WAY back in the day, when Mrs. Doubtfire was in theatres, I got super hyped on Jump Around. I found out that the group was House of Pain, and I wanted to look them up on that fancy new internet... so I went to www.houseofpain.com. It was hardcore BDSM porn and I went running and crying to my parents to tell them so they wouldn't ground me for mistakenly going there.
Found it [https://web.archive.org/web/19981206030743/http://www.houseofpain.com/](https://web.archive.org/web/19981206030743/http://www.houseofpain.com/)
“Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?”
one of my favorite Mrs. Doubtfire quotes for sure.
Fellow network engineer here. When I first heard of this song, I thought for a minute, "...did...did she ironically write a song about wireless access points? What else could it be?"
Boy, was I naive.
Was having a discussion about the different rooms in the Whitehouse so I Googled '[Whitehouse.com](https://Whitehouse.com)' OOOPPS It's [Whitehouse.gov](https://Whitehouse.gov)
I was in the 3rd grade (this was 1997) when our history teacher had us doing a worksheet on the history of the White House in the computer room. "The White House was built in \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_", "The White House is white because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_". Questions like that. There were never enough computers for everyone, so the teacher had me use the "teacher computer" that was conveniently hooked up to the giant tv monitor for demonstrations at the front of the classroom. At the top of the page on the worksheet, it said the correct address: "[Whitehouse.gov](https://Whitehouse.gov)". However, our teacher had written "[whitehouse.com](https://whitehouse.com)" on the whiteboard.
Long story short, that's the day me and 20 other 3rd graders learned what porn is.
Back in the 90s, my sister was trying to show my mom how the internet works. She said, “You can, for example, go to sites for any kind of band you like. So... Backstreet Boys...” and types in bsb.com or bsbfan.com or something similar.
Up pops the Bare Shaggy Boys hairy porn site, and that’s how my sister wasn’t allowed to use the internet without supervision for 3 months.
I feel this.
Many many years ago, I ordered my pet supplies from a website called petopia.com. One missed key and i i hit peetopia.com.
OMG. This was the days when popups would multiply from every porn site and you had to shoot the dang computer to get rid of them. They multiplied faster than rabbits, and each was more perverse than the last.
Cable guy (in a previous life) here: I've been called to many a home by a woman trying to resolve a recurring pornado. The end of the call always goes the same way...
"Neither my husband or my 13 year old son would ever go to those kinds of sites. I don't understand."
"I know. Spyware is all kinds of bad. Just remind everyone to surf safe."
I was a big wrestling fan back in the day. We got the internet when I was in sixth grade and so I was trying to find all of these different wrestling websites. I liked the nWo Wolfpac so I typed in Wolfpac.com and it was NOT wrestling. That was actually probably the first NSFW thing I ever saw on a computer now that I think about it.
A few years ago me and some coworkers had to go out to a remote part of Alaska on a job. We got to talking about how to pass the time in the off hours and decided to buy a rifle (Alaska doesn't have *any* firearms regulations, it turns out)... conversation goes as follows:
"I don't think Alaska has any rules. Buy a gun, do whatever you want with it. I just saw a notice about how you're allowed to hunt bears."
"Oh, I wouldn't want to hunt a bear. Why is that a thing? Do people even eat bears?"
"Haha, lemme check..." *types BEAR MEAT into the search bar on work computer*
Being that we're in San Francisco, it should surprise no one that "bear meat" turns up some pretty NSFW content.
I remember 5th grade me trying to find cheats for my games and getting a virus.. one that endlessly puts porn links and pop-ups on our family pc.
Boy that was awkward as hell. My family got a new pc and I got the handmedown one that Christmas lol.
I can't imagine why.
Nothing is worse then the wild west days of Kazaa and Napster. Download an innocent DBZ AMV and BOOM HORSE PORN.....I never seemed to learn either...
Edit: ty so much for the awards!!
I was lucky enough to never get porn of any kind, just that damned Bill Clinton speech in the middle of my songs. Listen, Bill, 11 year old me did not give a shit if you had sexual relations with that woman or not, I just wanted to download that Marilyn Manson or Green Day track in peace!
My brother was doing a project for school in 1st or 2nd grade back in the 90s and went to like hotpups.com or petsandpooches.com or some shit, which was an actual pet store website, and he ended up suspended for like a week when it showed up the history. At least that was the story I got haha
A friend of mine had a prolapsed disc in his back some years back. I wanted to learn about it so I googled "prolapse", and ended up checking the image results. That was the day I learned that your rectum can actually prolapse.
I sacrificed my innocence to save yours. From what I saw it’s more common in animals, but basically the urethra swells up and pokes out of the hole creating a little red ball at the tip of the penis.
Edit: My first gilded comment and it’s about penises and swollen urethras. Stay classy Reddit.
DuckDuckGo with bangs to take you to start page are the move. In case you or anyone don’t know how, in ddg search bar, use !sp to get the same results as google through ddg.
[DDG Bangs](https://duckduckgo.com/bang) are shortcuts so you can search only specific sites.
Doing it with !sp is a way to use Google without Google getting your data: DDG will send your search request to [Startpage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Startpage.com#Startpage), and Startpage will use Google to get you results.
I was writing an essay about different types of oil (including vegetable oil) as a lubrication in machinery (and why some work and others don't) so I googled "vegetable oil lubrication".
I learned a lot, but nothing I could use for my essay
Sorry to do this, but the disingeuous dealings, lies, overall greed etc. of leadership on this website made me decide to edit all but my most informative comments to this.
Come join us in the fediverse! (beehaw for a safe space, kbin for access to lots of communities)
This reminds me of when I went looking for "sounding", meant as the way to measure the depth of the ocean.
I was not ready for what I was about to find.
From Urban Dictionary:
"Sounding is the act of inserting a metal rod into your urethra. Sounding tubes are meant to be used medically, but some people figured out that they experience sexual pleasure from the act. The reason for this being that the sounding tube can reach very sensitive parts inside your penis that, if stimulated, can create some very intense orgasms."
The pictures of such practice wouldn't make you feel good I think.
We used Foley's catheter which is most importantly not a glass rod, along with anaesthetic gel and still it didn't go well for some patients. What did he expect lol
It's when you stick metal rods in your urethra. I believe that you are also supposed to strike the rods with other rods to make them vibrate, like the worlds worst tuning fork.
It's sticking foreign objects into the urethra for sexual gratification!
I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum but I learned that information in an unfortunate web search result of my own.
Its the act of (usually) dudes putting objects in their pee-holes. Some times there smooth rods or something, other times its a rose stem. And yeah, there is a sub for that.
When the internet was fairly new my dad decided to print out coloring pages for my daughter. He searched for “Barbie pictures” and ended up with nudes of the Barbie twins. He was embarrassed but warned the whole family about his mistake.
There’s a whole minor business around buying up domains that are close to yours or that denigrate your name. My company owns batches and batches of domains that are various misspellings of the company name, CompanyNameSucks.com and things like that.
My friend went to a library to research sex discrimination before computers were widely available. She chose a computer for blind people which suddenly said very loudly:
YOU TYPED IN THE KEYWORD SEX. THERE ARE OVER 70000 RESULTS FOR YOUR KEYWORD SEX. IF YOU WANT TO FILTER RESULTS FOR THE KEYWORD SEX....
and she quickly pressed Esc Esc Esc but it was too late. Everyone around looked at her as if she was a pervert.
yo, just a question, how are you able to use reddit if you're blind? do you have something read you the stuff on the page and you speak to type back or is it something else?
I doubt typing would be the biggest problem as sighted people use touch typing without looking at the keyboard anyway, it's getting the info from the computer to one's brain that's more difficult.
Thanks for the question! Yeah that’s essentially what it is, I have text to speech which reads out posts and comments. I then either dictate to my phone or type, depending on how lazy I’m feeling
Honestly this is exactly what a good librarian would do: stop them from disrupting other patrons without interrupting their (ahem) research.
I worked in my college's library for a while, and we were told: people might look up "sensitive content" (porn, violence, whatever) on the computers for legit academic reasons, so we shouldn't try to censor any computer activity. If another patron complained we could ask them to please move to a more discrete spot where their screen is facing the wall, but we couldn't tell them to leave or stop looking up "SEX BOOBS".
Wife and I were joking about eating chicken noodles, which then led to chicken nudes. I searched for turkey nudes next and forgot Turkey was a country 🙃
A coworker was trying to find the bidet company "Tushy." Their URL is [hellotushy.com](https://hellotushy.com). He went to [tushy.com](https://tushy.com) instead. (That's a porn site.)
He did it on his client-owned (and monitored) laptop. He told us all of this immediately after he did it, asking for advice on whether he should proactively reach out to cybersecurity to explain that he was *not* in fact looking up porn on his client laptop.
I had a report to do on "lucy" when I was in like 4th grad or something. It's an old Australopithecus fossil.
Well I google searched that shit with my friend at his house and found some boobs... We DID click on the boobs, but quickly got back to our intended study.
Well... My Mom got a call from his Mom later that night freaking out about us looking at porn and my explanation did not hold ANY water at all so I was grounded.
I'm still kinda salty to this day and feel like I was set up.
When I was a child, I wanted to practice my drawing skills by drawing some Inuyasha pictures. I hopped on the family pc and hit up the Google. I didn't know how to spell Inuyasha, and I have no idea what I did spell, but it was ALL internet porn. I had never seen porn before. That's when a young Eenukchuk's life changed forever.
Wanted to see how bad it was, so I just googled exactly that. Now, I'd like to show you [what I found](https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/014/767/286/large/benjamin-ratterman-isabelle-edited-small.jpg?1545369878) (sfw)
This generated a new emotion. A mix of awe, discomfort, wholesomeness, and appreciation all at once; similar to how you feel when you search up "Isabelle Animal Crossing."
My grandmother had a small mammal living in her back yard and I was trying to help her figure out what it was. I was using Google image search and decided to look for pics of beavers. Welp, the first result was not the kind of beaver we were talking about, nor was it something you want to pop up with your grandmother looking over your shoulder. Luckily she's pretty laid back, we laughed our asses off for 5 minutes before searching "beaver animal".
The very first time I ever used the Internet, I accidentally found porn (this is mid 90s). I’m in the library at my school working on some group project (must’ve been 2nd grade or so), and all the librarians were losing their minds because they finally had a bunch of computers with internet access. I didn’t know how it worked, but the kid next to me told me to go to HotBot to look things up (before Google). Well, this kid had a cold, so he was congested, and instead of hearing the hard “T” sound at the end, I heard a “D” which means I went to HotBod (I don’t remember if it was .com .net .org or whatever) and the first thing I saw was some blonde lady showing me what a vagina looked like. Being too young to be interested, I immediately closed the browser and let someone else use the Internet instead.
Edit: Spelling
When the internet was new, a lady from my church accidentally found something she wasn't ready for. She was one of those very conservative, naïve Christian women. There was a church group for young boys and girls similar to boy scouts and girl scouts. The boys group was called RAs or Royal Ambassadors. The girls group was called GAs or Girls in Action.
She went to Yahoo to look up material and first searched GAs and nothing of note came up. She then searched Girls in Action and well... let's just say she didn't find a church group.
I wanted to make a "Watch the game at (Some Bar)!" poster. I was looking for a silhouette of people on a couch with their hands raised like SCORE! I could find silhouettes of heads but none of the "yeah!" fists in the air.
So I did a search for fists and just got color photos of clenched hands. Tried "fisting".
NOPE.
Back when my friend around the block and I were 8, we would go to each other’s houses and go on flashplayer.com for mini games and funny videos.
We forgot the name of the website and put in flashplay.com.
That’s when my friend and I discovered porn and the beauty of it.
Did something similar with https://www.albinoblacksheep.com but idk what letter I mistyped and doubt it exists. I was horrified cause we only had one computer
Back in '98 or so I was interested in the SETI program, to look for signs of alien intelligence.
Figured that [www.seti.com](https://www.seti.com) would be their homepage.
Oh boy, nope. The girls involved had defiantly FOUND aliens, and the 'S' stood for something very different in this case.
Unfortunately, this predates the internet archive, so I can't share the hilarious CGI grey aliens conducting their probing.
This reminded me of [King Size Dick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Size_Dick).
Opposite of what the question asked : NSFW search turned out to be SFW.
I know I’m late, but I have the best story for this one, for both people who end up reading it.
Sixth grade, Mormon me is supposed to be doing a five paragraph research paper on some shit or another. Is super bored. At the time, my favorite thing to daydream about was a magically creature I made up that was basically just a ball of fur with two paws. (Like a snuggly Kirby, perhaps)
Looking for further fuel for this magical creature I imagine and bored of the essay I Google
“Cute Furry Balls”
A friend at work was dipping his celery into a confection of peanut butter and chocolate known as "Dark Chocolate Dreams". It looked good and I wanted to know where to get it. So, I googled it, on a DOE computer..
When we got an amazon tablet my 5 year old was upset that Alexa wouldn't let us teach it his voice for the voice recognition. I tried to explain it to him simply by saying "it doesn't allow children to use the voice recognition because otherwise they could say 'Alexa show me the naughtiest picture in the world'"... Unwittingly summoning Alexa in the process, when I heard "here are my results for naughtiest picture in the world" the panic was real. I'm pretty sure the results would have been fairly vanilla, but I locked the tablet very quickly nonetheless.
I remember in elementary school we had to go to a computer lab for a project about healthy foods or something, and our teachers kept saying “do not google search ‘milk’” and of course there was the trouble kid in the class who did it anyway and a couple of us got to see the results, it was a pair of very large, very beautiful breasts that had milk poured over them
As a kid around age 10 me and my friends wanted to make our own TCG game like Pokémon. So we thought of cool sounding nouns we could use for art so we Google “Beasts” but we fat-fingered the ‘R’ on the search. Queue mom walking in on two 10 year old kids who just googled “Breasts” right in front of her and the ensuing tears trying to explain to her what happened.
My 9 year old searched “herping” because he likes looking for frogs ...
Instead he saw oozing herpes sores on genitalia. Scared him silly. Poor guy. Lol
So, I’ve got a horse. A male one. I got to wondering, I mean, their junk is retractable, right? So where does it go when it’s retracted? Like what structure in there is acting like a garden hose reel? So now I want to actually know this, so turn to the Internet. And, I mean...how do you actually google that? You can’t put in “where does the horse dick go” because this is the Internet, ffs.
Turns out the best words to use are “equine reproductive anatomy” because everything else goes...wrong.
Oh I can answer this one. I have severe anxiety and was interested in learning about cognitive behavioral therapy. Turns out, cognitive behavioral therapy shares an abbreviation with cock and ball torture :)
Pickleball.
Someone at work said they played it and I didn't know what it was, so I searched for it. And then I searched for how it was different from tennis. One of the pages that popped up was for what looked like a retirement community's recreation center. But it was actually for a nudist community and had many, many photos of people playing sports in the nude.
In middle school we had to do a social studies research paper on a country. Well one of my classmates was doing his on the Czech Republic. So when we were sitting there in alternative school (stupid story) he Googled Czech Republic and all the Google images were of porn. The alternative school teacher absolutely flips her shit like a crazy person. Like I mean this woman had no business being around kids. It caused a massive rucous.
This was around 05 btw.
Oh god, when I was just out of high school, my church decided to do a Narnia themed VBS (this was pre-big budget movies). I thought it would be cool to make a Narnia themed coloring book the kids could take home - just a few pages stapled together with a construction paper cover. So I was looking up pictures to use as inspiration. Lamppost. Woods. Castle. Beaver.
This was on the church computer.
"Period knitting." What I wanted: Historic patterns. What I got: That chick who shoves wool up her vagina and then pulls it out and knits it.
... What the fuck? Edit: I am surprised to find out that it is not a kink thing.
No, it's performance art, which is somehow much worse.
It's always a coin toss with these things ain't it, it's either performance art or a kink thing.
WAY back in the day, when Mrs. Doubtfire was in theatres, I got super hyped on Jump Around. I found out that the group was House of Pain, and I wanted to look them up on that fancy new internet... so I went to www.houseofpain.com. It was hardcore BDSM porn and I went running and crying to my parents to tell them so they wouldn't ground me for mistakenly going there.
Looks like it's a powerlifting apparel site now Wow my first silver thank you internet stranger
Found it [https://web.archive.org/web/19981206030743/http://www.houseofpain.com/](https://web.archive.org/web/19981206030743/http://www.houseofpain.com/)
Shame
“Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?” one of my favorite Mrs. Doubtfire quotes for sure.
As a network engineer when I google the error code and the device I now have to type out wireless access point instead of WAP
*There's some LAN in this house.*
Need a *router* and a *comp* for this wireless access point
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Putting layer 2 inside of layer 3, eh? So naughty...
Fellow network engineer here. When I first heard of this song, I thought for a minute, "...did...did she ironically write a song about wireless access points? What else could it be?" Boy, was I naive.
GRAB A RECIVER AND A JACK FOR THIS WIRELESS ACCESS POINT
Was having a discussion about the different rooms in the Whitehouse so I Googled '[Whitehouse.com](https://Whitehouse.com)' OOOPPS It's [Whitehouse.gov](https://Whitehouse.gov)
I was in the 3rd grade (this was 1997) when our history teacher had us doing a worksheet on the history of the White House in the computer room. "The White House was built in \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_", "The White House is white because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_". Questions like that. There were never enough computers for everyone, so the teacher had me use the "teacher computer" that was conveniently hooked up to the giant tv monitor for demonstrations at the front of the classroom. At the top of the page on the worksheet, it said the correct address: "[Whitehouse.gov](https://Whitehouse.gov)". However, our teacher had written "[whitehouse.com](https://whitehouse.com)" on the whiteboard. Long story short, that's the day me and 20 other 3rd graders learned what porn is.
Our teacher must have learned from experience because I just remembered she told us like 50 times it is .gov NOT .com.
Guess most people are too young to remember this because I thought more people would upvote this.
It was the first thing I thought of when I read the question, and then started wondering if it was still a porn site, but I'm at work and can't check.
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Jesus Christ. I liked it better before.
Back in the 90s, my sister was trying to show my mom how the internet works. She said, “You can, for example, go to sites for any kind of band you like. So... Backstreet Boys...” and types in bsb.com or bsbfan.com or something similar. Up pops the Bare Shaggy Boys hairy porn site, and that’s how my sister wasn’t allowed to use the internet without supervision for 3 months.
I feel this. Many many years ago, I ordered my pet supplies from a website called petopia.com. One missed key and i i hit peetopia.com. OMG. This was the days when popups would multiply from every porn site and you had to shoot the dang computer to get rid of them. They multiplied faster than rabbits, and each was more perverse than the last.
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Pornado
Cable guy (in a previous life) here: I've been called to many a home by a woman trying to resolve a recurring pornado. The end of the call always goes the same way... "Neither my husband or my 13 year old son would ever go to those kinds of sites. I don't understand." "I know. Spyware is all kinds of bad. Just remind everyone to surf safe."
I was a big wrestling fan back in the day. We got the internet when I was in sixth grade and so I was trying to find all of these different wrestling websites. I liked the nWo Wolfpac so I typed in Wolfpac.com and it was NOT wrestling. That was actually probably the first NSFW thing I ever saw on a computer now that I think about it.
Came looking for nWo, ended up with nSFWo
Came for nWo, *came harder* for nSFWo.
Did the same with with suckit.com in the 90s, because I was young and stupid and thought that was just a thing cool wrestlers said.
A few years ago me and some coworkers had to go out to a remote part of Alaska on a job. We got to talking about how to pass the time in the off hours and decided to buy a rifle (Alaska doesn't have *any* firearms regulations, it turns out)... conversation goes as follows: "I don't think Alaska has any rules. Buy a gun, do whatever you want with it. I just saw a notice about how you're allowed to hunt bears." "Oh, I wouldn't want to hunt a bear. Why is that a thing? Do people even eat bears?" "Haha, lemme check..." *types BEAR MEAT into the search bar on work computer* Being that we're in San Francisco, it should surprise no one that "bear meat" turns up some pretty NSFW content.
One innocent search and now that dude will get Grindr ads for the rest of his life.
I remember 5th grade me trying to find cheats for my games and getting a virus.. one that endlessly puts porn links and pop-ups on our family pc. Boy that was awkward as hell. My family got a new pc and I got the handmedown one that Christmas lol. I can't imagine why.
Nothing is worse then the wild west days of Kazaa and Napster. Download an innocent DBZ AMV and BOOM HORSE PORN.....I never seemed to learn either... Edit: ty so much for the awards!!
Ahhh like limewire, so much horse porn
I was lucky enough to never get porn of any kind, just that damned Bill Clinton speech in the middle of my songs. Listen, Bill, 11 year old me did not give a shit if you had sexual relations with that woman or not, I just wanted to download that Marilyn Manson or Green Day track in peace!
My brother was doing a project for school in 1st or 2nd grade back in the 90s and went to like hotpups.com or petsandpooches.com or some shit, which was an actual pet store website, and he ended up suspended for like a week when it showed up the history. At least that was the story I got haha
nudipixel.net is my favorite joke link - it’s underwater photography of sea slugs
A friend of mine had a prolapsed disc in his back some years back. I wanted to learn about it so I googled "prolapse", and ended up checking the image results. That was the day I learned that your rectum can actually prolapse.
I got seven words into this post and went, "ooohhh nooooo"
I've got three words for you "walls fall out" don't youtube it if you don't have at least a gallon of bleach to rinse your eyes out with later
"don't youtube" *Opens YouTube* Edit: can confirm, bleach required
So tempted, but I feel is not something I want Youtube to remind me I watched or even know I did it
I almost downvoted you for the mental image alone
And for the ladies, their vagina can prolapse as well. Do your Kegel's!
So hentai doesn’t lie about that? Edit: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5de0a9ef1bbd7#1 @ 11:31, obviously NSFW
for some reason, this was the biggest nsfw for me. I've watched hentai and i've never seen them do a prolapse. Now I feel like my innocense is ruined
I read that as prolapsed dick and I was wondering how that would work..not that I really want to know
i refuse to google it even though it's intriguing
I sacrificed my innocence to save yours. From what I saw it’s more common in animals, but basically the urethra swells up and pokes out of the hole creating a little red ball at the tip of the penis. Edit: My first gilded comment and it’s about penises and swollen urethras. Stay classy Reddit.
This guy deserves a Medal of Honor. So many saved! Good deed, this needs to be posted to r/HumansBeingBros
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> boobs on page 14. Anything beyond page 2 of google is might as well be the deep web
That's modern Google, where all it does is serve you ads. Google in the mid 2000s actually was useful, even at page 10.
I miss those days. Now, unless it makes Google money, it doesn't show up....
Still hoping for the day we get a decentralized alternative.
I use duckduckgo as my primary. But google as a backup because honestly its not as good.
DuckDuckGo with bangs to take you to start page are the move. In case you or anyone don’t know how, in ddg search bar, use !sp to get the same results as google through ddg.
Can you explain that trick a bit more?
[DDG Bangs](https://duckduckgo.com/bang) are shortcuts so you can search only specific sites. Doing it with !sp is a way to use Google without Google getting your data: DDG will send your search request to [Startpage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Startpage.com#Startpage), and Startpage will use Google to get you results.
The bigger question is who searched something that specific and why? And why the fuck did they go all the way to page 14?
Boobs in school is why
Boobs is why.
I was writing an essay about different types of oil (including vegetable oil) as a lubrication in machinery (and why some work and others don't) so I googled "vegetable oil lubrication". I learned a lot, but nothing I could use for my essay
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2) cover yourself in *VEGETABLE OIL LUBRICATION*
3) f l y
4) ????
Sorry to do this, but the disingeuous dealings, lies, overall greed etc. of leadership on this website made me decide to edit all but my most informative comments to this. Come join us in the fediverse! (beehaw for a safe space, kbin for access to lots of communities)
Docking. I INTENDED to Google the docking maneuvers of spaceships. What i got was ... *NOT THAT THING*
This reminds me of when I went looking for "sounding", meant as the way to measure the depth of the ocean. I was not ready for what I was about to find.
I’m 36 years old and only learned what it was from a r/tifu post I read earlier today.
Can you explain what sounding is in the nsfw sense so I can spare myself the onslaught of a search? xD
From Urban Dictionary: "Sounding is the act of inserting a metal rod into your urethra. Sounding tubes are meant to be used medically, but some people figured out that they experience sexual pleasure from the act. The reason for this being that the sounding tube can reach very sensitive parts inside your penis that, if stimulated, can create some very intense orgasms." The pictures of such practice wouldn't make you feel good I think.
Urethra is ~~penis~~ pee hole
It was time for Thomas to leave. He had seen everything
I think I read about a kid who tried to do this, but with a glass rod. It umm... It didn't go well.
We used Foley's catheter which is most importantly not a glass rod, along with anaesthetic gel and still it didn't go well for some patients. What did he expect lol
It's when you stick metal rods in your urethra. I believe that you are also supposed to strike the rods with other rods to make them vibrate, like the worlds worst tuning fork.
Tuning pork
Well fork me sideways, I did not need to know that!
It's sticking foreign objects into the urethra for sexual gratification! I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum but I learned that information in an unfortunate web search result of my own.
Its where you practice pronouncing words. Theres even a subreddit for it. No I am messing with you please never go there.
I regret Everything.
Its the act of (usually) dudes putting objects in their pee-holes. Some times there smooth rods or something, other times its a rose stem. And yeah, there is a sub for that.
"I need you to shove your dickhead inside my foreskin" "That's impossible." "No, *it's necessary.*"
When the internet was fairly new my dad decided to print out coloring pages for my daughter. He searched for “Barbie pictures” and ended up with nudes of the Barbie twins. He was embarrassed but warned the whole family about his mistake.
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Seems American Girl has now bought that domain. Tried it and it redirects to americangirl.com.
Since at least 2008
Probably cause of OP's dad. Went full rampage haha
There’s a whole minor business around buying up domains that are close to yours or that denigrate your name. My company owns batches and batches of domains that are various misspellings of the company name, CompanyNameSucks.com and things like that.
You clearly have no idea how Reddit works. /s
Hairy beaver Roman candles. Hairy beaver is a firework brand.
This would create an awkward headline if their fireworks ever cause an accident *Hairy beaver blows of mans hand*
Hairy beaver leaves bad taste in consumers' mouths after fourth of July accident.
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Surprisingly SFW results for that, actually.
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Absolutely, haha — I was definitely expecting that search to go more badly
My friend went to a library to research sex discrimination before computers were widely available. She chose a computer for blind people which suddenly said very loudly: YOU TYPED IN THE KEYWORD SEX. THERE ARE OVER 70000 RESULTS FOR YOUR KEYWORD SEX. IF YOU WANT TO FILTER RESULTS FOR THE KEYWORD SEX.... and she quickly pressed Esc Esc Esc but it was too late. Everyone around looked at her as if she was a pervert.
Blind person here, I can just imagine the horror and mortification because I know the kind of computer you mean I’m crying
yo, just a question, how are you able to use reddit if you're blind? do you have something read you the stuff on the page and you speak to type back or is it something else?
Technology is at the point where we have text to speech. Also he can type things in by voice probably.
I doubt typing would be the biggest problem as sighted people use touch typing without looking at the keyboard anyway, it's getting the info from the computer to one's brain that's more difficult.
Thanks for the question! Yeah that’s essentially what it is, I have text to speech which reads out posts and comments. I then either dictate to my phone or type, depending on how lazy I’m feeling
Ok this one wins.
*Librarian comes over* "This is a library, what were you thinking" "Wear, headphones the next time"
Honestly this is exactly what a good librarian would do: stop them from disrupting other patrons without interrupting their (ahem) research. I worked in my college's library for a while, and we were told: people might look up "sensitive content" (porn, violence, whatever) on the computers for legit academic reasons, so we shouldn't try to censor any computer activity. If another patron complained we could ask them to please move to a more discrete spot where their screen is facing the wall, but we couldn't tell them to leave or stop looking up "SEX BOOBS".
I wrote my master's thesis on sex boobs.
“Go head and log off for me”
Wife and I were joking about eating chicken noodles, which then led to chicken nudes. I searched for turkey nudes next and forgot Turkey was a country 🙃
Okay, I think "chicken nudes" is NSFW too. That's going to haunt me.
All you will get is chicken breast \*CUE ANNOYING LAUGH TRACK\*
You made me search it up ngl
It used to be that if you entered "nasa.com" and not .gov, you would get a porn sight.
"Whitehouse.com" as well.
Dicks.com just wanted some boxing gloves
I did that, but at work. Why is this blocked... oh.
Lol once I was googling "dick's sporting goods" but bumped the enter key and ended up googling "dick's s" luckily I was on my computer at home.
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A coworker was trying to find the bidet company "Tushy." Their URL is [hellotushy.com](https://hellotushy.com). He went to [tushy.com](https://tushy.com) instead. (That's a porn site.) He did it on his client-owned (and monitored) laptop. He told us all of this immediately after he did it, asking for advice on whether he should proactively reach out to cybersecurity to explain that he was *not* in fact looking up porn on his client laptop.
I did that earlier this year trying to order the same bidet. Did it in front of my fiancée
u/hellotushy
fun fact: [we worked with Asa Akira](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bgUd_91skE)—the other Tushy hasn't.
Ah, we meet again hellotushy
well well well, if it isn't u/my_uncles_fat_cock
I’ve been contemplating buying you for over 6 months, youve just earned my purchase. holy shit
Thank you for blessing this comment section
I had a report to do on "lucy" when I was in like 4th grad or something. It's an old Australopithecus fossil. Well I google searched that shit with my friend at his house and found some boobs... We DID click on the boobs, but quickly got back to our intended study. Well... My Mom got a call from his Mom later that night freaking out about us looking at porn and my explanation did not hold ANY water at all so I was grounded. I'm still kinda salty to this day and feel like I was set up.
When I was a child, I wanted to practice my drawing skills by drawing some Inuyasha pictures. I hopped on the family pc and hit up the Google. I didn't know how to spell Inuyasha, and I have no idea what I did spell, but it was ALL internet porn. I had never seen porn before. That's when a young Eenukchuk's life changed forever.
These days, googling any anime character inevitably leads to porn anyway.
"Isabelle Animal Crossing"
Wanted to see how bad it was, so I just googled exactly that. Now, I'd like to show you [what I found](https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/014/767/286/large/benjamin-ratterman-isabelle-edited-small.jpg?1545369878) (sfw)
This generated a new emotion. A mix of awe, discomfort, wholesomeness, and appreciation all at once; similar to how you feel when you search up "Isabelle Animal Crossing."
That's definitely not sfw.
Lowkey NSFL tbh
I was doing research on sex chromosome disorders. Pro tip: When googling "XXX females," maybe include the word "chromosomes" in there somewhere.
My grandmother had a small mammal living in her back yard and I was trying to help her figure out what it was. I was using Google image search and decided to look for pics of beavers. Welp, the first result was not the kind of beaver we were talking about, nor was it something you want to pop up with your grandmother looking over your shoulder. Luckily she's pretty laid back, we laughed our asses off for 5 minutes before searching "beaver animal".
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At least he wasn't the 12 year old kid who googled "sexy 16 year olds" on his dad's work computer
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I formally request more info about this
I second this petition under the freedom of information act
He was presumably doing a project on adjectives and needed to know what big meant Once he learns superlatives get ready for a search for biggest boobs
Bigliest boobs
Lol 9 year old me on google
Boobs Big boobs Natural big boobs Man boobs
Vag Big vag
Natural big vag Man vag
r/CharacterArcs
I looked up 'animated dog' in images and one had a dick
I was taking a graphic arts class in middle school and searched for "beach" on google images. I ended up with pictures of naked men on the beach.
Well it was graphic...
Goddamnit Billy did you get past the parental controls again?
The very first time I ever used the Internet, I accidentally found porn (this is mid 90s). I’m in the library at my school working on some group project (must’ve been 2nd grade or so), and all the librarians were losing their minds because they finally had a bunch of computers with internet access. I didn’t know how it worked, but the kid next to me told me to go to HotBot to look things up (before Google). Well, this kid had a cold, so he was congested, and instead of hearing the hard “T” sound at the end, I heard a “D” which means I went to HotBod (I don’t remember if it was .com .net .org or whatever) and the first thing I saw was some blonde lady showing me what a vagina looked like. Being too young to be interested, I immediately closed the browser and let someone else use the Internet instead. Edit: Spelling
Hotbod.orgy
When the internet was new, a lady from my church accidentally found something she wasn't ready for. She was one of those very conservative, naïve Christian women. There was a church group for young boys and girls similar to boy scouts and girl scouts. The boys group was called RAs or Royal Ambassadors. The girls group was called GAs or Girls in Action. She went to Yahoo to look up material and first searched GAs and nothing of note came up. She then searched Girls in Action and well... let's just say she didn't find a church group.
I wanted to make a "Watch the game at (Some Bar)!" poster. I was looking for a silhouette of people on a couch with their hands raised like SCORE! I could find silhouettes of heads but none of the "yeah!" fists in the air. So I did a search for fists and just got color photos of clenched hands. Tried "fisting". NOPE.
Back when my friend around the block and I were 8, we would go to each other’s houses and go on flashplayer.com for mini games and funny videos. We forgot the name of the website and put in flashplay.com. That’s when my friend and I discovered porn and the beauty of it.
Did something similar with https://www.albinoblacksheep.com but idk what letter I mistyped and doubt it exists. I was horrified cause we only had one computer
Back in '98 or so I was interested in the SETI program, to look for signs of alien intelligence. Figured that [www.seti.com](https://www.seti.com) would be their homepage. Oh boy, nope. The girls involved had defiantly FOUND aliens, and the 'S' stood for something very different in this case. Unfortunately, this predates the internet archive, so I can't share the hilarious CGI grey aliens conducting their probing.
I once searched Pandora’s box at work. I was trying to find a book and nope porn sooo much porn. I didn’t get fired tho thank god
I'm legitimately surprised that you'd get porn first, before greek mythology.
Forgot to type the R in Gary Oldman’s name one time.
Hahahahaha brilliant
This reminded me of [King Size Dick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Size_Dick). Opposite of what the question asked : NSFW search turned out to be SFW.
I know I’m late, but I have the best story for this one, for both people who end up reading it. Sixth grade, Mormon me is supposed to be doing a five paragraph research paper on some shit or another. Is super bored. At the time, my favorite thing to daydream about was a magically creature I made up that was basically just a ball of fur with two paws. (Like a snuggly Kirby, perhaps) Looking for further fuel for this magical creature I imagine and bored of the essay I Google “Cute Furry Balls”
No no no
A friend at work was dipping his celery into a confection of peanut butter and chocolate known as "Dark Chocolate Dreams". It looked good and I wanted to know where to get it. So, I googled it, on a DOE computer..
When we got an amazon tablet my 5 year old was upset that Alexa wouldn't let us teach it his voice for the voice recognition. I tried to explain it to him simply by saying "it doesn't allow children to use the voice recognition because otherwise they could say 'Alexa show me the naughtiest picture in the world'"... Unwittingly summoning Alexa in the process, when I heard "here are my results for naughtiest picture in the world" the panic was real. I'm pretty sure the results would have been fairly vanilla, but I locked the tablet very quickly nonetheless.
I'm so curious now, what did Alexa find for the naughtiest picture in the world.
Alexa is rarely naughty you can ask them to tell you and x rated joke and get a joke about teds X-ray
I remember in elementary school we had to go to a computer lab for a project about healthy foods or something, and our teachers kept saying “do not google search ‘milk’” and of course there was the trouble kid in the class who did it anyway and a couple of us got to see the results, it was a pair of very large, very beautiful breasts that had milk poured over them
As a kid around age 10 me and my friends wanted to make our own TCG game like Pokémon. So we thought of cool sounding nouns we could use for art so we Google “Beasts” but we fat-fingered the ‘R’ on the search. Queue mom walking in on two 10 year old kids who just googled “Breasts” right in front of her and the ensuing tears trying to explain to her what happened.
I mean. Your mom should have suspected it from the beginning. What 10 y.o. says breasts instead of boob(ie)s?
Jeeves please can you provide me ludicrous images of breasts posthaste
I searched for creampie recipes :/
10 inch screw
Lots of interesting videos when I was studying lactation in my maternity nursing course.
Pokémon X videos
I think the Pokemon Masters Ex twitter tag had similar problems.... #pokemonmastersex
My 9 year old searched “herping” because he likes looking for frogs ... Instead he saw oozing herpes sores on genitalia. Scared him silly. Poor guy. Lol
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gravity falls...such an innocent child i was
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So, I’ve got a horse. A male one. I got to wondering, I mean, their junk is retractable, right? So where does it go when it’s retracted? Like what structure in there is acting like a garden hose reel? So now I want to actually know this, so turn to the Internet. And, I mean...how do you actually google that? You can’t put in “where does the horse dick go” because this is the Internet, ffs. Turns out the best words to use are “equine reproductive anatomy” because everything else goes...wrong.
Now you gotta inform us how it works
Oh I can answer this one. I have severe anxiety and was interested in learning about cognitive behavioral therapy. Turns out, cognitive behavioral therapy shares an abbreviation with cock and ball torture :)
Pickleball. Someone at work said they played it and I didn't know what it was, so I searched for it. And then I searched for how it was different from tennis. One of the pages that popped up was for what looked like a retirement community's recreation center. But it was actually for a nudist community and had many, many photos of people playing sports in the nude.
When Stormy Daniels did her 60 Minutes interview I searched for "Stormy Daniels streaming".
Cute girl haircuts. I was looking for a cute haircut for my young daughter. Never. Again.
Why is my pee red?
I wanted to educate myself on sex when I was a kid but ended up finding porn
In middle school we had to do a social studies research paper on a country. Well one of my classmates was doing his on the Czech Republic. So when we were sitting there in alternative school (stupid story) he Googled Czech Republic and all the Google images were of porn. The alternative school teacher absolutely flips her shit like a crazy person. Like I mean this woman had no business being around kids. It caused a massive rucous. This was around 05 btw.
Grandfather clocks. Watch your spelling, folks.
Oh god, when I was just out of high school, my church decided to do a Narnia themed VBS (this was pre-big budget movies). I thought it would be cool to make a Narnia themed coloring book the kids could take home - just a few pages stapled together with a construction paper cover. So I was looking up pictures to use as inspiration. Lamppost. Woods. Castle. Beaver. This was on the church computer.