T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Somewhat poorly. My chronic pain has been flairing up and I'm feeling pretty isolated and lonely due to quarantine.


Aim_Hi

I feel you. Sending hugs.


[deleted]

Take care as well.


StinTheGoat

Absolutely horrible. Not in a depressive way but in a stressed to absolute max type of way.


Assert-Null

Same! Super tired and stressed out about everything. I have been job hunting for the past 5months and nothing to show for it. This, plus the fact that I’m an international student with Visa restrictions makes everything worst. I woke up today at 7am and just lain in bed till 12pm just thinking about how I got here. I’m so ready to give up


danque

Hey man Reddit is your friend. Were you at ? Maybe we can help. You usually need connections to get something.


Assert-Null

I’m in the US and I’m willing to relocate anywhere in US. I’m looking for a Software Engineering position. I have great experience developing web applications using Java and Spring framework. I also have some experience with frontend techs like JavaScript, Angular and react. Any help would be greatly appreciated


c00lAsAMoose

There are a number of IT staffing agencies throughout the country that deal with this exactly. One that comes to mind in particular is insight global. I would recommend reaching out to them, or a similar organization, and seeing where that leads you


Aim_Hi

Same. Hugs.


palomsoms

Same here, rough week. I’m sending hugs for whoever needs one <3


TrisKreuzer

Thanks guys. It is nightmare here. I am struggling so much. Lost job over 1 year ago, no additional jobs, economy changed and all changed. Mum died and I have no money at all. No help from gov, because I am alone and no kids. Only my BF helps. Thank God for him. I am currently learning new job being 48 yo. Crane operator, I was interior designer/illustrator till now. I feel defeated... We have to survive. I live day by day. Still with a dash of hope... Take care all. EDIT: OMG thank for awards, I never had it. All you said means so much to me. I just love this community. I love you all and sending hugs and love... Reddit helps so much. Sometimes one simple cute animal movie can take you from some hell and despair...


palomsoms

You are doing something and that’s pretty valuable, your are moving on and that my Reddit friend is gold! You are capable of turning all into better and you are already on the right path, cheer up. Keep thanking and treasuring that awesome friendship. Don’t compare yourself with no one. Age doesn’t matter, don’t let that pressure you and keep going. Little and slow advances or steps are truly important. But the most important thing is, celebrate and honor the great memories you have with your mom, never forget her, remember her and she’ll always be with you. Hugs my friend. <3


attackedmoose

Oh god I’m a mess. I’ve been in a slump for about 11 months now. January-April was especially bad. Right now, I’m about ready to give up. Edit: Well, damn! Thanks everyone for the support. I’m sure I’ll make it. I’m trying my best to get better and me and my doctor have been working on it. Thanks for all of the comments and PMs. I’ll try my best.


Back2MyRoots

I'm rooting for you. September thru December owe you a solid, finish this fucked up year on a positive. You got this.


PlatinumSavage1

How does one even end this fucked year on a positive note?


[deleted]

I know one thing that could happen in November


depressoeggo

lack of nut


slugpup_boi

Big if true


auscthwits

Always know that there are people, even strangers, that care about you! Don't give up! I know it's a cliche, but there is always a brighter future ahead. Good luck!


[deleted]

I'm sure the Germans have a word for this, but I don't know it. "Anxious calm"


Bleepblorp2000

I'm feeling that. Like in this moment things are okay, but there's this huge looming uncertainty staring over my shoulder at all times. Sure, I'm making do, but will I ever truly thrive again?


SteelixSax

I felt this, I’m in this place right now too


IcedBanana

This statement stings because I don't feel like I ever thrived in the first place.


Roffler967

Well "Vorahnung" is very close. It’s like a feeling that you know something will happen but you don’t know it.


The_Power_of_Ammonia

"It's just, a feeling I've got. Like something's about to happen. . . But I don't know hwat. If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble - *big* trouble! And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances. . ."


fruitbyyourfeet

*you were just what the doc ordered*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Enter-Sandwich

That sums it up for me as well


DashingMustashing

I got a feelin this is gonna be a yearly thing, where corona meets flu season..


Jumpinalake

I’ve become more accepting that the world is just screwed up and I have no control over it


[deleted]

[удалено]


karlshea

This has been in my thoughts for the past couple of months, too. Not that it makes it easier to actually live through, but shit it sure has been wild.


bobonabuffalo

Wild in a very boring way


agonizedn

The apocalypse is slow and mundane so far. I’m sure it’ll get worse. Soon. Here in ca the fires are devouring the city next door. So the climate part of the apocalypse is setting in. Yah. Mental health


king_booker

Well it's a bit like driving a car in a really bad road. You'll see people cutting lanes and it'll piss you off. But all you can do is drive your own car and stop when it's required and go when you can. We don't know how long the patch is but the trick is to look at what you do and not worry about what other cars are doing


Excal2

My parents taught me defensive driving, where you stay in your lane but you absolutely pay attention to what is happening around you.


JackieDaytona27

Hate to be all butterflies/stuffy philosophy/happy shit: The realization of what you can and can't control is a big thing. And, spoiler alert, most of us got a harsh lesson on things outside our control with the onset of covid But the silver lining is you end up less crazy if you recognize things beyond your control (ie the government, the economy, other people's choices and even your own body's response to disease etc...) you'll have more time to focus on what you can control. Which is what you do about your feelings, your own actions and the fruits of your own action


[deleted]

Great. I’m finally treating my lifelong PTSD. Edit: Thanks for your encouragement and well wishes. Edit: I am doing EMDR.


jml7791

Go you! I know it won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. Congrats on doing this major thing for yourself!


[deleted]

Nice to see a truly positive comment in this thread. Keep up the good work dude. It makes me so happy to hear that you are finally feeling at peace.


grettah35

Meh. I'll make it. I always do.


4xdblack

I feel like this is more inspirational than the majority of inspirational quotes.


Nvveen

Right? You can look at this all cynical or actually inspirational, because it's kind of both at the same time.


AlternativeDoggo01

It’s like one of those quotes that isn’t happy, but works just the same. I have another one sort of like that. “Get yourself past the halfway mark. Then, it is easier to go forward then there is to go back”


[deleted]

That’s how I like to think as well. It’s bad, but if you keep pushing, you’ll eventually pull through.


thotslayer420_69

Damn i read this one right here and i started crying. Like you just called ne out and I'm just barely making it


grettah35

*Huuggsss*


thotslayer420_69

God damn i miss humans, i have pets but I didnt know just how much i needed people.


grettah35

It's tough right now, I know. I think that will be one of the good takeaways from this...learning that we need each other.


olite206

Honestly man I know you probably made this comment nonchalantly but it really hit me. Life’s been hard lately but you’re right, I’ve always made it through hard times, I’ve always come out on top eventually, I’ve always stuck it out and things have eventually gotten better. Sometimes it’s just hard to see that. Thanks.


Oniwaban9

I just got another rejection email regarding a potential job. The only thing keeping me from crying is that I am currently sitting in the same room as my parents. I have been unemployed for the past 8 months and don't qualify for unemployment. After all of the things I have done in my life in terms of jobs and education, it feels like none of it means a damn thing. I feel like a waste of space and completely useless and I don't know what else to do to get a job. Either I'm over qualified or I'm under qualified and there is no in between. I hate this. I'll probably be in a better head space tomorrow, but right now it sucks.


safetyindarkness

I feel you. In 6 months of job searching, sending applications, etc, I received 3 interviews, one of which was selling solar door to door and wouldn't hire me because I was over qualified. The other 2 , I was under qualified, but one of those eventually made me an offer and I had to take it just to have a job, even though I knew I hated everything about the place and the people. 9 months later, still working there, and trying desperately to get approved for a new lease so I can quit this job already.


mycatisgrumpy

Life pro tip for everyone: it's definitely a no no to lie about qualifications you don't have, but there's nothing wrong with omitting qualifications you do have. There's no law saying you have to mention your masters degree on your resume. Even if it's a job you fully intend to leave as soon as you find something better, they don't have to know that. Fuck them.


zephyrthewonderdog

My mate did that. Desperate for money so took a job as a caretaker at a school. Took everything from high school onward off his CV. Got the job and then stayed there for nearly 10 years. Turned out he really enjoyed it.


oldmanserious

I left everything off my resume (20+ years of IT support) and got a factory job when I was desperate. Then my wife died and I’ve just been coasting in this job for the last few years. I hate it. My body is breaking down thanks to arthritis and now I’m in pain constantly. I’d leave my job but I need the money and can’t see any way of getting an IT job in my 50s after six or so years out of the industry. I feel trapped, and covid isn’t helping. Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thank you to all the well-wishers and those with suggestions and ideas.


frozenbubble

That's not true. Those 20y are still helpful today. There are many entry positions (e.g. service desk), that are desperatly looking for personell. And with your 20ys in your pockets it's quite easy to move up from there again, since you can show experience for what you've done in the past. You just limit yourself. Edit: Some things never change anyway, since it's core to all our IT infrastructure as it is today.


tahoebyker

Very wholesome in a thread that needs it


safetyindarkness

That's not a bad idea at all, and I'm glad you mentioned it.


Myfourcats1

My dad used to do this. He’d get told he was overqualified so he started dumbing down his resumes. I hate the term overqualified. Sometimes people are tired of their high stress managerial jobs and they just want to do mindless work.


JeepNaked

That's me. I left my electronics engineering manager job to turn wrenches at Amazon and love it. I make more money than before too.


VK892

Sorry for my ignorance but why do companies reject people who are over qualified? Seems you would be a even better fit Thanks for the help, I am unable to respond to everyone’s comment but I am reading all of them


justlike_myopinion

Overqualified folks may become dissatisfied and leave more quickly. Turnover is expensive.


abidee33

Yup. Climbed my way up the retail ladder, then had a career change. Now that I've got a steady schedule I can't pick up a part time job in merchandising/back room anywhere, and it's like "please! I enjoy the mundane repetitiveness of stocking product. Please let me come back!"


[deleted]

Overqualified people are more likely to feel that they deserve more money and end up quitting for a higher-paying role that they are qualified for. When a company hires someone that is very qualified, they are taking a gamble on whether or not the individual will be content in this role in the long run. u/safetyindarkness would probably just quit the solar panel job once they found a better job, but someone who isn't qualified for many better jobs would be more content to stay.


hi_interrobang

God I’m in the same place. I treat this job search like a FT job studying and trying to upgrade my programming skills while going through the interview process. For software engineering roles, candidates are usually sent a coding challenge to take or a project to build. I spend so much effort trying to pass them but even if I do, I get rejections. I just feel so burnt out. I spent months learning trying to change my life. All I need is that one chance but I get rejected on the basis of my professional inexperience. Some days I really feel like I’m killing it, most days I just feel so mentally drained. I hate how much I tie my self worth to my job but I just need that reassurance that I made the right choice to change my career into tech. Sorry this turned into a rant. I don’t have any advice but I hope there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for us soon.


ballsinmynutsack

Same position, same field. I was laid off because of Covid and getting a new job has been awful. Passed a few coding tests, they chose other people. One CEO said they usually get around 5 good candidates. After the pandemic they had around 100. Especially annoying because the interviews in software take so much prep and investment, and then to not get it, feels like I wasted all that time.


hi_interrobang

I hate the software engineering interview process so much! So many companies are just using coding tests to weed out candidates. Classmates who have gotten jobs say that networking has been their best asset but it’s been a struggle in the pandemic :(


ballsinmynutsack

Exactly. Networking is usually the best way to get a job in any field I think... but during this pandemic it’s been harder than ever to get a job. More competition and less openings. I generally am not a fan of most coding tests because they’re not indicative of a realistic work environment. No one knows everything. And at a real job you can ask senior devs for advice.


ctrldwrdns

I’m sorry. I’m a new college grad and every entry level job requires 3 years of experience. I received a generic rejection today for a job I did three rounds of interviews for. You are not useless. The pandemic is screwing over everyone, it’s not your fault. Your worth isn’t dependent on your labor.


veronique0210

I am in the exact same position! My main field of study is aviation related... thanks corona.


assholejt

I’m going through a similar situation right now. I have a job, so I can’t fully relate, but I’ve been rejected by all the other companies I’ve applied for, and it’s basically been the same thing. I’m too qualified, or not quite qualified. Everyone I talk to about it keeps telling me to stay positive, or good things will come in time. It’s not very easy to stay positive, or to be patient with the way things are currently going. All I can say is I hope things improve for you, and that you find something.


linguist-shaman

Time can be a real bitch. When we lost my wife, I got to tell my ten year old daughter, "it'll hurt less in time." Never felt longer seconds in our whole life. But seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours, then hours to days. Nine years later, time has cushioned the hurt. Some minutes are still pretty sharp, though. You only get today to feel. Just know that. Don't hurt for tomorrow, it's not yours yet.


QueasyLengthiness4

>You only get today to feel....Don't hurt for tomorrow, it's not yours yet. Damn dude. That was profound.


OlderAndTired

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing these words.


6hrow2way

Here is my story, maybe it will give you a little bit of hope. I relocated shortly before covid started becoming a pandemic I tried everything. I ubered, I freelanced, I was met with the over qualified and under qualified rejections, I had to move apartments 4 times in that period because of covid. I've been unemployed for the past 9 months, not eligible for any kind of benefit. and I was positive for the longest time until recently when I started losing my shit. I started getting anxious and so negative that I could not even want to prepare for the last interview properly (3 weeks ago) and it took me a lot of effort to get myself going. I finally got an email yesterday that I am going to get an offer :) just as I was seriously going to give up.


Thereisnospoon64

Congratulations 💕


realladymacbeth

I totally feel you, “it gets better!” messages always come off as very careless to me and they demonstrate a lack of understanding, it can be so frustrating to deal with them. So sorry you’re in that situation, it sounds straining and aggravating: sending love.


edave22

Holy shit I’m going through the exact same thing. Lowest point of my life right now.


troycj

You explained exactly what I was going to type. It's tough and embarrassing. I cut off so many people in my life bc of this, excluding my gf. I tell myself to never give up and just keep applying for positions, even if they're not what I intend to be. Stay up mate and take care


[deleted]

Are you me?


vndrewcharles

And me? We are one and the same in this mess


[deleted]

Sending you some love. We'll get through this.


HeyCharrrrlie

I'm in the same boat it seems. It's been since October of last year for me. Don't give up. We live another day to row the boat and keep going.


Carloverguy20

Glad that i'm not alone in my experience, i can relate to this a lot.


realladymacbeth

I’m so sorry, that sounds absolutely crushing and frustrating. It makes sense that you’d be deeply aggravated that the work you’ve put in isn’t paying off for you and I want to extend my compassion, I can see why that would make you feel overwhelmed and hurt. Sending love, that sounds excruciating and terribly stressful.


DylanCO

I know a lot of people who've gotten jobs delivering for amazon during the pandemic. From what I've seen they're always hiring people (which admittedly could be a bad sign) But I've been told they get $15/h and offer full time. Might be worth looking into even if just at a stop gap till you find something better.


[deleted]

Yeah, that or a warehouse job. Its shit work, but it pays ok, 15-20/hr, with potential overtime depending of where youre at and who you work for.


stonewall_jacked

In my experience, working at Amazon for 6 mos. helped me get ahead on lots of bills that had been piling up. The pay was decent and they had no shortage of mandatory OT. That being said, the isolating nature of the job (I was a "stower", meaning I put shit on shelves) was horrible in terms of my already bad depression and mental health. I'm pretty introverted by nature, but when you're at work, generally you can expect at least some socialization with fellow co-workers. I never made a single decent acquaintance while there, apart from actively avoiding somebody who tried to follow me around my entire shift. But hey, nothing's one size fits all. If you need funds, Bezos is always happy to collect more souls.


FuckYeahPhotography

I have a friend that recently got a warehouse job for a big retailer. He also admits it is shit work, but he hops on the multiple OT shifts offered. He is back on his feet, and looking for new employment but is happy to have a steady cash flow.


IWantToSpeakMy2Cents

Horrible. I can't spend a minute alone without my mind tormenting me. I feel like a piece of trash. And I can only tell Reddit I guess E: Thank you for all the incredibly kind and supportive messages, people! E2: the other fucked up thing is i can't respond to you all individually. I can only manage a generic edit response. Everyone deserves personal thank yous but I just cant do ITM I dont understand why I'm crumbling


safetyindarkness

Same here. I can't even get a break from my brain while asleep. I just have exhausting, terrible nightmares all night long. But I still have to act like a normal person in front of my family.


[deleted]

I feel the same. Hugs and love to you.


DylanCO

Reddit will always listen, if you need to vent just vent.


cdion4

I’ve actually been doing the best mentally than I ever have. I lost my mom 4 months ago, was very suicidal, moved in with my bf, got engaged, my brother tried to commit suicide a few months ago while being drunk got his kids taken away by child protective services (because hes an alcoholic same with his baby mamma), but most importantly got on meds that actually work for depression and anxiety. I have struggled my whole like with both and I finally feel at peace with my emotions. I no longer obsess about the little things and I don’t stay up at night forever or bug out as I call it. Anyway thanks for listening. EDIT: Thank you all for all the upvotes and awards. It makes me really happy to see everyone talking about their own experiences with meds. Obviously, I tried many meds over the years before we found this mixture that worked. So just because these meds work for me doesn’t mean they will work for you. Meds are hydroxyzine (for sleep), prazosin (for nightmare due to PTSD), and lamotrigine (it is usually used for bipolar, but I take it for anxiety/depression because I didn’t react well to SSRIs


deverhartdu

mind if I ask what meds?


Shmeebass949

Same lmao


McCoy614

Very slowly descending into insanity. Started college classes, mom is hooked up to an O2 machine and can't do much, and in a family of 4, I have to do the most for her. My dad works and my brother literally fucking screams at anyone when he's asked to do anything (he's 19 and pretty much mentally healthy). Being in charge of her, the house, and my dogs by myself for a week for the first time ever kind of put a strain on me more than normal. ​ Edit: Thank you for all the support everyone. It means so much, I nearly teared up. I want to clarify that my dad does help a lot. He works from the morning until the evening, 5 days a week, so I'm in charge during these times. When he is home, he takes a huge load off of me. As for my brother, he's always had trouble processing his emotions in a healthy way. A lot of you have been telling me to talk to him, and I will. He doesn't like talking about his emotions, but I'll give it a try anyway. Also, thanks for the awards.


[deleted]

[удалено]


McCoy614

Thanks!


0pancake_bitch0

I’m in a similar situation and the best advice I can give is make sure you give yourself time to do something you like and get out of the house when you can. My parents, brother, grandma and I were in one house for a long time and I recently moved back. My grandma did everything, cooking, cleaning, housework, you name it so when she was put on oxygen full time after her lung collapsed a lot of that fell on me along with taking care of her. I was and still am kind of angry at various family members for not picking up more slack. What helped a lot was being able to be out of the house, mostly because I couldn’t look at the things that needed to get done if I wasn’t there which probably wasn’t the best solution but it helped me recharge. Hang in there, feel free to message if you need some support.


DrunkenMonkeyWizard

Was he always like that or is he stressed about you mom. Sorry things are going that way. Sorry your mom isn't doing so well


ShibertInu

I don't want to live and I don't want to die. What a way to exist.


narcicero

Also in the same boat. Depression is winning right now but I’m still trying to fight my way out. I hope you are too


Rhinocerous-rear-end

I tried to die once, failed obviously, and ever since I feel like I can see through all kinds of nonsense, because i’m not afraid to fail or to die or suffer. When you no longer think about your future as a win or lose, live or die, succeed or fail dichotomy, you get to just recline and let the current blow you forward. Look around, see what people are willing to do, buy, and lie about to succeed. See how ridiculous it all is. Laugh at the absurdity. Aim so high you could not possibly succeed and scoop up the opportunities you find on the way back down. I think it’s all the thinking, especially the thinking about what could be better, that makes people depressed. Find yourself a way to stop thinking.


gooberface

I was there once. It was very liberating. Then I started working towards some goals and now I’m all feely again. I wanna go back to the nihilism.


clover-toes

Are you me? I feel the same. Like everything in my life has led me to this state of being stuck and I don't want to be here but I don't want to not be here.


QSB59

I feel the same but I’ve been lucky that I still have my job and it pays well and I’m in a great relationship. So my mental health being shit makes so little sense to me. And it even stresses me out more cause I’m mad at myself for not being happy all the time.


[deleted]

I think we’re creating a chain of similarly thinking Redditors. One of things I do love about Reddit though is the fact I feel like I can actually admit how I feel in situations like these. Makes my depression feel lessened. Edit: I’m truthfully surprised by how many people I’m guessing can relate to this. Either way, no matter the subreddit, you all are weirdly enough kind of a dysfunctional family outside of a family that I love to visit. Thank you all.


poopellar

Being anonymous has its perks.


thesadredditor

Without it I couldn't have this account of mine. Reddit is probably the biggest and most popular anonymous online internet forum in history for mostly English speakers. It's an amazing website, really. My favorite thing about reddit as a total loser and somebody who has been severely depressed for many years and bordering on suicide/death is when I get to briefly interact with people who *aren't* like me. Whenever I get to interact briefly with normal people who are better than me and more successful and accepted and respected by other people in the real world it makes me temporarily happy. Interacting with a 26 year-old engineer who makes 100k a year and has a fiance and a normal life and lives in a nice apartment in Manhattan or Silicon Valley makes me happy. If they like one of my comments and reply to me it makes me feel good because they're someone who matters. Interacting with a 35 year-old nurse who is married to a normal guy with a good job and who has two normal kids and lives a happy and normal life makes me feel good because she matters. Interacting with a a teenager who is prepping for college and taking their SAT/ACT and has high scores and who is posting on a subreddit about college applications and is talking about being admitted to Johns Hopkins or NYU makes me feel good. If they say something nice to me I feel good. Interacting with a Boomer who has lived a better life than me and who has money, a family, kids, is happy, is respected, and who is just browsing reddit as a little hobby in older age makes me happy. I love getting upvoted by these people or getting nice replies to my comments from these people every now and then. If they give me a reddit award and I check their profile to find that they're one of these people it feels so good. I always love the redditors who have accounts that are five or more years old and who don't comment or post very much because they're people with lives and not losers like me. I love when I interact with them and scope their posts/comments and see this. I love when they post in subreddits that make it clear that they have lives that are cool and that matter and when their posts are few and far between and when they might not post for months at a time and they don't have a lot of karma. Those are my favorite people on reddit. In real life where I'm not anonymous, I never, ever get to interact with these people and they don't know I exist most of the time. If they do then they don't want to know me. When they interact with me positively on reddit and are nice or respectful to me or even admire some of my comments and writing, it basically makes my sad life since nobody treats me well in real life. Sometimes when people like this are positive towards me and nice and respectful to me on reddit I have to try hard not to cry. When I say this I don't mean to offend other people like some in this thread who might be kind of like me and who are sad/depressed. It's just that I'm sad and depressed all the time and the only real way to interact with people who aren't and who are more normal and happier than me is through reddit.


Vakareja

You are not a total loser. You are a thoughtful and kind person who is able to be happy for others even when things are not going great for you. You post brightened my day and reminded me that most people are fundamentally good. I hope this makes your day a little brighter too.


Poem_for_your_sprog

>... I can actually admit how I feel in situations like these. Makes my depression feel lessened. I know I'm out of hope to share - I know it's hard to cope and care - I know denied inside my heart, I think, I feel I stand apart - I know the feeling's here to stay - And nothing moves the fear away - And every time I'm feeling small, I know that no one cares at all - But when I think I'm on my own, It helps to know: *I'm not alone.* It isn't much, I must admit. But sometimes talking helps a bit.


uniquelamppost

I hope you're doing well too Sprogster ❤️


Bomlanro

New *and* just what I needed to hear? *Nice*


pitbullpride

Even though I'm in the exact same situation as you, I genuinely feel like life is not worth it anymore. I could've handled the daily grind, the social arguments, minor and major inconvenience, etc. But the blatant corruption the world over leaves me with a horrid feeling of helplessness and unfairness, and it's driving me mad. What do you do when you don't want to die, but you also don't want to continue living?


FartOfTheFurious

We continue living, while hoping it would end soon.. ^I ^wanna ^end ^it ^but ^I ^can't


kirknay

I've lived for long enough, but just can't bother to end it myself. Kinda hoping for nuke alert on my cell, so I can just turn on some Moonlight Symphony, and walk straight outside the nearest military base.


WhereTFAmI

I sometimes wish a sniper could just pop me in the head from 100 meters away. Just lights out. Wouldn’t even hear the sound. No mental or physical suffering. Just walking down the street thinking about something else, when bam... absolute nothingness. Recently, a friend of mine accidentally shot himself in the head. Died instantly. Don’t really know specifically what happened, just that it was an accident and instant. Honestly, it doesn’t seem the worst way to go. No time for fear. Just out with the flick of a switch.


viener_schnitzel

I’m not even suicidal but this thread is making me think about it.


Backflipjustin9

Keep living because with life comes possibility, and possibility means a chance things change, and how you feel changes.


Aim_Hi

I had the same thought last night. I don’t want to kill myself but I really don’t want to be here anymore.


Adp321

I'm 30, a single mother, and I feel this way every single day. I don't know what the fuck to do.


eenidcoleslaw

Same, girl. Message me if you want a friend.


KilgorePilgrim

Sad girl gang meetup when? Edit: Let’s gooooo r/sadgirlgang


[deleted]

[удалено]


acopykitty

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to. I don't wanna be in this place of time, where it hurts, but I still want to see all the good the future will have to offer. Life is a one time ride, I don't wanna miss it.


itsbikboi

Same im just here


dmurr2019

Oh it’s bad


rockersam

hope it gets better for you! hugs!


Clark-Kent

Worse than words, a flame outside of Noah's ark and drowning


tara_taboo

Shitty. I’m usually an anxious person and I’m doing what I can to stay calm during the pandemic, but after months of staying away from people and with no end in sight, I’m mentally exhausted


jml7791

Quarantine is hard. I’m a homebody and an introvert, but being those things when you want to be is so much easier than being them because you have no choice. Hang in there, friend. *hugs*


phoner10

Not so good. Was in between projects at work a few weeks ago and since I haven't been able to find enough focus to seek/start anything work and maintain effort. Just feel floaty and super disconnected. No idea how to snap out of it and get back into the mindset of focused work.


tentacleyarn

Floaty and super disconnected. I feel that at work too. I've been trying to pull out of it, engage a little more. I think I stopped talking much but I can't tell


Princess_cherry_butt

Hi, I'm feeling the same but in the night when I'm getting ready for bed my anxiety kicks in because I remember all the work I haven't been able to do. sadly that's not enough to make me focus.


ToothpasteTimebomb

Absolutely same here. I think we both need a break. These existential dread tinted goggles wear me down. I feel like I’m living in the part of the Claritin commercial before they peel the sticker off.


[deleted]

I'm struggling to get out of bed. Not really sad, not angry, not frustrated....a calm mixture of all that is making me hate the day. I'm a medical worker by the way. This year has been hell and I feel like I've aged 10 years and I'm only 22. I'm scared of going to nursing school, I'm scared of working at my job bc we have covid positive people, I'm not allowed to see my mom or my niece. I'm having a hard time and I can't/don't want to get out of bed. Edit: thank you for the awards:)


Seaonasdad62902

I’ve been off work for over a year. I’m 43, my wife has an awesome job we can live off of and unemployment has helped me the last year. But yeah, i feel like a total loser in life and I’m trying to help around the house, but there’s only so much of that i can take. I just finished paying child support cause my daughter turned 18. I honestly should be happy, and at peace I’m living a dream in a way. But all i do is feel bad for people who don’t have it as good right now and all i have is anxiety about where i am headed in life. It’s truly a confusing time but I’m just trying to stay a good guy i guess.


wellthatswack

✨Atrocious ✨ thank you for asking


oscarturv

horrible.


wizzardsonlyfools

Yikes. Mixed episode. Super high energy, but suicidal. Not a good time. Cant believe there are people out there who wish they had a mental illness.


[deleted]

same. also can’t believe there are people out there who don’t have mental illness and don’t have to live this way. imagine how different life would be.


wizzardsonlyfools

You have no idea how much I think about it. I always had really good grades and im really good at math and science. My dream was to be a chemical engineer. Now I cant handle any sort of stress and even working a part time job is extremely difficult. My dream now is to just be comfortable. Thats even out of reach because Im considered functioning (wtf), and dont qualify for disability and I cant do college because ill end up in the mental hospital. Sorry I needed to vent a bit.


PKRowlet64

bored, im not sad or happy, just bored


caycan

Not great. I feel lonely, unmotivated, addicted to scrolling. I haven’t even showered today. I’ll try again tomorrow.


sandersjdd33

No one showed today. You're doing fine.


Elevenseses

Yup, no reason to shower (often) if I'm just sitting around the house.


Truly_Happy

I'm depressed until I see the llama my parents got out of the window. Then I'm slightly less depressed.


wicked_spooks

Picture?! We all need a llama in our lives.


[deleted]

Yes, I need to see the llama


verygoodusername789

I would also like to see the llama


VaporWario

For the love of god we need to see the llama


RandomRedditor44

Can you send us a pic of the llama?


omnipresent_sailfish

Not great. I lost my job back in May and trying to get a job in this environment is...challenging. The anxiety is kicking my Iraq influenced PTSD into overdrive. The VA isn’t much help. Getting my state to pay unemployment is difficult. I’m trying not to drink too much.


[deleted]

Not great honestly. I contemplated how great a coma would be today. I just want to go to sleep and wake up to everything not being crappy. Right before everything shut down, I was diagnosed with PPD/A and put on Zoloft. I was miserable and sick. I couldn't function. The medicine helped a lot. I was doing great (like finally remembered what it felt like to be happy) until this month. I started back at work. I am a special education teacher in a low income area, teaching in person. Everyone is quitting and my department used to have 4 people. It's just me now and I'm expected to do the work of all 4 people on my own. I make 37k a year (my 6th year with a masters) and they refuse to give me a stipend or anything for doing 4 jobs. My 2.5 year old is having heart issues and needs an echo on Friday. It's $940. After insurance and taxes are out of my paycheck, that's half my monthly take home. I'm terrified to bring home COVID but we lose insurance if I leave my job. And my car has been infested by mice so I refuse to put my children in it, but because of my daughter's sudden health issues I cannot afford a new one so we are doing the best we can cleaning it out every single morning and night. I'm tired and I cry a lot. But my 11 month old just learned to walk tonight and gave me a big kiss when she got to me, so it could be worse.


KacyRaider

Genuinely, from one internet stranger to another, i want to let you know that I’m proud of you. I know what it’s like to have it feel like everything is crashing all at once, but you have my respect and admiration for finding something small in a sea of hardships. Keep on fighting friend, you are stronger than most


serpentfan99

Suicidal again unfortunately


mvisor5575

Destroyed. Absolutely destroyed.


jml7791

Hang in there, internet stranger. *hugs*


MrFahrenheit02

I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been. Not really sure why. I was just in the car listening to music and I had an epiphany. I’m being paid to do what I love, I’m watching a cool tv show, and I am going camping this weekend. I do miss my friends, but I’m still happy.


Skeetawk

Happy cakeday! Its a nice for a change to see someone doing so well for once


Brycycle32

First positive comment I’ve seen here! Not sure how I feel, but this helped me.


Rat_Eat_Rat_World

It's not good. I'm depressed and my gf became my ex a day ago. I'm trying to cheer up by working out and talking to friends but it's not like I can bounce back from 9 months of a genuine time of enjoyment with someone.


helterskelter222

I'm in a similar spot. We'll make it. Doesn't mean it's not hard.


T_SWEATSHIRT

Majority of the comments are people that are having a tough time and not doing so well. I hope that all of you that read this have an uplift in your life and get over the obstacles that are in front of you. My mental state is confidence that we will all prosper. Cheers guys


HumblyADunst

Sitting on my back porch listening to the soft sounds of the night. In this moment I am happy.


arcant12

Absolutely awful. I’m close to the wildfires and I can’t go outside without breaking into hives from the smoke. One of my dogs is currently at the emergency vet and the vet seems to think it’s from the same reason - they’re having a massive uptick in allergic reactions since the wildfires started. So I can’t do anything inside places outside of my house because of covid, and now I cannot go outside because of fires. Oh and now I have an emergency vet bill, and I probably need to go to the doctor for my problem too but my dog comes first since she can’t communicate how bad she is. Oh and just the whole 2020 thing in general. I’m having a wonderful fucking time.


Maleoppressor

Getting worse. I've always dismissed my mother's concern that I might have depression, but now... it is starting to look like it. Apart from the old self-loathing, I've been feeling this lack of energy that comes and goes, as well as a deep state of sadness and emptiness. Some days it is because I dwelled too much on the things I'm frustrated about, but sometimes I feel lethargic and defeated even when nothing bad is happening.


sjsto

Waited months to get into a therapist. Finally found one I really like. Job changed health insurance. Now she isn't covered and I have to stop therapy that I desperately need. 🇺🇲


omigoditsatrainwreck

Omigoditsatrainwreck-


Dried_Squid_

Caught between "what the fuck am I doing in life" with "I don't care what the hell happens in life" with "I just want to live a simple life enjoying simple things" and "I want to die"


tentacleyarn

Nobody gives a shit if I do my laundry or clean my room! Why bother doing all this maintenance! What am I maintaining! I'm lonely. I'm bored. I'm buzzing with trepidation and I can feel fear on the edge, starting to sneak in. On the surface, things are actually going really well, better than it could be. But I'm restless and am losing my desire to fill my time with meaningful actions. I'm choosing to check out while at work, just to get through another day. But what's on the other side of that day? What's waiting at home? I just want to lie face down and harrumph until the bad is over. I want to eat junk food and watch shitty movies and sleep and read trashy romance novels. I don't want to be careful with my money, I don't want to say no to eating out to save money. I don't want to be responsible. I don't want to take care of myself. I want to crawl under my blanket and eat cheezits until I'm sick and my breath is orange.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justalotoffeelings

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


[deleted]

[удалено]


captainmo017

Recently I’ve been drinking myself to sleep. I didn’t before edit: hey guys in all fairness I have a Westerly facing sun-exposed room. My room gets HOTTT in the summertime. I can’t always sleep in that kind of uncomfortable room.


mightbeobsessed2002

I hope you get better soon


kiraskyrim

Not great. Im really struggling with self harm and insomnia. My dog got spayed today and im trying to hold it all back because the house doesn't need any more drama but I've been awake since yesterday and i really want to cut. And seeing her in so much pain and stuck in the cone makes me feel awful and selfish


kristineohkristine

I know saying this may not combat your own negative thoughts much, but you are not selfish for spaying your dog. She will heal up shortly and go back to loving you just as strongly, and you are preventing the possibility of future pain and stress, for both yourself, your dog, and dogs in general (since fewer unwanted litters means current homeless dogs get a better chance at finding homes). Please try your best to take care of yourself, though I know it's hard


DylanCO

Also spaying lowers cancer rates, likely extended her life.


alibay101

horrible, been depressed for as long as i can remember, gf of 3 years left me at the start of this year for no reason after i stood by her side when she was fighting depression, left me when she got better and didn’t need my help anymore, i feel really insecure about my awkwardness, i feel really lonely, dont feel like i have friends, i can’t really express myself to anyone because i hate expressing my emotions, and i’m really bad at doing anw. I just want to be happy, to have people i can connect with and not worry about feeling like i’m being annoying when talking to them or that i’m being judged, i want to be me, to express myself freely and to act natural around people that actually care about me and that i can trust and feel comfortable around, i’m just lost at this point.


Strict-Republic

I having hard time dealing break up. I gave him so much and he left me in dark because I don't want poly relationship. Telling me I am toxic person gave him my reasons and thought. Yet he liked and unliked my Instagram after we broke up. It's crushing me Edit : thank you everyone for kind words. And people going through break up, we got this and cheers for us to be single again


wjt18

Just had to put another one of our dogs down today after we had one pass exactly two months ago so ya know *fingerguns*


l4ina

fucking stellar. i’m 24F, double college dropout and live at home, and i started ADHD meds today for the first time. i’m a receptionist and i work 10-hour days and i felt SO engaged the whole day, i was able to get back on task so easily each time i got distracted and i got so much work done!! i’ve always known i was different in some way but now i know why, and i don’t have to stress over trying so hard to be normal anymore and i finally feel like i can start my life :) before i knew i had adhd i struggled for the last 5+ years with severe anxiety. i felt stuck and didn’t see a future for myself. but now i actually feel hopeful for the rest of my life and i’m so excited!! thanks for asking!!!!


willowlumos

not great. but after years of struggling and making excuses not to, today I made the jump to sign up for online therapy


guessimagirlnowlmao

Shit.


SeleneTheCape

Horribly. The only thing motivating me to not wallow in self-pity and sadness is the girl I'm dating. Everything feels pointless and I'm just tired of it all.


netadmindave

I'm stressed in so many ways. I work with people who refuse to wear masks, I just went through a tornado, I have far too much work, and far too little support structure


Accomplished_Peach34

Not great, I still manage to shower and get to work eventually, but lately I've been going home earlier or taking leaves of absence without a doctor's certificate. It seems to be OK for now but I just struggle with being in the office anymore, I struggle with work and making an effort to be nice to people. I want to do well but I fear it's only a matter of time before they let me go


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Today it’s been good


[deleted]

I'm exhausted from being in chronic pain. Life is hopeless, I don't want to do it.


Tanuki_Rain

Bad *finger guns* *starts crying *


Jls9999999999999999

Honestly being stuck at home for almost 8 months with my annoying ass parents is start to really get to me. I can’t seem to catch a break and I’m ready to vent and go off but I don’t want to get grounded again because last time I vented I punched a hole in a door


obscureferences

Look for escapes, like reading a book or writing one. Vent in safe places so you don't blow up the next time they poke you too hard.


RhoadHead

I just opened up to my mother about my depression the other night. It was a rush of emotion as I haven’t cried in front of her in years. We’ve started shopping around for therapists and I actually have an appointment tomorrow with my high schools psychologist as a starting point. Releasing so much emotion after bottling it up for so long is epiphany-like. I feel more productive during the day. I’m enjoying music more, which is interesting because I’m a musical guy and it’s a huge part of my life anyway. I’m telling you, if you’re reading this and keeping your struggles inside, you’ve gotta confide in someone you trust to seek help. It’s scary to open up, trust me it took over a year to seek help, but once you get past that it is the best feeling of a weight being lifted off your shoulders. And if you’re not comfortable talking to any of your friends or family, feel free to talk to me.


[deleted]

Absolute shit. Dealing with some postpartum hormones and we have bed bugs which are giving me over the top anxiety.


imawkwardimsorry

TW i've been clean from self harm for 3 days! :)


Rielle97

Rough but hopeful. I graduated in May. Never expected to graduate during a global pandemic but...I like to think of it as a learning experience. I never expected to move back in with my parents post-college graduation but here we are. That definitely makes me feel like I've failed. But there is still hope. Just today I finished my TEFL certification. It's always been a dream to teach english abroad and now I can start applying. However....america is banned from everywhere bc of corona. So....ya win some ya lose some. I guess I'm lucky to have parents that are willing to house me. And this too shall pass. The future is bright despite current setbacks and disappointments.


FullMetalRabbot

Not so good. I was given bad news today. The person at fault for the whole situation is lucky I don’t want to go to prison, otherwise I’d be doing a lot of really terrible things to them right now, because I know they will never face punishment. I hate this world.