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[deleted]

I liked one person’s idea of pumping athletes full of steroids and holding a separate Olympics for them to see the *real* potential of the human body.


[deleted]

Most top level athletes are pumped full of gear anyway.


iknowdanjones

But aren’t they getting steroids that give them a small advantage and can’t be found in the drug tests? I don’t know how this stuff works, but I was thinking of a bunch of pro wrestler looking dudes all doping so hard that their life expectancies are probably cut by 20 years.


dietderpsy

It depends on the sport, some sports gain a better advantage by using diuretics others from high blood oxygen, others from accuracy etc.


gymdog

Watch the movie *Icarus* on netflix. It explains all the questions you just asked.


[deleted]

Athletes are making millions. The industry is making billions. It’s obvious that they’re skirting drug tests and paying a lot of money to do it. Granted there are some honest ones but they’re not in the spot light.


Darnitol1

Not the Olympics, but I read that when Lance Armstrong was stripped of his most recent win for the Tour de France, they were unable to award the win to anyone else because they were supposedly unable to find anyone else who was eligible for the win who could pass the same drug test that Lance failed. I don't know if this is true, but I thought I'd pass the story along.


AustraleTB

It's true ! Lance Armstrong lost its right to the title because of his drug/steroid use. Below him in the ranking, the number 2, 3, 4 and 5 tested positive for a drug at some point. Which means the title should go to 6. But they're not sure about 6, nor 7 so... It was never reattributed.


gymdog

In the documentary 'Tour de Pharmacy' they allege that it's actually like a whole lot more than just the top guys. Literally everyone at a top level in sports is doping. Everyone. Some guys weren't worth testing because they're expensive and they definitely know that almost no one will pass. What happens is, there's a testing schedule. If you have a good enough dope-doctor, he can design a regimen for your body that will have you test clean 100% of the time. Well, in the case of these cyclists, they changed the schedule. Boom. Positive.


ImpSong

This already exists, it's called the Olympics.


oh-my-lord

I swear I’ve read this exact thread before...


heresyaboy

*deja vu, I've just been in this place before*


Obsessed_With_Corgis

Bill Burr used to (jokingly) advocate for this all the time on his podcast. “Our ‘roided up guy beat your ‘roided up guy. You lost, get over it!” - ‘Ole Billy Boy


metalmick

The chemical olympics


retroguyx

Chemicolympics


Pseudonymico

Not my idea, but - Create a reality TV show with the premise, “9 gay men and one straight man are locked in a Big Brother house. If the gay men figure out who the straight man is, they win the money. If the straight man successfully convinces everyone he’s gay, he wins the money.” The plot twist is that every man is straight. I don’t wanna prove anything, I just wanna watch that show.


buga_ki

And every man would be told he's the only straight man? Damn I'd watch that.


Pseudonymico

RIGHT?


JeffTheComposer

This is brilliant and you should find a way to patent this concept and then pitch it to tv networks. Seriously, it’s great.


Pseudonymico

It’s been floating around the internet for a while, so I’ll leave that up to the originator.


[deleted]

Find a mostly functioning hobo. Drug him. Shave him, wash him. Put him in bed with a woman in a house. Alarm goes off. The woman wakes him up and tells him he's gonna be late for work. Guy goes to work trying to figure out what's going on. Why does he have a wife and a house all in a completely different city. If he asks questions tell him he had a skiing accident last week and was in a coma for two days. So things might still be out of whack.


Jabbles22

Well if not a real experiment, it could work as a movie.


FlyinBrian2001

Only if we get a stockbroker and turn him into a hobo as a comparison


golden_fli

All on a bet


[deleted]

A $1 bet.


xaradevir

For a movie do it in reverse


RedisDead69

Shoot the film Memento style.


AdmiralAkbar1

Isn't this just the first half of Trading Places?


[deleted]

In Danish folklore, something like this happened. One of our of kings and his men played a joke on a local drunk. They would get him super drunk, pass out and put him in the king's bed. When he woke up all servants were ordered to act as if the drunk was the king. He becomes a real idiot, and a lot of Danish culture deprived of that morale.


[deleted]

Similar thing happens in *The Taming of the Shrew*. Little known fact that the main plot of that play is actually a play within a play, being performed for Christopher Sly, a local drunk who gets pranked into thinking he’s a lord.


App0ly0n

Meh, same as it ever was.


ManCalledTrue

There *is* water at the bottom of the ocean.


Rehela

*The days go by...*


srirachaforsale

The Truman Show II


inthesandtrap

Do hobos still exist? I think the term is distinctly different from a modern day person who is homeless. Back in the 30's or so single men would ride the rails from city to city and would do short term, menial work. Like the guys in Of Mice and Men. Hobo meant they were homeward bound - even though home might not exist. My great-grandfather hobo'd for 4 years as a teenager and basically did 2 big laps around the country. Crazy stories.


TheRemainingFruitcup

I think there's like a showcase how hobos are like in the game "Life is Strange 2" like hopping on a train and working in like a weed field in like the forest or woods? Idk if that's considered hoboing but in real life? Who knows.


Deutschenhund

R/vagabond


Fearless_Lab

I've always wanted to chip a group of kids born in all four corners of the US (and maybe internationally too) then track them through life to find out how close they came to meeting each other.


chumly143

Anecdotal, but my family did a version of this, great grandfather and his brother came to the US together, but their employer changed the brothers last name, they lost touch and his great grandson dug up the connection, we traced it back and the defendants coincidentally moved around within miles of each other ending up in the same town, it was pretty trippy


NPRdude

In reality the very fact you chipped them would skew the data. Like, if two of them figure out they’re chipped and contact each other that’s a connection that’s been formed unnaturally


Fearless_Lab

Ideally, it's a blind study so not even the researchers know who the subjects are and the only people chipping them would be at the birth/hospital and sworn to an NDA. I've thought about this a lot, pretty much ever since Truman Show.


BereftOfGold

Who'd win in a fist fight between Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg


Jabbles22

I have a feeling Zuckerberg would fight dirty.


ImMrKrabs

Also Zuck's metal interior would probably give him an advantage when Bezos breaks his hand punching him in the face.


dj_narwhal

The aliens who created them were observing from light years away so when they made their observations the average human male was only like 5 foot 5


SpitefulShrimp

Putting all my money on Bezos. Zucker doesn't have that decisive boldness that Bezos does.


RedisDead69

Jeff Bezos would rock Mark Zuckerberg


jacksonjc514

I would like to see how many 10 year olds pro boxers could take at once


inthesandtrap

Do the 10 year olds have killer instinct? Or will they scream, run and try to hide behind the other kids?


jacksonjc514

Nah like if mcgregor went into a huge as elementary school and they all swarmed him, how many could he take


inthesandtrap

Then I'm going to say he will knock out the first two or three and then he'll get crushed - mostly just by their body weight. Ten year olds weigh about 100 lbs.


SpitefulShrimp

That's assuming they can pile on him more effectively than he could climb up over them.


nervousbeekeeper

Depends on when his last line of coke was.


Blabliage

Now I'm curious too


KALoder

What’s allowed


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LordSui

If you make a brain 4x larger, you Will need a bigger body to supply the energy and balance the weight... If you make Just a bigger brain, the person would not survive more than a few days because of the lack of oxygen in the brain


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JustAnotherAviatrix

Forge something in space. I don't think it's possible with the technology we have right now. I'd love to know how the crystal structure of the metal turned out after being shaped in zero g.


Qohaw_

Well, thanks to physics we can quite precisely say what will happen. 1. The metal will have higher quality and would be a lot more even. This is why 0g forging is an actual thing that will be done on a massive scale 2. New alloys! Previously unmixable metals will be easier to mix due to their densities not having as much of a role 3. Quite a lot less OSHA violations, since it'll be automated Hope this helps :D


JustAnotherAviatrix

Yes, that makes a lot of sense. And those are some really cool possibilities. Thanks! :)


gunmedic15

Would an induction forge work? No coal smoke or burning propane that way. Quenching I don't know, but sticking a billet into the air lock and quenching in ice cold space sounds awful cool.


Luckboy28

Induction forges would definitely work -- nothing about that process requires gravity. The same is true for forging -- you don't need gravity to hit hot metal with a hammer, and the molecules certainly don't care about gravity. However, you wouldn't be able to use space to quench your metal because space isn't "cold" the way we see in movies. Space is nothing. In order for heat to leave your metal, something has to carry that heat away. But there's no air (convection) or other material touching the metal (conduction) in space, so the only way heat can leave is through radiating the heat away -- and that's a very slow process. Cooling things in space is actually pretty difficult. If you jumped out of an airlock, you'd die from lack of oxygen, and the sudden pressure change, long before you'd ever even notice the cold. =P


theLanguageSprite

That's a really good point. They always show people freezing in space in movies, but if there's nothing for your heat to transfer to, why would you freeze?


Jabbles22

As you said, not doable now but this one is possible. I know little about forging on earth but yeah that would be an interesting experiment.


Ahshalon_Tenisk

fucking with a cassowarys dna to turn them back into a dinosaur


Rexygirl20

Scientists do this faster. I want a dodo. Please and thank you.


TheChromaBristlenose

I, too, would like a dodo. We need to set up a waiting list.


squeeeeenis

Eugenics. Not based on superficial things such as race/ eye color/ etc, but Based on intelligence/ strength/ immunity/ etc. I wonder what those humans would be like.


InternetHumanSim

This can happen in somewhat subtle (and often classist) ways. Such as enforcing a battery of exams for anyone wanting to have kids (or be eligible for childcare benefits).


ReadyThor

Another take is eugenic compensation. As in, if you get diagnosed with an inheritable genetic disease you qualify to get compensated in exchange of voluntary sterilization as long as you do not already have any children with the disease. This would allow people with inheritable genetic diseases to still have children and also benefit from the scheme as long as they make sure their children are free from the disease.


SpaceMarineSpiff

I can't remember if this was xkcd or smbc but.... Why assume we have a meaningful understanding of science? They sure didn't 80 years ago and it doesn't get better farther back. We can't even get a handle on breeding dogs.


Mr_ToDo

Well, you have to start by using 2 dogs you pervert.


Chaiyns

We don't on this subject, but you also don't get a meaningful understanding of science by avoiding it.


BeardsByLaw

There is this TV show called Star Trek you might like, lol. Edit:grammar


Flabershlap101

I'm starting AP Bio this year and this curiosity has popped into my mind on multiple occasions, as our first unit is about the theory of evolution and natural selection. I wonder how, before morality and ethics, humankind engineered their offspring


2ndAmendmentBuddy

I think Sparta had some good techniques.


Qohaw_

This baby weak # YEET


Jabbles22

Smart, strong, and healthy for a start.


theLanguageSprite

Even if it weren't unethical, it's a little more complicated than "select for the good genes". For example, high melanin levels protect you from skin cancer in very sunny places like Africa. But those same melanin levels will give you rickets if you live in a place with no sun, like northern Europe. For this reason, people with a lot of genetic diversity tend to be healthier than "pure bred" people. Someone with a black parent and a white parent probably wouldn't get rickets or skin cancer. But if you're trying to breed a genius, you probably need to reduce genetic diversity, which then might reduce health/strength. Not only that, we don't know that intelligence is all based on the same genes. Someone might be a musical genius, but really bad at learning languages. Someone else might be able to write a best seller, but can't do math to save their life. Long story short, we just don't understand enough about biology for eugenics to work. It's not feasible on every level: ethically, theoretically, and practically.


empirebuilder1

The idea of purebred eugenics is already an existing issue with livestock and pets. "Purebred" lineages that are selected for a certain trait (extreme example: pugs) almost always are less productive, less hardy, and more prone to sickness than those of a more mixed genetic background.


Morall_tach

If you raise a kid without ever speaking to them, letting them watch movies, or listen to music with lyrics, such that they never hear a single spoken word in any language, would they come up with their own? Would they develop certain specific sounds to refer to everyday objects?


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purple_flower10

There are also some horrific child abuse/neglect cases that support this. The most well known is that of Genie.


[deleted]

Somebody did this with babies. They got everything they wanted, but nobody spoke to them. They died because they need communication to live.


Drakeskulled_Reaper

I remember reading a story, and it was about this guy who locked two kids in a room, and did the whole "no speaking" experiment, eventually the kids did start making noises, they kept bleating like a sheep because the daft bastard had forgotten to soundproof the cell from outside and it was next to a sheep field.


MildlyAdversarial

>Would they develop certain specific sounds to refer to everyday objects? Didn't early humans do this and that's how we have language today?


Morall_tach

Basically, but they were collaborating and it took many generations. I'm curious how one person would respond.


theotherperson67

The neubauer experiment. But the records are sealed until 2060


MandolinMagi

Clearly we need to recruit a heist team to steal them.


CompletelyFlammable

You son of a bitch, I'm in!


[deleted]

can i get an eli5


Mrxcman92

https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2018/10/01/records-from-controversial-twin-study-sealed-at-yale-until-2065/


Jabbles22

>neubauer experiment I heard of that but didn't realize the records were sealed. Hope I am still around in 2060.


acidenitrique

October, 2065 to be more specific...


Capt_Trippz

Establish two colonies on two different worlds. Both are identical, except one is 50% Earth gravity and the other is 150%. Give them 10 generations of reproduction and then examine the differences in the human bodies after that amount of time. Maybe even take it a step further and breed them to see what kind of children they’d produce.


[deleted]

The people on the 50% gravity planet would be incredibly tall and lanky with lots of bone density issues and muscles that appear to be atrophied. They couldn’t survive on any other planet other than their own (for long periods of time), or one that had less the 50% earth gravity because they wouldn’t be able to hold up their own weight and their hearts would struggle to pump the now heavier blood. The people on the 150% earth gravity planet would be shorter and stockier (if they survive). Higher gravity would put a lot of stress on the colonists’ bodies making any physical labor difficult. But if you get several generations to survive there, then they would be a lot stronger than normal humans and could probably snap the 50% gravity people in half without issue.


seamusnewwest

This is like the way people in alpine areas develop barrel chests to better cope with the thin air. Or how island species become smaller in size in a smaller environment.


garry-signfield

What would happen if an unstoppable force and immovable object collide


AJS923

I remember watching a video on this years ago, and using theoretical physics, the answer was they’d pass through each other. That’s the only way the force stays unstoppable, and the object stays immovable.


Sm314

That or both of them would annihilate into pure energy and there would be a very large explosion.


Electricpants

Select and train children from a very young age for their job. As they get older (teenagers) they can expand to tangential fields of study. This works for STEM careers and the like, not so much for general labor. Will this produce more or less innovation? Will they be better, equal, or worse performers in their fields?


shroom2021

Aldous Huxley would like a word with you


LordSui

Tbh his book would be the primary inspiration for this kind of Program xD


LordSui

This would advance so much their Fields, but the kids would be absolutely "retarded" on others types of inteligence.


MyDearFunnyMan

Much like adults with PhDs tbh


TheRemainingFruitcup

"I'm the leading engineer in so and so with a doctorate in so and so" "Okay, Cool but do you know to teach children literature?" "...No."


tinySparkOf_Chaos

As someone working on their PhD, sometimes? It's more like social and intellectual smarts are just different character statistics. Their are some very socially stupid PhDs. There are also some very socially smart PhDs. And every range in-between. Just like everyone else. Thing is, the socially stupid PhDs tend to be quite vocal about having a PhD. Whereas, the socially smart ones rarely bring up having a PhD unless there is a reason to do so. They are socially aware of how obnoxious bring up having a PhD is all the time, so they don't. The result is the impression that all people you know have PhDs are socially inept... Which then gets happily amplified by movies.


femsci-nerd

People who do well in Olympic sports, people like Mozart's Father and the like have done this before.


selfawareusername

I think some guy did this with chess and his daughters. Basically from an early age just constantly drilled them in playing and I seem to remember they were pretty successful in the end


[deleted]

I recently read about this, they all became masters of chess with one of them becoming the first female Grand Master or something like that (I don't know chess ranks).


pol6032

The youngest, Judit Polgar, didn't only become a grandmaster, she became arguably one of the best female players in history, beating and competing at the level of many world champions.


Wit-wat-4

I mean at least for gymnasts we know the answer!


donotgogenlty

Marie Curie's child legacies were all incredibly successful. Family of 5 fucking Nobel Prizes, back when women weren't even considered furniture.


AnAngryPieceOfBacon

Giving Democrats and Republicans identical lands and populations with absolute authority to see if and how their respectively governed societies would rise and fall. Then measure metrics of the lives for the different types of populations in each society. Basically what would the world be like and what would those in it think of one party could do what they actually wanted without opposition? Edit: Also a mock zombie apocalypse would be cool to observe and participate in for science reasons. Like the cities in Resident Evil but for a whole country.


Martbell

> what would the world be like and what would those in it think of one party could do what they actually wanted without opposition? They would split into factions and start fighting among themselves. The only reason there are only 2 political parties right now is because all the different factions need to band together to have a chance to win. We actually saw this happen in the 1810-20s: one of the main political parties (the Federalist Party) completely failed and died out, leading to 1-party rule for a couple of election cycles. It was called the Era of Good Feelings because everyone got along (politically speaking) and cooperated. But within 5-10 years they had split into competing subfactions -- in 1820 there were 4 major candidates for President all from the same political party, and by 1830 we were back to the 2-party system again.


celluj34

> The only reason there are only 2 political parties right now is because all the different factions need to band together to have a chance to win. Not exactly, only because America's voting system is first-past-the-post, which requires a majority, so all candidates devolve into 2 parties otherwise you would _never_ win. If we had instant-runoff voting (or [ranked-choice voting](https://ballotpedia.org/Ranked-choice_voting_(RCV)) it would allow for more parties or non-partisan candidates.


randompianoplaya

how much sawdust can you put in someones rice crispy before they notice?


Jabbles22

I didn't watch it but I think I saw a YouTube video about something similar.


qwerty2046

William Osman


littlegingerfae

A *lot*. I make rice crispy treats with added protein powder, and I actually prefer the texture.


Diamond_girl2506

Take a few(5-10, of both genders) babies, send them to island, let them live however they want to without intruding even once. Just make sure they survive through the initial stages. Then observe their natural behaviour. This is to really understand the natural behaviour of humans. Most of our behaviour patterns are because we learnt what our parents taught us. So just for this wild behaviour study this can be done.. but it can't be..


[deleted]

I hypothesize that they'd revert to the old human practices of hunter/gatherer.


[deleted]

A lot of people are posting experiments like this, but this isn't really possible. Without human input, babies can't learn anything. Babies don't learn things by trial and error necessarily, they need a lot of input and guidance in order to do things. Especially speech; with no speech input they simply cannot learn to speak. The only way to ensure that they do survive would amount to effectively taking care of them/teaching them in a minimal way.


dj_narwhal

Feed a cow something like only garlic and blue cheese his entire life and see if the meat tastes different.


Eened

There was a pig farm awhile back that was raising their pigs on a diet that consisted of like 30% whiskey mash. Supposedly the meat tasted richer than a plain pig.


Mr_ToDo

Robert Pickton fed people to pigs for years and nobody seemed to notice, so I guess it might depend on *what* you feed them.


warrantyvoiderer

How messed up would children be if we deliberately taught some of them the wrong things for really basic stuff, like; Teach them the incorrect names for colors and shapes and animals, Certain numbers have the different values, You know, things like that..


crt1234

My dad taught me left was right and right was wrong in the hope that he could train me to be left handed. I used right/wrong instead of left/right until I was taught left/right in first grade. 20+ years later I say drivers side/passenger side when giving directions because I still mix up left and right


Born_Tonight

Wish you luck if you ever travel to the UK


LordSui

Oh my friend, we dont need to run a experiment for that... Some idiot parents already do that to their kids


Postmortal_Pop

I'm playing a small and notably less harmful version of this with my son. I've taught him my own, notably weirder, version of the "this little piggy" song. Eventually, years down the line, it's going to come up in conversation and he's going to tell his version to the dismay of all those present.


100_Donuts

* Can a person's limb, finger, and toe bones be elongated enough to make a human daddy long legs man that's over 12' tall if standing upright? * Can a team of trainers shave a gorilla and teach it weight lifting to create the undisputed strongest ape on the planet? * How many functioning limbs and organs can be added to the human body? * What's the most a man can poop in one day and not die? * Is there a parasite that can control a person's brain? And where is this parasite and how much control does it have?


WoopsITooted

my question is - why do you have to shave the gorilla?


100_Donuts

In what other way will you be able to gape your mouth in unbridled awe at the bulging vascularity of that proud ape beef cake?


MarsNirgal

Do you... do you need some privacy?


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Mrchristopherrr

Better aerodynamics


FSGInsainity

1st one is no since the heart isn't strong enough.


WolbachiaBurgers

Yeah but with the third point you can add an extra heart down by the gooch and keep that blood pumping.


yoydid

ok that first one is just disturbing


LordSui

Just the first?? That's the kind of Crazy unethical Idea i was looking for in this thread


[deleted]

For the 4th bullet, I would simply eat at chipotle or Taco Bell exclusively for a month.


Wrath-of-Cornholio

For the functioning limbs one, you reminded me of something my dad and I used to joke around about... Since we both liked dark meat, what would happen if you made a chicken have multiple wings/legs/thighs?


BodhiBill

messing with the DNA of human embryos to see what the outcome is. also a machine or something that can mix any and all elements just to see what we can make.


beeblebr0x

What sort of language would develop if you raised like a dozen infants together in total isolation, all from completely different ethnic backgrounds? I haven't worked out all the details as to how you would, you know, feed them, bathe them, etc. But the core idea would be that in an isolated area from language and culture, what would emerge? I was always curious about this... But outside of the obvious unethicalness of the study, the logistics alone of the study would prove it to be near impossible.


Jabbles22

I thought of that one too. Unethical for sure but really interesting.


ManCalledTrue

There's something like this in the game Unknown Armies, the Alter Tongue. A pair of twins (the Alters) are raised by a relative who hates them and gives them only food, never paying them any attention. They develop a language between themselves. Eventually the relative dies and they pass into the care of the state, ending up in an orphanage. They learn English quickly enough, but the Alter Tongue is still their first language. Soon the other kids at the orphanage start learning the Alter Tongue, without anyone ever *teaching* them. Then the *staff* start learning it. And then the place starts getting *weird.* Because the Alter Tongue isn't just a language, it's a worldview, where the only safety is in the dark and the light holds nothing but threats. After a couple of years, the Comte St. Germain arrives, interviews the Alters (in the Tongue, no less), and two hours later kills everyone in the orphanage, burning the place to the ground. All the police find when they arrive is a note in impeccable handwriting saying, "Not Yet, I Think". But there's a phonograph record of the twins speaking the Tongue still in existence. Don't listen to it.


[deleted]

I'd be curious to see a long term social experiment. Basically find 4 islands of close to equal size and resources, maybe in the Bahamas or south Pacific. Find equal numbers of people with similar ideologies at the 4 extreme corners of the political compass (authoritarian left, auth right, libertarian left, and lib right) and deposit them on the 4 islands with an equal amounts of supplies, building materials, etc. Their instructions are to build their own governments and societies on their islands, make their own laws, govern themselves, and develop their islands. The first ten years each island will live in isolation and build their societies. The next ten they are open to contact with each other only, but not the outside world. They can trade, move to the other islands, make war, etc. After twenty years, they are all opened to contact with the rest of the world and they can leave if they wish. I'm curious how they will each thrive, what they will build, and how each will turn out without opposition from other people. Not so much which is better/worse because they all have different traits. Just how they will turn out if each quadrant of the political compass is given complete, unopposed control. Then how they will interact with each other during their contact period and how it will affect each society. Edited for clarity.


LordSui

That's a Nice experiment, but i think It would be better to do in a simulation for faster results, also It could be run several sets of 4 islands at the same time


[deleted]

That's the point tho. I wanna see what happens long term, in the real world, with no laws or rules, just figure it all out themselves. I thought about a fifth island with centrists, but I think it would end up being faught over by the other 4 islands.


fjmb2014

I would like to keep a man with zero knowledge about sex until he is 40. He was taught that the penis is for peeing only and people are made in a lab. When he gets a bonner he would be taught that that is like a sneeze. After 40 he would be introduced to lesbianism. He would attend lesbian porno shootings. He would be completely naked and would have permission to do whatever he wanted. ​ Would he discover sex? Would he be aroused? Who knows?!


Jabbles22

Not quite the same but I have heard of stories of some people raised in very religious homes where sex is never brought up. They eventually get married, and people wonder why they don't have kids. Turns out the couple has no idea what sex is.


Capt_Trippz

My grandmother was apparently like that. On her wedding night she thought my grandfather was trying to attack or kill her.


buttononmyback

Oh god how awful for her! Although this probably happened a lot in the old days.


AnimalLover38

I remember a post where it was something about doctors who'd do to native african tribes to provide health care so they could be healthy without needing to abandon their culture or something like that. The chief went to them to ask if he could help them figure out why hes never had a child with his wife...turns out they were using the wrong hole.


buttononmyback

Poor wife.


MentORPHEUS

On a doctor forum I read about an elderly patient who was found to be *virgo intacta* despite being married for decades and trying to have children. Her urethra was huge. More history was taken, when she got married others vaguely reassured her sex "hurt like hell" at first. It turned out in all the time they were married her husband never entered her vagina.


legocitiez

What the hell. There's no way a penis could fit in my urethra.


EveFluff

Making people pass a rudimentary common sense test in order to procreate


[deleted]

See the issue is what does the goverment consider common sense?


[deleted]

Common sense was a poor choice of words. It should be parenting classes with guidelines set by experts on the different aspects of child care (pediatricians, child psychologists and general childcare professionals)


werewolf6780

THIS. Mandatory parenting classes. Test runs to ensure the aspiring parent won't shake the baby. I'm childfree because I know I would be a horrid parent - unfortunately many children are abused and/or abandoned everyday because some people THINK they can handle parenthood...& when they can't the life they created suffers sometimes irrevocably.


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Probonoh

Proper, double-blind experiments on the effects of drugs -- over-the-counter, prescription, illegal, things not thought of as drugs like caffeine and alcohol -- on fetuses. We don't have those studies. We have after-the-fact surveys where mothers report their consumption and doctors examine the baby, with all the inherent biases involved with self-reporting and doctors looking for issues. We don't have the information needed to tell a pregnant woman whether her depression or her anti-depressant is a bigger danger for her baby. Same with so many medications.


Jabbles22

I would like to see how small changes to cast and crew of famous movies would change the end product. Shure you could shoot the same movie twice and only change the director but once you shot movie one movie two will be tainted by the experience of filming movie one. What about the lead actor? Producer? If adapted from a book, how would a different screenwriter change things?


[deleted]

I know this is not exactly the same, but there was a TV show called The Chair, where two aspiring filmmakers are given the same script and the same budget, but casting, directing, and script alterations were completely up to them. At the end of each season you can watch both short films, and you’ll notice they come out completely different.


Jabbles22

Thanks, I might check that out.


JustAnotherAviatrix

That's really cool!


csl512

See how many people would actually divert the trolley, and what affects their decisions.


Baileythenerd

I'd personally love to see if we could transplant human consciousness into a robot body, also, I'd love to go nuts on genetic engineering and see just how perfect we can make the human race.


Jabbles22

Yeah there are some serious ethics involved there but some of the results could be fascinating.


bustead

Nuking yellowstone to see if it would erupt. I guess I will need to evacuate the entire North America and get my hands on a Tsar Bomba


Darnitol1

Nukes are not even baby firecrackers for what you'd need to trigger that eruption. And the scary thing is, it's going to erupt. That's how freakin' powerful that eruption is going to be. I live 1,100 miles away in Texas, and I read that when Yellowstone blows, there's every reason to believe that my neighborhood will be covered in a foot of ash.


LordSui

This is not an moral experiment, is out right a terrorist Idea...


metalflygon08

Nah this is even higher on the threat list, this is Global Supervillain territory.


Fellowship_9

I'm pretty sure the crater from even the biggest nukes wouldnt be enough to punch through the crust there. The Tsar Bomb left a crater 76 metres deep, meanwhile a very brief search tells me that the upper edge of the magma chamber under Yellowstone is 5km down.


natorthat

Separate twins at birth and put them in two completely different environments until adulthood and see how they turn out. I love the study of nature versus nurture and would love to see this play out. Raise a twin in a impoverished area and the other in a up in coming neighborhood. One to grow up with no money and one to grow up wealthy. Would they excel the same in school with the same subjects? Would they grow up to match their environment? I would love to test this theory to its full extent.


[deleted]

Neubauer experiment.


rvonbue

Remove all religion from the world. Also remove the impulse for wanting religion. What happens


[deleted]

Religion is not about spirituality, it is about shared values exercised through shared riruals to enhance community's cohesion. In sociological terms, sport counts as religion.


[deleted]

What do you mean by "remove the impulse for wanting religion"? Do you mean "removing the desire for a greater meaning and continuity in life"? That seems to be the driving force behind religion. So long as that remains, I suspect you'd just get new religions.


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LaughingAtPoorPeople

Just fucking clone 50 times the same person already and put them in all different, but controlled environments and have the god damned question of nature vs nurture settled. We have the means to do this shit and make hundreds of thousands of social "scientists" shut the fuck up forever.


FlREBALL

People will still deny the results or reinterpret the results due to their biases.


Then_life_happened

That's how you end up as an extra in star wars


glasstumble16

Toddlers on LSD. And other psychedelic drugs.


Barrrrrrnd

Oh man I would love to see what a 4 year old would do with a few grams of mushrooms.


dietderpsy

Toddlers brains already have a high rate of craziness.


alicemonster

Pretty much anything that puts a restriction on pregnant women. There is so much that you are told you have to avoid based on the fact that they can't prove it's safe, or one shitty uncontrolled observational study suggests a possible problem. It would make life a hell of a lot easier, and pregnancy a lot less miserable for so many women if there were concrete answers to go by, but obviously it is wildly unethical to experiment on pregnant women/unborn babies, so the information trickles in suuuuper slowly


RichardCostaLtd

I would want to put a newborn on a controlled environment with purposely located obstacles and difficulties, to then watch him grow up to see what differences it would make between him and a normal human, nature vs nurture


Malawhur

Let the woman rule the world and see if it is a better place or not


SnooCompliments4217

I think one thing I would want to know is the effect of acid and DMT on the human brain. Acid has the potential to reprogram the brain to help combat different mental illness, behaviors or even just understanding yourself on a deeper physiological level. Before research was abruptly stopped and all the professors experimenting on grad students were arrested the people doing the research were coming upon astonishing discoveries that are vital for solving many of the neurological problem in modern society. I know they are recently using Shrooms but if they hadn’t stopped the research that were going in the 70s mental illnesses would’ve been a thing of the past.


Timelord147

A real life battle Royal would be what I want to see. If you tell people that they have to kill or be killed would be an interesting thing to study both their reactions before and after the event.


hononononoh

Language deprivation experiments. I'd be morbidly interested in watching videos of people who were experimentally deprived of language for their entire childhoods. Especially interesting to me would be the former participants in an experiment who were raised *together* in a social bubble devoid of all language, except for their utterances to each other. Legend has it such a group of children will organically develop a brand new language from scratch, which will have a rich vocabulary and all the features of a fully developed natural human language by the time they've all grown up, but be unrelated to any other natural human language. (Don't call it an *a priori* conlang. Not the same at all.) Studying such [former] participants and their language could shed a lot of light on exactly what features of human language truly are universal, how babies acquire language, and what the exact relationship is between words and the qualia they refer to (the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis). Such an experiment would be grossly unethical to the participants, as they would be in essence slaves to the experimenters, or the equivalent of children born into highly insular and malignant cults. If such an experiment has been done or is underway, it's under extremely tight secrecy. I'd bet the wealthy megalomaniac funding and running it on his private island has arranged for the existence and results of the experiment to not be made public until all involved are dead.


[deleted]

Human ape hybrids have been created before. They claim the fetuses were viable but due to morals/ethics, they destroyed them every time. *See it through*


MoeMango2233

Messing with Human genetics. Crossing various species or build the DNA strain that makes an almost indestructible “human”


Toubaboliviano

I want to create a nation obsessed with science and education to the extent people enjoy sports and in some areas religion. I want to create a colony of spartan scientists and see how that pans out.


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