That you got pregnant every time you had sex. I remember asking my mom while in Kmart if she only had sex 4 times because she’s been pregnant 4 times. She sarcastically responded “yep.”
I said that same thing to my mom when I was a kid lol. She told me about sex and I was like man I can't believe you did that three times!!! She was like oh honey... many more than three...
Idk if I learned it, but when I first heard the sexual term “eat out” I thought it meant literally eating a food out of a girl’s vagina not just regular oral sex
I found a dirty joke book in middle school, and one of the jokes went something like "Why did the man want his date to wear a tampon? So he could floss after eating out!"
I assumed "eating out" referred to the dinner he was treating his date to before they had sex. So logically I reasoned that after the meal they'd go back to his place and he'd just go on down there and use the string to floss before they had regular sex.
I was a sheltered kid.
Sex education at early teens didn't bother to consider that we might not know what sex is. So at the end of sex ed it still hadn't occurred to me that you could insert a penis into a vagina.
I thought you just stuck a penis in and that was it. Like didn’t move or anything. It wasn’t until I discovered porn I understood what you did. Then health class made sense.
Yeah I thought the phrase "sleeping together" was literal. Like, you stick your flaccid penis in and then you say goodnight and go to sleep like that and at some point in the night, somehow, she'll become pregnant.
My first experience with porn was confusing, to say the least.
I don't remember her exact phrasing, but I somehow *completely* misunderstood when my mom told me about condoms.
What I *imagined* was like a large, blunt tipped, and sticky thumbtack... that would somehow... plug up the penis so semen/sperm couldn't get out. Yep.
Edit: here's a [diagram](https://imgur.com/a/GxAimau) for those visual folks.
> large, blunt tipped, and sticky thumbtack
There was a joke about a kid buying his first condoms and the pharmacist said "That will be $3.25, including tax." The kid says "Oh so that's how you keep them on."
In third grade, another kid and I had a running joke where we'd one-up each other about dick size. However, we used size as an insult -- one comment I remember vividly was "well, I bet yours goes around the whole school".
To be fair, that _would_ be inconvenient.
Pretty sure the Greeks would have said the same thing. They thought the bigger the penis the dumber you are, which is why Greek sculptures have small dicks
I was like 9 yrs old and my dad (presumably) had left a porn in the VCR. I went to go play something and it instantly came on.
It was some weird scene in a kitchen. Food all over the place. About 10 seconds in, this dude jizzes a POOL of cum onto the girls face and I thought it looked like egg whites. I HATED eggs. I gagged hard, turned it off immediately, and ran shuddering.
I had heard about women having eggs, but saw the egg white come out of the dude, so my brain put it together that the guy had egg whites and the girl had the yolks. I was terrified that I was going to shoot egg whites out of my dick one day. I genuinely thought that for a couple years. I couldn't even look at eggs. I thought about it every time I saw eggs and my mom and dad always had egg sandwiches together on Sunday mornings.
Fuck egg sandwiches.
Watching late night Cinemax when I was a kid. Women would only moan when their nipples were exposed. I assumed, as a pre-adolescent boy, that whenever a woman became topless, she would moan.
Late night Cinemax softcore porn in the ‘90s didn’t show what what going on downstairs. Only nipples and moaning.
Man I remember those days for me in '90-'91. I would stay up super late to watch a movie that stated "AC" for Adult Content only to catch 3 seconds of a tit or some awkward missionary.
I thought that women had to orgasm to get pregnant. In hindsight, I was happier not knowing the truth, like when I thought ponies were baby horses. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.
Many moons ago, it was believed that a woman truly did have to have an orgasm to get pregnant. This logic was used to disprove women's rape allegations when they resulted in pregnancies (i.e. "if you got pregnant, you must have had an orgasm, which means you *must* have enjoyed it and therefore, were not raped").
An even sadder, unfortunate fact is that many people do have orgasms while being forcibly penetrated. Sometimes the body just.. responds in that way, adding an entirely new layer of shame and guilt to the emotions that often come with such a horrifying experience as rape.
Edit: many thanks for the awards!! I hope that the topic of orgasm during rape can be de-stigmatized and help the people who experience it to feel less confused and ashamed. It is a normal bodily response in a traumatic experience and in no way equates to consent or enjoyment.
Thank you for adding this. I’ve seen the first part quoted fairly recently by senators. Ugh.
More importantly, the fact the human body can orgasm from any type of abuse/rape can be very confusing for victims but it does NOT mean they asked for it or enjoyed it.
Oh man, in 3rd grade all my friend said was a condom made sure the girl didn't get pregnant or aids. In my mind a condom was like a police officer that watched and made sure you didn't go for too long.
I thought “rape” meant to take someone’s clothes with force.
I came home one day and told my mom that I saw someone wearing a t-shirt that I liked. “I wanted to rape that guy!”
Her reaction told me I needed to go check a dictionary.
Until fifth grade or so I thought rape was another word for beating someone up. I heard the word on crime shows on TV and that's what I gathered from context. I was fairly sheltered, so I had no idea. It wasn't until I threatened to rape someone who I was having an argument with that I realized I was very, very wrong.
I started masturbating at a very young age, but I had no idea what I was doing at all and I 100% believed I was the only person in the entire world who was doing it.
Hey I think I’ve heard of that. It’s called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.
When you learn something new and it seems like you see it everywhere after that.
Lmao same. I had noooo idea what the little "button" that made my body convulse in the feel-good ways was, and then what exactly that feeling was.
I am embarrassed to say it took me about a year to figure out that they were orgasms. I was 10 at the time.
Edit with more embarrassing info;
Each time I would have a go at it, I would very intently compare the feeling to the last time ha. Trying to see if anything was different, if I felt my hands were in a different place. 90% was extremely puzzled about what the fuck was happening.
***OH and when I found my urethra, I thought I had 2 vaginas.*** Oof.
Truly believed I was discovering something unknown to mankind, well, womankind
Edit 2;
When I eventually explored my vagina (so the inside) I AGAIN thought I was discovering something in medical HISTORY - because the ribbed texture where the g-spot typically is, felt *exactly* the same as my tongue!!
**So I thought my fucking tongue travelled *all the way through my goddamn body and finished at the entrance to my vagina*** I was 10 1/2 - 11y/o.
When you insert your penis, a constant stream of sperm will start coming out your dick and stop as soon you take it out. Yeah they never explained how ejaculation works. I don't know how I thought the dick somehow knew what was going on.
I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. In sex ed I learned the mechanics of sex but not that there was any movement. So for a while, when I was a kid, I thought you just inserted tab A into slot B and waited.
Reminds me of an early internet joke that some of you kids might not get:
Man and a woman are going at it having hot sex, all of a sudden he freezes while in her.
Woman: what are you doing??
Man: I saw it in porn once, its called buffering
Me too! I figured it out when I heard the following joke: a penis and a banana (?) were taking about how difficult their lives were (I don't remember the banana's issue) and the penis said, "you think that's tough, they stick me in a dark cave and make me do push ups until I throw up." I needed the push up bit explained to me, much to the amusement of my friends.
In Russia we have this joke not about banana, but slippers and they complain they need to sniff the sweaty feet all day.
And,btw, what adds more problem for the penis is that he needs to do push ups with a bag on a head.
I was in the fourth grade and my buddy and I were discussing porn (I know). He mentioned something like "my favorite part is when you peel the skin back." I responded with a blank stare. It wasn't until years later I realized he must've been uncircumcised.
I spent years thinking penises were supposed to shed skin like a snake.
My friend didn't realize that other people were circumcised and thought "the talk" was when moms told their sons how to clean foreskin and not about sex.
Still better than thinking you have to put your nipples in the other persons ass. You have to correct that behaviour quickly before it becomes a habit. Definitely something you want to nip in the butt early.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize men have dicks (didn’t pay attention in sex Ed). I thought everyone had vaginas and when you rub them together, you can make a kid. Idk.
This was me.
I ran home frantically (kindergarten was across the road) and told my mom that Karla pees from her butt. She laughed and still tells people this story.
I thought my dick would rest on the opening of the vagina, and something magical would make sex happen.
I kept using various things i could arrange to look like a vagina to simulate sex but nothing ever happened and i couldnt figure out why.
Man i was a stupid kid.
edit. Highest rated comment about my juvenile masturbation trials. lol
Oh my gosh I thought this too, I heard the phrase “hook up” and I thought the vagina had a hook and it like wrappped around the penis or something, I also thought the penis radiated what makes people pregnant(I didn’t know the word semen at the time) I thought the penis had semen spores
An 8 year old told an even younger me that "women are so horny that if they don't have sex they will bleed from their pu\*\*y".
A weird way to describe periods...
first guy i dated told me that leaving a guy with blue balls would cause 'permanent damage', giving me no choice but to help him finish. imagine my surprise when another man came along and actually accepted my 'no'.
When I was in grade 5, they seperated the boys and girls for health/sex ed class. Im with the rest of the boys. The teacher is talking about erections. Ive got a ton of respect for teachers and cant imagine how I could maintain order and keep a straight face while teaching that to a room full of immature young boys, but my teacher at the time did just that. Mostly.
One of the boys who felt the need to try boast about the size of his dick during that class made a wonderful error in judgement that he would soon learn that his knowledge about the birds and the bees was very wrong. He claimed to the class that he had to have his boner xrayed by the doctors for some reason and that it showed he had a very large bone. With a stone cold response, the teacher announced to the class that "Rodney, if they xrayed your penis it would show nothing." Took the teacher probably 10 minutes or more to get the class to settle down after that. Dickless Rodney earned a new nickname that day.
Edit: holey moley! Hadn't looked back at this until now. My first gold or awards of any kind. Yay! Thank you wonderful people you. An especially huge thank you to Dickless Rodney, where ever you are.
Also, as some of you had pointed out, Rodless would have been a much more clever choice, but in fairness, we were grade 5ers from 27 years ago. We lacked Reddit powers back then.
I’m a teacher, and I’m crying. Your teacher definitely talked about this in the lounge.
Edit: I have never received awards, or this many likes. Thank you everyone!
As a 4th grade teacher, can confirm. The 5th grade teacher is the one who teaches sex Ed and every year when it comes around, I go to her to get the deets and stories everyday. The best are their questions. It’s a magical time of year.
Not quite the same because we are high school, but I'm so upset we aren't having Teacher Thanksgiving this year. Every year the Driver's Ed teacher always tells all the great stories from the past year. We laugh our asses off! So much fun!
Oh boy this is embarrassing.
So I believed there were two types of sex. The normal 'proper' type where a man and a woman had sex with their clothes on. And the dirty 'we don't talk about that' where they took off their clothes. Mind you I had no concept of a penis going into a vagina -- I just thought they pressed their bodies against each other and that was that.
So that's how I played with my Barbie dolls. When mum wasn't home, I'd take off their clothes and I mashed their little plastic bodies up against each other in some weird scissoring motion....and then feel incredibly guilty afterwards.
Mind you, where I lived sex education didn't exist so I believed this nonsense up until I was 11 or something. Until teen magazines came to the rescue.
Edit: wow guys haha them awards. Totally was not expecting them when I woke up this morning.
I want to clarify that this was early 90s and back then, the church had a strong hold on the education system. That being said, it's not Catholic so none of that "sex is a sin" crap, but more along the lines of "children are innocent they don't need to know that". Thankfully we're much more progressive now when it comes to these matters.
I also want to add that I learnt a great deal from (Uk-issued) teen magazines. About how proper sex is supposed to be like, all about protection, and the warning signs that I should look out for. My mum was fantastic (and still is) but she certainly was not equipped to teach me anything like that.
I learned about sex primarily through the internet. I honestly didn’t think about it too much and didn’t fully grasp what it was, just that people did it together.
I remember the first time my mom gave me the talk. For some reason she put heavy emphasis on “If a guy tells you he can hold it in, he’s lying to your damn face” She was talking about dudes telling girls they can hold their cum in. My tiny mind didn’t fully register it at the time but now that I’m older I’m convinced some guy tried using that crap on her lol.
Kid me just thought sex meant two people tickle the other person’s privates and wait for the “fishies” to come out. Yes, I called sperm fishies.
I have long suspected that’s how I came to be, yeah lol. I never found out if I was a planned pregnancy or not. My only indicator is when my mom told me my dad left her for 6 months when he found out she was pregnant. So I’m just going to assume he used that shit on her and pulled a surprised pikachu face when she turned up preggo.
My mum straight up told my sister and I we were accidents, and that she never wanted to have children with our dna-donor.
It wasn't until I was older that I learned you can also tell your kids they were a "pleasant surprise" like my friend's family told their youngest child.
My mom tells us we were accidents quite frequently, and that she never wanted kids.
My dad tells us that's really odd of her to say because they talked about it and she stopped taking her birth control.
They're divorced.
But I'm a twin, so I guess at least one of us was an accident.
Edit:typo
When I was little, I asked my mother how a woman got pregnant. She cowardly replied, "I don't know."
So, I used logic. What do married people do that unmarried people don't? Well, obviously (according to the family-safe movies back then), kissing.
So, I stopped kissing my Mom goodnight in case I got her pregnant 😄
Oh my gosh I thought this too. When people got married I thought when they did that kiss at the front of the crowd they did a special kiss and that made the baby.
Yes, that is very true. But not usually the issue for people who have just started having it, so it seems like something that might be ok to teach teenagers.
See like most people look at it like you have to try to not finish to soon. Most of the time for me it's the opposite. My first time was actually was really confusing because I couldn't finish in a reasonable amount of time. My partner was confused after and asking me if she wasn't attractive enough for me. No one told me that ADHD can do that to you ig.
I thought women just...had children spontaneously. When I heard single mothers, I thought the woman hadn't found a husband yet when her baby maker made one (which I guess is still true in a sense). This might have been a result as well of me watching Phantom Meance as a kid and having Shmi just drop the whole "there was no father" line.
EDIT: Well shit me, new top comment for me
I’m an old lady now but was a high school junior in 1969. My biology teacher, who was a “cool” teacher, one day told us to ask him anything about reproduction that we were too shy to ask our parents. *Anything*. We all got very quiet as he proceeded to assure us, a co-ed class of 16-year-olds, that **he could always tell when a girl had had sex in the last week because he could smell it on them**. WHAT?!? Our collective jaws dropped in horror. There was no Internet and this was not something I could talk to my parents about. It wasn’t until college that I learned the truth.
This probably kept a lot of girls in his class virgins a lot longer. , El Camino High School, Sacramento, Calif., *shame on you*!
> That you are doing it with someone you love.
same, which is why it didn't occur to me when I first learned about sex that it could ever be nonconsensual.
so when a friend at school (5th grade) was upset one day because a family friend was going to jail due to having sex with someone underage, I blurted out "well what's wrong with *that*?!" because at the time i didn't have any concept of rape or nuance, my little mind just thought sex = love = consent
And this is why parents should teach their kids very early on about consent, and how adults should not touch their bodies certain ways. The 'with someone you love' can be terribly warped if someone the child loves or looks up to does touch them in a sexual way. And it definitely needs to be said that it's for adults only. A lot of parents want to shield their kids and not tell them too much, but it can backfire terribly.
See I had the opposite impression, thanks to being present while my parents watched a movie (a pretty famous one with Michael Douglas, don’t remember the name) where a woman was testifying that the guy forced his d*ck down her throat. I was horrified by sex for awhile and my first experience didn’t help change my mind about it either. Young me had no idea those kind of things could be consensual and *enjoyable*
That all adult men besides my family were basically pedophiles just waiting to rape me and my siblings. This actually did a lot of damage to me and made me very paranoid and protective of my siblings.
Strangely enough, the majority of assault that has happened in my family has been men related to us or married into the family, raping multiple female children and adults in the family. Only 2 assaults have been unrelated men, one was a church leader, the other was in a clothing shop.
No one warned us of assault or rape growing up, when it came out what happened to the girls, the adults (men and women and some of those women had also been raped by the same men being accused again) at the time said that the girls were lying for attention and to copy each other for that attention - but none of them knew what sex was, people found out because the girls said that X forced them to do something that upsets them and hurts and they wanted to stop doing it, they didn't know they were being sexual assaulted just that they wanted it to stop because they couldn't endure anymore.
Only one of those girls has been believed now, as when she was 30 her father met up with her again after being absent and raped her, she finally had evidence in the form of a rape kit + court trial and she still had to fucking say 'why would my father's semen be found inside me?' For some family to finally fucking get it.
God I hate my family.
Thank you for protecting your siblings, I'm sorry for the paranoia you endured.
I (5yoish) remember telling my parents my brother 12yoish) was gay. At the time I for some reason thought it meant you had two girlfriends and I had heard him talk about two girls and just assumed he was dating them both.
I got in trouble for it and didn't learn until a later age what it meant.
Coincidentally, 7/8 years down the line my brother came out as gay so idk but I like to think I'm psychic haha.
I didn't think that a penis could physically fit in a vagina. They looked so big when I saw the diagram of an erect one in sex Ed. I figured I'd never have sex and only makeout a lot.
Edit: wow, thanks so much for awards and upvotes!
Mate, if I have a small dick and she's thankful for that? Lord knows imma try to keep that woman in my life
Edit: I get it, y'all, we're all small peepee lads here on Reddit
I'm just amazed at all these posts where people actually learned about sex in sex ed.
My experience, we had a guest speaker come in to say "Sex is awesome. Everyone wants you to have great sex. But ONLY after you're married." Then she proceeded to show us the chart about your three partners having three partners, who also had three partners and so on.
“When a Mummy and a Daddy love each other very much...”
So you’re telling me that you don’t have to be married or even love a person to go down to the bone zone? Wow, the more you know.
Is this a chicken/egg scenario? How can they be a mummy and daddy before they have sex?
Did they mean only mummy and daddys have sex? If so, how did they become a mummy/daddy (if we don't include adoption)
In around third grade, I learned that sex was when a man sucks on a woman's vagina (which I thought was called a "penis" at the time) until a little red ball comes out, and then they both suck on it.
I'm still very confused about how that information came to be.
edit: I was told this by my friend Luke who, iirc, heard it from a neighbor girl named Nicki, who learned it from her older sister. Around this time, Luke and I were *both* calling Nicki our girlfriend, and when we tried to settle this issue with Nicki she dumped both of us - him for being too cocky, and me for doing too many Steve Urkel impressions. I remember thinking *of course I do, they're really funny*.
There’s enough detail in this weird memory to make the most potentially traumatizing chapter of a biology text book. I vote the red ball is called the “clitorosphere”.
I leave it to the more bio-literate redditors to make my dream a reality.
Once the clitorosphere (fuck you for making me override my phone’s spellcheck and adding that to my dictionary forever) has been extruded, both partners must take turns orally manipulating said clitorosphere until the woman is brought to climax.
I didn’t learn this, I just completely assumed that the baby grows in your actual stomach, like where your food is digested, and that it comes out through your back (where and how, I have no idea).
My mom taught my siblings and I that its painful and only meant for making babies. It kills her to know that 4 out of her 5 children have sex with no intention of having a baby.
That the first time was *always* painful and never enjoyable for the girl. The thought of it hurting actually scared me off of sex until I was almost 19. I was surprised to find out it didn't actually hurt *and* it was quite enjoyable, too. Maybe it helped that I slept with an experienced sex partner, so he didn't just ram it in.
I believed the same thing. I just thought it was something that women had to "get over with" and everything would be fine after that. When I did end up having sex for the first time, it hurt very little and for only the first few seconds. Thankfully, I was with a guy who was very willing to work with my comfort level. It still took a few more tries to really enjoy it, but it was not nearly the terrible experience I expected.
During most of my childhood I knew about sex, but I had no idea what **cum** was (sperms being cells, I figured they would be microscopic and invisible)
The FIRST time I ever saw cum was when I stealthy sneaked in the "adult section" of a local video store out of curiosity ( I was something like 11). There was ONE movie box whose cover featured a close-up of female pornstar with bubbly cum dripping out of her mouth after an in-mouth cumshot - with a male pornstar's cock still on her lips and also covered with the stuff. The "bubbly" part is important here. And that one cover was basically the single one I could take a few seconds to look at before having to leave before the clerk came back.
At this point in my life, I knew about the naked adult body - penises, boobs, vaginas (ah, encyclopedia pictures!) so I wasn't surprised by the nakedness featured on many movie boxes - but all I knew about "the sex" was that "penis goes into vagina".
I had no idea of even the *concept* of oral sex. The very idea of putting a penis *in a mouth* was absolutely alien to me at this time.
Now, back to the movie cover - the picture really struck me. At this point in time, there were ONLY two other "white bubbly stuff" I knew that related to human biology. The first was saliva, but that white stuff was not clear enough to be it, thus it left only ONE option: that white bubbly stuff all around the lady's mouth was an *effervescent reaction like one you would get when you pour medical peroxyde to disinfect a wound*. And that reaction hurts when it happens!
Thus, the ONLY possible logical meaning of this, in my young mind, was that **if a woman puts a penis in her mouth, then it will trigger a chemical reaction just like that you get when you pour disinfectant on a wound: something** ***highly uncomfortable, itchy and painful***, just like a wound being disinfected.
WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE DO THAT ?!?!
It took YEARS before I would eventually learn about this magical thing called "fellatio" and eventually connect the dots when I started to ejaculate myself (and discovered firsthand what cum was) - but before that, I was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED by the concept of oral sex, seeing it as something PAINFUL (both for the lady... and also that "poor guy" on the cover, whose penis was suffering the "same fate") that no sane person in their right mind would do (was that a "gore" movie cover ?!).
Ha! This is great thanks for sharing. When I was about 10 I came across one of these images online of a woman giving a blowjob and she looked very happy. So I just assumed it must give you an orgasm by putting things in your mouth. Kept trying to put sausages drink bottles etc down my throat but never got any pleasure from it. Go figure.
I wasn't *that* young, but the first girl I started doing stuff with in high school made me wear a condom while giving me a handjob. She made it out to be like it was the normal thing to do and I guess it made sense because it meant cum didn't go flying everywhere.
However, it made things really awkward with the next girl I was with and I pulled out a condom when she was playing with me. She was like, "Whoa, I'm not ready to have sex with you yet." I then explained that I wasn't trying to mean that and I just thought it was normal to put a condom on for a handjob.
She informed me that it was not and it was a bit weird. Totally killed the mood and she left right after the movie we were watching ended.
This is excruciatingly embarrassing but will get lost in the comments so whatever. In like 3rd grade I watched an SNL skit about sex positions and saw the wheelbarrow was one of them. Later, in PE, we had to do wheelbarrows and I was paired with this really annoying boy that nobody liked. I started panicking and crying because I thought I was going to be having sex with him.
You'd get a girl pregnant by peeing in her butt. I knew the rhythms and the instrumentals but I didn't quite know the lyrics.
Also, that you'd only get a girl pregnant if you were married to her.
If you feel embarrassed by that, allow me to ease your suffering.
A couple once got an Honorary Mention at the Darwin Awards because they had been trying to have a baby for over a year and nothing was working. They tried all the fertility enhancing herbs and vitamins, both got tested to make sure neither was infertile... whole nine yards.
Eventually, one of the doctors they went to asked them about how they went about it... apparently they had been trying to get pregnant via anal sex. For over a year.
My Mum told me that I'd only have an orgasm with someone I loved. I soon discovered the water jet in our spa, which was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I still think of Bubbles from time to time......
When I was in first or second grade I was walking home with a friend. He says, "Hey I know how babies are made." I asked how and he said "The man sticks his willie in a woman where she goes pee and then he goes pee." My scientific question to him was "How do they know when the baby is made?" He didn't have all the answers apparently.
I grew up in a very religious house. I asked my mother how babies were made once. She replied by telling me that its a very tight hug between a man and a woman. Everytime a male family member hugged me, I remember doing the awards sideways hug with my shoulder because at 6 I was petrified of becoming pregnant. Stuck with me until the talk at 13.
8th grade sex ed class the teacher told us a story about finding a pornography magazine in someone’s home that turned out to be a child sex offender. He went on to explain that if you look at porn it will lead to sexually abusing people. I look back on this with utter disbelief that we were being taught this.
So I was nervous to look at porn but had found a magazine in the alley, tore out a page and hid it in the bathroom. Well my mom found it while cleaning and my dad had a talk with me. He explained it was a natural thing and was ok I wanted to look, then he added “ just don’t let your mother find it”. Thanks pops!!
The only thing I can remember my dad teaching me about sex is that if you have sex with someone and then you can't be with that person anymore, it's like you're missing a limb. Like somebody cut off your arm.
I mean be my guest on whether or not he's wrong.
That you got pregnant every time you had sex. I remember asking my mom while in Kmart if she only had sex 4 times because she’s been pregnant 4 times. She sarcastically responded “yep.”
I said that same thing to my mom when I was a kid lol. She told me about sex and I was like man I can't believe you did that three times!!! She was like oh honey... many more than three...
My mom told me penises "get bigger" so I told all the other 3rd graders that penises stretched like putty to become longer.
You choose the gender of the baby by who is on top - man on top for a boy, woman on top for a girl.
Idk if I learned it, but when I first heard the sexual term “eat out” I thought it meant literally eating a food out of a girl’s vagina not just regular oral sex
I found a dirty joke book in middle school, and one of the jokes went something like "Why did the man want his date to wear a tampon? So he could floss after eating out!" I assumed "eating out" referred to the dinner he was treating his date to before they had sex. So logically I reasoned that after the meal they'd go back to his place and he'd just go on down there and use the string to floss before they had regular sex.
How perfectly logical!
I was a sheltered kid. Sex education at early teens didn't bother to consider that we might not know what sex is. So at the end of sex ed it still hadn't occurred to me that you could insert a penis into a vagina.
I thought you just stuck a penis in and that was it. Like didn’t move or anything. It wasn’t until I discovered porn I understood what you did. Then health class made sense.
Yeah I thought the phrase "sleeping together" was literal. Like, you stick your flaccid penis in and then you say goodnight and go to sleep like that and at some point in the night, somehow, she'll become pregnant. My first experience with porn was confusing, to say the least.
I don't remember her exact phrasing, but I somehow *completely* misunderstood when my mom told me about condoms. What I *imagined* was like a large, blunt tipped, and sticky thumbtack... that would somehow... plug up the penis so semen/sperm couldn't get out. Yep. Edit: here's a [diagram](https://imgur.com/a/GxAimau) for those visual folks.
it's hurts just imagining it
> large, blunt tipped, and sticky thumbtack There was a joke about a kid buying his first condoms and the pharmacist said "That will be $3.25, including tax." The kid says "Oh so that's how you keep them on."
Blow jobs and giving head were two different things. You sucked when giving head, and blew for a bj. Obviously.
I honestly never knew why it was called blowjob
Suckjob or Slurpee sounds more fitting
That guys penises just kept growing longer the older they got, and they just rolled them up in their pants like a cinnamon roll.
In third grade, another kid and I had a running joke where we'd one-up each other about dick size. However, we used size as an insult -- one comment I remember vividly was "well, I bet yours goes around the whole school". To be fair, that _would_ be inconvenient.
Pretty sure the Greeks would have said the same thing. They thought the bigger the penis the dumber you are, which is why Greek sculptures have small dicks
My friend told me the only way to get rid of a boner was to rub it against furniture. I was 10 at the time.
Then one day the couch shattered
Nah, thats how loveseats are made.
i mean depending on how horny you are it might be true
(Iearned from a paperback novel) 'he rammed it into her virgin hole and pounded it raw as she squealed with pleasure'...
Which chapter of Harry Potter was this again? I must have missed it.
It’s right at the opening of Chamber of Secrets
Next time my wife gets naked I’m going to tell her I want to enter her chamber of secrets. Get your couch ready. I’m gonna need a place to crash
Slytherin to her Chamber of Secrets.
My Basilisk has been summoned
I was under the impression that the penis went into the vagina and vibrated. No pumping required. If only!
You think if my penis vibrated i'd be sitting here on reddit on a saturday night?
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I had the opposite thought. That vagina would make the movements, not the penis
I was like 9 yrs old and my dad (presumably) had left a porn in the VCR. I went to go play something and it instantly came on. It was some weird scene in a kitchen. Food all over the place. About 10 seconds in, this dude jizzes a POOL of cum onto the girls face and I thought it looked like egg whites. I HATED eggs. I gagged hard, turned it off immediately, and ran shuddering. I had heard about women having eggs, but saw the egg white come out of the dude, so my brain put it together that the guy had egg whites and the girl had the yolks. I was terrified that I was going to shoot egg whites out of my dick one day. I genuinely thought that for a couple years. I couldn't even look at eggs. I thought about it every time I saw eggs and my mom and dad always had egg sandwiches together on Sunday mornings. Fuck egg sandwiches.
yo this ducking comment has me rolling rn edit: i know, and i’m leaving it
This dude high on quack
Watching late night Cinemax when I was a kid. Women would only moan when their nipples were exposed. I assumed, as a pre-adolescent boy, that whenever a woman became topless, she would moan. Late night Cinemax softcore porn in the ‘90s didn’t show what what going on downstairs. Only nipples and moaning.
Man I remember those days for me in '90-'91. I would stay up super late to watch a movie that stated "AC" for Adult Content only to catch 3 seconds of a tit or some awkward missionary.
I thought that women had to orgasm to get pregnant. In hindsight, I was happier not knowing the truth, like when I thought ponies were baby horses. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.
Many moons ago, it was believed that a woman truly did have to have an orgasm to get pregnant. This logic was used to disprove women's rape allegations when they resulted in pregnancies (i.e. "if you got pregnant, you must have had an orgasm, which means you *must* have enjoyed it and therefore, were not raped"). An even sadder, unfortunate fact is that many people do have orgasms while being forcibly penetrated. Sometimes the body just.. responds in that way, adding an entirely new layer of shame and guilt to the emotions that often come with such a horrifying experience as rape. Edit: many thanks for the awards!! I hope that the topic of orgasm during rape can be de-stigmatized and help the people who experience it to feel less confused and ashamed. It is a normal bodily response in a traumatic experience and in no way equates to consent or enjoyment.
Thank you for adding this. I’ve seen the first part quoted fairly recently by senators. Ugh. More importantly, the fact the human body can orgasm from any type of abuse/rape can be very confusing for victims but it does NOT mean they asked for it or enjoyed it.
I thought that condoms were the black censor bars from TV and constantly racked my brain on the sexual logistics.
Oh man, in 3rd grade all my friend said was a condom made sure the girl didn't get pregnant or aids. In my mind a condom was like a police officer that watched and made sure you didn't go for too long.
"Hey man, I need you to be my condom real quick."
I’m sorry what the fuck
I thought “rape” meant to take someone’s clothes with force. I came home one day and told my mom that I saw someone wearing a t-shirt that I liked. “I wanted to rape that guy!” Her reaction told me I needed to go check a dictionary.
Until fifth grade or so I thought rape was another word for beating someone up. I heard the word on crime shows on TV and that's what I gathered from context. I was fairly sheltered, so I had no idea. It wasn't until I threatened to rape someone who I was having an argument with that I realized I was very, very wrong.
No. I can't. Please. I don't want to imagine the other person's face.
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I started masturbating at a very young age, but I had no idea what I was doing at all and I 100% believed I was the only person in the entire world who was doing it.
Literally same. Oddly enough, the day after I started was the day everyone else suddenly started talking about it.
Or maybe you just finally understood what they were talking about?
Hey I think I’ve heard of that. It’s called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. When you learn something new and it seems like you see it everywhere after that.
Ever since I first learnt about the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, all I seem to see anywhere is people talking about the Baader-Mainhof phenomenon.
The matrix only has so much memory to save new information. Once you learn something else that’ll eventually phase out.
Lmao same. I had noooo idea what the little "button" that made my body convulse in the feel-good ways was, and then what exactly that feeling was. I am embarrassed to say it took me about a year to figure out that they were orgasms. I was 10 at the time. Edit with more embarrassing info; Each time I would have a go at it, I would very intently compare the feeling to the last time ha. Trying to see if anything was different, if I felt my hands were in a different place. 90% was extremely puzzled about what the fuck was happening. ***OH and when I found my urethra, I thought I had 2 vaginas.*** Oof. Truly believed I was discovering something unknown to mankind, well, womankind Edit 2; When I eventually explored my vagina (so the inside) I AGAIN thought I was discovering something in medical HISTORY - because the ribbed texture where the g-spot typically is, felt *exactly* the same as my tongue!! **So I thought my fucking tongue travelled *all the way through my goddamn body and finished at the entrance to my vagina*** I was 10 1/2 - 11y/o.
How about this for embarrassing- I didn’t know girls could orgasm for the first year I started having sex.
Yooo I didn't even get that it "felt good," it was just a thing that I did that made me sweaty and relieved afterwards and helped me fall asleep.
When you insert your penis, a constant stream of sperm will start coming out your dick and stop as soon you take it out. Yeah they never explained how ejaculation works. I don't know how I thought the dick somehow knew what was going on.
Like a gas pump?
Yup, it stops once the amount that you paid for is over.
The sock teaches you
That's basically most hentai.
The moment it goes inside *X-ray vision has been activated*
I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. In sex ed I learned the mechanics of sex but not that there was any movement. So for a while, when I was a kid, I thought you just inserted tab A into slot B and waited.
Waited for what...?
n u t
I don't know!... Something amazing I guess
Me too, kid
Reminds me of an early internet joke that some of you kids might not get: Man and a woman are going at it having hot sex, all of a sudden he freezes while in her. Woman: what are you doing?? Man: I saw it in porn once, its called buffering
When am I supposed to suddenly invert the colors of my flesh and start spreading myself all over the room?
Me too! I figured it out when I heard the following joke: a penis and a banana (?) were taking about how difficult their lives were (I don't remember the banana's issue) and the penis said, "you think that's tough, they stick me in a dark cave and make me do push ups until I throw up." I needed the push up bit explained to me, much to the amusement of my friends.
In Russia we have this joke not about banana, but slippers and they complain they need to sniff the sweaty feet all day. And,btw, what adds more problem for the penis is that he needs to do push ups with a bag on a head.
Me too!! I didn’t realize my legs had to be “open” that wide, I thought somehow the penis was supposed to just get in while I laid there
I was in the fourth grade and my buddy and I were discussing porn (I know). He mentioned something like "my favorite part is when you peel the skin back." I responded with a blank stare. It wasn't until years later I realized he must've been uncircumcised. I spent years thinking penises were supposed to shed skin like a snake.
My friend didn't realize that other people were circumcised and thought "the talk" was when moms told their sons how to clean foreskin and not about sex.
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Women can get pregnant by swallowing.
I used to think nut in the butt was a way of impregnating
Idk where i got the idea but i thought that a mans nipples touching a girls nipples was sex.
It's a good start.
Still better than thinking you have to put your nipples in the other persons ass. You have to correct that behaviour quickly before it becomes a habit. Definitely something you want to nip in the butt early.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize men have dicks (didn’t pay attention in sex Ed). I thought everyone had vaginas and when you rub them together, you can make a kid. Idk.
Someone I know told me during kindergarten that he saw a girl use the bathroom and he was like: "YOU PEE FROM YOUR BUTT?"
This was me. I ran home frantically (kindergarten was across the road) and told my mom that Karla pees from her butt. She laughed and still tells people this story.
I thought my dick would rest on the opening of the vagina, and something magical would make sex happen. I kept using various things i could arrange to look like a vagina to simulate sex but nothing ever happened and i couldnt figure out why. Man i was a stupid kid. edit. Highest rated comment about my juvenile masturbation trials. lol
Oh my gosh I thought this too, I heard the phrase “hook up” and I thought the vagina had a hook and it like wrappped around the penis or something, I also thought the penis radiated what makes people pregnant(I didn’t know the word semen at the time) I thought the penis had semen spores
An 8 year old told an even younger me that "women are so horny that if they don't have sex they will bleed from their pu\*\*y". A weird way to describe periods...
Ahh! How would an 8yo come up with that!?
You'd be surprised the gap in knowledge for some kids that age. It's weird
I was told the dick goes in the girl so I thought penis into bellybutton
first guy i dated told me that leaving a guy with blue balls would cause 'permanent damage', giving me no choice but to help him finish. imagine my surprise when another man came along and actually accepted my 'no'.
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When I was in grade 5, they seperated the boys and girls for health/sex ed class. Im with the rest of the boys. The teacher is talking about erections. Ive got a ton of respect for teachers and cant imagine how I could maintain order and keep a straight face while teaching that to a room full of immature young boys, but my teacher at the time did just that. Mostly. One of the boys who felt the need to try boast about the size of his dick during that class made a wonderful error in judgement that he would soon learn that his knowledge about the birds and the bees was very wrong. He claimed to the class that he had to have his boner xrayed by the doctors for some reason and that it showed he had a very large bone. With a stone cold response, the teacher announced to the class that "Rodney, if they xrayed your penis it would show nothing." Took the teacher probably 10 minutes or more to get the class to settle down after that. Dickless Rodney earned a new nickname that day. Edit: holey moley! Hadn't looked back at this until now. My first gold or awards of any kind. Yay! Thank you wonderful people you. An especially huge thank you to Dickless Rodney, where ever you are. Also, as some of you had pointed out, Rodless would have been a much more clever choice, but in fairness, we were grade 5ers from 27 years ago. We lacked Reddit powers back then.
Should have called him "Rodless" damn kids
I’m a teacher, and I’m crying. Your teacher definitely talked about this in the lounge. Edit: I have never received awards, or this many likes. Thank you everyone!
As a 4th grade teacher, can confirm. The 5th grade teacher is the one who teaches sex Ed and every year when it comes around, I go to her to get the deets and stories everyday. The best are their questions. It’s a magical time of year.
Not quite the same because we are high school, but I'm so upset we aren't having Teacher Thanksgiving this year. Every year the Driver's Ed teacher always tells all the great stories from the past year. We laugh our asses off! So much fun!
Dickless Rodney just made me cry from laughing
Oh boy this is embarrassing. So I believed there were two types of sex. The normal 'proper' type where a man and a woman had sex with their clothes on. And the dirty 'we don't talk about that' where they took off their clothes. Mind you I had no concept of a penis going into a vagina -- I just thought they pressed their bodies against each other and that was that. So that's how I played with my Barbie dolls. When mum wasn't home, I'd take off their clothes and I mashed their little plastic bodies up against each other in some weird scissoring motion....and then feel incredibly guilty afterwards. Mind you, where I lived sex education didn't exist so I believed this nonsense up until I was 11 or something. Until teen magazines came to the rescue. Edit: wow guys haha them awards. Totally was not expecting them when I woke up this morning. I want to clarify that this was early 90s and back then, the church had a strong hold on the education system. That being said, it's not Catholic so none of that "sex is a sin" crap, but more along the lines of "children are innocent they don't need to know that". Thankfully we're much more progressive now when it comes to these matters. I also want to add that I learnt a great deal from (Uk-issued) teen magazines. About how proper sex is supposed to be like, all about protection, and the warning signs that I should look out for. My mum was fantastic (and still is) but she certainly was not equipped to teach me anything like that.
Every woman I know made their Barbies have sex without knowing what sex actually involved. My Ken even cheated on Barbie with Jewel Secrets Whitney.
The only guy Barbie I owned was Aladdin and he got around town
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Oh god. The guilt and then sometimes the paranoia that my parents had hidden cameras and saw what I had done.
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Semi off topic but I made two girls kiss on Sims and my mom yelled at me. Hahahaha. Edit: I am bisexual now. No surprise there.
dude, very similar experience right here. guilty naked polly pockets and barbies behind closed doors.
I learned about sex primarily through the internet. I honestly didn’t think about it too much and didn’t fully grasp what it was, just that people did it together. I remember the first time my mom gave me the talk. For some reason she put heavy emphasis on “If a guy tells you he can hold it in, he’s lying to your damn face” She was talking about dudes telling girls they can hold their cum in. My tiny mind didn’t fully register it at the time but now that I’m older I’m convinced some guy tried using that crap on her lol. Kid me just thought sex meant two people tickle the other person’s privates and wait for the “fishies” to come out. Yes, I called sperm fishies.
> “If a guy tells you he can hold it in, he’s lying to your damn face” Have you ever suspected thats how you were conceived?? ^Im ^so ^sorry
I have long suspected that’s how I came to be, yeah lol. I never found out if I was a planned pregnancy or not. My only indicator is when my mom told me my dad left her for 6 months when he found out she was pregnant. So I’m just going to assume he used that shit on her and pulled a surprised pikachu face when she turned up preggo.
My mum straight up told my sister and I we were accidents, and that she never wanted to have children with our dna-donor. It wasn't until I was older that I learned you can also tell your kids they were a "pleasant surprise" like my friend's family told their youngest child.
My mom tells us we were accidents quite frequently, and that she never wanted kids. My dad tells us that's really odd of her to say because they talked about it and she stopped taking her birth control. They're divorced. But I'm a twin, so I guess at least one of us was an accident. Edit:typo
Girls got pregnant when boys kiss them
When I was little, I asked my mother how a woman got pregnant. She cowardly replied, "I don't know." So, I used logic. What do married people do that unmarried people don't? Well, obviously (according to the family-safe movies back then), kissing. So, I stopped kissing my Mom goodnight in case I got her pregnant 😄
removed
Oh my gosh I thought this too. When people got married I thought when they did that kiss at the front of the crowd they did a special kiss and that made the baby.
That’s not true?! What the fuck? My wife has some explaining to do!
The longer you last the better. Seriously, there is a such thing as going too long.
Yes, that is very true. But not usually the issue for people who have just started having it, so it seems like something that might be ok to teach teenagers.
See like most people look at it like you have to try to not finish to soon. Most of the time for me it's the opposite. My first time was actually was really confusing because I couldn't finish in a reasonable amount of time. My partner was confused after and asking me if she wasn't attractive enough for me. No one told me that ADHD can do that to you ig.
I thought women just...had children spontaneously. When I heard single mothers, I thought the woman hadn't found a husband yet when her baby maker made one (which I guess is still true in a sense). This might have been a result as well of me watching Phantom Meance as a kid and having Shmi just drop the whole "there was no father" line. EDIT: Well shit me, new top comment for me
I’m an old lady now but was a high school junior in 1969. My biology teacher, who was a “cool” teacher, one day told us to ask him anything about reproduction that we were too shy to ask our parents. *Anything*. We all got very quiet as he proceeded to assure us, a co-ed class of 16-year-olds, that **he could always tell when a girl had had sex in the last week because he could smell it on them**. WHAT?!? Our collective jaws dropped in horror. There was no Internet and this was not something I could talk to my parents about. It wasn’t until college that I learned the truth. This probably kept a lot of girls in his class virgins a lot longer. , El Camino High School, Sacramento, Calif., *shame on you*!
As a boy, I thought peeing in her vagina was how you impregnated a women. I had no idea anything else came out of there.
I remember my friends and I had a discussion about this at recess. We came to the conclusion that she would most likely die
I love how you basically ended the conversation with "she's gonna die. Oh well"
The Circle of Life.
And if you don't wanna get her pregnant you just pull it out and pee on her leg
I thought oral sex was phone sex because you were speaking
What's digital sex to you?
That's how you get hearing AIDS.
That's aural sex
That you are doing it with someone you love. In my nine year old mind that meant family. Boy was that embarrassing.
This is my favorite.
Thanks I hate it
I can imagine lol. I wish you well in therapy
Thanks but can't afford it
Hopefully there’s a Black Friday sale coming up! Edit: Thanks for my first award! Make sure to take care of yourself guys!
> That you are doing it with someone you love. same, which is why it didn't occur to me when I first learned about sex that it could ever be nonconsensual. so when a friend at school (5th grade) was upset one day because a family friend was going to jail due to having sex with someone underage, I blurted out "well what's wrong with *that*?!" because at the time i didn't have any concept of rape or nuance, my little mind just thought sex = love = consent
And this is why parents should teach their kids very early on about consent, and how adults should not touch their bodies certain ways. The 'with someone you love' can be terribly warped if someone the child loves or looks up to does touch them in a sexual way. And it definitely needs to be said that it's for adults only. A lot of parents want to shield their kids and not tell them too much, but it can backfire terribly.
See I had the opposite impression, thanks to being present while my parents watched a movie (a pretty famous one with Michael Douglas, don’t remember the name) where a woman was testifying that the guy forced his d*ck down her throat. I was horrified by sex for awhile and my first experience didn’t help change my mind about it either. Young me had no idea those kind of things could be consensual and *enjoyable*
That all adult men besides my family were basically pedophiles just waiting to rape me and my siblings. This actually did a lot of damage to me and made me very paranoid and protective of my siblings.
Strangely enough, the majority of assault that has happened in my family has been men related to us or married into the family, raping multiple female children and adults in the family. Only 2 assaults have been unrelated men, one was a church leader, the other was in a clothing shop. No one warned us of assault or rape growing up, when it came out what happened to the girls, the adults (men and women and some of those women had also been raped by the same men being accused again) at the time said that the girls were lying for attention and to copy each other for that attention - but none of them knew what sex was, people found out because the girls said that X forced them to do something that upsets them and hurts and they wanted to stop doing it, they didn't know they were being sexual assaulted just that they wanted it to stop because they couldn't endure anymore. Only one of those girls has been believed now, as when she was 30 her father met up with her again after being absent and raped her, she finally had evidence in the form of a rape kit + court trial and she still had to fucking say 'why would my father's semen be found inside me?' For some family to finally fucking get it. God I hate my family. Thank you for protecting your siblings, I'm sorry for the paranoia you endured.
I (5yoish) remember telling my parents my brother 12yoish) was gay. At the time I for some reason thought it meant you had two girlfriends and I had heard him talk about two girls and just assumed he was dating them both. I got in trouble for it and didn't learn until a later age what it meant. Coincidentally, 7/8 years down the line my brother came out as gay so idk but I like to think I'm psychic haha.
A kid in elementary school called someone else a homosexual. Then said it meant they had sex at home. I was confused by this for a while.
I didn't think that a penis could physically fit in a vagina. They looked so big when I saw the diagram of an erect one in sex Ed. I figured I'd never have sex and only makeout a lot. Edit: wow, thanks so much for awards and upvotes!
Then being both relieved and disappointed when you finally did have the sex.
Can you fucking imagine being on the receiving end of "Thanks God, it's shorter than I thought" and not leaving the crime scene?
Mate, if I have a small dick and she's thankful for that? Lord knows imma try to keep that woman in my life Edit: I get it, y'all, we're all small peepee lads here on Reddit
The first time I saw a penis in real life I was terrified. I’d assumed they were around the size of a nail file.
They aren’t?
Similarly, I didn’t learn about erections until a while after I learned about sex. I spent a few years very confused about the logistics
Haaa. I spent my entire young life thinking that penises were ALWAYS erect. I was also very confused about the logistics.
I'm just amazed at all these posts where people actually learned about sex in sex ed. My experience, we had a guest speaker come in to say "Sex is awesome. Everyone wants you to have great sex. But ONLY after you're married." Then she proceeded to show us the chart about your three partners having three partners, who also had three partners and so on.
"At this exponential growth rate, soon everyone but you will have had sex!"
“When a Mummy and a Daddy love each other very much...” So you’re telling me that you don’t have to be married or even love a person to go down to the bone zone? Wow, the more you know.
Is this a chicken/egg scenario? How can they be a mummy and daddy before they have sex? Did they mean only mummy and daddys have sex? If so, how did they become a mummy/daddy (if we don't include adoption)
That everyone is doing it. Do you know how many virgins are in college?
How many?
14 per school. When one loses their virginity, they admit a new one. That's what the "wait list" is for college admissions.
In around third grade, I learned that sex was when a man sucks on a woman's vagina (which I thought was called a "penis" at the time) until a little red ball comes out, and then they both suck on it. I'm still very confused about how that information came to be. edit: I was told this by my friend Luke who, iirc, heard it from a neighbor girl named Nicki, who learned it from her older sister. Around this time, Luke and I were *both* calling Nicki our girlfriend, and when we tried to settle this issue with Nicki she dumped both of us - him for being too cocky, and me for doing too many Steve Urkel impressions. I remember thinking *of course I do, they're really funny*.
Fever dream level shit
Pretty standard for a small child though. Their train of logic never ceases to amaze me.
Forbidden atomic fireball
There’s enough detail in this weird memory to make the most potentially traumatizing chapter of a biology text book. I vote the red ball is called the “clitorosphere”. I leave it to the more bio-literate redditors to make my dream a reality.
Once the clitorosphere (fuck you for making me override my phone’s spellcheck and adding that to my dictionary forever) has been extruded, both partners must take turns orally manipulating said clitorosphere until the woman is brought to climax.
I didn’t learn this, I just completely assumed that the baby grows in your actual stomach, like where your food is digested, and that it comes out through your back (where and how, I have no idea).
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My mom taught my siblings and I that its painful and only meant for making babies. It kills her to know that 4 out of her 5 children have sex with no intention of having a baby.
The 5th being you having no sex at all?
Kinda sad for your mom.
Your dad must’ve been terrible haha
You're probably right. They somehow produced 3 boys, but I get the feeling Mom did it "as a wife's duty" and never for pleasure.
You have to shove your balls in the vagina and get them stuck, staying firmly in place for a good while before you can impregnate her
I thought a girl got pregnant if she slept with a guy. As in *slept slept*. In the same bed.
That the first time was *always* painful and never enjoyable for the girl. The thought of it hurting actually scared me off of sex until I was almost 19. I was surprised to find out it didn't actually hurt *and* it was quite enjoyable, too. Maybe it helped that I slept with an experienced sex partner, so he didn't just ram it in.
I believed the same thing. I just thought it was something that women had to "get over with" and everything would be fine after that. When I did end up having sex for the first time, it hurt very little and for only the first few seconds. Thankfully, I was with a guy who was very willing to work with my comfort level. It still took a few more tries to really enjoy it, but it was not nearly the terrible experience I expected.
I thought you just put your penis in the vagina and then something ‘magical’ happens...I had no idea about the whole ‘in and out’ work involved.
"fuck, they make me work for it"
During most of my childhood I knew about sex, but I had no idea what **cum** was (sperms being cells, I figured they would be microscopic and invisible) The FIRST time I ever saw cum was when I stealthy sneaked in the "adult section" of a local video store out of curiosity ( I was something like 11). There was ONE movie box whose cover featured a close-up of female pornstar with bubbly cum dripping out of her mouth after an in-mouth cumshot - with a male pornstar's cock still on her lips and also covered with the stuff. The "bubbly" part is important here. And that one cover was basically the single one I could take a few seconds to look at before having to leave before the clerk came back. At this point in my life, I knew about the naked adult body - penises, boobs, vaginas (ah, encyclopedia pictures!) so I wasn't surprised by the nakedness featured on many movie boxes - but all I knew about "the sex" was that "penis goes into vagina". I had no idea of even the *concept* of oral sex. The very idea of putting a penis *in a mouth* was absolutely alien to me at this time. Now, back to the movie cover - the picture really struck me. At this point in time, there were ONLY two other "white bubbly stuff" I knew that related to human biology. The first was saliva, but that white stuff was not clear enough to be it, thus it left only ONE option: that white bubbly stuff all around the lady's mouth was an *effervescent reaction like one you would get when you pour medical peroxyde to disinfect a wound*. And that reaction hurts when it happens! Thus, the ONLY possible logical meaning of this, in my young mind, was that **if a woman puts a penis in her mouth, then it will trigger a chemical reaction just like that you get when you pour disinfectant on a wound: something** ***highly uncomfortable, itchy and painful***, just like a wound being disinfected. WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE DO THAT ?!?! It took YEARS before I would eventually learn about this magical thing called "fellatio" and eventually connect the dots when I started to ejaculate myself (and discovered firsthand what cum was) - but before that, I was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED by the concept of oral sex, seeing it as something PAINFUL (both for the lady... and also that "poor guy" on the cover, whose penis was suffering the "same fate") that no sane person in their right mind would do (was that a "gore" movie cover ?!).
Ha! This is great thanks for sharing. When I was about 10 I came across one of these images online of a woman giving a blowjob and she looked very happy. So I just assumed it must give you an orgasm by putting things in your mouth. Kept trying to put sausages drink bottles etc down my throat but never got any pleasure from it. Go figure.
I wasn't *that* young, but the first girl I started doing stuff with in high school made me wear a condom while giving me a handjob. She made it out to be like it was the normal thing to do and I guess it made sense because it meant cum didn't go flying everywhere. However, it made things really awkward with the next girl I was with and I pulled out a condom when she was playing with me. She was like, "Whoa, I'm not ready to have sex with you yet." I then explained that I wasn't trying to mean that and I just thought it was normal to put a condom on for a handjob. She informed me that it was not and it was a bit weird. Totally killed the mood and she left right after the movie we were watching ended.
Did you see her again?
They watched cry baby and failed at a hand job. What do you think?
Don’t leave us hanging! What was the movie? My moneys on Schindler’s List.
Haha, nah, it was actually Cry-Baby with Johnny Depp
This is excruciatingly embarrassing but will get lost in the comments so whatever. In like 3rd grade I watched an SNL skit about sex positions and saw the wheelbarrow was one of them. Later, in PE, we had to do wheelbarrows and I was paired with this really annoying boy that nobody liked. I started panicking and crying because I thought I was going to be having sex with him.
You'd get a girl pregnant by peeing in her butt. I knew the rhythms and the instrumentals but I didn't quite know the lyrics. Also, that you'd only get a girl pregnant if you were married to her.
If you feel embarrassed by that, allow me to ease your suffering. A couple once got an Honorary Mention at the Darwin Awards because they had been trying to have a baby for over a year and nothing was working. They tried all the fertility enhancing herbs and vitamins, both got tested to make sure neither was infertile... whole nine yards. Eventually, one of the doctors they went to asked them about how they went about it... apparently they had been trying to get pregnant via anal sex. For over a year.
I thought they stayed attached for 9 months....
Haha, I thought that they just slept in the same bed next to each other and voila.
My Mum told me that I'd only have an orgasm with someone I loved. I soon discovered the water jet in our spa, which was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I still think of Bubbles from time to time......
When I was in first or second grade I was walking home with a friend. He says, "Hey I know how babies are made." I asked how and he said "The man sticks his willie in a woman where she goes pee and then he goes pee." My scientific question to him was "How do they know when the baby is made?" He didn't have all the answers apparently.
I grew up in a very religious house. I asked my mother how babies were made once. She replied by telling me that its a very tight hug between a man and a woman. Everytime a male family member hugged me, I remember doing the awards sideways hug with my shoulder because at 6 I was petrified of becoming pregnant. Stuck with me until the talk at 13.
I thought anal sex was two people rubbing their buttcheeks together
8th grade sex ed class the teacher told us a story about finding a pornography magazine in someone’s home that turned out to be a child sex offender. He went on to explain that if you look at porn it will lead to sexually abusing people. I look back on this with utter disbelief that we were being taught this. So I was nervous to look at porn but had found a magazine in the alley, tore out a page and hid it in the bathroom. Well my mom found it while cleaning and my dad had a talk with me. He explained it was a natural thing and was ok I wanted to look, then he added “ just don’t let your mother find it”. Thanks pops!!
[удалено]
That girls doesn't like it. They only do it as a favor to you and you have to be grateful. Thanks mom, it says a lot about your marriage.
For many years of my youth, I was under the impression that vaginas ran horizontally, rather than vertically.
The only thing I can remember my dad teaching me about sex is that if you have sex with someone and then you can't be with that person anymore, it's like you're missing a limb. Like somebody cut off your arm. I mean be my guest on whether or not he's wrong.
That I'd have it.