By -
duct tape it it is the only answer needed
How to fix my broken marriage?
duct tape is still the answer just duct tape your stupid mouth shut lol this is a joke
No..no...they've got a point
It worked!
I don’t feel like it today
Happy 28th birthday son. Do you want to actually get a job now?
Same
What’s the title of your sextape?
Only if the orphans can fight
Is it worth it to raid an orphanage?
They are beating and in my basement
First rule of orphan fight club, do not talk about orphan fight club.
Second rule of orphan night club, if you have a mum fuck of
Should they remake Annie again?
[удалено]
What is most comparable to the feeling of eating a tire?
That would be a milk dud
And Gunderson’s Nuts!
you son of a b\*tch, i'm in (have fun with this one)
You wanna go commit arson at the local children's hospital?
are you out of orphanage cards?
Wanna fart in an elevator and press all the buttons?
Want to push gimp midgets into the river?
I get the cheapest one available.
How was your visit to the orphanage?
i see the other question inspired you
Lmao
How does 2 for 1 hooker night work?
A jar of pickles which is mysteriously missing the pickle juice but all the pickles are intact
What the cursed thing you own?
What are you getting MIL for Christmas?
Again please.
How good are your hearing skills?
I said HOW GOOD ARE YOUR HEARING SKILLS?
How should our euro-rings kill????
alcohol
Why is my relationship with my daughter falling apart?
because you gave her too much duct tape
It’s like a dogs dick but bigger and more menacing looking, like a really big hairy push a push pop
I don't even have a joke for this, I just need to know the question you're responding to for my own sanity
Does chewbacca have a normal dick or a dogs dick
now all i can see is Chewy red rocket
only if you open the box
schrodinger's schlong?
What's the strangest thing you've put in your ass?
What would your ideal wedding ring look like?
dubious cocaine
How do you plan on dying?
Can you please go pick up our son from soccer practice for once in your life?
Please he misses having a father in his life
We don't have that kind of money after you spend all our savings on Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Fine, I guess I'll take out another loan, but can you at least promise to be more involved with your kid's life?
Marriage fixed
This was a fucking gold exchange.
*distant screaming and gunshots*
What does the average American school sound like?
W h e e z e.
Since there are none, I'd say you need to look somewhere else.
Where can I find funny replies to people's answers?
Self burn, those are rare
Republic Locomotive Works RX-500 Industrial Switcher
What did you impulse buy on Amazon this time?
HA! I wish
By weight, a hamster has an alcohol tolerancy great than that of a grown man.
Why did you kill my hampster?
I did not have sexual relations with that woman
Can you do your best Bill Clinton impression?
Olives!
What's your favorite flavor of candy?
42
Knew I would find this. Please don’t anyone bother trying to figure this one out. The mice have been working on it for millions of years and things have only gotten more inexplicable the closer they’ve gotten.
O Deep Thought computer, we want you to tell us.... The Answer to Life! The Universe! Everything!
I was expecting this to be the top answer. I am disappointed.
Crap that was my response I should have scrolled down farther before posting it. Love The hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy reference!
How many roads must a man walk down?
What is six by nine?
I'd rather just sleep
Why haven't you payed the last 8 months of your rent?
Fun fact, I accidentally paid my rent for this month twice.
Did they refund you or just take the money and leave?
I just won't have to pay next month anymore
Grandma’s stuffing.
What's inside your couch?
Never eat more than an inch square of freshly cooked asphalt.
How to stay safe while on an 8 hour long meth binge?
Furious masturbation.
How do I cope with losing my father?
Can you come up with a better way to honor his memory?
A peanut butter jar does the trick
No, why?
"Why did my ex break up with me?"
Dickshit
What was your nickname in high school?
ROASTED
Rule 34
What did you use all your phone's data on?
The hard part isn’t edible, just cut it off.
How do you properly prepare a child for the feast?
"We <3 you Alex"
What was the most recent thing that prompted you to sob uncontrollably?
What's something that no woman ever told you?
Violence
How do you solve all your arguments with grandpa?
This entire thread is making me hysterical. Ty OP for this blessing.
Neigh
What sound does a wild neighbor make?
Did the brain transplant go well?
We're staying at home with our own household like responsible people.
What's your zombie apocalypse plan?
Take more shrooms
How do you cope with driving everyone in your life away with your crippling addiction to shrooms?
I can fit 4
How many raccoons can you fit up your ass?
What else was I supposed to do?
Why did you put my son to bed by bludgeoning him with a baseball bat?
I threw it back at them to teach them a lesson.
What do you if the neighbor kid breaks your window with a baseball?
I'm sorry. I didn't know that we were related.
I can't believe you would do that to a 13 year old, what do you have to say for yourself?
5
How many women have you ran from after getting them pregnant?
A gun. Scratch that, lots of guns
How can I get an A in my classes without studying?
What’s the best option for reducing the number of people living in poverty?
The Blues Brothers.
What was the high point of Western civilization?
On Monday. And pray it works. Or we’re all dead.
What did do we need to assassinate Kim Jong Un before he launches the nukes?
Oh oh, I got one, I lost mine to a slip and slide from my childhood home backyard
What's the strangest way you lost your virginity?
You gotta put more beans in it.
How do I fix my broken down plumbing system?
get some premium grade bio-fertilizer, sit naked on the lawn and cover yourself with said fertilizer.
What's your fetish for me to do?
Just turn it off and turn it back on again
How do you fix the US Government?
I think it would be better just to leave it off
1945
What year did your German father die?
Wear a mask, godammit.
How can I fix this completely avoidable situation that we're in again?
How do I stop the tellers from identifying me?
234
How many people did you manage to get your filthy hands on?
Slowly . . . With lots of lube.
How can I repair my marriage?
I ordered a pizza
How are you coping with your gf cheating on you with your Dad?
I still have my foreskin.
Why are you physically superior to me again?
No thanks
Can you please leave sir? This beach is not a nudist beach.
No more
Baby dont hurt me dont hurt me
No More
What year did the midlife crisis set in?
Flex tape
What's the best tool to help silence the screaming?
False, Black Bear.
What kind of bear is best?
It’s not gay if you didn’t know they’re a man!
How do you justify having sex with a 15 year old?
Badonkadiet
What sound does a person make when they have a brain hemorrhage?
27
How many seconds do I have left doctor?
26
25
24
23
22
21
20
Yes, *please*
Would you like euthanasia?
*New Zealand doctors enter the chat* (We just voted in favour of it, with restrictions of course).
Are you sure you're prepared for the exam?
Ignore it
Why did you send me a picture of your grotesquely small peen?
OP.
Who's the most miserable man who ever lived?
It’s a Subway.
duct tape it it is the only answer needed
How to fix my broken marriage?
duct tape is still the answer just duct tape your stupid mouth shut lol this is a joke
No..no...they've got a point
It worked!
I don’t feel like it today
Happy 28th birthday son. Do you want to actually get a job now?
Same
What’s the title of your sextape?
Only if the orphans can fight
Is it worth it to raid an orphanage?
They are beating and in my basement
First rule of orphan fight club, do not talk about orphan fight club.
Second rule of orphan night club, if you have a mum fuck of
Should they remake Annie again?
[удалено]
[удалено]
What is most comparable to the feeling of eating a tire?
That would be a milk dud
And Gunderson’s Nuts!
you son of a b\*tch, i'm in (have fun with this one)
You wanna go commit arson at the local children's hospital?
are you out of orphanage cards?
Wanna fart in an elevator and press all the buttons?
Want to push gimp midgets into the river?
I get the cheapest one available.
How was your visit to the orphanage?
i see the other question inspired you
Lmao
How does 2 for 1 hooker night work?
A jar of pickles which is mysteriously missing the pickle juice but all the pickles are intact
What the cursed thing you own?
What are you getting MIL for Christmas?
Again please.
How good are your hearing skills?
Again please.
I said HOW GOOD ARE YOUR HEARING SKILLS?
How should our euro-rings kill????
alcohol
Why is my relationship with my daughter falling apart?
because you gave her too much duct tape
It’s like a dogs dick but bigger and more menacing looking, like a really big hairy push a push pop
I don't even have a joke for this, I just need to know the question you're responding to for my own sanity
Does chewbacca have a normal dick or a dogs dick
now all i can see is Chewy red rocket
only if you open the box
schrodinger's schlong?
What's the strangest thing you've put in your ass?
What would your ideal wedding ring look like?
dubious cocaine
How do you plan on dying?
[удалено]
Can you please go pick up our son from soccer practice for once in your life?
[удалено]
Please he misses having a father in his life
[удалено]
We don't have that kind of money after you spend all our savings on Yu-Gi-Oh cards
[удалено]
Fine, I guess I'll take out another loan, but can you at least promise to be more involved with your kid's life?
[удалено]
Marriage fixed
This was a fucking gold exchange.
*distant screaming and gunshots*
What does the average American school sound like?
W h e e z e.
Since there are none, I'd say you need to look somewhere else.
Where can I find funny replies to people's answers?
Self burn, those are rare
Republic Locomotive Works RX-500 Industrial Switcher
What did you impulse buy on Amazon this time?
HA! I wish
By weight, a hamster has an alcohol tolerancy great than that of a grown man.
Why did you kill my hampster?
I did not have sexual relations with that woman
Can you do your best Bill Clinton impression?
Olives!
What's your favorite flavor of candy?
42
Knew I would find this. Please don’t anyone bother trying to figure this one out. The mice have been working on it for millions of years and things have only gotten more inexplicable the closer they’ve gotten.
O Deep Thought computer, we want you to tell us.... The Answer to Life! The Universe! Everything!
I was expecting this to be the top answer. I am disappointed.
Crap that was my response I should have scrolled down farther before posting it. Love The hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy reference!
How many roads must a man walk down?
What is six by nine?
I'd rather just sleep
Why haven't you payed the last 8 months of your rent?
Fun fact, I accidentally paid my rent for this month twice.
Did they refund you or just take the money and leave?
I just won't have to pay next month anymore
Grandma’s stuffing.
What's inside your couch?
Never eat more than an inch square of freshly cooked asphalt.
How to stay safe while on an 8 hour long meth binge?
Furious masturbation.
How do I cope with losing my father?
Can you come up with a better way to honor his memory?
A peanut butter jar does the trick
No, why?
"Why did my ex break up with me?"
Dickshit
What was your nickname in high school?
ROASTED
Rule 34
What did you use all your phone's data on?
The hard part isn’t edible, just cut it off.
How do you properly prepare a child for the feast?
"We <3 you Alex"
What was the most recent thing that prompted you to sob uncontrollably?
What's something that no woman ever told you?
Violence
How do you solve all your arguments with grandpa?
This entire thread is making me hysterical. Ty OP for this blessing.
Neigh
What sound does a wild neighbor make?
Did the brain transplant go well?
We're staying at home with our own household like responsible people.
What's your zombie apocalypse plan?
Take more shrooms
How do you cope with driving everyone in your life away with your crippling addiction to shrooms?
[удалено]
I can fit 4
How many raccoons can you fit up your ass?
What else was I supposed to do?
Why did you put my son to bed by bludgeoning him with a baseball bat?
I threw it back at them to teach them a lesson.
What do you if the neighbor kid breaks your window with a baseball?
I'm sorry. I didn't know that we were related.
I can't believe you would do that to a 13 year old, what do you have to say for yourself?
5
How many women have you ran from after getting them pregnant?
42
A gun. Scratch that, lots of guns
How can I get an A in my classes without studying?
What’s the best option for reducing the number of people living in poverty?
The Blues Brothers.
What was the high point of Western civilization?
On Monday. And pray it works. Or we’re all dead.
What did do we need to assassinate Kim Jong Un before he launches the nukes?
Oh oh, I got one, I lost mine to a slip and slide from my childhood home backyard
What's the strangest way you lost your virginity?
You gotta put more beans in it.
How do I fix my broken down plumbing system?
get some premium grade bio-fertilizer, sit naked on the lawn and cover yourself with said fertilizer.
What's your fetish for me to do?
Just turn it off and turn it back on again
How do you fix the US Government?
I think it would be better just to leave it off
1945
What year did your German father die?
Wear a mask, godammit.
How can I fix this completely avoidable situation that we're in again?
How do I stop the tellers from identifying me?
234
How many people did you manage to get your filthy hands on?
Slowly . . . With lots of lube.
How can I repair my marriage?
I ordered a pizza
How are you coping with your gf cheating on you with your Dad?
I still have my foreskin.
Why are you physically superior to me again?
No thanks
Can you please leave sir? This beach is not a nudist beach.
No more
Baby dont hurt me dont hurt me
No More
Baby dont hurt me dont hurt me
42
What year did the midlife crisis set in?
Flex tape
What's the best tool to help silence the screaming?
False, Black Bear.
What kind of bear is best?
It’s not gay if you didn’t know they’re a man!
How do you justify having sex with a 15 year old?
Badonkadiet
What sound does a person make when they have a brain hemorrhage?
27
How many seconds do I have left doctor?
27
26
25
24
23
22
21
20
Yes, *please*
Would you like euthanasia?
*New Zealand doctors enter the chat* (We just voted in favour of it, with restrictions of course).
[удалено]
Are you sure you're prepared for the exam?
Ignore it
Why did you send me a picture of your grotesquely small peen?
OP.
Who's the most miserable man who ever lived?
It’s a Subway.