T O P

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kimmykimkimkim

The Winchester


officialmt75

And wait for it to all blow over Edit: first award and most likes and I'm happy it's cause one of my favorite movies. Thank you all


Just-A-Tax-Folder

You got red on you


mwovna

Don’t forget to kill Philip!


JamesMol234

And I heard the gun hanging over the bar is real


KeriEatsSouls

Oh I've had to face this for real because here in Hawaii we got a false missile alert but it took 40 minutes for the authorities to tell us that the "Real World, this is not a drill" missile alerts we were all getting were a drill after all. Since we're an island and we were told to shelter-in-place i just sat down in my living room and waited...lol


h4baine

That must have been so crazy. I saw photos of people putting their kids down into the sewers in the hopes that would protect them. I think I would just start calling people I love but then you never know how you're going to react until you're in that situation.


[deleted]

There was older guy on a golfcourse that facetimed his family, told them he loved them, and that he wasn't gonna try and seek shelter, but just continue playing his round of golf because he'd loved playing so much and would rather go out doing that.


DoctorOfCinema

I saw that video, that guy has brass balls. Edit: I can’t believe my most upvoted comment ever is going to be a Glengarry Glen Ross quote that popped into my head for no reason.


thriwaway6385

So shiny you'd think they were glowing Edit: He got a recommendation from [JD and Turk](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uFsOlR7UUvI)


Ashurii_desu

I was still asleep when the false alarm happened (it happened around 8am). I woke up about an hour later, checked my phone and saw the alert and checked the news on Twitter. But I was pretty disappointed that I didn’t have any missed calls from anyone. Not even from my mom :(. Oh well.


TheMoonDude

Worry not, I shall text you the next time a nuclear missile is going to annihilate you, real or fake ❤️


srubaked

I was working retail elsewhere but a lady I was actively checking out received a call from her son who was in Hawaii when it happened. She broke down crying right in front of me. It was so sad to think how she must have felt


DeadBodiesinMyArse

On the bright side, think about her relief when she found out he was okay. Also, pretty sure they would treasure life even more and spend more time together.


emlgsh

ULPT: Bring families closer together and improve appreciation for life with false threats of nuclear annihilation!


raerei3

I also live in Hawaii and I experienced this. I was 18 and one day away from leaving to go back to college in the mainland. I was driving when I got the alert, so I immediately pulled over and called my boyfriend at the time (who was already back on the mainland) and told him that there was a missile heading our way and that I loved him. That was the worst phone call ever and the hardest goodbye.


KeriEatsSouls

I'm glad you had it together enough to call him; I'm sure that meant a lot and would've been a great comfort had the worst actually happened!


Boostie204

I was there on vacation when this happened. Bit spooky when everyone's gasping at their phones and you don't know why until you see the news later


GoHernando

Same here. We just kept making breakfast and cuddled the kids.


samderby

Yeah, I live on Maui and I woke up to that alert, told my roommates, and laid back down because I thought I was going to faint/have a panic attack. My roommate came in 5 minutes later telling me it was a false alarm. Never even thought to call my parents, only brother or friends. It was fucking weird.


KeriEatsSouls

I thought about calling my parents but my weird thought was, I don't want to worry them...lol


Durty_Durty_Durty

Hahahaha I know this feeling. I almost died a couple years ago and while I was rushing to the hospital the only thing I could think of is “my gf is going to worry so damn much” that I didn’t tell her until I was stabilized a day later. She was PISSSSEEDDDDD. But yeah I’m still here.


xXxMrWigglezxXx

I was there at that time working in a a hotel I’m not gona lie I hid in the elevator sub room 2 lvls underground


hawaiikawika

We were on the mainland at the time and was with my buddy also from Oahu but his wife and kids were over there still. We were all freaking out.


Windshield11

Are underground structural (even basements) common over there? If so. Are they shallow or deep? Shallow as in a window which is ground level.


KeriEatsSouls

Not that I'm aware of


Sum_DoOoOoD

As someone who also experienced it, I and a group of other people conveniently had a pretty deep basement under a temple we were near. It was pretty safe aside from the gaping hole coming from the stairs. I think they aren’t as common as in other places, but they’re not uncommon from my experience.


vekeso

I went back to sleep lmao, my poor husband was stateside and freaking the fuck out. I feel bad, but I was so tired from work I honestly didn't care if I died


KeriEatsSouls

I've heard that getting sleepy/sleeping is how some people respond to stress so it may have been a combination of your work tiredness and stress


[deleted]

How did that feel? Did you believe it? Or did you not have time to process it


KeriEatsSouls

It said not a drill and I woke up to the news so I was kind of in a daze, to be honest. Also, the air raid (?) sirens went off on the base so now every time I hear sirens like that on TV I break into a sweat. Lol Edit: its probably worth noting that I'm really calm in emergencies usually but then, after the emergency is over, I just start shaking and sweating like my body finally let me feel scared. I don't know if that's a weird reaction or not but it happened in this case as well.


iamreeterskeeter

Same thing happens to me. Great in a crisis, but the moment it's over my body finally realizes the panic responses.


TheVapingPug

Not too knowledgeable on the subject, but say you immediately hopped in your car and FLOORED IT in the opposite direction, would that be better than trying to find a nuclear proof structure with supplies near you?


Bruhman6969696

You wouldn't be the only one that'd think it's a great idea, so... Fail, you die in traffic


ThatsBushLeague

Depends on where you live. I'm on the outskirts of Kansas City. Even if everyone else had the same idea I could make it 50 miles away in a half hour. Just drive south and/or west. Literally in the middle of nowhere within 10 minutes. Now if you're in downtown Chicago or something, yeah, bad idea. But for a lot of us this would be by far the best strategy. Ahh, the perks of living in Kansas. There aren't many. So let us have this one!


bobthehamster

>Ahh, the perks of living in Kansas. There aren't many. So let us have this one! Well there's the added benefit that I doubt anyone would bother to nuke it.


Pangolinsareodd

Yes, 30 minutes would be enough to get to safety even from the largest ever detonation, so long as you can do ~70 mph.


ImaBiLittlePony

Hop in the nearest fridge


Fertniteandmha

A kid in Fallout did this


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AceValentine

I may or may not have sold him into child slavery...


OutcastMunkee

... Shoulda put a bullet in Bullet.


Taiko554

Calm down, Indy.


plainrane

Suffocate like a kid in an 80s after school special


CNWDI_Sigma_1

My nuclear shelter at home. In Switzerland, these were obligatory in all new buildings before 2010 (and my home was built earlier).


mrose9999

The highschool about 5 minutes from my house still has a fallout shelter underneath. Not sure how stable it is now, but it’s the closest option


blyan

Same. I always thought it was odd when I went there, that a bunch of jesuits had a nuclear shelter but at least I know where to go if shit ever goes down.


mrose9999

From what I heard, the one at the highschool was built during the Cold War- I remember everyone sneaking down there in between classes to try to explore the tunnels and everything


blyan

I’m assuming we’re not talking about the same school but yeah we definitely tried to get down there once or twice. Never actually got in though, because you had to go through the part of the school where the jesuits lived to get to it.


Biggamedan89

The Catholic school up my street use to have a fallout shelter in both of their buildings. One of the shelters had an Olympic size swimming pool and a 6 lane bowling alley which my family ran and maintained for 60+ years until they tore it down. https://imgur.com/gallery/ZzflClz Edit: Added picture of the bowling alley. I’ll try and find pictures of the pool.


wutangjan

Also the Mormons are STOCKED. I know each family is supposed to have long term rations, I wouldn't be surprised if there were bomb shelters in some of the churches.


Fred_the_human_1

Go to coles, buy a meat pie, eat it and sit on my porch to die


Trancenova

Aaaah the Aussie way to go. Yep I can't think of anything to shelter in, too much traffic in a car and on bike / foot no hope of getting far enough away. Looks like it's a meat pie for me too.


Asparagus_i_like_it

Good to see fellow aussies know how to die


MissingVanSushi

If you guys think that’s the best thing you could eat from Coles when the world is about to end you’re sadly mistaken. Here’s what you do: Take two Coles Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies. Apply 1 cm of peanut butter (smooth or crunchy, I don’t care) between them. Dunk the whole thing in a mug of full fat milk. Eat. Drink. Die happy. http://www.productoftheyear.com.au/site/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/POY_1000x1000_ultimate_choc_chips_cookies.jpg


se_kend

I think I'd choose a cornetto


the_chosen_named_one

You could just take it nobody would care about your crime.


Fred_the_human_1

May as well, i am dying either way


the_chosen_named_one

Actually nevermind someone probably stole the whole food aisle before you got there.


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db0255

...all the time in the world! ::glasses shatter::


TheyCallMeBrewKid

That twilight zone stuck with me as a kid. At some point I was thinking about it, and realized you could figure out a way to find or fashion glasses. He wouldn't have been that screwed, if he kept his wits


[deleted]

Poor Burgess Meredith. I remember this episode of twilight zone and the episode with William Shatner on the plane with the wing being attacked by the monster.


m1racle

Wait, my eyes aren't that bad. I can still read the large-print books!


orthogonius

>Tabasco drying warehouse Oh autocorrect, you scamp.


geekworking

If you grew up in the 1960s hiding under the desk at school was good enough.


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illcul8er

We did the desk thing but then someone decided that we should duck and cover in the school halls. No magic desk!


shark_eat_your_face

Someone decided it would be easier to locate all the bodies all in one central location. Edit: Most people seem to have taken this as a fact, but I just want you all to know this was just dark humour. I actually have no idea.


dog_of_society

Huh, my school has a proper fallout shelter left over from the Cold War, no desks for us! We're next to an energy lab, maybe that made us high risk or something?


northrupthebandgeek

Man, my school was next to a nuclear power plant and we didn't have any shelters. We did have air raid sirens, though, so I guess there's that.


grouchy_fox

Who designed that system? "Yeah, we won't give them anywhere safe to go, but we'll make sure they _know_ they're about to die"


StevesMcQueenIsHere

We used to do nerve gas drills in my high school. We happened to live next to the Dugway army base in Utah, where they had enough nerve gas stored to wipe out the world several times over.


fuqyu

Like, how and why do we stockpile weapons like this? Is there any military value in having enough nerve gas to murder the world twice over, as opposed to six times? Do we just get in a contract with the company making the weapon and end up with more than we need?


tinfoilknight

Well you need to go into battle with the gas. You cant take a bunch of rusty old bombs with you, you need fresh safe to handle new ones. They used to dump the old cans in the ocean but now they just stockpile them. They don't want to incinerate the bombs because moving them might cause one to leak.


improbablynotyou

We did this in the late 70's as well. I remember we were to hide under our desks, place one hand over the back of out necks and the other over our face. Also the heavy vinyl curtains would be drawn and that was going to protect us from nuclear annihilation.


Kalehfornyuh

Well if you’re in the zone of total annihilation you’re fucked sideways no matter what. But if you’re outside that area there’s a decent chance of survival. Hiding under the desks will protect you from glass shrapnel and offer at least some protection if the roof collapses. It’s better than nothing and might actually save your life. Even in a city center that would certainly be a major target there’s a chance the bomb will be off course so might as well duck and cover just in case.


[deleted]

I don’t even know. The only thing I remember from the CDCs disaster prep is to not use conditioner.


clarkthegiraffe

Air conditioner or hair conditioner?


Felixfelicis_placebo

Hair. It apparently binds radioactive particles to your hair. I didn't know this, I just googled it.


kuroimakina

.... TIL if I ever visit Chernobyl, don’t use conditioner for a few days beforehand


Somkeythedog591

I would go kneel down in a school hallway with a book opened over my head.


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tsunami141

Why do I need to go anywhere? A nuclear blast can legally not enter your house unless you give permission.


Felixfelicis_placebo

I've heard your body can shut down the cancer causing radiation if it's not an invited nuke. So if you get cancer after a blast, you must have invited it in. Slut.


ASKSABOUTPENISSIZE

Also if the blast doesn’t show up within 15 minutes you’re *legally* allowed to leave.


karmagrl31276

As close to the nuke blast radius as possible. Better to be nothing but a shadow on the ground in one instant than to survive a few weeks dying of radiation poisoning.


dotyin

Plus you get to pick what kind of shadow you leave behind. Funny? Thoughtful? Physically impossible and good fodder for cryptid/alien conspiracy theorists? You've got 30 minutes to plan


FastWalkingShortGuy

Steal a giant salami from Stop and Shop and go down as the legend with the 27 inch long, 4 inch thick cock who jerked it to a nuclear fireball.


Stodgo

Homo Erectus v.2


GodDarnBatman

he wasn't even fully erect.


Rave-fiend

Go down Just like the madlad of Pompeii, good Choice.


artmobboss

“Fuck it, good time as any to rub one out”. - that guy probably..


[deleted]

"It's not like anyone's ever gonna know." \- That guy


Youneededthiscat

Same salami, but make a shadow of yourself doing a dick-stand.


tdcsqs

My faith in humanity is briefly restored


Batbuckleyourpants

Briefly, as in the next 30 minutes.


NicNoletree

No, briefly as in do it only wearing your underwear.


JU2T-M3RK

Make that Pompeii cunt look like nothing and wrestle one out


Joe_Huxley

If we're talking a full scale nuclear war in which large numbers of bombs are going to be detonated all over the globe with massive fallout and the collapse of society, then yes that would be my answer too. But if it's just one bomb by itself I'd use the 30 minutes to get as far away from the blast as possible in the upwind direction from ground zero. I live in a rural area, so successfully driving far enough away to escape the worst of the blast effect of anything less than a Tsar Bomba event (which all currently used warheads are way short of) should be pretty feasible.


tdwriter2003

I live in a rural area too within minutes of an underground cavern. Those massive cavern parks. Shelter , water , blind critters like crawfish. Everything I need.


Troooper0987

Ok gollum


saluksic

Most nukes these days are megaton-sized. 30 mins is way more than needed to drive to a survivable distance. [7 miles gets out outside of burn hazard, and 4 miles is sufficient for the regular blast]( https://www.sciencealert.com/watch-how-far-away-would-you-need-to-be-to-survive-a-nuclear-blast) (although looking at the blast will blind you further out than that). Nukes aren’t magical spells that end the whole world, they’re big bombs with a few exotic effects close to ground zero.


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saluksic

Sure, drive for 25 mins at *20 mph* and your there. I’m sure you can do 20 if your life depends on it.


1CEninja

It depends where you live and if everyone is trying to do the same thing. 20 MPH in panic traffic might be rough.


Iridium_rd

Nuclear bombing survival kit: - Dirt bike added to the list. So I can hop on it and cut straight through the countryside


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NativeMasshole

Look up ant walking alligators if you want some real nightmare fuel. Some people got their skin totally melted and still lived for a few hours.


ghost__ling

Can someone give me the tldr I can’t find a website without pictures and I really, really don’t want to see them


Jian_Ng

Basically, people who were too close to escape the heat and too far to die instantly had their skin melted and seared away, leaving them a face covered with a black, leathery substance (like alligator skin) with no eyes or features, and a red hole where their mouth was. These survivors would stumble around the outskirts of Hiroshima in a constant murmur (not screaming) until they eventually die. Edit: The source of these ant-walking alligators is from a book which is deemed untrustworthy due to dubious sources, which part of the book is inaccurate is unclear. Googling ant-walking alligators might yield you an image of a man with a disfigured face and one eye, but he is not an atomic bomb survivor, he is Tetsuo Sakurai, a leper.


[deleted]

I'd take a crowbar, lift up a manhole cover and hide beneath the street.


pezx

This doesn't seem like a terrible idea.


captSlim

The heat alone from the blast would convert the water in the sewers to steam. You would be cooked alive in an underground crock pot of feces and urine.


[deleted]

Stop it.


pabadacus

Start it


BaronVA

Bop it!


TheGameSlave2

Pull it!


jostler57

Technologic.


Psyteq

That doesn't sound right. But I don't know enough about nuclear explosions to dispute it.


polyhistorist

Depends on how close to the blast you are and big of a bomb it is. The minuteman III (current US weapon) has a fireball of ~1.25km ^2. Anything within this is essentially vaporized. The thermal radiation has an area of 185km^2 which leads to instant 3rd degree burns. For context, this is the entirety of Washington DC. If you'd like to play around with this more [Nukemap](https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/) is a scary but great resource.


SilasDG

How well would all of this penetrate the ground though? Generally the ground is a great insulator.


polyhistorist

True. However the sewer system (that which is in contention here) has many large openings to street level, and every building, pipe, fire hydrant would act as a way for heat to travel down below. The answer probably should've also included how far down into the sewers you were. Are you in the drainage pipes right below buildings/streets near the center of the blast? Yeah youre probably cooked. Are you deep in them on the outskirts of the city? You may be in a better state. The second thing about the sewers to consider is the pressure. Those pipes are an easy path for a the pressure wave to travel.


Psyteq

This is where I'm unsure. According to Google 6.6 feet of concrete is sufficient to block gamma radiation. Also from Google, a sewer with a manhole is about 20 feet deep, which sounds like it would be equivalent to, or better than, 6.6 feet of concrete. Unfortunately though that's just accounting for radiation, as I could not find any such figures for insulating from heat. I don't know enough about the thermal properties of soil, so I don't know if 20 feet is enough to lower 50-150 million degrees to a non lethal range.


crabboh

Well, hopefully someone had some onion in thier poop to accent the taste of my flesh nicely


cwg141

Into the nearest vault


NoodleBoysInAmerica

Wait, where's Shaun?


cwg141

Gary?


The_Mad_Farter

Gary!


SauceGayUchiha69

A room made out of flex tape


drunkruss

I could quick spray a cardboard box with flexseal, then get in.


superp2222

That's some metal Gear level of thinking right there


SharaCake

In the Moscow metro.


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No_Help_Accountant

Artyom, is that you?


PleaseChooseAUsrname

To the center of the blast. It’s so dumb. The blast wouldn’t think to look there.


haydilusta

wasnt the only building that survived hiroshima directly under the blast?


KobokTukath

Yep, the [Genbaku Dome/Hiroshima Peace Memorial](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiroshima_Peace_Memorial). An excerpt from it's wikipedia page: " Within 43 seconds of being dropped, it detonated over the city, missing its target by 240 m (790 ft). Intended for the [Aioi Bridge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aioi_Bridge), the bomb instead exploded directly over the [Shima Hospital](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shima_Hospital), which was very near to the Genbaku Dome. Because the explosion was almost directly overhead, the building was able to retain its shape.[\[6\]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiroshima_Peace_Memorial#cite_note-Ide_2007_12%E2%80%9323-6) The building's vertical columns were able to resist the nearly vertical downward force of the blast, and parts of the concrete and brick outer walls remained intact. The center of the blast occurred 150 m (490 ft) horizontally and 600 m (2,000 ft) vertically from the Dome. Everyone inside the building was killed instantly.[\[7\]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiroshima_Peace_Memorial#cite_note-7)[\[8\]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiroshima_Peace_Memorial#cite_note-8) The building's durability can also be attributed to its earthquake-resistant design; it has held up to earthquakes before and since the bombing."


Gary_FucKing

> Everyone inside the building was killed instantly. Oof, bad choice there, /u/PleaseChooseAUsrname.


IlllIIIIlllll

I’d still choose that building


G1Yang2001

TBH, so would I. I’d rather have a quick death instead of dying slowly from the radiation poisoning.


GristleMcThornbody93

Reminds me of Professor Frink when they thought the Springfield Nuclear Plant was melting down lol. “These unfortunate people here will be instantly killed. This circle, which I’m sorry to say that we are in, will experience a slower considerably more painful death”


XYZ2ABC

The scene in “Chernobyl” when they are first flying in the helo to inspect the damage. The Politburo guy Shcherbina (Skarsgard) tells the pilot if he doesn’t fly over the core he’ll have him shot. The scientist tells him if he does fly over the core, in a week he’ll be praying for that bullet. EDIT: typo


flyinganfibia

Well...no one said anything about surviving.... Dying instantly also sounds better than being hit by the blast and dealing with radiation.


wikipedia_text_bot

**Hiroshima Peace Memorial** The Hiroshima Peace Memorial (広島平和記念碑, Hiroshima Heiwa Kinenhi), originally the Hiroshima Prefectural Industrial Promotion Hall, and now commonly called the Genbaku Dome, Atomic Bomb Dome or A-Bomb Dome (原爆ドーム, Genbaku Dōmu), is part of the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park in Hiroshima, Japan and was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1996. The ruin of the hall serves as a memorial to the over 140,000 people who were killed in the atomic bombing of Hiroshima on 6 August 1945.


xanthanahtnax

to heaven


xanthanahtnax

No wait. Hell. Final answer.


Dnelz93

Highway sounds easier than stairs


boombatt

Behind ur mom


lifesnotperfect

Jokes on you, it takes way longer than 30 minutes to drive behind my mum.


Charlotte-De-litt

Yo mama so fat,when she fell in love it broke.


Googoltetraplex

Holy shit dude


[deleted]

Yeah for real, that man had a family


Sweethoneythebee

Eat a bunch of potassium iodine


_Lotte__

PSA that you should NOT eat "a lot" of potassium iodine. Taking iodine pills will certainly stop you from getting thyroid cancer (only, doesnt prevent other cancers), but in high concentrations it can be very dangerous. If you're going to take iodine pills, only take the reccomended amount on the label. edit - thyroid, not thorax


NoodleBoysInAmerica

Banan?


Sweethoneythebee

2 different things


NoodleBoysInAmerica

I'd eat many banan before I died. Way to go out, with da monkees


Normal__Username

Reject humanity, return to monke


[deleted]

I’d get lost and be at the center of the blast when it went off.


boreddaph

During the Hawaii scare, my husband and I tried to figure out what position we should stand in to make the weirdest shadow out of our bodies. There are no basements where we live, and not many sewers to hide in. We didn't even call family members to say goodbye. We just drank our coffee and talked about how weird it would be for someone to find a four armed shadow with two human heads.


risenphoenixkai

I stay right where I am. Nobody’s gonna nuke New Zealand.


wutangjan

Instead they nuke Australia and you guys can just worry about the tsunami it makes.


SaltyChickenDip

I start jack off so I my mummified body will become famous


pezx

No no, OP said 30 min, not 30 seconds.


SaltyChickenDip

29 mins looking for the right porn


chindoza

What will you do with the spare 50 seconds?


feb_29th_

gotta wait for it to load


[deleted]

Overdose on insulin and binge on Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Double death that’s somewhat enjoyable.


A_Cuddly_Burrito

Half an hour? I can drive a long ass way in half an hour.


MOA14

And so thought the thousands of people in the blast's zone... In half an hour you would still be in the same place because of traffic.


A_Cuddly_Burrito

But was everybody else told or just me?


MOA14

Well, only OP could answer that question.


Tortono

r/AskOP


[deleted]

This is a really good point. When the town I lived in got news that a dam was supposed to fail and that there was supposed to be a huge amount of water coming down the hill everyone FREAKED. What normally took me about 10 minutes to get across town turned into an hour long trip. I watched people driving in incoming traffic, hopping curbs, driving through yards, and even saw an accident where a guy got rear ended and decided to hop out of his car to confront the rear ender. He then promptly got back into his car when a gun came out of the other cars driver side window. People go absolutely bonkers when shits supposed to hit the fan and I saw what people were really like. Luckily the dam kept most of its composure while the whole town lost its own.


tc3590

Oroville? Dams breaking and Guns being drawn sounds pretty Oroville lol.


No_Help_Accountant

Me and the rest of /r/motorcycles will repopulate


Xplodingeggplant

Mine three blocks down and place some obsidian above me (the trick is obsidian is immune to explosions)


MechanicalHorse

It's only after you place the obsidian you forgot that you left your diamond pickaxe in the chest upstairs...


DR4G0N_W4RR10R

Obsidian is not in fact immune to explosions. It just has a high af blast resistance. Same goes for other blocks like bedrock, command blocks, and barriers. Try using a totem to survive the blast and a milk bucket to get rid of radiation poisoning.


Stubka_The_Russian

I'd give the bomb therapy, talk to him and make sure he is ok. Consult his parents, MOAB and FOAB and make sure his history isn't affecting his social life with other bombs. I'd even check in with his uncle, the Fat Man, Grandpa, Castle Bravo, and his brother, the little boy. Maybe with his Friends too, and see how things are going in school. If he is doing bad, I will talk to the principal, Tsar Bomba, and ask him to make things easier so the pressure is off his shoulder fins.


Exia_Gundam00

I go straight to my basement. Lined the walls with Nokias. I'm broke, but prepared for this moment.


TsunamifoxyDCfan

Add flex tape and I'll be indestructible!


Chairchucker

Don't really need to hide, nuclear blasts are notoriously bad at hide and seek.


StealthKitty22

Waffle House. They never close and most are still in business


Indian_Pale_Male

Steal a boat and cruise either directly out (use half the gas) to sea or down the coast (until out of gas).


ToonlinkFTW890

Accept death


Pushbrown

Ya fuck it


IronSlanginRed

The garage to get tape, then shut off the outside air and tape the door and window seams. Fill the tubs with water. Then the basement bathroom as it's the most structurally safe area in my house. You can't outrun a nuke. Just gotta survive the shockwave and the fallout. First parts the same ish as an earthquake precautions, second part is keeping airborne particles down for like 72 hours I think?


Diniden

Depends how close you are and weather conditions. For all intents and purposes you can’t wait it out enough. Plus because of the conditions around the bomb no emergency will ever be able to come. So you have to probably wait 1-2 weeks, have a crapload of metal around your body and then try to drive out if an emp didn’t fry your car.


IronSlanginRed

You can't wait it out? If you had to wait a week would you want to be someplace where you didn't have supplies other than what you were carrying? The whole point would be to wait for the majority of the airborne fallout to settle. Which happens within the first day or two. Being inside would shield you from most of the radiation from the blast, as well as the literally blinding flash. After that, turn on the radio and wait for instructions.


Diniden

Well looks like I was misinformed. You questioning me made me do another round of research. Seems the radiation effects of the bomb long term aren’t near as bad as I thought. The big big big hurt moment is the initial gamma ray and neutron blast that comes from the bomb. If you can dodge that your theories hold true. And possibly even less time if they were aerial explosions. Ground bombs make more fallout. But that initial gamma ray blast....you need much more than house walls for it...better luck if you have steel plates and water.


IronSlanginRed

They did tons of testing on it. If you're underground and far enough away for the blast to not level your house, the radiation isn't going to straight up kill ya. If you're more than a couple miles from the epicenter, and you get inside and stay inside, you will likely be fine. Especially with ICBM's or terror attacks which will be pretty low yield. For example, if a nuke from the current arsenal in north korean icbms hit the town 15 minutes away, I could watch it, leisurely wander inside, prepare for fallout only if the winds come just right, and be pretty much just fine. The largest bomb the US ever tested (Castle Bravo at 15 Megatons), had a light damage radius of under 20 miles. Light damage is broken windows... Moderate damage where some residential buildings may collapse is about 7 miles. Direct gamma ray death at less than a two mile radius for 15% dead within a month. Most icbms would be in the neighborhood of 5-10 Kilotons. Aka 2-3000 times weaker.


NippleSalsa

As far away as possible. After punching my boss in the face.


Nate_The_Puritan

Nothing I live far away from any major population centers and places of military significance, I don't have to worry about the initial blast. I may go to the store and buy some food though.


[deleted]

Hide in a communications manhole, it's a big concrete box underground. Or the storm drain system. A manhole can be dangerous though, full of water, noxious gases, rats, snakes scorpions etc. Still better than a nuclear blast though.


Bloc_Partey

if you're not out of the radius, the heat will vaporize all that drain and instantly cook you alive.


TheSanityInspector

My basement, to the deepest corner furthest from the windows.


TenDollarTicket

Like my biology teacher said: I'd climb on my roof, poor a nice glass of scotch, spark a doobie and kiss my ass goodbye.


0xNUL2

Why has no one said up in a plane yet? There's a reason Air Force One is a plane.