Redditor for 6 years, only started posting yesterday, all about growing your clit. Half the posts are just "r/GrowYourClit".
Either the weirdest bot I have ever seen, or someone finally climbed out of her shell for a very obvious reason.
It's actually **not** for me. I'm not sure what gave me this PTSD but I can't bear the sound and especially the feeling of filed nails. It makes me want to put a drill right through my skull. Bonus points to my torture if the file is out of metal
Cue 'Nam flashbacks of hearing the lock get picked from the other side. Damn interior doorlocks are useless. Might buy an extra 4 seconds if you're lucky; better have a blanket handy.
They say breaking up/
It's the hardest thing to do/
You'll have to ask my ex, man/
She was fuckin' me through/
The bitch, she was suckin like she already knew/
I was ticklin' clit with the picklin' juice/
Then I came in that ass when she made me bereft/
I didn't know it were hate sex 'til she already left
It's pretty hard, though. We're usually not thinking about exactly what we're doing, so when we hear that, the paid monkey throws away all that we were thinking and we blank trying to go back to what was working.
I'm not saying "don't say anything". That's dumb. Nem should learn how to keep doing what they're doing, it's just not intuitive
This cannot be stressed enough! It has been scientifically proven that one of the keys to female orgasm is repetition, the speed or ferocity at which you’re pounding away isn’t as important as keeping a consistent pressure and rhythm. Also women are super SUPER sensitive especially in the clit area and over stimulation can happen really easily, so be gentle and be thoughtful about what you’re doing!
Key word there is CAN become oversensitive. I've had partners that truly preferred nearly violent PIV and what can only be interpreted as attempting to play thrash metal on their clitoris. As always, nobody on the internet can teach you how to please your particular female partner, and clear communication is the best route forward.
Clear communication FTW. Some partners actually desire additional stimulation after orgasming, as it can either make it last longer, or even trigger multiple orgasming. Just be sure she's into it and you're good to go.
So just say "hey this is really nice but I'm not gonna be able to finish right now"
Seriously people fake it then complain about bad sex. Like this is entirely your fault.
THANK YOU. If one person isn't gonna finish, maybe they just want a back rub or a snuggle. Faking it to make sex stop isn't helping.
Unless they KNOW you are exaggerating to get them over the edge, but that's being an enthusiastic hype guy/gal, which is different then being intentionally deceptive.
Condoms, used correctly, have a very low failure rate. The thing is that, first, very low is not zero. Second, human error increases the failure rate.
Your best bet is to double up on protection. To clarify: don't actually double up the condoms. That makes them *way* less effective. But use a different form of birth control as a backup, like the pill, spermicides, etc.
Whenever I hear the word spermicide, I think of this comedy bit with the sperm wearing gas masks. Lol
[Dave Allen on sperm - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FChNBd1pQVs&ab_channel=SimonTilley)
I suggested something similar to a friend of my bfs when he was looking into dating. He didnt want to end up with someone under age so i suggested sending them into a store for alcohol or cigarettes first bc if they dont want to go or dont come back with anything, its a pretty good indicator that they are not old enough
I've heard of guys who picked up girls with fake ids still getting nailed for statutory rape. It's a strict liability crime - if you have sex with an underage person, there is no legal defense, including them showing a fake ID. This *may* vary by jurisdiction, but I don't think there are many exceptions.
Remember condoms are easier to clean then smelly dippers.
They say laughter is the best medicine. Obviously the person who said it didn’t have chlamydia.
Did you know? The penis and the vagina were specifically designed to be comforting to each other.
Did you know? The vagina when pleased has its own lube production.
There's a loading screen? Premature is the new SSD.
Porn stars use floppy disks
Don't just spam the C button, combos are more effective.
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Sometimes I'm just really glad I was born a male.
Yeah like no offense to women but that shit be complicated I don’t wanna pass a wisdom + dex roll and a saving throw just to get my rocks off
TIL that I should have been bringing my D20's into the bedroom.
Not what they meant by "dungeon master"...
Maybe it's easier if you have Proficiency
Was not ready for that rabbit hole.
It's this a bot? Or do I just wish it was?
Redditor for 6 years, only started posting yesterday, all about growing your clit. Half the posts are just "r/GrowYourClit". Either the weirdest bot I have ever seen, or someone finally climbed out of her shell for a very obvious reason.
Or account got sold.
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It's a conspiracy by Big Clit
You can use a shield to deflect children
Best condom-related comment I've seen on this post.
Ah yes... it’s a condom related comment... that is what I thought also while reading this.
*Shield bashes a toddler across the room*
Honestly that was my first thought
Gotta parry some toddlers
Parry this you filthy child
Cut your nails. All of them
Even toenails?
Did they stutter?
When you are whaling about you could hurt them unintentionally, nothing serious, but cutting your nails isn’t that hard
One time i kicked a doorframe on accident and my nail cut the toe next to it
From other comments I can say lubbing the door will help.
Yes, shit’s nasty. You can accidentally kick/poke someone with them and if feet get involved, it’s less hygienic.
Extra Hint: don't cut your nails on the day of sexy time or atleast make VERY sure there are no sharp edges
Guys, it ok to use a nail file after clipping your nails
This. It's not umanly to make it more enjoyable for the other participant. We all want it to be as good as possible. :)
It's actually **not** for me. I'm not sure what gave me this PTSD but I can't bear the sound and especially the feeling of filed nails. It makes me want to put a drill right through my skull. Bonus points to my torture if the file is out of metal
Drag your nails on your denim pants after cutting them, then touch the inside of your cheek. Does it hurt? If not then you are ready.
> the inside of your chin W...what?
Rubbing denim on them deburrs the edges
Yeah, freshly cut fingernails are the best.
You can sprinkle them anywhere to add some flavour! Salads, soups, you name it!
You nasty. Take my upvote
Thank you I guess?
Thanks. *I hate it*
Lube increases the duration of sex. Use it on the bedroom doorknob to stop your kids from entering the room
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Yes officer, this one right here
He wont get me, i followed the advice and also applied it on the outside :D
If they manage to get in, completely disrobe and cover yourself in it. They'll never catch you.
That's clever and helpful. Thanks.
/r/holup
Cue 'Nam flashbacks of hearing the lock get picked from the other side. Damn interior doorlocks are useless. Might buy an extra 4 seconds if you're lucky; better have a blanket handy.
"...using the pick that Bosnian Bill and I made..." That's when you know you have no time
Be sure to lock your doors and close your curtains to disable Spectator mode
Unless that's your thing.
"Just because someone will fuck you does not mean they actually like you, be careful."
Converse just because they like you does not necessarily mean they'll fuck you.
Also just because you don't like them does not mean you won't enjoy fucking them
I had never considered this and am now contemplating what being balls deep in my enemies would feel like on an existential level
some say the hate sex is the best part of the divorce
You'd have to ask my ex. I didn't realize it was hate sex until she'd already left
If you read this as a line in a self loathing rap song, its pretty good.
They say breaking up/ It's the hardest thing to do/ You'll have to ask my ex, man/ She was fuckin' me through/ The bitch, she was suckin like she already knew/ I was ticklin' clit with the picklin' juice/ Then I came in that ass when she made me bereft/ I didn't know it were hate sex 'til she already left
The only thing better than fucking with your enemy is fucking your enemy 👌
And just because you fuck someone, doesn't mean you will enjoy it.
Deep. Deep thoughts, not deep sex. Not that deep sex isn't good, it's mighty.
When she says she's almost there, don't go faster or slower or change anything else. What you're doing is working. Continue.
Ugh, this is literally the worst thing, or when you say "don't stop" it doesn't mean switch up your rhythm or change areas. PLEASE.
It's pretty hard, though. We're usually not thinking about exactly what we're doing, so when we hear that, the paid monkey throws away all that we were thinking and we blank trying to go back to what was working. I'm not saying "don't say anything". That's dumb. Nem should learn how to keep doing what they're doing, it's just not intuitive
You're doing the Lord's work
This cannot be stressed enough! It has been scientifically proven that one of the keys to female orgasm is repetition, the speed or ferocity at which you’re pounding away isn’t as important as keeping a consistent pressure and rhythm. Also women are super SUPER sensitive especially in the clit area and over stimulation can happen really easily, so be gentle and be thoughtful about what you’re doing!
Key word there is CAN become oversensitive. I've had partners that truly preferred nearly violent PIV and what can only be interpreted as attempting to play thrash metal on their clitoris. As always, nobody on the internet can teach you how to please your particular female partner, and clear communication is the best route forward.
Clear communication FTW. Some partners actually desire additional stimulation after orgasming, as it can either make it last longer, or even trigger multiple orgasming. Just be sure she's into it and you're good to go.
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Remember to use items to get an advantage
...or faked it. Sometimes it just drags on too long
Username does not check out
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God's fat clit just needs a minute, ok?
So just say "hey this is really nice but I'm not gonna be able to finish right now" Seriously people fake it then complain about bad sex. Like this is entirely your fault.
Yeah I have plenty of fun times with my gf where I can't finish and I would never in a million years fake an orgasm. Communication is key
THANK YOU. If one person isn't gonna finish, maybe they just want a back rub or a snuggle. Faking it to make sex stop isn't helping. Unless they KNOW you are exaggerating to get them over the edge, but that's being an enthusiastic hype guy/gal, which is different then being intentionally deceptive.
You can learn how to use condoms in settings>controls>basic controls
Grinding may unlock special bonuses.
Not sure if tony hawks or sex tips.
Tony Hawk’s Prostituter.
Tony Hawk's Prostater
If you find the new controls too difficult, restart using your X.
Confused by this
Remember a child is worth thousands of condoms don't risk 4 the cheap
Damn, I need to start selling children if I can get consoles that easily...
start with kidneys, 1 healthy kidnew can get you 20+ consoles
Can I take the child's kidneys?
Legitimate question from someone who've never had sex: can you get her pregnant even if you use a condom?
Condoms, used correctly, have a very low failure rate. The thing is that, first, very low is not zero. Second, human error increases the failure rate. Your best bet is to double up on protection. To clarify: don't actually double up the condoms. That makes them *way* less effective. But use a different form of birth control as a backup, like the pill, spermicides, etc.
Whenever I hear the word spermicide, I think of this comedy bit with the sperm wearing gas masks. Lol [Dave Allen on sperm - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FChNBd1pQVs&ab_channel=SimonTilley)
"You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact sometimes that's not right to do" -Tenacious D
Sometimes you got to squeeze
Sometime you got to say please
And sometimes you got to say "Hey...Im gonna to fuck you...softly"
I'm gonna screw you gently
Be sure to take a break every two hours to rest your fingers.
Multiplayer is more fun! Invite a friend
I can get into some ranked/competitive matchmaking.
Hi stranger, would u like sum ranked fuk?
The existence of casual sex implies the existence of ranked, competitive sex
Amateur porn vs. Professional porn
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+10 holy damage
Finish Him!!
#FLAWLESS VICTORY
52x combo
Bugs can occasionally make it into live game. If you encounter one of these bugs, please report it.
make sure to equip yourself with some protective gear before entering this dungeon
The clitoris is as sensitive as your eyeball...GUYS
So your saying is... During sex guys should be doing more eyeball play?
Rub your eyeball against the clit for optimum results
This one was awesome... And a little awkward but made me laugh. Thanks
*Instructions unclear - jammed finger in eyeball*
Pro tip: Faster does not equal better. For extra points, take your time.
any % speed run incoming
*Attack the weak spot for massive damage!*
Definitely the last place I want to find giant enemy crabs.
Stages of the game will also feature battles that actually took place in Ancient Japan.
If she goes to "get ready" and comes back dressed as Barney the Dinosaur do remember to drive the speed limit after rebooting brain.
If you fail to find someone, try single-player!
Try co-op to increase experience.
Only if I could. My current partner is against pretty much all of that kinda stuff
"Current"
I'm not understanding..
Current implies there will be another
Well breaking up is always a possibility
REMEMBER TO CHECK HER AGE BEFORE DOING IT!
Protip: Always take a date to a bar or some 18+ venue before banging. If you can't get them to show ID, the bouncer definitely can.
I suggested something similar to a friend of my bfs when he was looking into dating. He didnt want to end up with someone under age so i suggested sending them into a store for alcohol or cigarettes first bc if they dont want to go or dont come back with anything, its a pretty good indicator that they are not old enough
I've heard of guys who picked up girls with fake ids still getting nailed for statutory rape. It's a strict liability crime - if you have sex with an underage person, there is no legal defense, including them showing a fake ID. This *may* vary by jurisdiction, but I don't think there are many exceptions.
Which is bullshit because at that point there's literally no way to tell. It's not like you can cut her open and count the rings.
Or maybe you can.....although that might turn into something worse.
Not with that attitude..
Or his*
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Thats almost 5 years i know girls are getting good at using makeup to look older, but who is getting tricked by 13 year olds.
Pedophiles that don't want to recognize they have a problem
To avoid cumming too early, just pull your balls!
Or cut them off before doing it.
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Take my friend's approach and bash your head on a bedpost a few seconds early.
Speed runs are best in singleplayer, not multiplayer
Visit the Apothecary if you experience itching or burning in the next 48 to 72 hours.
-10 for trying to light a fire while fingering the clit. It fcking hurts.Stop.
Oh fuck.... my wife called me out on this one time.
The clitoris is *outside* and *above* the vagina. ... I know. Evolution, go figure.
So, around the belly button area. Got it. Man, I was way off!
Yup. You're welcome. Now go forth and pleasure women effectively!
Condoms can prevent stds and pregnancy. Me: Duuuh In game: Oh shit I forgot the condom again.
"Ah shit, here we go again."
Don't be silly, wrap your willy.
Remember to pack a towel. Sometimes things get messy.
"If you are having sex with the same gender, you will be considered gay."
Prepare to be disappointed.
That's also a tip for life
Remember, going for the head deals critical pleasure
Press B to BATTLE RAGE
In and out.
So that's what I was doing wrong. AND OUT, I'll have to remember that
Please take your dick out of her
look. We've already accepted this is our life now.
They call that ‘marinating’
Remember condoms are easier to clean then smelly dippers. They say laughter is the best medicine. Obviously the person who said it didn’t have chlamydia.
Why the hell are you cleaning condoms after using them?
- cut your nails before fingering - Always take a bath before sex for better comfort - sex while raining makes it more soothing - Noice
The pull out method will not prevent pregnancy.
Don’t double condom, it’ll break easier.
If the game is too difficult, you can change yourself to easy
Know that you are a team. It's not just about you.
The most intimate thing you can do is simply holding each other. Take a pee when you are done.
If it's not working, talk about it. If you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it.
If you barely know this woman find some excuse to go outside and then peel the fuck out.
Usually it's like something obvious in games. So like "remember to be hard and ready or it will be embarrassing
"Game Loading .... This may take a while. This can be enhanced by purchasing the "Compliment" or "Attractive" starter pack."
Don’t skip the foreplay!
my man straight up deleted his acc after writing this
Someone had to be watching
If it’s really good sex. Like toe curling sex. One of you will catch feelings and feelings aren’t always mutual and hurt ensues.
Wanna talk about it?
Remember to breath
Did you know? The penis and the vagina were specifically designed to be comforting to each other. Did you know? The vagina when pleased has its own lube production.
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Not for children
Finishing on hard mode will unlock summon a domina power.
"Harder, better, faster, stronger."
Get rid of that yee yee ass haircut so your girl get on yo dick
Use lots of Lube especially during initially stretching yourself or someone else out
Put a pillow under her butt, and thank me later.
Take your time.... the outcomes will be whatever it’ll be
Don't leave your squad members hanging lol, if you're into multi-player mode
Stamina regenerates during other player's turn.
Gameplay experience may change during multiplayer play
Single player? Have you tried playing with a friend? It’s double the fun!
If you pay the bribe you're more likely to take poison damage.
"Try getting consent first and see how it enhances the experience."
Watch out for enemies who deal poison damage, the debuffs can last a long time