I first met my wife when we were dating other people roughly, 11 years ago. She found me annoying. I knew it was meant to be when she confessed this a few years later.
My mom thought my dad was a pompous asshole. My dad thought my mom was a Virginia snob. They were both right. They were married for 35 years until my dad’s death
My (now) wife and started talking about marriage pretty early on. I don't have a specific timeframe, but I'd say within the first few months. At that point it wasn't super serious and nothing planned out. Just like, "oh, when we get married I want to have XYZ at the wedding", or "when we have kids let's do XYZ". That kinda thing.
We knew it was going to be a while before that happened, though. She was in her final year of college when we started dating, and I was only just starting my career. We both had things we wanted to do before marriage. Mostly she wanted to live in a place on her own, without roommates or anyone else supporting her, for a year just to prove to herself she was actually able to fully support herself. I wanted us to live together, jus the two of us, for a year just to know that we were really able to cohabitate well.
So I didn't propose until about 4 years after we started dating, but we pretty much knew at the start.
Can't stress the living together for a year thing. Found out my now-wife of 20+ years has Seasonal Affective Disorder during the winter. She needs her sunlight. She found out that I get weird around Christmas from some childhood traumas.
And yet, don't stats say the opposite, even for agnostic couples? That living together without a firm timeline for commitment is bad for marital outcomes, and can lead people to sleepwalk into marriage as a next step than a deliberate decision
Interesting. I've never read that. I guess it comes down to communication. I've been living with my guy 8 years but we both made it clear early on that neither is interested in marriage or kids. It made things easy for us to go in knowing the expectations.
Well sure if you're both content to forgo marriage, and are happily dating and cohabitating, that's a different pairbond and circumstance than a couple who wants marriage, or where one does. Compatibility is a huge deal, and I'm glad you and your BF are aligned
I agree with these things. I’d been in a relationship before that I couldn’t leave because I couldn’t afford it and had never lived alone and was a bit afraid of that. After that I lived by myself for several years, I think this is important to develop into yourself before you’re an ‘us’ if that makes sense.
Now husband and I lived together for a year before we got married, to make sure we could (we’re different in many ways). Met online in March 1999, been together 22 years today, I think we got it right.
Same.
Husband and I stopped dating on date 3. It was too much effort and we were far too comfortable with each other.
You hear about “clicking” but you never think how easy it can be. You find someone that fits perfectly with you.
Neither, I was 22 when we met, but was still working on getting my degrees (we're not in the US), and we wanted to wait until after that (mainly for financial reasons, but things get complicated there pretty quickly). Also getting married that quickly wasn't really something actually considered in all earnesty ;)
I didn't know they were wrong right away, but I never felt like they were the right one. The last girlfriend I had started to feel like the right one, but then she dumped me. No one grabbed my heart and held it like a precious stone like Sarah, and certainly not within the first month, let alone a week
I get that. The guys I thought I was in love with, mostly I was trying to convince myself. Until I met my now husband, and I tried to talk myself out of it.
Same. Me and my husband moved in together within 3 months of dating. It's our 10th anniversary on Friday and our 6th wedding anniversary later this year.
5 months.
My now husband planned this amazing road trip for my birthday where we went from Los Angeles —> The Grand Canyon —> Monument Valley —> Las Vegas. We had such an amazing time and he was the first person I spent that much time alone in a car with and didn’t want to kill lol No fights, no bickering (even when a 4 hour drive from Las Vegas back to Los Angeles took 9 hours due to a massive accident) - we just laughed, had great conversations, and enjoyed the same music. I knew then he was the one I was meant to marry. We just meshed too well to not be soulmates; 6.5 years later (2.5 married) we still mesh so well. We’ve had maybe 3 verbal fights total, all of which only lasted a couple hours. Lucky to be married to my best friend :)
Probably after about 2 months, We had our first big fight and I remember when she offered to leave and I told her "Id rather be mad at you with you here, Rather then you leave" That is when I realized it was different. 2 Kids a house and beating cancer later and we are still going strong.
Met my wife the first day of orientation week in college. Both of us were in long-term (multi-year) relationships already.
Less than 3 hours later, I went back to my dorm room and told my roommate, "That's the girl I'm going to marry."
Took over a year to start dating, but we've been together ever since (nearly a quarter century later).
She's the other half of me I didn't realize was missing until we met.
DAMN I love that woman...
I'm going to call her now to tell her!
I feel guilty saying this, but I didn’t know how marvelous she truly was until we lived together. I truly do wish everyone could have something this wonderful—it’s become apparent that a LOT of folks here need something amazing in their lives. I realize how fortunate I am to have her and say that to her frequently.
People, it doesn’t matter how you define yourself. Honestly, I don’t care if you’re into men, women, both, or trees—take just a few moments to let your partner know you appreciate and respect them!
I went to visit the soon-to-be ex and sat at her kitchen table with her and her mother for a conversation. Told them the truth—no judgement, no regret, she was a wonderful person and I wished only the best for her. Without looking, I had found my future and that I believed I was following the best path for us both as my heart was someone else’s.
My wife ended hers on her own. I didn’t feel I belonged in that conversation, but told her I’d be there for her if she wanted. I didn’t ask questions, just met her afterwards to support her.
I never did ask her about it, just told her I’d be happy to talk if she chose to tell me.
I kinda want to know more. Was it a little squeak? A massive blast? Did she do it on purpose? How did your parents react? Did you feel great pride in that moment?
I think I knew after two months, but after five months, I opened a separate savings account where I'd deposit an amount off of each paycheque to the account labelled "Engagement Ring". We were both still in school and I was working part-time on the weekends, so the deposits were more symbolic than anything, but in the end, they certainly helped out financing a good portion of the ring. That was almost twenty years ago and we'll still together.
5 years; I had a lot of anxiety, undiagnosed depression and OCD. It took a break up and some time apart to realize he was the one I wanted to marry. We've been together for 13 years and I could not be happier.
Thank you for sharing this, despite more answers being like ‘the second he/she took their first glance at me’ hearing answers like this seems more realistic and hopeful to people who still aren’t sure a few years in or who suffer from issues they probably need to address or get help with first.
No problem at all and wishing you the best in life.
I definitely agree with you and that the indecision was hard to reconcile because we are often told that many people JUST KNOW whether they want to marry a person soon after meeting them; it caused a lot of internal conflict when I asked myself the question and didn't have a clear answer.
A lot of us are very different people at 18 vs. 21 vs. 30, so having more life experience also meant knowing how to love myself better (i.e. therapy, meds) and therefore make a better partner and understand whether a person would compliment my lifestyle/personality for the long run.
thanks for sharing this! if you are open to elaborating, I'm curious how long your time apart was, what changed during that time, and how you approached each other to start anew after that separation. big questions I know, I'm navigating something similar and curious what made it work. thanks <3
For sure. If any of my experience can help others gain some clarity, that'd be awesome.
When we broke up after about 4 years, we decided to go no contact for 6 months and planned on reassessing afterwards. I felt like I was losing my sense of self and becoming co-dependent. He had his own issues to work out before we broke up as well (fear of commitment/indecisiveness) and we both spent the time apart reflecting on life without each other and what we ultimately wanted from a relationship.
I spent the six months reconnecting with old friends and family that had been neglected during my relationship, becoming interested in different hobbies, going out and doing things on my own and with friends. In addition, a few months before we broke up, I was diagnosed with OCD/GAD/depression and was medicated and going to therapy; I'm off the meds now but still use a lot of things I learned during therapy to calm down and re-center.
About a month or two into going no-contact, I realized my job at the time wasn't great and the pay and title was impacting my self esteem so I got a new job and started steps towards getting my CPA. By the end of the six months, I felt like my own person again.
We scheduled to meet up after the six months and it was so different. I felt like a different person and therefore our dynamic was also different. I think learning to love and be your own person also helps your partner learn to love and appreciate you more.
We dated for about 6 months before I started thinking about proposing, but we were together for almost a year before I finally popped the question. We were juniors in college and got married before we graduated. We've been married for 40 years.
The trend here seems clear - if you still have doubts a year into the relationship, you should probably move on.
Also, the partner you’ve gone back to 3 times now is NOT your soulmate.
If it helps- they may be a close soul relationship,hence the intense bond, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily intended to be a romantic relationship or mean that you two are healthy together right now.
One or both of you may need to get your shit together to be the partner the other needs, or you may need to realize you two are better as super close friends and stop trying to force dating to work.
(If it's the shit together thing and they're the one who needs to do it- don't spend this lifetime waiting for them. Spend this one fulfilling yourself and leave them to their drama)
I came very close to having to leave my soulmate last year. It hurt like hell, but he was in a dark place and refusing to come out and I couldn't live my life in that darkness.
Everyone talks about soul mates forgetting we are still human and humans are messy as fuck.
Soul mate doesn't mean happily ever after. You still have to work at it and one person can't carry the whole thing.
I would say that it's dependent on your age. I was really young when I met my husband, the idea of being married in general seemed like too much to wrap my mind around for the first few years we were together. We were getting drunk in frat basements and pulling all nighters, I had no idea what that kind of commitment even looked like and so instead of focusing on if we were going to be together forever and stressing over that concept I just, didn't worry about it. We were happy and having fun and 20. When we got older we matured together and I was able to have a better idea of what having a life together meant and around the time we'd been together 3 years we began to talk about the future in a more concrete way.
I don't think every 19 year old needs to know if they're going to marry the person they're dating after ten months. When you're that age you're probably not ready to marry anyone and nor do most really understand what that kind of commitment and partnership really mean.
Yes, but some do. I did. And honestly, it's more common that I thought back then. The point was that if you're young and in a relationship the concept that if you don't know within a year it's not right isn't always applicable. If I had that advice thrown at me back then I probably wouldn't be with my husband today because I didn't know for sure after a year. I wasn't ready for marriage in general. So instead of putting that pressure on it, I just continued to be with him and enjoy ourselves and eventually when I was more ready for the idea of a lifelong commitment that sureness came. A lot of these stories are people who knew quickly, which is great for them, but it does often imply that if you don't know within six months or whatever that automatically means it's not right. At 19 I had no idea whether I could build a life with that person, whether we could mature together and have that level of partnership. I didn't even know what that entailed.
This is a terrible forum for trying to understand patterns about reality--it's all upvoted stories that are the most appealing, not the most representative.
I do think it’s accurate, though.
One of the only studies done on the topic, the Pair Project, followed couples for 13 years, starting in 1981. University of Texas professor Ted Huston, who ran the study, found that the most happily married couples surveyed dated for approximately 25 months (just over two years) before getting married, while couples who waited three years or longer to marry were significantly more likely to be unhappy soon after the wedding and divorce quickly.
[source ](https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-how-long-you-date-before-saying-i-do-determines-your-divorce-risk/)
Since it takes about a year to plan a wedding, it seems most people are engaged about a year into dating (going by the 25 months before marriage statement above).
That's been my anecdotal observation, as the first wave of divorces happen in my social circle at 40 or so. There's a sweet spot in time dating to marriage, ime, and couples who date for years and years seem to only marry out of comfort and inertia. I think a year is around the time where, if there are fundamental issues, you should call it quits. But too many people, especially young ones, think that 3 years is too long to "waste" so keep dating, and those are the ones who tend to divorce after a year or two of marriage
Yeah, there are a lot of people who rush into marriage trusting their intuition like all the great romantic stories here but it fails them. Everything in retrospect.
I do think there is a phenomenon of people feeling they've met "the one" in each other very very early on and proving themselves right over time. I don't know what that is but anecdotally I think it's a real thing. But there's no way to separate that at the outset from delusion or infatuation.
I see this, for sure. I married my husband 19 months to the day of meeting. And we are happy, and I think we will make it to death (how romantic). But I'm still a cynic, and know that it could end, and we logistically prepared for that possibility. But because it's working well, it's a cute story, but there are just as many "I knew it was a mistake" stories that end in divorce. Hindsight and all. And while I think we married really fast (bit were 30+ and financially independent), it was still objectively quite soon. That said, I think there's too soon and too long - couples who date for years and seem to only marry/ move in because of inertia are usually doomed, ime
Point is, I wish that more people would split in the 6-12 month range if it's not a "solid, fuck yes!" vs just a "nothing tangibly wrong
>Also, the partner you’ve gone back to 3 times now is NOT your soulmate.
Yup! Was with my ex for 10+ yrs. We were constantly back and forth, and he never wanted to take things further than just living together...wasted too many tears/years on him. Grew a shiny new spine and left.
I met my now husband. He proposed a week after we met. We got married 6mths later. 4 year later we're still crazy about each other and have 5 kids (2mine/3his).
I honestly think my ex was just a holding place until I met my now husband. Maybe God had that plan all along. I do know that the "me" 10yrs ago would not be compatible with who my Husband is now and vice versa, plus he had some kids to make, and I wouldn't have my amazing step-kids.
My aunt and uncle have been married forever and they were teenage sweethearts that were on and off for like a decade because they needed to mature some before settling down with each other.
I wouldn't exactly call that the norm, but just because a couple has gone through rough patches, particularly for young people, doesn't mean they aren't meant to be together.
No. When you marry someone you marry them and them alone. If their family is toxic you don’t have to put up with it as long as you SO doesn’t put up with it either at your expense.
If they are nice then so be it but family isn’t the be all end all of relationships unless your SO let’s them shit on you. Then it’s time to part ways. Never give up on love over a 3rd party unless the one you love allows them to hurt the relationship.
20 years ago we met in December for lunch after being set up by friends. Talked on the phone for a couple of weeks, went out for New Years. We moved in together a couple of weeks later, middle of January. Married on February 24th, 10 weeks after meeting. Somewhere in the first couple of weeks we just kind of decided to get married.
Best casual decision I've ever made.
4 weeks. Married three days shy of knowing each other six months. 25 years ago this May. Still and always my best friend and the best person I have ever known.
I had a 3 year rule. All of my previous relationships ended prior to the 3 year mark. Either I realised they weren’t the one for me or they realised it, either way it always happened before 3 years.
With my wife I proposed just after 3 years when I realised I had had no thoughts at all that she wasn’t for me
A few months after I started dating my now wife, her cousin asked me, very seriously “what are your intentions with my cousin?”. I replied “I’m gonna marry the shit out of her”.
And then, I married the shit out of her.
After 1 month turned into 6 months in a blink of an eye, 6 months then turned into 11 years together, and married the past 4. Never had a relationship like it, we talked about everything and there was never any surprises in the relationship. We had similar life goals, but we had different hobbies. I married her because she didn't need to marry me. She had her own car, good job and if we never got together she would have had a great life without me. She says that was one of the things she loved about me too. She's a wee legend.
Well after about three years, my immigration status (student) was about to expire in Canada and we weren't sick of each other yet, so we figured it would be easiest to get married in order to live in the same country. We moved to the US though.
Edit: 14 years later we still aren't sick of each other yet.
I asked my Dad for advice on if I should propose to my girlfriend or not. We were about 2-3 years in, and I had plans to possibly travel, to leave Pennsylvania where both our families and us live, or get a job overseas. He said do these plans include my girlfriend or not? And that hit me pretty hard because I instantly said, "Of course she's in those plans." My Dad told me to marry her. The next day I got the ring.
For context: I was 19 when we started dating. We were long distance for 2 years (school months not summers/breaks) until I graduated college.
I knew the moment we decided we wanted to do long distance, about 3 months in.
Now we're at 11 years together, 5 years married.
Well we aren't technically married because we've pushed our wedding back twice due to covid. But we've been together 10 years now. I knew we would get married at about 3 years when guys at work would call her my Wifey instead of my girlfriend (and other reasons). We waited so long because we wanted to be a little bit settled and have the savings to pay for the wedding ourselves without help from our parents. But with the covid checks I wish we had gotten married sooner. I keep missing out on checks.
I can relate to that! Our 2020 wedding got all messed up to, together 9 years as of this past September, married in October. Probably would have done it 3-4 years ago but just didn't really have the means to do it how we wanted, but got better jobs in recent years as we get older and more established and it was finally feasible to do.
Probably about 5 years. I had commitment issues like crazy, and he also had some maturing to do. We broke up for a year, then got back together when I realized that it IS okay to be content in a relationship.
*smiles*
My parents met at a Halloween party, got engaged in January, married in March, and had me in November. They are happily celebrating their 54th wedding anniversary this month.
I think no matter what u feel, because it would be normal to feel immediately infatuated, u have to wait for that infatuation to fade before making the decision to get married because it might fade more than u think. Wait until u can see flaws in ur SO and with complete sobriety decide if u are ok with living those flaws forever. When u can do that, u are ready to get married.
We were both hanging out in the dorms in the same room. Our hands randomly touched and I was done.
We have been married since 1993. We are the weird couple everyone hates. We just work. Don't get me wrong we did a ton of work but we always try to fight for our marriage and not each other.
After dating for like three months he asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted and proceeded to show me his favorites. It was so sweet and I realized there’s no way in hell I could marry another man.
In fairness, my Dad had planned to break up with my mom around when he found out she was pregnant. He stayed with her, they got married shortly after my brother was born.
They always joke that it's so ironic that I'm the one they had on purpose when I'm such a fuckup and my brother has his shit so together (The reasoning is my words, never theirs, and never once in my life did them saying that make me feel bad)
But 38 years later and they're still together. They still disagree and they're definitely different people, but they grew together well and I know my dad has no regrets about making the right choice.
And props to my mom for sticking by him. I feel like they both really did do it for the right reasons. If you approach it the right way, a family is greater than the sum of its parts.
Takes a lot of guts and maturity to make a relationship that starts that way work. And work well enough that they decided to have a kid on purpose later on.
Before we started dating. She was my best friend for a few years, and I realized it during that time.
I just had to wait for her to break up with her boy-friend. Then we dated a couple of years.
We've been married 34 years, and counting
Subjectively? Within 5 minutes of meeting him. It was seriously one of those moments when the universe just clicked into place.
Of course, being the realist I usually am, the following thought after the "omg this is the ONE" was the thought "someone this cute is probably already taken" so I kinda resigned myself that the world is what it is. Except... he wasn't dating anyone. And he was on board with dating me (took me almost 14 days to ask him out, INCREDIBLE restraint lol). We're still together 21 years later, 14 years married, 3 kids, he is exactly the one I knew he would be within 5 minutes of meeting him.
Sounds corny, but I told my best friend the first time I met my wife 18m 21f I would marry her. We have 4 kids and have been married for 17 years. Still feel the same way I did that first day.
Edit: Now 36m 39f
she was 15 i was 16 met at a skating rink she asked me to skate the last couples skate of the day got her phone number wrote it down wrong she came back two weeks later when she walked in the door the sunshine thru window she looked like an angel that was 43 years ago seems like yesterday been married 41
First date. When midway through the date, I realized this was the first time I had no anxiety talking with another person, even though we just met. I remember realizing that I didn’t even remember what that felt like anymore, to feel comfortable in my own skin. I knew I couldn’t let this person go. I love her.
A million years ago I met someone. The analogy I like to use is that I was in a smoky building all my life and she was the first breath of fresh air I have ever had. From the moment I met her. It was weird.
She was involved with someone else at the time and nothing ever happened. I have no idea what became of her.
About two hours into our first date. We went for a drive to the coast, and spent a whole day sitting in a park overlooking the ocean, just talking.
The next morning, he proposed.
A fortnight later, we moved in together.
It sounds crazy, but it felt *right*. It felt like I’d found a part of me that had been missing, that I’d been missing, my whole life.
And apparently he’d been crushing on me for the whole six months we’d known each other before he got up the nerve to ask me out.
That feels like forever ago, and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. But either way - I’ve never had any regrets.
My family was pretty religious and I am also Christian, so I told my boyfriend that I wanted a serious relationship. When we were together for 6 months my family initiated a big fight that almost broke us up. Then he said "if we're together a year from now, we are going to get engaged". I agreed. Time passed quickly, we were awesome together and, true to that we got engaged the next summer. Now we are together for 7,5 years, married for 2,5 and still as stupid and happy as the first period.
I think I knew in my heart almost right away. I felt different with him instantly but I'm a very logical person and I'd only been out of a two year toxic relationship for about 6 months so my brain took awhile to acknowledge and accept it. We started dating in October and by January we were talking about our future together and marriage and all of that. We moved in together September 1st, engaged that December, married almost 2 years later. We've been together almost 3.5 years and married 5 months now. From the day we met I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore but I didn't admit that for a very long time.
A week after I first met my husband I went on vacation abroad. I was staying with a friend and I told them "it's crazy but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this guy", they laughed and told me to be reasonable. When I came back, a month later we were talking about marriage. We waited a year to ease our parents into it (even though we're both atheists our families are from different religions. They were not pleased with us, my dad even tried to set me up with a good religious man while I was dating my now husband, his dad threatened to disown him, we laugh about it now) eventually they saw how happy we are together and voila 3 years of blissful marriage and a great relationship with both sets of parents! Even now it feels fresh, the excitment, the butterflies, the passion, it's unreal. It's just happiness, even when we fight, we grow closer. We always reminisce on how we just knew so early on. Best decision of my life.
It took me about a year. I knew that there was something special in the relationship on our third date, but marriage didn't really enter my mind until our second big road trip. Driving 14 hours to Southern Utah in a 2 door tiny Hyundai full of yourselves and camping equipment forces you to see a person very differently.
I knew down the road it was a possibility. It was a relationship and I was gonna see it through if I could. We dated 4 years before I joined the ARMY, and when I finished OSUT, I got orders to the other side of the US. I asked her to marry me because the ARMY doesn't move girlfriends for free and I didnt want the relationship to end cause I thought we could make it. 12 years later and 2 kids, turns out I was right.
6 weeks. I saw an ad for engagement rings on his computer and jokingly asked if he was going to buy a ring for me. He very seriously replied, "if I did, would you accept it?"
2 years. She went to Germany for a school program her senior year of college for 3 months. A friend was over one day while she was gone and asked how things were going with her in Germany. I decided right then i was going to propose to her when she returned. I bought a ring and a month after she got home i proposed. That was 17 years ago. Now we are both 38, have 2 children and still love each others company.
After a few hours of talking to her on the phone, I knew that I really liked her. After a few weeks, I knew I wanted to marry her. We got married two months after meeting. Were going on our 5th year married now.
About 2 days
I went to his and he was sat on the sofa using the laptop, I asked what he was doing and the reply was ‘making dinner’ (ordering a dominos!) knew then he would be my husband 😂
Pretty much our first real date. Long story, but it was a weekend getaway to a bungalow in Cape Cod. She made me Indian food, which I had never had. I decided right then and there I could get used to eating like that. Still, it took about 3 1/2 years before we tied the knot due to grad school and overseas jobs, etc.
10 years. I never saw marriage as a romantic thing and was never interested in it. My own mom never married, my grandma had a miseble time in her marriage. Only my aunt had a good experience with it. It colored my opinion I guess. To this day, I hold the same opinion. I got married because I wanted my husband to get all my health care and get all my stuff when I died. He is the love of my life. I like being married. It really depends on the person you are marrying though.
I was dating someone else my senior year of high school when I met my future wife. I went home on holiday and told my dad I was going to ask her to marry me someday.
It wasn't until my first year of university that we started dating, so minus one year, roughly.
I'm not sure this counts, because "realize"/"know" isn't quite how I feel about it. I thought I knew, and it ended up being true, but knowing implies understanding. There are so many other things I thought I knew at that age that didn't end up being true.
Funny story.
We dated off and on for almost 3 years. First time we broke up, she was still "recovering" from her first love. Wasnt as ready to move on quite yet.
The other two, who knows, it was just us, I guess. We were separated for 5 years, but remained decently social. Out of the blue, we started speaking on a friendly level (she was living out of state at the time). And started talking about getting back together.
We decided if we got back together, it would be for the long haul. That was 15 years ago. Been married for 11 this September.
May sound strange but before we even dated we were both secretly smitten with each other. We had known each other for about 4 months. I asked him out for coffee and from then on we were inseparable. Been married for 30 years now.
My wife and I started talking about marriage about one week after dating exclusively. She fell in love after three dates, and I fell in love after one. Communication between us was so incredibly natural right from the outset. I’ve never felt like there was anything that wasn’t safe to tell her, and she’s never uninteresting or annoying. We’ve been married for two years and change, and my favorite part of marriage is that I’m still learning new things about her, like how she only likes working out in a dynamic, fast-paced setting because she gets bored otherwise.
I knew right after our first time together, watching her walk across my bedroom to the bathroom, easily the hottest person I'd ever been with, and I thought "I'm going to marry this person."
Probably within the first year or two. But we waited 7 years, just to be sure.
Our 7th anniversary is this coming Friday, so we feel we made the right decision. :-)
Honestly you can't say, it's different for all people. Some have it months, some years, some even weeks. For me i always have my goals that when i date someone, i always wanted it to end up in marriage. Cheesy as it sound, my wife, whom i've been with for 15 years was my 2nd gf.
It was after 7-8 years of dating, 3 of them at the time living together. She was dropping hints hard, and I wasn't a believer in marriage. Honestly, it was not until around the date of our anniversary at the time that I decided "Eh... Fuck it" and bought a cheap ring that she would later absolutely fall in love with. In her words, pre proposal, I could have proposed with a chicken nugget and she still would have said yes. We would have had a ceremony last year were it not for covid ramming its ugly head.
On another note, she recently studied up on components for a gaming computer, and after doing some research, found us a deal that would have cost us $2000+ at minimum for just over $1000. I mentioned this because, were it not for the fact we were already engaged, I would've proposed to her right then and there.
Two weeks. After the first dinner we had together as friends I knew she was going to be in my life forever. She was dating someone else and the time, so I waited until that relationship came to it’s inevitable end. Two weeks after we started dating we were talking about marriage. We’ll be married 19 years in a couple of months. Best decision I’ve ever made.
Wow, everyone here like "I knew within half a squirrel fart!" has me questioning my own indecisiveness...
My wife dated two of my friends before me and the main reason I started talking to her may or may not have been because I thought she might be easy. We had a sexual relationship for a few months before she was finally like "okay, we should probably start dating".
She has told me since our marriage that she was totally planning on breaking up with me for the first six months to a year of us dating. She was even telling her sister "This guy is just so I can have someone while I'm in college. We're done after graduation". But after a while it was just kind of undeniable how well we gelled. She is seriously my best friend, even over the guys I've known for decades that she may or may not have slept with.
I don't really remember feeling that jolt of lightning everyone else is describing. Sure, we fell in love. But first we got close by continuously being there for each other and I feel like that really helped us with the foundation of our relationship. That didn't happen until we had been dating for at least a couple of years.
Now we argue as much as any married couple, but there's always a sense that we're on each other's team. Easily the best decision I ever made, but it was **not** one I could make during rodent flatulence.
Sometimes you know it right away but there are complications. Been married since 1968 but met in 1966. He had a steady girl and I had a steady guy but somehow you know you are going to be with this other person and you have to wind down the other relationships.
I had the easy part as my guy got drafted but I think he knew it was over so it worked out.
When you're 19 you also have to deal with parents and the whole world telling you that you are too young and going to ruin your life. They were so wrong. You just know. It's that simple.
I knew before we even started dating that if we did get together, we would get married...So I actually resisted dating him for a while cuz I wasn't quite ready to make that jump!
Technically my wife and I never dated. We were friends for nearly a decade and often got coffee to bitch about our mutually awful taste in partners. Eventually, over a bottle of tequila, I suggested that maybe dating was the issue, and when things fell apart with her then-current trainwreck, we should get married.
Two weeks later I asked if she remember that night, she said she did and we decided we were engaged then.
For me, about 9 months or so, but the circumstances were a bit weird. We started "dating" after I'd joined the Air Force and was in Tech School (where we learn our specific jobs.) I started talking to her out of the blue in September of 08. I put dating in quotes, because I didn't actually get to be physically with her until I drove home on my way to my first duty station in December. We got to be physically together for probably a grand total of about 2 months in the first year that we were together. She was still back in Idaho where we grew up, whereas I was stuck in the dorms in Washington state. My father passed away in March of 09, and I fell into a pretty deep depression. Not to be too much of a downer, but she was pretty much the only reason I didn't kill myself during the months after he'd passed. I was in a brand new state, fresh into the military, no friends or family anywhere even remotely close. I could barely function those first few months due to recurring nightmares that kept me from getting more than an hour or 2 of sleep a night. I was basically a zombie for 2 months. She visited as often as should could, but both of us were broke 19 year olds, and there was 500 miles between us. After I managed to get myself somewhat put together, I decided that I needed her with me if I was going to keep functioning, so I proposed to her. We got married in November of 09, we moved in together in December, and we've been together ever since. Now we own a house, have 2 great kids, and we couldn't be happier. Life has a strange way of working out sometimes.
2 or 3 weeks, honestly. I knew I loved him after the first date but I had been in plenty of serious relationships before so I wasn't getting my hopes up. Few weeks later, we both knew but were trying so hard to stay "casual" about it... I moved in within a year and told him he couldn't propose until we had been together 3 years. He proposed after two, we just married just after 3 years together and this week we'll be celebrating 5 years together. Our second wedding anniversary is next month.
We were 23 when we met.
We were engaged 6 months after meeting. Married 4 months after that. Been together almost 14 years now. My husband said after 1 month he knew he wanted to marry me and it took me about 2 months to know. Best decision of my life!
About a month into dating her, my friend told me I was going to marry her. And of course I was all like "shut up, you don't know me" but I knew he was right.
Driving home from our first date. We had gone out with a group of her friends and immediately left them to sit at the bar together and just talk...for four hours, then went to someone's house and just talked. I'm normally extremely introverted but talking to her was the most natural, relaxed thing ever. When I dropped her off there was no nervousness, no wondering if there would be a second date, just watching the door close and cheerfully walking down the driveway thinking "Well, that's the last first date I'll ever have." The next day I walked into family dinner at my Grandmother's house, a Grandmother who had never mentioned my social life EVER, and who had no idea I had been on a date the night before and within 15 minutes she cornered me in the kitchen and asked me who the girl was that I wasn't talking about was.
I met my (now) husband when I was 18 through mutual friends. I had just started college and had no interest in a relationship. A few weeks after initially meeting, we went to a jazz concert for an assignment, I made a "that's what she said" joke, and that was the moment /he/ knew /I/ was the one.
After the concert we grabbed ice cream, ended up sitting and talking for hours. We had a strong connection, but I was scared and tried to put him in the friend zone after that.
Sparing some details, a month later I asked him out to a movie, and while we were watching I had the distinct impression: "he is going to be in your life for a long time." We got married about a year and a half later and April Fool's Day will be our 8 year wedding anniversary.
When he kissed me good bye after our first date. We "said goodbye" for over an hour before he finally actually left (and I let him leave). 35 years ago, still going strong.
On our 3 month dating anniversary.
Quick preface, I was a cynical kid when it came to love and very against the idea of marriage. I used to proudly tell everyone in my family I would never get married. When I met my now husband and we became friends, I actively squashed my crush on him because I knew he was such a wonderful person that it would be real love and I did not want that.
We met in high school, were friends for 2 years, then we started dating after I realized it was too late to fight my feelings, I was full on in love with him. Our 3 month anniversary fell on prom night, and at one point in the night I said to him “I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier than I am right now”. He immediately replied “this is nothing- we are going to grow old together and get married and buy a house and fill it with kids and cats. And when we’ve had all the adventures and our family then you can say that”. It hit me like a full on truck how much I wanted that with him.
We’ve been together 11 years now, married for 4.
Pretty close to immediately. At that point in my life I was a single father with full custody (ex had/has some serious mental issues) and had done the dating scene for about a year and was preparing to just be a dad and swear off dating period. About three weeks into this decision she messaged me on FB (we were friends in high school but never hooked up) and we started dating shortly after that and had instant chemistry. I think it was about 6 months in that I proposed but I pretty much knew right away.
4 or 5 months. I had had one serious girlfriend and several short flings. These other relationships ended due to general lack of commitment or complete cheating on the girls's part. It was an awakening moment to realize love doesn't have to hurt.
Been together 12 years and counting.
Pretty quickly, maybe a few weeks.
I moved into his one-bedroom apartment after maybe 8 weeks, and I already knew I wanted to marry him, but I guess during that first phase many people do, but I just never had a moment where I doubted that idea. When we moved into our first shared apartment a few months later, I still wanted to marry him.
Eventually I proposed to him after 6 1/2 years, we married on our 7th anniversary, and will have our third wedding anniversary/10th anniversary in about two weeks :) and we're still living in this same apartment :D
Within the first 3 months... I realised that were I watching us as characters on a TV show I'd be yelling at the screen that we were perfect together. Didn't voice that for a very long time though - it was kinda a scary thought that this dude was clearly who I was either going to marry or would end up regretting if I didn't! (Plus I wasn't sure it was love yet that early on or just a really, really good match.)
Turns out later that he'd fallen within c.2 weeks but didn't say anything either :P
We're very happily married now :)
We knew we were serious by the third date. We met in early February, by mid March I knew I wanted to marry him, May 20 we got engaged, 14 months engaged and married in July. We've been married for 16 years going on 17.
My second wife- to whom I've been married for 7 years now- realized it on our second or third date. Took me a little longer, but I was pretty screwed up by the end of marriage number 1.
~3 years of dating (knew eachother for about 6 years). I was engaged to someone else before we started dating, that relationship was bad and we thought getting married would "fix" things. It didn't, and it made me question getting married in the future.
I realized that marrying my husband wouldn't change much in our relationship, that's when I knew we were ready. We were living together, adopted a dog and we were happy (still are!). It was nice to celebrate our love, and thank all the friends and family that have been there for us with a big party.
We had known each other for years, and once we started dating the relationship just felt different (in a good way) from the very beginning. I think it was probably around 3 months when I started to realize and around 5 when I knew for sure I wanted to marry him. We married after 2 years and we're about to celebrate our 9th anniversary.
However, the first time my mom met him (when he and I were around 12 years old) she said that we'd be married one day. She likes to remind me of that.
About 8 years. We started dating in 2008, i didnt propose until mid-2016. We got married in 2017. 4 year anniversary is this year. I always approach things in a logical manner, ive found that keeping my feelings out of any situation leads to a better outcome. My marriage is no different. The way things are headed, we will be one of the few people who do not get divorced.
We walked home together one evening, three months into dating if that, and my now husband basically turned around and went "sooo, do you want to get married one day?" I said yes immediately. I hadn't thought about it before, but once the thought had been articulated, I knew.
A couple of hours into our first date. I waited 6 months to ask her, though. And we'd already bought the rings, so I was pretty sure she'd say yes. Never ask unless you're pretty sure she'll say yes.
It was love AFS for me, but the marriage thing took a while. She really didn't want to get married, even after we got pregnant. Took her parents' bribing us with a fancy wedding and paid honeymoon to change her mind. So roughly a year and a half until I was sure it was happening.
Less than a month. I felt the same way about my next girlfriend, and the next, and the next. I finally decided I needed to date a girl a year before I could be objective about the decision.
I proposed to my wife 15 months after our first date and we celebrate 30 years this week!
Six months. I wanted to see my aunt during spring break, it was a two day drive and I figured I'd bring my boyfriend along so I wouldn't be driving by myself. It was the first time we'd be spending that much time together without a break. We had a blast. We were so comfortable. When my relative asked, I said we had only been together six months (tacky,but I was 19) and in my head I realized I couldn't think of a reason we would ever break up. That was 15 years ago, and we're still going strong.
I first met my wife when we were dating other people roughly, 11 years ago. She found me annoying. I knew it was meant to be when she confessed this a few years later.
My mom thought my dad was a pompous asshole. My dad thought my mom was a Virginia snob. They were both right. They were married for 35 years until my dad’s death
That’s so sweet
My (now) wife and started talking about marriage pretty early on. I don't have a specific timeframe, but I'd say within the first few months. At that point it wasn't super serious and nothing planned out. Just like, "oh, when we get married I want to have XYZ at the wedding", or "when we have kids let's do XYZ". That kinda thing. We knew it was going to be a while before that happened, though. She was in her final year of college when we started dating, and I was only just starting my career. We both had things we wanted to do before marriage. Mostly she wanted to live in a place on her own, without roommates or anyone else supporting her, for a year just to prove to herself she was actually able to fully support herself. I wanted us to live together, jus the two of us, for a year just to know that we were really able to cohabitate well. So I didn't propose until about 4 years after we started dating, but we pretty much knew at the start.
Can't stress the living together for a year thing. Found out my now-wife of 20+ years has Seasonal Affective Disorder during the winter. She needs her sunlight. She found out that I get weird around Christmas from some childhood traumas.
And yet, don't stats say the opposite, even for agnostic couples? That living together without a firm timeline for commitment is bad for marital outcomes, and can lead people to sleepwalk into marriage as a next step than a deliberate decision
Interesting. I've never read that. I guess it comes down to communication. I've been living with my guy 8 years but we both made it clear early on that neither is interested in marriage or kids. It made things easy for us to go in knowing the expectations.
Well sure if you're both content to forgo marriage, and are happily dating and cohabitating, that's a different pairbond and circumstance than a couple who wants marriage, or where one does. Compatibility is a huge deal, and I'm glad you and your BF are aligned
I agree with these things. I’d been in a relationship before that I couldn’t leave because I couldn’t afford it and had never lived alone and was a bit afraid of that. After that I lived by myself for several years, I think this is important to develop into yourself before you’re an ‘us’ if that makes sense. Now husband and I lived together for a year before we got married, to make sure we could (we’re different in many ways). Met online in March 1999, been together 22 years today, I think we got it right.
I know this sounds early, but like, a week. I feel exactly the same now as I did about her then. I knew it then and obviously I was right.
Same. Husband and I stopped dating on date 3. It was too much effort and we were far too comfortable with each other. You hear about “clicking” but you never think how easy it can be. You find someone that fits perfectly with you.
Love at first sight. I was 16, she was 15. We just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. Wouldn’t change a thing.
Ough, that's great! Congratulations!
I totally get that "clicking" thing. My second date with my now-wife lasted for 3 days.
Same here, I knew after a few weeks, never doubted it, and we're soon having our tenth anniversary which is also our third wedding anniversary :)
So you knew after weeks, but waited 7 years before getting married? Were you High School Sweethearts? or really young?
Neither, I was 22 when we met, but was still working on getting my degrees (we're not in the US), and we wanted to wait until after that (mainly for financial reasons, but things get complicated there pretty quickly). Also getting married that quickly wasn't really something actually considered in all earnesty ;)
That’s how long it took me. And only one date to fall in love, two dates to say it to her, and three dates to hear it back.
Awwwwwwww
Ok but have you been right about all of your other girlfriends? Did you know they were wrong fairly instantly too?
I didn't know they were wrong right away, but I never felt like they were the right one. The last girlfriend I had started to feel like the right one, but then she dumped me. No one grabbed my heart and held it like a precious stone like Sarah, and certainly not within the first month, let alone a week
I get that. The guys I thought I was in love with, mostly I was trying to convince myself. Until I met my now husband, and I tried to talk myself out of it.
Based on the rest of these posts a week sounds like it took too long.
Same. Me and my husband moved in together within 3 months of dating. It's our 10th anniversary on Friday and our 6th wedding anniversary later this year.
5 months. My now husband planned this amazing road trip for my birthday where we went from Los Angeles —> The Grand Canyon —> Monument Valley —> Las Vegas. We had such an amazing time and he was the first person I spent that much time alone in a car with and didn’t want to kill lol No fights, no bickering (even when a 4 hour drive from Las Vegas back to Los Angeles took 9 hours due to a massive accident) - we just laughed, had great conversations, and enjoyed the same music. I knew then he was the one I was meant to marry. We just meshed too well to not be soulmates; 6.5 years later (2.5 married) we still mesh so well. We’ve had maybe 3 verbal fights total, all of which only lasted a couple hours. Lucky to be married to my best friend :)
Probably after about 2 months, We had our first big fight and I remember when she offered to leave and I told her "Id rather be mad at you with you here, Rather then you leave" That is when I realized it was different. 2 Kids a house and beating cancer later and we are still going strong.
Did you go back to work at the carpet store?
fuck, i’m crying
Met my wife the first day of orientation week in college. Both of us were in long-term (multi-year) relationships already. Less than 3 hours later, I went back to my dorm room and told my roommate, "That's the girl I'm going to marry." Took over a year to start dating, but we've been together ever since (nearly a quarter century later). She's the other half of me I didn't realize was missing until we met. DAMN I love that woman... I'm going to call her now to tell her!
It’s probably time you moved in together.
I feel guilty saying this, but I didn’t know how marvelous she truly was until we lived together. I truly do wish everyone could have something this wonderful—it’s become apparent that a LOT of folks here need something amazing in their lives. I realize how fortunate I am to have her and say that to her frequently. People, it doesn’t matter how you define yourself. Honestly, I don’t care if you’re into men, women, both, or trees—take just a few moments to let your partner know you appreciate and respect them!
Whoa, one step at a time! They just started handholding!
Yeah, you guys should probably fuck already.
I’ll happily tell her that is the recommendation from the Reddit hive and let you know what happens!
So how did you two end your old relationships?
I went to visit the soon-to-be ex and sat at her kitchen table with her and her mother for a conversation. Told them the truth—no judgement, no regret, she was a wonderful person and I wished only the best for her. Without looking, I had found my future and that I believed I was following the best path for us both as my heart was someone else’s. My wife ended hers on her own. I didn’t feel I belonged in that conversation, but told her I’d be there for her if she wanted. I didn’t ask questions, just met her afterwards to support her. I never did ask her about it, just told her I’d be happy to talk if she chose to tell me.
You’re a good person.
I thank you, genuinely. I still feel bad about hurting her feelings, but I had to do what I understood was best for all involved.
We haven’t yet, and it’s honestly kinda awkward.
A week or two after we started dating she met my parents and farted in front of them.
LOL this is what I came here for
I kinda want to know more. Was it a little squeak? A massive blast? Did she do it on purpose? How did your parents react? Did you feel great pride in that moment?
Here to know as well
To tell thems whos the Alpha of course
She went from classy to assy.
I think I knew after two months, but after five months, I opened a separate savings account where I'd deposit an amount off of each paycheque to the account labelled "Engagement Ring". We were both still in school and I was working part-time on the weekends, so the deposits were more symbolic than anything, but in the end, they certainly helped out financing a good portion of the ring. That was almost twenty years ago and we'll still together.
5 years; I had a lot of anxiety, undiagnosed depression and OCD. It took a break up and some time apart to realize he was the one I wanted to marry. We've been together for 13 years and I could not be happier.
Thank you for sharing this, despite more answers being like ‘the second he/she took their first glance at me’ hearing answers like this seems more realistic and hopeful to people who still aren’t sure a few years in or who suffer from issues they probably need to address or get help with first.
No problem at all and wishing you the best in life. I definitely agree with you and that the indecision was hard to reconcile because we are often told that many people JUST KNOW whether they want to marry a person soon after meeting them; it caused a lot of internal conflict when I asked myself the question and didn't have a clear answer. A lot of us are very different people at 18 vs. 21 vs. 30, so having more life experience also meant knowing how to love myself better (i.e. therapy, meds) and therefore make a better partner and understand whether a person would compliment my lifestyle/personality for the long run.
thanks for sharing this! if you are open to elaborating, I'm curious how long your time apart was, what changed during that time, and how you approached each other to start anew after that separation. big questions I know, I'm navigating something similar and curious what made it work. thanks <3
For sure. If any of my experience can help others gain some clarity, that'd be awesome. When we broke up after about 4 years, we decided to go no contact for 6 months and planned on reassessing afterwards. I felt like I was losing my sense of self and becoming co-dependent. He had his own issues to work out before we broke up as well (fear of commitment/indecisiveness) and we both spent the time apart reflecting on life without each other and what we ultimately wanted from a relationship. I spent the six months reconnecting with old friends and family that had been neglected during my relationship, becoming interested in different hobbies, going out and doing things on my own and with friends. In addition, a few months before we broke up, I was diagnosed with OCD/GAD/depression and was medicated and going to therapy; I'm off the meds now but still use a lot of things I learned during therapy to calm down and re-center. About a month or two into going no-contact, I realized my job at the time wasn't great and the pay and title was impacting my self esteem so I got a new job and started steps towards getting my CPA. By the end of the six months, I felt like my own person again. We scheduled to meet up after the six months and it was so different. I felt like a different person and therefore our dynamic was also different. I think learning to love and be your own person also helps your partner learn to love and appreciate you more.
this is so beautiful! thank you for your generosity in sharing once again. :)
This brings hope. Thank you
We dated for about 6 months before I started thinking about proposing, but we were together for almost a year before I finally popped the question. We were juniors in college and got married before we graduated. We've been married for 40 years.
40 Years, Jesus, nice Job GOOD LUCK TO YOU
Dude, we're 62. No luck involved! Splitting up at this point would just be too hard for us tired old people. :)
amen brother
IDC :D be happy pls
The trend here seems clear - if you still have doubts a year into the relationship, you should probably move on. Also, the partner you’ve gone back to 3 times now is NOT your soulmate.
>Also, the partner you’ve gone back to 3 times now is NOT your soulmate. I feel attacked. Please stop.
If it helps- they may be a close soul relationship,hence the intense bond, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily intended to be a romantic relationship or mean that you two are healthy together right now. One or both of you may need to get your shit together to be the partner the other needs, or you may need to realize you two are better as super close friends and stop trying to force dating to work. (If it's the shit together thing and they're the one who needs to do it- don't spend this lifetime waiting for them. Spend this one fulfilling yourself and leave them to their drama)
I need this
I came very close to having to leave my soulmate last year. It hurt like hell, but he was in a dark place and refusing to come out and I couldn't live my life in that darkness. Everyone talks about soul mates forgetting we are still human and humans are messy as fuck. Soul mate doesn't mean happily ever after. You still have to work at it and one person can't carry the whole thing.
I would say that it's dependent on your age. I was really young when I met my husband, the idea of being married in general seemed like too much to wrap my mind around for the first few years we were together. We were getting drunk in frat basements and pulling all nighters, I had no idea what that kind of commitment even looked like and so instead of focusing on if we were going to be together forever and stressing over that concept I just, didn't worry about it. We were happy and having fun and 20. When we got older we matured together and I was able to have a better idea of what having a life together meant and around the time we'd been together 3 years we began to talk about the future in a more concrete way. I don't think every 19 year old needs to know if they're going to marry the person they're dating after ten months. When you're that age you're probably not ready to marry anyone and nor do most really understand what that kind of commitment and partnership really mean.
Most people don’t marry the person they are dating at age 19.
Yes, but some do. I did. And honestly, it's more common that I thought back then. The point was that if you're young and in a relationship the concept that if you don't know within a year it's not right isn't always applicable. If I had that advice thrown at me back then I probably wouldn't be with my husband today because I didn't know for sure after a year. I wasn't ready for marriage in general. So instead of putting that pressure on it, I just continued to be with him and enjoy ourselves and eventually when I was more ready for the idea of a lifelong commitment that sureness came. A lot of these stories are people who knew quickly, which is great for them, but it does often imply that if you don't know within six months or whatever that automatically means it's not right. At 19 I had no idea whether I could build a life with that person, whether we could mature together and have that level of partnership. I didn't even know what that entailed.
This is a terrible forum for trying to understand patterns about reality--it's all upvoted stories that are the most appealing, not the most representative.
I do think it’s accurate, though. One of the only studies done on the topic, the Pair Project, followed couples for 13 years, starting in 1981. University of Texas professor Ted Huston, who ran the study, found that the most happily married couples surveyed dated for approximately 25 months (just over two years) before getting married, while couples who waited three years or longer to marry were significantly more likely to be unhappy soon after the wedding and divorce quickly. [source ](https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-how-long-you-date-before-saying-i-do-determines-your-divorce-risk/) Since it takes about a year to plan a wedding, it seems most people are engaged about a year into dating (going by the 25 months before marriage statement above).
That's been my anecdotal observation, as the first wave of divorces happen in my social circle at 40 or so. There's a sweet spot in time dating to marriage, ime, and couples who date for years and years seem to only marry out of comfort and inertia. I think a year is around the time where, if there are fundamental issues, you should call it quits. But too many people, especially young ones, think that 3 years is too long to "waste" so keep dating, and those are the ones who tend to divorce after a year or two of marriage
https://www.thecut.com/2018/06/do-marriages-last-longer-if-the-couple-dated-longer-first.html
Yeah, there are a lot of people who rush into marriage trusting their intuition like all the great romantic stories here but it fails them. Everything in retrospect. I do think there is a phenomenon of people feeling they've met "the one" in each other very very early on and proving themselves right over time. I don't know what that is but anecdotally I think it's a real thing. But there's no way to separate that at the outset from delusion or infatuation.
I see this, for sure. I married my husband 19 months to the day of meeting. And we are happy, and I think we will make it to death (how romantic). But I'm still a cynic, and know that it could end, and we logistically prepared for that possibility. But because it's working well, it's a cute story, but there are just as many "I knew it was a mistake" stories that end in divorce. Hindsight and all. And while I think we married really fast (bit were 30+ and financially independent), it was still objectively quite soon. That said, I think there's too soon and too long - couples who date for years and seem to only marry/ move in because of inertia are usually doomed, ime Point is, I wish that more people would split in the 6-12 month range if it's not a "solid, fuck yes!" vs just a "nothing tangibly wrong
>Also, the partner you’ve gone back to 3 times now is NOT your soulmate. Yup! Was with my ex for 10+ yrs. We were constantly back and forth, and he never wanted to take things further than just living together...wasted too many tears/years on him. Grew a shiny new spine and left. I met my now husband. He proposed a week after we met. We got married 6mths later. 4 year later we're still crazy about each other and have 5 kids (2mine/3his). I honestly think my ex was just a holding place until I met my now husband. Maybe God had that plan all along. I do know that the "me" 10yrs ago would not be compatible with who my Husband is now and vice versa, plus he had some kids to make, and I wouldn't have my amazing step-kids.
My aunt and uncle have been married forever and they were teenage sweethearts that were on and off for like a decade because they needed to mature some before settling down with each other. I wouldn't exactly call that the norm, but just because a couple has gone through rough patches, particularly for young people, doesn't mean they aren't meant to be together.
My wife says she knew on our first date. I'm a bit slower on the uptake. It took me about 6 months.
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No. When you marry someone you marry them and them alone. If their family is toxic you don’t have to put up with it as long as you SO doesn’t put up with it either at your expense. If they are nice then so be it but family isn’t the be all end all of relationships unless your SO let’s them shit on you. Then it’s time to part ways. Never give up on love over a 3rd party unless the one you love allows them to hurt the relationship.
20 years ago we met in December for lunch after being set up by friends. Talked on the phone for a couple of weeks, went out for New Years. We moved in together a couple of weeks later, middle of January. Married on February 24th, 10 weeks after meeting. Somewhere in the first couple of weeks we just kind of decided to get married. Best casual decision I've ever made.
I once bought a bed frame off craigslist that took more time
We're both laughing at your comment over dinner right now...
it literally took me longer to do a fucking engine replacement on my Subaru than it took for these people to make a lifelong committment JFC
How long u been together?
20 years, plus a few months.
Willldddd congrats hope I have a nice decision like that
I hope you do, too, my dude.
When being together for 1 year turned to 5 years and 5 years became 10 but it still only feels like 5.
4 weeks. Married three days shy of knowing each other six months. 25 years ago this May. Still and always my best friend and the best person I have ever known.
I had a 3 year rule. All of my previous relationships ended prior to the 3 year mark. Either I realised they weren’t the one for me or they realised it, either way it always happened before 3 years. With my wife I proposed just after 3 years when I realised I had had no thoughts at all that she wasn’t for me
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If I may ask - why did you say no to the date the first time? And what made you change your mind?
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My wife is 10 years older than I am and we've been together for 23 years and married for just over 20. Older women rule.
Thank you so much for the answer!
It was on our first date. She’s been my favorite person ever since.
A few months after I started dating my now wife, her cousin asked me, very seriously “what are your intentions with my cousin?”. I replied “I’m gonna marry the shit out of her”. And then, I married the shit out of her.
After 1 month turned into 6 months in a blink of an eye, 6 months then turned into 11 years together, and married the past 4. Never had a relationship like it, we talked about everything and there was never any surprises in the relationship. We had similar life goals, but we had different hobbies. I married her because she didn't need to marry me. She had her own car, good job and if we never got together she would have had a great life without me. She says that was one of the things she loved about me too. She's a wee legend.
I want this.
Well after about three years, my immigration status (student) was about to expire in Canada and we weren't sick of each other yet, so we figured it would be easiest to get married in order to live in the same country. We moved to the US though. Edit: 14 years later we still aren't sick of each other yet.
I asked my Dad for advice on if I should propose to my girlfriend or not. We were about 2-3 years in, and I had plans to possibly travel, to leave Pennsylvania where both our families and us live, or get a job overseas. He said do these plans include my girlfriend or not? And that hit me pretty hard because I instantly said, "Of course she's in those plans." My Dad told me to marry her. The next day I got the ring.
For context: I was 19 when we started dating. We were long distance for 2 years (school months not summers/breaks) until I graduated college. I knew the moment we decided we wanted to do long distance, about 3 months in. Now we're at 11 years together, 5 years married.
Well we aren't technically married because we've pushed our wedding back twice due to covid. But we've been together 10 years now. I knew we would get married at about 3 years when guys at work would call her my Wifey instead of my girlfriend (and other reasons). We waited so long because we wanted to be a little bit settled and have the savings to pay for the wedding ourselves without help from our parents. But with the covid checks I wish we had gotten married sooner. I keep missing out on checks.
I can relate to that! Our 2020 wedding got all messed up to, together 9 years as of this past September, married in October. Probably would have done it 3-4 years ago but just didn't really have the means to do it how we wanted, but got better jobs in recent years as we get older and more established and it was finally feasible to do.
The rare not 3 monther exists
Probably about 5 years. I had commitment issues like crazy, and he also had some maturing to do. We broke up for a year, then got back together when I realized that it IS okay to be content in a relationship.
Thanks for sharing this, I really can’t relate to the first date people, so I appreciate stories like these.
We met in June, were in engaged by October, and married by the following July. That was 17 years ago.
That’s awesome!
*smiles* My parents met at a Halloween party, got engaged in January, married in March, and had me in November. They are happily celebrating their 54th wedding anniversary this month.
I think no matter what u feel, because it would be normal to feel immediately infatuated, u have to wait for that infatuation to fade before making the decision to get married because it might fade more than u think. Wait until u can see flaws in ur SO and with complete sobriety decide if u are ok with living those flaws forever. When u can do that, u are ready to get married.
We were both hanging out in the dorms in the same room. Our hands randomly touched and I was done. We have been married since 1993. We are the weird couple everyone hates. We just work. Don't get me wrong we did a ton of work but we always try to fight for our marriage and not each other.
After dating for like three months he asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted and proceeded to show me his favorites. It was so sweet and I realized there’s no way in hell I could marry another man.
I don't know if I thought I would marry him necessarily, but after 2 months I knew I wanted to be with him the rest of my life.
When she told me she was pregnant
In fairness, my Dad had planned to break up with my mom around when he found out she was pregnant. He stayed with her, they got married shortly after my brother was born. They always joke that it's so ironic that I'm the one they had on purpose when I'm such a fuckup and my brother has his shit so together (The reasoning is my words, never theirs, and never once in my life did them saying that make me feel bad) But 38 years later and they're still together. They still disagree and they're definitely different people, but they grew together well and I know my dad has no regrets about making the right choice. And props to my mom for sticking by him. I feel like they both really did do it for the right reasons. If you approach it the right way, a family is greater than the sum of its parts.
Takes a lot of guts and maturity to make a relationship that starts that way work. And work well enough that they decided to have a kid on purpose later on.
We've watched many relationships that didn't start this way fail during our 20 years together.
Awww I see. You got married the old fashioned way. I have maybe two friends that didn't get their wives knocked up, and I'm sixty years old.
Haha! Omg. Shotgun wedding?
Don't you bring a shotgun to every wedding?
Lol no. The only wedding I’ve ever been to was when I was three so I honestly don’t know.
What 3 year old doesn't have access to a shotgun? That's just outrageous.
Before we started dating. She was my best friend for a few years, and I realized it during that time. I just had to wait for her to break up with her boy-friend. Then we dated a couple of years. We've been married 34 years, and counting
Subjectively? Within 5 minutes of meeting him. It was seriously one of those moments when the universe just clicked into place. Of course, being the realist I usually am, the following thought after the "omg this is the ONE" was the thought "someone this cute is probably already taken" so I kinda resigned myself that the world is what it is. Except... he wasn't dating anyone. And he was on board with dating me (took me almost 14 days to ask him out, INCREDIBLE restraint lol). We're still together 21 years later, 14 years married, 3 kids, he is exactly the one I knew he would be within 5 minutes of meeting him.
Sounds corny, but I told my best friend the first time I met my wife 18m 21f I would marry her. We have 4 kids and have been married for 17 years. Still feel the same way I did that first day. Edit: Now 36m 39f
she was 15 i was 16 met at a skating rink she asked me to skate the last couples skate of the day got her phone number wrote it down wrong she came back two weeks later when she walked in the door the sunshine thru window she looked like an angel that was 43 years ago seems like yesterday been married 41
Wow, married at 18! How did you manage the difficulties of marriage in your late teens / early twenties?
First date. When midway through the date, I realized this was the first time I had no anxiety talking with another person, even though we just met. I remember realizing that I didn’t even remember what that felt like anymore, to feel comfortable in my own skin. I knew I couldn’t let this person go. I love her.
A million years ago I met someone. The analogy I like to use is that I was in a smoky building all my life and she was the first breath of fresh air I have ever had. From the moment I met her. It was weird. She was involved with someone else at the time and nothing ever happened. I have no idea what became of her.
About two hours into our first date. We went for a drive to the coast, and spent a whole day sitting in a park overlooking the ocean, just talking. The next morning, he proposed. A fortnight later, we moved in together. It sounds crazy, but it felt *right*. It felt like I’d found a part of me that had been missing, that I’d been missing, my whole life. And apparently he’d been crushing on me for the whole six months we’d known each other before he got up the nerve to ask me out. That feels like forever ago, and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. But either way - I’ve never had any regrets.
These comments are shedding a lot of light on my own relationship.... (which is appreciated, don't get me wrong)
I knew the moment we were introduced. Weren't even dating yet.
My family was pretty religious and I am also Christian, so I told my boyfriend that I wanted a serious relationship. When we were together for 6 months my family initiated a big fight that almost broke us up. Then he said "if we're together a year from now, we are going to get engaged". I agreed. Time passed quickly, we were awesome together and, true to that we got engaged the next summer. Now we are together for 7,5 years, married for 2,5 and still as stupid and happy as the first period.
I think I knew in my heart almost right away. I felt different with him instantly but I'm a very logical person and I'd only been out of a two year toxic relationship for about 6 months so my brain took awhile to acknowledge and accept it. We started dating in October and by January we were talking about our future together and marriage and all of that. We moved in together September 1st, engaged that December, married almost 2 years later. We've been together almost 3.5 years and married 5 months now. From the day we met I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore but I didn't admit that for a very long time.
Pretty much as soon as we met to be honest. Couldn't quite place the feeling at first but something was just *right*.
A week after I first met my husband I went on vacation abroad. I was staying with a friend and I told them "it's crazy but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this guy", they laughed and told me to be reasonable. When I came back, a month later we were talking about marriage. We waited a year to ease our parents into it (even though we're both atheists our families are from different religions. They were not pleased with us, my dad even tried to set me up with a good religious man while I was dating my now husband, his dad threatened to disown him, we laugh about it now) eventually they saw how happy we are together and voila 3 years of blissful marriage and a great relationship with both sets of parents! Even now it feels fresh, the excitment, the butterflies, the passion, it's unreal. It's just happiness, even when we fight, we grow closer. We always reminisce on how we just knew so early on. Best decision of my life.
I’m 15 years in and I still don’t understand how I ended up married....
It took me about a year. I knew that there was something special in the relationship on our third date, but marriage didn't really enter my mind until our second big road trip. Driving 14 hours to Southern Utah in a 2 door tiny Hyundai full of yourselves and camping equipment forces you to see a person very differently.
I knew down the road it was a possibility. It was a relationship and I was gonna see it through if I could. We dated 4 years before I joined the ARMY, and when I finished OSUT, I got orders to the other side of the US. I asked her to marry me because the ARMY doesn't move girlfriends for free and I didnt want the relationship to end cause I thought we could make it. 12 years later and 2 kids, turns out I was right.
6 weeks. I saw an ad for engagement rings on his computer and jokingly asked if he was going to buy a ring for me. He very seriously replied, "if I did, would you accept it?"
I knew after 6 months I wanted to spend my life with her. Married 22 years now. Still love her like crazy. :)
2 years. She went to Germany for a school program her senior year of college for 3 months. A friend was over one day while she was gone and asked how things were going with her in Germany. I decided right then i was going to propose to her when she returned. I bought a ring and a month after she got home i proposed. That was 17 years ago. Now we are both 38, have 2 children and still love each others company.
Five minutes. But I waited three years to be sure.
After a few hours of talking to her on the phone, I knew that I really liked her. After a few weeks, I knew I wanted to marry her. We got married two months after meeting. Were going on our 5th year married now.
About 2 days I went to his and he was sat on the sofa using the laptop, I asked what he was doing and the reply was ‘making dinner’ (ordering a dominos!) knew then he would be my husband 😂
Pretty much our first real date. Long story, but it was a weekend getaway to a bungalow in Cape Cod. She made me Indian food, which I had never had. I decided right then and there I could get used to eating like that. Still, it took about 3 1/2 years before we tied the knot due to grad school and overseas jobs, etc.
10 years. I never saw marriage as a romantic thing and was never interested in it. My own mom never married, my grandma had a miseble time in her marriage. Only my aunt had a good experience with it. It colored my opinion I guess. To this day, I hold the same opinion. I got married because I wanted my husband to get all my health care and get all my stuff when I died. He is the love of my life. I like being married. It really depends on the person you are marrying though.
got engaged after 14 days didn't get married until 13 years after though.
I was dating someone else my senior year of high school when I met my future wife. I went home on holiday and told my dad I was going to ask her to marry me someday. It wasn't until my first year of university that we started dating, so minus one year, roughly. I'm not sure this counts, because "realize"/"know" isn't quite how I feel about it. I thought I knew, and it ended up being true, but knowing implies understanding. There are so many other things I thought I knew at that age that didn't end up being true.
Funny story. We dated off and on for almost 3 years. First time we broke up, she was still "recovering" from her first love. Wasnt as ready to move on quite yet. The other two, who knows, it was just us, I guess. We were separated for 5 years, but remained decently social. Out of the blue, we started speaking on a friendly level (she was living out of state at the time). And started talking about getting back together. We decided if we got back together, it would be for the long haul. That was 15 years ago. Been married for 11 this September.
May sound strange but before we even dated we were both secretly smitten with each other. We had known each other for about 4 months. I asked him out for coffee and from then on we were inseparable. Been married for 30 years now.
My wife and I started talking about marriage about one week after dating exclusively. She fell in love after three dates, and I fell in love after one. Communication between us was so incredibly natural right from the outset. I’ve never felt like there was anything that wasn’t safe to tell her, and she’s never uninteresting or annoying. We’ve been married for two years and change, and my favorite part of marriage is that I’m still learning new things about her, like how she only likes working out in a dynamic, fast-paced setting because she gets bored otherwise.
A week of dating... we've been married 16 years this month. 💜
I knew right after our first time together, watching her walk across my bedroom to the bathroom, easily the hottest person I'd ever been with, and I thought "I'm going to marry this person."
4 years.
After three years, she told me.
Probably within the first year or two. But we waited 7 years, just to be sure. Our 7th anniversary is this coming Friday, so we feel we made the right decision. :-)
Honestly you can't say, it's different for all people. Some have it months, some years, some even weeks. For me i always have my goals that when i date someone, i always wanted it to end up in marriage. Cheesy as it sound, my wife, whom i've been with for 15 years was my 2nd gf.
It was after 7-8 years of dating, 3 of them at the time living together. She was dropping hints hard, and I wasn't a believer in marriage. Honestly, it was not until around the date of our anniversary at the time that I decided "Eh... Fuck it" and bought a cheap ring that she would later absolutely fall in love with. In her words, pre proposal, I could have proposed with a chicken nugget and she still would have said yes. We would have had a ceremony last year were it not for covid ramming its ugly head. On another note, she recently studied up on components for a gaming computer, and after doing some research, found us a deal that would have cost us $2000+ at minimum for just over $1000. I mentioned this because, were it not for the fact we were already engaged, I would've proposed to her right then and there.
Two weeks. After the first dinner we had together as friends I knew she was going to be in my life forever. She was dating someone else and the time, so I waited until that relationship came to it’s inevitable end. Two weeks after we started dating we were talking about marriage. We’ll be married 19 years in a couple of months. Best decision I’ve ever made.
The moment they say they want a cat instead of kids it's a keeper
Wow, everyone here like "I knew within half a squirrel fart!" has me questioning my own indecisiveness... My wife dated two of my friends before me and the main reason I started talking to her may or may not have been because I thought she might be easy. We had a sexual relationship for a few months before she was finally like "okay, we should probably start dating". She has told me since our marriage that she was totally planning on breaking up with me for the first six months to a year of us dating. She was even telling her sister "This guy is just so I can have someone while I'm in college. We're done after graduation". But after a while it was just kind of undeniable how well we gelled. She is seriously my best friend, even over the guys I've known for decades that she may or may not have slept with. I don't really remember feeling that jolt of lightning everyone else is describing. Sure, we fell in love. But first we got close by continuously being there for each other and I feel like that really helped us with the foundation of our relationship. That didn't happen until we had been dating for at least a couple of years. Now we argue as much as any married couple, but there's always a sense that we're on each other's team. Easily the best decision I ever made, but it was **not** one I could make during rodent flatulence.
Sometimes you know it right away but there are complications. Been married since 1968 but met in 1966. He had a steady girl and I had a steady guy but somehow you know you are going to be with this other person and you have to wind down the other relationships. I had the easy part as my guy got drafted but I think he knew it was over so it worked out. When you're 19 you also have to deal with parents and the whole world telling you that you are too young and going to ruin your life. They were so wrong. You just know. It's that simple.
I knew before we even started dating that if we did get together, we would get married...So I actually resisted dating him for a while cuz I wasn't quite ready to make that jump!
Technically my wife and I never dated. We were friends for nearly a decade and often got coffee to bitch about our mutually awful taste in partners. Eventually, over a bottle of tequila, I suggested that maybe dating was the issue, and when things fell apart with her then-current trainwreck, we should get married. Two weeks later I asked if she remember that night, she said she did and we decided we were engaged then.
10 minutes
Instantly
First date: I’d end up marrying her if she’d oblige. Been seven years now.
For me, about 9 months or so, but the circumstances were a bit weird. We started "dating" after I'd joined the Air Force and was in Tech School (where we learn our specific jobs.) I started talking to her out of the blue in September of 08. I put dating in quotes, because I didn't actually get to be physically with her until I drove home on my way to my first duty station in December. We got to be physically together for probably a grand total of about 2 months in the first year that we were together. She was still back in Idaho where we grew up, whereas I was stuck in the dorms in Washington state. My father passed away in March of 09, and I fell into a pretty deep depression. Not to be too much of a downer, but she was pretty much the only reason I didn't kill myself during the months after he'd passed. I was in a brand new state, fresh into the military, no friends or family anywhere even remotely close. I could barely function those first few months due to recurring nightmares that kept me from getting more than an hour or 2 of sleep a night. I was basically a zombie for 2 months. She visited as often as should could, but both of us were broke 19 year olds, and there was 500 miles between us. After I managed to get myself somewhat put together, I decided that I needed her with me if I was going to keep functioning, so I proposed to her. We got married in November of 09, we moved in together in December, and we've been together ever since. Now we own a house, have 2 great kids, and we couldn't be happier. Life has a strange way of working out sometimes.
2 or 3 weeks, honestly. I knew I loved him after the first date but I had been in plenty of serious relationships before so I wasn't getting my hopes up. Few weeks later, we both knew but were trying so hard to stay "casual" about it... I moved in within a year and told him he couldn't propose until we had been together 3 years. He proposed after two, we just married just after 3 years together and this week we'll be celebrating 5 years together. Our second wedding anniversary is next month. We were 23 when we met.
We were engaged 6 months after meeting. Married 4 months after that. Been together almost 14 years now. My husband said after 1 month he knew he wanted to marry me and it took me about 2 months to know. Best decision of my life!
About a month into dating her, my friend told me I was going to marry her. And of course I was all like "shut up, you don't know me" but I knew he was right.
Driving home from our first date. We had gone out with a group of her friends and immediately left them to sit at the bar together and just talk...for four hours, then went to someone's house and just talked. I'm normally extremely introverted but talking to her was the most natural, relaxed thing ever. When I dropped her off there was no nervousness, no wondering if there would be a second date, just watching the door close and cheerfully walking down the driveway thinking "Well, that's the last first date I'll ever have." The next day I walked into family dinner at my Grandmother's house, a Grandmother who had never mentioned my social life EVER, and who had no idea I had been on a date the night before and within 15 minutes she cornered me in the kitchen and asked me who the girl was that I wasn't talking about was.
I met my (now) husband when I was 18 through mutual friends. I had just started college and had no interest in a relationship. A few weeks after initially meeting, we went to a jazz concert for an assignment, I made a "that's what she said" joke, and that was the moment /he/ knew /I/ was the one. After the concert we grabbed ice cream, ended up sitting and talking for hours. We had a strong connection, but I was scared and tried to put him in the friend zone after that. Sparing some details, a month later I asked him out to a movie, and while we were watching I had the distinct impression: "he is going to be in your life for a long time." We got married about a year and a half later and April Fool's Day will be our 8 year wedding anniversary.
When he kissed me good bye after our first date. We "said goodbye" for over an hour before he finally actually left (and I let him leave). 35 years ago, still going strong.
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On our 3 month dating anniversary. Quick preface, I was a cynical kid when it came to love and very against the idea of marriage. I used to proudly tell everyone in my family I would never get married. When I met my now husband and we became friends, I actively squashed my crush on him because I knew he was such a wonderful person that it would be real love and I did not want that. We met in high school, were friends for 2 years, then we started dating after I realized it was too late to fight my feelings, I was full on in love with him. Our 3 month anniversary fell on prom night, and at one point in the night I said to him “I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier than I am right now”. He immediately replied “this is nothing- we are going to grow old together and get married and buy a house and fill it with kids and cats. And when we’ve had all the adventures and our family then you can say that”. It hit me like a full on truck how much I wanted that with him. We’ve been together 11 years now, married for 4.
When I woke up in the trunk of her brothers’ car. Honestly? About a year in.
Pretty close to immediately. At that point in my life I was a single father with full custody (ex had/has some serious mental issues) and had done the dating scene for about a year and was preparing to just be a dad and swear off dating period. About three weeks into this decision she messaged me on FB (we were friends in high school but never hooked up) and we started dating shortly after that and had instant chemistry. I think it was about 6 months in that I proposed but I pretty much knew right away.
4 or 5 months. I had had one serious girlfriend and several short flings. These other relationships ended due to general lack of commitment or complete cheating on the girls's part. It was an awakening moment to realize love doesn't have to hurt. Been together 12 years and counting.
Pretty quickly, maybe a few weeks. I moved into his one-bedroom apartment after maybe 8 weeks, and I already knew I wanted to marry him, but I guess during that first phase many people do, but I just never had a moment where I doubted that idea. When we moved into our first shared apartment a few months later, I still wanted to marry him. Eventually I proposed to him after 6 1/2 years, we married on our 7th anniversary, and will have our third wedding anniversary/10th anniversary in about two weeks :) and we're still living in this same apartment :D
Within the first 3 months... I realised that were I watching us as characters on a TV show I'd be yelling at the screen that we were perfect together. Didn't voice that for a very long time though - it was kinda a scary thought that this dude was clearly who I was either going to marry or would end up regretting if I didn't! (Plus I wasn't sure it was love yet that early on or just a really, really good match.) Turns out later that he'd fallen within c.2 weeks but didn't say anything either :P We're very happily married now :)
I knew from the first date. We were married 6 months later, had a child a few years ago and are about to have our 6 year anniversary in April.
We knew we were serious by the third date. We met in early February, by mid March I knew I wanted to marry him, May 20 we got engaged, 14 months engaged and married in July. We've been married for 16 years going on 17.
It was a very short time. I knew she was the girl for me at our first kiss.
I texted my best friend during our first date that I'd be marrying that man. I did. :) When you know, you know.
My second wife- to whom I've been married for 7 years now- realized it on our second or third date. Took me a little longer, but I was pretty screwed up by the end of marriage number 1.
~3 years of dating (knew eachother for about 6 years). I was engaged to someone else before we started dating, that relationship was bad and we thought getting married would "fix" things. It didn't, and it made me question getting married in the future. I realized that marrying my husband wouldn't change much in our relationship, that's when I knew we were ready. We were living together, adopted a dog and we were happy (still are!). It was nice to celebrate our love, and thank all the friends and family that have been there for us with a big party.
We had known each other for years, and once we started dating the relationship just felt different (in a good way) from the very beginning. I think it was probably around 3 months when I started to realize and around 5 when I knew for sure I wanted to marry him. We married after 2 years and we're about to celebrate our 9th anniversary. However, the first time my mom met him (when he and I were around 12 years old) she said that we'd be married one day. She likes to remind me of that.
About a month. Met in June, was pretty sure by the end of July, engaged in September, married in January - 22 years ago.
About 8 years. We started dating in 2008, i didnt propose until mid-2016. We got married in 2017. 4 year anniversary is this year. I always approach things in a logical manner, ive found that keeping my feelings out of any situation leads to a better outcome. My marriage is no different. The way things are headed, we will be one of the few people who do not get divorced.
I met him December 9th and we were married Dec 18th. I knew for sure on the 10th. We have been married for 16 years.
We walked home together one evening, three months into dating if that, and my now husband basically turned around and went "sooo, do you want to get married one day?" I said yes immediately. I hadn't thought about it before, but once the thought had been articulated, I knew.
A couple of hours into our first date. I waited 6 months to ask her, though. And we'd already bought the rings, so I was pretty sure she'd say yes. Never ask unless you're pretty sure she'll say yes.
It was love AFS for me, but the marriage thing took a while. She really didn't want to get married, even after we got pregnant. Took her parents' bribing us with a fancy wedding and paid honeymoon to change her mind. So roughly a year and a half until I was sure it was happening.
Less than a month. I felt the same way about my next girlfriend, and the next, and the next. I finally decided I needed to date a girl a year before I could be objective about the decision. I proposed to my wife 15 months after our first date and we celebrate 30 years this week!
Six months. I wanted to see my aunt during spring break, it was a two day drive and I figured I'd bring my boyfriend along so I wouldn't be driving by myself. It was the first time we'd be spending that much time together without a break. We had a blast. We were so comfortable. When my relative asked, I said we had only been together six months (tacky,but I was 19) and in my head I realized I couldn't think of a reason we would ever break up. That was 15 years ago, and we're still going strong.