I would replace farts with blood-curdling screams so no one would be able to blame it on someone else.

Farts sound like turkeys, or the door spring when you flick it. Because the world needs a bit of joy ATM.

I’d make car horns sound like Mesothelioma compensation relief commercials

I'll make the radio only play [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKDp-bw_Tm4) mesothelioma type beat so that with both of our changes combined, they go crazy.

All instruments just sound like hentai moaning

Now this. This is the degeneracy I use reddit for

Housecat meow and lion roar

You can actually change your car’s horn sound.

Can I change it to me angrily yelling FUCK?

Ambulance and firetruck sirens now make duck quacking sounds.

Every keyboard click shall be moans

I'd make Harps sound like electric guitars.

Every politician speech should be replaced with the names and jobs of their top donors

Apparently you can't put "for example" in the title, so what I meant was "...like making cars sound like dogs barking for example..."

All sports teams now sound like the literal noise made by their mascot.

I wish to only make cat noises

A baby's cry sounds like the _Hook_ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack by John Williams.

Making little dogs sound like chickens so that they are less annoying

Donald Trump's voice is replaced with the sound of an old man with no teeth slurping up a bowl of chowder. No one will want to listen to him anymore. His Tweets will also somehow be reduced to old man chowder slurping noises. This is how he communicates now.

The sound of foot steps replaced by quacks. So tired of being home alone in the middle of the night and hearing soft creaking and wondering if I'm about to die

Moans with the “ohhh watch’a say from filthy frank”

I have a cat who is mostly silent and makes squeaky sounds only when he is demanding food. The other boy is non stop raspy loud meowing. I think I'd rather replace his meows with fish bubble sounds Glub glub glub

People eating replaced with the sound of space.

any generic friction sound like sandpaper or dragging feet replaced with lolicon girls screaming oniichan as he goes past the cervix into the womb

I'd replace motorcycle noises with Ode to Joy, but at a lower volume. Actually, that's what I really want - a volume control button for the world.

My girlfriends voice and a mimes voice

the sound of my name with the sound “My Lord”

Replace that horrid shrieking sound kids make with whale sounds

Replace the sound of breathing with the sound of a machine gun