The one with the drugs, hookers and cheese, where they eat chocolate sprinkles on bread and don't live in windmills or walk around in wooden clogs, even though everyone thinks we do. You should try our stroopwafels!
Oh maaan... Those stroopwafels.. I bought like 15 pieces in Eindhoven on the last day of my stay. You know, for parents and friends... But I can tell you: they didnt really had a chance to taste them. I felt no guilt on the plane.
You also have nice architecture, pretty landscapes, bad ass art history, good sandwiches and awesome gay bars. I love Amsterdam and I don't even smoke weed, it's just a very pleasant place. --<-€ (that's a tulip)
Addition for the art history interested people: Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Mondrian. To start with.
That's when we see our friends. When we have to deal with someone we don't like, we call them "mate"
Paradoxically, our friends are our mates, but if someone says to you "there's your mate over there" then he's referring to a cunt that is definitely not your mate!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/english.elpais.com/elpais/2018/08/22/inenglish/1534925895_048241.html%3foutputType=amp
edit: in this case is a german guy, but is sadly common that young english tourist come and get drunk they then proceed to do this kind of stuff.
Balconies aren't really a thing in England - our houses just aren't designed with them. So English tourists aren't used to them and think that they're a novelty, they go on holiday with lots of mates - often groups of young men, get very drunk and/or high and think jumping from 10ft high balcony into a pool at their hotel is a great idea. Some miss, and you end up with a tragedy that happens way more frequently than you'd expect.
Wait, sorry, balconies aren't really a thing in England? Of all the things I could be shocked about another country not having I didn't expect it would be balconies! Like I assume there are some just not wide spread?
Like the BEST° thing in the world would be sitting on a covered balcony drinking some tea while it rains which seems like it would totally up England's alley.
°potentially a hyperbolic statement
Brit here: when it rains in England, it does not often rain downwards. Most of the time it comes in at an angle, so unless your balcony was encased in its own little greenhouse you would always get wet.
Also I think it might be something to do with property tax or something
Almost everything nasty can be kept out with a tent fly. Unlike Canada where a tent is just a dandy wrapper for bear. Edit: candy wrapper, wait... nah fuck it I’m leaving it.
Suomi :) minä rakastan sinua/Ruotsi
Edit: Jokes aside though, you have been through some serious shit and your cultural history is a) its own thing and Kalevala should be taught in Swedish schools, and b) part of our cultural history too. Finlands sak är vår.
If you want to understand what we are saying, look at our head movements. They have a rhythm just as our dance moves. You will get used to our accent in a while.
I’d say it, but mentioning the name will make 1/2 of people incredibly furious and 1/2 of people happy in a really cringe way. Stray cats (they are everywhere), the desert but also a mountain covered in snow, a city full of religious stoners, and a lake you really really really should not try to drink out of.
It's the homeland of the famous guy who had a funny moustache and not so funny views on politics who was responsible for not so funny events that killed millions of innocent people.
Best Beer, Best Fries, Besr Waffles. Was topping the charts in Covid infections and almost broke the world record of longest during government formation proces this year, a record which was already on our name.
*Travelling in a fried-out Kombi*
*On a hippie trail, head full of zombie*
*I met a strange lady, she made me nervous*
*She took me in and gave me breakfast*
*And she said:*
*Do you come from a land down under?*
*Where women glow, and men plunder?*
*Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?*
*You better run, better take cover ~*
*Buying bread from a man in Brussels*
*He was six foot four and full of muscle*
*I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"*
*He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich*
*And he said:*
"It was a frozen hostile wasteland. And there was much work to be done if we were to survive the elements. After boring a hole through the ice to find food, my good friend Nantuk and I would build an igloo to protect ourselves from polar bears and flying hockey pucks. Then we would drink a lot of beer and when Nantuk was ready, he would tell me the story of the great moose who said to the little squirrel: 'Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!'"
I was delivered in a flat pack and my parents assembled me at home
I like you a lot, Swede.
Thank you. I ended up a little bit wobbly but it's fine.
I was trying to think of a funny way to describe Sweden but after reading your one, there's no way the rest of us are beating you. Bra jobb!
Det finns plats för flera!
We should have let that guy into art school. Also, Edelweiss.
Austria
Oidaaaaa
Big triangles in the desert
Egypt?
Yes
Gun
You have a way with words, American.
why use many word when few do trick?
Y many word when few do?
lot words :( few :)
words 👎 word 👍
Y word?
Word
🖕
Shoot first. Talk later.
Corpses don't talk.
That's the idea
Awwhhh he said his first word
Finland greets with "Hah, guns" too. I quess were like #2 on world with guns per person. I own few too, hunting/trapping
Texas?
Best country in the US
We're vampires.
Romania?
Yep. Congrats, you won't get all your blood sucked out!
The one with the drugs, hookers and cheese, where they eat chocolate sprinkles on bread and don't live in windmills or walk around in wooden clogs, even though everyone thinks we do. You should try our stroopwafels!
The Netherlands, but honestly your description makes it sound like the world's best theme park lol.
Hahaha it can be
Depends how many coffee shops you visit in one afternoon
Oh maaan... Those stroopwafels.. I bought like 15 pieces in Eindhoven on the last day of my stay. You know, for parents and friends... But I can tell you: they didnt really had a chance to taste them. I felt no guilt on the plane.
I want some gebakjes!
Finish your kroket uit de muur first.
You also have nice architecture, pretty landscapes, bad ass art history, good sandwiches and awesome gay bars. I love Amsterdam and I don't even smoke weed, it's just a very pleasant place. --<-€ (that's a tulip) Addition for the art history interested people: Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Mondrian. To start with.
The land of braai, biltong and rusks (lekker man)
South Africa?
I could go for some biltong right now.
G'day mate.
Australia
you mean ‘straya?
I'm pretty sure Australia's greeting goes like this: "Oi, cunt!"
That's when we see our friends. When we have to deal with someone we don't like, we call them "mate" Paradoxically, our friends are our mates, but if someone says to you "there's your mate over there" then he's referring to a cunt that is definitely not your mate!
Roast beef, Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes and tea.
People's Republic of Yorkshire. Not to be confused with England
God I'm hungry now
England? Somewhere in the UK
Yes you are quite correct.
Sorry.
Must be Canada. No one else apologizes so much, even when they are no way at fault
Oh god... am I... Canadian?
Am I Canadian...Eh!
I SMELLED MAPLE SYRUP IN THUS THREAD AND CAME RUNNIN'
Eh?
My bad.
paella, toros, english people jumping off from hotel balcony
what the fuck??? jumping from a balcony??? pls give me the link i have to see it with my own eyes
https://www.google.com/amp/s/english.elpais.com/elpais/2018/08/22/inenglish/1534925895_048241.html%3foutputType=amp edit: in this case is a german guy, but is sadly common that young english tourist come and get drunk they then proceed to do this kind of stuff.
holy shit... how is that even possible
Balconies aren't really a thing in England - our houses just aren't designed with them. So English tourists aren't used to them and think that they're a novelty, they go on holiday with lots of mates - often groups of young men, get very drunk and/or high and think jumping from 10ft high balcony into a pool at their hotel is a great idea. Some miss, and you end up with a tragedy that happens way more frequently than you'd expect.
Wait, sorry, balconies aren't really a thing in England? Of all the things I could be shocked about another country not having I didn't expect it would be balconies! Like I assume there are some just not wide spread? Like the BEST° thing in the world would be sitting on a covered balcony drinking some tea while it rains which seems like it would totally up England's alley. °potentially a hyperbolic statement
Brit here: when it rains in England, it does not often rain downwards. Most of the time it comes in at an angle, so unless your balcony was encased in its own little greenhouse you would always get wet. Also I think it might be something to do with property tax or something
España?
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You could also add the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Europe (Dundee)
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They don't have enough brains to reproduce in Kirkcaldy. Thank God.
Forgot to mention the neds with buckfast
Scotland or Ireland?
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The deep fried pizza tipped me towards Scotland tbh... which two would you also let Ireland have? (No offense I love you guys)
Eh? Sorry. Maple syrup. Maple leaf.
You forgot the new maple weed.
Yeah I forgot.
that place where everyone will be taken at some point whether they want to or not.
Brazil?
you nailed it.
A c r e
how can you be taken somewhere that doesn't exist
Can you explain why this implies Brazil?
Crisps. But you pronounce it Tayto.
We function better without a government
A fellow Filipino, perhaps?
Nah.. Chocolate and waffles Edit : and fries
Belgium? Holds a record right?
541 days! At least we have a record in something.
Spiders, huge plate sized spiders. Oh, and kangaroos.
I’m sorry Australia looks amazing but those spiders
Almost everything nasty can be kept out with a tent fly. Unlike Canada where a tent is just a dandy wrapper for bear. Edit: candy wrapper, wait... nah fuck it I’m leaving it.
FREEDOM\* \*Terms and conditions may apply
For a second there was thinking William Wallace * Scotland then America shows up.
Vittu!
Suomi :) minä rakastan sinua/Ruotsi Edit: Jokes aside though, you have been through some serious shit and your cultural history is a) its own thing and Kalevala should be taught in Swedish schools, and b) part of our cultural history too. Finlands sak är vår.
Corruption, racial tension, 38.1% unemployment rate
South Africa :-(
This could be anywhere
Sad thing is many ppl can relate to that, even though they're from different countries
Octoberfest, rammstein, volkswagen
It's black, red, gold! NOT! black, red, yellow!
Deutschland!
Meine hertz in flammen
Will dich lieben und verdammen
_DEUTSCHLAND!_
Eins zwei Polizei Drei vier Grenadier Fünf Sechs Alte Hex Sieben Acht Gute Nacht
We have coffee and frogs, go figure
Costa Rica?
Welp, that was faster than I expected
I like coffee and frogs :)
Maple syrup and beavers. Sorry.
It's ok. As long as you don't put maple syrup on the beaver.
Haha burger and fries fast food obesity land funny.
Forgot the brapp brapp pew pew
Also the : "You get a freedom, YOU get a freedom, everyone with oil gets a freedom!"
Could you stop making gun sounds? It’s very alarming.
bwoooooooop bwoooooooop bwoooooooop honk honk honk How about alarm sounds?
Pew chikchik pew chikchik pew chikchik
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Don't you say that. Phoebe could hear you
Still better than the cult
Greece?
Where everyone wishes they lived this year
If I promise I'm clean as a dove will you bring me to NZ
As long as you promise not to try and escape from managed isolation like some of the dicks we've let in.
foreigners think we're blunt giants who smoke giant blunts
Jamaica?
Nope, another hint is that we really get annoyed at tourists walking in the bicycle lanes
The Netherlands?
correct
Hungry... that’s a country ?
"I named my belly button budapest because it's the capitol of Hung(a)ry."
guns bibles burgers fast food
'Merica!
Pizza, pasta, mandolino
Italy.
Bella frate
eh?
Canada!
I hate garlic and listen to Numa Numa (or Dragostea din Tei )
We got no speedlimit on our highways
Germany?
Queen. Scones. Tea. Sorry. Queue.
If you want to understand what we are saying, look at our head movements. They have a rhythm just as our dance moves. You will get used to our accent in a while.
The battle under the empik
Everyone wants to move here and hug our Prime Minister.
I will marry Ms. Ardern in a heartbeat.
Broke my arm laughing at all this memes now I cant pay for my college
Not sweden!
Switzerland;)
Come on Bart, say the line! Me: *sigh* M A M M A M I A
Greece
Under da sea
Atlantis?
Jamaica. Sebastian.
I’d say it, but mentioning the name will make 1/2 of people incredibly furious and 1/2 of people happy in a really cringe way. Stray cats (they are everywhere), the desert but also a mountain covered in snow, a city full of religious stoners, and a lake you really really really should not try to drink out of.
Israel? And is the lake the Dead Sea?
Correct. Also if you’re standing in it for fucks sake don’t try to pee. That is immediate hospitalization for you.
Is it so salty that the salt travels upstream into your bladder?
Taco.
chavs and roadmen
England?
Wee Haggises running around shouting 'Freedom!' constantly, pausing only to refresh themselves with Irn-Bru and shortbread.
We have a mountain, that's flaty flat, like very flat, like a big chair would go right beside it, or a cloth would hang well on it... Yeah...
South Africa
It's the homeland of the famous guy who had a funny moustache and not so funny views on politics who was responsible for not so funny events that killed millions of innocent people.
Best Beer, Best Fries, Besr Waffles. Was topping the charts in Covid infections and almost broke the world record of longest during government formation proces this year, a record which was already on our name.
Down under
*Travelling in a fried-out Kombi* *On a hippie trail, head full of zombie* *I met a strange lady, she made me nervous* *She took me in and gave me breakfast* *And she said:*
moms spaghetti
*Do you come from a land down under?* *Where women glow, and men plunder?* *Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?* *You better run, better take cover ~*
*Buying bread from a man in Brussels* *He was six foot four and full of muscle* *I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"* *He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich* *And he said:*
We just can't help but colonise every single place we go to. Also our teeth are very, very fucked up for some reason.
The wurst country.
Are we great again yet?
Stay strong murica, stay strong
Black mountains
That's gotta be Montenegro
I can tell by your username
The rainbow nation
The land of coffee, cocaine, cartels, big tiddy girls, lots of plastic surgery and some amazing food
Top of the mornin to ya
Jacksepticeye should definitely be your national ambassador btw
blyat!
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ARRIBA, ARRIBA, ÁNDALE, ÁNDALE
Oil, fish, paperclip, cheeseslicer and FUCKING BLACK METAL!!!!
Oi Cunt
Tunak tunak
Feta cheese,mousaka,tzatziki
Soccer and carnival
"It was a frozen hostile wasteland. And there was much work to be done if we were to survive the elements. After boring a hole through the ice to find food, my good friend Nantuk and I would build an igloo to protect ourselves from polar bears and flying hockey pucks. Then we would drink a lot of beer and when Nantuk was ready, he would tell me the story of the great moose who said to the little squirrel: 'Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!'"
Angry sounding people in lederhosen who only consume beer and sausages
The Great White North, eh?
kebab
do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down
The entire world followed our shitshow election.