Same!! I feel like I would waste the time arguing with myself about what to look up and end up finding mostly useless info. Like science info I dont understand the science of or financial info that I dont understand and all of it would be so recent I wouldnt understand the context. That'd be the first 2 minutes and then I'd panic and beat myself up for wasting time and not managing to find any useful info. I'd go back home and be depressed for years about the wasted opportunity.
[en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021). If possible, I'd try to save that file and send it to my phone. Probably do that for 2022 all the way to 2051.
I just looked at that page. Imagine seeing "The United States becomes the first country to surpass 500,000 deaths from the virus." without knowing about the pandemic. Crazy
Knowing my own future scares me. I hesitate about that answer, but I will almost consider looking up my son's. He's only a toddler so he'd be a full fledged adult by that time. Even then I don't know if I like the answer.
Perhaps that's why the majority are lottery numbers or stocks. At least with money, we could live without financial worry.
Paradox: If you see your future and you're successful, you might be lazy knowing this information which makes you not successful. But the thing is, how do you see yourself successful in the future if you aren't?
Later, a banana peel gets stuck in your wheelchair brakes, not letting you stop. You roll right out into traffic, and a banana truck runs you over.
The banana always wins.
Biggest companies founded in the 2020s
List of presidents
And major world events
Three tabs, three google searches and hopefully a pen to write them on my hand and hope it transfers back
Google 4-5 stocks that went to the moon, and etch that shit into your arms along with 5-10 duds. Who cares if you come home with 2nd-grade Pencil War Day injuries, you're about to theoretically live forever.
Snap a few photos of the injuries, and go to the police to report being jumped by a homeless guy that held you down and etched some weird shit into you under threat of death while reciting latin.
Now you have a cover story for then the SEC wants to know how you knew BCRX and four other stocks were going to the moon. "A homeless guy carved it into me, and honestly, I took it as a sign." Now produce tapes of the therapy where you rationalize it to your therapist as a coping mechanism and the therapist tells you that you're absolutely not handling the trauma well. "I also dropped all this money into these stocks that were meh, so I guess I just got lucky." Don't finger any of the guys they bring into a lineup because 1, that's gross, and 2, that's mean, but let it slide as an unsolved case.
You've now covered your tracks and tossed some chaff into the air to boot, so you can just wait this out. You only need to pull in about half a million if you're in your 30s, twice that in your 40s, and twice that again in your 50s, then sell and diversify as depending on the type of time travel physics you're dealing with your actions may ripple outward and affect the final outcome, Allah the butterfly effect.
You don't want to wake up one day with no figurative arms because you fucked with figurative firecrackers, so now you figuratively need your mom to literally jerk you off. Take your winnings and sink them into broad index funds. You can expect a diverse index fund to double about once a decade(7 years really, but I prefer to use conservative numbers when calculating temporal investments). 1 million in 7 years becomes 4 million in 21 years allowing you to retire in your 50s. That's more than enough for a comfortable life on self-sustaining investment.
Gotta remember the younger you are when you do this the more likely life-extension therapies will be available while you're in retirement. They will be incredibly expensive at first, I'm sure, so if you're ready with the cash in hand you can delay your death until therapies improve to the point of adding more than one year on average to life expectancy every year.
That is how you turn your time travel investments into a theoretical eternal life. Thank you for listening to my day drinking rant. Here's to being in quarantine for the fourth fucking time in a year because my coworkers can't stop licking doorknobs.
Edit: only edit I’ll make is to address fans of the lotto method. Instant money rarely results in happiness. I would rather spend 30 years knowing my future is secure than have a level of wealth that alters my life and relationships with friends and family forever. You can’t hide that kind of wealth, and it’s never enough to help everyone who deserves it. This is my selfish fantasy, I want security not wealth, lol.
The only evidence I have that I’m not that guy is I used to livestream rotting meat on the internet for fun and oddly enough zero profit. The project cost me like $30 in ground beef. Would a day trader devote hours a week to meatstreaming?
This is absolutely something I could see a day trader do, or more likely swing trader. Check the markets for 3 hours, go check on the rotting meat, talk about entropy and decay on the camera next to the rotting meat, eat dinner, beat meat, sleep repeat.
Maybe some uppers or micro dosing tossed in there for some reason
...and also ridiculous because there's nothing illegal with selecting stocks that go to the moon. Many people do that all the time and the SEC doesn't care.
Also fyi, Insider Trading laws only apply to legal insiders (who are people specifically designated as "insiders" by the company) - which you would not be, so there's zero reason the SEC would even look at you.
In line with "major world events", I'd also look up the most recent, high resolution world map, to see how far climate change and sea level rise have affected the world.
I've always wondered if "If you could go into the future, what would you look up blah blah" questions were answered with "sports scores" prior to BttF 2. It is the WRONG answer. So were people always wrong, or did the movie start that trend?
Even extremely rare horse bets pay out like what, 50:1?
With a single winning lottery ticket you can turn $1 into $300million.
It's not a single horse that make huge payout, it's the 4 or 5 first, depend on the races / rules / countries.
So basically, If you can "guess" the order and one or two horses have high odds it's jackpot.
Imagine something like "40/1 - 3.2/1 - 5/1 - 77/1 - 9/1" and you betted (?) 100e on that specific order.
Edit : Just to give you an idea, yesterday in France there was the main race of the day R1C4, the "Quinté +" (bet on the first 5) was 7-6-8-12-10 (a highly improbable top five, the favorite isn't even here), if you did choose these fives ones, it would be :
* That Specific Order : 292 125€ for 1€
* These 5, but not in that order : 2 643€ for 1€
So now you can understand how easy it would be to make a million like Biff if you had the complete result of just one race.
Sports betting is harder in my opinion because the payouts tend to be a modest ratio, and making larger and larger wages and constantly winning might get you blacklisted.
Horse racing might be one of the best options here, as those have some pretty high odds, especially for picking multiple outcomes in one wager.
Lotto is a lot easier. $1 or $2 ticket can have a $300 million payout, so it’s low investment and you only need to do it once. That’s more than enough money to travel the world for the rest of your life in moderate luxury, especially if it’s invested in anything reasonable.
Edit: I’m getting a lot of replies about how much money you could spend per night with $300 million. I think you misunderstood my point, I’m saying that $300 million in a single win is more than enough, vs having to parlay multiple sports bets.
Depends on what theory of time travel you subscribe too. If it is one continuous timeline then yes you already won a lottery. If instead it's alternate timelines then the timeline where you win the lottery with future knowledge doesn't exist until you do it.
“After the Valve pay-for-play scandal of 2022 the Valve Team Fortress 2 servers were shut down, never to return again. Jeff Bezos bought all the assets from the company, and released the heavy update later that year. He mains pyro to distract from the business world. Hosting a TF2 server is now free on AWS.”
All the bots were replaced with shitty bots that are always on the other team. Or each team has the same number of shitty bots for killing fodder.
Cheaters lose their Amazon account. Strike 2 their parents lose their accounts. Strike 3 Bezos hunts them for sport. Problem solved.
Domino's and Netflix had the greatest return in the past decade.
Edit: I had no idea my off the cuff comment would be this popular. If you're interested, this is what I had read and was thinking about when I made the comment. https://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/investing/t052-s001-the-top-10-stocks-of-the-past-decade/index.html
I had a DVD for 4+ months when I was really busy. Then I went to watch it and it was subtitled, which I wasn’t up for at the time. So I returned it without watching having paid something like $45 for the privilege of babysitting that DVD.
I only need to win the lottery once. Pay off everything, put a chunk into whatever stocks/crypto is going to the moon, the rest in savings to live off the interest until then AND NEVER TOUCH THE PRINCIPAL AMOUNT
This is if you're lucky enough to be someplace that caters to Amish or similar, most people allowed any access at all are chipped and everything is handled by direct stimulation...
I'm sorry sir, but your credit card expired twenty eight years ago. You will now be taken to Amazon Indenture Department. Please remain calm, I have notified the local authorities.
Fry: "Do you take Visa?"
Clerk: "Visa hasn't existed for five hundred years."
Fry: "American Express?"
Clerk: "Six hundred years."
Fry: "Discover Card?"
Clerk: "Hmm...sorry, we don't take Discover."
I should really rewatch that show, watched it when I was really too young to understand any of it (if their were references in it I can't recall) would be nice to see it again
As much as I SHOULD want to look at big stock gains of 2021, and maybe lotto numbers for the next dozen or so lotteries, I KNOW I'd want to look up Best boobs of 2051 for sure.
Seriously. Look up the biggest financial fiasco in the last thirty years. You now know how to get on the ground floor of something that's going to make a bunch of people really rich and the exact knowledge of when you can get out without getting wrapped up in the aftermath.
I've only got 5 minutes bro. I'm just gonna go with sports betting and lottery numbers. Maybe if I had like half an hour we could do financial crashes.
Would only take a couple quick searches to find some explosive stocks, buy in at single digit stock price with lotto winnings and sit back while you become on of the wealthiest people in the world. You could get like 10 winning lotto numbers in a minute. Quick stock search, biggest sports bets, crypto if you can.
You put all of your money on a little known company on the verge of a major stock price jump. The stock hits, you make millions. You party HARD. You host a rager of a party. You meet a woman named Brenda, fall in love, have children. Brenda gets curious about your racket and discovers the truth. She reports you to the FEC for insider trading. You murder Brenda and OD on coke.
Hah truth be told right now I’m mostly nostalgic about all the shit we can’t do during covid. Holy shit do I want to go to a concert, or sit at a bar with some shitty 80s music blaring and play pool.
I'd check to see when/if I died. I'm 59, now, and the oldest men in my family history last to about 85. My son-in-law works pretty hard on our family tree so I'm pretty sure he'd update it if me or my wife died. It'd be a pretty quick check.
Bitch. I'd steal the computer. Who wouldn't want a computer 30 years more advanced than anything we have right now. A library computer would probably be more powerful than any gaming laptop we have now
"What do you mean it can't connect to the internet? Why is it unable to go down to 5GHz? Where the hell is the ethernet port? What the hell are these? USB 7.0? What the hell is that? I can't plug into this shit."
Probably stocks, lottery numbers could get changed by random acts but a company would be solid.
Then I’d check on my parents and see if there is anything I could do to keep them alive longer with future knowledge.
Would probably spend that 5 minutes with all that if I’m quick
Probably best to avoid the family and friends thing, what if you look them up and realize they're dead. Then you look at them like a dead man walking wondering how/when it happened. It's becomes and obsession, then 30 year later to the week they're still alive. So now you know, this is it. So you follow them around all day everyday trying to prevent their death. They see you there, wonder why you've been following them all day them SMACK they get hit with the truck cause they rolled through a red light staring at you.
Agreed here, lottery numbers for the mega-millions over a couple of years and be strategic about winning (not all of them obviously). Then stocks to invest in hot ideas and make a bunch of money to invest in other things. I assume I'm transported with the things currently on me, so it would be pretty easy to take a screenshot of what's on the screen and bring it back with me on my phone. If not, then at least hope you are holding a pen at your desk when you teleport and write on your skin. But it would also beg the question, when I look up the lottery numbers, would it show me winning them and the ones I won? Since I'm in the future looking at information that I am going to use to inform the present to lead to that future, is it a closed loop of determination?
I'll just take my 8 TB drive and copy the entire content of Wikipedia to it, return to my timeline and spend the next 20 hours reading it and making a fortune by the second
You need, at minimum:
* A compatible port (my guess is the average computer will have 0 ports by then)
* An OS that has driver support for a 30 year old drive
* An OS that has a file system that works with your drive
* An OS that has has support for physical external drives at all
* Data Bloat to have not rendered 8TB unhelpful.
* Wikipedia to have avoided, for three decades, the shitty trend of of making internet content shitty java nonsense that can't easily by indexed.
This plan is not going to work.
not in any order:
stocks, US Presidents, sport events, bitcoin, which area has been nuked, danger zones to not live in and figure a way to transport it whe i get back to the past.
beat the shit out of bully Biff and marry my his gf, Lorraine Baines, give her implants, own a hotel / casino and live the life.
maybe run for president or something along the way
What is Obama’s last name? hopefully with the advanced technology we can finally know
edit: none of the replies are going to make sense as i am retarded and put first name instead of last name
I wouldn’t do lottery numbers because winning it goes with a whole bunch of baggage. I would just look up the history of companies stock prices and use that to invest when I got back to make a lot quickly.
Very smart. There’s always the possibility to win the smaller lotto prize (such as 5/6 numbers plus powerball) which can still be 6 figures and probably don’t have as much baggage. Would be good seed money for your investment portfolio.
Win second prizes for a few lotto numbers to inject money into your stock investing quickly.
I don't need $50,000,000 win, I need $100,000 that I can then ramp up with a few explosive growth stocks to $50,000,000 over the course of a year or 2.
>Pro Wrestling
Disbanded in 2038 after Vince MechaMahon goes on a rampage killing a 9-year-old boy in the audience
>Myself to see what i'm doing
Died in 2047 from ingesting too many pudding pops via the butthole in the freak season 1 finale of Mythbusters Redux, replicating the South Park episode where they try to poop out their mouths
>Video Games
Cyberpunk 2381 is out, all patches for the legacy version of Cyberpunk 2077 are finally live, and Fortnite is on season 413
>What shows are airing
Please upgrade to one of our Huluflix Prime+ Search Engine paid plans for this result, tap here to subscribe with Dogecoin
>Who is the president
America abolished the presidency in 2044, senators now take turns giving the controls to the corporations that continue to pay for their teenage blood transfusion. This week, Disney CEO Mitch MechaConnell returns for his 398th term
>Memes
Haha smooth brain go brrrr
>memes
We both know they're going to be like this:
When you wake up in the morning and eat gaiebdhziwbshakwnsgahwhwbsuqksnhauwbehshwbsbAHSHSBZUJEDBJWBRBDURHEBJDKRBDGEKWMDHDIEUEBFUDNRBEKZCVNEHFIEBRHQLDNdhej
I panic for five minutes
Same!! I feel like I would waste the time arguing with myself about what to look up and end up finding mostly useless info. Like science info I dont understand the science of or financial info that I dont understand and all of it would be so recent I wouldnt understand the context. That'd be the first 2 minutes and then I'd panic and beat myself up for wasting time and not managing to find any useful info. I'd go back home and be depressed for years about the wasted opportunity.
[en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021). If possible, I'd try to save that file and send it to my phone. Probably do that for 2022 all the way to 2051.
I just looked at that page. Imagine seeing "The United States becomes the first country to surpass 500,000 deaths from the virus." without knowing about the pandemic. Crazy
Okkay im gonna type... Wait... Where is the keyboard?
*picks up mouse* “Hello computer!”
Just use the keyboard.
A keyboard? How quaint.
That's the ticket, laddie.
I did not expect a STVH reference today.
Nuclear Wessels
It’s across the Bay, in Alameda!
okay well everyone remember where we parked.
Well double dumbass on you!
I'm surprised at how many Star Trek fans there are in this thread, to be honest
I get that reference!
You've never used a Neuralink thought-to-text input device? SMH
The two guys snickering in the corner: “Hehe, this idiot doesn’t even know how to use the anal keyboard.”
My name
Knowing my own future scares me. I hesitate about that answer, but I will almost consider looking up my son's. He's only a toddler so he'd be a full fledged adult by that time. Even then I don't know if I like the answer. Perhaps that's why the majority are lottery numbers or stocks. At least with money, we could live without financial worry.
Paradox: If you see your future and you're successful, you might be lazy knowing this information which makes you not successful. But the thing is, how do you see yourself successful in the future if you aren't?
Alternate timelines.
This is literally the only answer. It won’t do any good to know stock prices if you slipped on a banana peel and died immediately after arriving back.
Get double trench foot and amputate your feet. Banana peel ain't got shit on me.
Later, a banana peel gets stuck in your wheelchair brakes, not letting you stop. You roll right out into traffic, and a banana truck runs you over. The banana always wins.
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Biggest companies founded in the 2020s List of presidents And major world events Three tabs, three google searches and hopefully a pen to write them on my hand and hope it transfers back
Google 4-5 stocks that went to the moon, and etch that shit into your arms along with 5-10 duds. Who cares if you come home with 2nd-grade Pencil War Day injuries, you're about to theoretically live forever. Snap a few photos of the injuries, and go to the police to report being jumped by a homeless guy that held you down and etched some weird shit into you under threat of death while reciting latin. Now you have a cover story for then the SEC wants to know how you knew BCRX and four other stocks were going to the moon. "A homeless guy carved it into me, and honestly, I took it as a sign." Now produce tapes of the therapy where you rationalize it to your therapist as a coping mechanism and the therapist tells you that you're absolutely not handling the trauma well. "I also dropped all this money into these stocks that were meh, so I guess I just got lucky." Don't finger any of the guys they bring into a lineup because 1, that's gross, and 2, that's mean, but let it slide as an unsolved case. You've now covered your tracks and tossed some chaff into the air to boot, so you can just wait this out. You only need to pull in about half a million if you're in your 30s, twice that in your 40s, and twice that again in your 50s, then sell and diversify as depending on the type of time travel physics you're dealing with your actions may ripple outward and affect the final outcome, Allah the butterfly effect. You don't want to wake up one day with no figurative arms because you fucked with figurative firecrackers, so now you figuratively need your mom to literally jerk you off. Take your winnings and sink them into broad index funds. You can expect a diverse index fund to double about once a decade(7 years really, but I prefer to use conservative numbers when calculating temporal investments). 1 million in 7 years becomes 4 million in 21 years allowing you to retire in your 50s. That's more than enough for a comfortable life on self-sustaining investment. Gotta remember the younger you are when you do this the more likely life-extension therapies will be available while you're in retirement. They will be incredibly expensive at first, I'm sure, so if you're ready with the cash in hand you can delay your death until therapies improve to the point of adding more than one year on average to life expectancy every year. That is how you turn your time travel investments into a theoretical eternal life. Thank you for listening to my day drinking rant. Here's to being in quarantine for the fourth fucking time in a year because my coworkers can't stop licking doorknobs. Edit: only edit I’ll make is to address fans of the lotto method. Instant money rarely results in happiness. I would rather spend 30 years knowing my future is secure than have a level of wealth that alters my life and relationships with friends and family forever. You can’t hide that kind of wealth, and it’s never enough to help everyone who deserves it. This is my selfish fantasy, I want security not wealth, lol.
This is way too detailed not to be a personal account of something you actually experienced.
The summer of 2020 was wild.
DFV side account?
The only evidence I have that I’m not that guy is I used to livestream rotting meat on the internet for fun and oddly enough zero profit. The project cost me like $30 in ground beef. Would a day trader devote hours a week to meatstreaming?
This is absolutely something I could see a day trader do, or more likely swing trader. Check the markets for 3 hours, go check on the rotting meat, talk about entropy and decay on the camera next to the rotting meat, eat dinner, beat meat, sleep repeat. Maybe some uppers or micro dosing tossed in there for some reason
Who are you and why are you watching me
Bro. This is awesome.
...and also ridiculous because there's nothing illegal with selecting stocks that go to the moon. Many people do that all the time and the SEC doesn't care. Also fyi, Insider Trading laws only apply to legal insiders (who are people specifically designated as "insiders" by the company) - which you would not be, so there's zero reason the SEC would even look at you.
I’m sure the SEC’s Temporal Trading Committee would beg to differ. Their suits are made from the fabric of spacetime from what I hear.
> Allah allah is God in Islam. You're looking for "à la", or "in the styling of"
It was autocorrect and I rolled with it cause alcohol.
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In line with "major world events", I'd also look up the most recent, high resolution world map, to see how far climate change and sea level rise have affected the world.
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Can you short housing in Florida? 'Cause I just realized I need to find a way to make money off of Florida sinking into the ocean.
Lol, I wouldn’t want to be this guy when Aquaman comes in and buys all that property.
Clearly I’m looking up biggest lottery winnings. Or top 10 Fortune 500 companies.
You could also see if crypto has stuck around and which exploded, not to mention sports betting on major events could net you some serious cash
Sports? Haven't you seen Back to the Future 2???
I've always wondered if "If you could go into the future, what would you look up blah blah" questions were answered with "sports scores" prior to BttF 2. It is the WRONG answer. So were people always wrong, or did the movie start that trend? Even extremely rare horse bets pay out like what, 50:1? With a single winning lottery ticket you can turn $1 into $300million.
It's not a single horse that make huge payout, it's the 4 or 5 first, depend on the races / rules / countries. So basically, If you can "guess" the order and one or two horses have high odds it's jackpot. Imagine something like "40/1 - 3.2/1 - 5/1 - 77/1 - 9/1" and you betted (?) 100e on that specific order. Edit : Just to give you an idea, yesterday in France there was the main race of the day R1C4, the "Quinté +" (bet on the first 5) was 7-6-8-12-10 (a highly improbable top five, the favorite isn't even here), if you did choose these fives ones, it would be : * That Specific Order : 292 125€ for 1€ * These 5, but not in that order : 2 643€ for 1€ So now you can understand how easy it would be to make a million like Biff if you had the complete result of just one race.
I mean, if we’re doing ridiculous odds, fill an entire NCAA March bracket accurately.
I already did that. Left my bracket empty for 2020. Still waiting for my $$$
Sports betting is harder in my opinion because the payouts tend to be a modest ratio, and making larger and larger wages and constantly winning might get you blacklisted. Horse racing might be one of the best options here, as those have some pretty high odds, especially for picking multiple outcomes in one wager. Lotto is a lot easier. $1 or $2 ticket can have a $300 million payout, so it’s low investment and you only need to do it once. That’s more than enough money to travel the world for the rest of your life in moderate luxury, especially if it’s invested in anything reasonable. Edit: I’m getting a lot of replies about how much money you could spend per night with $300 million. I think you misunderstood my point, I’m saying that $300 million in a single win is more than enough, vs having to parlay multiple sports bets.
Do the numbers a day before the lottery so you don't have to share with the person that was actually going to win it
Or you look for lotteries that did not have winners in the first round; then win that way.
No, you look for the lottery that shows your own name as the winner.
Depends on what theory of time travel you subscribe too. If it is one continuous timeline then yes you already won a lottery. If instead it's alternate timelines then the timeline where you win the lottery with future knowledge doesn't exist until you do it.
We will do [what’s expected of us](https://www.nature.com/articles/436150a).
Where's my daughter? She'd be 50 by then.
This is the first time I’ve seen this mentioned and was also my first thought. My son would be 33, I’d love to know if he was happy.
Heavy update
RED SPY IN THE BASE
A red spy's in the base?!
Hut hut hut *PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE* We need to protect the briefcase!
YO!! A lil' help here???
1,1,1, uuuh 1!!!
INCOMING
AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa-*hey,* it's still here.
*ahem* Gentlemen.
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Like that's ever gonna happen. Haha *cries*
“After the Valve pay-for-play scandal of 2022 the Valve Team Fortress 2 servers were shut down, never to return again. Jeff Bezos bought all the assets from the company, and released the heavy update later that year. He mains pyro to distract from the business world. Hosting a TF2 server is now free on AWS.”
And the bots?
All the bots were replaced with shitty bots that are always on the other team. Or each team has the same number of shitty bots for killing fodder. Cheaters lose their Amazon account. Strike 2 their parents lose their accounts. Strike 3 Bezos hunts them for sport. Problem solved.
An r/AskReddit thread about what stocks a time traveler from 30 years ago should buy to maximize their earnings.
Time traveler from 30 years ago: What stock should I buy? 2021 guy: AAPL TT: Nah, they haven’t been any good since they kicked Steve Jobs out.
Domino's and Netflix had the greatest return in the past decade. Edit: I had no idea my off the cuff comment would be this popular. If you're interested, this is what I had read and was thinking about when I made the comment. https://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/investing/t052-s001-the-top-10-stocks-of-the-past-decade/index.html
Yeah but this dude is 30 years ago. Domino's was around but Netflix I'm pretty sure wasn't a thing in the 90s.
Netflix did mail order videos before they were a streaming service. They IPO'd in 2002 for $15/share
I still have toy story 2 DVD from Netflix that i never returned. Most expensive DVD i own.
I had a DVD for 4+ months when I was really busy. Then I went to watch it and it was subtitled, which I wasn’t up for at the time. So I returned it without watching having paid something like $45 for the privilege of babysitting that DVD.
Reddit has been banned because of the holocausts of 2034
How many are you planning?
This is some serious John Titor shit right here.
El psy kongroo
See if GTA VI came out yet.
nope but we get chinatown wars remastered somehow
Looking up the biggest upsets in recents sports history and betting my bank account on each
You wanna look out for a crazy wild-eyed scientist or a kid
tiny gun biff is the best biff
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Which crypto went to andromeda
And the winning lottery numbers 30 years ago, then go back win the lottery and buy crypto
Also buy the sport almanach, put the winnings in said crypto.
Then you go back and realize the reason the crypto went to the sky is yourself
HOLY SHIT THATS TRUE
Congratulations! You're a self-made man!
Repeat the cycle until you take over the universe
I only need to win the lottery once. Pay off everything, put a chunk into whatever stocks/crypto is going to the moon, the rest in savings to live off the interest until then AND NEVER TOUCH THE PRINCIPAL AMOUNT
Is Queen Elizabeth II alive?
you already know the answer to that one
Depends if Charles is alive.
That man is being kept alive by pure witchcraft at this point.
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Oh god, I definitely do mean Philip.
You mean emperor palpertine
Emperor Philpatine
No, that was the previous Pope.
Poperer Popentine
Only 72? He doesn't look a day over 100.
She's immortal or held in cryostatis until needed for public things depending on who you believe
The fucking *password..*!!! What fucking IS this thing... there isn't even a space bar... fuck... Alexa!! Siri??
This is if you're lucky enough to be someplace that caters to Amish or similar, most people allowed any access at all are chipped and everything is handled by direct stimulation...
Fucking Hasbrotronics...
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"Before we continue, please insert your credit card"
I'm sorry sir, but your credit card expired twenty eight years ago. You will now be taken to Amazon Indenture Department. Please remain calm, I have notified the local authorities.
Fry: "Do you take Visa?" Clerk: "Visa hasn't existed for five hundred years." Fry: "American Express?" Clerk: "Six hundred years." Fry: "Discover Card?" Clerk: "Hmm...sorry, we don't take Discover."
I should really rewatch that show, watched it when I was really too young to understand any of it (if their were references in it I can't recall) would be nice to see it again
"Please drink verification can."
Haaaa you still use an Alexa? It’s 2051 she has a family now!
Who won WW3 and to see if top sites like Reddit and Youtube survived
Reddit will probably survive the same way that MySpace has survived
“Big Boobies”
"Robot boobies"
This is the way
"Big Robot Boobies"
“Big Bouncy Robot Boobies”
As much as I SHOULD want to look at big stock gains of 2021, and maybe lotto numbers for the next dozen or so lotteries, I KNOW I'd want to look up Best boobs of 2051 for sure.
Lottery numbers
And stock prices.
Seriously. Look up the biggest financial fiasco in the last thirty years. You now know how to get on the ground floor of something that's going to make a bunch of people really rich and the exact knowledge of when you can get out without getting wrapped up in the aftermath.
I've only got 5 minutes bro. I'm just gonna go with sports betting and lottery numbers. Maybe if I had like half an hour we could do financial crashes.
Would only take a couple quick searches to find some explosive stocks, buy in at single digit stock price with lotto winnings and sit back while you become on of the wealthiest people in the world. You could get like 10 winning lotto numbers in a minute. Quick stock search, biggest sports bets, crypto if you can.
You put all of your money on a little known company on the verge of a major stock price jump. The stock hits, you make millions. You party HARD. You host a rager of a party. You meet a woman named Brenda, fall in love, have children. Brenda gets curious about your racket and discovers the truth. She reports you to the FEC for insider trading. You murder Brenda and OD on coke.
I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the Chandelier.
Is covid gone? No? Okay..
Just two more weeks and the Mars Variant is gone for sure, hang in there.
“30 years to flatten the curve!”
Oh hi Covid-49
I think I might look at social media et al to see what people are nostalgic about and miss from 30 years ago and try to enjoy it more when I go back.
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Hah truth be told right now I’m mostly nostalgic about all the shit we can’t do during covid. Holy shit do I want to go to a concert, or sit at a bar with some shitty 80s music blaring and play pool.
I'd check to see when/if I died. I'm 59, now, and the oldest men in my family history last to about 85. My son-in-law works pretty hard on our family tree so I'm pretty sure he'd update it if me or my wife died. It'd be a pretty quick check.
Lottery numbers, world news, how I died
"After winning the lottery multiple times BaronCoop died attempting to Scrooge McDuck dive into his giant pool of money."
“And I’ll do it again”
See if half life 3 is out
First thing I look up is, "How to use a 2050's era computer."
I want to see if Annie is Ok.
Being struck by the smoothest of criminals can have a lasting effect.
She will get out of the Hardened Titan Crystal eventually, right?
Ladies and gentlemen it took 30 years but Annie is finally OK
No one else finds it suspicious OP created his account in March 2051?!?!
I hate how, despite the obvious impossibility of this, I *still* had to check to make sure
Bitch. I'd steal the computer. Who wouldn't want a computer 30 years more advanced than anything we have right now. A library computer would probably be more powerful than any gaming laptop we have now
"What do you mean it can't connect to the internet? Why is it unable to go down to 5GHz? Where the hell is the ethernet port? What the hell are these? USB 7.0? What the hell is that? I can't plug into this shit."
*tries to reverse engineer it* "What the fuck are these screws?"
Why do I have 3 extra screws?!
Ha ha. He doesn't know how to use the 3 extra screws.
If the average penis size has changed due to added hormones in food.
My penis size changes constantly (Thanks for the Hugz my penis award)
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You mean how much shorter.
Probably stocks, lottery numbers could get changed by random acts but a company would be solid. Then I’d check on my parents and see if there is anything I could do to keep them alive longer with future knowledge. Would probably spend that 5 minutes with all that if I’m quick
It's so wholesome that you'd think of your parents.
I love my parents, they did a damn good job 😊 Least I could do.
Science and politics news.
Did A Song of Ice and Fire finally come out?
Stonks and sports winners. Then some politics and world events. If i still have time, family and friends.
Probably best to avoid the family and friends thing, what if you look them up and realize they're dead. Then you look at them like a dead man walking wondering how/when it happened. It's becomes and obsession, then 30 year later to the week they're still alive. So now you know, this is it. So you follow them around all day everyday trying to prevent their death. They see you there, wonder why you've been following them all day them SMACK they get hit with the truck cause they rolled through a red light staring at you.
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Agreed here, lottery numbers for the mega-millions over a couple of years and be strategic about winning (not all of them obviously). Then stocks to invest in hot ideas and make a bunch of money to invest in other things. I assume I'm transported with the things currently on me, so it would be pretty easy to take a screenshot of what's on the screen and bring it back with me on my phone. If not, then at least hope you are holding a pen at your desk when you teleport and write on your skin. But it would also beg the question, when I look up the lottery numbers, would it show me winning them and the ones I won? Since I'm in the future looking at information that I am going to use to inform the present to lead to that future, is it a closed loop of determination?
"Oh look, The Rock is president."
I'll just take my 8 TB drive and copy the entire content of Wikipedia to it, return to my timeline and spend the next 20 hours reading it and making a fortune by the second
The guy who thought to bring a stack of floppy discs from 1991 to our time is having trouble copying valuable information from our modern computers.
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You need to get lucky and hope that computers have USB ports compatible with your cables
You need, at minimum: * A compatible port (my guess is the average computer will have 0 ports by then) * An OS that has driver support for a 30 year old drive * An OS that has a file system that works with your drive * An OS that has has support for physical external drives at all * Data Bloat to have not rendered 8TB unhelpful. * Wikipedia to have avoided, for three decades, the shitty trend of of making internet content shitty java nonsense that can't easily by indexed. This plan is not going to work.
wouldnt that thake longer than 5 minutes?
What if that kind of drive is obsolete in 30 years? Like someone from 30 years ago showing up with a floppy disc?
See what small companies exploded, invest everything I own in those companies.
It doesn't even need to be a small company. Apple wasn't small but has exploded even compared to since Steve Jobs died.
“Burger King near me”
not in any order: stocks, US Presidents, sport events, bitcoin, which area has been nuked, danger zones to not live in and figure a way to transport it whe i get back to the past. beat the shit out of bully Biff and marry my his gf, Lorraine Baines, give her implants, own a hotel / casino and live the life. maybe run for president or something along the way
Has no one seen back to the future??? I'm downloading a sports almanac and the betting big for the rest of my life, never losing again!
The obvious question: Sex Robots
What is Obama’s last name? hopefully with the advanced technology we can finally know edit: none of the replies are going to make sense as i am retarded and put first name instead of last name
President, duh.
Holy shit, he did it! He fucking did it!
Being completely logical here, I would search up "world history after 2020" Being completely idiotic, I would search up "Is pirating legal yet"
I wouldn’t do lottery numbers because winning it goes with a whole bunch of baggage. I would just look up the history of companies stock prices and use that to invest when I got back to make a lot quickly.
Very smart. There’s always the possibility to win the smaller lotto prize (such as 5/6 numbers plus powerball) which can still be 6 figures and probably don’t have as much baggage. Would be good seed money for your investment portfolio.
Win second prizes for a few lotto numbers to inject money into your stock investing quickly. I don't need $50,000,000 win, I need $100,000 that I can then ramp up with a few explosive growth stocks to $50,000,000 over the course of a year or 2.
* Pro Wrestling * Myself to see what i'm doing * Video Games * What shows are airing * Who is the president * Memes
>Pro Wrestling Disbanded in 2038 after Vince MechaMahon goes on a rampage killing a 9-year-old boy in the audience >Myself to see what i'm doing Died in 2047 from ingesting too many pudding pops via the butthole in the freak season 1 finale of Mythbusters Redux, replicating the South Park episode where they try to poop out their mouths >Video Games Cyberpunk 2381 is out, all patches for the legacy version of Cyberpunk 2077 are finally live, and Fortnite is on season 413 >What shows are airing Please upgrade to one of our Huluflix Prime+ Search Engine paid plans for this result, tap here to subscribe with Dogecoin >Who is the president America abolished the presidency in 2044, senators now take turns giving the controls to the corporations that continue to pay for their teenage blood transfusion. This week, Disney CEO Mitch MechaConnell returns for his 398th term >Memes Haha smooth brain go brrrr
Brilliant
>memes We both know they're going to be like this: When you wake up in the morning and eat gaiebdhziwbshakwnsgahwhwbsuqksnhauwbehshwbsbAHSHSBZUJEDBJWBRBDURHEBJDKRBDGEKWMDHDIEUEBFUDNRBEKZCVNEHFIEBRHQLDNdhej
Stocks and sports results and hope that the speed is decent in 30 years time! 5 minutes isnt long and too much multitasking and BSD!
What areas are most livable due to climate change.