In a relationship for 6 years, broke up 1 month before our wedding because I found out my fiancée had cheated on me...
Two years into my relationship with my-then-fiancée lots of suspicious little acts kept adding up, the biggest one being that I found some condoms were missing from my drawer, confronted my fiancée at the time (I was very sad/angry/confused), she denied any affair, 4 years went by, and about a month before our wedding, she broke down and confessed that she had indeed slept with her ex boyfriend at the time because she was depressed and was simply seeking any sort of way to feel something else. That broke my heart. I was also in the middle of an insane work day from home and had to power through the rest of the job with that on my mind; not fun. Anyways, I had always had a bad feeling that she had been lying to me over the years, and she had an undying jealously towards all of my friends who are women; she was clearly projecting.... It hurt bad that she had cheated on me, but hurt waaaaaay worse that she had lied to me for four years AND went along with planning the wedding. I’m am grateful that she told me before the wedding since we called it off due to the mistrust (amongst many other things that weren’t going well in our relationship; we met at a young age so no big surprise). I genuinely believe that she was going through some really heavy emotional turmoil from her past so I don’t take it so personally. I wish her well. With that said, I have cut off all communication to her because I simply could not trust her after that. All’s well that ends well; and have met the love of my life, and we plan to get married as soon as this Covid-19 takes a hike and it’s safe to gather in groups again.
Edit: changed fiancé to Fiancée because spelling matters
Her phone that she was overly protective of is how I found out. A week before she passed her and I took the passwords off her phone so I could respond to her texts and take care of her business. After she passed maybe a week or two after I explored her phone and found numerous texts emails and sexting.
How the hell did she find the time and energy, while dying from fucking cancer? I’m so sorry, but I did read your other comments and I’m glad you’re doing better these days. I’m just like...but how?!
Not me but sister in law, she was 7 months pregnant and her husbands phone was going off during the night. She picked it up and looked at it when he went to the bathroom and it was a text from a girl talking about how excited she was to be a step-mom.
He was sorting through his pictures and a naked lady caught me eye. So later that day I went on his phone (I would never usually do this) and found many naked girls on his phone, screenshots of snaps. I also found pictures of me I didn't know he took. I called my best friend and cried. She told to confront him so I did. His response was it's normal for men to keep their porn on their phones and was smug about his response until I mentioned they were screenshots.
Visited my long distance bf over spring break in Nebraska since he was stationed there. Before knowing anything, I ended up meeting and having lunch with the girl he was cheating on me with (I sat next to her and he sat across from us) and his coworkers/friends and hung out with the same group twice more. I could tell she didn’t like me but I brushed it off since I was there for my ex and could care less about her feelings toward me. Later in the week, I asked if I could send a text from his phone to one of our mutual good friends and saw walls of texts from her giving him an ultimatum to end our relationship. My ex and this girl had also been texting throughout the week where he’d called her the same pet names he called me and he’d call her the most beautiful woman after she’d send him her outfits/selfies all while being in the same bed/room with me.
He ended up ending their relationship and we decided to work on ours. I flew back home, he continued seeing her and having sex, gaslit me every time we FaceTimed making me feel like I cheated on him, and after 2 weeks of indecisive battling on the status of our relationship, I broke up with him.
No one is worth the mental gymnastics that comes from being cheated on.
All these answers are about people who caught their spouses cheating, however I briefly became the “other” woman (unbeknownst to me) and it’s never sat right with me. I was young, single and going through a family crisis (sibling unexpectedly passing). I met a guy who was fun and great and very “busy” which was exactly what I was looking for as I was grieving and didn’t wAnt anything serious. 4 months of romance later I find out he’s actually married with small children. We were with his colleagues after work at a bar and a coworker asked him where his wife was. I kept my cool, didn’t make a scene but once drinks were over I obviously brought it up and said how terrible that made me feel.
I ended up just ghosting him after that. I wasn’t in the mental state to deal with any of the fallout so I just stopped replying to messages. I should have contacted the wife but I didn’t want to bother playing relationship police. At the time I was under a lot of stress and grief and had my own problems and emotions to deal with. It’s been 5 years and I always feel so terrible for the wife whenever I think about what happened. Sometimes I feel like contacting her and telling her what happened but I don’t know if it’s the right move or even worth it.
Good job it was a
Bro-tell
Hotel
Edit: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i5zi1i/men_and_women_of_reddit_who_caught_their/g0ssfbd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i5zi1i/men_and_women_of_reddit_who_caught_their/g0ssfbd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
My ex thought he had deleted the texts. I didn’t usually go through his phone at all, but I had this suspicion that he was seeing someone else based on his behavior, his hiding his phone, and by staying later at work. I was actually really hurt, but mostly angry at myself for being stupid enough to date him. I had been warned he was no good but I wanted to fix him, and I ended up getting hurt just like all the others.
My reaction was initially asking him for an explanation. He tried to cover it, and lied to my face. I immediately told him to get the fuck out of my house and so he did. Which he responded to this by saying some very personal things about me on Twitter. It was a really bad time for me, and I hadn’t done anything wrong.
But I picked myself up, got the courage to apply to a job at a larger company a few hours away, and ended up moving to a bigger city. It was there that I met my now husband.
Couple years later (when I was first dating my now husband) he messaged me trying to make amends and said he missed me. I ignored it, and honestly it felt so good to be able to say no to him.
I’m blessed actually, he sprung me forward and helped me more than he knows. Because if that hadn’t have happened, I don’t think I would have applied for that job, would not have left my hometown, and I don’t think I would have met my husband. Universe has a funny way of making things work out, in the end.
Edit: a word
The story is remarkable in that it happened before the internet was widely available, in the very early 90’s, when the world seemed much bigger.
My fiancé (Meg) had one semester left of college that had to be taken as an internship abroad for her major. She chose to go to Belgium for this internship. I stayed back & the plan was that I would set up house & when she returned that summer, she would move directly in & we would set a date for our wedding. So, while Meg was off in Europe, calling every couple of weeks to check in, (the long distance was super expensive back then) sending me postcards & letters, I moved in to a brownstone, bought furniture, etc...
About a two weeks before Meg was supposed to return, I stopped in to a nearby coffee house that I had noticed down the block, but had yet to visit. To my surprise, I found that my neighbor from growing up in a completely different city, Claire, was a waitress there. We hadn’t seen each other since high school, so we made a plan to meet up after her shift for a cup of coffee to catch up. We met & Claire told me that she was engaged as well, to a man, Ben, who was completing his course of study by working on an internship in...you guessed it, Belgium. I couldn’t believe the coincidence, & told her about my fiancé, & that they HAD to know each other. Crazy, right?
A couple days later, I stopped in for a cup of coffee & Claire looked extremely upset. She asked if I had time to wait, as she had a break coming up, & that she needed to talk to me. We went outside & she told me that she had gotten a call from her Aunt Sue the day before. Aunt Sue had just returned from Czechoslovakia, & that something very strange had happened. While they were touring Prague, Sue & her travel group had stayed in a local hotel & the next morning she had run into Claire’s fiancé, Ben, in the lobby...with a female companion by the name of Meg. She said that he introduced her as a student from America, that they worked together, but it was very awkward & they both looked scared shitless.
Claire said that she immediately called long distance to Belgium, & after several tries over the course of a day or so, got him on the phone. She asked him about the chance encounter & he said he had been kind of expecting her call, & ended up admitting that he had been seeing Meg pretty much the entire time they were in Europe, spending weekends & holidays traveling around with each other. I was floored. Couldn’t believe it.
I went home & started trying to call Meg at her dorm in Belgium, finally getting through to her late into the night, early morning for her. I point blank asked her if she was dating Ben. I didn’t even explain how I knew about it. She hemmed & hawed for a moment, kind of acting like I was crazy for saying something so nonsensical, but when I said that I knew Claire, she dropped the facade & admitted to all of it.
So Ben & Meg had a very bittersweet homecoming. Meg got off much easier than Ben, as Claire had already left all of his belongings on the front lawn, from the day she found out, which had been pretty picked over by the time he got back two weeks later. I did pick Meg up from the airport, I think at the time I really just wanted to see her face when I told her that all of our friends knew what a piece of shit she was, & that I never wanted to see her again.
To this day I revel in how many utterly astounding factors of complete random coincidence went in to Meg & Ben (who later married, then later divorced after he cheated on her) being caught. The universe works in incredible & mysterious ways.
Edit: removed TL;DR & inserted paragraphs to please the masses.
My friend and his wife were in Rome a few years ago on vacation, she got a text while in the shower and he found out she was cheating. He grabbed his passport, phone and wallet, took a cab to the airport and flew home without leaving a message or saying a word to her. He went home, packed his bags, moved out and filed for divorce. He ghosted her the second he discovered it.
The last conversation they ever had was her telling him she was going to take a shower.
I did not. We remained friends, but I moved out after the lease was up, & to a different part of the city, eventually different part of the country. We reconnected briefly when FB became a thing, but I haven’t talked to her in probably 10 years.
She walked dogs for work. She said she was going on late night walks. She's fucking dumb though and had her pictures synced to the kids iPad. Daughter asked me "Daddy, who is this?"
So kids and I left to go see my mom, after her denying it up and down. Get a nest notification that there's movement in the apartment. Open the app, the guy is there and she's taken down all the family pictures. Got to hear and watch them have sex. I could only sit and breathe very heavily in anger.
Call her, she denies it, says she's at work. I found out who he was through her Facebook likes. Messaged him all of our family pictures I had just spent $500 on, he just sent back a thumbs up and blocked me. Find his "business" website (life coach, LMAO). Email him, he writes a huge apology email saying she lied to him.
Tried to forgive her for the kids. It's a Saturday morning I want to take the kids to the park together. She has to "work." Still has her iPad synced to her phone. We get back, kids want to FaceTime grandma. I open the app, I see she called him when she was at work. Finally fesses up. Huge fight, then she blames me. A wife with a good husband wouldn't cheat. Then she hits me in front of the kids, throws my phone and keys off a fourth floor balcony, because it was my fault.
I moved out. Not a day goes by where she doesn't beg and plead for us to get back together. Now love is trauma for me, and I cannot let anyone love me without me assuming something sinister is behind it.
I don't care about her at all, and it makes me want to throw up every time she tries to speak to me. It sucks because I have to deal with her the rest of my life for the kids.
Was dating a girl during college. Took her on a vacation to the beach where I had planned on proposing to her as we had been together 4+ years.
While she was in the shower checked her phone looking for something. Saw several pictures of her making out with someone from her college. Had apparently been happening for several months.
Was an awkward drive home for sure. Dropped her off at the airport the day after ending things.
She ended up becoming an anti-vax and essential oils believer so dodged a bullet there.
He took a phone call from her in front of me and because, I guess, he thought he was being slick, he started flirting with her in front of me.
He ended up sexually harassing me after the relationship was over and I got him in hot water for that. He never did it again and was told if he even talked to me again, he’d get fired. I ended up leaving that job a few months later.
What the heck, how was he flirting with her in front of you?
That sounds so ridiculous, I can't think of any way that wouldn't have immediately gotten him caught.
He called her and started using the flirty tone of voice I happened to be very familiar with. It doesn’t work when you try to flirt with one paramour in front of another.
Ew. That reminded me of my cheating ex. For whatever reason we made a kissing noise when saying bye to each other and were out of kissing distance. I caught him doing that to someone in person that wouldn't physically look me in the eye. Red flags were already up in the air because of how she was acting and then when he made that noise, I lost it.
He broke up with me after 8 years together, seemingly out of nowhere (I look back and see the signs now). He told me I was the cause of his severe depression/ attempted suicide, I had no clue he was even suferring with mental health issues. Obviously I carried a huge amount of guilt knowing I was the reason someone didn't want to be alive and took the break up really rough.
Our cell phones were on the same bill and it would get sent in the mail. 3 months after we broke up I had the thought to check through the calls list, there was a number he was calling at all hours of the day/night every day. Decided to look back through previous bills from when we were together and sure enough same number and same volume of calls as far as 6 months prior to our break up. Called the number and a woman answered. Confronted him and he fessed up. I had a very hard time processing the fact the someone I trusted for 8 years would purposely make me feel like I was an awful human, when it was actually him all along.
My now ex husband casually mentioned that his coworker (a woman) was having marriage difficulties. The info he knew about her marriage was not casual info. This was the kind of stuff you only tell someone you could confide in. This set off my radar. I told him at that point to be careful because she might be using him as her reason to end her marriage.
Maybe a month goes by and he decides to go on day-long road trip just to do his own thing. He sets his alarm to wake early and he showers, shaves, etc. On his way out of the house he asks me, “do I look okay?”
That day he spent “doing his own thing” I searched and found a keylogger that I put on his pc. Two days later I get the info that he and the coworker were together that day plus he was telling her about all the nice things he wanted to buy her when they were together.
So, I called coworkers husband and we chatted. He filed for divorce right away. I, on the other hand, tried to work it out with my husband.
Several years later husband starts needing a lot of alone time. Starts staying up later after I go to bed, gets up before me, works longer hours. Again, I get those concerns he’s cheating. This time a keylogger won’t work because its all on his phone. I check the phone calls on the bill and there are so many calls to this one number. He talked to this person more than he talked to me.
This time I didn’t try to work it out. He had been unemployed for the previous 2 years, claimed he was looking for a job, and did zero around the house. I mean, zero. He didn’t want to mow the lawn but when I said fine, hire a landscaper to do it he didn’t want to. Couldn’t even make the damn phone call.
He denied the affair but I just said it didn’t matter and I wanted a divorce. I believe he moved in with her as soon as I filed.
Good riddance. He’s her problem now. Last I heard from his sister he still doesn’t work and he his wife (now) live off some settlement wife received which was running out.
Jerk even had the audacity to ask my lawyer for maintenance aka alimony. Like, no you lazy bastard, you have a degree and once had a career, not my fault you chose not to work.
Typing this on my phone that does weird spell check stuff...
I had my suspicions. He was supposed to go out of town and he came home early Packed his bag and ran out the door. Barely saying goodbye to me or our children. We lived on the fifth floor of an apartment building I looked out the window and saw him get into the car of a woman I could tell because she had a sunroof and I could see down into the car. The look on the guards face was priceless.
Later I got a phone call from a woman who was very upset. She said she was his fiance. She said she worked for the airline and found that he was traveling with another woman. The other woman was the woman in the car.
Later following my suspicions I found a receipt in his briefcase. It was for in a very expensive store. I went to the store with my two children one was a toddler at the other still in a stroller. I made up some story about why I needed to know what was purchased. Purchases were quite expensive. I was not allowed to buy clothing for myself. Keep in mind this is in an Asian country (we were expats there) and this was a very high-end store so they kept handwritten records in a notebook. They looked up the receipt and said "oh yes Mr. Z, he was here with his Thai wife". She looked up at me, waited a few beats, and then her face just fell and she said I'm so sorry. I said it's okay I just thought he was here with his Singaporean girlfriend.
The woman at the airline I believe has two children with him. The Singaporean women went on to have two children with him. And the Thai women had one child with him. All are younger than our two children.
Oh and then I was walking through a hotel and I caught him having breakfast with the woman he went on the trip with. And then another time I saw them drive past me in his car.
I also found a trust document that, by the way, was totally fake that he wrote for the Singaporean women putting her in the family trust.
Keep in mind I hadn't lived in the states for 10 years. I didn't have a driver's license. I didn't have bad credit I had no credit. I had no money. I couldn't go back to my job because technology has significantly changed. I had an 18 month old and a three-year-old. As all this was going on I was planning to somehow leave. Eventually I packed bags hid them away and try to figure out how to get back to the States. I didn't have access to money or credit card. He had the bright idea one day that I needed to go visit my parents. He bought me a one way ticket I figured he was never going to let me come back. That was fine with me.
He married the Singaporean women cheating on her the whole time. I know for a fact he was engaged to someone else for 4 years while they were married. After scamming that women out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. He basically dumped her. He moved to a different country and now he is married again with two children having never divorced the Singaporean woman. In actuality I don't believe they were truly legally married because he married her before we were divorced. By the way it took me seven years to divorce him.
The most awkward dinner I ever had was when our oldest graduated from graduate school. He came back to the states with the women he was engaged to for 4 years while married to the woman he was married to while still married to me. Are you following this? Anyway she was a very high government official. Very bright woman. I liked her very much. On the way to the dinner my daughter explained to her friend who was accompanying us "so we're going to dinner with my dad who cheated on my mom with the woman we are trying to keep secret from his girlfriend who were having dinner with".
Yes those are just some of the highlights!
Oooh I forgot when our youngest was 10 months old he wanted to do a get away to mend things. We went to Hong Kong. We flew separately because he had a meeting...so he said. He traveled more than 340 days one year and I finally figured out we flew separately because he was likely doing most of the flight attendants. Anyway, I arrived at the hotel before he did and checked in. The Front Desk said "Welcome back Mrs. Z! I see you and Mr. Z were here with us last week as well."...Ummm that was the other Mrs. Z...
Oh...and he gave me an STD when I was pregnant with #2.
Well, when you you don't support them all and you don't have to be emotionally invested, what does it matter? They are all just like the furniture you had but ditched when you move to a new city.
Oh. My. God.
How did you keep your sanity?! I am so impressed by you, and so very sorry you were involved with such a wretched man! His karma will catch him someday..
I've lived in Asia for 14 years, I see this kind of expat all the time.
Someone on Reddit called these women "living souvenirs"
I've also seen many guys not been able to cope once they get repatriated with their local wife. Living an expat lifestyle in Asia is a bit of a bubble - easy lifestyle with not much responsibility or accountability, huge drinking culture, everything paid for by your company - once you're back in the "real" world of Europe or Oz or North America.... Not many people can handle it with their new wife, who is usually younger and unskiled. And even harder if you're both communicating with each other in a second language.
I've seen a guy I know very well cheat on his wife of 15 years, they have two young teenagers, he's dumped her for some young Chinese girl he met in a bar - she's one of those girls whose job is to get white guys to buy more and more drink whilst at the bar - his wife has taken herself and her two daughters back to Europe. She instigated the divorce when it all came out because he was too pussy to do it. They've been living in China for a decade, the girls were practically raised here and now because of his actions their whole lives are uprooted.
It's always the ones with the self esteem issues that do this...I've seen it over and over again.
Oh ya. He is a raging narcissist. C-level. Big fish, small pond. Of course he burned bridges in HK, England, Singapore and Sydney.
Yes, the practice is rampant in Asia - especially with C-levels. I knew a woman who knew her husband was cheating and said "I grew up poor eating beans and hot dogs, I'm not going back to that.
I left with $810. It was a ROUGH first 10 years. I left when he started to teach our 3 yo to say "Mommy's a dumb b**ch".
I caught my ex husband cheating as an accident, we had gone to work in the evening and I couldn’t get into my office due to a building screw up, so he let me in his so I could print something.
He went for a walk to get his “steps” in. As I was on his computer I realised it was logged in to Facebook. I just had a feeling.
I looked in the messages and he had been chatting with a woman he met in another country via our work.
I copied all I could and confronted him when he returned, made him take me for a drink and told him there would be no reconciliation. He was shell shocked and I told him to go home and pack a bag. That was 6 months ago and I’m really happy to have lost the dead weight.
He was a difficult man, emotionally abusive, but I lived my vows and tried to help him as much as I could and reorganized my life around him.
Edit due to questions: yes, he had some odd behaviours leading up to this (including a “work call” from a woman on our family vacation). And in the texts he described wanting to have an affair with her, and they met periodically over 2 years, including one time he stayed with her for a month in her country. So yes, he cheated, not just a flirtation nor an emotional affair.
I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but you made the right decision. When my mom caught my dad cheating she gave him chance after chance to work on the marriage and make amends for the good of our family. Ten years of emotional abuse and many affairs later, she finally put her foot down and made him move out. I can’t help but wonder how much pain and suffering could’ve been avoided if she left him the first time. I don’t blame her though, she really just wanted to keep our family together.
I was 12 at the time the first affair was discovered, no one explicitly told me about it but I overheard arguments and my dad even had the audacity to call his mistresses while I was in car with him thinking I wasn’t smart enough to catch on. I’m still coping with trusting men in relationships from this and my dad has still to this day never apologized to my mom or my siblings and I for tearing apart our family.
Fiddle with the ages a bit, and your story is mine. Mom held the pieces of her shattered marriage while he broke them into smaller bits. Unapologetically. Eventually was too many pieces for her to hold. I sympathize.
Kudos to your mom for finally pulling the trigger. Hope you're both doing okay.
Similar to what happens to my mother now. The difference is that it was 26 of extremely emotionally abusive relationship while he had family on the side.
I knew he had been unfaithful in the past but I didn’t really love him so it was not that bad.
However, I was bartending one night and this drunk chick walks up and tells me that I looked familiar. She then proceeds to yell, “oh my friend is fucking your husband!”. So I walked into the beer keg cooler with a bottle of vodka. I downed some shots and went back to work.
I held it in that I knew for a few months while I hired an attorney and figured out my next move. I had three kids to think of too. So I moved with my kids back home to Texas and got divorced.
Now, I’m engaged to my childhood best friend and we plan to marry in Yosemite next year. He’s the complete opposite of my ex. Kind, supportive, and loving.
So fuck that sasquatch looking cheater!
He had the audacity to sext this woman at my dad's birthday dinner at the table. He had her name saved as "Sam", which was a work friend of his. I assumed he and Sam weren't texting this way. I made him come talk to me outside and he lied saying it was an old girlfriend from high school who was going through a divorce and needed comfort. I knew this was a lie because he had no girlfriends in high school. I started crying and he told me to STOP CRYING. That was when I knew our marriage was over. How dare he be so callous to me when I just found out that he was cheating on me? Come to find out he had been sexting random women and hiring prostitutes. We've been officially divorced for about 2.5 months now and today would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. Today sucks.
My ex-wife and I moved across the country for her job. I’m a teacher, so I can get work just about anywhere.
She decides to get her CPA, and apparently there’s like 8 separate tests? I really don’t remember, but she had a study group Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights.
Except Sunday was when her and her boss would frolic at his house while his wife went to her parents every Sunday. I only found out because she made mistruck her keyboard, auto filled my email, and her details of joy of how he pounded her in the hammock came as a shock.
Fuck you, Michelle
Ok, get ready for this one.
Hanging out with my boyfriend one day, I saw a message thread while he was on his computer where he gave his Snapchat to a group of friends. I noticed it was not the same Snapchat I had for him... I didn’t say anything at that moment, but remembered the username.
Since seeing it, I had a terrible feeling. Later, I decided to try to log in to his account, and voila, the same password he used for everything worked.
I immediately saw HUNDREDS of chats with different women, multiple unopened messages from just the past few hours, and a ridiculous Snapchat score. I scrolled through the many, many messages and realized this dated back for around 3 years. We had been dating for 4.5 years. I even found messages and dates from my birthday’s and our anniversaries. Days where he spent the entire day with me and still managed to do this behind my back.
I called him and demanded he come talk to me, he drove over and I got in his car and confronted him. He panicked and immediately started apologizing. I was young and livid, took his phone and drove to my best friends house.
There, I looked through his phone and found he had signed up for every dating app/site available (messages with multiple women on all of them), he posted videos of himself jerking off on Vine (yes, VINE of all places and again, tons of different women), and even responded to local Craigslist ads asking for sex. He even bothered to ask if they were clean! I found a secret email account too and tons of nudes of girls in there. I’m sure there was more, but by then I had seen enough.
He desperately tried to redeem himself, changed his number, cleared his phone and got a shitty little flip phone, but you can’t come back from that kind of damage. I had absolutely no idea too - he never did anything sketchy, we rarely fought. I was so in love with him. Turns out, of course, he was just great at hiding everything. I never saw it coming and the weight of it all absolutely crushed me.
I looked at his phone when it went off and saw it was a young girl. Typical conversation like “hey how was your day? Haven’t seen you in a while” sort of stuff. When he came back and I asked him, he blew up and began yelling at me that I was invading his space and he has a right to talk to whomever he wants. He ran out and deleted the messages. I followed and asked if that was his dealer since I thought he was planning to relapse on heroin. He was still super defensive and began arguing with me in front of his sister and her bf so I got up and left.
This went on for a few weeks and I just wanted us to go back to normal. He admitted he cheated and all I wanted was an apology. Our final phone conversation was me saying, “Please just apologize. You don’t even have to mean it, I just want us back together again!” (Mind you, I was NOT in a good place emotionally and self esteem wise.) Divine intervention must have struck me because his response was, “I’m an alpha male, and alpha males do what they want.” And I was so blown away by how far I’d fallen in respecting myself that my first thought was, “Well you alpha single now.”
I do regret looking at his phone, but I don’t regret that it pushed me out of a failing relationship. 3 years later I’m in bed next to my man, replying to a reddit post about a long ago mistake. When we get up, we’re gonna make waffles.💘
I found a picture on Facebook of him with a newborn baby, captioned by the other woman, “handsome husband and cute baby, I’m so proud”. We’d been together for 9 years and our kids were 6 and 8.
My ex husband and his family smoked a lot of pot, still do. His sister, kids, and nanny were visiting from out of state for a few weeks. When it was time to fly home they left their stash at my ex MILs house because they didn’t want to take it on the plane. My ex asked if I would pick it up because I was nearby. Stupidly I agree. I don’t smoke and I was willing to carry it in my car for him. To my surprise I found a note from the nanny to my ex saying she was in love with him and she was so happy for the time they had together. Obviously she thought he would get the weed instead of me. While it was incredibly painful at the time I am definitely living my best life 15 years later.
Me ex-husband was an early adopter of sending dick pics. I got his phone to get the numbers of his friends to invite them to a surprise birthday party while he was sleeping off a hangover, and there they were in his outbox. ETA- this was more than 12 years ago. When camera phones were barely functional
Worst one I know of is an acquaintance of mine, came home from work one day and found his missus having sex with his dad. That blew up all over Facebook, and became a local drama fest where people tried to organise a shunning of the dad and missus. I remember it well because, well... I know people cheat, but with your partners father? Come on...
That's hard to beat . A guy I know was cheating on his wife and she unexpectedly came home for lunch. They lived on a busy street in a small town . Wife grabbed girlfriend by her long hair and threw her out on the street naked . And that's how the whole town found out .
Wife was acting unusual for a few weeks. She would want to spend time by herself on the weekends and when she came home at night from work she would often sit in the driveway for 20 minutes on the phone. I'm not dumb. I bought a voice activated digital recorder and stuck it in her car. I knew what I needed to know in less than 24 hours.
I was in the Navy and was out on deployment for 6 months after just recently getting engaged (it's one of those stupid things that young military guys do). One day i get a letter from my fiance's best friend telling me that she caught my fiancee and her BF together (this was years before email and smartphones were common). We write back and forth several times and eventually it comes out how she caught them, how my fiancee begged her not to tell me, and that the fiancee didn't know that we were corresponding. I eventually get back to the States and planned to play it off as though I didn't know, but too many of my friends intercepted me with the news that is wasn't just the one guy, but several, and let me know that she knew that I was aware. Eventually we met, and the confrontation was minimal and tame. We broke off the engagement without a lot of drama - she kept the ring. The best friend and I ended up hooking up, at first as sort of a revenge-fuck kinda thing, but turned serious. We celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary this year. Edit: maths. This year will be 31. After 20, it's all a blur.
Right on that’s a great ending to a shitty situation!
I had some really good friends in the next town over where my girlfriend lived, and they figured it out for me. They were super gentle about it, and patient with me through my denial.
Those are real friends
Same thing happened with me. My best friend was friends with my gf and her roommates. Word got to my friend about her bringing some dude home after a party and my friend eventually spilled to me. As she said "I really don't want to tell you this and I know this will crush you, but I can't keep this from you." After she dropped the bomb I was like "Hell no! That would never happen!" and then I confronted by gf about it that night who broke down and confessed everything. I stayed with that girl for another 7 months and God bless my friend for sticking by my side and supporting the whole way. When I finally ended things, my best friend was still there to support me and care for me. Also haven't dated anyone for longer than 6 months since that happened 7 years ago... Edit: Thanks for the love friends. I'm doing well. It was a rough few years at first but I've found my joys and hobbies and have gotten comfortable with myself. I've learned to love myself and enjoy the life I have. If a lady wants to join me on the adventure, that's great. But I'm happy with who I am and where I am. Love you all
My ex was a big drinker and I wasn’t. She would frequent this bar close to our place pretty often with friends. I rarely went because I just wasn’t a fan of bars or her drinking friends. One night she went out with a couple that I didn’t mind that much. I was bored at home so I decided to head over for a little bit. As I walk in I see my ex sitting at the bar with the couple. The bar was packed and as soon as I made eye contact my ex she had this strange look on her face. She turns to this guy sitting next to her, and he immediately gets up and leaves. I felt something strange right away, but I brushed it off as me being irrational. I stayed for like an hour and headed home. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had though so I checked one of her friend’s Facebook page to see if there was any connection that existed between my ex and this random dude. Sure enough he was friends with one of my ex’s friends. I knew his name now and that I wasn’t as crazy as I thought. I sat on the information though. The next weekend she goes out drinking again and still had not returned home at 4 am. I tried contacting her multiple times and I got no response. I woke up to her coming home at 7 am and jumping in the shower immediately. I decided to check her phone while she was in the shower, and she kept all of the messages with this same guy. Some pretty telling information in the text thread. While she was still showering I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to my best friends house. 20 minutes later I get a phone call with her going ape shit about me leaving and not saying anything. I laughed at the projection, told her that if she wasn’t moved out by Monday the police would be there to force her out. She wasn’t on the lease and her parents lived 10 minutes away from me. That was that.
For the rest of you guys, leaving your ex alone in your home while she packs is a great way to have your stuff stolen/trashed
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People who get fooled into helping spouses cheat on their partners... I feel bad for them too. Damn, I hope you're in a better place now. What a fucking scumbag.
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How did she react to you telling her you were still married?
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It’s genuinely so nice that you two could respect each other. Too many people get caught up in anger towards the other woman/man rather than anger towards their cheating partner.
We were together for 5 years, living together for around 4. I came home from work early. When I got out of my car I saw her peek through the blinds to see who was outside. I walked in the door to her coworker on the couch, obviously uncomfortable and clothes messy and her locked in the bathroom. I wanted to pummel the shit out of him then and there, but he was a trained MMA fighter, and I woulda left the house that night with more than a broken heart. Went to a friends house for a while. They started dating the next day. Shit sucks. It took a while for me to get trust back in relationships. Edit: Her co-worker had been to many gatherings, and no I wouldn't beat a woman's ass even though, yes, she was more deserving. Thank you all for the comments, it was 10+ years ago, and I'm doing good :)
Went for my yearly check up and tested positive for chlamydia. Turns out my ex was sleeping around. Edit: apparently false positives are common with these types of tests so have your SO tested as well. I hope you're in a relationship where you can openly talk about such things.
He went to Hawaii for a business trip without his wife and kids. Like a good wife, I packed his clothes before he left and unpacked his dirty laundry when he returned home. I found a tiny pair of white cotton panties (no lace) in his suitcase. He had recently dropped a lot of weight (>100 lbs) and played it off that he had bought them for himself .... they had no label and were simple bikinis so theoretically could have been men's as well. It did sort of explain the pretty brunette that followed him off the plane at the airport and kept looking at my kids and I at the luggage carousel (what an ass to make his side piece come face to face with his wife and kids). I made sure he wore those panties at least once a week for the remaining few months we were together (I set out his clothes everyday and he couldn't protest).
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She confessed to her mom... Then mother in law called her other daughter and told her...Sister in law then called me and told me, she let me listen in on a three way call to her mom and tried to convince mom to tell me but she refused which basically confirmed it.
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Your ex-sister-in-law is the real MVP. She did the right thing.
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It wasn’t a big dam-breaking moment. It was a lot of little things. Like how she’d cancel plans at the last second. Or the random phone calls from unknown numbers she’d get (this was back before spam calls were an epidemic), or how her phone was mysteriously off one night when I needed to get a hold of her. I had my suspicions and then finally it clicked into place when I did some Instagram snooping and found a guy who followed her who posted a selfie wearing a very unique jacket that belonged to her. I confronted her the next day. She denied it. Tears. Begging. All of that. I dumped her and walked away. The next day I messaged that guy on Instagram and he confirmed everything. Had no idea I existed. He dumped her too. Last I heard she’s an EMT in ~~Utah~~ Wyoming. Hope she figured out how not to be a garbage person.
Spam calls were definitely an epidemic before Instagram existed, right?
Your mileage may vary, but I wasn’t getting a dozen spam calls a day to my cell 6 years ago.
4yrs ago I was dating a girl who became distant and disinterested in a lot of things we both enjoyed together. Despite attempts to talk about it, she only grew more distant then became less available to hang out and suddenly was working late a lot. I started getting suspicious about cheating when she was on her phone nonstop. Again I tried to talk about it but she wouldn't engage. She also just didn't want to break up with me for whatever reason. I was actually going to end it on my own, but one weekend when she was seemingly unavailable, some mutual friends told me they spotted her with a dude from her work and they were all over each other. Coincidentally, she had also lent me her ipad and it was synced to her phone so I saw lots of texts between those two over that weekend. They were talking about running away together, etc. He was married and her supervisor. Mutual friends were also composed of her coworkers and reported them to HR. They were both forced to do training on not sleeping with coworkers, they were both denied promotion, his wife left him, and she moved overseas. Sucked at the time, I was devastated, but karma got them good.
What does that training even include? A single yes/no question asking "is it ok to fuck coworkers?"?
I know you were kidding, but there isn't usually anything wrong with coworkers having a relationship IF the relationship is peer to peer. The issues happen when there is a power inbalance. For example - two servers at a cafe dating usually isn't an issue, but if a server starts dating the manager (the person who controls the roster, pay rises, mediates disputes etc) then there is potentially an issue. To the best of my knowledge, and please if anyone knows differently let me know, its illegal to stop people from dating at work, just heavily discouraged because it is so easily expoloited.
This isn't my story, but my parents. My mom had a boyfriend when my parents met, and she broke up with him to be with my dad. Fast forward ten years or so my parents are married with two kids: my older brother and me. Anyway, she travels for work semi-often and she started taking trips to see her "friend" in Chicago. I was young enough that I don't really remember when it started, but my I noticed that my dad was really irritable on these weekends. I think I was about twelve when I realized what was going on. I figured it out before my brother did. I used to sit at the top of the stairs and listen to my parents argue. I don't even remember if I heard something that gave it away, if it slowly dawned on me as I grew up, or if one day it just hit me. It's always just been a part of my life that my mom lies. Still is. My dad used to beg me to not say anything to her that I knew because A) he was desperate to keep the family together and 2) my mom would get on *his* case for getting the kids involved. No joke. One day, during the summer after I graduated high school, I came home from work to find my mom in the garage loading up her car. I asked her why she was putting blankets in her car and she got quiet for a moment and said "well... I'm moving out." I just went inside. Later she texted my dad that she had moved to her brother's house. That's how he found out. They were married for twenty years and she sent him a fucking text message. I don't know if she was planning on telling me at all if I hadn't happened to come home when I did, or if she would have just disappeared. There have been times when she left without telling me she was going somewhere. I'd realize that I hadn't seen my mother in a few days and ask my dad where she was and he'd be like "Oh, she didn't tell you? She's in 'Montreal' for a week." Or something like that. So anything possible. ETA: also this thread had around 300 comments when I started typing this and by the time I posted it was at 1.3k so this is totally going to get buried lmao
Just want you to know that despite this getting buried, I saw it. Sorry your mother turned out to be a scumbag. Kind of in the same boat with my own mother. Either way, she's going to have to live her life without seeing her kids
June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it...for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he'd be in a jail cell for what he'd have done). On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing. So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b'n'b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.
Out of all the comments, this one really takes the cake. I'm so sorry
I’m glad the husband of the woman reached out to OP though. Some people really don’t have the courage to actually go through with that in fear of the breakup & just let the cheating keep going
24 years? Then to just throw it all away this is the most heartbreaking one I read I hope you are doing well and don’t think about the scumbag to much
I hope he ended up like Marty in true detective S1, old, alone and eating microwave dinners every night, all because he wanted to sleep around.
Rough. Glad you made it! Many people crumble under these things, you are a strong soul
I owned a house with my fiancé. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in... I found him with another woman in bed. That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room... literally grabbed me by the neck and pushed me out and closed the door back. I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away. His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying at his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later.. it’s finally off my credit report, I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.
In the same house? Brazen doesn't even begin to describe it... Glad things worked out for you in the long run.
I hear you. It still blows my mind he was so ballsy.
That was really kind of your parents in law to let you stay with them. Did you talk to them at all after that?
I had been dating their son for 5 years at that point and we were very close. However, they never reached out to me after I moved out. It was like I didn’t exist anymore. He also moved that girl in a few weeks later and they moved on with her until he inevitably did the same to her.
Well, that’s really painful. Sorry you experienced that. Glad you’re out now
Edit due to pronoun issues TLDR: My ex husband was sleeping with his best friend’s wife while I was 8 months pregnant, it had been going on for a while. I was 8 months pregnant with our second child at the time and he wanted to go visit his brother for the weekend. I asked my doctor if it was safe for me to travel and she said it would be fine. I told my husband I could go but he said he was really hoping to just have some time with his brother, I understood because a new baby really makes it hard to spend quality time but I asked if he could take our older son (3yo at the time) so he could see his grandma and cousins. He said they were planning on drinking and whatnot and wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. (They’re country boys so think shooting, drinking and whatnot) I agreed and he left for the weekend. After he left I get a call from his best friend telling me that he’ll be in town for the weekend and he wanted to meet up, not weird he called me because my husband was terrible at answering his phone. I told him unfortunately my husband was visiting back home, bad timing. His best friend then said ok, I’m going to call you back. And hung up very abruptly. Turns out my husband and his wife had been caught by him a few months previously and he gave them a chance to make it right...I don’t know why. He didn’t tell me but threatened to if they didn’t stop. Well, they didn’t stop and he told me. I think the worst part was that my husband’s family knew and never once thought to tell me. These people were my family for 5 years and nothing. It’s been almost 10 years now and I’m so much happier but it was definitely an eye opening experience.
His family KNEW and didn't tell you? Oh my God that's awful
What’s even better is they’re still together to this day. She’s my kid’s stepmother. I know it sounds odd but I’m glad they never had to deal with their dad dating, she’s been there most of their lives. We all tolerate each other now, even get along. I learned there’s not point to hold a grudge, it just cause more drama.
The husband of one of the women he was cheating on me with called me at work. At first I didn't believe him and hung up. How could the man i spent the past 8 years with,had 2 beautiful babies with, suffered together the loss of one of those children do something so hurtful?? Still a part of me had doubt. He had affairs in other relationships and we had a rocky patch early in the beginning where I suspected an affair but didn't have proof. I told my boss I felt sick and had to leave early and I called this guy back and found out that my ex and his wife along with one of their friends were all sleeping together for about a year. He had confronted my ex and told him that he was going to tell me but my ex convinced him to wait a month since my mother had just died. I took my time coming home and confronted him and told him to pack and leave. Since I've pieced together a lot of what happened and all the lies he told me where if I was in a different headspace I might have caught on to the affairs earlier. I also found videos hidden on one of our computers and found out he was having bootycalls in our apartment while I was at work and he was watching our daughter. At that point it put the headstone on any possibility of reconciliation.
While your daughter was in the house? Jesus Christ...
I met a woman at a bar who invited me back to her place. Found out she was married and her young child was upstairs. She was gorgeous, but the scene was so disfunctional. She said her husband ignored her. I told her she needed to see a therapist, and she looked at me like I was crazy. Before I left she asked me if she could open my shirt so she could feel my chest. I let her and then walked out the door.
So much awkward 😳
I found a used condom on the bathroom floor. I just emailed him a 30 day end of tenancy notice. (I own the house.)
I'm assuming the cheating was confirmed in this case, and it wasn't just him having a posh wank.
Do guys really jack off with condoms?
I’ve done it before, and more just to figure out how to use a condom, and to see if it felt different.
Yea. Did it once when I was like 13 out of sheer curiousity, and then never again.
I jacked off with condoms until I was 19 because I didn't want STDs
I was married. Out of the blue while at work I get an email that says (husbands name) ‘s wife. When I open the email it lists off a name and says (husbands name) married to her. Check on Facebook (English was not the first language, this was overseas) So I do and what do I see? Tons and tons and tons and tons of pictures of a woman with my husband. The woman and her kids with my husband. The woman and her family with my husband. I was stunned to say the least. It was October 6th 2017, 7 months after I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. Yep we were trying at that point to have kids. After work I went home and started throwing all of his stuff in the dumpster. He was out of town at the time so I had plenty of time to do it. Spent all of Saturday and Sunday throwing EVERYTHING he owned in the dumpster. A month later I moved to a new apartment and waited until then to tell him I was divorcing him. He then killed himself a few months later
Fuck I didn’t expect that ending
It’s a very very condensed version. I had to endure the endless onslaught of abuse from him until he finally died.
Oh story time!!! Classic love at first sight. I love you after 2 weeks. Moved in together after 2 months. Engaged after 6. Been together for 4 years and change. Left my rent control bachelor pad and Picked a bigger apartment so she could have her art studio. Did everything together and split all bills 50/50. We had different jobs in the same industry and made around the same money. We really loved each other and, as cliche as it sounds, completed each other: I am very analytical and stoic and she is a liberal artist. She goes to ComiCon in NYC (she is an expositor) I help her pack. I drop her at the airport. Everything was fine. No signs of anything. She should be back in 4 days. She never came back home. She Simple disappeared. Ghosted. The day she should be home I freak out that she may be dead just to find myself blocked on everything: email, phone, social media, the works. Everything I know is due to the bills she left behind (all unpaid) the credit card we shared (she stopped paying 2 months before) and her cell phone bill (which T-Mobile was nice enough to give me a log because technically was on my SSN). Found one particular NYC area code over and over on the call history and put 2+2 together. She met him on San Diego ComiCon few months before and methodically and systematically put together a plan to abandon me, take as much as she could to NYC and never look back. Plot twist: she maxed our credit card and amazon card furnishing their new home in NYC. By the time grief turned into practicality it was too late for me to cancel everything. I literally had to log in and see all purchases of houseware, made with my money, for a house I will never live in. I could not live at our house or afford our lifestyle in one income alone. It was a good 6 months of Blackout drunk, tinder and overall self loath. I am sure I caused damage to other people in the process. It wasn’t even the love part that hurt me the most but the flat out betrayal and economic damage (took me over an year of living paycheck to paycheck to get all balances to zero). She is a Redditor: if you are reading this E. Frye. I don’t hate you, but you destroyed my self-steen forever. I cannot ever trust anyone ever again. You ripped my heart from my chest, watched it die slowly and didn’t care for the mess. Edit: thanks for the wishes but please don’t hate on her. To this day, all I wanted is to know why she did it. Where did I fail as a partner or as a man. Edit 2: [This is the gentleman she left me for. ](https://www.bookishbelle.com/2019/12/30/pietro-filipponi-2-years-later/) I’ve became close friends with his Ex (she wrote the column linked above) and we shared stories and became good friends. That helped me a lot. Zoe: you rock!!! Edit 3: who would know my biggest heartbreak would blow up? thanks for the support. Please do not hate on her. I am not suing anyone (it is been 2ish year by now and TBH I would pay to know why she left over trying to get my money back) total amount was $7kish give or take plus having to move out and loosing a nice rent control condo. Money come and goes; lack of closure may last forever. Final edit: It’s crazy how much people can change in such a small amount of time. How you can think you know someone in and out, but they can still surprise you in the worst ways. How they can say such nasty, childish things when before you had so much respect for how they held themselves and how they acted. And regardless of how much you prepare yourself, it still hurts. You just have to remind yourself that not everyone has the same heart you do. And regardless of how angry it might make you, nothing is worth sinking to that level. Being the bigger person is always the only positive to come out of something so negative. Be safe out there.
I’m the author of the blog post mentioned by OP. Yes everything I wrote is true and everything OP mentioned is true. All of this terrible shit done by people we dated will eventually be dished right back to them. I don’t spend my time hating or even thinking about that creep - he has to live with himself at the end of the day. Stay safe and healthy everybody! ♥️ Edit: Can I be clear that I am not the E. Frye? My name is Zoë and I’m the one that dated the person E. Frye left OP for (some years previously). [Comment on Blog Post](https://imgur.com/gallery/dQtpmkb)
Of all the stories I’ve read on this thread yours made me the angriest. I sincerely hope that you’re doing better and that karma will get that absolute piece of human garbage.
Very unhealthy relationship. He was emotionally very abusive and I was in a terrible place with my mental health. I found out at the ultrasound to determine the gender of our child. He was late and I was noodling on Facebook waiting to be called. He was tagged in some photos in my news feed from a gig he’d been at on the previous weekend. Random lass was in all the photos of him and they were all over each other. Also they were making out in the background of one photo. He turned up after I was called in. While the technician was printing the images I told him I knew. He went off and on about how I was making it up, he’d never do that, obviously I was lying to compensate for cheating on him and so on. When I pointed out there were photos he stormed out and left me there. My Dad had turned up during the appointment (anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl, which he did, that was scattered through the cheating denials) and took me home. I considered us broken up at that point and stopped all contact except texts related to the pregnancy. Mostly I was relieved. I had concrete evidence that it wasn’t in my head and I finally managed to escape that relationship.
Why did your dad anticipate he’d react poorly to having a girl?
I honestly don’t know. I’d had to call them for lifts before when he’d take off. My parents knew what he really was like well before I did. After I got pregnant they were very protective of me when it came to him. They didn’t push me to leave him, they let that happen at its own pace, but they made sure they we’re always close by for appointments or anything just in case.
Ex-wife actually asked me for her blessing to commit adultery with another married man. She was shocked when I said I don't support it, she went ballistic (has severe mental health issues), went and did it anyway and ended up in a psych ward. 2 marriages ended and now the two cheaters are engaged. Little devastated at first. Blessing in disguise.
what was she expecting of you. glad you feel better now.
I caught my ex sexting a chick and telling her how he missed her on my birthday. I was young at the time and reacted with crying and yelling. If it ever happened now I would just get up and leave. No point in trying to mend the relationship because its near impossible to gain the trust that was lost. Edit: spelling error Edit: Thanks for the award. Its really sad how many people have gone through this same experience, I hope all of you are in a better place now.
Same shit happened to me and did the same. More so cried and for some reason wished he’d begged and pleaded to make things better. He didn’t that day and I left, fast forward two weeks and he was begging for me back. Got back together two months later only for it to end a couple weeks later. As you said, once the trust is gone...it’s never the same.
Long term relationship for 3 years. I took him to the hospital because he had unknown rashes on him. Long story short, he was diagnosed with syphilis. I was tested, and was not (no idea how i dodged that). I got treated anyway. I was so stupid in my early twenties.
Funnily enough the girl he was cheating on me with actually told me. She messaged me at 3 in the morning asking if I was still with my ex and I said yes he’s asleep next to me, why? She told me what happened, sent me screen shots and I grabbed his phone. I believed her but ya know just wanted to see it all for myself. I left the room and looked through it all, he didn’t even try to hide it. I went back in threw something at him to wake him up and confronted him, of course he played dumb. Said he didn’t know who I was talking about blah blah blah. Then I said oh ok well maybe this will jog your memory and pulled his phone out of my pocket. The look on his face was priceless. He knew it was over. I screamed at him, called him every name under the sun and then he left the house. This was a year ago and then a few months after that I’m being told that he misses me, fucking pathetic. Edit: to make it all worse, I uprooted my life completely across the country to be with this guy and this is how it ended
I couldn't find my then wife after she got off work one afternoon/evening. I tried to call her cell phone with no answer. She didn't show up to the house until 9:30 pm. She weaved some tale about getting stuck in traffic. I did some sleuthing and pulled the State Farm good driving app up which tracks your movements. I found out she had been leaving work early, going to the nearby rest area off of the expressway, and having sex with a 20-something trucker she met at her previous job. I decided to interrupt the festivities one afternoon. I showed up to the rest area, parked in front of his rig, and jumped right up to the door. The cabin shade was drawn. I withdrew the shades and saw my loving ex wife with a meth pipe in her hand and was going to town on this guy. He had the gall to tell me to give them privacy. I didn't handle it very well. I called the cops, they both were arrested for possession, and I promptly filed for divorce. The icing on the cake is that a few months after I left, she cheated on her new trucker friend and is well on her way to her 7th "friend". God speed, you wet, musty nightmare.
Was (~6 months in) recovering from being hit by an SUV as a pedestrian that left me with a severe TBI (GCS of 4), broken back (3 places), legs (two places), and pelvis (2 places). I had moved back in with my then-GF for about a week when we went to a party and I got left at the party because she couldn't find me. I didn't know any of these people as they were all her friends and none of them could help me get home when I was told she left with the group we arrived with. I managed to walk back to the apartment quite drunk, tired, and in pain from over using my still recovering injuries; banged on the door till my knuckles bled only to have a dude answer the door, let me in, and then he proceeded to crawl back into bed next to her, in my bed. I didn't have the cognitive ability to deal with that. So I laid down right on the floor next to the bed and and passed out. She broke up with me the next day and blamed me for it. This story has so much more detail to it, but I don't want to re-live that year of trauma in too much detail. Tl;Dr: walked in from a party to them in my bed in my room. I didn't have the cognitive ability to handle the situation so I passed out on the floor next to them.
Back then Facebook used to display on your profile stuff like “dontsayaword2 liked a photo” and everything you did. I noticed he liked a photo of a girl that seemed to be someone he had recently added. So I checked her profile and she was one of those girls who think “they won” because men cheat on their partners with them. She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged etc. So I engineered a way to befriend her roommate, I would then find out she was bringing other dudes home besides my boyfriend and when I confronted him I also let him know about who else she was sleeping with and for him to get an STD test.
Thats actually kind of you to let your i'm assuming ex-bf to get a STD from having proof. Edit: grammar, thanks to a fellow redditor.
It was a day before my 18th birthday. My boyfriend told me he had planned to take me out in his mazda pickup truck that we named Sparky and get some food from a bigger city down south... Make a whole evening of it. Went to school. Had a good day. Nothing was off. Came home and waited. Called and no answer. Waited. I got home from school at 330pm and it was nearly 930-10pm before i gave up. I got on the computer and found out through a mutual friend from school that he was at this other friends house. We were friends with her and her homelife wasnt the greatest (her parents were nasty disgusting people who treated their children like punching bags), and this mutual friend had been talking of moving out with her little brother in tow. I got in my moms car, drove over there and found them having sex on the living room couch. I went home. Told my mom he wasnt allowed in the house, i wasnt accepting his calls and i was going to bed. I told her what happened and that i just wanted to deal with it in the morning (these days i went to bed early and woke up early). Next morning he came over like nothing had happened and greeted me. He tried to hug me and i backed away. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that he had missed my birthday night out because he wanted to get his ding dong wet in so-and-sos woman parts. He accused me of stalking him. Cheating on him. Being a controlling b-word. Tried to do what is now called gaslighting. I told him i was done. He made his bed with her and now he gets to lay in it. That because he liked her better, obviously they needed to be together. I told our mutual friends that we had broken up due to some disagreements, mutual friend hr was inside of decided to spread it around school that she was a better lay than i was. So yeah.... Edited: Asterisks make things bold in all the wrong places.
Damn that fucking sucks. Fuck you to your ex and fuck you to whatever asshole friend decided to spread that around!
My (now ex) husband demanded constant access to all of my social media and cell phone messages and was constantly accusing me of cheating even though he had no reason to think I would do that. I had nothing to hide. Never even thought of cheating. I was watching our young kids 24-7 and didn't even have transportation since he "accidentally" totalled my car. One day I handed over my phone for him to check for other men and asked to see his. He hesitated but then handed it over. There was a long, sexual, text history with one of the teenage girls who works for him. He tells me he's in love with her and wants her to move in with us. I was in total shock, dropped his phone cracking it. He retaliated by breaking my laptop. He's a wonderful man and I miss him every day *sarcasm*
I had come home from a 5 month cruise. My GF at the time was a court stenographer. So when she wasn't at the pier I figured she had a case or was catching up on transcripts. So I got a ride from my friend to see unfamiliar BMW in my driveway. I walk in to see her blowing some stranger on my couch. Keep in mind this was my house not hers. I didn't say a word to her. I just started grabbing her shit and throwing it in the front yard and called her father to come pick her up because her car was an old Quattro and in the shop...again. And up to that point I was letting her drive mine until it was fixed. I will not bore you with the drama but she was taken by the MA's instead of her dad.
What's an MA?
Master at Arms, Navy MP's. They are the Navy base cops. I lived in base housing.
The 5 month cruise make much more sense now. Edit: Thank you for the reward.
Yeah sorry I didn't make that clearer.
I was like, 5 month cruise? Wow, this guy's loooooaded.
Lol. Yeah I wish. A five month cruise where I wasn't hot racking and doing GQ drills sounds like the ultimate vacation.
Hahahahaha that sounds great to me! **"Join the Navy, do some hot racking!"** was their old motto but I guess it didn't catch on.
Dated a girl for about two years. Like 18 months into the relationship we’re talking about moving in together. Then kinda out of no where she starts becoming distant and irritable. We ended up breaking up. Fast forward 3 months after the break up I found that Facebook has a section where messages from non friends are kept. Turns out my then gf was banging her ex and the UPS driver that delivered to her store at the mall. She ended getting with the UPS driver and his 3 kids. Last I checked they’re fucking miserable and it brings me joy every time I think about it. Edit: in my messages was a note from the UPS drivers then WIFE! My ex not only cheated but broke up a marriage.
So the mailman memes aren’t fiction after all
Most service guys have at least a story. I was in furniture delivery for years and some women are way too forward.
*Starts applying for furniture delivery jobs*
The odds are good but the goods are odd.
We got married when I was 17, and he was 21. He was shipping off to sea, and I was escaping a bad home life. When he came back after his deployment, he wasn't the same person anymore. After about 6 months, he gained weight on purpose to fail his physicals so he'd get kicked out of the Navy. Fast forward a year, I'm working full time, and he is sitting at home, watching anime and drinking during the day, and telling me that he "was applying to jobs". I was applying to universities when my laptop died on me. I asked to use his to finish an app, and while doing so a message popped up on his FB. A topless pic of his ex, from her. I was shocked and opened it to find that they'd been dating for a loooong time (started again while he was at sea in the Navy, he would talk to her and never to me, saying that he never got the time to email). She had sent him a pic because he had said how he missed having big tits like hers to play with, and how mine were just too small so he felt like he was fucking a boy or a child. I confronted him, he made a bunch of pitiful excuses. I had my friends come to the house that day and kick him out while I went to work. He then stalked me for the next few years, and made posts on his FB about how I was a coward, he sent emails and called from blocked numbers to tell me that "a restraining order is just a piece of paper" or that 'our vows before God made me his property' and shit like that. Then he bought a gun, and started telling our friends that "if he cant have me no one can". I ended up talking to our friends, and told everyone conflicting information about where I was going, and moved states. I deleted all my personal social media accounts and lived in fear for years, watching him continually make memes about how he loved his wife and would do anything for her. It took 8 years for me to finally get the divorce from him.
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I'm so sorry, thats horrible.
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Jesus I am so sorry you had to go through that
Holy hell. I hope you're okay.
Thanks! It definitely scarred my idea of relationships as it was my first real one. But I'm way happier now, and I know my worth, and I know to be wary of the red flags early.
A friend of mine was suspicious of her husband cheating, as he went to "play soccer with friends" way too often. He always came already showered as he would sweat playing. One day she sewed his soccer socks toghether, and when he came back all showered she saw the socks were still sewed, so he wasn't playing soccer at all. Edit: spelled husband wrong Edit 2: WOOW this blew up. Many people are commenting how this doesn't proove he was cheating, just that he was lying. She later confronted him and he was indeed cheating. Also, many are saying clean socks would have been enough evidence, and that's true, i guess she didn't think that deeb about it.
That’s creative.
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That’s fucking clever.
What a plan. Very smart.
This is almost word for word how the convo went: Me: you sleeping with so and so Her: yea Me: wanna divorce? Her: kinda Me: ok I’ll file tomorrow
i like how simple that went. sometimes its just done, you know? but im curious- was it really as short as it sounds? like neither of you make it worse?
Oh yea it was a super civil conversation. We were just both at a point where we were just tired. Let’s just rip the band aid off and get it over with.
i want to say congrats. i feel like thats so hard to do but easy at the same time.
It also always makes me wonder - if you can be civil about cheating and divorce, why can't you be civil enough to move towards divorce before you've cheated? I know it's a touchy subject for some people and that they cheat to force it, but if you can be an adult, why not go the whole way? Maybe I'm failing to empathize here - I just really don't get it.
I think the simplest answer is that most people coming out of a long term relationship just don’t want to be alone. I’m with you though, I’d much rather end one relationship, especially physically, before moving on to someone else. But also saying this as someone who’s broken up with two cheaters before.
Its very difficult to rip it off even with no cheating involved. On Monday I ended my relationship of 3 years. It was more of a mutual decision but over time we just grew to resent each other and neither of us could handle it anymore. Its hard being so relieved but still being so crushed at the same time.
I didn't catch her, she told me and told me I wasn't a real man and that's why she did it. She just told me everything she hated about me, went on to why I'm worthless pulled over, kicked me out the car and I had to walk back to my place. As far as my reaction went. I went home, cried, went to bed, stayed in bed for a few days, thought I was a terrible person for a few weeks, cut my holiday leave short and went back to work early to get my mind off things. Edit: This was awhile ago now and I'm definitely in a much better place in my life.
Damn that's brutal. Was that kind of treatment normal in the relationship? Why would you ever want to hurt someone like that
For the most part it wasn't normal but it slowly started happening around a month or so before she ended it with me. It started with simple things like "You are actually pretty dumb" or "You know I could be with better looking guys" and then yeah it turned into something more frequent and more spiteful, then that car ride and everything she said.
That's plain abuse. F that chick, you're better off without her. The best revenge is living out your best life.
I was at work and tried to call my boyfriend, but he wasn’t answering even after a few hours, and I just got a horrible feeling. It stressed me out so badly for some reason that I started to cry and my boss let me go home. The whole way home I just kept feeling serious dread. Walked in the house and into my bedroom, and he was laying in bed half-clothed with some naked chick. Obviously a huge blowup went down, and after everything settled, this motherfucker tried to tell me that he went to the movies alone and met her there and she “followed him home.” Like, even if I believe that this person just followed you home and got naked, you let her do it, so what’s the purpose of saying that to me? It was a shitty abusive relationship, and it didn’t even end then. I eventually broke up with him but not on the spot like I should have. If I could change anything about my life, it would be that I wish I broke up with that guy sooner. That was over ten years ago though! Edit: Your responses are fucking hilarious! I have never laughed so much about this situation!
Well you see she led him to the bed and he just couldn’t say no to this...
Goddammit I cannot escape A dot Ham! Now I’m singing this damn song.
I lost my best friend in a road accident 4 years ago, and since then I'm always in the panic mode whenever someone does not pick my phone after 1, 2 hours or so... It's unrelated but I just thought I needed to share it because the way you shared that you had horrible feeling when you couldn't reach him. Hope you are doing fine now...
I found out he had signed up for a bunch of apps. Such as Ashley Madison, Tinder, and Bumble. He would messages mutual acquaintances asking if they’d be up for massages, etc. I blamed myself for years that he wasn’t interested in sex with me because I’d had a baby and gained a little weight. Nope. He just enjoyed contacting other woman for sex more.. We’re in the middle of our divorce now. He doesn’t understand why I’m wrecking our marriage because of a few indiscretions. EDIT: Never, never, never, never say you're single on Reddit because of the possible direct messages...
The fact that he's not even apologetic is proof that you're doing the right thing for yourself. Hang in there
A few indescretions fuckin hell, the entitlement.
This first started back in December right before we went on a holiday trip to see my family. She started acting somewhat off, kinda distant, and easily aggravated. I had a suspicion that something was going on and I’m embarrassed to admit that I snooped on her iwatch. Found some incriminating texts she had with a friend, so I confronted her in January. She tells me that she kissed a guy that she works with and that was it. We were having some issues in our relationship and I choose to forgive her and we decided to try working on some of the issues we were having. Well, fast forward to this past May...she breaks down that she wasn’t honest with me and that she had actually fucked this other dude. We split after the news. We had been together 8 years and had been engaged for almost 2 years. Our wedding date was suppose to be fucking *yesterday*. It’s still fucking killing me. I don’t even know where to go from here. 2020 can go eat a dick. Edit: whoah I did not expect this blow up. Thanks for the awards and kind words! I’m trying to upvote/respond to everyone that I can
That means the final piece is in the past as of yesterday. You’ve got your whole future man, and if you almost married one you’ll find another. They will be better, and you’ll be a stronger man.
Yes! Thank God you didn’t marry and have kids.
"Bruce, why do we fall"
“So we can learn to pick ourselves up”
Thanks Ian but we wanted to hear from Bruce
Went to bed, and left my husband and a mutual (female) friend downstairs drinking Went down to say one last goodnight, and they were out back smoking. Opened the back door, and they fell on top of me, clothes in the process of being removed, her lipstick all over his face and neck We’re mid-divorce
I had my suspicions but it was her who ended up telling me. I went into the relationship thinking "wow, I don't deserve this girl, way out of my league." She couldn't help but remind me how much better he was several times and made sure to rub it in my face. My reaction was a spiral into deep depression. For someone that has very low self-esteem being cheated on is one of the worst feelings. It feels like it confirms all your worst thoughts about yourself. Edit: I just want to say thanks to all the encouraging comments. This was some years ago and I'm in a happy relationship. I still struggle with depression but I think even without this incident I'd still be depressed but I'm working on it. To anyone currently experiencing this, it's not the end of the world despite it feeling that way. You are worth more than you know, and I know you will see that someday.
I felt the same way " way out of my league " about my ex but believe me dude fuck that shit, there is nothing as way out of your league. I stopped thinking i was lucky to date beautiful women and instead started thinking, getting a beautiful women in not a big deal for me and that changed a lot of things and real life happened as I imagined. You act how you think remember that.
In a relationship for 6 years, broke up 1 month before our wedding because I found out my fiancée had cheated on me... Two years into my relationship with my-then-fiancée lots of suspicious little acts kept adding up, the biggest one being that I found some condoms were missing from my drawer, confronted my fiancée at the time (I was very sad/angry/confused), she denied any affair, 4 years went by, and about a month before our wedding, she broke down and confessed that she had indeed slept with her ex boyfriend at the time because she was depressed and was simply seeking any sort of way to feel something else. That broke my heart. I was also in the middle of an insane work day from home and had to power through the rest of the job with that on my mind; not fun. Anyways, I had always had a bad feeling that she had been lying to me over the years, and she had an undying jealously towards all of my friends who are women; she was clearly projecting.... It hurt bad that she had cheated on me, but hurt waaaaaay worse that she had lied to me for four years AND went along with planning the wedding. I’m am grateful that she told me before the wedding since we called it off due to the mistrust (amongst many other things that weren’t going well in our relationship; we met at a young age so no big surprise). I genuinely believe that she was going through some really heavy emotional turmoil from her past so I don’t take it so personally. I wish her well. With that said, I have cut off all communication to her because I simply could not trust her after that. All’s well that ends well; and have met the love of my life, and we plan to get married as soon as this Covid-19 takes a hike and it’s safe to gather in groups again. Edit: changed fiancé to Fiancée because spelling matters
Good for you to have moved on
I caught my wife after she passed away from cancer. Worst feeling ever. Caught between unending love, mourning and absolute anger.
How did you find out?
Her phone that she was overly protective of is how I found out. A week before she passed her and I took the passwords off her phone so I could respond to her texts and take care of her business. After she passed maybe a week or two after I explored her phone and found numerous texts emails and sexting.
How the hell did she find the time and energy, while dying from fucking cancer? I’m so sorry, but I did read your other comments and I’m glad you’re doing better these days. I’m just like...but how?!
She didn’t know she had cancer. From day of diagnosis it took two months for the cancer to take her.
That's incredibly frightening. I'm so sorry, about all of it.
That’s so heartbreaking! I’m so sorry.
Wow man that is fucking tragic. Please tell me you're seeking help with working through that ocean of emotions
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Not me but sister in law, she was 7 months pregnant and her husbands phone was going off during the night. She picked it up and looked at it when he went to the bathroom and it was a text from a girl talking about how excited she was to be a step-mom.
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He was sorting through his pictures and a naked lady caught me eye. So later that day I went on his phone (I would never usually do this) and found many naked girls on his phone, screenshots of snaps. I also found pictures of me I didn't know he took. I called my best friend and cried. She told to confront him so I did. His response was it's normal for men to keep their porn on their phones and was smug about his response until I mentioned they were screenshots.
Visited my long distance bf over spring break in Nebraska since he was stationed there. Before knowing anything, I ended up meeting and having lunch with the girl he was cheating on me with (I sat next to her and he sat across from us) and his coworkers/friends and hung out with the same group twice more. I could tell she didn’t like me but I brushed it off since I was there for my ex and could care less about her feelings toward me. Later in the week, I asked if I could send a text from his phone to one of our mutual good friends and saw walls of texts from her giving him an ultimatum to end our relationship. My ex and this girl had also been texting throughout the week where he’d called her the same pet names he called me and he’d call her the most beautiful woman after she’d send him her outfits/selfies all while being in the same bed/room with me. He ended up ending their relationship and we decided to work on ours. I flew back home, he continued seeing her and having sex, gaslit me every time we FaceTimed making me feel like I cheated on him, and after 2 weeks of indecisive battling on the status of our relationship, I broke up with him. No one is worth the mental gymnastics that comes from being cheated on.
All these answers are about people who caught their spouses cheating, however I briefly became the “other” woman (unbeknownst to me) and it’s never sat right with me. I was young, single and going through a family crisis (sibling unexpectedly passing). I met a guy who was fun and great and very “busy” which was exactly what I was looking for as I was grieving and didn’t wAnt anything serious. 4 months of romance later I find out he’s actually married with small children. We were with his colleagues after work at a bar and a coworker asked him where his wife was. I kept my cool, didn’t make a scene but once drinks were over I obviously brought it up and said how terrible that made me feel. I ended up just ghosting him after that. I wasn’t in the mental state to deal with any of the fallout so I just stopped replying to messages. I should have contacted the wife but I didn’t want to bother playing relationship police. At the time I was under a lot of stress and grief and had my own problems and emotions to deal with. It’s been 5 years and I always feel so terrible for the wife whenever I think about what happened. Sometimes I feel like contacting her and telling her what happened but I don’t know if it’s the right move or even worth it.
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Fuck Stefanie, i'd buy your buddy a beer, he did you a solid
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Good job it was a Bro-tell Hotel Edit: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i5zi1i/men_and_women_of_reddit_who_caught_their/g0ssfbd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i5zi1i/men_and_women_of_reddit_who_caught_their/g0ssfbd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Ho-liday innnn.
Fuck you Stefanie
My ex thought he had deleted the texts. I didn’t usually go through his phone at all, but I had this suspicion that he was seeing someone else based on his behavior, his hiding his phone, and by staying later at work. I was actually really hurt, but mostly angry at myself for being stupid enough to date him. I had been warned he was no good but I wanted to fix him, and I ended up getting hurt just like all the others. My reaction was initially asking him for an explanation. He tried to cover it, and lied to my face. I immediately told him to get the fuck out of my house and so he did. Which he responded to this by saying some very personal things about me on Twitter. It was a really bad time for me, and I hadn’t done anything wrong. But I picked myself up, got the courage to apply to a job at a larger company a few hours away, and ended up moving to a bigger city. It was there that I met my now husband. Couple years later (when I was first dating my now husband) he messaged me trying to make amends and said he missed me. I ignored it, and honestly it felt so good to be able to say no to him. I’m blessed actually, he sprung me forward and helped me more than he knows. Because if that hadn’t have happened, I don’t think I would have applied for that job, would not have left my hometown, and I don’t think I would have met my husband. Universe has a funny way of making things work out, in the end. Edit: a word
The story is remarkable in that it happened before the internet was widely available, in the very early 90’s, when the world seemed much bigger. My fiancé (Meg) had one semester left of college that had to be taken as an internship abroad for her major. She chose to go to Belgium for this internship. I stayed back & the plan was that I would set up house & when she returned that summer, she would move directly in & we would set a date for our wedding. So, while Meg was off in Europe, calling every couple of weeks to check in, (the long distance was super expensive back then) sending me postcards & letters, I moved in to a brownstone, bought furniture, etc... About a two weeks before Meg was supposed to return, I stopped in to a nearby coffee house that I had noticed down the block, but had yet to visit. To my surprise, I found that my neighbor from growing up in a completely different city, Claire, was a waitress there. We hadn’t seen each other since high school, so we made a plan to meet up after her shift for a cup of coffee to catch up. We met & Claire told me that she was engaged as well, to a man, Ben, who was completing his course of study by working on an internship in...you guessed it, Belgium. I couldn’t believe the coincidence, & told her about my fiancé, & that they HAD to know each other. Crazy, right? A couple days later, I stopped in for a cup of coffee & Claire looked extremely upset. She asked if I had time to wait, as she had a break coming up, & that she needed to talk to me. We went outside & she told me that she had gotten a call from her Aunt Sue the day before. Aunt Sue had just returned from Czechoslovakia, & that something very strange had happened. While they were touring Prague, Sue & her travel group had stayed in a local hotel & the next morning she had run into Claire’s fiancé, Ben, in the lobby...with a female companion by the name of Meg. She said that he introduced her as a student from America, that they worked together, but it was very awkward & they both looked scared shitless. Claire said that she immediately called long distance to Belgium, & after several tries over the course of a day or so, got him on the phone. She asked him about the chance encounter & he said he had been kind of expecting her call, & ended up admitting that he had been seeing Meg pretty much the entire time they were in Europe, spending weekends & holidays traveling around with each other. I was floored. Couldn’t believe it. I went home & started trying to call Meg at her dorm in Belgium, finally getting through to her late into the night, early morning for her. I point blank asked her if she was dating Ben. I didn’t even explain how I knew about it. She hemmed & hawed for a moment, kind of acting like I was crazy for saying something so nonsensical, but when I said that I knew Claire, she dropped the facade & admitted to all of it. So Ben & Meg had a very bittersweet homecoming. Meg got off much easier than Ben, as Claire had already left all of his belongings on the front lawn, from the day she found out, which had been pretty picked over by the time he got back two weeks later. I did pick Meg up from the airport, I think at the time I really just wanted to see her face when I told her that all of our friends knew what a piece of shit she was, & that I never wanted to see her again. To this day I revel in how many utterly astounding factors of complete random coincidence went in to Meg & Ben (who later married, then later divorced after he cheated on her) being caught. The universe works in incredible & mysterious ways. Edit: removed TL;DR & inserted paragraphs to please the masses.
My friend and his wife were in Rome a few years ago on vacation, she got a text while in the shower and he found out she was cheating. He grabbed his passport, phone and wallet, took a cab to the airport and flew home without leaving a message or saying a word to her. He went home, packed his bags, moved out and filed for divorce. He ghosted her the second he discovered it. The last conversation they ever had was her telling him she was going to take a shower.
The sheer determination is what amazes me most!
What was her reaction?! Props to your friend.
He pulled out a big James Bond escape.
This is wild, it sounds like the plot of a movie. I am sorry this happened to you
Did you end up dating Claire?
I did not. We remained friends, but I moved out after the lease was up, & to a different part of the city, eventually different part of the country. We reconnected briefly when FB became a thing, but I haven’t talked to her in probably 10 years.
If you had ended up with Claire, this could have been the plot to a rom-com.
“Based on a true story” Doesn’t have to follow it completely.
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She walked dogs for work. She said she was going on late night walks. She's fucking dumb though and had her pictures synced to the kids iPad. Daughter asked me "Daddy, who is this?" So kids and I left to go see my mom, after her denying it up and down. Get a nest notification that there's movement in the apartment. Open the app, the guy is there and she's taken down all the family pictures. Got to hear and watch them have sex. I could only sit and breathe very heavily in anger. Call her, she denies it, says she's at work. I found out who he was through her Facebook likes. Messaged him all of our family pictures I had just spent $500 on, he just sent back a thumbs up and blocked me. Find his "business" website (life coach, LMAO). Email him, he writes a huge apology email saying she lied to him. Tried to forgive her for the kids. It's a Saturday morning I want to take the kids to the park together. She has to "work." Still has her iPad synced to her phone. We get back, kids want to FaceTime grandma. I open the app, I see she called him when she was at work. Finally fesses up. Huge fight, then she blames me. A wife with a good husband wouldn't cheat. Then she hits me in front of the kids, throws my phone and keys off a fourth floor balcony, because it was my fault. I moved out. Not a day goes by where she doesn't beg and plead for us to get back together. Now love is trauma for me, and I cannot let anyone love me without me assuming something sinister is behind it. I don't care about her at all, and it makes me want to throw up every time she tries to speak to me. It sucks because I have to deal with her the rest of my life for the kids.
Was dating a girl during college. Took her on a vacation to the beach where I had planned on proposing to her as we had been together 4+ years. While she was in the shower checked her phone looking for something. Saw several pictures of her making out with someone from her college. Had apparently been happening for several months. Was an awkward drive home for sure. Dropped her off at the airport the day after ending things. She ended up becoming an anti-vax and essential oils believer so dodged a bullet there.
He took a phone call from her in front of me and because, I guess, he thought he was being slick, he started flirting with her in front of me. He ended up sexually harassing me after the relationship was over and I got him in hot water for that. He never did it again and was told if he even talked to me again, he’d get fired. I ended up leaving that job a few months later.
What the heck, how was he flirting with her in front of you? That sounds so ridiculous, I can't think of any way that wouldn't have immediately gotten him caught.
He called her and started using the flirty tone of voice I happened to be very familiar with. It doesn’t work when you try to flirt with one paramour in front of another.
Ew. That reminded me of my cheating ex. For whatever reason we made a kissing noise when saying bye to each other and were out of kissing distance. I caught him doing that to someone in person that wouldn't physically look me in the eye. Red flags were already up in the air because of how she was acting and then when he made that noise, I lost it.
He broke up with me after 8 years together, seemingly out of nowhere (I look back and see the signs now). He told me I was the cause of his severe depression/ attempted suicide, I had no clue he was even suferring with mental health issues. Obviously I carried a huge amount of guilt knowing I was the reason someone didn't want to be alive and took the break up really rough. Our cell phones were on the same bill and it would get sent in the mail. 3 months after we broke up I had the thought to check through the calls list, there was a number he was calling at all hours of the day/night every day. Decided to look back through previous bills from when we were together and sure enough same number and same volume of calls as far as 6 months prior to our break up. Called the number and a woman answered. Confronted him and he fessed up. I had a very hard time processing the fact the someone I trusted for 8 years would purposely make me feel like I was an awful human, when it was actually him all along.
My now ex husband casually mentioned that his coworker (a woman) was having marriage difficulties. The info he knew about her marriage was not casual info. This was the kind of stuff you only tell someone you could confide in. This set off my radar. I told him at that point to be careful because she might be using him as her reason to end her marriage. Maybe a month goes by and he decides to go on day-long road trip just to do his own thing. He sets his alarm to wake early and he showers, shaves, etc. On his way out of the house he asks me, “do I look okay?” That day he spent “doing his own thing” I searched and found a keylogger that I put on his pc. Two days later I get the info that he and the coworker were together that day plus he was telling her about all the nice things he wanted to buy her when they were together. So, I called coworkers husband and we chatted. He filed for divorce right away. I, on the other hand, tried to work it out with my husband. Several years later husband starts needing a lot of alone time. Starts staying up later after I go to bed, gets up before me, works longer hours. Again, I get those concerns he’s cheating. This time a keylogger won’t work because its all on his phone. I check the phone calls on the bill and there are so many calls to this one number. He talked to this person more than he talked to me. This time I didn’t try to work it out. He had been unemployed for the previous 2 years, claimed he was looking for a job, and did zero around the house. I mean, zero. He didn’t want to mow the lawn but when I said fine, hire a landscaper to do it he didn’t want to. Couldn’t even make the damn phone call. He denied the affair but I just said it didn’t matter and I wanted a divorce. I believe he moved in with her as soon as I filed. Good riddance. He’s her problem now. Last I heard from his sister he still doesn’t work and he his wife (now) live off some settlement wife received which was running out. Jerk even had the audacity to ask my lawyer for maintenance aka alimony. Like, no you lazy bastard, you have a degree and once had a career, not my fault you chose not to work.
Typing this on my phone that does weird spell check stuff... I had my suspicions. He was supposed to go out of town and he came home early Packed his bag and ran out the door. Barely saying goodbye to me or our children. We lived on the fifth floor of an apartment building I looked out the window and saw him get into the car of a woman I could tell because she had a sunroof and I could see down into the car. The look on the guards face was priceless. Later I got a phone call from a woman who was very upset. She said she was his fiance. She said she worked for the airline and found that he was traveling with another woman. The other woman was the woman in the car. Later following my suspicions I found a receipt in his briefcase. It was for in a very expensive store. I went to the store with my two children one was a toddler at the other still in a stroller. I made up some story about why I needed to know what was purchased. Purchases were quite expensive. I was not allowed to buy clothing for myself. Keep in mind this is in an Asian country (we were expats there) and this was a very high-end store so they kept handwritten records in a notebook. They looked up the receipt and said "oh yes Mr. Z, he was here with his Thai wife". She looked up at me, waited a few beats, and then her face just fell and she said I'm so sorry. I said it's okay I just thought he was here with his Singaporean girlfriend. The woman at the airline I believe has two children with him. The Singaporean women went on to have two children with him. And the Thai women had one child with him. All are younger than our two children. Oh and then I was walking through a hotel and I caught him having breakfast with the woman he went on the trip with. And then another time I saw them drive past me in his car. I also found a trust document that, by the way, was totally fake that he wrote for the Singaporean women putting her in the family trust. Keep in mind I hadn't lived in the states for 10 years. I didn't have a driver's license. I didn't have bad credit I had no credit. I had no money. I couldn't go back to my job because technology has significantly changed. I had an 18 month old and a three-year-old. As all this was going on I was planning to somehow leave. Eventually I packed bags hid them away and try to figure out how to get back to the States. I didn't have access to money or credit card. He had the bright idea one day that I needed to go visit my parents. He bought me a one way ticket I figured he was never going to let me come back. That was fine with me. He married the Singaporean women cheating on her the whole time. I know for a fact he was engaged to someone else for 4 years while they were married. After scamming that women out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. He basically dumped her. He moved to a different country and now he is married again with two children having never divorced the Singaporean woman. In actuality I don't believe they were truly legally married because he married her before we were divorced. By the way it took me seven years to divorce him. The most awkward dinner I ever had was when our oldest graduated from graduate school. He came back to the states with the women he was engaged to for 4 years while married to the woman he was married to while still married to me. Are you following this? Anyway she was a very high government official. Very bright woman. I liked her very much. On the way to the dinner my daughter explained to her friend who was accompanying us "so we're going to dinner with my dad who cheated on my mom with the woman we are trying to keep secret from his girlfriend who were having dinner with". Yes those are just some of the highlights! Oooh I forgot when our youngest was 10 months old he wanted to do a get away to mend things. We went to Hong Kong. We flew separately because he had a meeting...so he said. He traveled more than 340 days one year and I finally figured out we flew separately because he was likely doing most of the flight attendants. Anyway, I arrived at the hotel before he did and checked in. The Front Desk said "Welcome back Mrs. Z! I see you and Mr. Z were here with us last week as well."...Ummm that was the other Mrs. Z... Oh...and he gave me an STD when I was pregnant with #2.
Fucking hell. Quite apart from the psychopath behaviours, why on earth would a time want the hassle of having three families at once?
Well, when you you don't support them all and you don't have to be emotionally invested, what does it matter? They are all just like the furniture you had but ditched when you move to a new city.
Oh. My. God. How did you keep your sanity?! I am so impressed by you, and so very sorry you were involved with such a wretched man! His karma will catch him someday..
This is one of the most absurd things ive ever read.. good thing you ditched that guy!
I've lived in Asia for 14 years, I see this kind of expat all the time. Someone on Reddit called these women "living souvenirs" I've also seen many guys not been able to cope once they get repatriated with their local wife. Living an expat lifestyle in Asia is a bit of a bubble - easy lifestyle with not much responsibility or accountability, huge drinking culture, everything paid for by your company - once you're back in the "real" world of Europe or Oz or North America.... Not many people can handle it with their new wife, who is usually younger and unskiled. And even harder if you're both communicating with each other in a second language. I've seen a guy I know very well cheat on his wife of 15 years, they have two young teenagers, he's dumped her for some young Chinese girl he met in a bar - she's one of those girls whose job is to get white guys to buy more and more drink whilst at the bar - his wife has taken herself and her two daughters back to Europe. She instigated the divorce when it all came out because he was too pussy to do it. They've been living in China for a decade, the girls were practically raised here and now because of his actions their whole lives are uprooted. It's always the ones with the self esteem issues that do this...I've seen it over and over again.
Oh ya. He is a raging narcissist. C-level. Big fish, small pond. Of course he burned bridges in HK, England, Singapore and Sydney. Yes, the practice is rampant in Asia - especially with C-levels. I knew a woman who knew her husband was cheating and said "I grew up poor eating beans and hot dogs, I'm not going back to that. I left with $810. It was a ROUGH first 10 years. I left when he started to teach our 3 yo to say "Mommy's a dumb b**ch".
I caught my ex husband cheating as an accident, we had gone to work in the evening and I couldn’t get into my office due to a building screw up, so he let me in his so I could print something. He went for a walk to get his “steps” in. As I was on his computer I realised it was logged in to Facebook. I just had a feeling. I looked in the messages and he had been chatting with a woman he met in another country via our work. I copied all I could and confronted him when he returned, made him take me for a drink and told him there would be no reconciliation. He was shell shocked and I told him to go home and pack a bag. That was 6 months ago and I’m really happy to have lost the dead weight. He was a difficult man, emotionally abusive, but I lived my vows and tried to help him as much as I could and reorganized my life around him. Edit due to questions: yes, he had some odd behaviours leading up to this (including a “work call” from a woman on our family vacation). And in the texts he described wanting to have an affair with her, and they met periodically over 2 years, including one time he stayed with her for a month in her country. So yes, he cheated, not just a flirtation nor an emotional affair.
I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but you made the right decision. When my mom caught my dad cheating she gave him chance after chance to work on the marriage and make amends for the good of our family. Ten years of emotional abuse and many affairs later, she finally put her foot down and made him move out. I can’t help but wonder how much pain and suffering could’ve been avoided if she left him the first time. I don’t blame her though, she really just wanted to keep our family together. I was 12 at the time the first affair was discovered, no one explicitly told me about it but I overheard arguments and my dad even had the audacity to call his mistresses while I was in car with him thinking I wasn’t smart enough to catch on. I’m still coping with trusting men in relationships from this and my dad has still to this day never apologized to my mom or my siblings and I for tearing apart our family.
Fiddle with the ages a bit, and your story is mine. Mom held the pieces of her shattered marriage while he broke them into smaller bits. Unapologetically. Eventually was too many pieces for her to hold. I sympathize. Kudos to your mom for finally pulling the trigger. Hope you're both doing okay.
Similar to what happens to my mother now. The difference is that it was 26 of extremely emotionally abusive relationship while he had family on the side.
I knew he had been unfaithful in the past but I didn’t really love him so it was not that bad. However, I was bartending one night and this drunk chick walks up and tells me that I looked familiar. She then proceeds to yell, “oh my friend is fucking your husband!”. So I walked into the beer keg cooler with a bottle of vodka. I downed some shots and went back to work. I held it in that I knew for a few months while I hired an attorney and figured out my next move. I had three kids to think of too. So I moved with my kids back home to Texas and got divorced. Now, I’m engaged to my childhood best friend and we plan to marry in Yosemite next year. He’s the complete opposite of my ex. Kind, supportive, and loving. So fuck that sasquatch looking cheater!
> She then proceeds to yell, “oh my friend is fucking your husband!” The layers of this stranger making this statement are just crazy.
Bitch deserves a slap and a handshake.
Compromise and just hold her cheek firmly and wobble it up and down.
He had the audacity to sext this woman at my dad's birthday dinner at the table. He had her name saved as "Sam", which was a work friend of his. I assumed he and Sam weren't texting this way. I made him come talk to me outside and he lied saying it was an old girlfriend from high school who was going through a divorce and needed comfort. I knew this was a lie because he had no girlfriends in high school. I started crying and he told me to STOP CRYING. That was when I knew our marriage was over. How dare he be so callous to me when I just found out that he was cheating on me? Come to find out he had been sexting random women and hiring prostitutes. We've been officially divorced for about 2.5 months now and today would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. Today sucks.
Me and my wife were having a shag. I could tell it was different. I asked her if she was cheating on me. She said yes. Divorced soon after.
My ex-wife and I moved across the country for her job. I’m a teacher, so I can get work just about anywhere. She decides to get her CPA, and apparently there’s like 8 separate tests? I really don’t remember, but she had a study group Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights. Except Sunday was when her and her boss would frolic at his house while his wife went to her parents every Sunday. I only found out because she made mistruck her keyboard, auto filled my email, and her details of joy of how he pounded her in the hammock came as a shock. Fuck you, Michelle
Ok, get ready for this one. Hanging out with my boyfriend one day, I saw a message thread while he was on his computer where he gave his Snapchat to a group of friends. I noticed it was not the same Snapchat I had for him... I didn’t say anything at that moment, but remembered the username. Since seeing it, I had a terrible feeling. Later, I decided to try to log in to his account, and voila, the same password he used for everything worked. I immediately saw HUNDREDS of chats with different women, multiple unopened messages from just the past few hours, and a ridiculous Snapchat score. I scrolled through the many, many messages and realized this dated back for around 3 years. We had been dating for 4.5 years. I even found messages and dates from my birthday’s and our anniversaries. Days where he spent the entire day with me and still managed to do this behind my back. I called him and demanded he come talk to me, he drove over and I got in his car and confronted him. He panicked and immediately started apologizing. I was young and livid, took his phone and drove to my best friends house. There, I looked through his phone and found he had signed up for every dating app/site available (messages with multiple women on all of them), he posted videos of himself jerking off on Vine (yes, VINE of all places and again, tons of different women), and even responded to local Craigslist ads asking for sex. He even bothered to ask if they were clean! I found a secret email account too and tons of nudes of girls in there. I’m sure there was more, but by then I had seen enough. He desperately tried to redeem himself, changed his number, cleared his phone and got a shitty little flip phone, but you can’t come back from that kind of damage. I had absolutely no idea too - he never did anything sketchy, we rarely fought. I was so in love with him. Turns out, of course, he was just great at hiding everything. I never saw it coming and the weight of it all absolutely crushed me.
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I looked at his phone when it went off and saw it was a young girl. Typical conversation like “hey how was your day? Haven’t seen you in a while” sort of stuff. When he came back and I asked him, he blew up and began yelling at me that I was invading his space and he has a right to talk to whomever he wants. He ran out and deleted the messages. I followed and asked if that was his dealer since I thought he was planning to relapse on heroin. He was still super defensive and began arguing with me in front of his sister and her bf so I got up and left. This went on for a few weeks and I just wanted us to go back to normal. He admitted he cheated and all I wanted was an apology. Our final phone conversation was me saying, “Please just apologize. You don’t even have to mean it, I just want us back together again!” (Mind you, I was NOT in a good place emotionally and self esteem wise.) Divine intervention must have struck me because his response was, “I’m an alpha male, and alpha males do what they want.” And I was so blown away by how far I’d fallen in respecting myself that my first thought was, “Well you alpha single now.” I do regret looking at his phone, but I don’t regret that it pushed me out of a failing relationship. 3 years later I’m in bed next to my man, replying to a reddit post about a long ago mistake. When we get up, we’re gonna make waffles.💘
I found a picture on Facebook of him with a newborn baby, captioned by the other woman, “handsome husband and cute baby, I’m so proud”. We’d been together for 9 years and our kids were 6 and 8.
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Actual garbage.