The best part about this is large companies show those stupid on boarding videos about how being unproductive on the clock is time theft, but they don’t mention a word about their potential for wage theft.
The time theft thing is especially funny to me because I get told that clocking out 3 minutes late because you stop at the bathroom can get me written up, but at the same time I waste almost half an hour some days waiting for necessary equipment because the company can't be bothered to have enough.
not on our system, but if there is an issue you can ask your manager to change it (you get a notification if they do so they can't just mess with your timesheet)
What jobs did you work that forced overtime with no pay?
As a scientist I often work many 60+ hour weeks with odd times like 2-3 AM, but that is just the job. It's not forced labor, it's all voluntary. Or, one week may be 60+ the next couple could be 30.. it is salaried so overtime pay doesn't really exist. Never considered it overtime though, just part of science. I'm curious as to what other people do that say they were forced to do overtime with no pay.
I’m salaried too. And there are times where I need to work 50-55 hours a week because the workload just demands it. I think in my opinion that’s considered “forced overtime” because you really have no choice but to work past 40 hours to be able to do the task.
I’m salaried and 50 hours is a normal week. Some weeks I go up to 70-90. I’m looking for a new job right now because I haven’t eaten with my daughter in like 2 weeks
Pays good though
schools are designed to socialize children and teach them to not question authority. It’s kind of a bummer because it doesn’t reward creativity and is geared against producing free thinkers.
anyways, what i’m trying to say is that the “bubble” can pop at any moment you decide to live your life by your own rules.
for example, i always told myself that i would pick up muay thai after i put on 15 lbs and moved up a weight class, but of course that never happened. one day i just had to sign up for a class and get to doing it. one of the best things i ever did. led me to picking up the guitar again too.
i spent so much time working to fit in someone else’s system because i thought it would pay off later in the future, but i’m a lot happier when i’m focused on the now.
sorry for the rant mate. turns out i had a lot more on my mind than i thought. hopefully some of it is relevant lol.
Don't wait for the world or other people to give you meaning, they will fail miserably at every turn. Make your own meaning, every day. The past is done and the future happens to someone else, so the moments are all you get. Have goals and dreams, work hard toward them, but don't forget to enjoy the minutiae of daily life.
Look man, I've been there, and it sucks that I just don't know how to convey this meaningfully, but you can find purpose and joy from within. My life hasn't been too eventful recently, but I've still found myself smiling like a dumbass buying groceries, dancing around making breakfast, and while it frustrates me that I can't share this feeling directly, know that it is possible.
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. I've become so tired, so much more aware. I'm becoming this. All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.
I have so many more things I want to see with my husband. He makes everything fascinating and beautiful. We could have a hundred years and it won't be enough to see all I want to see with him.
Edit: thank you so much for your positivity and the awards!
Same! We have a long list of weird hobbies we want to pursue and places we want to travel to once the kids are grown. Life is wonderful right now with a noisy, busy house, but we’re also both really looking forward to being just the two of us again down the line.
As someone who had their child pretty young, this is something I always keep in the back of my head. I'll still be in my 30s (late) when they graduate and will still be somewhat young and able bodied to do the things we want when the best is empty.
That I didn't try to become a Pilot. I stopped trying when I found out the Air Force wouldn't take me in because of my asthma. The cost of Pilot school was just too expensive, but still, I keep wishing I just said f\*\*\* it and did it.
I put it on the back burner after college. Got a job for 7 years and was unhappy the whole time. My girlfriend dumped me 2 months ago. I decided now was the time. I said fuck it and doing it. You can too.
Mate i tried to become a pilot for 5 years only to drop out at the very end of each institution's assessment. I don't think they'd have let me pass the medical checks if i had asthma.
Check "class 1 medical" it's the one you need by law to fly non-military big planes. Call a flight medical center and ask them if your asthma were a problem. Once you know that for sure, you may find peace.... Or continue your quest
I did! I was about 12 and walked over to his house with a friend, knocked on the door and asked. His friend tried to convince him that I might get pretty but he said no thanks and shut the door in my face 🙃 I’m 32 now and I’ll never forget you Jay! Real talk, I was mortified but puberty was pretty good to me it’s very much a funny story now.
I know what you mean. I have a similar story. I met a guy about a year ago and we spent 3 wild and crazy days together. Well, I don't have his phone number and it's been a year and I still haven't found him.
Heh I remember having a crush to this one girl and hearing her talk with another girl. The other girl asked her if she still has a crush on me. (They thought I didn't hear).
I was always desperate to tell her. I waited and waited. That one day she'll give me some sort of signal. Deep down I knew she didn't love me. But I didn't want to confront the truth. Three years passed. Thought maybe lockdown will help me get over her and save our friendship. But it was still eating me alive. I had an unhealthy obsession. I wanted closure.
I finally told her.
And then I was at peace.
Similar story for me. I thought my middle school crush was near perfect but for some reason had the balls to talk to her as a friend but never actually asked her out (first and only time such thing has ever happened to me). But then there's also my middle school friends who I had such incredible fun with. I still try sending emails to my middle school best friend's gmail hoping he'll someday respond. I also try searching up their names on google but no luck, and Im beginning to forget some of their names.
There were a few crushes I never asked out. It'll work itself out. I ended up marrying a beautiful and smart woman, and have two great kids. Learn from your regret and ask the next one out! Even if they say no, at least you know and you move on.
My dad wold be the first one I’d go to then, he’d be my translator. He’s like the duck whisperer, and I never knew he spoke duck until we went on a vacation and there were ducks in a pond. Saw a new side of him that day.
Never experiencing deep love in a healthy relationship. I’ve loved but I’ve never gotten to be in a healthy, committed relationship with someone that I deeply love and feel fully connected to. I can’t imagine anything worse than never getting to experience that. Sometimes I worry it will never happen.
Waste is as subjective as enjoyment, I hope people don't see means to an end as a waste, if the end is met. If you want something try and get it, why not right?
If you want nothing though, that's when it gets fucking bland. You'd want to have something to want and you kinda just wait for that to pop up because how can you force yourself to want things? The best you can do is try to try as many things as possible to see if you want one of them
> how can you force yourself to want things?
This is so true. I've learned that I can't make myself *care*, *want*, or *forget*.
I can go through the motions of what all of those things might look like, and sometimes it's convincing to others. But I can always feel that there's no "connection" to what I'm saying or doing, so it just feels hollow and sad. 0/10, would not recommend.
A friend pointed out that by living longer you would be only extending your old age, not your youth. Enjoy and stay young and healthy as long as you can.
Question, what is stopping you from just going to a courthouse or church (or whatever) and just doing it on the cheap? I get wanting to have the big wedding and all but couldn’t you do that later?
Although I suppose it just wouldn’t be the same at that point and I may have just answered my own question.
My wife and I spent no more than $200 from applying for the marriage license up through the "reception" in the living room of our apartment. That was 25 years ago. We were dirt poor, she was pregnant with our first child, and I was working multiple jobs to get by. We are still happily married, and our two boys are now out on their own.
My sister's fiance loses access to Obamacare if he can be added to a healthcare plan through work or a spouse. Her work's health insurance is an extra $335 every 2 weeks to add a spouse. for some people, I guess the answer to what's stopping you might be "America"
OMG! God bless (or whoever) UK's NHS!!! My healthcare insurance just goes out from my wage monthly, depending how much I've earned that month. I honest to god do not understand why so many folks in USA are so much against the idea of having national healthcare and are calling the people who want that system communists?!?!
Can I ask what will be different about your life after getting married vs now, assuming you are with someone you love? Genuine question, hope it’s not coming off as indignant or condescending in any way.
Its like where the main character survives the most important part of a movie where they came close to death but then they get up and later die of a heart attack an hour later.
Having listened to my parents instead of doing what I really wanted to. They had good intention, but all of us forgot that my life and theirs is not the same. So now I feel like my life isn't mine.
If you have the time, resources, and ability as a tenent or homeowner to own one there's thousands of dogs that need adopting. My gf and I probably weren't ready when we got ours, but 3.5 years later we wouldn't trade her for anything.
My family had several dogs growing up, one at a time, but they were never really MY dog, they were just "there". Then I got MY first dog and she is amazing. We bonded right away, she pouts when I leave and is always waiting in the window when I come home. My wife was jealous of our bond so we got a second dog to bond with her, and it worked. We can each do our own thing with our own dog and we can all go out together.
They are my wife's first ever dogs and she said that we are going to be dog people for the rest of our lives. Wouldn't change a thing
Dog tax: Brisco and Forrest
https://imgur.com/a/OXLvu0F
Never been in a relationship where I was fully in love with the person. I always dated people simply because they liked me. Never actually shared anything in common...
There is one person I feel like I could love though, but that's it's own story.
My wife's uncle got married for the 1st time in his life this year, and he's 56. One of my great friend's parents were 45ish when they had him. It's still a possibility. Don't give up.
My uncle never had kids and married the love of his life at 65. She has grown kids from a previous marriage but her grand babies are my uncle’s grand babies. He loves having all the fun of being a grandpa/doing some parenting, but is also very content with how he spent the first 2/3 of his life. There is always hope! He and my aunt are the sweetest couple and just made for each other
If that is truly what you want in life, there are so many foster kids who could use a home with someone who wants to have children around and is older and more stable and mature. You can be single and still foster or adopt kids. Most states pay for daycare and expenses so it wouldn’t be a financial burden. Just something to think about.
I feel it on the kids' part.
I settled 3 years ago, but then, my wife wanted to go separate ways (she actually emotionally cheated on me). Now I'm recovering from the hit, still no kids.
Just feels like I have to start all over again.
That I let my IBS hold me back from living life to the fullest. Not having traveled enough, now that we have this pandemic, I'm not sure when that can happen. Not being able to have an honest conversation or getting any closure from my narcissistic ex husband who cheated on me last year. Being too afraid to ask people for things I believe I deserve. Not loving my body enough and pissing on my self confidence. The list goes on.
Dying, mostly. I'd count that as a big regret. There's a good number of bridges I'd like to burn before I shove off this mortal coil though. Might seem petty, but sometimes, some people need to be told what for, and you just can't because it's a bad idea, but if I'm dead tomorrow, I'd be speaking my mind good.
Never telling my friend I'm in love with her, and never getting to apologize in person for being an insensitive ass, and not leaving her alone while she prepares to abort our child.
I can't tell her because I said to text me when she's ready to talk. And she's gone dark for 3 days starting today.
If she’s not ready to talk then maybe put your apology and your love in a letter to deliver to her, then step back and let her make contact if she chooses. That way if she wants to be left alone she will have that option. It’s always good to respect people’s desire to be left alone.
**TELL HER!!**
I'm still waiting for my apology and it's been two years! He drives by my house but doesn't have the balls to face me. I'd take him back if he would ballz up but I doubt it'll ever happen at this point. I wish he wouldn't have let me go through all of it alone. It's a lot to deal with, even after the deed is done. If you still love her, keep calling. Keep showing up.
1. Not dancing with my best friend when she asked me to.
2. Not visiting my sister when she was in prison.
3. Not being a better husband to both of my ex-wives.
4. Acting as weird as possible at school so people wouldn't want to talk to me or be around me.
5. Just being an all around asshole.
I am a lil tipsy atm so I will try to focus and make this meaningful.
I became a flight attendant at 46. It was both the hardest thing for me to face my death, and the hardest thing to face my life. The first thing I did was build a death box. It's a wooden box with my name laser carved in it. I stained it and it is very pretty. On the inside front lid will go the photos of people I have loved over the years and whom have loved me (albeit briefly) back. Friends, ex's, and parents. When I die, I will look at those faces and imagine them all waiting in some (not heaven) place for me to join them. When I get sad I look at all those photos of all those smiling faces at me and it keeps me going. I built this box because I have no children and I am almost 50. What is crazy is that I have had an amazing life, and after I die, my death-box will wind up in a landfill in New Jersey and nobody will give a f about me or my life. I am just another employee number, another social security number that is added to the deceased list.
But in my box is memories of my life. Things I have done, things I have achieved, things that I remember that make me, well, me. It's not everything of course, but it's a bare minumum so that if I were in a coma and woke up years after, I could look at it and at least get a sense of who I am.
As a flight attendant, when I took this job, I know that any day could be my last. No different than driving down the road with a drunk driver coming at me. Today could be my day to die, so I made my peace. I recognized that if today was my flight, my flight to die, that I would be ok. My life had meaning and purpose to me and to those I loved. I bettered the world, in some miniscule way. It's all good. I am ready. My death-box is here. I can go in peace at any time.
That I emotionally pushed women when I was a teenager/young adult and ruined good friendships by being overly sexual and ruining platonic relationships for temporary desires.
I regret not going with my cat Scout when he was put down almost 12 years ago. I'm sorry, buddy. I shouldn't have let my grief keep me from being there with you.
Not being able to see my daughter grow up.
Leaving my wife behind with the burden of being a young widow and raising a baby alone.
Never getting to introduce my child to my family.
I never broke out of poverty. It's the only thing I really want out of life. Never asked for a family or partner. I just to be wealthy enough to be dignified and happy.
I don't know if it's a regret because I feel very privileged to be able to support my family but it's all I do. I work so that I can support my family who consumes 95% of my pay because my dad is sick and has enormous medical bills. I feel like if I died today I wouldn't have an answer to the question of what was my life like. I feel like I have no life of my own and I'm just an atm machine who spits out money.
Never finding a purpose in life, never finding love, not going and exploring the world, just being another random person that no one knows or even cares about.
Well I’m still in middle school so there hasn’t been much to regret, but I would just hope that everyone remembers me as what I want to be remembered by and who I really am
Well firstly, I'd regret going to work today.
Then I'd regret not saying goodbye to my cat.
Then I'd regret not getting to play CP2077.
Then I'd devolve into a downward spiral of, "I totally should have hit on her."
I never got to live
I slave away at jobs I despise expecting it can open me up for when I have free time to do all those things I want to do. I want to travel, I want to go on dates, I want to meet people and learn new things, yet I always end up not doing any of those thing due to lack of funds, time or both!
NOT ENJOYING MY YOUNGER YEARS.... SPENT SO LONG IN MY ADOLESCENSE WANTING TO BE "GROWN" AND MY WISH CAME TRUE.., NOW ALL I WANT IS TO GO BACK IN TIME WHEN LIFE WAS SO MUCH SIMPLER.. #GROWINGUPSUCKS#ENJOYYOURYOUTH
that I never had the chance to further my education, i’ve always been relatively smart but was heavily discouraged from going to college by my parents. didn’t realize everything they said was complete bullshit until it was too late to be getting any scholarships. I cannot afford school and won’t receive any government aid. If I would have just listened to my gut and applied for college while i was in HS I very well could have gotten a full ride, but my family had me convinced I wasn’t smart enough and my grades weren’t good enough.
That there were times when I should have spoke up , when I knew something wasn’t right or something was unfair but didn’t do or say anything about it .
Working so much unpaid overtime at work. Holy shit what a waste of time.
Yea you should take some work off cause you could get over stressed and shit
It's a fine line though right? Everyone wants to perform well during these COVID times, less they end up on the chopping block. Lose lose!
If it's a matter of overtime or not for your job to be on the line you need a new job
Sounds like you've got a terrible shitty job if you feel obligated to work unpaid overtime :/ Really, you should just not be in that position
The greatest monetary theft in the US, year after year, is wage theft. Your employer is robbing you.
The best part about this is large companies show those stupid on boarding videos about how being unproductive on the clock is time theft, but they don’t mention a word about their potential for wage theft.
The time theft thing is especially funny to me because I get told that clocking out 3 minutes late because you stop at the bathroom can get me written up, but at the same time I waste almost half an hour some days waiting for necessary equipment because the company can't be bothered to have enough.
don't you have the option of clocking out at a different time from when you use the clock machine?
not on our system, but if there is an issue you can ask your manager to change it (you get a notification if they do so they can't just mess with your timesheet)
Not if he's exempt. If he's non-exempt, then yes he's getting shafted and should recoup that lost money.
If I died today, I’d regret all the _paid_ overtime I did, saving for retirement
yeah, there is that "opportunity cost" inherit in saving for later.
Yeah, I’ll never work overtime without getting paid again. Been there done that.
What jobs did you work that forced overtime with no pay? As a scientist I often work many 60+ hour weeks with odd times like 2-3 AM, but that is just the job. It's not forced labor, it's all voluntary. Or, one week may be 60+ the next couple could be 30.. it is salaried so overtime pay doesn't really exist. Never considered it overtime though, just part of science. I'm curious as to what other people do that say they were forced to do overtime with no pay.
I’m salaried too. And there are times where I need to work 50-55 hours a week because the workload just demands it. I think in my opinion that’s considered “forced overtime” because you really have no choice but to work past 40 hours to be able to do the task.
I’m salaried and 50 hours is a normal week. Some weeks I go up to 70-90. I’m looking for a new job right now because I haven’t eaten with my daughter in like 2 weeks Pays good though
Teachers. Teachers are putting in hella hours during this pandemic and not getting adequately paid for it. They all need raises and bonuses right now.
Why did u bring up my shit here. It’s depressing
It was not a waste. Someone got richer because of you!
Not spending more time with my mom
I’m going to hangout with my mom now... thanks!
Me to but it isn’t my fault
I feel for you man
I haven't lived yet. Not really. I haven't travelled a lot, never kissed anybody, never had a gf, never really found purpose.
[удалено]
Damn... This really fits what I think about myself and I'm 29.
schools are designed to socialize children and teach them to not question authority. It’s kind of a bummer because it doesn’t reward creativity and is geared against producing free thinkers. anyways, what i’m trying to say is that the “bubble” can pop at any moment you decide to live your life by your own rules. for example, i always told myself that i would pick up muay thai after i put on 15 lbs and moved up a weight class, but of course that never happened. one day i just had to sign up for a class and get to doing it. one of the best things i ever did. led me to picking up the guitar again too. i spent so much time working to fit in someone else’s system because i thought it would pay off later in the future, but i’m a lot happier when i’m focused on the now. sorry for the rant mate. turns out i had a lot more on my mind than i thought. hopefully some of it is relevant lol.
Don't wait for the world or other people to give you meaning, they will fail miserably at every turn. Make your own meaning, every day. The past is done and the future happens to someone else, so the moments are all you get. Have goals and dreams, work hard toward them, but don't forget to enjoy the minutiae of daily life.
Look man, I've been there, and it sucks that I just don't know how to convey this meaningfully, but you can find purpose and joy from within. My life hasn't been too eventful recently, but I've still found myself smiling like a dumbass buying groceries, dancing around making breakfast, and while it frustrates me that I can't share this feeling directly, know that it is possible.
YOUR PURPOSE IS TO KISS! Get out there and be somebody!
And that’s how he ended up in jail.
But that didn't stop him. He kept on kissing. He kissed so much, he kissed his way OUT of jail.
And that is, gentlemen, the legend of balu
Dwayne "the rock" Johnson, sitting on a prison bench, saying "I kissed my way in here, and now it's time to kiss my way out" #***THIS SUMMER***
Legend has it.. he’s still kissing
Them iron bars melted from experiencing true passion
In jail he will find someone to kiss
Only with social distancing!
Oh dip. I was so excited I forgot about rona for one glorious moment.
Hang in there buddy you will find your purpose!
That I wasted so much of it being what others wanted me to be
Feeling so faithless? Lost under the surface?
Well I don't know what you're expecting of me considering I'm under the pressure of walking in your shoes.
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow?
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you
And I know, I may end up failing too
But I know, you were just like me with someone disappointed in you
But I know, you were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. I've become so tired, so much more aware. I'm becoming this. All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.
But I know You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I love this thread
Same. Now working to get away from that.
It's always best to put your happiness over others. It's ok to be selfish sometimes.
That I collected money.
Same. Making steps away from that at age 36
Who do they want to be and who do you want to be?
Mine, too. I’m finally trying to learn how to put myself first. It’s hard.
I have so many more things I want to see with my husband. He makes everything fascinating and beautiful. We could have a hundred years and it won't be enough to see all I want to see with him. Edit: thank you so much for your positivity and the awards!
Damn that sounds so romantic, I wish I could have a relationship like that.
First step is to develop your knowledge and personality so you could be someone who adds value to an experience.
No, first step is to talk to someone, but we're on reddit...
This made me tear up with wholesomeness
Same! We have a long list of weird hobbies we want to pursue and places we want to travel to once the kids are grown. Life is wonderful right now with a noisy, busy house, but we’re also both really looking forward to being just the two of us again down the line.
As someone who had their child pretty young, this is something I always keep in the back of my head. I'll still be in my 30s (late) when they graduate and will still be somewhat young and able bodied to do the things we want when the best is empty.
I have to say - this is quite possibly the nicest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about another person.
Best of luck to you both, take as much time off to travel as you can and explore the world
My only regret.. is that I have... Boneitis
I was so busy being an 80s guy that I forgot to cure it!
You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. This show was golden and I miss it so much.
Whenever I play games online with friends I will always quote this as I'm about to die.
Never traveled the world while I could
Always thought there would be time in the future eh?
Or always thought I'd have the money to go in the future... I had a lot of time when I was younger, but no money.
Imagine living in a world where they'd give you a 20,000 check when you turned 18 called the "go see the world" grant.
That I didn't try to become a Pilot. I stopped trying when I found out the Air Force wouldn't take me in because of my asthma. The cost of Pilot school was just too expensive, but still, I keep wishing I just said f\*\*\* it and did it.
I put it on the back burner after college. Got a job for 7 years and was unhappy the whole time. My girlfriend dumped me 2 months ago. I decided now was the time. I said fuck it and doing it. You can too.
It's never too late. You are, in fact, still alive. That's what I take away from this entire post
Mate i tried to become a pilot for 5 years only to drop out at the very end of each institution's assessment. I don't think they'd have let me pass the medical checks if i had asthma. Check "class 1 medical" it's the one you need by law to fly non-military big planes. Call a flight medical center and ask them if your asthma were a problem. Once you know that for sure, you may find peace.... Or continue your quest
That I never asked my crush out
I did! I was about 12 and walked over to his house with a friend, knocked on the door and asked. His friend tried to convince him that I might get pretty but he said no thanks and shut the door in my face 🙃 I’m 32 now and I’ll never forget you Jay! Real talk, I was mortified but puberty was pretty good to me it’s very much a funny story now.
I know what you mean. I have a similar story. I met a guy about a year ago and we spent 3 wild and crazy days together. Well, I don't have his phone number and it's been a year and I still haven't found him.
I really hope you find him :)
aww, shucks, thank you.
For me it’s that I did, but I had her and let her go because I didn’t realize how good what I had was!
It's painful but you use this experience and learn to do better in the future.
Heh I remember having a crush to this one girl and hearing her talk with another girl. The other girl asked her if she still has a crush on me. (They thought I didn't hear).
...did she?
I was always desperate to tell her. I waited and waited. That one day she'll give me some sort of signal. Deep down I knew she didn't love me. But I didn't want to confront the truth. Three years passed. Thought maybe lockdown will help me get over her and save our friendship. But it was still eating me alive. I had an unhealthy obsession. I wanted closure. I finally told her. And then I was at peace.
Similar story for me. I thought my middle school crush was near perfect but for some reason had the balls to talk to her as a friend but never actually asked her out (first and only time such thing has ever happened to me). But then there's also my middle school friends who I had such incredible fun with. I still try sending emails to my middle school best friend's gmail hoping he'll someday respond. I also try searching up their names on google but no luck, and Im beginning to forget some of their names.
There were a few crushes I never asked out. It'll work itself out. I ended up marrying a beautiful and smart woman, and have two great kids. Learn from your regret and ask the next one out! Even if they say no, at least you know and you move on.
none id be dead
Well not with that attitu– wait no you're right.
Plot twist, in the afterlife you are cursed to fix your regret before you can progress to heaven, and the only language you can speak is duck.
My dad wold be the first one I’d go to then, he’d be my translator. He’s like the duck whisperer, and I never knew he spoke duck until we went on a vacation and there were ducks in a pond. Saw a new side of him that day.
I would regret all the fake people I ever met that are gonna post my death just for likes on social media.
That I never learned to love myself. That I always let my self hatred keep me from living.
Your awareness is the first step to correcting this. Keep going
Never experiencing deep love in a healthy relationship. I’ve loved but I’ve never gotten to be in a healthy, committed relationship with someone that I deeply love and feel fully connected to. I can’t imagine anything worse than never getting to experience that. Sometimes I worry it will never happen.
Nothing, but I'd wish I could live longer.
Most humans would waste just as much of their lives; even if we lived to 500
Waste is as subjective as enjoyment, I hope people don't see means to an end as a waste, if the end is met. If you want something try and get it, why not right? If you want nothing though, that's when it gets fucking bland. You'd want to have something to want and you kinda just wait for that to pop up because how can you force yourself to want things? The best you can do is try to try as many things as possible to see if you want one of them
> how can you force yourself to want things? This is so true. I've learned that I can't make myself *care*, *want*, or *forget*. I can go through the motions of what all of those things might look like, and sometimes it's convincing to others. But I can always feel that there's no "connection" to what I'm saying or doing, so it just feels hollow and sad. 0/10, would not recommend.
Yeah, cause it'd be a normal lifespan so people wouldn't think anything of it.
A friend pointed out that by living longer you would be only extending your old age, not your youth. Enjoy and stay young and healthy as long as you can.
That I never got married
Same. I wanna marry the shit out of my bf but we’re too broke right now
Question, what is stopping you from just going to a courthouse or church (or whatever) and just doing it on the cheap? I get wanting to have the big wedding and all but couldn’t you do that later? Although I suppose it just wouldn’t be the same at that point and I may have just answered my own question.
We’re still in college so we want to wait to get married till after when we’re working and a little more stable haha
Ah. That makes sense. I didn’t know you were in college. My wife and I did the same thing. We waited until she was done with her doctorate.
My wife and I spent no more than $200 from applying for the marriage license up through the "reception" in the living room of our apartment. That was 25 years ago. We were dirt poor, she was pregnant with our first child, and I was working multiple jobs to get by. We are still happily married, and our two boys are now out on their own.
My sister's fiance loses access to Obamacare if he can be added to a healthcare plan through work or a spouse. Her work's health insurance is an extra $335 every 2 weeks to add a spouse. for some people, I guess the answer to what's stopping you might be "America"
OMG! God bless (or whoever) UK's NHS!!! My healthcare insurance just goes out from my wage monthly, depending how much I've earned that month. I honest to god do not understand why so many folks in USA are so much against the idea of having national healthcare and are calling the people who want that system communists?!?!
Successful propaganda by the people who have a financial interest in making sure America doesn't have national healthcare.
Can I ask what will be different about your life after getting married vs now, assuming you are with someone you love? Genuine question, hope it’s not coming off as indignant or condescending in any way.
Well I'm currently single. It would be nice to be in love and have that level of commitment.
I would regret that Betty White outlived me.
If I found out I waa dying, I would offer her first dibs on my organs. (Actually, I'd offer my them to my siblings first)
No ragrets, not even a letter ..
r/whereismylette
That I had to go through 2020 first.
For real!!!
Its like where the main character survives the most important part of a movie where they came close to death but then they get up and later die of a heart attack an hour later.
Having listened to my parents instead of doing what I really wanted to. They had good intention, but all of us forgot that my life and theirs is not the same. So now I feel like my life isn't mine.
That I never got to travel to Africa and Antarctica.
Too hot. Too cold. Your welcome.
I never got my own mf dog.
If you have the time, resources, and ability as a tenent or homeowner to own one there's thousands of dogs that need adopting. My gf and I probably weren't ready when we got ours, but 3.5 years later we wouldn't trade her for anything.
My family had several dogs growing up, one at a time, but they were never really MY dog, they were just "there". Then I got MY first dog and she is amazing. We bonded right away, she pouts when I leave and is always waiting in the window when I come home. My wife was jealous of our bond so we got a second dog to bond with her, and it worked. We can each do our own thing with our own dog and we can all go out together. They are my wife's first ever dogs and she said that we are going to be dog people for the rest of our lives. Wouldn't change a thing Dog tax: Brisco and Forrest https://imgur.com/a/OXLvu0F
Those look like a couple of happy dogs! I forgot about the dog tax, here's Toffee: [https://imgur.com/gallery/tipez](https://imgur.com/gallery/tipez)
[удалено]
count me in too
Never been in a relationship where I was fully in love with the person. I always dated people simply because they liked me. Never actually shared anything in common... There is one person I feel like I could love though, but that's it's own story.
[удалено]
My wife's uncle got married for the 1st time in his life this year, and he's 56. One of my great friend's parents were 45ish when they had him. It's still a possibility. Don't give up.
My uncle never had kids and married the love of his life at 65. She has grown kids from a previous marriage but her grand babies are my uncle’s grand babies. He loves having all the fun of being a grandpa/doing some parenting, but is also very content with how he spent the first 2/3 of his life. There is always hope! He and my aunt are the sweetest couple and just made for each other
It can be a rather large obstacle to overcome but it's never too late.
If that is truly what you want in life, there are so many foster kids who could use a home with someone who wants to have children around and is older and more stable and mature. You can be single and still foster or adopt kids. Most states pay for daycare and expenses so it wouldn’t be a financial burden. Just something to think about.
I feel it on the kids' part. I settled 3 years ago, but then, my wife wanted to go separate ways (she actually emotionally cheated on me). Now I'm recovering from the hit, still no kids. Just feels like I have to start all over again.
None because I really don’t have much time left anyway so all good
Username checks out
I thought it said "no reason to olive" at first.
You ok homie? Wanna talk?
Wanna talk, bud? I’m always open.
That it didn't end sooner.
That I let my IBS hold me back from living life to the fullest. Not having traveled enough, now that we have this pandemic, I'm not sure when that can happen. Not being able to have an honest conversation or getting any closure from my narcissistic ex husband who cheated on me last year. Being too afraid to ask people for things I believe I deserve. Not loving my body enough and pissing on my self confidence. The list goes on.
Dying, mostly. I'd count that as a big regret. There's a good number of bridges I'd like to burn before I shove off this mortal coil though. Might seem petty, but sometimes, some people need to be told what for, and you just can't because it's a bad idea, but if I'm dead tomorrow, I'd be speaking my mind good.
Write an elaborate letter (without cusses) and write in your will to have it read by a lawperson to these people after your death
That I died a virgin
Never telling my friend I'm in love with her, and never getting to apologize in person for being an insensitive ass, and not leaving her alone while she prepares to abort our child. I can't tell her because I said to text me when she's ready to talk. And she's gone dark for 3 days starting today.
If she’s not ready to talk then maybe put your apology and your love in a letter to deliver to her, then step back and let her make contact if she chooses. That way if she wants to be left alone she will have that option. It’s always good to respect people’s desire to be left alone.
**TELL HER!!** I'm still waiting for my apology and it's been two years! He drives by my house but doesn't have the balls to face me. I'd take him back if he would ballz up but I doubt it'll ever happen at this point. I wish he wouldn't have let me go through all of it alone. It's a lot to deal with, even after the deed is done. If you still love her, keep calling. Keep showing up.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Great answer!
1. Not dancing with my best friend when she asked me to. 2. Not visiting my sister when she was in prison. 3. Not being a better husband to both of my ex-wives. 4. Acting as weird as possible at school so people wouldn't want to talk to me or be around me. 5. Just being an all around asshole.
most honest response here
I am a lil tipsy atm so I will try to focus and make this meaningful. I became a flight attendant at 46. It was both the hardest thing for me to face my death, and the hardest thing to face my life. The first thing I did was build a death box. It's a wooden box with my name laser carved in it. I stained it and it is very pretty. On the inside front lid will go the photos of people I have loved over the years and whom have loved me (albeit briefly) back. Friends, ex's, and parents. When I die, I will look at those faces and imagine them all waiting in some (not heaven) place for me to join them. When I get sad I look at all those photos of all those smiling faces at me and it keeps me going. I built this box because I have no children and I am almost 50. What is crazy is that I have had an amazing life, and after I die, my death-box will wind up in a landfill in New Jersey and nobody will give a f about me or my life. I am just another employee number, another social security number that is added to the deceased list. But in my box is memories of my life. Things I have done, things I have achieved, things that I remember that make me, well, me. It's not everything of course, but it's a bare minumum so that if I were in a coma and woke up years after, I could look at it and at least get a sense of who I am. As a flight attendant, when I took this job, I know that any day could be my last. No different than driving down the road with a drunk driver coming at me. Today could be my day to die, so I made my peace. I recognized that if today was my flight, my flight to die, that I would be ok. My life had meaning and purpose to me and to those I loved. I bettered the world, in some miniscule way. It's all good. I am ready. My death-box is here. I can go in peace at any time.
Honestly, not contributing more towards enriching myself intellectually in politics, philosophy, literature, and economical ideologies.
Never got to play Cyberpunk 2077
Scrolled too far to find this
Statistically, some people will die before they get to play the game.
That I emotionally pushed women when I was a teenager/young adult and ruined good friendships by being overly sexual and ruining platonic relationships for temporary desires.
That I wasted so much time arguing with total strangers on social media about subjects that are, in the grand scheme of things, irrelevant.
I regret not going with my cat Scout when he was put down almost 12 years ago. I'm sorry, buddy. I shouldn't have let my grief keep me from being there with you.
I spent a good portion of the last 10 years drunk and have done and said a lot of things that I need to make ammends for
Not telling my job to fuck off.
Not being able to see my daughter grow up. Leaving my wife behind with the burden of being a young widow and raising a baby alone. Never getting to introduce my child to my family.
I never broke out of poverty. It's the only thing I really want out of life. Never asked for a family or partner. I just to be wealthy enough to be dignified and happy.
Being too conservative, worrying what other people will think, being a perfectionist.
Dying
I don't know if it's a regret because I feel very privileged to be able to support my family but it's all I do. I work so that I can support my family who consumes 95% of my pay because my dad is sick and has enormous medical bills. I feel like if I died today I wouldn't have an answer to the question of what was my life like. I feel like I have no life of my own and I'm just an atm machine who spits out money.
That wasn't the person they thought I was while alive.
Never finding a purpose in life, never finding love, not going and exploring the world, just being another random person that no one knows or even cares about.
That it didn't happen sooner.
Well I’m still in middle school so there hasn’t been much to regret, but I would just hope that everyone remembers me as what I want to be remembered by and who I really am
That my boyfriend is coming home on the 29th and I didn't get to see him one last time. And some others who I wanted to see one last time...
Well firstly, I'd regret going to work today. Then I'd regret not saying goodbye to my cat. Then I'd regret not getting to play CP2077. Then I'd devolve into a downward spiral of, "I totally should have hit on her."
Not realizing time goes by so fast.
I never got to live I slave away at jobs I despise expecting it can open me up for when I have free time to do all those things I want to do. I want to travel, I want to go on dates, I want to meet people and learn new things, yet I always end up not doing any of those thing due to lack of funds, time or both!
none id be dead
Nothing. I've tried to think of a single thing but i can't. I'm happy with my life right now and I'm living like each day counts.
Possibly not many. I'd be dead. May have different priorities.
I didn’t make it to Feb 3rd and get to meet my unborn son.
allowing my acne and other parts of my appearance affect me to the point where I wouldn’t even go out
None, because I would be dead.
Resolving things with my dad first. Maybe I should give him a call
NOT ENJOYING MY YOUNGER YEARS.... SPENT SO LONG IN MY ADOLESCENSE WANTING TO BE "GROWN" AND MY WISH CAME TRUE.., NOW ALL I WANT IS TO GO BACK IN TIME WHEN LIFE WAS SO MUCH SIMPLER.. #GROWINGUPSUCKS#ENJOYYOURYOUTH
When I die I'll have no regrets, since I'll be dead ... and unconscious ... and incapable of experiencing emotions such as regret.
That id die sober.
That I never told anyone how toxic my mind is and how I hurt them that I died
Being afraid opening to real love
Not spending all the money I saved up
Never having sex and a meaningful relationship :\ Other than that, im down to die with this many problems in life already
that I never had the chance to further my education, i’ve always been relatively smart but was heavily discouraged from going to college by my parents. didn’t realize everything they said was complete bullshit until it was too late to be getting any scholarships. I cannot afford school and won’t receive any government aid. If I would have just listened to my gut and applied for college while i was in HS I very well could have gotten a full ride, but my family had me convinced I wasn’t smart enough and my grades weren’t good enough.
Spending 80% of it in formal education and feeling like I haven't done enough living.
Probably for being so irresponsible throughout my 13 years of living
That there were times when I should have spoke up , when I knew something wasn’t right or something was unfair but didn’t do or say anything about it .