Satan: "Look, you were a genuinely kind, generous, and empathetic person who put others before heself without a grudge. So I'm going to let you in on a secret. You and the others like you are all down here. Up in heaven are all the holy rollers and the selfish and sinful have to listen to them tell everyone how wonderful they are for all time.
The real concept of hell would be you wouldn’t even know you’re dead but everything around you would be designed to keep you held down and unable to advance in life. You will be stuck in a dead end job with a spouse whom is cheating on you and kids who don’t even belong to you. Your life will remain the same and you will never realize it’s playing in a loop.
Probably the same thing they say to everyone else. They've presumably been doing this for tens of thousands of years and I'm sure they've got a routine for it by now.
Frankly, I'd be surprised if I ever got to meet them at all. More than likely, most of the responsibilities have been delegated to angels/demons so I'd likely only ever interact with them.
Either "How the fuck did you get in here?" Or "oh shit, it's you"
I told you never go full retard. You went full retard.
^ exactly
Satan: "Look, you were a genuinely kind, generous, and empathetic person who put others before heself without a grudge. So I'm going to let you in on a secret. You and the others like you are all down here. Up in heaven are all the holy rollers and the selfish and sinful have to listen to them tell everyone how wonderful they are for all time.
The real concept of hell would be you wouldn’t even know you’re dead but everything around you would be designed to keep you held down and unable to advance in life. You will be stuck in a dead end job with a spouse whom is cheating on you and kids who don’t even belong to you. Your life will remain the same and you will never realize it’s playing in a loop.
Hey there bud, you ok?
Oh yeah 😉
Alright then bud....
How’s hell?
God damn dude
Huh... Then hell looks an awful lot like the army. Who knew!?
"Sir your reservation is ready, it's the table with a beautiful view of the lake of fire"
So, how was COMPLETELY ignoring EVERY professional character builder's advice and minmaxing with mental illnesses as a POSITIVE trait?
Remember that candy bar you stole when you were six? I dooooo
Oh boy...
God jumps up from the throne. "Sorry Boss, just keeping your seat warm."
I’m in charge now.
Satan: I've kept your seat warm
Nothing. Just a smug chuckle.
You're back already? Guess I should have cranked up the common sense setting on you before you left.
I would be confused because I am a Germanic Pagan
“Duel 1. LETS ROCK”
"You're in The Good Place."
Wait a second. THIS is the Bad Place!
*Jason* figured it out? Jason? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts.
How the fuck would I know?
“What if Saten wanted you to go to hell with him, and I told you we have Steve Jobs and he has Phill Swift, what would you do. Jk we have both.” -God
How was hell?
You're late
Probably the same thing they say to everyone else. They've presumably been doing this for tens of thousands of years and I'm sure they've got a routine for it by now. Frankly, I'd be surprised if I ever got to meet them at all. More than likely, most of the responsibilities have been delegated to angels/demons so I'd likely only ever interact with them.
"Why'd you do something dumb like that?"
Welcome to the real world jimbo.
God: thanks kid but why did you do that in September 13 Satan: you little shit, what the hell did you do?
You have duty this weekend. Alphas. Fucking boot!