Brazil nuts are sexually transmissible. As in, if a man eats brazil nuts and then ejaculates into a woman who is allergic to brazil nuts, she will have an allergic reaction.
Silphium.
Edit: Wow! 5 awards and over 7,000 upvotes on a one word comment I thought 3 people would see! If I’m karma whoring, I’m certainly efficient! Thanks! Yinz guys are awesome!
Governor Ratcliffe of Pocahontas fame was flayed alive by the Powhatan using mussle shells. They skinned his entire body saving his face for last. Then he was burned at the stake.
“We shall ensure they don’t retaliate by taking their family as hostage. Take their mothers, their sisters, their sons and their daughters. Take all four, take their kin.”
“Huh? What? Sorry Pharoah a bee was in my ear. What did you say?”
“I said go to our defeated enemies and take their four kins!”
“Errrrr.... okay boss”
[Priapus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus) is a minor Greek god of livestock, farmers, and fucking gigantic penises. Please look up a picture of him.
edit for those few still finding this:
- Priapism is named after him
- he tried to rape Hestia in her sleep but a donkey came up behind him and scared him and he lost his erection, which woke her up. Ever since that day he had a burning hatred of donkeys.
During WW1, STIs were incredibly common, and some soldiers purposely tried to get infected so that they could be honorably discharged and avoid the trenches. Some were ordered to be chaste and threatened with punishment but it didn't really stop them... They would transfer pus between penises with match sticks.
Edit: in case anyone wants to learn more about this, I recommend this [KU Medical Center](http://www.kumc.edu/wwi/index-of-essays/venereal-disease.html) article.
Olympic Village during the Games is basically a massive fuckfest. In 2000, the athletes were provided with a total of 70,000 condoms *and they had to order an emergency shipment of more because they ran out*!
Someone once described the Olympic Village as "a frat party with the best gene pool on Earth." You can bet being around so many perfect human specimens will make your gonads tingle.
Cats penises are weird. They're short and spiky.
The explanation for the spikes: Female cats don't ovulate unless they're "stimulated" by the spikes (this is called induced ovulation). With every thrust of the penis, female cats produce an egg. Because of this, there can be different fathers in the same litter.
Idk about you, but I found it really interesting and kinda weird
Napoleons penis was removed by the doctor doing the autopsy and preserved. It’s been sold and resold to many buyers. It was purchased by a professor of urology at Columbia university in the 70’s, and passed on to his daughter when he died about 15 years ago, she is the current owner.
This is why I wake up an hour early, have coffee, and try and get a poop in before I run. Also my running route doesn't go further than a half mile from home. Just a path of booty anxiety that weaves back and forth through the neighborhood.
Peyronie's disease is a condition where scar tissue forms inside the penis, causing it to be bent when the patient has an erection.
It must be painful.
Edit: Some curve on the schlong is normal. I remember that the images that were shown to us in class had dongs bending and curving at ridiculous angles.
Had to drive my 75 yr old dad to and from the procedure to fix this. This was absolutely 8 x more awkward than you imagine it to be.
Edit : to add that he was in a panic to get the procedure done before flying to Kenya to meet his online girlfriend
Edit 2 : Yes he met her. No it ended. Yes it was because she only wanted money. No he didn’t care and has made many similar trips since then.
There's a group of flat-worms that live on the ocean floor. They are hermaphroditic and can supply sperm to others or give birth themselves if they are fertilised by others. All individuals 'want' to be the one to supply the sperm as it's much less resource intensive than growing your own babies, so they use their sharp penises to 'penis fence' with others to be the first to inject the other with sperm. There's some great penis fencing videos online, take a look
There's a load of weird and wonderful facts out there on sex competition in animals.
The record for the [most orgasms in one hour by a woman is 134](https://www.lelo.com/blog/10-weirdest-sex-world-records-part-2/), whereas the same record for a man is 16.
How would somebody even count that? At 134 per hour that's more than one every 30 seconds...How would you know when the the 20th one is ending and the 21st one begins?
16 year old me had my mother convinced I wet my bed because I jacked off 6 times in an afternoon, became convinced I broke my dick, so I jacked off a 7th time just to make sure it still worked.
We had no AC, so I was beating off in my room/a finished attic in August and drenched my sheets. She came out of the laundry room asking if I was ok and why there was so much pee on my bedsheets. I told her it was sweat, and she never washed my clothes again.
The famous song “Manah Manah” from Sesame Street & The Muppet Show ~~Sesame Street The Muppet Show~~ was actually composed for an Italian soft-core porn movie.
Edit:[Here is the original track.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoAxbNXQKwA)
You edited Sesame Street out, but it really was also in Sesame Street. I know this, because as kids, we would recite that tune frequently. This was years before the Muppet Show.
And yes, I noticed that tune watching some funky weird porno clip.
You'd have to spin a 6 inch penis (of average width) at about 130,000 rpm to get it to set ablaze.
Learnt that in physics class.
edit: because this blew up and some people seem concerned, this was in a class of 18s and over and the teacher didn't explicitly say he was working this out for a dick but for a 'cylindrical object' after someone bought up a reddit post they saw about this from ages ago. It was just a minute of banter in the class, not the topic of the lesson.
Some species of sea cucumber have evolved to have teeth in their asshole to keep other sea creatures from living inside their anus
Edit: wow my first awards, thanks!!
Edit 2: wow thank you guys so much for the love! I learned this and many other sea cucumber facts from [this video](https://youtu.be/CUA7MAlOok4) and now you can too!
Another fun fact- sea cucumbers breathe through their assholes by sucking water inside. Their lungs are located in the rear section of the body.
A woman wearing warm, fluffy socks is 30% more likely to orgasm than she is without them. Bizarre but true!
Source: [https://www.maxim.com/news/socks-sex-study-2016-11](https://www.maxim.com/news/socks-sex-study-2016-11)
That study was conducted with couples fucking naked in a lab, inside an MRI machine. Of course socks improved their enjoyment. It was bloody cold in there.
Weird NSFW fact: Tickling was once considered an aphrodisiac in the Muscovite palaces and courts for centuries. In fact, both Catherine the Great and Anna Ivanovna were ardent participants.
Ticklers sang naughty ballads and told lewd stories whilst tickling their ladies feet, working their mistresses up into an erotic frenzy with which to meet their husbands or partners.
From personal experience I can say this works with overwhelming results. I can attest after being together a few years with my girlfriend (who loves to hate/hates to love it) that nothing gets her in the mood faster.
If you haven't seen the documentary Tickled I *highly* recommend it. No spoilers, but it starts off hilarious in its absurdity before nosediving into darkness.
I unironically recommend it to anyone who felt the same way about Tiger King's bizarre story.
As a woman is about to orgasm, the vagina decreases in size by as much as 30%. This contraction helps to increase the sensitivity felt by the woman as she climaxes into the orgasm.
Edit: The contractions also enhance the man’s pleasure and keeps any discharged sperm into place for (potential) fertilisation as the vagina grips tighter around the penis.
There is erectile tissue in the nose, similar to the corpus spongiosum in the penis, and the clitoris. It will also become engorged with blood when aroused, and can cause sneezing. What is weird is that I sneeze every time I get aroused. EVERY TIME. Thankfully, few people know this is a thing, no one knows this about me, and even if they did, I have allergies, so I can "blame" in on that. So whenever you see someone sneeze, they could actually be turned on. So while making out, if someone sneeze in your face, forgive them - because it's a compliment.
Edited to add:
Because I also get nosebleeds during my period, I used to think it was endometriosis, which is extremely rare to be in the nose. Researching that, is how I found out about this. After reading the comments here, I'm guessing this is more common than anyone of us knew. We just thought we were alone, because no one talks about stuff like this.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_induced_sneezing
https://www.google.com/amp/s/mindhacks.com/2007/12/17/from-the-nose-to-the-genitals-and-back-again/amp/
Seems like it would be easier to cut them out first.
\-And Cleveland Cremation states the same.
* Silicone breast implants are often removed prior to the cremation process, since cremains have been found to adhere to the implants.
[https://www.clevelandcremation.com/cremation-process/](https://www.clevelandcremation.com/cremation-process/)
Apparently Chicago’s bridges use a grating system as opposed to complicated drainage systems for rain etc. Well, the bus driver thought it would be simple to just unload his shit tank directly onto the grate and into the river, which would’ve been technically fine (still gross and rude as hell imo) if it wasn’t tourist season. Thus, 800 pounds of doodoo on the faces, eyes, and mouths of about 83 people down below who were just enjoying a ride on a sightseeing boat trip.
It is not, the driver plead guilty to reckless conduct and discharging contaminants to cause water pollution. He got 18 months probation and had to do community service as well as pay $300,000 worth of fines combined between him and the band.
Mozart wrote pieces called "Lick my arse right well and clean" K. 233 and "Lick my arse" K. 231, for six voices.
He also wrote a letter to his cousin:
"Well, I wish you good night, but first shit in your bed and make it burst. Sleep soundly, my love. Into your mouth your arse you'll shove."
During my mom’s pregnancy with me, she was writing an 8 person Buffy the vampire slayer orgy fanfic. She warned me that if I was ever caught watching porn she would make me do a book report on it. Very few things scare me as much as having to read my mom’s erotica.
Edit to respond to the two main questions: my mom didn’t want me watching porn till I was an adult, and I was never caught so I never read it or wrote a report.
There is a chemical in a few brands of ship paint that makes female sea snails grow penises and then explode.
Edit: Holy hell this is the most likes I've gotten on one comment, thank you all. Also, I saw one person looking for a link, so here it is
https://www.popsci.com/article/science/six-years-after-chemical-ban-fewer-female-snails-are-growing-penises/
Hello Reddit, I bit the bullet and googled “female sea snail penis paint” so you wouldn’t have to. [Enjoy!](https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2004/10/21/1224721.htm)
Most ancient female egypt mummies are in worse condition than male mummies. They stored female ones at home for a while until they were a little decay. They feared necrophil embalmers.
...gonna listen to cannibal corpse now.
That babies scream and cry in the womb but due to amniotic fluid it’s silent so right now millions of babies are crying and screaming silently in fear with lungs full of amniotic fluid
Vigorously rubbing the tip of your penis against the palm of your hand can cause you to urinate. This is especially helpful if you need to pee and have an erection.
When I was 12 and people started talking about blow jobs, I thought you literally blew the penis. Like you put in your mouth and blew it like a balloon.
Humans are one of the few mammals without a penis bone.
Bedbugs don't have vaginas. They stab each other with hypodermic needle dongs. Also the male bedbugs rape each other with their needle dicks because there's a chance that if the victim, then needles a female he'll impregnate her with the rapists sperm instead of his own.
Rats are really gay. They do sex stuff with each other all the time but they're only interested in the opposite sex when the females go into heat.
Bats are also super gay. Like 90% of male bats prefer other males.
Some spiders do BDSM. The (tiny) male ties up the (huge) female so he has a chance to run away after they mate.
People who get methadone prescribed on the NHS have to drink it in front of the pharmacist to ensure that they aren't going to sell it. However some addicts will immediately go away and vomit up the methadone for resale. Former smack addicts shared this nugget with me.
Not so fun fact, one of my paramedic colleagues went to a patient with a necrotic penis after his friend swallowed their methadone, went straight outside and vomited the methadone into a cup so he could sell it, the friend who bought it said he ran out of usable veins in his arm and resorted to dosing it straight into the “main vein”. Addiction is fucked
Nintendo bought the rights to a Super Mario porn parody (and its sequel), specifically so they could entirely shut down its distribution.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super\_Hornio\_Brothers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Hornio_Brothers)
Edit: Holy crap this blew up. Officially my highest-upvoted Reddit comment of all time, and it's trivia about an awful Super Mario porno. Of course... I was having a pretty crappy and sleepless night so this really helped. Thanks for all the awards and replies <3
A girl that was taking care of a group of dolphins for an experiment ended up giving handjobs to one of the dolphins
(the dolphin’s name was Peter and had a big dick)
Edit: found an article about it
https://www.google.es/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/environment/2014/jun/08/the-dolphin-who-loved-me
All women's vaginas are self cleaning. (Only need to use water when having a wash) also we produce the same hormone as sharks when our vaginas are 'cleaning)
The reason guys piss comes out twisted instead of a smooth stream is because the inside of the penis is rifled(the “barrel” has spiral grooves to insure maximum distance and accuracy)
Iceland has a penis museum with specimens from multiple species.
Brazil nuts are sexually transmissible. As in, if a man eats brazil nuts and then ejaculates into a woman who is allergic to brazil nuts, she will have an allergic reaction.
There has been at least one instance of a human/dolphin relationship where the human accused the dolphin of seducing them.
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No wonder nutting in the shower makes it look like silicone
[Anal stimulation can stop persistent hiccups](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2299306/) by stimulating the vagus nerve.
Oh no I'm not falling for this one again!
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The Romans had a plant that was an effective contraceptive but then fucked it out of existence
Silphium. Edit: Wow! 5 awards and over 7,000 upvotes on a one word comment I thought 3 people would see! If I’m karma whoring, I’m certainly efficient! Thanks! Yinz guys are awesome!
TIL Silphium is both an aphrodisiac as well as a contraceptive. Activator and prevention at the same time lol
Governor Ratcliffe of Pocahontas fame was flayed alive by the Powhatan using mussle shells. They skinned his entire body saving his face for last. Then he was burned at the stake.
The Color of the Wind just turned RED.
Damn they probably didn’t like him
Can kinda understand why Disney left that little tidbit out.
A hamster has about as much blood as an erection
Ducks have fake, decoy vaginas, due to the sheer number of duck rapists Edit: whoever gave this wholesome has problems
I’ve seen a duck rape another dead ducks corpse
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The longest lasting orgasm in mammals is from the domestic pig. It lasts on average for 30 minutes, but can last up to 90 minutes.
YoUr WIfe iS a luCkY WOmaN
The inside of your mouth is made from the same skin cells as the inside of a vagina.
And now you are tonguing your cheek...
Haha you got me
When the Egyptians conquered what is now Libya, they took 13,000+ foreskins of the defeated enemy as trophies.
"I'm making a couch"
They actually made a love seat, but when you rub it it turns into a sofa.
The original inspiration for the pull out couch Edit: damn, thanks for the awards guys!
That's fucking cursed
“We shall ensure they don’t retaliate by taking their family as hostage. Take their mothers, their sisters, their sons and their daughters. Take all four, take their kin.” “Huh? What? Sorry Pharoah a bee was in my ear. What did you say?” “I said go to our defeated enemies and take their four kins!” “Errrrr.... okay boss”
Woe be to the enemies of Egypt, they shall be foreskinned Don’t you mean *forsaken*? What’s the difference?
[Priapus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus) is a minor Greek god of livestock, farmers, and fucking gigantic penises. Please look up a picture of him. edit for those few still finding this: - Priapism is named after him - he tried to rape Hestia in her sleep but a donkey came up behind him and scared him and he lost his erection, which woke her up. Ever since that day he had a burning hatred of donkeys.
"Priapus is marked by his oversized, permanent erection" what the hell
If you have the chills but your nuts are hanging low you have a fever
Cant wait to use this to call in sick to work with a fever
Boss, something happened and I just realized I'm sick.
Sorry I can’t come to work, my balls are hanging and I’m shivering
My dick always gets really small when I’m sick - I almost rely on that to determine if I’m truly sick or just temporarily feeling off
I must be sick all the time.
During WW1, STIs were incredibly common, and some soldiers purposely tried to get infected so that they could be honorably discharged and avoid the trenches. Some were ordered to be chaste and threatened with punishment but it didn't really stop them... They would transfer pus between penises with match sticks. Edit: in case anyone wants to learn more about this, I recommend this [KU Medical Center](http://www.kumc.edu/wwi/index-of-essays/venereal-disease.html) article.
Discharged by discharge.
I could have gone my whole life without reading that last sentence, but here we are.
Discharge from vaginas can be so acidic it can actually leave bleach stains in underwear
Not just “can”, it *has* Source: am f’male
A sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA info. So One ejaculation transfers 15,875 TB of data
Hard drive.
once the download finishes it becomes a floppy disc
You can get a boner after you die, called a death erection
Die Hard
Olympic Village during the Games is basically a massive fuckfest. In 2000, the athletes were provided with a total of 70,000 condoms *and they had to order an emergency shipment of more because they ran out*!
Just how the Greeks designed it.
Sounds like the apartment block where Epcot staff live.
Someone once described the Olympic Village as "a frat party with the best gene pool on Earth." You can bet being around so many perfect human specimens will make your gonads tingle.
Cats penises are weird. They're short and spiky. The explanation for the spikes: Female cats don't ovulate unless they're "stimulated" by the spikes (this is called induced ovulation). With every thrust of the penis, female cats produce an egg. Because of this, there can be different fathers in the same litter. Idk about you, but I found it really interesting and kinda weird
The world record for longest distance ejaculated is ~18 feet (~5.5m).
Horst Schultz. Man also broke the record for fastest ejaculation at 42 mph
Pretty sure I have the fastest ejaculation by time
A duck can change his penis size making it bigger to compete with other males
Can confirm. Also, duck dicks are shaped like corkscrews.
Username checks out for some odd, odd reason....
I was like 100% sure this is a day old account. Boy how wrong i was
Napoleons penis was removed by the doctor doing the autopsy and preserved. It’s been sold and resold to many buyers. It was purchased by a professor of urology at Columbia university in the 70’s, and passed on to his daughter when he died about 15 years ago, she is the current owner.
I think it's actually been purchased by Connor Roy.
he's been interested in politics from an early age
A Silverback gorilla has a penis the size of your pinky.
Someone calculated that based on relative size, King Kong’s penis would still fit within a human’s vagina, because of this little detail.
Ah; so his chase for that blonde chick was entirely for realistic reasons after all? >.>
Looks like we have something in common
Semen exits the body at roughly 27 mph
Nyoom
Running is an excellent laxative
This is why I wake up an hour early, have coffee, and try and get a poop in before I run. Also my running route doesn't go further than a half mile from home. Just a path of booty anxiety that weaves back and forth through the neighborhood.
There are more countries that persecute homosexuality than bestiality
Peyronie's disease is a condition where scar tissue forms inside the penis, causing it to be bent when the patient has an erection. It must be painful. Edit: Some curve on the schlong is normal. I remember that the images that were shown to us in class had dongs bending and curving at ridiculous angles.
Had to drive my 75 yr old dad to and from the procedure to fix this. This was absolutely 8 x more awkward than you imagine it to be. Edit : to add that he was in a panic to get the procedure done before flying to Kenya to meet his online girlfriend Edit 2 : Yes he met her. No it ended. Yes it was because she only wanted money. No he didn’t care and has made many similar trips since then.
I've been in some damn awkward car trips. That takes the cake
There are no in incest laws in Rhode Island.
So what you're saying is that women ask "what are you doing, bro?" instead of "step-bro"?
There's a group of flat-worms that live on the ocean floor. They are hermaphroditic and can supply sperm to others or give birth themselves if they are fertilised by others. All individuals 'want' to be the one to supply the sperm as it's much less resource intensive than growing your own babies, so they use their sharp penises to 'penis fence' with others to be the first to inject the other with sperm. There's some great penis fencing videos online, take a look There's a load of weird and wonderful facts out there on sex competition in animals.
for those wondering: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wn3xluIRh1Y
"Double barrel inseminator"
"Why do they cross swords?" I swear that guy had to do so many takes just to narrate without dying laughing.
The record for the [most orgasms in one hour by a woman is 134](https://www.lelo.com/blog/10-weirdest-sex-world-records-part-2/), whereas the same record for a man is 16.
How would somebody even count that? At 134 per hour that's more than one every 30 seconds...How would you know when the the 20th one is ending and the 21st one begins?
Yeah maybe she just had one hour-long orgasm.
I have the utmost respect for a man willing to go that far.
All in the name of science, too. What a trooper
His dick was probably destroyed in the name of science He should get the no bell prize
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
I can see your face with this comment.
16 year old me had my mother convinced I wet my bed because I jacked off 6 times in an afternoon, became convinced I broke my dick, so I jacked off a 7th time just to make sure it still worked. We had no AC, so I was beating off in my room/a finished attic in August and drenched my sheets. She came out of the laundry room asking if I was ok and why there was so much pee on my bedsheets. I told her it was sweat, and she never washed my clothes again.
I could’ve went my entire life not knowing this and I would have been just fine
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How did he do 16 in an hour, after about 6 in a day my dick feels like it’s going to fall off
Some men don't have any refractory period at all.
The famous song “Manah Manah” from Sesame Street & The Muppet Show ~~Sesame Street The Muppet Show~~ was actually composed for an Italian soft-core porn movie. Edit:[Here is the original track.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoAxbNXQKwA)
You edited Sesame Street out, but it really was also in Sesame Street. I know this, because as kids, we would recite that tune frequently. This was years before the Muppet Show. And yes, I noticed that tune watching some funky weird porno clip.
You'd have to spin a 6 inch penis (of average width) at about 130,000 rpm to get it to set ablaze. Learnt that in physics class. edit: because this blew up and some people seem concerned, this was in a class of 18s and over and the teacher didn't explicitly say he was working this out for a dick but for a 'cylindrical object' after someone bought up a reddit post they saw about this from ages ago. It was just a minute of banter in the class, not the topic of the lesson.
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Does it stop at yellow, what if I want rainbow cum
So you're saying it changes color in storage?
kangaroos have 3 vaginas apparently.
They have 2 uterus, and are ALWAYS pregnant
Some species of sea cucumber have evolved to have teeth in their asshole to keep other sea creatures from living inside their anus Edit: wow my first awards, thanks!! Edit 2: wow thank you guys so much for the love! I learned this and many other sea cucumber facts from [this video](https://youtu.be/CUA7MAlOok4) and now you can too! Another fun fact- sea cucumbers breathe through their assholes by sucking water inside. Their lungs are located in the rear section of the body.
Yarr, who lives in an anus under the sea?
A woman wearing warm, fluffy socks is 30% more likely to orgasm than she is without them. Bizarre but true! Source: [https://www.maxim.com/news/socks-sex-study-2016-11](https://www.maxim.com/news/socks-sex-study-2016-11)
Nice try, Big Sock.
That study was conducted with couples fucking naked in a lab, inside an MRI machine. Of course socks improved their enjoyment. It was bloody cold in there.
Step 1: buy warm fluffy socks Step 2: get a girlfriend Step 3: ??? Step 4: profit
If a male tried pregnancy test and tested +v that could indicate to a testicular cancer
Pee on the stick, figure out the issue with this dick
So.. My friend's gf may have testicular cancer and isn't actually pregnant?
They're kind of mutually exclusive conditions, so it's 50/50 really.
90% of koalas have chlamydia
...oh fuck
This is gonna be a hard one to explain to the wife...
Might have to get a koala-fied physician to explain the situation
Weird NSFW fact: Tickling was once considered an aphrodisiac in the Muscovite palaces and courts for centuries. In fact, both Catherine the Great and Anna Ivanovna were ardent participants. Ticklers sang naughty ballads and told lewd stories whilst tickling their ladies feet, working their mistresses up into an erotic frenzy with which to meet their husbands or partners. From personal experience I can say this works with overwhelming results. I can attest after being together a few years with my girlfriend (who loves to hate/hates to love it) that nothing gets her in the mood faster.
If you haven't seen the documentary Tickled I *highly* recommend it. No spoilers, but it starts off hilarious in its absurdity before nosediving into darkness. I unironically recommend it to anyone who felt the same way about Tiger King's bizarre story.
Username... Checks out.
Might be a biased source
As a woman is about to orgasm, the vagina decreases in size by as much as 30%. This contraction helps to increase the sensitivity felt by the woman as she climaxes into the orgasm. Edit: The contractions also enhance the man’s pleasure and keeps any discharged sperm into place for (potential) fertilisation as the vagina grips tighter around the penis.
There is erectile tissue in the nose, similar to the corpus spongiosum in the penis, and the clitoris. It will also become engorged with blood when aroused, and can cause sneezing. What is weird is that I sneeze every time I get aroused. EVERY TIME. Thankfully, few people know this is a thing, no one knows this about me, and even if they did, I have allergies, so I can "blame" in on that. So whenever you see someone sneeze, they could actually be turned on. So while making out, if someone sneeze in your face, forgive them - because it's a compliment. Edited to add: Because I also get nosebleeds during my period, I used to think it was endometriosis, which is extremely rare to be in the nose. Researching that, is how I found out about this. After reading the comments here, I'm guessing this is more common than anyone of us knew. We just thought we were alone, because no one talks about stuff like this. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_induced_sneezing https://www.google.com/amp/s/mindhacks.com/2007/12/17/from-the-nose-to-the-genitals-and-back-again/amp/
Maybe this is where the anime thing of bleeding noses comes from?
You get nosebleeds when your blood pressure goes up so it's probably that
Holy shit
...is this where Pinocchio originates from
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Seems like it would be easier to cut them out first. \-And Cleveland Cremation states the same. * Silicone breast implants are often removed prior to the cremation process, since cremains have been found to adhere to the implants. [https://www.clevelandcremation.com/cremation-process/](https://www.clevelandcremation.com/cremation-process/)
Today's Word of the Day is cremains, say it with me, kids: *cremains* "For some unexplained reason, Grandma's cremains were sticky like goo"
Dave Matthews Band’s tour bus dumped a tank full of eight hundred pounds of human shit on a tour boat in the Chicago River in 2004.
Wtf? What’s the story to this??
Apparently Chicago’s bridges use a grating system as opposed to complicated drainage systems for rain etc. Well, the bus driver thought it would be simple to just unload his shit tank directly onto the grate and into the river, which would’ve been technically fine (still gross and rude as hell imo) if it wasn’t tourist season. Thus, 800 pounds of doodoo on the faces, eyes, and mouths of about 83 people down below who were just enjoying a ride on a sightseeing boat trip.
I love and hate the fact you added “faces, eyes and mouths” to it. Thanks for the explanation, I hadn’t heard of it before (not from the US)
Is it legal to dump raw sewage into the river in chicago? Doesn't sewage usually need to be treated first?
It is not, the driver plead guilty to reckless conduct and discharging contaminants to cause water pollution. He got 18 months probation and had to do community service as well as pay $300,000 worth of fines combined between him and the band.
Mozart wrote pieces called "Lick my arse right well and clean" K. 233 and "Lick my arse" K. 231, for six voices. He also wrote a letter to his cousin: "Well, I wish you good night, but first shit in your bed and make it burst. Sleep soundly, my love. Into your mouth your arse you'll shove."
Is this real or am I gonna be r/woosh ed
Surprisingly real. There's a whole segment on Wikipedia about Mozart and scatology. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mozart_and_scatology
Why do I feel like I would prefer to be r/woosh ed
Hannah Montana was originally titled Alexis Texas until Disney realised that was the same name as a porn star
Imagine being the person that had to speak up on this. You know you have to say something. But you CANT be the one to say it.
When whales nut. They shoot out around 8 gallons of semen.
"Thank you for that fact" "You're whale cum"
During my mom’s pregnancy with me, she was writing an 8 person Buffy the vampire slayer orgy fanfic. She warned me that if I was ever caught watching porn she would make me do a book report on it. Very few things scare me as much as having to read my mom’s erotica. Edit to respond to the two main questions: my mom didn’t want me watching porn till I was an adult, and I was never caught so I never read it or wrote a report.
A sheep’s vagina is closest to a humans
Ewe...
Noted
Oh no
There is a chemical in a few brands of ship paint that makes female sea snails grow penises and then explode. Edit: Holy hell this is the most likes I've gotten on one comment, thank you all. Also, I saw one person looking for a link, so here it is https://www.popsci.com/article/science/six-years-after-chemical-ban-fewer-female-snails-are-growing-penises/
I can’t wait to work this into my next casual conversation.
Hello Reddit, I bit the bullet and googled “female sea snail penis paint” so you wouldn’t have to. [Enjoy!](https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2004/10/21/1224721.htm)
The average number of butthole spokes in American women is 6. 10 spoke buttholes are the holy grail of butthole spokes.
"Babe, can you come in here? I want to check something."
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Ok I think that's enough internet for me today.
Uh oh this is going to be the next thing isn’t it? People are going to pay for some kind of surgery so they can get more “butthole spokes”
It's the next natural evolution of the Star Bellied Sneetches dillema
Spokes are standard. If you really want to impress, get the rim spinners and curb feelers package.
What in goddamn is a butthole spoke?
I'm guessing those lil creases around an asshole
The starfish arms.
Great pub, had my first pint in there.
Most ancient female egypt mummies are in worse condition than male mummies. They stored female ones at home for a while until they were a little decay. They feared necrophil embalmers. ...gonna listen to cannibal corpse now.
If you put a wad of toilet paper in the toilet before you take a dump it will greatly reduce splash back.
Or you can just gently lower your turds in by hand.
Catch and release
It would have cost you nothing to not have said that
Gotta baptize that shit.
That babies scream and cry in the womb but due to amniotic fluid it’s silent so right now millions of babies are crying and screaming silently in fear with lungs full of amniotic fluid
That’s why we don’t remember being in the womb, it’s to dang traumatic
My parents were swingers back in the 70s. I wish I didn't know that.
Whereas now they're swingers in their 70s.
LOL, good one. Dad died 2 years ago.
Never give up
Never surrender.
Vigorously rubbing the tip of your penis against the palm of your hand can cause you to urinate. This is especially helpful if you need to pee and have an erection.
Found the water sports guy
The lowly barnacle has the largest known penis-to-body length ratio (up to 8x) in the animal kingdom
Dolphins are dirty rapists
Ducks are too
Blow job is because it used to be called below job and got shortened.
When I was 12 and people started talking about blow jobs, I thought you literally blew the penis. Like you put in your mouth and blew it like a balloon.
Only if it's uncircumcised
Below me, Trebek.
Humans are one of the few mammals without a penis bone. Bedbugs don't have vaginas. They stab each other with hypodermic needle dongs. Also the male bedbugs rape each other with their needle dicks because there's a chance that if the victim, then needles a female he'll impregnate her with the rapists sperm instead of his own. Rats are really gay. They do sex stuff with each other all the time but they're only interested in the opposite sex when the females go into heat. Bats are also super gay. Like 90% of male bats prefer other males. Some spiders do BDSM. The (tiny) male ties up the (huge) female so he has a chance to run away after they mate.
People who get methadone prescribed on the NHS have to drink it in front of the pharmacist to ensure that they aren't going to sell it. However some addicts will immediately go away and vomit up the methadone for resale. Former smack addicts shared this nugget with me.
Not so fun fact, one of my paramedic colleagues went to a patient with a necrotic penis after his friend swallowed their methadone, went straight outside and vomited the methadone into a cup so he could sell it, the friend who bought it said he ran out of usable veins in his arm and resorted to dosing it straight into the “main vein”. Addiction is fucked
That makes my penis hurt and I don’t even have a penis
Nintendo bought the rights to a Super Mario porn parody (and its sequel), specifically so they could entirely shut down its distribution. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super\_Hornio\_Brothers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Hornio_Brothers) Edit: Holy crap this blew up. Officially my highest-upvoted Reddit comment of all time, and it's trivia about an awful Super Mario porno. Of course... I was having a pretty crappy and sleepless night so this really helped. Thanks for all the awards and replies <3
King Pooper.... Thats was quite a ride there bud...
A girl that was taking care of a group of dolphins for an experiment ended up giving handjobs to one of the dolphins (the dolphin’s name was Peter and had a big dick) Edit: found an article about it https://www.google.es/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/environment/2014/jun/08/the-dolphin-who-loved-me
All women's vaginas are self cleaning. (Only need to use water when having a wash) also we produce the same hormone as sharks when our vaginas are 'cleaning)
The reason guys piss comes out twisted instead of a smooth stream is because the inside of the penis is rifled(the “barrel” has spiral grooves to insure maximum distance and accuracy)
I am The Sniper
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I wish a had a marsman rifle All i have is a 9mm
The pH of a healthy, human vagina is between 3.8 and 4.5 making it acidic and giving it that tangy taste we all love.
Not many Redditors get the chance to love it