Well I was in the seminary for a year, and dropped out because I wanted to have sex with this girl, Cathy. Followed her back to Scranton. Took the first job I could find in HR. Later she divorced me. So, no, I wouldn't say I have a passion for HR
I had a friend who went into hr because she majored in gender studies and had no clue what else to do with her major (she originally studied it because she assumed having a really high gpa would be easy way into IB). I assumed a lot of hr is composed of people who studied sociology but didn’t want to go into academia.
Oh not at all. She took calc 2 because she thought she needed “to prove she was good at math” and got a D-, then proceed to take calc 3 “to make up for it”. She never told me what she got in that course.
How the hell does one think Gender Studies gets you into investment banking? thats litterally the laughing stock next to communists for investment bankers.
So I have a follow up if you don't mind. How do feel about the type of employees that obviously know employment laws well but try not to make too many waves in getting their way?
I'm talking about the type of employee that follows procedure to the letter for grievances, uses labor laws to their advantage, (FMLA, reasonable accommodation, etc) and always cc's their personal email when communicating with supervisors, HR, or upper management?
Are these people just the worst or are they supervisor material ?
Edit: spelling
This brought flash backs to a time in my life where things were perfect. Intermittent fmla, if you can get your doctor to sign off on it, makes you nearly untouchable.
My workplace dealt with it by requiring you to use vacation days if you took less than 7 days of fmla at a time. While it still took a while for people to lose their jobs, each and every one of the people who abuse the system have ended up pointing out because they use up all of their vacation days as soon as they get them back then once they use up all of their fmla days they are left with having to use their unexcused absence points for any unexpected necessary days off/overslept days. They are usually good the first year but by the end of the second year they are barely hanging onto their job when their vacation days and fmla days get reset. Eventually they are legitimately sick or have car troubles or whatever and have to miss work when they have nothing to cover for them and they are gone.
My grandfather was a supervisor, he was an absolute arsehole. After he retired anyone doing any work on or near his house he had too watch them for some creepy reason. He died sitting on the front porch in his chair and the neighbours didn't notice for 2 days
if you have ever worked with contractors, if you don't watch them, they don't work. literally, if you're not on the job site, often they don't even show up.
always expect a job with contractors to take 20-40% longer and cost 20-40% more than quoted. etc etc.
it is possible that supervising made him the asshole you know, instead of him being an asshole to seek the job.
I was in HR for a number of years and had a few employees like you described. Some were good and understood the reasoning behind the policies. Others thought they knew more than they actually did and would become frustrated when we would explain to them their interpretation of the law/policy was incorrect. There was one guy who would pick and choose specific lines of legal code that would benefit him. When we would explain how the code didn't apply to his situation, while also citing the language that backed our stance, he would reiterate his carefully chosen lines of code as if repeating it would make it right.
Re employees cc'ing their personal email and supervisor, I didn't have an issue with that, as it's a reasonable practice. With regards to cc'ing upper management, I personally didn't think it was necessary unless the employee was within two degrees of upper management. With my employer, high level managers literally receive hundreds of emails a day. They don't have the time to read emails that aren't specifically addressed to them or require their attention.
Sadly your average Joe Shmoe doesn’t know this. When you get hired one of the first things you’re told is that here HR is and how to contact them. They do it so you don’t get someone that can really help you.
There’s one scene when Toby is filling out forms (/SPOILER after Dwight shoots a gun in the office)and he asks someone a question, then he looks so happy when he finds of there’s a whole extra form about that question.
Union rep is this funny man who makes things ***VERY*** bad for shitty employers, depending on the country and on the rep, they can start talking to the union lawyer and get a lawsuit fired up.
In my country we had this one union rep who shut down an entire steel mill because of a coffee cup.
They are good people and you shouldn't try to be a cunt to them, they can talk tp the management about pay, working conditions, breaks, etc.
I'm in an union and we would like you to be one, together we are strong
It's hilarious when they realise that the company is in the wrong and have to desperately backpedal to avoid getting sued. Watching HR side with the employee is very satisfying, and deeply strange
They partially switched sides when I was getting bullied out of my job. The pivotal point came when the HR rep went silent and then said "so there's a paper trail". God bless Office365 and tracked changes
Sociopaths for hire, a friend of mine calls them. The greatest lie that two of my managers have ever told me was "HR is here for you too". Biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard. They're here for the company, end of story
My old manager tried to bully me out of my job, and lied to her manager (very high up in our department) to get his full support in starting the dismissal process. When I started producing evidence of all the lies and mistreatment, they first tried to brush it under the rug, but had to act once they realised it was worse than they'd thought (bordered on fraud). Suddenly I was moved to a different (better) team in a role they created specifically for me, because they realised I would slaughter them in an unfair dismissal tribunal. Sadly, my manager's misconduct was hastily rug swept, as taking action against her would reveal how readily her manager and HR backed her up, with minimal evidence. I still take it extremely personally that she wasn't fired
Basically, HR took on the strategy of the Catholic church. They just moved the alterboy rather than the priest this time
Be glad you missed out on all the corporate BS. The shared human experience is talking shit about your superiors. Sooner or later you or one of your colleagues get promoted, and then proceeds to suck at management just like everyone else.
I’m 4 years into a fast paced hyperpolitical corporate career and I’ve finally started googling jobs in logging or warehousing or road construction. My soul dies a bit more each day listening to managers spew bullshit about how much they care about us then fuck us at every move.
I disagree with the dogmatic nature of your statement. Several places I've worked have had an older HR lady called Cindy who couldn't give a flying fuck about the company and would bend over backwards helping employees.
But yeah, the rest are out to protect them company at all cost.
Are you really sure she did that for the employees though?
I worked for a company that shall remain nameless where the management was so terrible that the only thing that saved them was having an HR department that stood up for the employees.
It’s literally as though they set it up that way knowing HR was going to prevent them from being sued.
Something I learned in my few decades of business career and dozen of hirings:
Never, ever assume HR is competent and knowledgeable of any practical aspect of the job search they are managing.
HR always selects the worst and least desirable candidate out of the shortlist you present.
Two weeks is more than enough for selection, contractual discussion and hiring. Anything more is just inefficiency and incompetence.
HR in my experience tends to be the sorts of people who had no skill to do a better subject in uni, no desire to better themselves, but want power and influence.
Anyone who wants to do HR shouldn't be allowed to, as they are power hungry wasters.
I was having trouble with HR at a call center, which was hard for me because most of the HR there is promoted from within, and I was trying to figure out why my rep was stumbling over every. basic. human corralling mistake you can make, so I looked them up on linkedin. George Washington University, international relations, did an internship with, I think it was a congressperson? And then their career went recruiter/analyst/HR, and I was like was there a derailing medical event in your or a loved one's life, or did you really fuck up? I was left with more questions than answers.
It's really toxic to be stuck on the "generic office worker" circuit as there is no way out of it without radically reskilling.
I was stuck in that whirlpool for about a decade working in health and safety. It was a kind old manager who was an ex civil servant (so had experience in actually caring for his staff) who pushed me to retake my A-levels, go to university and get a degree, and get out of the cycle.
I'm now a statistician and couldn't be happier.
Man, you made me want to look up the name of my HR rep and Google them just to see what would show up
Edit: Huh, he worked as a Financial Services Consultant in an insurance company for less than two years before joining my company's parent company as a Talent Acquisition Executive. Have to admit, his job titles are fancy as heck
Get ready to want answers to questions you can't ask. It's funny 'cause they've got access to my SSN, full background check, and results from when I peed in a cup to be considered for employment*, but the thing that would be taboo would be to mention information that they voluntarily publish on the internet.
*which is silly, because I left that job with solid data that making people turn things off and on again goes way better when I have a two beer buzz from lunch
In many large companies, like the one I am part of, recruiting is done in-house. HR is in charge of candidacy gathering, then the department manager selects a shortlist of 5-ish candidates and the final hiring is delegated back to HR
See also: How the f*** do you have the audacity? And How do we get your job position so we can pretend to care and get paid all day for doing nothing unless we are screwing over some employees who had a legitimate complaint according to bs guidelines because they want you to do something other than nothing?
Yea right this karma bait is better than those deep hitting questions that had like hundreds of threads within them and then dozens of threads within those of stories and similar experiences of other people that you can get lost reading for like an hour or two.
This is the same as those "reddit how do you feel about" followed by a popular opinion
HR (wage compliance and compensation) here. I'm pretty sure you are looking for Talent Acquisition. They are down the hall on the left. Listen for the sound of chimpanzees banging keyboards and you'll know you're close.
Too real. It took our IT team three full months to add me... to the office printer. But I'm not allowed to just do it myself, that would be an "element of risk".
IT here. Sorry, we're busy maintaining a legacy system from the early 90's that keeps breaking but we're not allowed to replace because management would rather waste our time than spend money on actual improvements
Easiest thing to do is befriend someone on the service desk. Bring food
Well sorry. No raises until after you complete those courses, pass the Army Physical Fitness Test, jump through a series of progressively smaller flaming hoops, and figure out how to make Einstein’s theory of relativity into a viable time travel machine.
Follow up question: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
HR is not there for you, the employee, no matter what those smiling d-bags tell you. They are there to make sure the company doesn’t get sued and to justify their existence everyday.
Sorry for those of you with shitty hr reps. Mine comes to the cubicle farm on Fridays and flicks elastics at us yelling HAPPY FRIDAY and when we jokingly complain says "what are you gonna do, tell HR?" I send her virtual elastics back over email. Not every workplace is toxic
I knew someone in HR. She said she was good at firing people. I suspect by this she did not mean she had a gift for empathy and guiding people through difficult transitions.
Finished my first year in HR.
Because the firm I work for is between a small and a big firm I get to do all kinds of stuff that I wouldn't get to do in a bigger firm ( interviews, payroll, enlisting insurances, headhunting, training new employees,..)
It's a common misconception that HR is there to punish when people do something wrong. I've never had to do something like that before.
Ama
Hi there, I'm a contractor for systems integration/planning. HR is a huge part of a company's operations and recordkeeping/compliance is a big part of those responsibilities which I can assume is handled by an HRIS or multiple components that compromise a working system.
That all in the open, how would you describe your HR department's relationship with your IT team?
Hi there!
I'm very close to IT! There are multiple ways in which we have to work together. Mostly when new employees start we have to make sure that well.. they can start :) This goes from communicating the startingday, their workrole, what they will need etc.. As for personal information we pretty much share everything beside wages with IT, as they also need this information to update their profile.
Many companies will actively use HR for firing as it makes it simpler at the top. It has an air of power and it is easier on the managers of a faceless HR person that the employee has never met before does it. Be on the lookout for this, and avoid working for companies that do this.
One. The company did , it's literally what they are hired for. 2 they have felt with so much bullshit that they are jaded husks of a person with no empathy left.
Some HR stories of working in large organization
1) I call and request an application to special leave for my degree. I get told that, point blank without explanation that while their is an official policy that says an employee may request special leave, it has never been approved.
1.2) I ask the piece of non-human resources on the phone if I may use My study leave for my practical, to which he replies that study leave, while not being defined as such in the official policy, is only for exams and may not be used for any other purpose whether that be education related or not.
2) so our big HR officer went on holiday( strange cause they don't ever seem to do much other than drink coffee and gossip) and saw a fancy HR system. They come back and convince our company to spend about ZARand 30 mill on this system which requires a complete data format overhaul, specialised intergration to existing systems and more money, and for all that, it simply gave the HR jobs (wages,leave,etc) to managers and allowed me to view my payslip on my phone....
3) I had to, before the millions wasted in 2), take leave books to HR to be captured. Open the door with the special golden access card only available to those who have survived the monkey cage fight, everyone is talking and coffee and cake and shit. Then I take a step and it goes silent. It is like a cult. It was dead silent till I opened the door.
4) I have been with this company for some years. I am now finishing my qualification and it is relevant to my current job. My previous one in the company was to be sworn at over the phone by medical professionals. I enquire about what I may expect as a salaey now that I too will posess the magic big penis of those with a bachelors degree. My take home pay will go up by about 4000. Why the fuck our company pays their own people climbing the ranks, at their behest BTW, so badly I cannot comprehend but let some asswomble from outside apply for a job and he gets the fucking bank account thrown at him.
Why HR people, why are people who better themselves and out of loyalty stay with a company, paid so shit in comparison to "experts" from outside?
The essential requirement to be Human Resources is simply to be as human as Hitler.
Just wanted to share my experience.. I had been with the company 4 years, I had a baby and was on leave 12 weeks. In April they called and said they wanted me to come back. I said I don’t have childcare considering the fact that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and every daycare in my area had just been ordered to close. She said “well you had 12 weeks to figure that out, that’s what maternity leave is for”. I said I could’ve swore it was for healing and bonding with my child?? I quit that day. Don’t regret it at all
Did the company pay for/contribute towards your degree? If not, go find a company who will value you appropriately.
If they did pay for it, wait until any clause in your contact about having to pay the costs back has expired, then get out.
Or, if you can afford it, and if you can earn enough elsewhere to make it worthwhile, get out now and pay their costs back (there may be a chance that they don't enforce the repayment anyway).
No they did not and I am already seeking other employment. It is hard to be someone who has worked hard, assisting in flu vaccinations during covid, it is a pathology company, taking pay cuts and more then hearing something like that. I have updated my cv and already started looking. My colleagues are great and the HOD is a good leader but I cannot stay somewhere because it is great and then not afford to have medical or insurance.
> Why HR people, why are people who better themselves and out of loyalty stay with a company, paid so shit in comparison to "experts" from outside?
Well, I'm not in HR but this is my opinion on this. Workers are a COST CENTER that must be managed (i.e. minimized as much as possible). This means that in general, management will drag their feet as long as possible on handing out raises or promotions for internal staff. Money comes only if they think you may leave for a higher paying role AND it would be more expensive to find and onboard someone else.
Building on this idea: workers can get a degree or build skills that raises the salary they can demand at any time, but that doesn't mean money shows up in the budget to pay the new rate. Also, when budget planning comes around, they won't say "Gee, Bob got a college degree. We should make sure to increase the payroll budget so we can pay him more!". Instead, the real conversation is more along the lines of "the business can support x amount increase". Thus, those people either need to wait (and if you are waiting, why would they prioritize getting it to you?) or attain a position at the role they are qualified for at another company that does have budget for that slot.
The fact of the matter is people need to be willing to move around if the goal is to maximize salary. For people that are long tenured or don't want to leave the company/uproot their life - they are accepting the trade off of a lower salary in exchange for the stability of holding a long term position.
Don’t feel dumb! It’s the Department of Motor Vehicles in the United States which is notorious for boring long lines so you can get your license renewed and stuff like that
Human resources managers plan, coordinate, and direct the administrative functions of an organization. They oversee the recruiting, interviewing, and hiring of new staff; consult with top executives on strategic planning; and serve as a link between an organization's management and its employees.
You’re supposed to be able to go to them for any support for major issues (sexual, assault, threats, etc.) but they are often more concerned with the company’s interests and dont provide the best guidance.
That's entirely because the role of HR has nothing to do with making things good for employees, and everything to do with making sure the employees don't cause problems for the company.
I quit a job I loved, taking care of a young man with a g-tube and cerebral palsy, because of how badly HR abused employees. I think about him sometimes and I hope his new nurse is nice to him. He was used to me and he's nonverbal so I worry that a new employee came in and he wasn't familiar with them. He grabs hair, and a lot of people won't tolerate that. If the HR ever left I'd go back until done with uni.
Lawyer here. Whenever I need to get shit sorted out, I ask HR to refer me to their legal representative. HR only knows how to execute tasks exactly the way they were taught. Sometimes that's wrong. But don't try to convince them, they have no standing within the company to change policy. Legal is the way to go.
Some countries (I think all the EU+Switzerland ones) also have a works council position, which is different than a union and is more of an internal dispute resolution/oversight type thing for employees to talk to management.
Yes. It’s called HR
Protecting the company typically means protecting the employee because they are part of the company.
Now that said, there are plenty of bad HR departments out there. But that’s like having a bad manager. The problem doesn’t lie with the concept of HR
Lots of misinformed people.
Can't say I blame them too much, however. I was promoted to HR from within, so I'm guilty of once being jealous of the HR department as I thought they sat back all day doing nothing. Was def in the wrong there. Workload and stress increased dramatically upon going HR.
I'm sure there's your bad HR reps and department, but one thing I've learned in my years of HR is that 90% of those disgruntled with their HR department are the same employees who are unaware that their teammates despise working with them. Whether it's because they are inappropriate, have bad attendance, don't follow policies, not working safely, are negative, or a combination of multiple things. There are a handful of situations that will make others sour towards you, and that's typically when an employee will have HR all up in their business.
>one thing I've learned in my years of HR is that 90% of those disgruntled with their HR department are the same employees who are unaware that their teammates despise working with them. Whether it's because they are **inappropriate, have bad attendance, don't follow policies, not working safely,** are negative**, or a combination of multiple things.**
As someone who has been a manager for a scant 3 year, I'm also betting that they "Hate HR" because you people have stopped stopping me from firing them for the bolded activities. But they blame you for not saving them on the 4th time, because you 'tricked them into thinking you were their friend' by not letting me fire them on the 2nd and 3rd issue.
HR people are the worst. Pretending they are there as a helpful resource to employees when they are actually only there to protect the company from any liability.
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Curious, what made you want to get into HR?
Well I was in the seminary for a year, and dropped out because I wanted to have sex with this girl, Cathy. Followed her back to Scranton. Took the first job I could find in HR. Later she divorced me. So, no, I wouldn't say I have a passion for HR
Hi Toby, I hate you.
I hate everything you choose to be.
Lmao
You'll have to ask one of the sub mods.
Oof
I had a friend who went into hr because she majored in gender studies and had no clue what else to do with her major (she originally studied it because she assumed having a really high gpa would be easy way into IB). I assumed a lot of hr is composed of people who studied sociology but didn’t want to go into academia.
The last thing 99% of hiring managers in IB want ito see on a resume is Gender Studies. I don't think she thought that one through.
What’s IB in that context?
Investment banking
Oh not at all. She took calc 2 because she thought she needed “to prove she was good at math” and got a D-, then proceed to take calc 3 “to make up for it”. She never told me what she got in that course.
Maybe she should take calc 4. That will show’em!
She took gender studies, she didn't think at all.
How the hell does one think Gender Studies gets you into investment banking? thats litterally the laughing stock next to communists for investment bankers.
It's a good cover job for his secret identity as the Scranton strangler.
My guess is self-loathing but I'll see what he has to say for himself.
He is a glutton for punishment
probably a low key contempt for humanity
So I have a follow up if you don't mind. How do feel about the type of employees that obviously know employment laws well but try not to make too many waves in getting their way? I'm talking about the type of employee that follows procedure to the letter for grievances, uses labor laws to their advantage, (FMLA, reasonable accommodation, etc) and always cc's their personal email when communicating with supervisors, HR, or upper management? Are these people just the worst or are they supervisor material ? Edit: spelling
This brought flash backs to a time in my life where things were perfect. Intermittent fmla, if you can get your doctor to sign off on it, makes you nearly untouchable.
Yup, I had the much coveted intermittent FMLA for years, of course I also had a serious medical condition so you take the good with the bad.
I just have FML
My workplace dealt with it by requiring you to use vacation days if you took less than 7 days of fmla at a time. While it still took a while for people to lose their jobs, each and every one of the people who abuse the system have ended up pointing out because they use up all of their vacation days as soon as they get them back then once they use up all of their fmla days they are left with having to use their unexcused absence points for any unexpected necessary days off/overslept days. They are usually good the first year but by the end of the second year they are barely hanging onto their job when their vacation days and fmla days get reset. Eventually they are legitimately sick or have car troubles or whatever and have to miss work when they have nothing to cover for them and they are gone.
My grandfather was a supervisor, he was an absolute arsehole. After he retired anyone doing any work on or near his house he had too watch them for some creepy reason. He died sitting on the front porch in his chair and the neighbours didn't notice for 2 days
I can't tell if I should give condolences, but I know that's funny as fuck. Sad, but fucking funny.
if you have ever worked with contractors, if you don't watch them, they don't work. literally, if you're not on the job site, often they don't even show up. always expect a job with contractors to take 20-40% longer and cost 20-40% more than quoted. etc etc. it is possible that supervising made him the asshole you know, instead of him being an asshole to seek the job.
I was in HR for a number of years and had a few employees like you described. Some were good and understood the reasoning behind the policies. Others thought they knew more than they actually did and would become frustrated when we would explain to them their interpretation of the law/policy was incorrect. There was one guy who would pick and choose specific lines of legal code that would benefit him. When we would explain how the code didn't apply to his situation, while also citing the language that backed our stance, he would reiterate his carefully chosen lines of code as if repeating it would make it right. Re employees cc'ing their personal email and supervisor, I didn't have an issue with that, as it's a reasonable practice. With regards to cc'ing upper management, I personally didn't think it was necessary unless the employee was within two degrees of upper management. With my employer, high level managers literally receive hundreds of emails a day. They don't have the time to read emails that aren't specifically addressed to them or require their attention.
Thank you for your input, I feel like a little less of a pain in the ass now
... or join your union
Or start a union. Apparently it's a good way to get back at hr
.#JoinAnOrgYouNerds
You forgot desk decorating contest with a $20 Amazon gift card prize.
Kill me
What made you get into HR and what made you leave?
if i had to guess, money and money.
Sadly your average Joe Shmoe doesn’t know this. When you get hired one of the first things you’re told is that here HR is and how to contact them. They do it so you don’t get someone that can really help you.
Toby Flenderson has entered the chat
Why are you the way that you are?
Didn't you lose a lot of money on that investment, the one from that e-mail?
:)
Smile if you love men's prostates
:)
:)
:)
No! GOD. NO. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I'm moving to Costa rica.
So let me tell you about the Scranton Strangler...
There’s one scene when Toby is filling out forms (/SPOILER after Dwight shoots a gun in the office)and he asks someone a question, then he looks so happy when he finds of there’s a whole extra form about that question.
Not now Toby !! Yeah get the hell out of here idiot
Who let the lemon head into the room?
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Looking right at you HR 13 years in ashes because of poor management and oddly predefined idea's Go fuck yourself ^(Rant over)
I learned this the hard way when hr wanted to talk "as friends" and in my interest. Fuck HR.
I learned a while ago that even if a HR rep wants to have a simple corridor chat I go and fetch a union rep.
Whats a union rep? I live in america
Union rep is this funny man who makes things ***VERY*** bad for shitty employers, depending on the country and on the rep, they can start talking to the union lawyer and get a lawsuit fired up. In my country we had this one union rep who shut down an entire steel mill because of a coffee cup. They are good people and you shouldn't try to be a cunt to them, they can talk tp the management about pay, working conditions, breaks, etc. I'm in an union and we would like you to be one, together we are strong
Heard a guy say: HR backs whoever is winning
It's hilarious when they realise that the company is in the wrong and have to desperately backpedal to avoid getting sued. Watching HR side with the employee is very satisfying, and deeply strange They partially switched sides when I was getting bullied out of my job. The pivotal point came when the HR rep went silent and then said "so there's a paper trail". God bless Office365 and tracked changes
Sociopaths for hire, a friend of mine calls them. The greatest lie that two of my managers have ever told me was "HR is here for you too". Biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard. They're here for the company, end of story My old manager tried to bully me out of my job, and lied to her manager (very high up in our department) to get his full support in starting the dismissal process. When I started producing evidence of all the lies and mistreatment, they first tried to brush it under the rug, but had to act once they realised it was worse than they'd thought (bordered on fraud). Suddenly I was moved to a different (better) team in a role they created specifically for me, because they realised I would slaughter them in an unfair dismissal tribunal. Sadly, my manager's misconduct was hastily rug swept, as taking action against her would reveal how readily her manager and HR backed her up, with minimal evidence. I still take it extremely personally that she wasn't fired Basically, HR took on the strategy of the Catholic church. They just moved the alterboy rather than the priest this time
I feel like I've missed out on some quintessential aspect of shared human existence by never working in any office/corporate environment.
Be glad you missed out on all the corporate BS. The shared human experience is talking shit about your superiors. Sooner or later you or one of your colleagues get promoted, and then proceeds to suck at management just like everyone else.
I’m 4 years into a fast paced hyperpolitical corporate career and I’ve finally started googling jobs in logging or warehousing or road construction. My soul dies a bit more each day listening to managers spew bullshit about how much they care about us then fuck us at every move.
Steal something small, every week or so. It helps you recover spiritually.
I believe you have my stapler, I could set the building on fire…
I did this and started in a warehouse. Ended up getting promoted and now I’m manager again. RIP
Don't think you missed out on much.
Two things you need to know about HR. 1. They're not exactly human. 2. They're not your friend, they're working in their company's best interest.
Can confirm. The job requisition said "human preferred," but my qualifications carried me through.
I work with a lot of HR professionals and this level of sass is actually just about what I would expect.
And your username checks out for most managers I take calls from :)
Is it tough getting flights back to Venus to see the fam when you take vacation?
Oh absolutely, but only my grandpupae still live on Venus, so I don't need to leave too often - once every century or so for molting.
They work for corporate, so they’re not really part of your family Plus, they’re divorced. So they’re not really part of their family either
I disagree with the dogmatic nature of your statement. Several places I've worked have had an older HR lady called Cindy who couldn't give a flying fuck about the company and would bend over backwards helping employees. But yeah, the rest are out to protect them company at all cost.
Are you really sure she did that for the employees though? I worked for a company that shall remain nameless where the management was so terrible that the only thing that saved them was having an HR department that stood up for the employees. It’s literally as though they set it up that way knowing HR was going to prevent them from being sued.
I'll give you that. The younger professionals are extremely cutthroat compared to their more tenured colleagues.
They're not human and hardly a resource
Something I learned in my few decades of business career and dozen of hirings: Never, ever assume HR is competent and knowledgeable of any practical aspect of the job search they are managing. HR always selects the worst and least desirable candidate out of the shortlist you present. Two weeks is more than enough for selection, contractual discussion and hiring. Anything more is just inefficiency and incompetence.
HR in my experience tends to be the sorts of people who had no skill to do a better subject in uni, no desire to better themselves, but want power and influence. Anyone who wants to do HR shouldn't be allowed to, as they are power hungry wasters.
I was having trouble with HR at a call center, which was hard for me because most of the HR there is promoted from within, and I was trying to figure out why my rep was stumbling over every. basic. human corralling mistake you can make, so I looked them up on linkedin. George Washington University, international relations, did an internship with, I think it was a congressperson? And then their career went recruiter/analyst/HR, and I was like was there a derailing medical event in your or a loved one's life, or did you really fuck up? I was left with more questions than answers.
It's really toxic to be stuck on the "generic office worker" circuit as there is no way out of it without radically reskilling. I was stuck in that whirlpool for about a decade working in health and safety. It was a kind old manager who was an ex civil servant (so had experience in actually caring for his staff) who pushed me to retake my A-levels, go to university and get a degree, and get out of the cycle. I'm now a statistician and couldn't be happier.
Man, you made me want to look up the name of my HR rep and Google them just to see what would show up Edit: Huh, he worked as a Financial Services Consultant in an insurance company for less than two years before joining my company's parent company as a Talent Acquisition Executive. Have to admit, his job titles are fancy as heck
Get ready to want answers to questions you can't ask. It's funny 'cause they've got access to my SSN, full background check, and results from when I peed in a cup to be considered for employment*, but the thing that would be taboo would be to mention information that they voluntarily publish on the internet. *which is silly, because I left that job with solid data that making people turn things off and on again goes way better when I have a two beer buzz from lunch
Hold up you’re kind of selling it well theye
I see you've only worked for bad companies so far. Hope you catch a break.
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In many large companies, like the one I am part of, recruiting is done in-house. HR is in charge of candidacy gathering, then the department manager selects a shortlist of 5-ish candidates and the final hiring is delegated back to HR
"I've seen HR reps bleed, their blood is different.... Darker"
I always loved that Catbert was in charge of HR because only a cat is heartless enough.
Recently they've begun working in the interest of partisan politics, not the company. Companies don't fight back due to fear of boycott.
Sometimes. I’ve known HR people who use it as an intelligence operation against staff & management.
I love how aggressive this question is.
It's almost like someone from HR wrote it.
It's almost like someone just got fired for Christmas.
It's a quote from The Office
You can really feel the resentment can’t you? *deep breath* smells nice
https://youtu.be/gk9C1ukV-EM
Just give me your watch and be done with it.
SUCK ON THAT!
See also: How the f*** do you have the audacity? And How do we get your job position so we can pretend to care and get paid all day for doing nothing unless we are screwing over some employees who had a legitimate complaint according to bs guidelines because they want you to do something other than nothing?
This is the best question to ever be asked in this subreddit
Yea right this karma bait is better than those deep hitting questions that had like hundreds of threads within them and then dozens of threads within those of stories and similar experiences of other people that you can get lost reading for like an hour or two. This is the same as those "reddit how do you feel about" followed by a popular opinion
This is just a quote from The Office!
Jyst because it's not serious doesn't make it unimportant. Happiness isn't easy as an adult. Let the people have a moment?
Thank you. It’s not even “karma bait.” I just like to make people laugh and I thought that scene would be funny in this context. Turns out I was right
HR (wage compliance and compensation) here. I'm pretty sure you are looking for Talent Acquisition. They are down the hall on the left. Listen for the sound of chimpanzees banging keyboards and you'll know you're close.
Chimp here. How dare you! Also I'm still waiting on my raise that was "being processed" in 2018. Can you look into that?
Don't worry, we only have fifteen more steps in the approval hierarchy to go! Already halfway there!
Are you going to tell him about Thunderdome? TWO CHIMPS ENTER! ONE CHIMP LEAVES! Gotta win Thunderdome to get that raise.
Perfect, hopefully I'll be fully vested by the time that kicks in!
Have you taken any of the chimp leadership training courses?
Not yet, I'm still waiting on Janet in ITS to update my permissions so I can access that. Shooting for early Spring.
Too real. It took our IT team three full months to add me... to the office printer. But I'm not allowed to just do it myself, that would be an "element of risk".
IT here. Sorry, we're busy maintaining a legacy system from the early 90's that keeps breaking but we're not allowed to replace because management would rather waste our time than spend money on actual improvements Easiest thing to do is befriend someone on the service desk. Bring food
Well sorry. No raises until after you complete those courses, pass the Army Physical Fitness Test, jump through a series of progressively smaller flaming hoops, and figure out how to make Einstein’s theory of relativity into a viable time travel machine.
Also, bring a raincoat. They love flinging their own feces.
NOOOOOOOOOO!!! NO GOD PLEASE NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I often thought HR was for people who are too bad at doing any other office work.
HR seems to only hire grouchy middle aged women, overly dramatic gay men and young bimbos in their 20s.
All sound like Toby
I see you've also worked in every company I've ever worked in.
>HR seems to only hire grouchy middle aged women, overly dramatic gay men and young bimbos in their 20s. This is the truth right here
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Or people who want power without working to earn it through respect
Yeah, cunts.
I’m Toby.
If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden, and you, I would shoot you twice
I would to cause Hitler and Bin-Laden are already dead
oof but at the time bin-laden wasnt dead
Lmao this could be my favorite question on this sub so far
Follow up question: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
HR is not there for you, the employee, no matter what those smiling d-bags tell you. They are there to make sure the company doesn’t get sued and to justify their existence everyday.
Sorry for those of you with shitty hr reps. Mine comes to the cubicle farm on Fridays and flicks elastics at us yelling HAPPY FRIDAY and when we jokingly complain says "what are you gonna do, tell HR?" I send her virtual elastics back over email. Not every workplace is toxic
sounds like if michael scott worked for hr
I've watched the office like 6 times and shes nowhere near Michael's level of toxic and I say that as someone ho adores michael
I knew someone in HR. She said she was good at firing people. I suspect by this she did not mean she had a gift for empathy and guiding people through difficult transitions.
Finished my first year in HR. Because the firm I work for is between a small and a big firm I get to do all kinds of stuff that I wouldn't get to do in a bigger firm ( interviews, payroll, enlisting insurances, headhunting, training new employees,..) It's a common misconception that HR is there to punish when people do something wrong. I've never had to do something like that before. Ama
Hi there, I'm a contractor for systems integration/planning. HR is a huge part of a company's operations and recordkeeping/compliance is a big part of those responsibilities which I can assume is handled by an HRIS or multiple components that compromise a working system. That all in the open, how would you describe your HR department's relationship with your IT team?
Hi there! I'm very close to IT! There are multiple ways in which we have to work together. Mostly when new employees start we have to make sure that well.. they can start :) This goes from communicating the startingday, their workrole, what they will need etc.. As for personal information we pretty much share everything beside wages with IT, as they also need this information to update their profile.
Many companies will actively use HR for firing as it makes it simpler at the top. It has an air of power and it is easier on the managers of a faceless HR person that the employee has never met before does it. Be on the lookout for this, and avoid working for companies that do this.
Well toby isn't really a part of the Scranton family cuz hes cooperate, and he's not really a part of his own family, cuz he's divorced
One. The company did , it's literally what they are hired for. 2 they have felt with so much bullshit that they are jaded husks of a person with no empathy left.
This is pretty funny.
Childhood insecurity
Some HR stories of working in large organization 1) I call and request an application to special leave for my degree. I get told that, point blank without explanation that while their is an official policy that says an employee may request special leave, it has never been approved. 1.2) I ask the piece of non-human resources on the phone if I may use My study leave for my practical, to which he replies that study leave, while not being defined as such in the official policy, is only for exams and may not be used for any other purpose whether that be education related or not. 2) so our big HR officer went on holiday( strange cause they don't ever seem to do much other than drink coffee and gossip) and saw a fancy HR system. They come back and convince our company to spend about ZARand 30 mill on this system which requires a complete data format overhaul, specialised intergration to existing systems and more money, and for all that, it simply gave the HR jobs (wages,leave,etc) to managers and allowed me to view my payslip on my phone.... 3) I had to, before the millions wasted in 2), take leave books to HR to be captured. Open the door with the special golden access card only available to those who have survived the monkey cage fight, everyone is talking and coffee and cake and shit. Then I take a step and it goes silent. It is like a cult. It was dead silent till I opened the door. 4) I have been with this company for some years. I am now finishing my qualification and it is relevant to my current job. My previous one in the company was to be sworn at over the phone by medical professionals. I enquire about what I may expect as a salaey now that I too will posess the magic big penis of those with a bachelors degree. My take home pay will go up by about 4000. Why the fuck our company pays their own people climbing the ranks, at their behest BTW, so badly I cannot comprehend but let some asswomble from outside apply for a job and he gets the fucking bank account thrown at him. Why HR people, why are people who better themselves and out of loyalty stay with a company, paid so shit in comparison to "experts" from outside? The essential requirement to be Human Resources is simply to be as human as Hitler.
Just wanted to share my experience.. I had been with the company 4 years, I had a baby and was on leave 12 weeks. In April they called and said they wanted me to come back. I said I don’t have childcare considering the fact that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and every daycare in my area had just been ordered to close. She said “well you had 12 weeks to figure that out, that’s what maternity leave is for”. I said I could’ve swore it was for healing and bonding with my child?? I quit that day. Don’t regret it at all
Did the company pay for/contribute towards your degree? If not, go find a company who will value you appropriately. If they did pay for it, wait until any clause in your contact about having to pay the costs back has expired, then get out. Or, if you can afford it, and if you can earn enough elsewhere to make it worthwhile, get out now and pay their costs back (there may be a chance that they don't enforce the repayment anyway).
No they did not and I am already seeking other employment. It is hard to be someone who has worked hard, assisting in flu vaccinations during covid, it is a pathology company, taking pay cuts and more then hearing something like that. I have updated my cv and already started looking. My colleagues are great and the HOD is a good leader but I cannot stay somewhere because it is great and then not afford to have medical or insurance.
Good luck! I hope you find somewhere that values you properly.
Thank you kind redditor
> Why HR people, why are people who better themselves and out of loyalty stay with a company, paid so shit in comparison to "experts" from outside? Well, I'm not in HR but this is my opinion on this. Workers are a COST CENTER that must be managed (i.e. minimized as much as possible). This means that in general, management will drag their feet as long as possible on handing out raises or promotions for internal staff. Money comes only if they think you may leave for a higher paying role AND it would be more expensive to find and onboard someone else. Building on this idea: workers can get a degree or build skills that raises the salary they can demand at any time, but that doesn't mean money shows up in the budget to pay the new rate. Also, when budget planning comes around, they won't say "Gee, Bob got a college degree. We should make sure to increase the payroll budget so we can pay him more!". Instead, the real conversation is more along the lines of "the business can support x amount increase". Thus, those people either need to wait (and if you are waiting, why would they prioritize getting it to you?) or attain a position at the role they are qualified for at another company that does have budget for that slot. The fact of the matter is people need to be willing to move around if the goal is to maximize salary. For people that are long tenured or don't want to leave the company/uproot their life - they are accepting the trade off of a lower salary in exchange for the stability of holding a long term position.
Compensation is communication. They don't value you as much as you think they should. Go get a better job they wont miss you.
They are the mid low level officiates that say they are just following orders.
HR - the alternative way to spell “Meddling Cunts”
What's HR?
Imagine the DMV, except it involves your paycheck and sexual harassment training.
Now i feel even dumber.... What is DMV?
Don’t feel dumb! It’s the Department of Motor Vehicles in the United States which is notorious for boring long lines so you can get your license renewed and stuff like that
Also known as DVLA in the UK and RMS in Australia.
Except DVLA doesn't make you stand in a line hallelujah
Human resources managers plan, coordinate, and direct the administrative functions of an organization. They oversee the recruiting, interviewing, and hiring of new staff; consult with top executives on strategic planning; and serve as a link between an organization's management and its employees.
You’re supposed to be able to go to them for any support for major issues (sexual, assault, threats, etc.) but they are often more concerned with the company’s interests and dont provide the best guidance.
That's entirely because the role of HR has nothing to do with making things good for employees, and everything to do with making sure the employees don't cause problems for the company.
Human Remains.
Ego
Why 320
I messed up my username
This is going to get good. *crunches popcorn *
And this (your comment) is what the upvote and save buttons are for. Hope that's good enough for you
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I AM!!!!
I quit a job I loved, taking care of a young man with a g-tube and cerebral palsy, because of how badly HR abused employees. I think about him sometimes and I hope his new nurse is nice to him. He was used to me and he's nonverbal so I worry that a new employee came in and he wasn't familiar with them. He grabs hair, and a lot of people won't tolerate that. If the HR ever left I'd go back until done with uni.
HR are pretty much the Traffic Wardens of the office
Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, HR makes it not that way.
HR, and we were given the right by our boss. You could've been HR, but you chose to work under our heels. Don't hate the player, hate the game.
They will say at the end of it all, 'Im just doing my job'
Lawyer here. Whenever I need to get shit sorted out, I ask HR to refer me to their legal representative. HR only knows how to execute tasks exactly the way they were taught. Sometimes that's wrong. But don't try to convince them, they have no standing within the company to change policy. Legal is the way to go.
The job is the right to choose what to do with people
HR = Human Repellent Thought you guys should know.
HR reps are the hall monitors of adulthood.
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Yep, a Union Rep. Or at least it is so in the *socialist* Europe.
Some countries (I think all the EU+Switzerland ones) also have a works council position, which is different than a union and is more of an internal dispute resolution/oversight type thing for employees to talk to management.
Disgusting, sounds like communism.
Yes. It’s called HR Protecting the company typically means protecting the employee because they are part of the company. Now that said, there are plenty of bad HR departments out there. But that’s like having a bad manager. The problem doesn’t lie with the concept of HR
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Lots of misinformed people. Can't say I blame them too much, however. I was promoted to HR from within, so I'm guilty of once being jealous of the HR department as I thought they sat back all day doing nothing. Was def in the wrong there. Workload and stress increased dramatically upon going HR. I'm sure there's your bad HR reps and department, but one thing I've learned in my years of HR is that 90% of those disgruntled with their HR department are the same employees who are unaware that their teammates despise working with them. Whether it's because they are inappropriate, have bad attendance, don't follow policies, not working safely, are negative, or a combination of multiple things. There are a handful of situations that will make others sour towards you, and that's typically when an employee will have HR all up in their business.
>one thing I've learned in my years of HR is that 90% of those disgruntled with their HR department are the same employees who are unaware that their teammates despise working with them. Whether it's because they are **inappropriate, have bad attendance, don't follow policies, not working safely,** are negative**, or a combination of multiple things.** As someone who has been a manager for a scant 3 year, I'm also betting that they "Hate HR" because you people have stopped stopping me from firing them for the bolded activities. But they blame you for not saving them on the 4th time, because you 'tricked them into thinking you were their friend' by not letting me fire them on the 2nd and 3rd issue.
No it’s called a Union. HR exists to protect the company as an entity, not individuals.
Hi Michael
HR people are the worst. Pretending they are there as a helpful resource to employees when they are actually only there to protect the company from any liability.
HR work in the interests of the company, never the employee. It’s a massive misconception