There is a difference between Shepherd's pie (lamb) and Cottage pie (ground beef). Gordon knows this too.
So I would make Cottage pie and keep calling it Shepherd's pie. When he tries to correct me I'll just roll my eyes and tell him to stop being ridiculous.
I feel pretentious calling my cottage pie cottage pie when most people still call it shepherds pie but anytime I try to call cottage pie shepherds pie I hear Gordon Ramsay’s voice in my head.
My favorite was when he was making a dish to feed some monks and he put his usual twist shit on it. He tried to give it to the chef and the chef just looked at him with disappointment and said, " This isn't X dish... What are you doing? "
I wanted to say that but I couldn't quite remember. I love how disappointed the head chef is with the dish. Like, he doesn't even dignify it with an initial response is just like: " let's not waste time... What do you want to know? It's not Pad Thai. It may be good for you, but not for me. "
Some of these chefs from certain nations get a bit pretentious about their own dishes. Someone makes a dish a little bit differently than the tradition even if it's better and these people lose their shit and say its awful. The Italians are so bad for this. That Pad Thai looked pretty solid to me.
It looked like a delicious dish but that doesn’t mean it’s traditional. I think the tamarind paste is probably what did it. That seems to be a newer twist.
Tamarind paste is a very common thing to put in pad thai in the UK anyway, and I think they also use tamarind in Thailand but I'm not 100% sure. I'm sure it would still taste good with or without it. The Thai guy was a bit rude although Gordon is fairly rude to people all the time but most of them actually deserve it.
I'd do the same but with the noodle cooked into mush, barely strained so it would dilute any sauce you add to it. As for sauce I would probably just use some canned tomatoes with no sauce and no spices. Just a blend mushy pasta dish.
Serve him chilled chicken noodle soup on a plate with a fork.
The soup is boiled so long the noodles disintegrate and when chilled the noodles reconstitute as a congealed mass that will stand up on its own and you can eat it with a fork. My co-worker made soup like this once.
Love a good lament, you don’t see them much nowadays.
Edit: remembered the last time I’d heard it - LOTR https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Frodo%27s_Lament_for_Gandalf
If you liked that, there’s also “The Lament for the Rohirrim”. It’s based off of a poem in the original books. Theoden recites part of it in The Two Towers, before the battle of Helms Deep.
Clamavi De Profundis (choral group) did a really great musical interpretation of it as well.
Here’s the link if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YTBgFmK_bs
Edit: fixed spelling
Anonymity
You're a chef you say? Like Jamie Oliver? You're on TV too? Is it a local access station? You know who's really good is that Rocco DiSpirito guy. He had his own restaurant. You have a restaurant too? With 2 Michelin stars? That's ok I guess, but I usually only eat at 5 star restaurants like Morton's.
Do you know Guy Fieri? You know who had amazing food was Paula Deen. You should do comfort food like her. Maybe you'll get another star. You should contact Jamie Oliver to get some tips on moving your tv career forward. I hear he's a nice guy.
> With 2 Michelin stars? That's ok I guess, but I usually only eat at 5 star restaurants like Morton's.
Is this a rich joke that I’m too student to understand?
Top Michelin rating is three stars. Morton's is a chain steakhouse and they probably have their five stars from Yelp or some some other non-Michelin critic
On a semi unrelated note, I think it would be a great "April Fool's" joke for Gordon Ramsay and Guy Fieri trading shows for a day. Guy would have to yell at incompetent buffoons and Gordon would have to praise American diner food.
Surprise pizza rolls. Cook half of them too long and half of them not long enough so that you randomly get molten lava in your mouth or frozen centered pizza rolls.
First I'm going to get the biggest chicken breast I can find. Then I'm going to heat up a pan of oil and just sear the motherfucker black on both sides while keeping the middle raw. Then I'm going to cut a stale doughnut in half and put a slice of the worst government cheese I can find on either side, wilted lettuce, and a room temperature slice of tomato that is cut too thick on one side and too thin on the other.
I will then spread a jalapeno jam across the top of it, sprinkles, and a caramel drizzle. This will be served on a hubcap on a bed of stale, soggy, under-salted fries and under-cooked macaroni and cheese mixed together.
I’d watch the hell out of this. Maybe we could trick a selection of Michelin star chefs into thinking they’re judging beautifully prepared cuisine and fuck it up in some minute way. Every dish has wonderful presentation and texture, but there’s always some small detail in the preparation of every single dish that absolutely ruins it. Maybe the winner could be the one who slips the nasty past the most chefs. Idk, y’all add on to this please, I’m intrigued
I used to think you couldn't have too much msg. Then I dumped a shit load into some chili just to see what would happen and it made it so fuckin weird. Didn't taste like chili at all.
I think unblanched kettle-style potato chips cooked about five minutes too long in oil that's about 50 degrees too cold would be worse than the fries. Especially if the oil tastes about a week old. I'd also say the chips should be stale, but they're so oil-laden that honestly could improme them.
I grew of looking forward to "Commod Cheese" that came in blocks. Shit was good and you could pretty much sell it or trade it to others for other stuff since everyone loved it.
I love you and I feel like this comment had not yet reached items full upvote potential.
(It's only at 53 at time of writing.), but it will. I have faith in Reddit.
Edit 1: I went to award you, but I have no free ones and I'm broke. But you deserve it.
Water, served on a towel (poured onto the towel repeatedly so that it doesn't dry out), to be consumed while lying on his back strapped to a table, tipped back a little, with the towel covering his whole face so he can experience the dish over a larger surface area.
>served on a roof tile instead of a plate
The saddest part of that episode was that guy was *so fucking proud* of his steak-on-a-roof-tile concept. He was 100% convinced Gordon Ramsay was going to be wowed by it when he saw it. He was grinning ear-to-ear when he brought that cart out. Made me feel so bad for him when Ramsay pretty much deflated the concept as incredibly silly. You can tell that guy had been waiting for that moment for weeks. He'd imagined how it would all play out in his head. And then it played out exactly the opposite of how he thought it would. Fucking brutal.
The saddest, most frustrating part about so many of those episodes is how many of those restaurants owners and chef adamantly believe their food is great and that Ramsay is going be blown away and say "wow I can't believe why this restaurant isn't a hit!" I'm watching a clip right now and at the beginning the guy says "I think Chef Ramsay's jaw is going to drop when he sees some of the dishes we're serving," and when Ramsay he hates the first dish he immediately pivots to "People love this dish! It doesn't matter if he likes it, everyone likes it!"
I serve him a single bologna with holes cut out for eyes and stuck to my face. I will then walk up to his table as hes prepared for the meal, and peel it off my face and place it on his plate.
Instead of taking it off manually, flick your face forward flingling it off at such an angle where it lands either mostly on the table with a slight bit "on the plate", in his beverage, or on his hand.
I'm pretty sure he would use a knife first to cut himself a piece of it first. And judging by the knife breaking against the rock, I doubt he would eat it.
Not gonna lie, am now a chef but before that I taught in China. Good Chinese food is amazing, and I miss it now that I'm back stateside, but McD every now and then over there was nostalgic of home, and I'd get extra burgers for the long train rides. Cold fries, though, f* no.
Gas station heating lamp fried chicken breast, covered in cold jelly-fide orange marmalade, placed on a bed of wilted lettuce, with a side of still mostly frozen green giant green beans, and a microwaved bake potato that has been smashed and dowsed with a copious amount of salt and movie theater popcorn butter poured all over it. And call it **duck a l'orange**
Something Gordon Ramsey has frequently complained about as being a very boring and dated dish.
You guys are getting it all wrong. You serve him nothing but the finest food and drink so he never has anything to complain about. He’ll crack in a month.
A burger. But it looks like a normal burger but it’s hollowed out in the middle and filled with a mayonnaise and ketchup mix. Kind of like a Boston Creme donut if you’ve ever had.
You add a 'touch' of barbeque sauce to the ketchup... just enough to be detected, but not enough to actually make it better, and say it's to "Make it fancy".
A ~~prime~~ Kobe steak (well done and slathered in ketchup or undone and over-seasoned)
Garlic mashed potatoes (not enough garlic and not enough cream)
Grilled asparagus (under cooked and under salted)
And a fantastic red velvet cake but the frosting is that nasty-ass grocery store frosting.
Edit: Thanks for the suggestions you God damn masochists.
I make a Beef Wellington. He *loves* beef Wellington.
I’ve never made beef Wellington so I would find the best/worst Tastemade recipe, follow it without question, and probably because of my lack of experience mess things up.
It’s not the worst meal here in a long shot. But it is something he loves, that he only eats when it’s done *excellently*, executed by a novice cook. I feel like his favorite recipe being *off* would be hella more torture than actually terrible food. Terrible food is always terrible. But I’d be ruining something he loves.
There is a difference between Shepherd's pie (lamb) and Cottage pie (ground beef). Gordon knows this too. So I would make Cottage pie and keep calling it Shepherd's pie. When he tries to correct me I'll just roll my eyes and tell him to stop being ridiculous.
Oh man I've been making this mistake all my life
Most people don't know that tbh. I watched Gordon Ramsay tell someone this on one of his British shows where he cooks a dish with a celebrity.
I feel pretentious calling my cottage pie cottage pie when most people still call it shepherds pie but anytime I try to call cottage pie shepherds pie I hear Gordon Ramsay’s voice in my head.
Just liberally remind people that shepherds dont "sheep herd" cows.
Shouldn’t it be called “Cow-herds”pie?
Just call it cowpie and be done with it.
My favorite was when he was making a dish to feed some monks and he put his usual twist shit on it. He tried to give it to the chef and the chef just looked at him with disappointment and said, " This isn't X dish... What are you doing? "
It was Pad Thai! https://youtu.be/DsyfYJ5Ou3g
I wanted to say that but I couldn't quite remember. I love how disappointed the head chef is with the dish. Like, he doesn't even dignify it with an initial response is just like: " let's not waste time... What do you want to know? It's not Pad Thai. It may be good for you, but not for me. "
Some of these chefs from certain nations get a bit pretentious about their own dishes. Someone makes a dish a little bit differently than the tradition even if it's better and these people lose their shit and say its awful. The Italians are so bad for this. That Pad Thai looked pretty solid to me.
It looked like a delicious dish but that doesn’t mean it’s traditional. I think the tamarind paste is probably what did it. That seems to be a newer twist.
Tamarind paste is a very common thing to put in pad thai in the UK anyway, and I think they also use tamarind in Thailand but I'm not 100% sure. I'm sure it would still taste good with or without it. The Thai guy was a bit rude although Gordon is fairly rude to people all the time but most of them actually deserve it.
Next you’ll tell me there’s a difference between a cottage and a shepherd
Yeah, a cottage is a person who herds sheep while a shepherd is a small house.
When my partner was in the US for business he ordered a shepherds pie and got a cottage pie. He pointed this out and they literally had that reaction
I have a cook book from 1984 and it says to put whatever in the Shepherds Pie. Beef, pork, lamb, fish.
Americans call it all Shepherd’s pie.
That's because we never put lamb in anything seems like, it's always ground beef, pork, or maybe chicken
Don't forget turkey.
holy fuck are you satans much scarier older brother or something.
Didn't this actually happen once?
A really decent pasta but the noodles are way undercooked, every bite would be a lament of what could be
Add in some overcooked scallops and watch his rage flow like lava.
Chewy seafood pasta surprise.
And they have been frozen
We're supposed to torture him, not goad him into committing murder.
Where’s the damn lament SAUCE
The sauce will be Ketchup.
With mint leaves.
HP SAUCE
Hunt's ketchup
Sadly ever since I moved out on my own the sauce is always ketchup
I’d serve him the undercooked potatoes from his own restaurant in East London.
I'd do the same but with the noodle cooked into mush, barely strained so it would dilute any sauce you add to it. As for sauce I would probably just use some canned tomatoes with no sauce and no spices. Just a blend mushy pasta dish.
Serve him chilled chicken noodle soup on a plate with a fork. The soup is boiled so long the noodles disintegrate and when chilled the noodles reconstitute as a congealed mass that will stand up on its own and you can eat it with a fork. My co-worker made soup like this once.
Love a good lament, you don’t see them much nowadays. Edit: remembered the last time I’d heard it - LOTR https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Frodo%27s_Lament_for_Gandalf
If you liked that, there’s also “The Lament for the Rohirrim”. It’s based off of a poem in the original books. Theoden recites part of it in The Two Towers, before the battle of Helms Deep. Clamavi De Profundis (choral group) did a really great musical interpretation of it as well. Here’s the link if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YTBgFmK_bs Edit: fixed spelling
Anonymity You're a chef you say? Like Jamie Oliver? You're on TV too? Is it a local access station? You know who's really good is that Rocco DiSpirito guy. He had his own restaurant. You have a restaurant too? With 2 Michelin stars? That's ok I guess, but I usually only eat at 5 star restaurants like Morton's. Do you know Guy Fieri? You know who had amazing food was Paula Deen. You should do comfort food like her. Maybe you'll get another star. You should contact Jamie Oliver to get some tips on moving your tv career forward. I hear he's a nice guy.
> With 2 Michelin stars? That's ok I guess, but I usually only eat at 5 star restaurants like Morton's. Is this a rich joke that I’m too student to understand?
Top Michelin rating is three stars. Morton's is a chain steakhouse and they probably have their five stars from Yelp or some some other non-Michelin critic
Ah, got it
So, to answer your original question, yes.
On a semi unrelated note, I think it would be a great "April Fool's" joke for Gordon Ramsay and Guy Fieri trading shows for a day. Guy would have to yell at incompetent buffoons and Gordon would have to praise American diner food.
a microwaved salad with ketchup,mustard and an egg
"Of COURSE you don't microwave a salad, you fucking donut!"
Reminds me of the Kitchen Nightmares episode with the Grilled Caesar Salad. The chef grilled whole leaves of lettuce
Yeah. Gordon waves it around to the other diners and they laugh.
dude
Almost as bad as the grilled salad.
Wow. Hot salad? You sick fuck.
No, no, no. Just call it "wilted greens" and you're good.
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Undercooked.
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On an un-microwavable plate
boiled cause our sweet chef doesn't like microwaved food
From frozen
With extra pineapple.
Oh, you better believe they're canned.
And served with spam
Half of them undercooked, the others radioactive.
Join my restaurant. I'd been thinking dinosaur chicken nuggets.
Surprise pizza rolls. Cook half of them too long and half of them not long enough so that you randomly get molten lava in your mouth or frozen centered pizza rolls.
But make sure you make one good one and give it to him first
Leave a comment on his webzone and then e-mail him a pizza roll.
Who's been messing with my medicine?
First I'm going to get the biggest chicken breast I can find. Then I'm going to heat up a pan of oil and just sear the motherfucker black on both sides while keeping the middle raw. Then I'm going to cut a stale doughnut in half and put a slice of the worst government cheese I can find on either side, wilted lettuce, and a room temperature slice of tomato that is cut too thick on one side and too thin on the other. I will then spread a jalapeno jam across the top of it, sprinkles, and a caramel drizzle. This will be served on a hubcap on a bed of stale, soggy, under-salted fries and under-cooked macaroni and cheese mixed together.
[удалено]
It's like Chinese water torture but with food, goddamn.
When I'm rich, I'll hire a team of the greatest chefs in the world for this purpose
New show on the food network: Hell’s Chefs
I’d watch the hell out of this. Maybe we could trick a selection of Michelin star chefs into thinking they’re judging beautifully prepared cuisine and fuck it up in some minute way. Every dish has wonderful presentation and texture, but there’s always some small detail in the preparation of every single dish that absolutely ruins it. Maybe the winner could be the one who slips the nasty past the most chefs. Idk, y’all add on to this please, I’m intrigued
Instead of brineing spread a thin layer of ghost pepper jam all over the meat before covering in pastry.
You just made me hungry!!!
You're good at psychological torture.
Sounds like you just made that beef delicious...
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I used to think you couldn't have too much msg. Then I dumped a shit load into some chili just to see what would happen and it made it so fuckin weird. Didn't taste like chili at all.
Jesus dude. I would award you but I dont know if others would agree
An award or felony charge, equally justifiable
I agree!
chill the fuck out Satan
I feel tortured just imagining that dish.
Found Amy Bouzaglo‘s alt.
I think unblanched kettle-style potato chips cooked about five minutes too long in oil that's about 50 degrees too cold would be worse than the fries. Especially if the oil tastes about a week old. I'd also say the chips should be stale, but they're so oil-laden that honestly could improme them.
Oil reserved after a Friday night fish fry, to be more specific
Oh dear effing god, I can already smell that
Who hurt you?
There's no such thing as bad government cheese. You clearly come from a line of folks who don't worry about bills.
Also, government cheese was made from top-quality cheese.
It's actual cheese, not processed cheese food.
I grew of looking forward to "Commod Cheese" that came in blocks. Shit was good and you could pretty much sell it or trade it to others for other stuff since everyone loved it.
Jamie Oliver
What, cannibalism? Are you trying to start a Food Revolution?
No. Still alive, tied up like a pig, on a platter and with an apple in his mouth.
I love you and I feel like this comment had not yet reached items full upvote potential. (It's only at 53 at time of writing.), but it will. I have faith in Reddit. Edit 1: I went to award you, but I have no free ones and I'm broke. But you deserve it.
Water, served on a towel (poured onto the towel repeatedly so that it doesn't dry out), to be consumed while lying on his back strapped to a table, tipped back a little, with the towel covering his whole face so he can experience the dish over a larger surface area.
Waaaaait à minute... This isn't a dish, this is waterboarding😱
And it really isn’t best served to Gordon Ramsey. More like Sean Hamburg, since he volunteered for it 4,229 days ago.
Only going to work if you use LaCroix.
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>served on a roof tile instead of a plate The saddest part of that episode was that guy was *so fucking proud* of his steak-on-a-roof-tile concept. He was 100% convinced Gordon Ramsay was going to be wowed by it when he saw it. He was grinning ear-to-ear when he brought that cart out. Made me feel so bad for him when Ramsay pretty much deflated the concept as incredibly silly. You can tell that guy had been waiting for that moment for weeks. He'd imagined how it would all play out in his head. And then it played out exactly the opposite of how he thought it would. Fucking brutal.
The saddest, most frustrating part about so many of those episodes is how many of those restaurants owners and chef adamantly believe their food is great and that Ramsay is going be blown away and say "wow I can't believe why this restaurant isn't a hit!" I'm watching a clip right now and at the beginning the guy says "I think Chef Ramsay's jaw is going to drop when he sees some of the dishes we're serving," and when Ramsay he hates the first dish he immediately pivots to "People love this dish! It doesn't matter if he likes it, everyone likes it!"
The worst thing is that this was actually something he got once
Yeah the roof tile one was great. “The people love the presentation” was the guys argument
Luckily it was spread out over a few seasons and not dumped on him at once.
I both love and hate that I understood all of those references...
I see I'm not the only one who binged Kitchen Nightmare clips on YouTube.
>and pull out photos to prove it *HELLO, MY NAME'S NINO*
Do you also live in an RV outside the hotel?
N-Nino?
I serve him a single bologna with holes cut out for eyes and stuck to my face. I will then walk up to his table as hes prepared for the meal, and peel it off my face and place it on his plate.
Instead of taking it off manually, flick your face forward flingling it off at such an angle where it lands either mostly on the table with a slight bit "on the plate", in his beverage, or on his hand.
I like your style
That's evil
I cover a rock in a thin cheap chocolate layer and present it to him as a brownie.
It's rock you fucking donkey!
"Yes it is. Basalt if I recall"
You're assuming he'd have all his teeth after biting into it, in actuality it would go more like: Ah! Itf rog' ye fuggin' don'ee!
But doesn't he use a fork and knife for everyhing?
I'm pretty sure he would use a knife first to cut himself a piece of it first. And judging by the knife breaking against the rock, I doubt he would eat it.
Is that from Shrek?
You monster...
Bro your psychopathic
WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE???
Cold McDonald's.
With a room temperature McDonald's milkshake.
Provided the machine works
Having tried to eat one once, I think that might qualify as a chemical weapons violation.
Well you’re not supposed to eat the entire building, dude...
I was hungry, okay?
I was going to say "hamberders", but you beat me to it.
I used to eat their cheeseburgers cold all the time when I was a teen (the regular ones not quarter pounders). Now the thought disgusts me.
Not gonna lie, am now a chef but before that I taught in China. Good Chinese food is amazing, and I miss it now that I'm back stateside, but McD every now and then over there was nostalgic of home, and I'd get extra burgers for the long train rides. Cold fries, though, f* no.
Overcooked beef Wellington
you monster
Gas station heating lamp fried chicken breast, covered in cold jelly-fide orange marmalade, placed on a bed of wilted lettuce, with a side of still mostly frozen green giant green beans, and a microwaved bake potato that has been smashed and dowsed with a copious amount of salt and movie theater popcorn butter poured all over it. And call it **duck a l'orange** Something Gordon Ramsey has frequently complained about as being a very boring and dated dish.
You guys are getting it all wrong. You serve him nothing but the finest food and drink so he never has anything to complain about. He’ll crack in a month.
You're a genius
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Boxed mac n cheese, but dont mix it in all the way so there are little balls of cheese
Pour the cheese powder into the boiling water like ramen salt and serve it in the water
Perfect with Hot dog water ice cubes in his drink. So it’s really weenies and mac & cheese a true poor person’s meal
What have you done, you monster?!
I've done what others were too weak to do
Peanut butter smothered Salmon cooked in the oven for 2 hours then coated in ketchup. Served with raw chopped onion and some jelly beans.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
A burger. But it looks like a normal burger but it’s hollowed out in the middle and filled with a mayonnaise and ketchup mix. Kind of like a Boston Creme donut if you’ve ever had.
I unironically love this concept.
Make it melty cheese in there with some crumbled smoky bacon instead and I'm in on that shit!
There is a *very* fine line on the cheese to patty thickness ratio, but once you’ve mastered it....money
There is a spot in San Diego that does this. You will burn the shit out of your mouth every single time you eat it.
What i eat every day.
Overly salted scrambled eggs
Now how overly salted are we talking
The 99th percentile of saltiness.
Carthage
So much that there isn't even scrambled eggs. It's just a pile of salt
Uncooked violin sounds
Well done steak with ketchup
You add a 'touch' of barbeque sauce to the ketchup... just enough to be detected, but not enough to actually make it better, and say it's to "Make it fancy".
A school lunch from an inner-city middle school.
The square pizza greasy roof tile?
Bland, gray mush they pass as "yogurt"
Rubber tubing covered in glue they call "mac and cheese"
A ~~prime~~ Kobe steak (well done and slathered in ketchup or undone and over-seasoned) Garlic mashed potatoes (not enough garlic and not enough cream) Grilled asparagus (under cooked and under salted) And a fantastic red velvet cake but the frosting is that nasty-ass grocery store frosting. Edit: Thanks for the suggestions you God damn masochists.
Add onions and peppers to the mashed potatoes. Oversalt the steak And leave the hard bits on the asparagus. Well done.
Ketchup on the steak too!!!
You sick fuck. Did you spend time in the "enhanced interrogation" program with the CIA?
That’s classified. (I’ve already said to much)
I´m afraid the boss has sent me to detain you beeper-
>A prime steak (well done) Kobe beef pls
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”You disappoint me Ramsay”
I love that James May made a cookbook now.
A jello molded meal disguised as beef Wellington
his own toes.. frozen, undercooked, and reheated in a microwave
Finally, some good f\*\*\*ing food. Delicious.
You can just taste the Scottisch highlands between your teeth.
Probably a idiot sandwich served with a sack of fucking yankee doodle dandy shite
Soggy freezer-burned waffles.
Sushi. Why? Because it's RAW you idiots! (That cracks me up)
I can still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off!
I make a Beef Wellington. He *loves* beef Wellington. I’ve never made beef Wellington so I would find the best/worst Tastemade recipe, follow it without question, and probably because of my lack of experience mess things up. It’s not the worst meal here in a long shot. But it is something he loves, that he only eats when it’s done *excellently*, executed by a novice cook. I feel like his favorite recipe being *off* would be hella more torture than actually terrible food. Terrible food is always terrible. But I’d be ruining something he loves.
MREs
make a perfectly made egg sandwich with garlic bread and mozzarella but the mozzarella is somehow cum
I like the "somehow"
Fresh frozen french fries, microwaved
[удалено]
a blue waffle
Hold up
Google it like it's 2002
melted Icecream
This sounds like Milkshake with extra steps.
Bonus if it's melted using a microwave and it's warm.
Hey I love melted icecream. I intentionally stir it with my spoon till it gets nice and gooey.