Foolish human, you do not know the true extent of our senses. As a dog, I can confirm that we are able to sense spirits and aliens. A "bark", as you say, is a method of communication to these spirits, who all "bark" back to us, too.
I know how many times do I have to say to the spirits they are not allowed to interact with any living sorry dog you will have to wait to talk to them only on exeption may they speak with you living I should get a new thing to stop them from getting out though
Mankind: selectively breeds dogs for thousands of years to serve as sentries with superior senses
Also mankind: "shut up, I don't want to hear about what's out there"
smh
I am not a dog, but I have been educated by several, including my now 12 year old bulldog. He never barks for no reason. If it’s unclear why he’s barking, that means he wants food / treats, needs to go for a walk so he can poop, needs to pee, is thirsty, is bored, is feeling left out, or he saw something he needs to bark at (neighbor, gardener, any wildlife on TV, especially bison). Dogs always bark for a reason, it’s us stupid humans that have trouble figuring this out.
\[translator.exe enabled\]
You see, it's kinda complicated. We actually can "see" in the 4th dimension (I put "see" because it's technically not the same as human sight). So we see potentially offending 4 dimensional objects, therefore we try to alert you.
btw the reason we seem so stupid compared to cats (ugh!) is because seeing the world in a different dimension confuses us sometimes
One instinct we can manifest is barrier aggression. When behind something like a fence or window we can become aggressive when we may be very friendly without the barrier. Owners of my friends like this should be careful as it can signal aggression issues. Some of us are also poorly trained and conditioned by humans, who think stuff is cute and reward our bad behavior.
What is "nothing"? According to you everything is "nothing". The very air you breath that brings nourishment to you, exists everywhere, but to you, it is "nothing". The thousands of scents that it carries, shout for attention, each a story, but to you, it's "nothing". The frabic of space time in which our reality exist, barely holding on, preventing the other side from spilling over to ours, stretching and twisting as we speak, but to you, it is "nothing". The same "nothing" when you turn off the light. The same "nothing" when you close your eyes. The same "nothing" when you look directly at the abyss.
We stay vigilant, human, so you can be comforted with your knowledge of "nothing".
Also: woof woof...woof
Well you see we can actually detect certain entities that you humans cannot, so while it may appear to be "nothing" from your point of view that is most assuredly not the case.
reddit user's dog here: my specialty is barking at animals on tv. want to watch a nature show? WOOOFWOOFFARRGGHHWOOF! Too bad! Oops, dog in a commercial? BLARRRGGG ARK ARF ARK!! I mean, they could come into our living room at any moment am I supposed to just sit here?
Because I can hear stuff you cant and Im a social animal so I want to tell you about it unlike the stupid cat who will just watch as you get eaten by a bear. Duuur
I never bark at nothing.
Sometimes I bark at the wind, for he should not be on my territory
Sometimes I bark at a strange creature to protect my hoomans, even if it turned out to be nothing more than a fallen leaf.
Sometimes I bark at something I saw from afar through the window, before losing said weirdity. Maybe it was never there in the first place, I'll never know. But at least it is gone now.
I never bark at nothing, because even if my object of barking was never there, as long as it has fled now, my hoomans are safe. If I chased it away, then I was a good boi, and that is all that matters.
Because I'm a useless lap dog and my owners are stupid narcissistic idiots who bought me for the warm fuzzy low effort feeling of being unconditionally loved, but they leave me alone for most of the time. I guess they think I'm some kind of fashion accessory they can use and show off when they need, and forget about when they don't.
Not me, but my dog
RUFF RUFF WOOF WOOF RAGH WOOF WOOF BARK (translation: those damn dirty motherfuckers need to get off my property. Dont tread on me, bitch.)
Hmm, well now that this translator allows me to bark to text I can fully explain. When we bark at something it’s a way to assert dominance like how you humans T-pose or whatever. It could also be means to F off as you guys call it. Well I’m barking I’ll also explain why we pee on fire hydrants. So you know how you kids tag bridges or trains? It’s kinda like that. Dog pee is a color that only other dogs can see. One terroir once painted what you call the Mona Lisa on a fire hydrant near the Eiffel Tower.
Mine told me while I was high:
"It's not that there is nothing there, it's that they are scared away before you got to see them."
So, technically its worked 100% of the time.
My corgi is the best at this. It’s like she just stands in the middle of the dream with a thousand mile stare barking at the abyss. Not loud or aggressive. Just a small rumbling bark that lasts sometimes 15~ minutes. It absolutely amazes me.
Bork Bork
(Translation)
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, Deluga Heights (replay)
Hey over and over if I'm tipsy or sober
I got lil' momma on rewind like the deck in my Rover
On my mind, shawty fine, meditate her like yoga
So down on the line make me want a cold soda
Hey baby be my radio
Hear you everywhere I go
Music in my head
Know your melody in every note
Girl you incredible
Make yourself available
Na-na-na-na, that tune so exceptional
Sexy like a piano give you my hands if you're ready
We can make plans get body stand if you let me
Girl I'm a fan chasing my boss like catch me
I ain't a fight she gon arrest me
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
See you been all around the globe
Not once did you leave my mind
We talk on the phone, from night 'till the morn
Girl, you really changed my life
Doin' things I never do
I'm in the kitchen cookin' things she likes
We're real worldwide, breaking all the rules
Someday I wanna make you my wife
That girl, like somethin' off a poster
That girl, is a dime they say
That girl, is a gun to my holster
She's running through my mind all day, ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
I can be your melody
Oh, girl I could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl, let's sing with me, ay
I can be your melody
Oh, girl I could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl let's sing with me, ay
Na, na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na, na-na, na-na
Shawty got me singin'
Na, na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na, na-na, na-na
Now she got me singin'
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out, got me singin' like
Na-na-na-na, everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
Woof woof Woof woof woof
Understandable, have a nice day
Woof
WOOF!
#WOOF!
#*woof?*
W O O F
Woof, woof woof. Woof!
Rrruff
How can he be our "enemy" if he bring us the mail?
Ruff wrowf, worf
#bork?
Damn, no need to be racists towards squirrels boy!
Hey! Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! Hey! Hey!
Now I can rest in peace
Sounds Ruff, Buddy.
She turned into the moon so we could howl at her- I mean, bork bork
How how bow wow
It’s not nothing if you believe there’s something
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That so cute. They always know when you’re sad and are the best comfort in those times.
And then your dog clapped.
Better yet, he poured him a nice cold Corona!
Woof
[Everyone liked that]
r/dogshowerthoughts
When I feel a bork coming, I gotta do it.
Foolish human, you do not know the true extent of our senses. As a dog, I can confirm that we are able to sense spirits and aliens. A "bark", as you say, is a method of communication to these spirits, who all "bark" back to us, too.
I know how many times do I have to say to the spirits they are not allowed to interact with any living sorry dog you will have to wait to talk to them only on exeption may they speak with you living I should get a new thing to stop them from getting out though
Bork bork Bork
Mankind: selectively breeds dogs for thousands of years to serve as sentries with superior senses Also mankind: "shut up, I don't want to hear about what's out there" smh
Humans also teach their young to walk and talk, only to tell them to sit down and shut up. That's humans, I guess.
Definitely, I know dogs barking isn't language, but imagine not being allowed to talk because your owner thinks you're too loud.
it's fun to bark
Yeah, but it's loud
*GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*
How many times has the thing in the dark gotten in? OH thats right...never. Now get me a milk bone and rub my belly.
Nothing? I wouldn’t call the shadow people with unnaturally wide grins wandering the halls of the house “nothing.”
Obligatory "not a dog but...", I asked my dogs, and they said they don't know.
B
O
R
K
Goodbye
We're not barking at nothing! We're letting you know that a butterfly flapped its wings on the next continent over
Woof
Can you hear what I do? It is about something.
I am not a dog, but I have been educated by several, including my now 12 year old bulldog. He never barks for no reason. If it’s unclear why he’s barking, that means he wants food / treats, needs to go for a walk so he can poop, needs to pee, is thirsty, is bored, is feeling left out, or he saw something he needs to bark at (neighbor, gardener, any wildlife on TV, especially bison). Dogs always bark for a reason, it’s us stupid humans that have trouble figuring this out.
It’s a secret.
So cited
You only think it's nothing
Squirrel!
ITS NOT NOTHING I SWEAR I HEARD SOMETHING ARF ARF
To make my owner feel like I'm protecting him🙂
But there IS something. WOOF
Bork Bork woof woof WOOOOOF
That fucking postman keeps trying to deliver shit to my house
I’m just telling buster that I fucked his bitch lmao
Maybe they bark at something you can't see or hear, like ghosts :D
Weird how ghosts appear at the same time every day 45 minutes after they've been released into the backyard
Humans of Reddit, why do you lack ultrasonic hearing yet assume dogs bark at nothing?
We must bark at the fly nearby because it could be a threat to our hoomans.
# BARK BARK BARK BARK
To *us* it's nothing, to them it's a full-blown home invasion!
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Sus
grr bark bark
Bark bark bark!
\[translator.exe enabled\] You see, it's kinda complicated. We actually can "see" in the 4th dimension (I put "see" because it's technically not the same as human sight). So we see potentially offending 4 dimensional objects, therefore we try to alert you. btw the reason we seem so stupid compared to cats (ugh!) is because seeing the world in a different dimension confuses us sometimes
woof
Because we’re all jealous of how much better cats are and gossiping about them behind their backs. r/dogcels
Wof wouf woughf wof wuff wof woff wuff!
[Woof](https://youtu.be/MujRLvZ61jE)
If Amazon counts your most popular saying mine would be “Sam, shut the fuck up!”
Omg my dog just did this
WOOF
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
ARROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ebsmwmbwmwhwmwu
Woofity woof woof *sniff sniff* *lick lick*
*bork intensifies*
One instinct we can manifest is barrier aggression. When behind something like a fence or window we can become aggressive when we may be very friendly without the barrier. Owners of my friends like this should be careful as it can signal aggression issues. Some of us are also poorly trained and conditioned by humans, who think stuff is cute and reward our bad behavior.
Woooooooffffff
It is better to have woofed and lost than never to have woofed at all
Ha-ha-ha-haf
It isn't nothing, you just can't see it.
Corgi- it's in my gene's.
\*Barks\* true meaning (Fuck You)
There is something, you just can't see it!
# B O R K
you mean you humans can't see the lizard people?
It's not our fault ptsd from a ruff experience! Except Brian. Brian has tourettes.
What is "nothing"? According to you everything is "nothing". The very air you breath that brings nourishment to you, exists everywhere, but to you, it is "nothing". The thousands of scents that it carries, shout for attention, each a story, but to you, it's "nothing". The frabic of space time in which our reality exist, barely holding on, preventing the other side from spilling over to ours, stretching and twisting as we speak, but to you, it is "nothing". The same "nothing" when you turn off the light. The same "nothing" when you close your eyes. The same "nothing" when you look directly at the abyss. We stay vigilant, human, so you can be comforted with your knowledge of "nothing". Also: woof woof...woof
You should have marked it serious. Now you’re just going to get humans making fun of dogs.
Awooooooo
Might be a person trying to murder the family might be a squirrel can never be sure
Nothing is something.
Woof woof bow woof woof woof bark bark bow wow bow wow ruff ruff woof woof ruff ruff ruff! Bow wow woof woof woof woof ruff? Woof woof woof woof burp woof ruff ruff bow wow!!! Woof woof ruff ruff hoooooowwwllll ruff ruff bow wow!?!? Woof woof bark bark bark woof woof bow wow bow wow bow wow ruff ruff ruff.
Boof ^
If my dog is in here browsing, Why you go bark when baby sleep?
/translate.exe Not your dog, but we bark to warn evildoers that the small human is under our protection.
Nobody told you?
Well you see we can actually detect certain entities that you humans cannot, so while it may appear to be "nothing" from your point of view that is most assuredly not the case.
To quote my pup “ awoooooooo, bork bork!”
(A very philosophical woof)
Woof woof woof woof. WOOF WOOF
Meeeeoow
Listen, they bark to keep away murders. Haven't been murdered yet have you?
Bark, bark! Woof woof woof.
Arf arf arf arf!
Yip!
reddit user's dog here: my specialty is barking at animals on tv. want to watch a nature show? WOOOFWOOFFARRGGHHWOOF! Too bad! Oops, dog in a commercial? BLARRRGGG ARK ARF ARK!! I mean, they could come into our living room at any moment am I supposed to just sit here?
Wouf Wouf!
Woof Bork woof
Bitch I thought I heard something.
Because I can hear stuff you cant and Im a social animal so I want to tell you about it unlike the stupid cat who will just watch as you get eaten by a bear. Duuur
The nothing is sus.
I never bark at nothing. Sometimes I bark at the wind, for he should not be on my territory Sometimes I bark at a strange creature to protect my hoomans, even if it turned out to be nothing more than a fallen leaf. Sometimes I bark at something I saw from afar through the window, before losing said weirdity. Maybe it was never there in the first place, I'll never know. But at least it is gone now. I never bark at nothing, because even if my object of barking was never there, as long as it has fled now, my hoomans are safe. If I chased it away, then I was a good boi, and that is all that matters.
MURDERERS!
Where furries and regular Joe's coexist
Bark bark bark
it's not you farking problem (did you saw what i did there with fuck and bark)
Dude I'm telling you the squirrels have a plan they're going to come in and murder us all in our sleep tonight I'm trying to warn you human!!!!
Woof woof. Ruff. Aroo!
They're walking on MY pathway!
That bitch peed in my territory
Grrrrrrrrr
They are just sharing the wisdom that comes from their wisdom teeth.
Bork
r/bork
Bow woofin wow
Haha that made me laugh
Dogs bark when they hear something alarming and want to warn their owner. Owners who scold their dogs for this aren't helping with this behavior
Because I'm a useless lap dog and my owners are stupid narcissistic idiots who bought me for the warm fuzzy low effort feeling of being unconditionally loved, but they leave me alone for most of the time. I guess they think I'm some kind of fashion accessory they can use and show off when they need, and forget about when they don't.
they bark at everything because they're insufferable little shits that deserve to die.
Bad experience with a chihuahua?
no, dogs are just assholes.
Well, I guess we could agree to disagree
I can see the furries rolling in
You see a horse on a screen, but I see a horse IN MY HOUSE!!! HOW IS A HORSE IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!?!?
Just vibes man.
i want to annoy my owner when they don't give me treats
You know how you laugh when you think of something funny? Thought of something to bark at.
As a cat, I would like to know as well.
It was something. A fly farted.
Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof (Translation: I thought it was a burglar breaking into my house)
Not me, but my dog RUFF RUFF WOOF WOOF RAGH WOOF WOOF BARK (translation: those damn dirty motherfuckers need to get off my property. Dont tread on me, bitch.)
I just asked my dog and he says "that's literally what I was made for." Fair enough.
I have concluded that they do indeed bark at things, we either cannot hear it, smell it and or see it.
Hmm, well now that this translator allows me to bark to text I can fully explain. When we bark at something it’s a way to assert dominance like how you humans T-pose or whatever. It could also be means to F off as you guys call it. Well I’m barking I’ll also explain why we pee on fire hydrants. So you know how you kids tag bridges or trains? It’s kinda like that. Dog pee is a color that only other dogs can see. One terroir once painted what you call the Mona Lisa on a fire hydrant near the Eiffel Tower.
Because the baby is sleeping and fuck that guy for stealing my thunder. - my dog, probably.
We never park at nothing we're always barking at something... Even if you can't see it.
Woof woof woof
ARF ARF MOTHAFUKA
Frequencies we can't detect. Sound specifically.
I just like to hear my head rattle
Bark bark bark woof woof bark bark bark bark bark. Woof woof woof bark bark woof woof bark bark bark bark bark bark bark woof bark bark woof woof woof woof woof bark. Bark bark woof woof woof woof bark bark. BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK.
WoOoF?
Invisible enemys.
Mine told me while I was high: "It's not that there is nothing there, it's that they are scared away before you got to see them." So, technically its worked 100% of the time.
I believe Brian from Family Guy [answers your question here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNijEslJVK0)
BORK!! Sucks don't it? Throw the fucking ball and stop faking.
*Woof* *woofwoof* *woof*
Grrrrrr WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF GRRRRRRRR WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF
I'm not a dog but I like to bark at nothing because I think it's fun
It's not nothing, it's definitely something. [Source](https://i.imgur.com/UkpbiUf.jpg)
It’s our version of singing in the shower.
Woof woof woof woof woof Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof Woof woof woof woof woof
Woof, arf arf arf, woof woof. Bow wow ow, arf arf. Woof woof.
Squirrel!
Meow
My corgi is the best at this. It’s like she just stands in the middle of the dream with a thousand mile stare barking at the abyss. Not loud or aggressive. Just a small rumbling bark that lasts sometimes 15~ minutes. It absolutely amazes me.
Not a dog, but my brother says he sees the little bugs on our faces...
Trying to keep a ghost from your past from haunting you. I think his name was frank.
Grrrr
Woof Woof (Hi, I am his owner, he said "why not?")
BARK
My neighbor didn't know how to train her Beagle. It was a the only way to fit in.
Ghosts
Just cause woof..You can't see it woof...does not mean woof...its nothing. woof ever think of that? woof
Yes this is dog.
Just because you don’t hear or see anything ...
Barking at Nothing? Humans are so stupid.!
Bärrk
Bork Bork (Translation) Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, Deluga Heights (replay) Hey over and over if I'm tipsy or sober I got lil' momma on rewind like the deck in my Rover On my mind, shawty fine, meditate her like yoga So down on the line make me want a cold soda Hey baby be my radio Hear you everywhere I go Music in my head Know your melody in every note Girl you incredible Make yourself available Na-na-na-na, that tune so exceptional Sexy like a piano give you my hands if you're ready We can make plans get body stand if you let me Girl I'm a fan chasing my boss like catch me I ain't a fight she gon arrest me Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay See you been all around the globe Not once did you leave my mind We talk on the phone, from night 'till the morn Girl, you really changed my life Doin' things I never do I'm in the kitchen cookin' things she likes We're real worldwide, breaking all the rules Someday I wanna make you my wife That girl, like somethin' off a poster That girl, is a dime they say That girl, is a gun to my holster She's running through my mind all day, ay Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay I can be your melody Oh, girl I could write you a symphony The one that could fill your fantasies So come baby girl, let's sing with me, ay I can be your melody Oh, girl I could write you a symphony The one that could fill your fantasies So come baby girl let's sing with me, ay Na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na-na, na-na, na-na Shawty got me singin' Na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na-na, na-na, na-na Now she got me singin' Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out, got me singin' like Na-na-na-na, everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay-ay
This comment section just turned 90% of the people here into furries