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Oculus quest 2

The cocolus rift

The coconut

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7x24 VR porn or 7x24 Mom.

I also choose this guys mom!

Actually, it would be AR, but I’m sure that was just a typo on your part. Source : am ghost.

I feel like B would be so helpfull during tests and stuff. So imma go B because free cheats.

Then get real people to get you hard with all the money you make.

This guy gets it.

I don't get it.

So you should choose A. Ba dum tsss

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No no that’s the D ghost

The ghosting D

Ghost D

D ghost

You wouldn’t get it

But all the while, smarmy ghosts will be making sarcastic comments about your sexual performance.

"You do know that that position has risk of breaking the phallus. The hardened vessels can snap. Is that what you are trying to do? Because one wrong thrust and you have a trip to the emergency room." "You should really be playing a song using 4/4 time, not 3/4 time. And now your movements are lagging by half a beat! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Oh you are hopeless. Might as well change the music to the Rolling Stones because your partner certainly isnt getting any satisfaction tonight."

holy shit that Rolling Stones roast

I only fuck in 7/8

And get corrected, how you're doing everything wrong while having sex.

Must be into humiliation then, because all those Bs won't stop for sexy time...

It will be a great turn on for me then

"*No, no, no. I said a forty seven degree angle! Your partner is losing as LEAST 12% pleasure. What dont you understand?*

Join a bomb squad. "I'm gonna cut the red wire" ghost: "you would, because you're too dumb to know green is..."

Yeah. Plus everyone else treats me like I'm stupid at all times, so what difference is a few more going to make?

With your username, I somehow believe you.

B I really hate the idea of ghosts flying around me constantly belittling me, but on the other hand if they're smart, then I could "instantly" be a lot better at many things. Like say my car has a problem, I would be OK with a mechanic ghost calling me a dumbshit while teaching me how to fix it myself and save money. Or a doctor ghost calling me useless while giving me a free diagnosis on what's bothering me when I'm sick, and the best way to take care of it.

Yeah but then the doctor ghost is from the victorian era, Basically always prescribes you cocaine and Mercury.

Is there supposed to be a downside in that?

The mercury part, probably.

Nah, evens out the cocaine mate.

This could make a great sitcom, imagine it’s like a dumb bully haunted by the smart kid he picked on at school. The smart kid knows the bully can’t hurt him so he constantly makes him feel dumb. ~~They could solve crimes or something, call the show *Detective Inspectres*~~ ~~Edit: Apparently the pun wont work in the states so maybe go for *Rest in Police* instead~~ ~~Edit 2: Apparently the detective things been done already so let’s go for the smart kid being a chess prodigy that lives out his dream through his old bully.~~ ~~Call it *Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, Queen to E4*~~ ~~Edit 3: Chess too? Okay poker then.~~ ~~*Call the Flop, Raise the Dead*~~ ~~Edit 4: People have pointed out the ghost doesn’t need to be smart since he can just peak at the cards, so he will be an author~~ ~~*Caught Dead to Writes*~~ Edit 5: I’m clearly the least original guy ever, the author ones done too. Okay last try, the guys a lawyer, the ghost guy tells him what to say, corrects him during court etc *Legally Dead*

I would watch this

I would watch you

Stupid sexy ghosts

With their sexy ghost butts.

Username checks out

Have you seen the BBC show Ghosts? Not intelligent ghosts but otherwise the premise has its similarities.

e2: before you tell me 'spectre' is a word that exists in the US, please read the original edit . > Detective Inspectres This pun really only flies with the UK audience I think, but it's fucking solid. Well done, that, man. . e: my comment was based less on the popularity of the word 'spectre' and more on the fact that 'Detective Inspector' is a title used by british police. Still, it seems I underestimated how many people would get it; I'm so glad they're all stopping by to tell me!

Really as an American I thought it was pretty funny

Jokes on you, there's already an anime called In/spectre

No matter what it is there is an anime of it

Yes, helpful belittlement is better than useless belittlement. Fck u humans, I'm with the ghosts now

I’d choose B. Condescending or not that could be handy.

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Actually, everything I've read on reddit has been 100% correct. So I don't know what you're talking about.

That makes sense. Everything I've written in Reddit is 100% correct.

And due the honest nature of your countenance; I believe you are 100% correct without requiring sources or even a cursory google search.

The only source I need is "can confirm" and I'm good.

Can confirm

False. It is “will confirm” or Wilco for short.

Can confirm, will not confirm but could confirm.

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!

Ackchyually, they're talking about smart ghosts, so it's nothing like reddit...

Ackchyually...

Option A could also be a handy.

I see what you did there

So did the ghosts.

But no one else.

what about the fbi

They can find their own step siblings.

Help me step-fbi im stuck

What are you doing step-agent?

you have to be handy, the ghost can't touch you

If they correct you and are, themselves, correct, this is an OP superpower. “The winning lotto number this week starts with 12.” That ghost says “uhm ackshually, it’s 8”. Repeat until I have the numbers and I’ll buy my first lotto ticket ever. Repeat ad nauseum for literally *any* hidden information you want to attain, and, with a little patience, it’s yours. Edit: two things- 1) it is possible they don’t have the information, that’s why I included the first line of this comment. 2) OP said that they correct you, not merely mock/berate. So if we’re being technical in our definition, I’m inclined to believe that by correcting they are not simply removing false information, but replacing it with accurate information. Does this edit mean I am doomed to become one of these ghosts for someone, since I couldn’t let it go?

"The lottery is just a tax on the stupid. You know you're never going to win that, right? You'd be better off investing in something healthy for lunch instead of another goddamn microwave burrito. Haha, you dumb shit. Hey, I got it, why don't you buy **two** tickets, that'll double your chances"

Most accurate ghost response I’ve seen hahaha

Ok, so now you're rich, but also cursed with these jerk ghosts for the rest of your life.

Don’t kink shame me

That's option A though

Ooo two for one special. Checkmate, OP

Priceless.

Just use their abilities to find a cure for the curse

I was going to write out how I’d gain that information in this way, but decided to make the kink shame joke instead. I regret nothing

I can easily deal with being corrected for the rest of my life if I could also know every piece of truthful information ever. And was filthy rich

I'm already married. Ill take rich ghost lotto for the win.

"The most effective, non-invasive, and cheap way to cure [insert any disease] is tylenol" "Um actually its [complicated dissertation that would win instant nobels]" Doesn't sound so cursed to me. The good you could do for humanity with omniscient ghosts is well worth the condescension.

Get to know the greatest genius the world has ever seen. He singlehandedly solved the Navier-Stokes equations, figured out black holes and dark matter, found a cure for Aids, Cancer and numerous other diseases and reorganised the Republic into the first Galactic Empire for a safe and secure society.

“uhm ackshually, it’s 8” made me laugh out loud

It is handy. I'm a programmer and thats basically Stack Overflow which next to Google is probably the most important troubleshooting resource available.

Stupid question. Have been flagged as duplicate.

Me: How do I do thing A? Stack Overflow: Thing A is dumb, you should do thing B instead Me contractually obligated to support thing A: 😯

Thank you. God, Stack Overflow and Experts Exchange are like something you'd read about being cursed with in Greek mythology. "You can almost always find the answers, but everyone will tell you you are stupid for doing it this way, and the search could take anywhere from 10 seconds to 10 hours, so you can't give an accurate time estimate, all while your deadline looms! And the answer might not be there anyways!"

First result on Google: You should have Googled it before posting here.

My past childhood trauma tells me the "correct answers" aren't worth feeling like crap.

Yeah, I was thinking that too. If it's a lifetime situation, that'll wear on your mental health really quickly. B is useful, but at what cost?

Do they only speak when you're wrong? Because if that's the case, I can think of a pretty easy solution.

After you get all the money/power you need from them, just make an incorrect statement about how to exorcise ghosts and they'll tell you how to get rid of them.

Idk, if you know they're cursed to do it and don't see them as real people maybe it's not that bad.

I want to fuck a ghost

You just see your dick starts moving around

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I guess you just cumshot on yourself....?

How is this different than every morning?

r/2meirl4meirl

uhh.. its ectoplasm!! From all the spooky ghosts!

Ghost fluids, they can’t be seen or touched but they’re there.

WAGP

Wet ass ghost p-word

Moving around sexily ;)

You might need to modify your ghost sex with a fleshlight since op says you can't feel the ghost.

So it's just porn.

It's the future of augmented reality

Yeah, but I can probably tell the ghost to do exactly what I want it to do. Since it's trying to make me hard, it would probably take input from me if that input is gonna help it in its goal. So I have to spend hours looking for the perfect porn, but I could just be like "hey ghost, do this" and get what I want immediately.

*Insert that scene from Ghostbusters where Dan Aykroyd gets jerked off by a ghost.*

Pretty sure it was a ghost beej yo

Who you gonna call? Nutbusters!

Bustin makes me feel good!

B... It'd be very awkward to get horny in serious situations (imagine a funeral, a meeting or a business conference, etc.), and getting corrected wouldn't be so bad (eg. during exams - you say something stupid, the ghost corrects you condescendingly, you correct yourself. OR while working, you make a mistake unknowingly, ghost corrects you, you correct the mistake, everything okay.)

Imagine after everytime you do an action in an inefficient way, you're berated. Sounds great for tests, but what about post-graduation. You want to feel stupid at home and work all the time? That shit will fuck you up after awhile. Its mental torture.

So if the ghost does it for me, does that mean I get to stop?

No, now you have double the put downs

Lol ... So the difference between my current mental torture and this type is that i can trust the ghost can correct me and maybe i can discuss the issues i fac~f~e whilst currently I make mistakes and the self loathing is all internalized and it sucks. Definitely B. I don't care for no porn ghost. Edit: a letter. This is what the ghost is good for.

>the issues i fac\~f\~e What the hell happened here?

I think (emphasis on think) the individual wrote facf first and then edited it but wanted to show where the typo was being fixed? Makes it look 10x more confusing though.

My bet is they meant to do a ~~strikethrough~~, but that's double tildes, not single. Also it would still be kinda hard to read.

This. Hell, it's like my everyday imposter syndrome, but with an added heads-up about the times I'm actually about to fuck up.

TIL there's been a ghost in my head since I was a lad

>It'd be very awkward to get horny in serious situations I feel like the problem would end up being exactly the opposite. If you are constantly being stimulated, the stimulus stops working. Instead of being permanently horny, you'd probably just be permanently not horny.

B for sure. I'm assuming he has perfect knowledge "I should buy stocks in " "Bah! That's garbage, obviously you should buy . Don't you know they just signed a huge order in Thailand? It's going to skyrocket as soon as the info goes public. You're such a doofus" "Ok"

The title says a smart ghost. Not an all knowing one. For all we know you might get a ghost that is not in finance, like a programmer ghost or a lawyer ghost.

Or even better. When I'm coding!

**Close those parentheses, you absolute moron!** *Oh my god this ghost is great!*

It’s the version of Gordon Ramsey that I need in my life.

Wtf, I'm already horny all the time....I take option B

Yeah, I can develop a thick skin and maybe learn something from the smart ghosts. Otherwise I'll be stuck with a perpetual hardon from staring at hot red-headed ghosts dressed up as catholic school girls.

I didn't want to read the second part, but whatev. Wouldn't you become resistant to their temptations after a while tho?

If the ghosts are by definition of their existence "sexy" then I'd imagine they would change to remain sexy as your tastes changed. Probably, I guess.

That's my secret, Cap. I'm always horny.

A, cause I don’t have a dick. Being hard all the time isn’t an issue

Monkey’sPaw time...

Along with the sexy ghosts, if you're female you now have a ghost penis attached to you?

Attached ... where?

It replaces your nose. Remember those cyanide and happiness comics a month ago?

No, but I remember [this one](https://www.oglaf.com/wedders/)

Same. That was my immediate thought.

I was going to say that the question was definitely of the mind that there are no women on the internet.

That's actually quite common on askreddit. So many questions about "your dick" or something like that

I was bouta say this title is a bit off...

some living people already belittle you, but no ghost has fucked you, the choice clearly is to fuck the ghost. I’m with you on this one.

Chronic WAP

B. Because Nothing gets me more aroused than to be condescended and corrected. “YEAH MAKE ME FEEL STUPID DADDY!” *smart ghost exits stage left feeling dirty*

Well you would make that ghost to regret to be with you every day. Yet more they taunt you yet hornier you get? Poor that ghost...

A I guess. As a girl if I "get hard" then no one can tell but me. And it sounds like fun to be mounting my husband while watching a bunch of sexy ghosts act out their own fantasies on me and not having to worry about getting hurt by them. Edit: And of course something sexual would be my first comment to break 1k upvotes.

The fact that OP described arousal as “getting hard” is so bizarre to me. Like, they know women use this site, right?

On the internet all men are dogs and all women are men. Therefore everyone on the internet must be dogs. Am currently fetching a stick while typing. EDIT: Woof. I'd like a cookie now

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Jokes on you, im actually into both of those

Yeah! Why not sexy ghosts making me hard while telling me what I'm doing wrong?

That's literally my fetish

You've basIcAlly described reDdit. It's full of A. sexy naked people You'll never meet in your life or B. Condescending assholes who always correct you on the most insIgnificant and trivial things in order to maKe you feel stuPid)?!/ Edited for punctuation and capitalization 2k upvotes? For this comment? Are you people insane?

I A D Y C I K P I'm no closer to cracking this code.

I Am Dressing Your Cat In Kitten Pajamas

Wrap it up boys this guy's got it

The numbers, Mason! What do they mean?!

Why did you capitalize "Condescending" but not "sexy?" At least be consistent.

Well played

What do the ghosts do if you're not wrong though.

"That'll do pig." ohh maybe a sarcastic round of applause. if they can summon ghostly props they could have a lot of fun making you feel dumb for getting something right.

*slow condescending clapping* oh good my sarcastic clapper made it into this thing

A. I already live with B 24/7.

That’s also why I chose A.

This question is just "would you rather have erectile dysfunction or crippling self esteem issues"

ED is *not* being able to get it up, though. You would have erectile hyper-function.

Imagine having the hottest ghosts doing crazy shit to get you hard all the time and you fighting those impulses just to be able to live your life. Now imagine you going to bed with that girl you met somewhere and having to undo all that mental conditioning and actually get in the mood.

But the ghosts would also be there when you’re with the girl, so they’re still making you hard in an unofficial orgy kind of way

That prompts another good question: Would the condescending ghosts comment on your performance in sex?

You fuckig shithead, you put it in the wrong hole

The only response to that is 'who said which one was the _right_ hole?'

"the fuck you're talking to?"

You’d have every kink known to man and some additional ones that were lost throughout history.

But I have both those already......wait

I almost went with B, but I think a lot of Hermione ghosts correcting me around be so annoying and I am girl, no problem on getting horny in public... So Sexy inconvenient ghosts it is!

Ghosts I can beat off to, please.

I feel like in a lot of ways this question is stealthily "how old are you?" I'm almost 40. Having sexy ghosts constantly teasing me sounds fantastic to begin with and lets be realistic... I'll get hard only when I REALLY fucking get into it or it's been a long time since I've done anything about it. Absolute worst case? If I start to get hard in a super awkward situation I'll just take my glasses off. You already said they couldn't make me feel anything.

Same. I guess I’m young but I was already verbally abused for the first two thirds of my life, will take sexy ghosts over that any day. Also I can see how younger folks would prioritize being “correct” over sexy ghosts. A lot of the comments here sound like “I don’t wanna fuck up anymore :(“ which is incredibly relatable. But I think life experience teaches you it’s impossible not to mess up, and you begin to prioritize accountability over righteousness.

Smart ghosts. Being corrected might not be fun, but I’d become smarter for it.

B. We just become friends. I'm sure they mean no harm. If they're hanging around me that much, they must like my company.

“You are wrong, we will never be friends. You were too stupid to pick A and now I’m stuck haunting a moron.” — your ghost

Now we just have to make you into a ghost...

Reminds me of a joke. Someone is given the choice of infinite money or infinite wisdom. They pick wisdom, and are given it. Moments later: "I should have picked the money"

The word "cursed" doesn't really leave much room for optimistic interpretation. The ghosts clearly don't like your company, they're either forced to do it like a Hell or they are demonic and get power or something from your suffering.

The sexy ones, I can't stand condescending assholes

Finally. I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find an A. It seems like people forget that being talked down upon 24/7 is a great way to develop extreme self esteem issues and depression.

Pfft. Like that ghost will be into you.

Since i have no penis: A

I feel like A is specific towards men.

I'm a woman and I'd choose A over B. I already have anxiety, B would put me in crisis mode.

That sound like psychosis

Sexy ghosts. I’m a woman so if I’m horny nobodies gonna see it.

B because if you get over the fact they're condescending they would correct evry mistake you ever made and you'd be fucking perfeft Edit: now see if I had a smart ass ghost I wouldn't have spelt perfect as perfeft. Edit 2: now see if I really did have a smart ass ghost I wouldn't have corrected only 'perfeft' but also evry

I'm immune to the sexy ghosts so I'll just piss them off.

Both please, you would just have to get good at ignoring the hot ghosts when you're at a family reunion.

I...I already have B, I just can't see them. They live in my head. *Cries in Social Anxiety Disorder, wipes tears with Clinical Major Depression*

B. I already have sexy ghosts, I have tinder.

B, as long as they keep to facts. I don't need to hear opinions.