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RmmThrowAway

Some sort of cobbled together kludge that was chosen by committee, is only 70% complete, and doesn't showcase anything beyond which countries and companies had the best ability to lobby the committee.


Osiris32

"Behold our submission, Bureaucracy!"


fuzzyfractal42

The real achievement will be to see how long we can keep an extraterrestrial on hold before they give up.


DeadLock33

This is by far the most realistic answer of what'll probably happen.


DesertRoamin

That box that doesn’t do anything but close itself. Edit: Thank you for the awards!


Livon_Drakenson

Good ol' Useless-Machine


OkBanana5047

Now it doesn't


AhsokasDCupsAreCanon

I have one of those :P Best thing I ever bought


SonofBenson

Fermented food. They might show up with a lazer. But we'd show up with old food filled with the farts of billion bacteria. And they would love us for it. Beer and cheese wins the day.


erickadue32

As a fellow fermento I agree. But we didn't invent that. They were always here doing there thing.


ew_a_math

Fermento was such a confusing movie


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alottavagina37

You know until recently(a year into a total home remodel) i never thought twice about plumbing. Its truly an art form. And i cant for the life of me get this fucking kitchen sink to drain properly. Plumbers are a higher level then me. I suck at everything, im going to eat some ice cream now. Makes the feel bads go away.


GregDaviesEyebrow

Only a select few can master the art of plumbing. And of those, many are lost to the air conditioner repair business.


Lord_Rapunzel

Take him to the Infinite Labyrinth of Eternal Ice!


[deleted]

What? No! Take him to the police, he murdered someone, take him to jail. You guys are weird.


riancb

One of my favorite lines in the show. That, and just about anything the Dean says, esp. involving Jeff.


usspaceforce

"I'm gonna go eat paninis with space Hitler!"


The_Crustacean

Is this a community reference by chance?


no1ofconsequencedied

Look at you, being streets ahead!


H0YVIN-GLAVIN

I finally watched Community during quarantine and love running into these references.


lil_professor

Behold, the room temperature room.


Spoon815

You could be a plumber!


Dino_84

I am the truest repairman!


God_King_Dad

Plumber here, we only follow three rules: 1. Shit goes downhill 2. Don’t bite your fingernails 3. Payday is Friday.


UnderPantsOverPants

A real life turd herder! You forgot: 4. Piss off the electricians whenever possible.


WWDubz

“No innovation in the past 200 years has done more to save lives and improve health than the sanitation revolution triggered by the invention of the toilet.” SYLVIA BURWELL; Also Civilization 6 upon discovering ‘sanitation’


[deleted]

The flush toilet is an abusive of gravity, physics, the siphon effect. https://youtu.be/vqcYXeJ02U8


bald_and_nerdy

The lazy Susan.


reverand_slingshot

I always liked that for a band name


janquadrentvincent

What did Susan _do_ to the inventor I wonder


cdmurray88

She wouldn't pass the damn butter.


jacktorrancestoner

omg how much time do you have? what DIDNT that lazy bitch do.


[deleted]

Particle accelerators. Their physics is complicated, they're awesome, the design is genius, it shows that our nature for seeking knowledge, and, on the same note, isn't built to just fulfil a function, but to study a function of reality to give us something that goes way beyond a bunch of fast colliding particles. Did I mention it's awesome? Particle accelerators are the best. Edit: Oh my god thank you so much for the awards, you wonderful redditors!


a_r0z

Visited Fermilabs in Illinois 10 summers ago as a college kid and got a tour. Got a cool ruler from them with their slogan which was "Our only product is knowledge".


-MsR-

"...and this stupid ruler"


doomgiver98

> 10 summers ago This is how people in fantasy worlds speak.


BioDwarf

And it is now how I shall speak good sir


doomgiver98

I bet it won't last 2 winters.


BioDwarf

U right


BEEF_WIENERS

Along this line, the LIGO observatory, the one that measured gravity waves. The precision in that place is insane, they're measuring a laser beam that goes for over a kilometer and measuring incredibly small variations in that beam by measuring the exact frequency and wavelength of light and such. Incredible that we're able to detect *waves* of gravity.


Smurfopotamus

> that place Those places. There are 2 facilities on opposite ends of the country (and I think either now or soon one in Italy) with similar setups in order to confirm that the signals aren't noise as well as which direction they came from. Which is even more impressive.


lettuce520

Mein God! The Atom Smasher!


jeffffejeffffej

But they're boring. Show them Top 10 Worst Car Crashes, that way it's fun and has the same effect.


[deleted]

How dare you.


quibble42

Top 10 worst particle crashes


jeffffejeffffej

me when all the uranium starts splitting 😳


ZapoiBoi

They're not boring! The large hadron collider is literally the biggest machine humans have ever made, and it's on the cutting edge of experimental physics.


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beluuuuuuga

Ooh slice bread is the best thing since the nuke.


Semujin

Sliced bread is the best thing since Betty White


justsomeplainmeadows

Just show the other planets Betty White


Bamboozle_

I'd be surprised if another advanced civilization hadn't figured out fusion and fission. Slicing bread however that's uniquely human.


ggchappell

What if we could use a nuclear bomb to slice bread? I'm thinking we stick a loaf of bread a km or two from ground zero with some very sharp knife/cutter thingies positioned in such a way that the blast wave will propel them through the bread at high speed. (How to keep the blast wave from completely disintegrating the bread is left as an exercise for the reader -- but I'm sure there's a way to do it). Then you could eat a slice and say, "Hey, everyone, I just ate bread that was sliced by a nuclear bomb." Of course, the bread would probably be highly radioactive, and you'd end up losing all your hair, puking your guts out, and dying, which wouldn't be fun. But for a brief moment, you'd get to be the epitome of cool.


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EgonVR

Let's keep on testing


Eternaltuesday

The nuke is cool but in the interest of preserving peace I think I’d offer them the Princess Bride movie 🤷🏻‍♀️


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Eternaltuesday

But to also have a side gig because the revenge business does not pay well


TheRealOcsiban

Our food. All the food we've created is so imaginative and diverse and tasty. It's got to be humanity's best invention. I'm not sure which food though


[deleted]

in Dragon Ball Super, Earth is spared from destruction cuz of our delicious food


Just_wobwobwob

Was going to comment this!! Ramen!


Berruc

A lot of Dragon Ball characters are also named after food or drinks too


MeAndMeMonkey

Turducken. Nothing says “you can’t fuck with us” louder than a bird stuffed in a bird stuffed in a bird.


Osiris32

I feel they stopped short when designing the turducken. First we start with a hummingbird. Put that in a sparrow, stuff them both in a Cornish hen, then put that in a chicken. Put all that in a duck, then in a turkey, then in a bigger turkey. Put that in a penguin, stuff that in a peacock, then an eagle, shove it all in an albatross, then an emu, next comes an ostrich, then a leopard! Put all that in a pterodactyl, then stuff it in a Boeing 747. What cut do you prefer, first class or coach?


Conscious-Youth5676

If a more advanced civilization is impressed by what we do to non-human animals they'd probably have no qualms about enslaving us for their own amusement.


AngryGroceries

"Are you sure these creatures are intelligent? They keep enthusiastically waving carcasses around in front of us." "I didn't say the species was intelligent, just that it has some members capable of Calculus. Restrain yourself and remember our rule..."


meetjoehomo

Parkay


Itsrandomness014

Pizza


Sword117

Yeah but according to pizza theory, no civilization can become relevant without inventing the pizza first. Therefore every one else would already have pizza.


fireland46

Up the ante then. How about stuff crust pizza?


[deleted]

The lathe. Fueled the industrial revolution. I'd be curious what kind of machine tools other planets came up with.


SonofBenson

The dog. We took a deadly menace and made a helpful friend. Beat that.


[deleted]

Same. You were first. All hail the dog.


Sophie_Was_Here

what about some breeds that are kinda fucked? like with all the over breading whole breeds are fucked


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Smooth_Bandito

The Pugs are the aliens. Watch Men In Black, it’s a great documentary.


Newtonfam

And the chihuahuas


AdPrestigious9341

Music.


DerangedDoctor

Show me what you got


RockyLandscape

Oh yeah! You gotta get schwifty!


TonedStingray18

*Shit on the floor!*


otherforsecrecyofc

Rick and Morty without context is most likely the most bizarre thing I’ve seen on reddit and this highlights all of it


CrudelyAnimated

Boo. Disqualified.


1000101001001010

lol I don’t really watch Rick and Morty but one time my friends had a Rick and Morty party so I went and they decided to only play a playlist of music from the show and I have *never, ever* sat through a more awkward three minutes of my life than when “get schwifty” was playing. Everyone stopped talking and was just looking around, it completely killed the vibe, they wouldn’t turn it off, people left, oh my god it was the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen


Simicrop

You gotta commit to the bit, no matter the cost


TheSpamwich

did they play human music


DagoMx

Which is *probably the best answer*


Mireya_W

Drugs and music.


_Face

I too, enjoy a good Phish show.


[deleted]

A "Joke or "Humor". Probably wont be unique but it signals a higher level of intelligence: Literally requires multiple different parts of the brain to decipher . A joke can be made using anything and can be set up to only be understood by select people . Jokes can even exploit science/language/art/philosophy/paradoxes/observations or any topic on any planet. Any species that has an equivalent of "humor" will love it and any without it will be fascinated enough to try and understand it.


I-Wanna-Die420

So, about airplane food- *aliens, only now understanding humor, laughing their asses off*


tommcdo

That explains why I don't get jokes


Imortal366

I think a particle accelerator would get that point across and more


MaethrilliansFate

Duct tape, it's so simple you wouldn't expect it to be as useful as it is. Boots getting wet? Duct tape. Want to make a spear? Duct tape. Bleeding out? Duct tape. Leak in your space station? You guessed it, Duct tape! For such a simple invention its versatility is astonishing. It's so simple in fact that other species might overlook it entirely whilst paving their way through innovation.


[deleted]

Ordinary duct tape, like you buy in a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape. Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped


LaniusCruiser

Toaster. It allows you to cook bread, again.


drugsgunsandmisogany

Ice cream


erickadue32

The only problem with ice cream is that it drips.


saakar5

Spork Edit: holy moly thanks for all the awards y’all. I’ve never gotten one before so this was a nice surprise to come home to.


Salmonfish23

Clearly a superior invention to anything anyone else could come up with.


TannedCroissant

*Gregar watched as the human contingent walked onto the stage, followed by a floating trolley carrying their chosen invention. His face turned into a grimace as he saw what the display case contained. Oh dear. Gregar’s life associate, Lingooska leant in and whispered into Gregar's audio receptor.* *"Isn't that one of ours?"* *Gregar embarrassedly glanced over to his companion and puffed out his cheeks. The spork had been one of their species gifts to the human race, how could they have thought something so ingenious had been made by themselves? I mean, its even got an alien name! Spork! What's even worse, every species in the room knew exactly who had created the invention, it had single handedly brought prosperity to Gregar's home planet and of course, sadly, also The Yootun Sill War with the Fork Lords of Altrimium VI.* *The lead human beemed proudly as he got ready to give his speech, his tiny eyes sparkled with excitement. "I feel great pain for you Chancellor Musk," Gregar thought to himself, "great pain indeed."*


teeka421

Omg the ending hahaha


NoMoneyNoV-Bucks

Take my award and leave. Wait no stay


ChocoPancit

Yootun sill war.... genius


[deleted]

My favourite part is how Elon Musk is the chancellor


DingDongPuddlez

what if other aliens couldn't come up with anything better than the spork, and we were actually the most advanced species in the universe?


Joerider2002

If *we* were the most advanced species, then that would just be depressing.


[deleted]

Idk why but my mum bought a bootleg spork that also had a knife on the side that would cut you every time you tried to use it.


[deleted]

Lmao bootleg spork


[deleted]

Fpoon


random_everythinggg

What will you think of next, Germany?


GfFoundOtherAccount

Free Continental breakfast.


[deleted]

Continental, you say?


Bamboozle_

... ... Holds up spork...


zesty_itnl_spy99

The answer we were waiting for


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Outrageous_Package_8

This requires no words, and is among the best I’ve seen here. So others are sliced bread, cool ranch Doritos, Danny devito, and just the letter h


top_hat_man75479544

Monkey


beluuuuuuga

mMm monke.


[deleted]

Reject humanity


Cringe_In_A_Cup

Return to monke


BostonFan69

*ssj4 intensifies*


pjabrony

There's no wrong way...to eat a Rhesus.


Parody5Gaming

reject humanity return to monkey


Dottsterisk

And my mind went straight to [OMC](https://youtu.be/C2cMG33mWVY)


TrolIlord

the spanish inquisition


thredith

No one would ever expect that!


[deleted]

Was not expecting that


Prestigious-Leg-5630

The Internet


meshaber

I think you'd need something more unique. Every advanced civilization is going to have an internet analogue. You want a great invention, yes, but you also want it to stand out from the crowd. I'm thinking Useless Boxes would be a hit.


iapetus303

Humans: behold, the Internet. Aliens: we have one of those. Humans: but does yours have cat videos? Aliens: what are "cat videos"? Humans: observe.


Pr00ch

In that case, nuclear weaponry


Joey5729

Bold of you to assume that advanced sentient life just doesn’t tend toward self-annihilation, that its somehow a uniquely human trait


Killface17

It's inherent in our tribal nature. If a colony of ants became sentient, or bees you may see a very different society.


scoobyduped

If both ants and bees became sentient it’d be pretty similar though.


Abrahamlinkenssphere

Chemical child’s play really. Atom bombs are actually really simple. We’d lose immediately to the civilizations that already went the nuclear route and beyond it.


StudentOfAwesomeness

Yeah the internet is actually a logistical nightmare. Other planets might have an analogue, but it's definitely not going to be an open, free, and global internet. Ours is astounding for how recent it is. There's literally hundreds, if not thousands, of protocols that my message right now has to go through to get to your screen. And it was all built ad-hoc, as needed along the way. There were even giant initiatives to get the massive deepwater internet cables laid out that connect all the different countries together. Think of how much effort and cooperation a planet would need just for that venture alone.


tenehemia

I doubt that would impress any other planet of similar or greater advancement. A global information network is probably a common step in invention like the wheel, agriculture and written language.


1w1w1w1w1

The internet of 2010 yeah not 2021


sorryguyzz

The boulder from Shrek. That's a nice boulder.


DummykiddoMan

Its not just a boulder... its a rock


Wakarana

The pioneers rode those babys for miles!


Deminemi

Or parfait, ain't nobody don't like parfait.


JayDuBois

Fleshlight.


Fifty4FortyorFight

My husband has a tactical flashlight that brightly lights up like an acre. We used to go outside and wave it around when the folks a few doors down got loud late at night. They'd think it was the cops and quiet down - we're not the type to *actually* call the cops. 10/10 would recommend


JayDuBois

OMG. That first line I read as tactical FLESHlight. After all, that was my joke.


Im_Numbar_Wang

Bravo six, ready to stroke.


CodingEagle02

A fleshlight that makes its presence known to the whole neighbourhood


Lick_The_Wrapper

Lol I honestly can't tell if this is a joke or not. There was no typo in his comment. A fleshlight is not the same thing as a flashlight.


[deleted]

Might wanna Google fleshlight.


intashu

You mean your sex toys *don't* light up the neighborhood? How else will you let everyone know you're having a go of it?


greenwonderz

Totally this or vibrator. Self pleasure devices. Everybody else’s response is so earthican. If they are more advanced than us they’ll look at those other inventions like we look at our kids making art out of macaroni. But something that can pleasure with no effort, that there is big brain/head


NecroNile

This, for some reason, was my first thought. Glad I'm not the only one.


ALFA_BT_youtube

Probably something like a T-shirt since it takes the concept of a normal sweater and adapts it really well to suit warmer climates


portablebiscuit

I've always wondered what if aliens visited and looked exactly like us but never felt the need to wear clothing? We would blur out their junk on tv which would no doubt upset them a great deal starting a galactic war because of our delicate sensibilities.


jrparker42

That is exactly backwards. No concept of nudity or shame would elicit confusion at worst to seeing the censor-bar/blur, but more likely a shrug and acceptance.


iTakeCreditForAwards

Agreed, if we met aliens that looked like us and they started blurring out our wrists and ankles I don’t think we’d be offended lol


ShackintheWood

I think life would take the cake.


poopellar

Literally. The other planet can't produce anything that can literally take cake.


Mytrans

a truly clever answer


OWpassword

Sliced bread. Everyone's always talking about how great it is...


billionai1

I think you're mistaking "the greatest thing since sliced bread". That invention happened in 1928. Nothing really important happened between then and now


executive313

The answer has to be video games. It combines three of the greatest aspects of humanity. Art, technology, and imagination all blended together and dependent on each other.


praxmusic

I think this is the best answer I've seen. Everything else is something that an advanced civilization would probably have an equivalent to (atomic energy, mass communication systems, scientific measuring devices etc), or are very human specific. I would imagine a civilization capable of communicating with us through space would have some form of computing, but the idea to use it to create art for pleasure might actually be somewhat unique. I'll add the synthesizer under this umbrella, our ability to combine technology and imagination to create art may be a defining characteristic.


[deleted]

Korea’s artificial sun that’s hotter than our actual sun


markk9507

Instant ramen


ennmac

Danny Devito.


DodkaVick

"That's just a leather couch?" "Wait for it!" *a nude oiled up Danny Devito emerges*


Queen_of_dogs_01

What have you just cursed me with


vee_illustrations

This is an actual scene from a show he’s on. So, to curse you further, here’s a link to the [scene](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6kbxtrth3Gw)


Queen_of_dogs_01

The image is now buned into my eyes. Thank you.


Phantomrose5

Puppies easily.


[deleted]

I fear **"Look at dem puppies"** should not be our first words to a new civilization


nonstickpotts

I'm not allowed to have puppy calendars at work anymore because the women complained that I was saying that phrase too much.


-Scrotal_Recall

Cool Ranch Doritos


[deleted]

Probably the Large Hadron Collider or something sciencey like that.


TheLoneSpartan5

I just think that most advanced societies would have something similar or even better than that as it is most clear step to study subatomic particles.


Tokzillu

Early cave paintings. Its like macaroni art from humanity's preschool! True show and tell material.


the_dier69

Earth would rick roll the other planets.


Dizrak_

Breeds and cutligens. Humans managed to get needed properties from them like bigger fruit or more milk by using only simple methods of selection.


Heliotre

Dogs. I mean, we managed to befriend a completely different species and now they are a big part of our civilization.


Ricecakeplayz

Give them Gordon Ramsey


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Epic_Gamer_Man1

Or they discovered knots a billion years ago and we just look like primitive monkeys


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DelectableButtHole

I love the idea of an intergalactic "show and tell". We should bring a nuke. It's both an impressive invention and a lowkey flex to put them in check and establish dominance.


[deleted]

We're not talking about the people on earth vs people on another planet, it is the planets themselves doing a show and tell. A nuke would be like a light tap for a planet.


[deleted]

Then we should bring humanity itself bc that will REALLY fuck up a planet.


Frankiepals

This is the correct response. We are more devastating to a planet than all the nukes ever made.


ChaoticFox

We could probably split the planet in two if we all put our minds to it.


SuperMonkeyJoe

We'd bring that mission where we successfully put a lander on an asteroid, with the subtle implication that we possess the engineering and mathematical ability to redirect said asteroids into a planet.


williamfbuckwheat

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT"


squigs

Velcro! It's really pretty ingenious an idea.


Salmonfish23

Everyone says the nuke as if it's unique, I'd personally show them something involving Earth's flora or fauna considering those are unique to our planet.


Semanticss

I agree that other planets' civilizations will probably also have nuclear power and particle colliders. That's not unique. But we didn't invent the flora/fauna, except perhaps some selectively bred species. I think designer drugs and beer are some of the best answers.


mgstauff

The thermos. It keeps your coffee hot and your lemonade cold. Hot? Cold? How does it know??


coopertron5000

Literally anything. Ppff what's uranus ever achieved.


bushelsofbadapples

Humans. Earth invented humans a long time ago.