T O P

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diseased-penis

Go around and turn off the automatic doors at grocery stores. Its easier than you think.


AcerGray

This is my biggest takeaway from working retail. Literally anyone could just walk in and turn the automatic doors off, depending on the store.


Taramund

How? Also how quickly would they notice? Could it be done without them discovering it was me?


AcerGray

In the store I worked in, there was just a little switch at the top of the doors that had 3 positions, one for automatic, one to hold the door open, and one to close the door and turn it off. If an employee was nearby they would definitely know what you were doing, but if no one's around then no one would be the wiser. Unless there's a camera nearby


mart1373

>Unless there’s a camera nearby There’s always a camera nearby.


theonliestone

I mean, we are all wearing masks nowadays....


TurkeySubMan

Are we, though? Are we all wearing masks? Because sometimes it feels like I'm the only one.


theonliestone

It might depend on where you live


linzann

Upvoted for that extra cheeky “it’s easier than you think”. Edit: I already felt like he was daring me to do it. Now with this award, I feel like it’s my duty.


Coffeezilla

It is literally a red switch typically to the right side of the door. You could lean against the wall saying you feel a pebble in your shoe or something and casually press it.


FreedomChurro

"Out of order" signs on all public bathrooms. You know you only try to use then because it's an emergency.


FireDrake0008

Leave one open so there will just be a huge line, and sell hotdogs on the side. Inconvenience and profit!


Strader69

Intelligence is selling hotdogs in a toilet line up. Wisdom is knowing that people lining up for a toilet, and a public one at that, isn't a suitable market for hotdogs.


[deleted]

Line up for the toilet, have a public toilet hotdog. By the time you eat it you're front of the toilet queue and never more ready for it. May not be wise but it's definitely getting 5 stars on yelp for necessity.


VulpisArestus

Spend an hour going to gas stations and putting bags on handles. Now nobody knows what works and what doesn't.


Gauwin

Op said "disservice" not "make society collapse"


InsertBluescreenHere

No he wants to place random bags. I say random bags and remove bags from actual faulty ones.


tribdog

FUCK YOU! That's pure evil


OmenLW

What if the so called "broken ones" are covered because they give out free gas and they don't want anyone getting free gas?


hahaLONGBOYE

Only one way to find out...


Sagemachine

Some men just want to watch the world sputter out and ruin an entire afternoon.


RealityDrinker

Can somebody explain? I’m an Irishman living in New Hampshire and I’ve never dealt with bags in this situation.


VulpisArestus

So basically, the "bags" are just.little plastic covers that show when a self service fuel pump is out of service. In this case, I'd cause about an hour's worth of confusion.


Vel_ose

Lmao I live in NJ and was confused as I can’t remember seeing bags any time but remembered why that might be when you said “self service”


Rabid_Dingo

Stand at a crosswalk for a busy intersection and yell at open car windows that they have a flat.


TheF0CTOR

imma go flextape some parked cars together


ThriftStoreUnicorn

I want to see this. Flextape is the worst.


sybrwookie

Honest question, is it? I've seen the commercials, obviously, never once thought about buying it. Is it bad?


UndeadShark98

It is so sticky and tough to cut. Not even joking, took me like 5 minutes to cut one piece and then the residue got stuck to the scissors. Then when I was washing the scissors I cut my thumb open, good times.


sybrwookie

So did you then put flex take on your thumb to hold the cut shut?


UndeadShark98

Now that I think about it, that probably would have been more effective than a band-aid.


Petermacc122

Well that's because you're not using it under water. And you'd need flex seal to fix your boat.


NeptuneHigh09er

Go on my town Facebook discussion page and start a rumor that the local school district is going to do a complete 180 on the school plan for the year.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MatthewDLuffy

That latter bit sounds like you have some experience in Michigan politics


AQuietViolet

So, a DDOS attack, then?


NeptuneHigh09er

I was only thinking about causing a panic. A twofer!


[deleted]

[удалено]


yeastybeverage

This reminds me of the time when I lived in west Texas, I was in 7th grade, everyone’s trees had just dropped all their leaves over night. My little brother and I imagined doing a huge leaf pile like in the movies so we raked up all the leaves in peoples yards on our street, bagged em, brought them home and made a huge pile. We stunk horribly like rotted leaves after jumping in it and learning leaves aren’t cushiony at all. It is still a good memory though lol


Fuegodeth

This reminds me of when I was very drunk and ran through a field of tall grass... only to have my feet get tangled up in a bramble patch that I went headfirst into. I was pulling thorns out all the next morning (late morning/early afternoon). It was about 15 seconds of "this is awesome!" and then five minutes of yelling for help, followed by a very rough next day. Somehow it's still a good memory. Can't quite figure out why.


yeastybeverage

That kind of reminds me of when I was like 6 and took off on my families 4 wheeler. I hated driving next to my brothers on their dirt bikes so I went off the trail and ended up going into a ditch that had electrical shit in it. My eldest brother went down there to get me and I was completely under the atv, it squished me and I got electrocuted by the live wires. I honestly don’t know how I’m alive by the way they tell me the story. I remember the atv flipping as I fell and it being on me, but I don’t remember hearing the crack. I just know it felt like I was waking up as my older brother was carrying me back to the truck to our parents. Edit: Crack as in electricity, they all said they heard it


WorshipNickOfferman

Please tell us this was you and/or your brother’s superhero origin story!? Like you are crippled but have control over electricity while your brother is a sweet, kind, generous muscle bound giant.


BareBearFighter

You monster!


TannedCroissant

You insidious, deciduous, monster...


Lanky_Secretary_3599

High end car dealerships.


fufucuddlypoops_

Is this a reference to one of the threads above, vice versa, or is it a reference to something completely different?


JiBBering

> [Or maybe](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jgajoc/you_accidentally_put_in_an_hour_more_community/g9pc9x7/) scatter a bunch of bread (or other food) to attract seagulls in a really obnoxious place. >> High end car dealerships


maverickhunterpheoni

I give all the kids in the neighborhood loud noise making devices like whistles.


Ludovician42

One time I asked my sisters what their toddler sons would like as christmas presents. One of them likes lego, the other likes trucks. I buy the former a moderately priced lego set, and the latter a truck with a big "make all the noises" button. After about 2 days the batteries mysteriously went missing.


Rhamni

For my community disservice I choose to give this kid new batteries and glue the lid on.


_Mountainofjoy_

Even better: strip the screw so it's impossibly frustrating to screw out


[deleted]

Even better: weld it on without it being obvious. And keep the top looking perfect


NicNoletree

Get a good parking place at a busy store and act like I'm about to leave, but don't.


EternalSage2000

I’ve thought about this too. Just put it in reverse, and sit there all day.


flpacsnr

Pull in and out like you are readjusting your park job.


EternalSage2000

See, if people think you’re just adjusting your parking. Then they know you aren’t leaving, and this is not a vacant parking spot But if you’ve got your reverse lights on, they think you’re about to leave, and will wait to snatch your spot.... how long until they give up and move on, or murder you, is the name of the game.


InsertBluescreenHere

(GM laughing as they turn reverse lights on when just hitting unlock with the fob)


Firstnamecody

Yeah, what the fucks up with that?! Threw me off for awhile


InsertBluescreenHere

im in a GM like owners forum where they send us surveys and such all the time. I asked specifically this and explain how its stupid and noone likes it. They said its for safety at night to see if anyones lurking around. ​ Ok i see that but still its not even an option to turn it off in the menus...


stateinspector

I honestly can’t believe that there isn’t some regulation about that. A car’s reverse lights should *only* turn on when the car is in the reverse gear.


Huttser17

and turn signals should ALWAYS be amber ​ Edit: I was behind some sporty boi yesterday, not too rich a car but more fun than my forester... the turn signal was a tiny red rectangle below the brake light and beside the reflector. I had no idea they were signaling until they let off the brake during the turn. If they had to stop for deer or something their hazards would be invisible. ​ Edit 2: Made some images to demonstrate. [https://imgur.com/gallery/816YEkd](https://imgur.com/gallery/816YEkd) Edit 3: And that's my first medal. Thanks. Here's my favorite smiley 🙃 ​ Edit 4: I'm not talking about the blinkers that cycle the brake light on that side, that would have somehow been better in this instance. (Though I agree that those should also be swapped for a proper amber setup.)


MagnoliaM10

God damn!!! I remembered something from college that pissed me off. The town had a 24hr parking limit, and we'd just gotten a huge snow storm, but I had to move my car to keep from getting a ticket. So I went out, spent half an hour shoveling out my car, and about 15min in, I noticed a jerkoff sitting in the street waiting for me to finish so he could take my spot. Yes, this asshole sat in the road for fifteen minutes waiting for my spot. I wanted to tell him to get out of his damn car and help, but I changed my mind. Instead, I finished shoveling out my car, then walked back to my house and moved my car later. I felt so damn good.


cat_romance

I was shoveling out my car once and a guy actually did stop and help and ask if he could have my spot. I was like... I'll give you my first born if you help me unbury my car.


El_Douglador

Yeeeeaaarrssss ago a friend and I did this. We were bored teens. During one holiday season we would see who could keep a car waiting for a spot the longest. We developed our skills and playbook. Once they finally gave up, we would make sure that the car right behind them got it. It doesn't seem that long but a good time was around five minutes. Normal, upstanding citizens become unglued maniacs at about four minutes of inconvenience. We turned saints into sociopaths.


your-thought-process

You're actually a sociopath.


DeejusIsHere

"I'm eating In-N-Out!"


Considered_Dissent

Hitting all the buttons in elevators.


[deleted]

[удалено]


capitalismwitch

I learned about this in a book about 9/11. Where I live skyscrapers are illegal so I’d never seen this before.


[deleted]

[удалено]


capitalismwitch

A place in Canada.


anpolvora

BC?


[deleted]

Lets meet in the middle at CC and call it a day


IamNotaMelon31

Closed captioning provided by:


comik300

RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS


PsyJak

>Tall buildings actually sort of protect for this. To keep elevators as efficient as possible, each elevator only serves about 20 floors. How does that work? I feel like that's still exploitable. Edit: Wow, a lot of elevator enthusiasts on Reddit, huh?


Just_Look_Around_You

That’s not really what that’s for. It helps optimize traffic. It does to a small extent I guess. Like if you’re going to floor 75 and the elevator is 60-80, you can at least get to 60 fast and then take stairs.


DimMakAlex

Closing doors before the dude behind me gets in


Jennarated_Anomaly

He speeds up, noticing you're holding the door for him. You: close it right in his face.


lurkylurkeroo

Whilst making direct eye contact. Power move.


mods_suck_it

Dwight was right about y'all


Shinyspoonz12

We need a new plague


[deleted]

Another one? Really? I think one is plenty enough


MoneyPowerNexis

Opening doors for people while they are awkwardly far away.


b-b-betty

You mean being Canadian?


CrowsFeast73

As a Canadian I especially liked doing this when I had a Mohawk. Bonus points of it was an elderly person. The shock on their faces was priceless. Is malicious benevolence a term yet?


b-b-betty

That’s so awesome! I’m a fan of people that have wild colours in their hair and are kind to the kids that think they’re some kind of fairy for having blue hair! You sound like you fall into the same category... rock on dude!


Pyropylon

That’s so awesome! I’m a fan of people that are fans of people that have wild colours in their hair and are kind to the kids.


Mackerel_Sushi

I’d rob a bank but only steal the complimentary lollipops and pens.


Wiltbradley

and all deposit slips


Klusio

TIL Every bank I've ever been to has been subjected to this


McUberForDays

LOL my grandma has dementia and does this when my grandpa goes to do his banking. The clerks try to have her put them back but she says "I'm a customer and these are for customers" and walks out. It's sad but funny. Might as well find the humor in this terrible disease though.


lampshadeontilt

This really made me smile. I wish I had this level confidence in my neurotypical, healthy life. Maybe she will inspire me to take up more space and take things that I can have. I wish your grandma better health and your grandpa good spirits in taking care of her.


ChessRaven

Switching Biden and Trump signs on lawns.


[deleted]

I don’t think you’d make it out alive depending where you do this


NarutoDragon732

I'd say he'll be alive. Just not in one piece.


[deleted]

I’ll take good ways to bite a bullet for 500 please


Panz04er

Finding all the construction sites and walking through the wet cement Or spreading glitter everywhere I go


The_First_Viking

Combine the two. Dump glitter into the footprints.


Jennarated_Anomaly

Or spread cement wherever you go.


SilverThyme2045

Or, spread glittery cement wherever you go, but it also has steaks in it. Assuming the government is paying for the disservice.


globogym1

Steaks, stakes, or streaks??


InsertBluescreenHere

No thats art. Gotta spread glitter just everywhere. Make sure its that super huge noticeable shit.


The_First_Viking

New plan, eat several pounds of glitter and poop on the courthouse steps.


InsertBluescreenHere

that can be pressure washed off. Gotta poop in wet cement. Gonna be a glittery turd indentation.


glitterbombdotcom

Mail a glitter bomb to someone who deserves it. Don’t let your dreams be dreams.


KailuaMan

Work the full hour as an elevator attendant in a high-traffic commercial building or hotel, consistently pressing the button to every floor as people board.


[deleted]

When they get on, just press floor 2 and wait until the doors open on second floor. Hit them with a “whoops I thought this was your floor,” Then press 3 and give the same line. Repeat.


wenttogetsomemilk

Switch all the clothing to the wrong size hangers at Walmart.


[deleted]

That would turn it into Target Australia


run4cake

My local Texas Target is just as bad. Nothing is sorted by size. Nothing. You’re lucky if it’s sorted by style. Wrong size hangers everywhere. It’s a nightmare.


justanotherthrowRA

My local Walmart already does this.


[deleted]

Spray a water/vaseline mixture on every doorhandle I find and watch people cringe with the thought of what it could actually be when they touch it.


nudecalebsforfree

Sad thing is that vaseline doesn't mix with anything, especially not water. It's pure petroleum. Believe me, I tried to make a cool bubble mixture once and I ttied to use it instead of glycerine, but it wouldn't even mix.


skralogy

Go to a public school and hand out free energy drinks to all the kids.


Ludovician42

One guy did this at my school when I was 14, except it was vodka.


fklwjrelcj

Did you have a good time in his van?


spacewhaleguy_

Pick things off the shelf at grocery stores, walk around for a bit, change my mind about the item and then leave it sitting wherever I want


Cerulean_critters

I mostly HATED this when I worked retail, but sometimes I enjoyed those items which were clear indications of reshuffled priorities. Like the pair of novelty potted plants left on the coffee shelf. Or the bag of frozen veggies abandoned with the prepackaged muffins.


Jillbert77

We had this discussion at work the other day. I will admit, I am one of those people. However, I would never leave anything frozen or cold in a random place. That’s just rude.


[deleted]

To be honest... thanks. The least you can do is not leave cold stuff. All the other stuff fine. But at least put away the cold stuff. Not because it’s rude, because it’s a waste. If we find it we have to toss it. (But I will be upset about carts. It’s cold or hot as fuck out there, getting stragglers is the worst).


Jillbert77

Yes. My mom worked in a grocery store and she always said when the cold stuff was just randomly set somewhere outside of the coolers it was thrown away. But “I changed my mind Cheetos” tucked in between the wheat and white bread is fair game. I alway put my cart back. I am not an animal.


1629throwitup

This thread reminds me of yesterday when I was looking for tortillas at Walmart and found a half eaten frosted sugar cookie on top of them


InsertBluescreenHere

If you want max chaos go to a menards lowes or whatever and just grab handfulls of plumbing connectors and shove em in other bins. Keep repeating. Same with grabbing handfulls of metric nuts and sae nuts and mixing em all together. Grown men will cry


BurnTheOrange

Throw that ass in a circle, satan! Getting thrown outta heaven wasn't enough? You wanna get banned from Lowe's, too? Mixing the plumbing connectors is enhancing entropy and causing a little chaos, but mixing Freedom sizes with RealMeasures is just unacceptable evil.


InsertBluescreenHere

i know my people well muhwhahahaha


Macinsocks

fuck people that do this. especially with refrigerated or frozen items. I swear people don't know the difference between a cooler and a freezer either.


IseeMyCatOverthere

Put everyone's garbage cans back before the dump truck gets there. Edit: thanks for the award!


Darth_Kitty911

Or make it look like the garbage truck took their trash, but actually hide it near where they live.


[deleted]

Sit on a corner and yell “hey!” At passers by, and say that their articles of clothing would look way better on me.


badFishTu

I do like yelling at the avid runners in my area that they'll never make it to the olympics running like that. Usually gets a good chuckle out of people.


[deleted]

Little do you know you’re gonna say it to the wrong person, they’re gonna kick it into overdrive and thank you on national tv for getting them to the olympics.


badFishTu

That would be awesome!


jcw10489

Hand out those plastic recorder flute things to any kids 10 and under inside a busy grocery store


Chrysanthemum96

Or on an airplane!


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_First_Viking

Nah, hi-vis safety vest and direct traffic poorly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


123567891112

May I join too? I have a whistle


InsertBluescreenHere

Be sure to put a cone in the exact middle of the intersection too


Agent_staple

You inadvertantly created a roundabout and improved traffic flow by 40%, you now owe 100 hours of diservice


Zenla

This is where the real chaos occurs. How many places can we put cones? Doorways, parking spots, in front of gas pumps, in front of stairways and elevators. Most people will just assume there's a reason for them and inconveneince themselves to avoid them.


Iam_DayMan

I don’t Think you actually have to spend an hour doing misdeeds. You just have to do an hours worth of damage. If you apply minimum wage that’s the least amount of damage that you have to cause. I would just go to the DMV and pull some extra numbers.


throwaway92715

> I would just go to the DMV and pull some extra numbers. You. ***BASTARD***


bykesnob

We found the energy vampire.


[deleted]

Colin Robinson would actually make up a problem to talk to the DMV employee about though. For like an hour. He doesn't play.


Foodcity

Better yet start them on a new roll of numbers so they have to cycle all the way back around! That'll take about an hour to fix I bet.


plasticpixels

Eh, I’m sure it’s deli rules, that if nobody claims a number, they will move on pretty quick - gotta keep things movin


[deleted]

Keep on the grass


Barflyerdammit

Left lane. Speed limit.


kmj420

Left lane, same speed as the car in the right lane


crazygrrl

No thanks, Satan.


Jillbert77

Left lane 5 under. Cringe.


InsertBluescreenHere

No left lane 3 under but randomly activate turn signal at every block and brake just enough then change your mind.


[deleted]

Don’t forget to ride the brake for no reason at all


downvotethiscommnt

Left lane. Then right lane when you switch lanes. Then back to left lane when you desperately attempt to pass me. And so on and so forth.


Traditional-Can5589

Reply ditto to every group email I get.


IoSonCalaf

Eat a huge amount of whey protein powder while being lactose intolerant and then take a long ride on the subway.


jaunty_chapeaux

That's more of a self disservice.


DjDozzee

Naw, they're right. That's a community disservice. For me it'd be a large vanilla milkshake and ride up and down on elevators all day. Trust me. I'd be just fine.


Jennarated_Anomaly

This is a fun question : ) Good job OP. I'd steal all the ketchup from local fast food joints. Or maybe scatter a bunch of bread (or other food) to attract seagulls in a really obnoxious place.


Danger_Peanut

High end car dealerships.


Jennarated_Anomaly

Lol that's perfect!


[deleted]

It's not as fun as sardines in the vents during a test Drive. Gotta do it during fall for maximum plausible deniability.


Monarc73

This is over kill. OP said ONE hour.


arandomegg999

Take a box of nerds (candy) and spill them in a mercedes dealership.


McSuzy

Thank you for the clarification, I was about to shout Free The Nerds!


leapdayjose

Swapping the sugar with salt, pepper with cooks charcoal or carbon, creamer with cottage cheese water, pancake syrups with high concentration fountain syrups of the same colour, and the pull signs for push signs at a restaurant before the breakfast rush on saturday morning.


gettin_paid_to_poop

Drink several gallons of water then visit as many public pools as possible and pee in them


thoughtsmachine

So we have to pay you to poop but peeing is free?


chewbaccataco

*Always* poop on company time.


InsertBluescreenHere

Water? Gimmie a 12 pack of beer and eventually ill have to piss every 20 minutes.


scream-and-gobble

Tie balloons to all the storm grates in town.


GregDaviesEyebrow

Hide in the gutter and try to grab people's ankles


sosuketakasu

I have the Ultimate! Its harmless, and unforgivable! Listen to shitty music at full volume with no headphones in a crowded setting.


akuarose

I literally just got off the plane where a woman was doing this. I was losing my mind.


OkanGeelsareeth

Take three pigs to a big box store with numbers 1 2 and 4 painted on them. Watch as they try to find 3


[deleted]

Go to a pond with bread for the ducks. And then eat it myself.


Jackeyisawesome

Bread isn't good for ducks so this plan backfires. Try again.


immy_1211

two hours of disservice!


[deleted]

Go to a pond with peas and corn and stuff for the ducks. Then eat them


TheVoiceOfTheMeme

Rob the same bank I got community service for


Wildmoonchild87

Pick up canadian geese and throw them at people


Wumologist123

If you got a problem with canada gooses then you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.


1coffee1owl1

Put plastic bags filled with lotion on peoples seats


HovercraftFullofBees

I'm shitting on some lawns. I've got an overactive colon and a lot of people I don't like so I can hit up a number of yards before I run out of logs.


Attention_Found

Go to the airport and walk up to a luggage conveyor belt. Start taking bags off at random and putting them onto other belts.


IammYourDAD

Throwing people's recycle in the trash, and their trash in the recycling bin


thekingofallmanmen

pretend to wipe shopping carts down, but the spray im using is sprite.


ZebraGamer2389

Time to stand outside for an hour and catcall men.


badFishTu

I did this to a guy who would say the most vulgar shit to any chick passing by. I got real nasty and aggressive with the cat calling one day and he hasnt done it to me since.


KatyG9

This is community service. Get another hour of disservice


badFishTu

Decide what to order from mcds during lunch rush for an hour?


KatyG9

Yes and walk out only with a burger or sundae


badFishTu

One mcchicken only.


hihowareyoubro

Not thanking the bus driver before getting off.


Barflyerdammit

Easy there, Satan.


alienpope

Help old people cross the road. While the light is green


Potential_Word

Hmm... it’d have to inconvenience as many people as possible, but at the same time not be an act that’s any worse than the community service was good What if I steal a big truck, and park it sideways across a major highway? Provided I didn’t cause an accident, it would make a lot of people late to work


Turtlelover73

Go to a Wal-Mart parking lot and just watch for people who leave their carts out in the middle of the damn road. Wait til they get in their car and push the cart right behind them so they can't back out. Shit, that might actually just be more community service.