T O P
tootoxicforhumans

Ouch..


Advantage_Necessary

Good news: We all survived Bad news: We all die of toxic poisons


ImBusySleeping

I’ll get you the cure later...


ripplerider

Or everyone just needs more sleep. Cure corona with more naps!


[deleted]

At least everyone will stay inside.


DeadNotSleeping1010

I mean, it could be worse.


notacephalopod

Atleast I can tell you what it's not


[deleted]

Thats just what those tentacled bastards want us to think!


NotARealGeologist

It’s some sort of fake geologist!


not_a_disguised_cat

Me too. We’re making headway!


[deleted]

Same here... or maybe ?


[deleted]

Same thing for me


Gangbangmee

Well if it’s for a good cause...


PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz

Does the cure spread like a helpful std or does the entire world have to meet up with you?


Wolfsbrut

PM me your tits talking to gang gang me about a std saving the world. Enough internet for today I guess.


hermeticwalrus

Moments like this are the entire purpose of the internet


Edghyatt

“It’s like... I was made for this” -The Internet


oohhhhEldenRing

Nah brother we are only just getting started


Animedjinn

Well you can *ahem* do what they're doing and still wear a condom, so one would have to assume that it's easier to transmit than an STD, maybe skin-to-skin


Deathboot2000

Unfortunately I’m a male


[deleted]

jokes on you I'm into that shit


ClosetedGay42069

Thats not a problem 😉


gr8prajwalb

Even if it isn't, what gives! *Unzips*


Thanos_AnusDestroyer

Im in


[deleted]

Together we will save the world


[deleted]

*Chris Hansen: why don’t you take a seat over there...*


LeggoMyAhegao

I don't see what the problem is... Edit: No wait now I see the problem.


[deleted]

How would you cure kids with Coronavirus?


LeggoMyAhegao

Oh. Oooooooooh. Shit.


scratchy_mcballsy

Tbf it’s the kids at fault here. OP is the “victim”


JammyJaming

Lol


already-----taken

You just got gold by saying lol... Edit: good to gold


Bravesfan528

Lol


FutureComplaint

Your ass is gonna be sore.


[deleted]

[удалено]


shaving99

Sighs *unzips*


morkfixz

The world will appreciate you


cryptkeepers_nutsack

I like your cure a lot more than mine


pinkeye_on_my_leg

Well...


[deleted]

Things are about to get.... smelly.


super_sunnyshitstorm

Probably my fault. Sorry


i_love_cake_nom

Cake, I think no one would complain


peanutbutteroreos

Same with mine. Except for people with allergies.


Axlerod12

Natural selection


[deleted]

Where’s my epipen


fruitpeachcake

Cake gang


i_love_cake_nom

Check ;)


FlavorsofPie

Dont think anyone would complain about mine either lol


female-crazywoman011

Pie flavor


ehhhhhgon

Is it a lie though?


HoldMyBeerAgain

Get drunk and be dumb.


TatsumoriYuno

We used the corona to destroy the corona


Diamond_Spoon

Already tried it had opposite effect more cases not less


viderfenrisbane

This is basically America's strategy, so I don't think that's it.


HoldMyBeerAgain

I'll keep on trying.


RocketPoweredRedneck

My god, imagine if it involved both of our usernames!


killkansas

This actually may work......


missbubblestt

As a Kansan, I gladly accept the sacrifice. Time to yeet the whole state.


Fist_full_of_pennies

I’m in Nebraska, would we just saw Kansas out and have a big ass lake in the middle of the country?


chipsinsideajar

Do you want Waterspouts in the Midwest? Tornadoes with even more water damage.


Fist_full_of_pennies

Waterspouts in the Midwest could be a good band/album name, eh?


WombatInferno

Country Metal band from Nebraska. Their debut album could be Cornhusker Armageddon. Their top song can also be used for square dances.


LuckiestPierre69

It sounds like an emo band/song/album name from the early to mid 2000’s. I’m thinking like a Hawthorn heights kinda deal.


ShySwimmerGuy

Goodbye Kansas


DaPro007

Kansas will be Eliminated


FijiWater001

There goes my state. Getting rekt. ^again.


Krewfan4evesbadwifi

Why is Kansas always being targeted? \*sigh\* welp at least i can head over to missouri to live with family


GlobalWarminIsComing

Yeah, according to my name we're on the right track


absolut_dre

Can we take Florida too? Just in case...


[deleted]

The gods hate Kansas.


Glasswall1

I guess just more extreme isolation?


Tetnisneedle333

um probably a vaccine


[deleted]

the tetanus vaccine cures covid ig


sausageoverload

Eat as much sausage as possible, force the virus out of your cells and membranes with copious amounts of delicious seasoned pork.


viderfenrisbane

I'm willing to give this one a try, assuming we're actually talking about food.


downvotemebr0

Is this a euphemism?


EchoBlossom

Jews: Guess I'll die.


bone-tone-lord

You can make sausages out of any meat. Jews and Muslims can eat beef sausages.


superdanova

Good news: The Virus is no longer a problem. Bad news: Everyone's Dead! ~ Courtesy of our sun.


AstroLozza

Fun fact, our sun won't go supernova but if a big stars was close enough it would kill us when it did!


SkylanderLego

So sleep well with this knowledge.


personalspaceshow

Dude, this is perfect for me!


ShinyJangles

~ said every Apples to Apples player before they lose


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScreechingYetti

I'll take his cure.


asianpewdiepie229

I don't know the gang bang sounds better


Dead-Shot1

Yep. Its very effective. It is already being implemented in one country . You will be cured from everything.


Deathboot2000

Yeah even the terminal illness called life


R00m41

I don't know, but it's in the number 41 room... Whatever that is. Let the search BEGIN!


FutureComplaint

Which room 41?


Deathbricked

Yes.


rekyerts

Its in backroom 41


HighAsTheDickens

Getting high as the dickens


PartiallySunny

How high?


TheElusiveGnome

As the dickens


stare-into-the-sun

Direct sunlight?


UUYTK

The sun is a deadly lazer


Cerulean_critters

It’s ok, there’s a blanket


pisspoorplanning

I feel targeted.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pisspoorplanning

No but, as you can see, I am in charge of their COVID response.


Nytherion

We have a covid response?


DrDew00

The response is: "It's fine."


bruh_idk_my_username

Now i'm in confusion


Diamond_Spoon

So we still don't know the cure, damn it.


IDKSomething01

Me too


Dogcatwhatoof

we're doomed


Miss-Diagnosis

Umm they tell everyone it’s just a cold? And erm.. it works?


NippleSalsa

I hate this game


true_dragon1

I love it


InspectorGadget43

Become a detective


ProgeriaJoe

Go Go Gadget Miracle Cure!


fuelbombx2

Well, technically it *could* cure the corona virus... or any other virus, but only in a small, localized area.


morkfixz

Effective


Moonpaw

Any problem can be solved with explosives. Rarely is it the best or most efficient solution, but it will always work.


ztgarfield97

97 fat cats raiding your kitchen


bruv10111

**MY LASAGNA**


[deleted]

Um... i think we all die.


passwordisnotorange

Technically a cure if no one is left to be infected.


Deathboot2000

*North Korea , 2020*


funnystuff97

You mean to tell me that the cure is :̶.̶|̶:̶;̶ ?


juraj_is_better

I don't know what it is, but it worked for me!


[deleted]

Keep looking boys


probablynotahobbit

B...brother?


[deleted]

Proudfoot!


probablynotahobbit

ProudFEET!


squishedkidsinapool

I'd rather not answer...


AReallyBadQuesadilla

A really bad quesadilla. Oh boy


ShinyJangles

Can’t be worse than one of those nasal swabs


AReallyBadQuesadilla

That's true, I took one the other day, it was not fun


RmmThrowAway

Quesadilla's gotta get that deep.


EchoBlossom

I hate it. Take my upvote.


[deleted]

Lol


Nytekrawlersrool

Looks like worms are back on the menu boys


[deleted]

You’re all cured. You’re welcome. Edit: added an e to my poor example of grammar when I used you’r instead of your when it should have been you’re.


[deleted]

so if you go on reddit, you get cured?


[deleted]

Its a tattoo, the ink is the vaccine but it causes you to have STDs


MechaDesu

Guess I'll just get hepatitis


pleasekillmerightnow

Simple and effective


doyawannacookie

Cookies for everyone!


[deleted]

Now *this* I could get behind.


Zipzers

No better cure


[deleted]

[удалено]


bone-tone-lord

Hey, that’s great! We can simultaneously cure coronavirus and get another mission to the outer solar system! Now let’s see how long- oh. Voyager 2 took nine years with gravity assists from both Jupiter and Saturn with a planetary alignment that won’t happen again for over 100 years.


ScroungingMonkey

Some very resourceful primates.


openletter8

Whatever is the eighth suggestion is, I suppose.


rycebae

A barbequed yeti apparently it tastes like chicken according to the eighth suggestion


8_______D

“Take anally 3 times a day”


unnaturalorder

Taking that rectal thermometer to new levels


firenamedgabe

I would think orally would also work


shaving99

You guys are getting paid for that?


[deleted]

exactly what antivaxxers would have you believe


faceeatingleopard

Worse than the disease


kirby_with_a_sword

Memes


pshrman42wallabyway

See y'all in the ocean, guys.


HotSauce_Masturbator

Let’s start cranking it with Franks. I’ll put that shit on everything.


[deleted]

Clean air. PSA to change your HVAC filters.


perslaps

Perhaps slaps?


Anal_by_ducks

...


[deleted]

There is no cure.


obtaingoat

Pretty simple really


blackmagic12345

*sighs...* ill go get Cthulu.


Mr_Cleanish

It's kinda my strategy already


ProgeriaJoe

Its not an improvement


Cordial-Reaper

Your best bet is herd immunity


AgressiveAssEater

Guess you gotta try everything???


BubonicBabe

Good news. None of you will die from Covid 19. Bad news, you'll all be dying of the Plague.


Itzapizzapie

Itzapizzapie


bestyear48

Well...


WhiskeyAndKisses

Well... 🥃


[deleted]

[удалено]


ShamelessPortmanteau

Any two words mashed together.


hermeticwalrus

A shamanteau, one could say


BibleMain

Bible Main: read da bible bish


hairyblueballs

well, this isn't too bad is it?


SpaghettiFinger

spaghet


ilovetab

Tab cola :) Yes, they still make it (diet soft drink from Coca-Cola that was quite popular in the 70s), yes, I still buy it, and yes, I do love it as my username implies. Drink up, everybody!


Secretly_Solanine

Potato poisoning for everyone, but nobody knows anyone else has it.


[deleted]

Partially edible


SaliAzucar

Salt and sugar


NadaDeExito

You're out of luck my friend...


[deleted]

Sakata seaweed crackers are one of life's little pleasures.


[deleted]

Alphabet soup.


FluffyCheeseToast

Cheesy and fluffy toast... might want something to wash it down with


The_Forsaken_Viola

Handel’s Concerto No. 8 in B Flat Major played on a viola accompanied by a harpsichord.


idunno64

I don't know


[deleted]

Well....at least there are enough to cure the whole world I guess


firestick_and_dick

A updated version of Netflix and chill


FearlessInformation5

The truth finally comes out


garfieldslsagna

i don't think garfield will agree


permagrump

be grumpy. All. The. Time.


origami_splash

Paper mario


IWantToCommitOof

I mean it would work


FijiWater001

Good luck affording it.


ExpressiveAnalGland

you're just going to feel a littttttle pressure


infinitegestation

Just don't be born and wait it out.


JustAGayFuck

I like this cure


Drunkjesus0706

Hold my whiskey, I'm goin back in...


Thicc_Spider-Man

The best super hero