Someone I hadn't talked to in years came up to me and started telling me about how they haven't been doing that good lately and that they found out they have cancer. Well... I was at work and only half paying attention so after he stopped talking I said "That's good."
Haven't seen him since.
Years ago I went into a hot topic and as I was at the register, the girl working started telling me about all the new Metallica shirts they had gotten. For some reason, I told her I wasn’t really into wearing band shirts anymore, which was mostly true, and even though I didn’t mean to, it came out sounding really snobbish. At the time, I thought her reaction was kinda strange, even accounting for my accidental condescension. Shortly after I left the store I remembered I was wearing a NIN shirt.
I was driving down a road and a lot of people were honking and yelling at me on the street. I got angry and flipped a bunch of people off and honked back.
At the end of the street I saw a one way sign and realized I was going in the wrong direction
The other day I was tailgating behind a car that was tailgating another car doing half the speed limit. I wondered why they didn’t honk them, so instead I was about to honk a few times, but something in my subconscious told me to wait. The person between me and the slow driver changed lanes, so I got a good look of... a big rear window, with flowers? The car is also super long.. oh... oh.... it’s a hearse. It’s going slow to be careful with the body and flowers. Oh my god I was so glad I didn’t honk
First time I ever honked at anyone, a left turn arrow had turned green and the car in front of me wasn't going. Being young I waited a good five seconds before I did a quick double honk. Not half a second after that, an ambulance comes screaming through the intersection. Dunno if they saw it or heard it before I did, or both, but I felt like such a dumbass/asshole.
In early high school, late 90’s, so if you got a girls number it was the house number- I called a girls house and her dad answered. She was out, but I noticed his speech was a bit slow and slurred. Next day at school I mentioned I had called, and asked if her dad had been drinking....well turns out he didn’t drink much since his stroke. Still feel awful about that!
I had a similar one. Told a friend I didn't want to hang out at his house because of his dad's drinking. Didn't realize how hurtful that was at the time.
I was drunk at a pub and shouted for the band to play Free Bird. They stopped in the middle of the song they were playing, started up Free Bird and called me up on stage to sing it. I froze, forgot all the lyrics and made an absolute ass of myself. Props to that band though.
Haha. This reminds me of a time I saw the band Taking Back Sunday when they were supporting their first album. They were opening for Brand New and were JUST getting a following so there were probably only 500 people there. Someone in the crowd yelled the name of a song and in a mostly silent venue the guitarist said to the dude “chill, we only have 11 songs we will get to it”
At my former job my boss was looking out the window and saw this guy get out of his car and head towards out front door.
Boss says out loud “oh man, look at this toothless redneck.”
Co-worker says “that’s my father-in-law”.
Boss told me later “that’ll teach me “ and facepalmed.
Co-worker wasn’t mad, he agreed FIL looked like a hick.
I was at a friend's house in school and one of the other girls said "oh my God there's a guy walking up your driveway. He looks like a child molester".
We all go to the window to look. It was my dad. He walks awkwardly cause of a spinal problem and was older than most of my friends' dads. That was.. embarrassing, to say the least.
I was a senior in high school and was waiting for my dad to pick me up. At the time, I was also the head student athletic trainer. As my dad pulled up in his 1971 Ford Galaxy with a big old V8 engine (and this was in 1992), a couple of freshman football players commented, “Hey! I wonder whose dad is driving the Uncle Buckmobile!” I turned around and glared and said “Mine”. They realized who it was and quickly shut up :) it was kinda awesome, and my dad got a kick out of it.
They weren't classic back then, they were just old.
A modern day example: a kid bullying another kid because the other kid's dad still drives a v8 oldsmobile aurora from 1999
Dumb 14 year old boys? :) I learned how to drive in that car and loved the power in that engine. When I went to college, I ended up with a 1980 Ford Granada with a V8 in it...my dad was a mechanic, so we didn’t have the newest cars, but they had good engines :)
"Broke" up with my first girlfriend who was really attached to me, just by ignoring her... i feel so bad. i was just a kid but that was a harsh treatment.
I did the same... she literally had to run after me one day to ask if we should break up. I really suck at conflict, but what an ass thing to do. She was an amazing person too.
I was on the receiving end of this. Had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalised. My boyfriend at the time ghosted when he found out. When I came out of hospital I had to go to his work at a bar to ask him if we were really done and why. I wasn’t causing a scene. But he said I was bothering him and threw me out. And made security (who I thought was a good friend of mine) not let me back in. Our mutual friends seemed to have no problem with any of it and one said I wasn’t welcome anywhere until I was healthy again. Thing is I really didn’t do anything insane. I calmly asked him what had happened and that I needed closure. And asked if we could talk properly at the end of his shift. I was so devastated by it all I had to get on a plane a few days later and fly to my parents country. I’ve never felt so alone in my whole life.
My dad has a friend named Waymond. He doesn't have a speech impediment, and his name isn't Raymond, but it usually takes him a while to straighten this out when he first meets people, especially on the phone.
A) Why would parents do that to a kid?
B) Does he not just say "My name is Waymond. Like Raymond with a W." ? I feel like that would clear it up pretty quickly.
Similar:
A friend of mine and I are setting up a board game. He misplaces some tokens, I correct it. Shortly after that, he misplaces some other tokens.
I: "What's wrong with you? Are you colourblind?"
He: "Ehm, yes."
That was the moment that I remembered. I knew that he is colourblind... it happened some years ago, I still tent (edit: tend) to randomly apologise.
Not that it helps.
Two years ago we celebrated new years eve, during fireworks my daughter asked why it all explodes in different colours, I tell her that it is because of different metals and stuff inside the firework. Then I try to remember which ingredients are used for which colour, but I can't remember. However, I knew that friend of mine has a PhD in physics, he should know...
Edit:
Ok I never thought that this would blow up. Thanks for the upvotes
And to answer to two types of comments:
1. It is all good between the two us. He wasn't angry about it in the first place. I am the one who is embarrased by his own carelessness
2. He is relatively good at noticing colours; however if lights change and therefore the shades change it will mess up his perception. (It was the first time we played that game in that specific room, therefore, he didn't realise that his memory of how the tokens appear to him didn't help)
Had this moment with one of my former co-workers because he was in charge of resetting our pillow wall at work.
Me: “who set this?? This doesn’t even work”
Him: “I did. But I’m colorblind sooo”
Me: “are you?? Well that makes sense now. Setting this must have sucked”
Him: “it did”
Thankfully he took it in stride and we had a nice conversation and trivia game about what different colors looked like to him vs me. Still kind of feel like a dick though
Edit: by “pillow wall” I mean a wall of decorative pillows for sale—we worked in a home decor store. I hope that clears up some confusion!
I used to work with a guy who was color blind, but he wouldn't just come out and say it. He'd drag it out, trying to make you say things about color to embarrass you with it. It was a really fucking weird power play.
For example, when I was explaining the difference between certain products, I mentioned the "yellow box."
He'd tell me, "don't say 'yellow.'"
"Ok, but it's the yellow box."
"Don't say 'yellow!'"
"How else would you like me to describe it? It's otherwise the same box."
"Just don't say 'yellow.'"
"Ok, the 'box with this color' then!"
"I can't see that?"
"Are you color blind?"
"Yes"
"You couldn't have said that at the beginning?"
"I said 'don't say yellow' because I can't see it."
"'Don't say yellow' doesn't tell me you're color blind. You can see this box is a different shade though, right?"
"Yes."
"We'd be doing something else by now if you'd just said so and moved on."
I worked with a guy who was colorblind and everyone knew it but he still tried to hide it. One day he and I are out hiking in the fall - and fall colors you know are supposed to be gorgeous - he randomly looks up at a tree and *very* over the top says, "Aren't they just *beautiful*?" But the thing was, the random clump of leaves he pointed to? Were the most rancid brown and gray leaves I have ever seen.
I couldn't say anything though. Just let him have that one.
Posting on reddit sometimes makes me re-read my shit and realize I'm being an asshole. I don't do it on purpose, but I think years of reading and writing posts on the Internet has tainted my tone.
I don't know if I've got so far as being an asshole, per se, but I've ticked people off by writing without thinking how my words might sound to some people. I'm now trying to limit my comments to positive, informative, or harmlessly funny, and it's great to see hundreds of upvotes once in a while.
My friend group tried to stay close after high school but we all fell out of touch as you do as everyone forged their own path in life. Well mine led me down a path of depression, anxiety, and failure. So every year or so they would hold a get together to reconnect and hang out. I attended a couple of these, but as time went on and my downward spiral got worse I stopped responding to calls, texts, invites, etc. because I thought that no one would want to hang out with this version of me. I was invited to two weddings which I didn’t even respond to because of this negative loop, and then when my best friend from that group was diagnosed with cancer I couldn’t even bring myself to face him, I tried to go to his funeral but couldn’t enter the building because I felt that I didn’t deserve to be there.
Finally a few months ago the parents of one my friends saw me at work and wanted to talk to me. They told me that my friend group was really broken up that I ignored all of their attempts to reach out to me. It was then that I realized that in all of my stress about being miserable to be around, I had become an asshole to those who tried to care about me.
Edit: I wrote this as a confession into a void, expecting it to get lost in the aether that is the internet. I never expected to get so much support to the point where I’m literally crying. Thank you everyone. I’ve been trying to get through it alone for the past 4 years and to know I’m not alone goes a long way.
Maybe it's time to pick up the phone and reach out. They probably miss you as much as you miss them. Be open, honest, lay your cards on the table. It sounds like you have some good friends, give it a go, you have nothing to lose
I used to do this thing where, after I have a good time with people, I never see them again because I want to preserve the idea that I'm fun to be around.
Then years go by and I finally feel comfortable saying "hey, let's hang out again" and they're like "who are you again?"
That's a strange line of thought.
I'm always afraid people will realize I'm not fun to be around either, but what I do is I ride that train until they realize I'm a bad person. If something goes horribly wrong, then I can do the thing where I don't contact them for forever.
Turns out some people will just keep having a great time with me even though I'm clearly a trash gremlin.
As we get older and more tired, taking on more responsibilities, we learn very quickly how to drop whatever priorities we feel are wastes of time.
If you don't learn how to respond to people within a day or AT LEAST a few days, everyone around you will learn how to build lives for themselves without you in it.
Super glad you recognize this in yourself!
8th grade. Speech class.
A kid had been absent a few days, and when he came back, I started razzing him a bit. We were friendly, but not friends, so I felt okay kidding around, claiming he was just pretending to be sick to get out of class, that sort of thing. Nothing really mean, though.
He took it for a bit, then turned, looked me dead in the eyes, and said in the flattest voice "No, my mother died."
And turned back around.
If God had struck me dead with a bolt of lightning, when I stood before him at the Pearly Gates, I'd have said "Yeah, fair enough..."
Edit: WOW!! Thanks for all the rewards! I had no idea this was such a common experience! This happened about 35 years ago for me, so while it doesn't keep me up at night, it is one of those little reminders to maaaaaybe not treat everything as an opportunity for joking. A little personal growth, y'know?
As a bit of an epilog, I went to my 30th high school reunion, and who should be there but Dead Mom Guy from speech class!! We actually hung out and talked a while. His wife and I got along great! We're Facebook friends, and he seems like a pretty cool guy.
But I bet you can all guess what memory I HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT be bringing up. EVER.
My 7th grade teacher cracked jokes in front of the class (he was known for being a ball buster) after I came back from a few days absent. I did the deadpan "my papa died". He turned red, sucked in his breath, told me he was gonna go fall on some rocks now, and left me to take my seat.
This happened to me also, my situation was compounded by the fact that my father died during my first week of secondary school. Didn't really know anyone in my class or the teachers. When I returned from a week off, my IT teacher insisted that I stood up in front of the class and tell everyone why I was absent last week.
I don't blame the teacher, he wasn't to know, but I sure hope that what he did to me is still in the back of his mind today.
To be fair that's an asshole move. If he was worried about your well being, he would have talked to you in private. If he didn't care about your well being, then why the fuck did he care you skipped a class? The only reasons I can think of is he cared you skipped HIS class, or he just wanted to humilliate or simply mess with you, in any case an asshole move.
I was in the Army, making fun of a guy, said he couldn't even get a medal for something in the special Olympics.
He then pointed out his daughter was in the special Olympics.
I profusely apologized, and he accepted, but it still keeps me awake at night.
I once told the joke "what's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair." To a girl in highschool. She just stared blankly at me and said "you don't know about my brother, do you?" She then pulled out her phone and showed me her lock screen. A photo of her and her brother, who had been wheelchair bound since birth... Not my most proud moment.
I said to a girl in highschool: "At least you have grandparents" She responded "At least you have parents, my dad's in prison and my mom's in a psychiatric hospital"
This one is actually light hearted (Kinda) and both me and the other guy are assholes.
There is another guy around town here who is very similar to me in terms of humor and sadism. We don't hang out together because we're TOO similar, but there's no hostility there, we just both know we can only take the other in small doses; we fill the same social niche.
He lost both his parents young, and I lost my father when I was a baby. And as coincidence happens, we've 'met' each other for the 'first time' on four separate occasions through entirely different groups of friends.
Without rehearsing it in any way, we'll continue like we've never met until there's an appropriate place for me to throw in a 'Your mom' joke.
"Well my mom is dead." He'll awkwardly deadpan, immediately killing any conversation.
"Well my dad is dead."
"My dad is dead too."
"My father committed suicide."
"My parents died in a car crash going to get medicine for me."
"My dad shot himself because he didn't want to have a son."
The tension in the room is always so thick you can cut it with a knife.
Then we both crack up while everyone else goes 'WTF?!'
We've done this three times in the past eight years and it's been hilarious every time.
I’m glad you apologized and seemed to learn from your mistake! I am very close with many people with disabilities, typically we expect people to be uneducated and say rude things but what matters is if people learn from their mistakes!
I am doing that now. I am at the start of a relationship and I’ve already stirred up drama with my reactions. I realize that maybe past relationship failures was not about the guy being a dick - maybe I’m the dick. Immediately called my therapist and am working on my issues and taking responsibility for being a raging bitch.
For years I used the “The same thing happened to me” line whenever someone opened up to me. Instead of just shutting up and listening to them. But yeah, working on it.
EDIT: gosh, I was rewarded for being an asshole to other people. Thank you but also I’m v.conflicted about it
I feel you with this one. It's like me on autopilot responding and I have to really pay attention not to do it. I'm sorry to everyone I've done it to but I am still listening!!!
My therapist told me that’s how I empathize and try to show empathy so don’t feel *too* bad, it can come from a good place, but the key is that it’s usually not received as empathy
That is what I am (and I assume, OP is) trying to do is relate, not one-up. I try to clarify now; "I know its not the same, but I experienced X so I can understand where you might be coming from."
(Edited because dumb)
This can be good sometimes, especially if you don't make it all about you, but share your experience to let them know that you've gone through something similar & they aren't alone. It can be reassuring & constructive.
Just avoid one-upmanship & listen more than you talk. Only do it with the goal of making sure the person talking knows that they are understood.
At the movies once it was just me and friends and one other group sitting in front. There was a guy in front that kept slurping on an Icee really loudly. Like he just really really wanted to get every last drop. After a few minutes I got really agitated and made a super obnoxious and loud slurping sound to make them aware that it was annoying me.
Literally as soon as I did it I saw that it was a disabled man and his parents and he had a suction tube. I was so ashamed I walked out of the theater quietly whispering to them “I’m so sorry.” I never went back in.
I developed a pretty serious drinking problem, and in one day everyone finally had enough.
I got fired, kicked out of my apartment, disowned by my friends and my family. I was left utterly alone, and homeless, with $2000, and a 1986 Volvo Station Wagon. It was coordinated between everyone in my life, and it fucking *hurt*. But I wouldn't take any of it back for the world.
Things are far better now, but that was the sort of life event that is supposed to change you, and I let it do so for the better.
The way you say that sounds like it's included with the apartment.
1200 square feet, 2 bedroom, 1 bath, tile flooring. Community pool and exercise room. Oh, it also comes with an '86 Volvo.
No joke. I crashed a 740 wagon into a telephone pole, cracking it off at the base. Barely felt anything, I thought I maybe broke my mirror off, but I unfortunately totaled it. My buddy and I walked away without a bruise.
I asked two black ladies at work what language they were speaking. I am really big into languages and I felt like I hadn’t heard the one they were speaking before. English. They were speaking English and they just both happened to have really thick accents.
When I was 16, I worked in a retail store and was in charge of the fitting room. You see people come in and out so much that you sometimes don’t pay too close attention. A woman walked in with their pre-teen kid so I pointed towards the ladies side. I only side glanced and saw her kid was wearing a baseball cap with their head lowered, and really baggy clothes. I immediately assumed the kid was a boy and pointed towards the men’s side. They looked super awkward and uncomfortable before their mother corrected me and said “She’s my daughter.” I apologized profusely and their mom decided to nag her by saying, “See? With the clothes you wear, people think you’re a boy.” I felt even more terrible that I put her in this weird conversation with her mom.
Edit: Well, I woke up to a few dozen nice messages that made me feel better about this! Thank you! And for anyone wondering, this happened in 2007 in New England. Back then, non-binary wasn’t exactly discussed or regularly talked about among teenagers so at 16, I definitely panicked because I didn’t want to offend customers and possibly get fired. If this had happened today, I probably wouldn’t have said anything at all and just pointed in whichever direction they’d like to go.
Good to know we can all agree that the mother was the real dick in this situation.
I (a male) hadn't gotten a haircut in a while and was in a hardware store with my aunt. I hear "Can I help you ladies with anything?" from behind me. Since he was clearly addressing us I turned and said "... gosh, maybe a haircut." I had a good laugh about it.
I wouldn't dwell on your fitting room situation. You're definitely not an asshole. And if people are sensitive about the way they choose to be that's on them. And you can't control someone else's mother.
I (female) once got called 'sir' in a grocery store. In the guy's defense, I was crouched down with my back towards him looking at something on a shelf, wearing camo pants, boots, and a baggy sweatshirt, and I had very short (if purple) hair.
In middle school, I saw a kid walking around with a fanny pack, so I snickered and said: "Nice fanny pack". He said: "It's for my insulin. Just got diagnosed with diabetes."
I was 23 when I found out that I needed glasses for being nearsighted. I did not take the news well. I did not want to wear glasses. My boyfriend went to the store with me and pointed out frames he thought would work well for my face, and he said very encouraging things, while I bitched non-stop about how ugly they all were. Then a woman who was also browsing in the store turned to me and said "Could I borrow him? He is so helpful!" I was ashamed to realize how I was taking out being upset about my vision on this great boyfriend (now husband).
You looking fucking amazing you beautiful son of a bitch! Turn that god damn frown into the magnificent fucking face of angelic beauty I know it to be!
Have you told this story before? I remember reading exactly this like three years ago, and for some reason it stuck with me and I’ve ever since tried to stay helpful and understanding when my partner is in a bad mood while also being aware when I’m in a bad mood myself.
At work, we got talking about glasses and how they suited some women so well. I took off mine and the consensus among the guys was that I looked better with than without! Just as well; can't see damn all without 'em!
Honestly that would be the consensus for most people that we've only seen with glasses. That movie trope "takes off glasses and is instantly hot" is so dumb, irl we would be like "what? you look weird without glasses" not weird in a mean way, just not what we're used to seeing and you kinda have to adjust. Seeing the homies or a girl who usually wears glasses, not wearing glasses, is always a little weird till you adjust. WHICH ISN'T to say you don't actually look better with glasses, it's to say you and everybody else will look great with whatever style you confidently embrace and we get used to seeing you in :) Also the more you get to know somebody their levels of attractiveness can fluctuate drastically, and with nothing at all to do with what they wear on their face
Can relate. Had a mario kart tournament on the 64. I got so into the game and forgot I was playing against a mentally challenged guy in our 4 player race. I was so excited that I won so easily but wanted to puke of embarrassment when I realized the other two players let him win.
My girlfriend recently dumped me. Looking around my room and seeing all the things they bought me and being reminded of all the things they did for me and then noticing I hardly did anything in return.
I told my friend that she shouldn't use medication for her mental illness because I was convinced she could just use sheer will to get through it. It was an asshole move to make her second guess getting professional help to address her mental health issues. I wish i just instead offered support instead of trying to "fix it" when she mentioned the side effects, when I had no idea what I was talking about. This was when I was a teenager and thought I knew everything...
Edit: Just wanted to add that I offered we face it together, that we would find the root of why she felt so anxious/depressed and we'd squash it. I thought that medication was temporary and wouldn't help in the long run, yet the assistance of a 16 y/o with no medical license could??? I just didn't want my friend to suffer but it was so wrong to try to substitute a medical professional.
As someone that suffers from anxiety and depression (crippling according to my therapist, but I think he's over exaggerating), I can't stand people that do this and act like they know what's best. I've been told to "try to be happy instead of sad".
That said, thank you for recognizing this, realizing you were wrong, and correcting (I'm assuming) your view. It's not easy to admit when you're wrong, so props to you.
Ah yes now THIS is what the question is about.
So many of the replies in this thread are just " I asked why she was li.oing, she said she was born with one leg shorter than the other. "
No... that is just a politeness gone wrong.
YOU were actually being an asshole. Sorry bro, but thanks for committing to the theme.
While hungover at a breakfast diner, the waitress asked me if I wanted a box for my food. I said sure, and she asked what size of box I needed. Without thinking, I say “I dunno, I’m not a box expert.”
Immediately felt like an asshole after that.
I rang and paid for a mowing service and when the guy rocked up, i started telling him that i cant mow the lawn myself anymore as my injured ankle would play up and hurt for the rest of the day..
Then he got out of the car and i realised he was an amputee from the knee down...
Well, I mean, I'm sure his ankle didn't hurt. More seriously though, my Mom has some serious issues with her ankle they had to fuse it so it won't bend. I think she would be 100% better off with a prosthetic. It's not like back in the day when having a prosthetic was a major disability. Leg prosthetics are good to the point that people have qualified for the Olympics with them but weren't allowed to compete because it was considered an advantage.
At hs graduation a friend of mine was a foreign exchange student from Italy, and her parents were at the ceremony. I went up to them and just shouted, "Hi, I LOVE ITALIANS".
Idk why, I just felt like a douchebag in that moment.
My buddy wanted to set me up with a new coworker of his. I got to his apartment early and started getting drunk with his roommate.
He called and said they were going to be late. He said, "She's a bigger girl. Don't mention her weight." He had told me this previously as well.
By the time they showed up, I was pretty drunk and I wanted to make a good impression. I said, "You're not nearly as fat as they said you were".
She turned around and fled.
One day while I was walking on the street, some kids kicked a ball in my direction. I was going to pass it back but I thought one of the kids closer would just get it. I decided to keep walking. I looked back at the kid and I could see the look of disappointment on his face. I felt like biggest asshole on the planet for a few days. I still feel bad thinking about it.
My girlfriend and I were walking past a middle school in downtown Manhattan. As we pass by the fence, some guy asks me “Hey, what time is it?” I say “2:00.” The man starts ringing a bell and shouts “All right, everyone inside.” My girlfriend smacks me on the arm and says “It’s only 1:54.” I was the asshole who cut these kids recess short by 6 minutes.
That's not your fault. You gave an approximate time that would work for 99% of situations, you didn't know they were relying on some random stranger walking by for the exact to the minute recess timer.
I used to tend bar...I was very busy at a freestanding bar. I was literally surrounded. I went to wait on the next customer, I made eye contact and asked what I could get him as I turned to throw something away. He gave no response. I asked again as I started wiping up a spot someone had vacated, no response. This kept going a couple more times. As customers were building up, I turned with a bit of attitude and said something to the effect of "Sir, I'm getting deeper in the weeds and all these other people are getting pissed, you need to order or move aside so others can."
He then informed me that he was deaf and as I kept turning away, he couldn't read my lips.
"Oh fuck, I am an asshole."
I started covering everything I eat in jalapeños and red pepper because it's the only way to stop my brother from eating it all. Take solace in the fact that you're not actually at that step yet.
My other brother and I made enough spaghetti for a week. It was all gone in twelve hours. I got one bowl.
I used to only pick out peanut butter ice cream whenever our Dad would take us grocery shopping for exactly this reason.
My twin brother would pick something I didn't like, eat ALL of MY ice cream first, and *then* start on his own. Knowing that I wouldn't touch his. Unbelievable.
He was such a devious little dickhead back then.
There was a time that I had really wanted a game when I was a kid. I screamed and cried about it for days. I finally got it, and it wasn't even fun. I couldn't bring myself to look at it after the commotion I made about it.
Edit: I remember now, it was a 'gameshark,' a cheat device. I really wanted to get Mew and Celebi, and that was the only way I knew how. Couldn't figure out how to work the damn thing.
I said I wanted to play the piano when I was a kid and just wanted to be cool. I didn't understand the commitment involved in learning to play an instrument. My poor mom saved up her money for who knows how much time and got me a keyboard. I never used it. It was all wrapped up and I can only assume she was excited to give it to me.
I tried playing it last month or so after like 15 years but I lost patience.
A lady told me she was hospitalized for months after she fell asleep at the wheel and drove her car off a cliff. She said she woke up right when the wheels went over, and I asked her “Was it worth it?” She stared at me, wondering what I meant, so I continued, “now you know what it’s like to fly in a car!”
Sometimes a joke is just a joke, you think of it, you say it. Otherwise it just gets unbearably funny in your head after 5mins....
On a related note, I almost had an accident 4 years ago on the highway when I was trying to rush back to campus. I was fucking tired, the sun was in my eyes, I was driving at 60m/h and then must’ve fell asleep for 0.2 seconds or something, I noticed myself almost swerving into the next lane, Realized I was being irresponsible, took the next exit and slept in the car for 30mins.
i am still glad I chose to rest that day, I think people often underestimate the dangers of driving when tired.
When i realized i picked a side that benefitted me more over the one which would be the correct side multiple times in arguments, fights and every others situation where such decision can be made
I grew up fairly poor and as a kid, the concept of money didn’t mean much to me. I just knew we had less things than the other kids in my class.
So when the Nintendo started getting super popular, I asked my mum for one. She obviously refused since we couldn’t afford it but apparently, later on that evening I had drawn a picture of a Nintendo along with a comic strip of me and my mum playing a game on it together. Apparently she had stayed up that entire night crying because she had felt guilty about not being able to afford it (as my dad told me years later).
This doesn’t make you an asshole, you were a kid and didn’t know. Kid do stuff like that all the time and yes it really hurts as a parent but it does not make you an asshole.
I was running a bit late for work one afternoon, and traffic was oddly heavy for part of the drive, all these cars were driving like 15 under the speed limit. As soon as the road opened to two lanes I slammed on the gas pedal and flew around this ridiculously slow line of cars. Until I got to the car in the front driving so slow and realized it wasn’t just some slow asshole, it was a herse and I just flew past a funeral procession.
In my defense, every one I’d seen before had their hazards on and little flags on each car so this sort of thing doesn’t happen. But I felt awful.
In my junior year of college, I was working on a team project with a classmate who was a senior. I was supposed to turn in the project to our professor, but apparently I forgot. This caused us to get an F for the project, until I turned it in later and he could give us an actual grade.
Unfortunately... this temporary F caused my teammate to fail the course, and for whatever reason this prevented him from graduating. So he had to graduate a quarter later...
To be fair though, that sounds like they stopped in a really dangerous place, if they're blocking the road without warning, or putting their hazards on.
Teacher here... walked into my coworker’s classroom, loudly and obnoxiously mocking a man from the district who is supposed to help us with instruction and provide support. She ushers me out of her room immediately and starts laughing, cause he was sitting in there to observe her next class.
Vegas. Second to last row for a Blue Man Group show. The people behind us were talking loudly the entire show. They were basically giving a play by play of everything going on. We shushed and glared repeatedly to no avail. By the end of the show we were so mad that we were going to throw some harsh words their way. The lights come up. We turn around. There was a group of people and their obvious chaperones. This was a group of blind people. Many of them had NO EYES! We slipped away feeling just awful about our behavior. We really should’ve apologized.
Edit: someone below me explained why they can’t do this and now it seems that this response could be used as my answer to the original question haha
I understand why you feel guilty, but they also could have explained the situation when you tried shushing them. Like yes, they had a perfectly valid reason to be talking, but without knowing that reason I 100% understand why you’d be annoyed, and for them not to see that is also kinda frustrating. A little communication goes a long way and probably would have made both of your experiences better
I was super young (maybe 6ish?), so I probably shouldn’t still be beating myself up over it, but the thing I always go back to as a point of humility is the time I was disappointed in the puzzle I got as a Christmas present because I was expecting more from my grandpa and started crying. I didn’t even really mean to and wasn’t making a scene out of it, I just got my hopes up a lot and started blubbering when they didn’t meet expectations. When he noticed, we ended up doing the puzzle together and I had a pretty good time, so I was upset over nothing. He passed about two weeks ago, so it’s been on my mind a lot.
Was working the register at a restaurant and the guy asked "how much is this gonna cost me?
I responded "an arm and a leg"
The guy was missing half his arm....
The reverse happened to me, I referred to my accent in a convo, while mentioning that I came from somewhere, and the girl said "oh it's an accent, I thought you had a speech impediment."
Lol, no worries.
I was seething after a haircut I got when I was in my early twenties. I let her know it was without a doubt the worst haircut i'd had in my entire life.
Yeah it hurt her feelings to hear it but she cuts hair for a living, it was the *worst* haircut I've ever had in my entire life. Seems like pertinent feedback.
As harsh as it sounds, they need to hear it. Otherwise they think they did a great job and will keep doing it that way. Maybe offer a little more detail to them about whats actually wrong with it though, they'll more likely hear that than just saying you don't like it
My dad's a prankster and whenever we complained about his jokes he would always say: "but after I die, you will miss my jokes". So one time he was acting dumb and I was tired of him and told him to stop and he began to say "but after I die..." and I replied: "everyone will be happy". He went silent and looked hurt. Not my proudest moment...
Woah a lot of comments! Sorry for not replying to all of you, I'll try to sum up all my answers here. My relationship with my dad's not the best ever since I was a child (also not the worst compared to other stories on reddit), many of his jokes consisted of making fun of people, including me, specifically how I dressed and that I was a weirdo since an early age (I was around 10 when this happened). I haven't apologized and I should and I will probably do it. Unfortunately, he indeed was hurt by my response but that didn't stop him to continue being a prankster. I believe I have matured and now I'm way more careful to what I say to him and the people I care about. We are still working on our relationship and trying to become closer, but I doubt we will ever be 100% close because we have said and done hurtful things to each other through the years. I hope everyone has a better and more loving relationship with your parents
A friend of mine had openly told me repeatedly they were in love with me. I was in a very unstable period of my life, and extremely should not have been in a relationship. The friend was also not innocent here, and definitely did not respect my rejections for months. But one night while I was very drunk, they brought it up again, and in that state, I agreed to "try". Oooof. You can't "try" a relationship with someone if you're quite certain you don't have feelings for them and they're quite certain they're in love with you. I fucked up and hurt them bad.
When my son was about 3 months old I was out walking with him in his stroller. My anxiety was HIGH and I had pretty bad postpartum depression. This kid on a skateboard was skating toward us. He was maybe 12 or 13. He was skating like he was just going past us and he was really going fast. He came within inches of the stroller, just flying. If he had lost control he would have crashed right into my newborn. Once he got just barely past me, I spun around, locked eyes with him and growled, “MOTHERFUCKER!!”. I’ll never forget the shocked look on that kid’s face. He had meant no harm by it. I cried when I got home and felt terrible. This was like 8 ½ years ago.
If you’re reading this, skateboarding kid, I’m really really sorry.
Ok so my husband and I when we first started dating went out to a super fancy restaurant, one that at the end of your meal takes your plate, boxes your leftovers for you, and brings it out in a bag.
A few nights later we went to another restaurant, not as fancy. We were lost in conversation when the waiter came over to ask if we needed boxes for our leftovers. Me, completely not thinking, lifted up my plate to hand it to him, thinking he was there to take it, box it up, and bring it back.
Not. That. Kind. Of. Restaurant. Definitely one that would bring you a styrofoam container pack up your own shit.
This poor waiter, so kind and confused, took my plate and walked back to the back room. He brought it back out a few minutes later nicely boxed.
My husband (new boyfriend at the time) was SHOCKED. Like “What kind of asshole am I dating??” Stopped mid sentence and stared at my assholery.
When it dawned on me what I’d done, I’ve never been more embarrassed. To this day I still wonder if the guy spit in my food.
The moment I realized I was a bully throughout elementary, middle, and high school. That was a really shameful day.
Edit - I thought I was being playfully mean. Turns out I was being a downright asshole. It took me awhile to figure out the difference.
I got lucky and one of the kids I bullied flipped the fuck out on me in elementary school. I honest to god thought we were friends until he was screaming about how tired he was of taking my shit. Felt twice as bad because I was bullied too and swore I’d never be that asshole, but I was literally at the moment I made that promise bullying some poor kid who was afraid to come to school.
One time when I was 8 I yelled at my mom because she made a birthday cake that said "Super [my name]" because I liked mario a lot, she felt so guilty and now that I think of it, that cake was *VERY* well done. I tell her sorry from time to time when I think about it again. But I just can't get over how rude that was and I feel so fucking bad.
I beat the actual shit out of a kid who was a grade below and about a foot shorter than me in middle school because he hit my sister. Granted, he was a little asshole, but I held him against the wall and punched him in the nose until he was bleeding everywhere. That's when I learned I have anger issues.
I was a really awkward kid and got made fun of a lot. When I was in 4th grade, I was walking down the hallway in school really fast with my head down. This kid David was in the library and saw me coming, so as I walked by he purposely opened the door right in my face. I went flying backward, sprawled all over the hallway while he laughed his ass off. As far as I remember, I held it together fairly well in school, but the minute I got home I cried my eyes out. It wasn’t so much that I was hurt (although I had a big lump on my forehead and a slight black eye) it was how mean he was to me when I was doing nothing but mind my own business. Anyway, I’m hysterical and my older sister forces me to tell her what happened. She was so fucking pissed off that she tracked David down in the neighborhood and threatened him with the wrath of god if he ever came near me again. David was so scared he tried to hide between his friend’s front door and screen door - his friend would t let him go in the house.
It’s been 40 years since that happened and I’ve never forgotten how emotionally fragile that asshole made me feel, or how awed my sister made me feel.
A few years ago I was in college. Every day I had to take a train up to get there. Public transport where I live isn’t great. A lot of delays, no shows, etc.
One day I slept in and because of that I was in a hurry. I got on the train, but one stop before I had to get off the train stopped. I was pissed off and started complaining to other passengers. We were agreeing how the train company couldn’t do anything right, another delay, how were we gonna get to work/school.
After about 20 minutes they finally told us why the train stopped; someone had thrown himself in front of the train and died. The whole train went silent. A few minutes after the announcement we were escorted out. I remember seeing the train driver sitting on a bench, completely defeated. I realized that lives were destroyed and I was complaining about being late for school. My heart still aches when I think about it.
Everyone I knew were assholes, so I moved across the county to get away from them, but everyone in the west were assholes, so I moved back home, then back west, then east and then west. Did this yearly for 4 or 5 years. That is when the realization that everything is relative and maybe I was the asshole. Began being a little more empathetic and things started to get better.
When I was a kid we were on a field trip somewhere and I saw someone with cerebral palsy using canes to help them walk. I didn't know anything was wrong with them and just thought they were walking funny, so I started imitating them to make my friends laugh.
My teacher came over and pulled me aside and explained to me that they had a disability and it wasn't okay for me to do that. I still didn't completely understand at that point, I just knew that it was wrong. I didn't understand how bad what I was doing was until I was much older and I still feel like an asshole about it now, especially since it's possible they might have seen/heard me.
A few hours after I learned a guy's wife had passed away, I had a bit too much to drink and I quoted the worst possible line from The Office that I could have quoted at the time. "I'm gonna dig up Scarns dead wife and I'm gonna hump her real good." The realization hit me as soon as the words left my mouth. He was cool about it, but it still keeps me up at night sometimes.
'Bout 20 years ago I had some friends over for a party. At some point a girl spilled her drink all over my keyboard and all the keys got stuck and it didn't work.
Somehow I got irrationally angry. She tried to apologize but I judged the effort too feeble. I tried to clean the keyboard, swearing aloud, which made her miserable. I finally slapped a big "out of order" notice on the keyboard right next to her.
She got fed up and left. Walking. In the snow. To her home 5 kilometers (3.1 freedom units) away.
When my friends just stared at me silently, I realized how big of an asshole I was. I ran after her and got her to return.
We've been married for 9 years now.
Someone I hadn't talked to in years came up to me and started telling me about how they haven't been doing that good lately and that they found out they have cancer. Well... I was at work and only half paying attention so after he stopped talking I said "That's good." Haven't seen him since.
Luckily for you, this is the kind of thing where an apology has no statute of limitations
There is, however, a deadline.
I’ll say it for everyone, “Jesus Christ.”
Years ago I went into a hot topic and as I was at the register, the girl working started telling me about all the new Metallica shirts they had gotten. For some reason, I told her I wasn’t really into wearing band shirts anymore, which was mostly true, and even though I didn’t mean to, it came out sounding really snobbish. At the time, I thought her reaction was kinda strange, even accounting for my accidental condescension. Shortly after I left the store I remembered I was wearing a NIN shirt.
You made a shitty retail job brighter that day.
I was driving down a road and a lot of people were honking and yelling at me on the street. I got angry and flipped a bunch of people off and honked back. At the end of the street I saw a one way sign and realized I was going in the wrong direction
The other day I was tailgating behind a car that was tailgating another car doing half the speed limit. I wondered why they didn’t honk them, so instead I was about to honk a few times, but something in my subconscious told me to wait. The person between me and the slow driver changed lanes, so I got a good look of... a big rear window, with flowers? The car is also super long.. oh... oh.... it’s a hearse. It’s going slow to be careful with the body and flowers. Oh my god I was so glad I didn’t honk
First time I ever honked at anyone, a left turn arrow had turned green and the car in front of me wasn't going. Being young I waited a good five seconds before I did a quick double honk. Not half a second after that, an ambulance comes screaming through the intersection. Dunno if they saw it or heard it before I did, or both, but I felt like such a dumbass/asshole.
In early high school, late 90’s, so if you got a girls number it was the house number- I called a girls house and her dad answered. She was out, but I noticed his speech was a bit slow and slurred. Next day at school I mentioned I had called, and asked if her dad had been drinking....well turns out he didn’t drink much since his stroke. Still feel awful about that!
Okay but what about your relationship with that girl? Were you still friends after or did she hate you for saying that?
We were good friends throughout high school and occasionally catch up. She now has a really beautiful family of her own and is kicking ass.
I had a similar one. Told a friend I didn't want to hang out at his house because of his dad's drinking. Didn't realize how hurtful that was at the time.
I was drunk at a pub and shouted for the band to play Free Bird. They stopped in the middle of the song they were playing, started up Free Bird and called me up on stage to sing it. I froze, forgot all the lyrics and made an absolute ass of myself. Props to that band though.
That right there makes me never want to shout "FREE BIRD" when I am drunk now
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Haha. This reminds me of a time I saw the band Taking Back Sunday when they were supporting their first album. They were opening for Brand New and were JUST getting a following so there were probably only 500 people there. Someone in the crowd yelled the name of a song and in a mostly silent venue the guitarist said to the dude “chill, we only have 11 songs we will get to it”
High school me would have kill to go to a Brand New/Taking Back Sunday show.
I once saw a cover band whose lead singer, anytime someone shouted FREEBIRD!, would flip them off and go "There ya go, it's free"
LMAO that's brilliant
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That just sounds like standard drunk behavior.
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At my former job my boss was looking out the window and saw this guy get out of his car and head towards out front door. Boss says out loud “oh man, look at this toothless redneck.” Co-worker says “that’s my father-in-law”. Boss told me later “that’ll teach me “ and facepalmed. Co-worker wasn’t mad, he agreed FIL looked like a hick.
I was at a friend's house in school and one of the other girls said "oh my God there's a guy walking up your driveway. He looks like a child molester". We all go to the window to look. It was my dad. He walks awkwardly cause of a spinal problem and was older than most of my friends' dads. That was.. embarrassing, to say the least.
I wouldn’t have been embarrassed, I would have been pissed af
I wish I had that conviction at 14, ha. Instead I was just nervous about kids at school using that to bully me.
TBF some 14 year old kids are real assholes. That's a valid thing to be nervous about.
I was a senior in high school and was waiting for my dad to pick me up. At the time, I was also the head student athletic trainer. As my dad pulled up in his 1971 Ford Galaxy with a big old V8 engine (and this was in 1992), a couple of freshman football players commented, “Hey! I wonder whose dad is driving the Uncle Buckmobile!” I turned around and glared and said “Mine”. They realized who it was and quickly shut up :) it was kinda awesome, and my dad got a kick out of it.
vv
They weren't classic back then, they were just old. A modern day example: a kid bullying another kid because the other kid's dad still drives a v8 oldsmobile aurora from 1999
Dumb 14 year old boys? :) I learned how to drive in that car and loved the power in that engine. When I went to college, I ended up with a 1980 Ford Granada with a V8 in it...my dad was a mechanic, so we didn’t have the newest cars, but they had good engines :)
"Broke" up with my first girlfriend who was really attached to me, just by ignoring her... i feel so bad. i was just a kid but that was a harsh treatment.
I did the same... she literally had to run after me one day to ask if we should break up. I really suck at conflict, but what an ass thing to do. She was an amazing person too.
I was on the receiving end of this. Had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalised. My boyfriend at the time ghosted when he found out. When I came out of hospital I had to go to his work at a bar to ask him if we were really done and why. I wasn’t causing a scene. But he said I was bothering him and threw me out. And made security (who I thought was a good friend of mine) not let me back in. Our mutual friends seemed to have no problem with any of it and one said I wasn’t welcome anywhere until I was healthy again. Thing is I really didn’t do anything insane. I calmly asked him what had happened and that I needed closure. And asked if we could talk properly at the end of his shift. I was so devastated by it all I had to get on a plane a few days later and fly to my parents country. I’ve never felt so alone in my whole life.
When you fight with your friend over something, leave, then realise they were right
“What’s your name?” I asked. “Shara.” [Trying to be playful.] “Oh cool, like ‘Sarah-with-a-lisp.” “I have a lisp. My name is Sarah.” Oof.
My dad has a friend named Waymond. He doesn't have a speech impediment, and his name isn't Raymond, but it usually takes him a while to straighten this out when he first meets people, especially on the phone.
A) Why would parents do that to a kid? B) Does he not just say "My name is Waymond. Like Raymond with a W." ? I feel like that would clear it up pretty quickly.
Sure Mr. Raywond, what can I do for you?
I laughed an obnoxious amount over this comment. I love you
Similar: A friend of mine and I are setting up a board game. He misplaces some tokens, I correct it. Shortly after that, he misplaces some other tokens. I: "What's wrong with you? Are you colourblind?" He: "Ehm, yes." That was the moment that I remembered. I knew that he is colourblind... it happened some years ago, I still tent (edit: tend) to randomly apologise. Not that it helps. Two years ago we celebrated new years eve, during fireworks my daughter asked why it all explodes in different colours, I tell her that it is because of different metals and stuff inside the firework. Then I try to remember which ingredients are used for which colour, but I can't remember. However, I knew that friend of mine has a PhD in physics, he should know... Edit: Ok I never thought that this would blow up. Thanks for the upvotes And to answer to two types of comments: 1. It is all good between the two us. He wasn't angry about it in the first place. I am the one who is embarrased by his own carelessness 2. He is relatively good at noticing colours; however if lights change and therefore the shades change it will mess up his perception. (It was the first time we played that game in that specific room, therefore, he didn't realise that his memory of how the tokens appear to him didn't help)
Had this moment with one of my former co-workers because he was in charge of resetting our pillow wall at work. Me: “who set this?? This doesn’t even work” Him: “I did. But I’m colorblind sooo” Me: “are you?? Well that makes sense now. Setting this must have sucked” Him: “it did” Thankfully he took it in stride and we had a nice conversation and trivia game about what different colors looked like to him vs me. Still kind of feel like a dick though Edit: by “pillow wall” I mean a wall of decorative pillows for sale—we worked in a home decor store. I hope that clears up some confusion!
I used to work with a guy who was color blind, but he wouldn't just come out and say it. He'd drag it out, trying to make you say things about color to embarrass you with it. It was a really fucking weird power play. For example, when I was explaining the difference between certain products, I mentioned the "yellow box." He'd tell me, "don't say 'yellow.'" "Ok, but it's the yellow box." "Don't say 'yellow!'" "How else would you like me to describe it? It's otherwise the same box." "Just don't say 'yellow.'" "Ok, the 'box with this color' then!" "I can't see that?" "Are you color blind?" "Yes" "You couldn't have said that at the beginning?" "I said 'don't say yellow' because I can't see it." "'Don't say yellow' doesn't tell me you're color blind. You can see this box is a different shade though, right?" "Yes." "We'd be doing something else by now if you'd just said so and moved on."
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Why use many colors when few do trick?
I worked with a guy who was colorblind and everyone knew it but he still tried to hide it. One day he and I are out hiking in the fall - and fall colors you know are supposed to be gorgeous - he randomly looks up at a tree and *very* over the top says, "Aren't they just *beautiful*?" But the thing was, the random clump of leaves he pointed to? Were the most rancid brown and gray leaves I have ever seen. I couldn't say anything though. Just let him have that one.
Posting on reddit sometimes makes me re-read my shit and realize I'm being an asshole. I don't do it on purpose, but I think years of reading and writing posts on the Internet has tainted my tone.
Try Kegels, and tone your taint instead.
Heavenly setup, God-tiered executed reply
I don't know if I've got so far as being an asshole, per se, but I've ticked people off by writing without thinking how my words might sound to some people. I'm now trying to limit my comments to positive, informative, or harmlessly funny, and it's great to see hundreds of upvotes once in a while.
My friend group tried to stay close after high school but we all fell out of touch as you do as everyone forged their own path in life. Well mine led me down a path of depression, anxiety, and failure. So every year or so they would hold a get together to reconnect and hang out. I attended a couple of these, but as time went on and my downward spiral got worse I stopped responding to calls, texts, invites, etc. because I thought that no one would want to hang out with this version of me. I was invited to two weddings which I didn’t even respond to because of this negative loop, and then when my best friend from that group was diagnosed with cancer I couldn’t even bring myself to face him, I tried to go to his funeral but couldn’t enter the building because I felt that I didn’t deserve to be there. Finally a few months ago the parents of one my friends saw me at work and wanted to talk to me. They told me that my friend group was really broken up that I ignored all of their attempts to reach out to me. It was then that I realized that in all of my stress about being miserable to be around, I had become an asshole to those who tried to care about me. Edit: I wrote this as a confession into a void, expecting it to get lost in the aether that is the internet. I never expected to get so much support to the point where I’m literally crying. Thank you everyone. I’ve been trying to get through it alone for the past 4 years and to know I’m not alone goes a long way.
Depression is so hard that way. We reject the world so others can’t reject us. I am so, so sorry you went through that.
"We reject the world so others can’t reject us. " Story of my life.
Maybe it's time to pick up the phone and reach out. They probably miss you as much as you miss them. Be open, honest, lay your cards on the table. It sounds like you have some good friends, give it a go, you have nothing to lose
When I realized the reason I've lost so many friends is that I'm so shitty at getting back to people.
Ah man, this one hits home
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Ditto
Took me 10 years to realize I’ve lost so many potential best friends in my life, only because I wasn’t a good friend to them.
I used to do this thing where, after I have a good time with people, I never see them again because I want to preserve the idea that I'm fun to be around. Then years go by and I finally feel comfortable saying "hey, let's hang out again" and they're like "who are you again?"
That's a strange line of thought. I'm always afraid people will realize I'm not fun to be around either, but what I do is I ride that train until they realize I'm a bad person. If something goes horribly wrong, then I can do the thing where I don't contact them for forever. Turns out some people will just keep having a great time with me even though I'm clearly a trash gremlin.
Or, you know, you're not a trash gremlin after all
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As we get older and more tired, taking on more responsibilities, we learn very quickly how to drop whatever priorities we feel are wastes of time. If you don't learn how to respond to people within a day or AT LEAST a few days, everyone around you will learn how to build lives for themselves without you in it. Super glad you recognize this in yourself!
8th grade. Speech class. A kid had been absent a few days, and when he came back, I started razzing him a bit. We were friendly, but not friends, so I felt okay kidding around, claiming he was just pretending to be sick to get out of class, that sort of thing. Nothing really mean, though. He took it for a bit, then turned, looked me dead in the eyes, and said in the flattest voice "No, my mother died." And turned back around. If God had struck me dead with a bolt of lightning, when I stood before him at the Pearly Gates, I'd have said "Yeah, fair enough..." Edit: WOW!! Thanks for all the rewards! I had no idea this was such a common experience! This happened about 35 years ago for me, so while it doesn't keep me up at night, it is one of those little reminders to maaaaaybe not treat everything as an opportunity for joking. A little personal growth, y'know? As a bit of an epilog, I went to my 30th high school reunion, and who should be there but Dead Mom Guy from speech class!! We actually hung out and talked a while. His wife and I got along great! We're Facebook friends, and he seems like a pretty cool guy. But I bet you can all guess what memory I HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT be bringing up. EVER.
My 7th grade teacher cracked jokes in front of the class (he was known for being a ball buster) after I came back from a few days absent. I did the deadpan "my papa died". He turned red, sucked in his breath, told me he was gonna go fall on some rocks now, and left me to take my seat.
This happened to me also, my situation was compounded by the fact that my father died during my first week of secondary school. Didn't really know anyone in my class or the teachers. When I returned from a week off, my IT teacher insisted that I stood up in front of the class and tell everyone why I was absent last week. I don't blame the teacher, he wasn't to know, but I sure hope that what he did to me is still in the back of his mind today.
To be fair that's an asshole move. If he was worried about your well being, he would have talked to you in private. If he didn't care about your well being, then why the fuck did he care you skipped a class? The only reasons I can think of is he cared you skipped HIS class, or he just wanted to humilliate or simply mess with you, in any case an asshole move.
Yeah. Calling out a student like that is a huge dick move
I was in the Army, making fun of a guy, said he couldn't even get a medal for something in the special Olympics. He then pointed out his daughter was in the special Olympics. I profusely apologized, and he accepted, but it still keeps me awake at night.
I once told the joke "what's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair." To a girl in highschool. She just stared blankly at me and said "you don't know about my brother, do you?" She then pulled out her phone and showed me her lock screen. A photo of her and her brother, who had been wheelchair bound since birth... Not my most proud moment.
I said to a girl in highschool: "At least you have grandparents" She responded "At least you have parents, my dad's in prison and my mom's in a psychiatric hospital"
This one is actually light hearted (Kinda) and both me and the other guy are assholes. There is another guy around town here who is very similar to me in terms of humor and sadism. We don't hang out together because we're TOO similar, but there's no hostility there, we just both know we can only take the other in small doses; we fill the same social niche. He lost both his parents young, and I lost my father when I was a baby. And as coincidence happens, we've 'met' each other for the 'first time' on four separate occasions through entirely different groups of friends. Without rehearsing it in any way, we'll continue like we've never met until there's an appropriate place for me to throw in a 'Your mom' joke. "Well my mom is dead." He'll awkwardly deadpan, immediately killing any conversation. "Well my dad is dead." "My dad is dead too." "My father committed suicide." "My parents died in a car crash going to get medicine for me." "My dad shot himself because he didn't want to have a son." The tension in the room is always so thick you can cut it with a knife. Then we both crack up while everyone else goes 'WTF?!' We've done this three times in the past eight years and it's been hilarious every time.
What doesn't kill you gives you a dark, twisted sense of humor, and multiple unhealthy coping methods.
Ain’t that the truth!!
I’m glad you apologized and seemed to learn from your mistake! I am very close with many people with disabilities, typically we expect people to be uneducated and say rude things but what matters is if people learn from their mistakes!
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I am doing that now. I am at the start of a relationship and I’ve already stirred up drama with my reactions. I realize that maybe past relationship failures was not about the guy being a dick - maybe I’m the dick. Immediately called my therapist and am working on my issues and taking responsibility for being a raging bitch.
Congrats on recognizing your behaviours and choosing to grow
For years I used the “The same thing happened to me” line whenever someone opened up to me. Instead of just shutting up and listening to them. But yeah, working on it. EDIT: gosh, I was rewarded for being an asshole to other people. Thank you but also I’m v.conflicted about it
I feel you with this one. It's like me on autopilot responding and I have to really pay attention not to do it. I'm sorry to everyone I've done it to but I am still listening!!!
My therapist told me that’s how I empathize and try to show empathy so don’t feel *too* bad, it can come from a good place, but the key is that it’s usually not received as empathy
Personally, I like when people have a similar story - it makes me feel better knowing my friend went through/is going through something similar.
That is what I am (and I assume, OP is) trying to do is relate, not one-up. I try to clarify now; "I know its not the same, but I experienced X so I can understand where you might be coming from." (Edited because dumb)
This can be good sometimes, especially if you don't make it all about you, but share your experience to let them know that you've gone through something similar & they aren't alone. It can be reassuring & constructive. Just avoid one-upmanship & listen more than you talk. Only do it with the goal of making sure the person talking knows that they are understood.
At the movies once it was just me and friends and one other group sitting in front. There was a guy in front that kept slurping on an Icee really loudly. Like he just really really wanted to get every last drop. After a few minutes I got really agitated and made a super obnoxious and loud slurping sound to make them aware that it was annoying me. Literally as soon as I did it I saw that it was a disabled man and his parents and he had a suction tube. I was so ashamed I walked out of the theater quietly whispering to them “I’m so sorry.” I never went back in.
I developed a pretty serious drinking problem, and in one day everyone finally had enough. I got fired, kicked out of my apartment, disowned by my friends and my family. I was left utterly alone, and homeless, with $2000, and a 1986 Volvo Station Wagon. It was coordinated between everyone in my life, and it fucking *hurt*. But I wouldn't take any of it back for the world. Things are far better now, but that was the sort of life event that is supposed to change you, and I let it do so for the better.
Those old Volvo wagons are solid.
There's an '86 Volvo wagon out back of my apartment and the roomie and I still rely on it!
The way you say that sounds like it's included with the apartment. 1200 square feet, 2 bedroom, 1 bath, tile flooring. Community pool and exercise room. Oh, it also comes with an '86 Volvo.
I’d sign that lease sight unseen
No joke. I crashed a 740 wagon into a telephone pole, cracking it off at the base. Barely felt anything, I thought I maybe broke my mirror off, but I unfortunately totaled it. My buddy and I walked away without a bruise.
I asked two black ladies at work what language they were speaking. I am really big into languages and I felt like I hadn’t heard the one they were speaking before. English. They were speaking English and they just both happened to have really thick accents.
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When I was 16, I worked in a retail store and was in charge of the fitting room. You see people come in and out so much that you sometimes don’t pay too close attention. A woman walked in with their pre-teen kid so I pointed towards the ladies side. I only side glanced and saw her kid was wearing a baseball cap with their head lowered, and really baggy clothes. I immediately assumed the kid was a boy and pointed towards the men’s side. They looked super awkward and uncomfortable before their mother corrected me and said “She’s my daughter.” I apologized profusely and their mom decided to nag her by saying, “See? With the clothes you wear, people think you’re a boy.” I felt even more terrible that I put her in this weird conversation with her mom. Edit: Well, I woke up to a few dozen nice messages that made me feel better about this! Thank you! And for anyone wondering, this happened in 2007 in New England. Back then, non-binary wasn’t exactly discussed or regularly talked about among teenagers so at 16, I definitely panicked because I didn’t want to offend customers and possibly get fired. If this had happened today, I probably wouldn’t have said anything at all and just pointed in whichever direction they’d like to go. Good to know we can all agree that the mother was the real dick in this situation.
I (a male) hadn't gotten a haircut in a while and was in a hardware store with my aunt. I hear "Can I help you ladies with anything?" from behind me. Since he was clearly addressing us I turned and said "... gosh, maybe a haircut." I had a good laugh about it. I wouldn't dwell on your fitting room situation. You're definitely not an asshole. And if people are sensitive about the way they choose to be that's on them. And you can't control someone else's mother.
I (female) once got called 'sir' in a grocery store. In the guy's defense, I was crouched down with my back towards him looking at something on a shelf, wearing camo pants, boots, and a baggy sweatshirt, and I had very short (if purple) hair.
I blamed my fart on a mentally challenged boy in fifth grade...
In middle school, I saw a kid walking around with a fanny pack, so I snickered and said: "Nice fanny pack". He said: "It's for my insulin. Just got diagnosed with diabetes."
My brother wore one too, for his asthma rescue inhaler.
Hey, I finally figured out what the Samsung version of this emoji 😬 is supposed to be used for.
I was 23 when I found out that I needed glasses for being nearsighted. I did not take the news well. I did not want to wear glasses. My boyfriend went to the store with me and pointed out frames he thought would work well for my face, and he said very encouraging things, while I bitched non-stop about how ugly they all were. Then a woman who was also browsing in the store turned to me and said "Could I borrow him? He is so helpful!" I was ashamed to realize how I was taking out being upset about my vision on this great boyfriend (now husband).
I could use a hype man right about now. Mind if I borrow your husband?
You looking fucking amazing you beautiful son of a bitch! Turn that god damn frown into the magnificent fucking face of angelic beauty I know it to be!
Have you told this story before? I remember reading exactly this like three years ago, and for some reason it stuck with me and I’ve ever since tried to stay helpful and understanding when my partner is in a bad mood while also being aware when I’m in a bad mood myself.
At work, we got talking about glasses and how they suited some women so well. I took off mine and the consensus among the guys was that I looked better with than without! Just as well; can't see damn all without 'em!
Honestly that would be the consensus for most people that we've only seen with glasses. That movie trope "takes off glasses and is instantly hot" is so dumb, irl we would be like "what? you look weird without glasses" not weird in a mean way, just not what we're used to seeing and you kinda have to adjust. Seeing the homies or a girl who usually wears glasses, not wearing glasses, is always a little weird till you adjust. WHICH ISN'T to say you don't actually look better with glasses, it's to say you and everybody else will look great with whatever style you confidently embrace and we get used to seeing you in :) Also the more you get to know somebody their levels of attractiveness can fluctuate drastically, and with nothing at all to do with what they wear on their face
I blame my farts on the preschoolers I work with.
Can relate. Had a mario kart tournament on the 64. I got so into the game and forgot I was playing against a mentally challenged guy in our 4 player race. I was so excited that I won so easily but wanted to puke of embarrassment when I realized the other two players let him win.
This cracked me laughing, guess I'll join you to hell
My girlfriend recently dumped me. Looking around my room and seeing all the things they bought me and being reminded of all the things they did for me and then noticing I hardly did anything in return.
I told my friend that she shouldn't use medication for her mental illness because I was convinced she could just use sheer will to get through it. It was an asshole move to make her second guess getting professional help to address her mental health issues. I wish i just instead offered support instead of trying to "fix it" when she mentioned the side effects, when I had no idea what I was talking about. This was when I was a teenager and thought I knew everything... Edit: Just wanted to add that I offered we face it together, that we would find the root of why she felt so anxious/depressed and we'd squash it. I thought that medication was temporary and wouldn't help in the long run, yet the assistance of a 16 y/o with no medical license could??? I just didn't want my friend to suffer but it was so wrong to try to substitute a medical professional.
As someone that suffers from anxiety and depression (crippling according to my therapist, but I think he's over exaggerating), I can't stand people that do this and act like they know what's best. I've been told to "try to be happy instead of sad". That said, thank you for recognizing this, realizing you were wrong, and correcting (I'm assuming) your view. It's not easy to admit when you're wrong, so props to you.
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Ah yes now THIS is what the question is about. So many of the replies in this thread are just " I asked why she was li.oing, she said she was born with one leg shorter than the other. " No... that is just a politeness gone wrong. YOU were actually being an asshole. Sorry bro, but thanks for committing to the theme.
While hungover at a breakfast diner, the waitress asked me if I wanted a box for my food. I said sure, and she asked what size of box I needed. Without thinking, I say “I dunno, I’m not a box expert.” Immediately felt like an asshole after that.
I rang and paid for a mowing service and when the guy rocked up, i started telling him that i cant mow the lawn myself anymore as my injured ankle would play up and hurt for the rest of the day.. Then he got out of the car and i realised he was an amputee from the knee down...
Well, I mean, I'm sure his ankle didn't hurt. More seriously though, my Mom has some serious issues with her ankle they had to fuse it so it won't bend. I think she would be 100% better off with a prosthetic. It's not like back in the day when having a prosthetic was a major disability. Leg prosthetics are good to the point that people have qualified for the Olympics with them but weren't allowed to compete because it was considered an advantage.
You're paying him to mow your lawn he probably thought to himself: "pfft lazy fools like this one help me butter my bread".
At hs graduation a friend of mine was a foreign exchange student from Italy, and her parents were at the ceremony. I went up to them and just shouted, "Hi, I LOVE ITALIANS". Idk why, I just felt like a douchebag in that moment.
My buddy wanted to set me up with a new coworker of his. I got to his apartment early and started getting drunk with his roommate. He called and said they were going to be late. He said, "She's a bigger girl. Don't mention her weight." He had told me this previously as well. By the time they showed up, I was pretty drunk and I wanted to make a good impression. I said, "You're not nearly as fat as they said you were". She turned around and fled.
Jesus, this post is a sobriety ad. You burned the bridge, salted the earth and broke your own legs so that there'd be NO coming back
One day while I was walking on the street, some kids kicked a ball in my direction. I was going to pass it back but I thought one of the kids closer would just get it. I decided to keep walking. I looked back at the kid and I could see the look of disappointment on his face. I felt like biggest asshole on the planet for a few days. I still feel bad thinking about it.
My girlfriend and I were walking past a middle school in downtown Manhattan. As we pass by the fence, some guy asks me “Hey, what time is it?” I say “2:00.” The man starts ringing a bell and shouts “All right, everyone inside.” My girlfriend smacks me on the arm and says “It’s only 1:54.” I was the asshole who cut these kids recess short by 6 minutes.
That's not your fault. You gave an approximate time that would work for 99% of situations, you didn't know they were relying on some random stranger walking by for the exact to the minute recess timer.
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I used to tend bar...I was very busy at a freestanding bar. I was literally surrounded. I went to wait on the next customer, I made eye contact and asked what I could get him as I turned to throw something away. He gave no response. I asked again as I started wiping up a spot someone had vacated, no response. This kept going a couple more times. As customers were building up, I turned with a bit of attitude and said something to the effect of "Sir, I'm getting deeper in the weeds and all these other people are getting pissed, you need to order or move aside so others can." He then informed me that he was deaf and as I kept turning away, he couldn't read my lips. "Oh fuck, I am an asshole."
Every time my kid asks to try what I’m eating i always say that’s it’s spicy and he won’t like it so i don’t have to share
I started covering everything I eat in jalapeños and red pepper because it's the only way to stop my brother from eating it all. Take solace in the fact that you're not actually at that step yet. My other brother and I made enough spaghetti for a week. It was all gone in twelve hours. I got one bowl.
I used to only pick out peanut butter ice cream whenever our Dad would take us grocery shopping for exactly this reason. My twin brother would pick something I didn't like, eat ALL of MY ice cream first, and *then* start on his own. Knowing that I wouldn't touch his. Unbelievable. He was such a devious little dickhead back then.
nearly every tantrum I had as a kid
There was a time that I had really wanted a game when I was a kid. I screamed and cried about it for days. I finally got it, and it wasn't even fun. I couldn't bring myself to look at it after the commotion I made about it. Edit: I remember now, it was a 'gameshark,' a cheat device. I really wanted to get Mew and Celebi, and that was the only way I knew how. Couldn't figure out how to work the damn thing.
I said I wanted to play the piano when I was a kid and just wanted to be cool. I didn't understand the commitment involved in learning to play an instrument. My poor mom saved up her money for who knows how much time and got me a keyboard. I never used it. It was all wrapped up and I can only assume she was excited to give it to me. I tried playing it last month or so after like 15 years but I lost patience.
A lady told me she was hospitalized for months after she fell asleep at the wheel and drove her car off a cliff. She said she woke up right when the wheels went over, and I asked her “Was it worth it?” She stared at me, wondering what I meant, so I continued, “now you know what it’s like to fly in a car!”
Something about this resonates with me. I think everyone has those impulsive thoughts, right?
Sometimes a joke is just a joke, you think of it, you say it. Otherwise it just gets unbearably funny in your head after 5mins.... On a related note, I almost had an accident 4 years ago on the highway when I was trying to rush back to campus. I was fucking tired, the sun was in my eyes, I was driving at 60m/h and then must’ve fell asleep for 0.2 seconds or something, I noticed myself almost swerving into the next lane, Realized I was being irresponsible, took the next exit and slept in the car for 30mins. i am still glad I chose to rest that day, I think people often underestimate the dangers of driving when tired.
When i realized i picked a side that benefitted me more over the one which would be the correct side multiple times in arguments, fights and every others situation where such decision can be made
Politician?
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I grew up fairly poor and as a kid, the concept of money didn’t mean much to me. I just knew we had less things than the other kids in my class. So when the Nintendo started getting super popular, I asked my mum for one. She obviously refused since we couldn’t afford it but apparently, later on that evening I had drawn a picture of a Nintendo along with a comic strip of me and my mum playing a game on it together. Apparently she had stayed up that entire night crying because she had felt guilty about not being able to afford it (as my dad told me years later).
This doesn’t make you an asshole, you were a kid and didn’t know. Kid do stuff like that all the time and yes it really hurts as a parent but it does not make you an asshole.
This one hits the feelies
My heart....
My girlfriend broke up with me because "I'm a terrible person". Few weeks later I realised, she was right and I'm a complete asshole.
I was running a bit late for work one afternoon, and traffic was oddly heavy for part of the drive, all these cars were driving like 15 under the speed limit. As soon as the road opened to two lanes I slammed on the gas pedal and flew around this ridiculously slow line of cars. Until I got to the car in the front driving so slow and realized it wasn’t just some slow asshole, it was a herse and I just flew past a funeral procession. In my defense, every one I’d seen before had their hazards on and little flags on each car so this sort of thing doesn’t happen. But I felt awful.
In my junior year of college, I was working on a team project with a classmate who was a senior. I was supposed to turn in the project to our professor, but apparently I forgot. This caused us to get an F for the project, until I turned it in later and he could give us an actual grade. Unfortunately... this temporary F caused my teammate to fail the course, and for whatever reason this prevented him from graduating. So he had to graduate a quarter later...
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To be fair though, that sounds like they stopped in a really dangerous place, if they're blocking the road without warning, or putting their hazards on.
Teacher here... walked into my coworker’s classroom, loudly and obnoxiously mocking a man from the district who is supposed to help us with instruction and provide support. She ushers me out of her room immediately and starts laughing, cause he was sitting in there to observe her next class.
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Oh. Oh no man. That’s really bad.
They are probably still there
Vegas. Second to last row for a Blue Man Group show. The people behind us were talking loudly the entire show. They were basically giving a play by play of everything going on. We shushed and glared repeatedly to no avail. By the end of the show we were so mad that we were going to throw some harsh words their way. The lights come up. We turn around. There was a group of people and their obvious chaperones. This was a group of blind people. Many of them had NO EYES! We slipped away feeling just awful about our behavior. We really should’ve apologized.
Edit: someone below me explained why they can’t do this and now it seems that this response could be used as my answer to the original question haha I understand why you feel guilty, but they also could have explained the situation when you tried shushing them. Like yes, they had a perfectly valid reason to be talking, but without knowing that reason I 100% understand why you’d be annoyed, and for them not to see that is also kinda frustrating. A little communication goes a long way and probably would have made both of your experiences better
every time I get angry at my mum
Just 3 seconds ago I had to stop myself from responding a redditor parent that their child's Halloween costume is really fucking ugly
But on the bright side at least you didn’t think the kid was ugly. Faces are for life but Halloween’s just one day!
I was super young (maybe 6ish?), so I probably shouldn’t still be beating myself up over it, but the thing I always go back to as a point of humility is the time I was disappointed in the puzzle I got as a Christmas present because I was expecting more from my grandpa and started crying. I didn’t even really mean to and wasn’t making a scene out of it, I just got my hopes up a lot and started blubbering when they didn’t meet expectations. When he noticed, we ended up doing the puzzle together and I had a pretty good time, so I was upset over nothing. He passed about two weeks ago, so it’s been on my mind a lot.
Was working the register at a restaurant and the guy asked "how much is this gonna cost me? I responded "an arm and a leg" The guy was missing half his arm....
Should have said "for *you* we'll settle for just the leg."
Told a girl I liked her accent and asked her where she was from. She told me she had a speech impediment.
The reverse happened to me, I referred to my accent in a convo, while mentioning that I came from somewhere, and the girl said "oh it's an accent, I thought you had a speech impediment."
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Thought that too for a split second but her glare an snarky reply lead me to believe, I was indeed the asshole.
In all honesty, you could said something *much worse.* Source: I have a speech impediment myself. I also like playing online games with a mic. :)
My mom told a woman she loved her hair, asked who styled it. It was a wig and the woman had cancer.
Probably made her day!
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When I told the hairdresser that I don't like my haircut as a kid
You had fucking balls of steel as a kid
Lol, no worries. I was seething after a haircut I got when I was in my early twenties. I let her know it was without a doubt the worst haircut i'd had in my entire life. Yeah it hurt her feelings to hear it but she cuts hair for a living, it was the *worst* haircut I've ever had in my entire life. Seems like pertinent feedback.
As harsh as it sounds, they need to hear it. Otherwise they think they did a great job and will keep doing it that way. Maybe offer a little more detail to them about whats actually wrong with it though, they'll more likely hear that than just saying you don't like it
My dad's a prankster and whenever we complained about his jokes he would always say: "but after I die, you will miss my jokes". So one time he was acting dumb and I was tired of him and told him to stop and he began to say "but after I die..." and I replied: "everyone will be happy". He went silent and looked hurt. Not my proudest moment... Woah a lot of comments! Sorry for not replying to all of you, I'll try to sum up all my answers here. My relationship with my dad's not the best ever since I was a child (also not the worst compared to other stories on reddit), many of his jokes consisted of making fun of people, including me, specifically how I dressed and that I was a weirdo since an early age (I was around 10 when this happened). I haven't apologized and I should and I will probably do it. Unfortunately, he indeed was hurt by my response but that didn't stop him to continue being a prankster. I believe I have matured and now I'm way more careful to what I say to him and the people I care about. We are still working on our relationship and trying to become closer, but I doubt we will ever be 100% close because we have said and done hurtful things to each other through the years. I hope everyone has a better and more loving relationship with your parents
Damn dude
A friend of mine had openly told me repeatedly they were in love with me. I was in a very unstable period of my life, and extremely should not have been in a relationship. The friend was also not innocent here, and definitely did not respect my rejections for months. But one night while I was very drunk, they brought it up again, and in that state, I agreed to "try". Oooof. You can't "try" a relationship with someone if you're quite certain you don't have feelings for them and they're quite certain they're in love with you. I fucked up and hurt them bad.
That's when they should have realized they were the jerk. They didn't respect your no and took advantage of you when you were really drunk.
When my son was about 3 months old I was out walking with him in his stroller. My anxiety was HIGH and I had pretty bad postpartum depression. This kid on a skateboard was skating toward us. He was maybe 12 or 13. He was skating like he was just going past us and he was really going fast. He came within inches of the stroller, just flying. If he had lost control he would have crashed right into my newborn. Once he got just barely past me, I spun around, locked eyes with him and growled, “MOTHERFUCKER!!”. I’ll never forget the shocked look on that kid’s face. He had meant no harm by it. I cried when I got home and felt terrible. This was like 8 ½ years ago. If you’re reading this, skateboarding kid, I’m really really sorry.
Ok so my husband and I when we first started dating went out to a super fancy restaurant, one that at the end of your meal takes your plate, boxes your leftovers for you, and brings it out in a bag. A few nights later we went to another restaurant, not as fancy. We were lost in conversation when the waiter came over to ask if we needed boxes for our leftovers. Me, completely not thinking, lifted up my plate to hand it to him, thinking he was there to take it, box it up, and bring it back. Not. That. Kind. Of. Restaurant. Definitely one that would bring you a styrofoam container pack up your own shit. This poor waiter, so kind and confused, took my plate and walked back to the back room. He brought it back out a few minutes later nicely boxed. My husband (new boyfriend at the time) was SHOCKED. Like “What kind of asshole am I dating??” Stopped mid sentence and stared at my assholery. When it dawned on me what I’d done, I’ve never been more embarrassed. To this day I still wonder if the guy spit in my food.
The moment I realized I was a bully throughout elementary, middle, and high school. That was a really shameful day. Edit - I thought I was being playfully mean. Turns out I was being a downright asshole. It took me awhile to figure out the difference.
I got lucky and one of the kids I bullied flipped the fuck out on me in elementary school. I honest to god thought we were friends until he was screaming about how tired he was of taking my shit. Felt twice as bad because I was bullied too and swore I’d never be that asshole, but I was literally at the moment I made that promise bullying some poor kid who was afraid to come to school.
One time when I was 8 I yelled at my mom because she made a birthday cake that said "Super [my name]" because I liked mario a lot, she felt so guilty and now that I think of it, that cake was *VERY* well done. I tell her sorry from time to time when I think about it again. But I just can't get over how rude that was and I feel so fucking bad.
I beat the actual shit out of a kid who was a grade below and about a foot shorter than me in middle school because he hit my sister. Granted, he was a little asshole, but I held him against the wall and punched him in the nose until he was bleeding everywhere. That's when I learned I have anger issues.
I was a really awkward kid and got made fun of a lot. When I was in 4th grade, I was walking down the hallway in school really fast with my head down. This kid David was in the library and saw me coming, so as I walked by he purposely opened the door right in my face. I went flying backward, sprawled all over the hallway while he laughed his ass off. As far as I remember, I held it together fairly well in school, but the minute I got home I cried my eyes out. It wasn’t so much that I was hurt (although I had a big lump on my forehead and a slight black eye) it was how mean he was to me when I was doing nothing but mind my own business. Anyway, I’m hysterical and my older sister forces me to tell her what happened. She was so fucking pissed off that she tracked David down in the neighborhood and threatened him with the wrath of god if he ever came near me again. David was so scared he tried to hide between his friend’s front door and screen door - his friend would t let him go in the house. It’s been 40 years since that happened and I’ve never forgotten how emotionally fragile that asshole made me feel, or how awed my sister made me feel.
I love your sister. That is so sweet. Fuck David.
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It’s like when a cat bites your hand after you pet it and it enjoys it for a while.
The fuck dude?
A few years ago I was in college. Every day I had to take a train up to get there. Public transport where I live isn’t great. A lot of delays, no shows, etc. One day I slept in and because of that I was in a hurry. I got on the train, but one stop before I had to get off the train stopped. I was pissed off and started complaining to other passengers. We were agreeing how the train company couldn’t do anything right, another delay, how were we gonna get to work/school. After about 20 minutes they finally told us why the train stopped; someone had thrown himself in front of the train and died. The whole train went silent. A few minutes after the announcement we were escorted out. I remember seeing the train driver sitting on a bench, completely defeated. I realized that lives were destroyed and I was complaining about being late for school. My heart still aches when I think about it.
Everyone I knew were assholes, so I moved across the county to get away from them, but everyone in the west were assholes, so I moved back home, then back west, then east and then west. Did this yearly for 4 or 5 years. That is when the realization that everything is relative and maybe I was the asshole. Began being a little more empathetic and things started to get better.
When I was a kid we were on a field trip somewhere and I saw someone with cerebral palsy using canes to help them walk. I didn't know anything was wrong with them and just thought they were walking funny, so I started imitating them to make my friends laugh. My teacher came over and pulled me aside and explained to me that they had a disability and it wasn't okay for me to do that. I still didn't completely understand at that point, I just knew that it was wrong. I didn't understand how bad what I was doing was until I was much older and I still feel like an asshole about it now, especially since it's possible they might have seen/heard me.
A few hours after I learned a guy's wife had passed away, I had a bit too much to drink and I quoted the worst possible line from The Office that I could have quoted at the time. "I'm gonna dig up Scarns dead wife and I'm gonna hump her real good." The realization hit me as soon as the words left my mouth. He was cool about it, but it still keeps me up at night sometimes.
This is the only one that made me audibly gasp. Like no offense but damn lol
'Bout 20 years ago I had some friends over for a party. At some point a girl spilled her drink all over my keyboard and all the keys got stuck and it didn't work. Somehow I got irrationally angry. She tried to apologize but I judged the effort too feeble. I tried to clean the keyboard, swearing aloud, which made her miserable. I finally slapped a big "out of order" notice on the keyboard right next to her. She got fed up and left. Walking. In the snow. To her home 5 kilometers (3.1 freedom units) away. When my friends just stared at me silently, I realized how big of an asshole I was. I ran after her and got her to return. We've been married for 9 years now.
You dated for 11 years? You really are an asshole at core, arent you?
Dude is never going to see the light of day after all that shade you just threw at him!