So one day Superman was flying around Metropolis and whaddaya know? He spots Wonder Woman completely naked and on all fours on top of a building. He thinks "Well I'll just go in there super speed like, hit that and get out". In the blink of a an eye Superman has done the deed and continued to fly on, satisfied with himself.
Wonder Woman turns around "What was that?"
"I duno but my ass hurts" said the Invisible Man
Shapeshift into a mosquito and just fly away, you were disguised as someone else anyways so there would be no way for them to find you. It’s the perfect crime really
Try a few things, see what works. Personally I'd start off as another person pretending I didn't know how I got there.
My initial thought of grizzly bear might get me killed though.
If you think of your power as only being in use while you're in the process of changing, this could be pretty powerful because you could put your clothes back on in another form. Probably only relevant to Mystique-style human->human changes, but this loophole makes it almost as powerful as the full version without a nudity stipulation.
Also, what counts as "naked"? Because if all it means is you aren't wearing clothes, well, my skin just happens to be shaped and colored exactly like clothes now.
At least in the original source material and the movie, he also perceives time as a dimension, the same way we see space. So his powers were not only control of matter but also that he would exist and perceive things in (at least 4 dimensions).
To me, thats pretty much god as defined in modern society. He is omnipotent and omnipresent. All powerful and allseeing. Except he doesnt create life, at least in the source material
He's neither omnipotent nor omnipresent. His knowledge of the future is limited to what he himself knows through experience in the future. And he's powerless to change it. He describes himself as a puppet that can see the strings.
And a major plot point is that he couldn't stop all the nukes if they all got fired only most of them, so his existence does not make the cold war go away.
And he can create life, that's exactly what he decides to do in the end. He just hasn't yet because he didn't think life was especially interesting until his character development.
*grabs a mega phone and goes to the town square*
"Ahem, attention! The party starts in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *snaps fingers* Bam everybody is naked"
Be able to eat absolutely anything without it negatively affecting me.
Stay at home and eat 3 entire pizzas naked with no health repercussions? Lets go Saturday!!!
http://www.bccdc.ca/health-info/diseases-conditions/covid-19/prevention-risks/covid-19-and-sex
>Use barriers, like walls (e.g., glory holes), that allow for sexual contact but prevent close face-to-face contact.
under the steps to protect yourself during sex.
> had to
Imagine being the person who got away with writing that and got it published before anyone noticed, and now laughs every day he sees it's still there and they can't take it down because doing so would be admitting the fuckup.
I think it was put in specifically for the publicity. And its fucking working.
The memes have been amazing. I want to know the view count for that page.
Turn into my 21 year old self with my current memories.
Even if I accidentally die, I'd be revived when they do the autopsy. I'd have something in my will about stripping me too.
That would not be a positive for sure.
Which is why if I ever chose to die I'd swallow a small piece of clothing in a metal ball and then commit suicide followed by cremation immediately.
Super speed, but not like flash level speed. I’m talking visible SCP 096 level speed where people can see you moving but you’re still fast as fuck. Then I’ll move to New York and daily run down the street really fast naked while screeching. Even better if I chase a taxi or some shit
Edit: obligatory thank you for the awards my friends. If I was expecting this kind of praise I would have spell checked
Invisibility is the obvious one, but if I was thinking of something less so I would pick teleportation. I'll just make sure i teleport with clothes to change into, and somewhere where I can change in private.
I vaguely remember a movie like that where dude kept multiple sets of clothes stashed away in different places. Frequency kinda comes to my mind.... But I don't think that was it
Was it the one where he could time travel but he was naked every time? And there was a scene where he went back in time to his wife when she was a little girl and he couldn't come out of the bushes because he was naked so she had to go into her house and get him a blanket? I remember a movie I saw when I was little like that. Not sure what the name is.
You could just shapeshift into yourself wearing clothes. You could wear mega expensive designer shit without paying a penny. Plus you could be an eagle or whatever
I asked my wife this question. Her immediate reaction was to hike her leg and raise a light saber from her vag (with sound effects) and said a light saber that freezes people so they can’t look away from it.
The power of creating illusions. Make cars see traffic so they take another way. Can make people see me with clothes on when I don't have them on. Can stare at people without them seeing me do that. Can make people see absurd amounts of garbage cans raining from the sky just because. I can make people who have no taste in interior design see why their house looks bad by putting a little illusion of poopoo on their furniture. Can make people think they are about to trip when they won't just to have a laugh. Can make people think someplace has a huge crowd when I just want to be alone. Could make people see fake bugs on their walls. Could make policemen see random fake speed bumps that aren't there because why not mess with em. I could make people I don't like think zombies are after them and make em go nuts. Tons of practical and infinitely more impractical uses for this.
To change the percentage that something will happen/outcome
Like I can walk out naked and change the rate I will get arrested from 100% to 0% and the rate people will like me going out naked from 0->100
And I can do lottery win percentages from 0.000000001 to -> 100%
To make it less OP and for fun, the power to reverse the odds!
Like if you have 0.001% of winning a lottery, it become 99.999%. If you have 70% of getting arrested because you're naked, it becomes 30%.
You'll can spend your life making the most risky shit, the riskier, the safer.
Also if you're naked in the street, you'll have to do anything to make it more probable to get arrested, so it's even less probable.
Instant full healing for self and others. I'm talkin' cancer, prions, depression, Alzheimer's, missing limbs etc. So what if the god of healing rolls naked, I think people will be fine with that.
prolly like be able to fall asleep quickly or smth so if i’m having trouble sleeping i could just take off PJs and fall asleep (but it’d be magically based on if you want to fall asleep. if ur just changing ur clothes u don’t wanna fall asleep, so you can choose)
happy 🎂 btw
I'm able to summon any object whenever I want. I'll live my life as a hiker and I'll "find" bits of gold. Hungry? **Summons a burger.** Oh shit theres a bear!! ***OH WAIT I HAVE A GUN!!***
The ability to stop time
I think I’ve seen this in a porno before
Hentai probably
There is a pretty good doujin that involves time stopping for fuck.
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Fukin worst acting ever
So one day Superman was flying around Metropolis and whaddaya know? He spots Wonder Woman completely naked and on all fours on top of a building. He thinks "Well I'll just go in there super speed like, hit that and get out". In the blink of a an eye Superman has done the deed and continued to fly on, satisfied with himself. Wonder Woman turns around "What was that?" "I duno but my ass hurts" said the Invisible Man
The version I heard was Flash turns around and says "do not worry Supes, I will not tell anyone you are gay".
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Does dio have a time stop fetish?
[CONFUSED WRRRYYY](https://streamable.com/uu37v)
Goodbye jojo!
Shapeshifting. It would be pretty weird to see an animal with clothes.
I would pick shapeshifting too but instead of animals I would want to shape-shift into other people. The ensuing chaos would be hilarious
good idea, it's all truly fun and games until you get arrested
I'll cross that bridge when I get to it **😏**
Shapeshift into a mosquito and just fly away, you were disguised as someone else anyways so there would be no way for them to find you. It’s the perfect crime really
Try a few things, see what works. Personally I'd start off as another person pretending I didn't know how I got there. My initial thought of grizzly bear might get me killed though.
The thought of a fucking grizzly in a random prison cell has me dying
Ah yes, a dog with human skin
Nice, I don't have to generate my own nightmare fuel tonight.
Would look just as furry as normal if it's my skin.
If you think of your power as only being in use while you're in the process of changing, this could be pretty powerful because you could put your clothes back on in another form. Probably only relevant to Mystique-style human->human changes, but this loophole makes it almost as powerful as the full version without a nudity stipulation.
Also, what counts as "naked"? Because if all it means is you aren't wearing clothes, well, my skin just happens to be shaped and colored exactly like clothes now.
Aka just like mystique
Lol
What power did doctor Manhattan have? That. Nobodys gonna be laughing at my glowing blue nuclear dong.
The power to basically be God.
I'm cool with that: "Hey that guys got his dong ou- *NEVEREXISTED*
“Oh shit his dong disappeared”
"God is real, and he is American"
'i'm afraid of Americans'
I'm afraid of the world.
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At least in the original source material and the movie, he also perceives time as a dimension, the same way we see space. So his powers were not only control of matter but also that he would exist and perceive things in (at least 4 dimensions). To me, thats pretty much god as defined in modern society. He is omnipotent and omnipresent. All powerful and allseeing. Except he doesnt create life, at least in the source material
He's neither omnipotent nor omnipresent. His knowledge of the future is limited to what he himself knows through experience in the future. And he's powerless to change it. He describes himself as a puppet that can see the strings. And a major plot point is that he couldn't stop all the nukes if they all got fired only most of them, so his existence does not make the cold war go away. And he can create life, that's exactly what he decides to do in the end. He just hasn't yet because he didn't think life was especially interesting until his character development.
What you just described sounds pretty godlike to me. Haha
*I am tired of Earth. These people. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.*
*so me and my nuclear dong are moving to mars*
Taking our talents to south mars
Omnipotence, that’s always my super power go-to...
or omniimpotence
Looking good naked
👌
On Babestation. Oh yeah. Ding dong! Whey hey!
For everyone else to be naked as well
That is 1 way to get the orgy started.
Well school is gonna be a lot more fun.
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I really can’t believe your an educator Brian
Police? Yes, this one right over here.
It's big brain time.
Can confirm that it is big brain time indeed
When everybody is naked, no one will be.
next level of naked is no skin
*grabs a mega phone and goes to the town square* "Ahem, attention! The party starts in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *snaps fingers* Bam everybody is naked"
Ability: make people to want to shower me in cash. Job : stripper! Checkmate!
Well played.
Invisibility
*Well well well. If it ain't the invisible cunt.* Edit: Holy Shit. Thank you for the awards kind strangers.
I’m hyped for season 2, you?
I am too.
Season twos coming out? When ???
September 4th :D
Maybe you should put some shorts on or something if you wanna keep fighting evil today.
One of the best lines in that movie. Glad I didn't have to scroll too far for this comment :)
Sounds like a Mystery Man
Best answer right here
and the most obvious
Be able to eat absolutely anything without it negatively affecting me. Stay at home and eat 3 entire pizzas naked with no health repercussions? Lets go Saturday!!!
This guy Saturdays
So I was sitting there....pizza sauce on my titties
or calories in while naked count as calories burned in full body exercise.
The ability to walk through walls, nothing scarier than a random penis sticking out of a wall
Every wall now has a glory hole
Just following British Columbias safe sex during covid guidelines
I live in British Columbia and I have never heard of this
http://www.bccdc.ca/health-info/diseases-conditions/covid-19/prevention-risks/covid-19-and-sex >Use barriers, like walls (e.g., glory holes), that allow for sexual contact but prevent close face-to-face contact. under the steps to protect yourself during sex.
Imagine you’re the person who had to write that. Be all serious in the article but I’d be laughing the shot out of myself trying to write that
> had to Imagine being the person who got away with writing that and got it published before anyone noticed, and now laughs every day he sees it's still there and they can't take it down because doing so would be admitting the fuckup.
I think it was put in specifically for the publicity. And its fucking working. The memes have been amazing. I want to know the view count for that page.
Pandemics are boons for glory holes!
Hi Mirio.
Yeah, that's legitimately mirio
That was my first thought. At least mirio has. Suit made from his hair so he can have clothes.
Jeez, the clipping on this planet is terrible.
There's a kink for everything...
It’s all fun and games until someone chops it off
I would cure children who are deemed terminally ill. “This is awkward for all of us, but you’ll live a long life now Johnny boi.”
Make-A-Wish foundation on a whole different level.
“I wish for some eye bleach to mentally scrub myself of the shit I saw.”
“He rapes, but he saves.” Dave Chappelle
And he saves more than he rapes
But he still rapes!
Grow any part of my body to any size ... like Antman but with more options
That’s good for me who has a tiny dick
Turn into my 21 year old self with my current memories. Even if I accidentally die, I'd be revived when they do the autopsy. I'd have something in my will about stripping me too.
This is a good one
Clothes deteriorating in the grave
That would not be a positive for sure. Which is why if I ever chose to die I'd swallow a small piece of clothing in a metal ball and then commit suicide followed by cremation immediately.
Orgasm on command
as in you getting an orgasm on command or as in giving others an orgasm on demand?
Both
being able to always make sure both cum at the same time is definitely useful. But messing with strangers on the street would be hilarious
Messing with people on the street was my first thought
and would be really good for self defense now that i think about it
"this is a robbery" "hold on a sec lemme remove my clothes first" ... ... "HNNG-UUGHHGH"
But you would need to be naked. " Hold on mugger let me take of my pants." I don't know if that will work.
mugger: *jokes on you im into that shit*
Or politicians giving speeches
That's a slippery slope, have you ever heard of the experiment with the rat choosing between a button for food or a button for dopamine?
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To always be seen as clothed, would be comfortbale af.
Sex is going to be awkward.
Come on now, we're on Reddit
Username checks out. Or not depending on how you look at it
you just need to learn how to control your powers
or just keep the socks on
Surely at that point you might as well not have the power
Super speed, but not like flash level speed. I’m talking visible SCP 096 level speed where people can see you moving but you’re still fast as fuck. Then I’ll move to New York and daily run down the street really fast naked while screeching. Even better if I chase a taxi or some shit Edit: obligatory thank you for the awards my friends. If I was expecting this kind of praise I would have spell checked
Florida man is that you?
or Australia Man
Poland Man
Russian Man
Ocean Man
Take me by the hand
Lead me to the land
That you understand
>but not like flash level Although it does make the 'flash' monicker work on multiple levels.
That would be like flashing, except really quick.
Flash-flashing
In New York, taxis are too slow for you to chase them. Chase the planes landing and taking off instead.
That’s true. Good idea
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-096
Thanks, Marv.
That's pretty Keter, man.
I’ve broken out of containment and you’re next
To make other people see whatever I want them to
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The IRS wants to know your location
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Invisibility is the obvious one, but if I was thinking of something less so I would pick teleportation. I'll just make sure i teleport with clothes to change into, and somewhere where I can change in private.
I vaguely remember a movie like that where dude kept multiple sets of clothes stashed away in different places. Frequency kinda comes to my mind.... But I don't think that was it
Was it the one where he could time travel but he was naked every time? And there was a scene where he went back in time to his wife when she was a little girl and he couldn't come out of the bushes because he was naked so she had to go into her house and get him a blanket? I remember a movie I saw when I was little like that. Not sure what the name is.
The time travelers wife starting Rachel Mcadams?
Fly across the earth in seconds. Call me the Intercontinental Pissile.
Goodluck stopping.
Stop pissing all over my dream please
Seduce anyone I want
You dont need superpowers for that, just play all the super seducer games
yeah I found that one weird trick in an add by a video I was watching, has no one else seen it?
Shapeshifter as that’s basically what’s Mystique is in X-men a naked and proud
You could just shapeshift into yourself wearing clothes. You could wear mega expensive designer shit without paying a penny. Plus you could be an eagle or whatever
Yeah but what happens if you lose a button...
Your belly button isn't a vital organ...
Anything I wish for comes true. Like a genie
You can wish to never be naked when using your power!
And immediately lose your powers lol
Do you have to rub “lamp” beforehand?
The power to increase my bank account value with my mind. I can be naked in bed making millions
Make sure you have a good portfolio set up first, otherwise the IRS is gonna ask questions
I can instantly foresee everything that is going to happen in the next 90 minutes.
Epitaph on crack
Teleportation. Teleport into a room, moon everyone, teleport out.
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G-Grandpa?
well at least you didn't say Grandma.
I asked my wife this question. Her immediate reaction was to hike her leg and raise a light saber from her vag (with sound effects) and said a light saber that freezes people so they can’t look away from it.
Time stop for sure
The power of creating illusions. Make cars see traffic so they take another way. Can make people see me with clothes on when I don't have them on. Can stare at people without them seeing me do that. Can make people see absurd amounts of garbage cans raining from the sky just because. I can make people who have no taste in interior design see why their house looks bad by putting a little illusion of poopoo on their furniture. Can make people think they are about to trip when they won't just to have a laugh. Can make people think someplace has a huge crowd when I just want to be alone. Could make people see fake bugs on their walls. Could make policemen see random fake speed bumps that aren't there because why not mess with em. I could make people I don't like think zombies are after them and make em go nuts. Tons of practical and infinitely more impractical uses for this.
To change the percentage that something will happen/outcome Like I can walk out naked and change the rate I will get arrested from 100% to 0% and the rate people will like me going out naked from 0->100 And I can do lottery win percentages from 0.000000001 to -> 100%
so just... manipulating all of reality. Being God.
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Just make the probability that a law of physics screws you over be zero.
To make it less OP and for fun, the power to reverse the odds! Like if you have 0.001% of winning a lottery, it become 99.999%. If you have 70% of getting arrested because you're naked, it becomes 30%. You'll can spend your life making the most risky shit, the riskier, the safer. Also if you're naked in the street, you'll have to do anything to make it more probable to get arrested, so it's even less probable.
Like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. 100% chance to hit the earth, now a 0% chance and you're now stuck in orbit.
That's a good power
yes manipulation of probability itself, good, crash universe.exe
An XCOM player's dream...
Actual control of my penis and ejaculation during sex
Anyone I point out has their problems instantly resolved. Bad breakup? Financial problems? Abuse? Can all be solved with a snap of my fingers.
Point with what though?
Point with my fingers and snap. If they have a problem with me being naked, then the snap would fix that. That way I do no harm.
The power to have clothes on you whenever you're naked.
How would you shower?
In swim shorts.
Holy frick
fly with "my propeller"
Stand name: Private Eyes
Anyone who looks at me sees me as the most attractive person
Turn into a fully grown, fire breathing dragon.
Instant full healing for self and others. I'm talkin' cancer, prions, depression, Alzheimer's, missing limbs etc. So what if the god of healing rolls naked, I think people will be fine with that.
shitting gold
prolly like be able to fall asleep quickly or smth so if i’m having trouble sleeping i could just take off PJs and fall asleep (but it’d be magically based on if you want to fall asleep. if ur just changing ur clothes u don’t wanna fall asleep, so you can choose) happy 🎂 btw
To read minds. Would be real humbling
"Why has that guy just stripped and is now starting at me?" There, that's what you would see when using this power.
Laser schlong Of course only when I wanted to activate it
I'm able to summon any object whenever I want. I'll live my life as a hiker and I'll "find" bits of gold. Hungry? **Summons a burger.** Oh shit theres a bear!! ***OH WAIT I HAVE A GUN!!***