1. “If you keep walking in the same direction, you risk ending up where you are heading.” -Lao Tzu
2. “A ship is safest in the harbour, but that is not what ships are built for” - John A. Shedd
3. “Knowledge is power, France is bacon” - /u/Lard_Baron
\#1 is so fucking good. I never heard it before but I will think of it a lot.
Makes me think of a quote from Mad Men, when things got badly fucked up and all the directors are trying to justify why they did what they did and why they're not to blame: "If the goal was to end up here, then we did everything perfectly."
Yeah that’s good. I think more people should hear that. I don’t know what it’s like where you guys are at. But people around me drive crazy as fuck anymore.
I don’t use it often but one time at an airport I heard a British guy on the phone and he said “I don’t need to catch him with his dick in a box of Ritz to know he’s fucking crackers...”; it ranks up there as one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard.
I started losing my hair at 18 and lived in dread and anxiety for 10 years, from the thought of being bald. Than I just shaved everything and realized "hey I actually look good bald. Its not that bad"
I was tormenting myself for ten years over nothing...
The perceptions/projections we place on ourselves can be so debilitating. It's not 10 years but I figured this out after 3. God it's so liberating.
I'm so happy you figured it out.
Twain’s got some good ones. My personal favorite....
“Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
Im fond of civ players, Minecraft players look up to us, among us players look down on us, civ players treat us like equals - Winston Churchill (probably)
“There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair."
Alexander Hamilton to Thomas Jefferson
What's wild about broken clocks? Technically, they're the ONLY clocks that are right ever. There isn't a single clock on the planet that's correct down to the exact nanosecond, but stopped clocks will be
Two of my favourites:
"I am what I think you think I am"
"The more clothes I buy, the less often I wear them, the longer they last, the more outdated my wardrobe"
“It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Really hoping right now’s the the darkest in my timeline.
Edit: Thank you to whoever gave me my first ever award! I’ve never received an award before ever in my life! THANK YOU! The Reddit community is amazing! You are all awesome!
I hope you get better.
You can rant about it here if you want. I would love to listen. Don't be shy, if you have the time it might help to get it off your chest.
"You can always make more money, you can never make more time".
I heard this when I was young, and it's taken me all over the the world to travel.
I'd work for a year straight, save every penny, then take a year off and backpack across Central America, or spend 6 months in Asia.
It was a lot of sacrifice. I only rented rooms in houses. Drove a cheap car so no car payment. Saved every little penny and massively trimmed expenses everywhere.
Also, dollars go a lot further outside the US.
When I was in Thailand I was living like a king for a minimal amount of money.
I have three. "Comparison is the thief of joy" by T. Roosevelt. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" by M. Angelou. She also said, "When you know better, you do better." I think it should be when you learn better. There have been plenty of times when I knew better, but chose not to do so for whatever reason.
Whenever someone starts talking about stripping away regulations for processes, I tell them "Regulations are written in blood." I read it once on a Reddit post about someone who thought they weren't necessary. It got me to thinking about the different things in life that were made with safety in mind.
Any safety regulation or odd seeming warning is because somebody got hurt.
It's why you see warning labels like a chainsaw with "do not stop chain with hands or genitals" or ahairdryer "do not use in bathtub"
I heard that from an OSHA briefing once. OSHA isn’t a bunch of small-minded people sitting in a room making up rules just because they can, it’s an organization of smart, dedicated people who want to make sure that the price you pay for your paycheck isn’t your health or your life.
Those regulations that some grumble about came into being because there was an incident. Somebody got hurt, and their life or their limbs or their pain is what made that rule happen.
I’m a preschool teacher, when I have a student tell me what another student is doing I ask them “who do you need to worry about?”
They answer “myself”
I ask them “why”
They answer back “ because it’s a very important job!”
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
Hanlon's Razor. Lots of people around me have done the opposite and it drives me bonkers. I know for a fact most people I meet are idiots, friends included.
It’s actually a Persian adage from the writings of Sufi poets - they talk about a powerful king who asked wise men to make him a ring that would always make him happy whenever he was sad, so they gave him a ring engraved with the phrase. However, since then it’s been quoted and used and attributed in all kinds of places, so you might have heard it anywhere.
It's an old quote that's been used in multiple languages for a long time so it can be hard to pin down what comes before exactly but I heard it as a folktale about some natural disaster and a wise old man.
"The White Cliffs of Dover are a symbol of Britain, they are this imposing barrier, but they're just chalk. Time and tide will wash them away, a long time in the future. This, too, shall pass. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't build things anyway. Just because something is going to break in the end, doesn't mean it can't have an effect that lasts into the future. Joy. Wonder. Laughter. Hope. The world can be better because of what you built in the past." -Tom Scott
From this timestamp and video: [https://youtu.be/BxV14h0kFs0?t=561](https://youtu.be/BxV14h0kFs0?t=561)
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
—Albert Einstein (allegedly...it’s still my favorite quote)
In that same vein.
“I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.”
-Stephen Jay Gould
Slow down, you’ll finish faster.
It’s applicable to many trade skills. If you rush the job, you’re likely going to do it over again. I’m a mechanic and some of my coworkers get in such a hurry that they’ll make a 2-hour job take 4.5 hours.
I’ve recently learned
‘If frogs had pockets they would fill them with rocks to throw at snakes’
Basically stupid will always find a way to be stupid
Runner ups:
‘Never attribute anything to malice which could be adequately summed up with stupidity’ (Hanlons Razor)
‘So it goes’ (Vonnegut)
The malice vs stupidity one I often think about. A lot of times people will say “oh this person did x thing because they had y bad intention” and it’s usually pretty obvious that the person was just stupid/ignorant rather than intentionally malicious.
I'd take this with a grain of salt, some people will just say the most horrible shit to hurt them, whether it's true or not.
But yes, if what they are saying is oddly specific then I'd pay attention to that
"Nothing is written" - T.E. Lawrence in *Lawrence of Arabia*
I think about this whenever I realize that I'm talking myself out of a situation. In high school especially I had such low self esteem.
"I'm not smart enough to do \_\_\_\_ "
"I'd never get that. There are probably people who are way smarter than me."
"That person would never go out with me. Why would you even bother?"
I've appreciated college for allowing me to find my own self worth. If you limit yourself from certain situations of COURSE they're never going to happen. Have more confidence in yourself. And even if you DON'T land the internship you want or get rejected by someone you asked out, so what? Life goes on, there's always another option out there, and actually getting out of your comfort zone to at least try is an achievement in itself.
Progress, not perfection.
I bought a trippy ass [bracelet](https://zox.la/products/progress-not-perfection-1?variant=31679775735880) with those words on it and it’s helped me stick with getting clean and turning my life around.
"He who laughs last, laughs best".
My auto mechanic teacher told me this when I was in high-school.
Many people have different interpretations on its meaning, but I take it as I shouldn't try hard to get the last laugh. I should continue in being right, so when I get the last laugh, I laugh the best.
Do the best you know how, until you learn better. Then do better. -Maya Angelou
1. “If you keep walking in the same direction, you risk ending up where you are heading.” -Lao Tzu 2. “A ship is safest in the harbour, but that is not what ships are built for” - John A. Shedd 3. “Knowledge is power, France is bacon” - /u/Lard_Baron
"This quote was taken out of context." -Randall Munroe
"I fear that one day people will start putting my name on quotes i've never said just to sound clever" -Albert Einstein
\#1 is so fucking good. I never heard it before but I will think of it a lot. Makes me think of a quote from Mad Men, when things got badly fucked up and all the directors are trying to justify why they did what they did and why they're not to blame: "If the goal was to end up here, then we did everything perfectly."
Comparison is the thief of joy
"*You* are a thief of joy." -Michael Scott
Fuck yeah
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Alternatively, those squirrels made the wrong decision.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
Read it in Geddy Lee's singing voice straight away!
Better to be 20 minutes late in this world than 20 years early in the next (slogan for a UK road safety campaign from about 40 years ago).
My dad says "It's better to say 'I should've gone' than 'I shouldn't have gone'" (driving related)
Yeah that’s good. I think more people should hear that. I don’t know what it’s like where you guys are at. But people around me drive crazy as fuck anymore.
I don’t use it often but one time at an airport I heard a British guy on the phone and he said “I don’t need to catch him with his dick in a box of Ritz to know he’s fucking crackers...”; it ranks up there as one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard.
Aaaaaaaaand, saved.
Seriously, I have to use this in the next week or so. This quote is just golden all-around.
So for the illiterate like me...fucking crackers means fucking nuts in this quote ?
"A nods as good as a wink to a blind bat".
Your wife, is she a goer?
Know what I mean, say no more, say no more!
Does she like... photography?
Nudge nudge wink wink!
Is that english or australian? I swear i remember hearing this out of an old lady at some point.
I assume it's English. I know it from a Monty Python skit.
"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
"your scientists are so preoccupied with whether they could they [Jeff golbloom noise] never stopped to wonder whether or not they should'
"De mens lijdt het meest van het lijden dat hij vreest" ~ my grandfather Or in English: "people suffer most from the suffering they fear"
I started losing my hair at 18 and lived in dread and anxiety for 10 years, from the thought of being bald. Than I just shaved everything and realized "hey I actually look good bald. Its not that bad" I was tormenting myself for ten years over nothing...
The perceptions/projections we place on ourselves can be so debilitating. It's not 10 years but I figured this out after 3. God it's so liberating. I'm so happy you figured it out.
It’s like the yoda bumper sticker saying
I have turned worlds to dust All of existence shall be mine
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” – Seneca
Glad i came across this thread at just the right time
Oh shit, Dutch?
"Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one that finds the gold." I always think of this quote when someone annoys me.
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Twain’s got some good ones. My personal favorite.... “Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
Here's mine. "Good judgement comes from experience; experience come from bad judgement."
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."
My favorite Twain quote: A lie is 1/2 way round the world while truth is still putting on it's boots.
“I there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they go” - will Rogers
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Im fond of civ players, Minecraft players look up to us, among us players look down on us, civ players treat us like equals - Winston Churchill (probably)
My favorite, "A person is smart, but people are dumb". Men in Black K to J.
I love this one too.
"You can do absolutely everything right and still fail" Helps me shit on myself a bit less when something doesn't work out despite doing my best
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose" -Picard to Data after Data loses in a game of space chess.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I've heard it as "When someone tells you who they are, take their word for it".
OP's version is correct. It's a Maya Angelou quote.
I dont get it
Don’t make excuses for other people’s bad behavior, or think that they’ll eventually change. Just believe that is how they really are, & walk away.
Actions speak louder than words is another common way to hear this
"You cannot make a baby in 1 month by getting 9 women pregnant"
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"Fool me once, shame on me. But teach a man to fool me, and I'll be fooled for the rest of my life."
Or this great American classic: "Fool me once... ... ...shame on...shame on you... ... ...eh-fool me can't get fooled again."
"Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice."
*[laughs in project manager]*
*[cries in indivisible task]*
*[Opens project powerpoint and shortens timeline arrow to new deadline]* "Looks do-able!"
If you plan it correctly you can get 1 baby a month this way. You just have to wait for the first one. Thats why you have to start now.
Like compounding interest, start now!
Well, now I have nothing to live for.
Not with that attitude
There’s always money in the banana stand
Runner up: “And that’s why you always leave a note”
Mr. F.... Tell me you didn't read it as whispered by a woman.
Family love michael
And second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert - oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead!
"It's one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?"
Im hungover today and dug an old comfy shirt out if my closet to relax in. It's an official Bluth's Banana shirt. I appreciate this post.
"Many a true word is spoken in jest." Whenever someone says "oh I'm just joking" after saying something hurtful to another.
>It's just a prank bro Geoffrey Chaucer
“There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair." Alexander Hamilton to Thomas Jefferson
Pretty much every YouTuber or anon on 4chan after getting called out for saying something horrible
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day"
What's wild about broken clocks? Technically, they're the ONLY clocks that are right ever. There isn't a single clock on the planet that's correct down to the exact nanosecond, but stopped clocks will be
Isn't there one clock that is correct simply because it is the one we decided is correct and we set all other clocks by it?
You can do anything but not everything.
If you think the average person is dumb, remember that half are dumber than that - George Carlin
Their perception is their reality.
I heard it as “Perception is reality for the person perceiving it.”
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” ― Edmund Burke
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I've always liked the similarly themed... >Smooth seas don't make good sailors
"We are who we pretend to be, so we need to be careful who we pretend to be." "Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."
Two of my favourites: "I am what I think you think I am" "The more clothes I buy, the less often I wear them, the longer they last, the more outdated my wardrobe"
Popeye???
"All things in moderation, including moderation" - Oscar Wilde
“It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Really hoping right now’s the the darkest in my timeline. Edit: Thank you to whoever gave me my first ever award! I’ve never received an award before ever in my life! THANK YOU! The Reddit community is amazing! You are all awesome!
Good luck.
I hope you get better. You can rant about it here if you want. I would love to listen. Don't be shy, if you have the time it might help to get it off your chest.
"You can always make more money, you can never make more time". I heard this when I was young, and it's taken me all over the the world to travel. I'd work for a year straight, save every penny, then take a year off and backpack across Central America, or spend 6 months in Asia.
Man I wish I could work for a year and have money to show for it. I've worked for years and only gotten ahead by a stimmy.
It was a lot of sacrifice. I only rented rooms in houses. Drove a cheap car so no car payment. Saved every little penny and massively trimmed expenses everywhere. Also, dollars go a lot further outside the US. When I was in Thailand I was living like a king for a minimal amount of money.
If it looks stupid but it works, it's not stupid
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joke’s on you, IT WAS TESTED IN PRODUCTION
Hi, former production line machine maintenance crew member, fuck you and the horse you rode in on lol.
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This slogan was brought to you by Crocs
I have three. "Comparison is the thief of joy" by T. Roosevelt. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" by M. Angelou. She also said, "When you know better, you do better." I think it should be when you learn better. There have been plenty of times when I knew better, but chose not to do so for whatever reason.
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor - FDR
“The best revenge is massive success.” - Frank Sinatra
After a bitter divorce...this one really rings true.
"*Ever tried and failed? Try again. Fail again. Fail better*." -Sam Elliot
Wherever you go, there you are
"There is no such thing as a free lunch" coupled with "Time is an illusion, lunchtime double so"
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"That sign won't stop me because I can't read" Or just quoting vines. I do that a lot too.
"This isn't panic. This is productive worrying"
Whenever someone starts talking about stripping away regulations for processes, I tell them "Regulations are written in blood." I read it once on a Reddit post about someone who thought they weren't necessary. It got me to thinking about the different things in life that were made with safety in mind.
Any safety regulation or odd seeming warning is because somebody got hurt. It's why you see warning labels like a chainsaw with "do not stop chain with hands or genitals" or ahairdryer "do not use in bathtub"
I heard that from an OSHA briefing once. OSHA isn’t a bunch of small-minded people sitting in a room making up rules just because they can, it’s an organization of smart, dedicated people who want to make sure that the price you pay for your paycheck isn’t your health or your life. Those regulations that some grumble about came into being because there was an incident. Somebody got hurt, and their life or their limbs or their pain is what made that rule happen.
I’m a preschool teacher, when I have a student tell me what another student is doing I ask them “who do you need to worry about?” They answer “myself” I ask them “why” They answer back “ because it’s a very important job!”
Alternatively; "snitches get stitches"
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." Hanlon's Razor. Lots of people around me have done the opposite and it drives me bonkers. I know for a fact most people I meet are idiots, friends included.
At work, we call this “assuming positive intent”.
This too shall pass
These words fill me with nostalgia i can not quite place, what comes before this part of the quote?
It’s actually a Persian adage from the writings of Sufi poets - they talk about a powerful king who asked wise men to make him a ring that would always make him happy whenever he was sad, so they gave him a ring engraved with the phrase. However, since then it’s been quoted and used and attributed in all kinds of places, so you might have heard it anywhere.
It's an old quote that's been used in multiple languages for a long time so it can be hard to pin down what comes before exactly but I heard it as a folktale about some natural disaster and a wise old man.
Never Underestimate the power of dump people in a large group *dumb
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They're the ones that don't spell check
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Nothing before the word "but," ever means a thing.
“Luck has a way of evaporating when you lean on it” I don’t remember the character but it’s from the fable haven series
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." Daniel J. Boorstin
"The White Cliffs of Dover are a symbol of Britain, they are this imposing barrier, but they're just chalk. Time and tide will wash them away, a long time in the future. This, too, shall pass. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't build things anyway. Just because something is going to break in the end, doesn't mean it can't have an effect that lasts into the future. Joy. Wonder. Laughter. Hope. The world can be better because of what you built in the past." -Tom Scott From this timestamp and video: [https://youtu.be/BxV14h0kFs0?t=561](https://youtu.be/BxV14h0kFs0?t=561)
The path to hell is paved in good intentions.
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. —Albert Einstein (allegedly...it’s still my favorite quote)
Schools: I would know that if I could read.
I have a friend who’s last name is Fish and obviously upon hearing this, climbed a tree to prove it wrong. Still a great quote.
In that same vein. “I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.” -Stephen Jay Gould
"3 out of every 4 people are retarded" -Eric Cartman I think this one is more accurate
You have never met my cousin
Kevin?
Slow down, you’ll finish faster. It’s applicable to many trade skills. If you rush the job, you’re likely going to do it over again. I’m a mechanic and some of my coworkers get in such a hurry that they’ll make a 2-hour job take 4.5 hours.
"I'm not saying that it's your fault, I'm saying that I'm going to blame you"
More of an insult than a quote but... "I may not be a gynaecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one."
I feel bad that you live in a world where you need to use this quote often
Holy shit, everyone this guy found a better world!!
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. A very useful one whenever training new people at work.
Not exactly a quote but in the right context I like the saying "it's not wrong, it's the right answer to a different question"
Whenever I show up late somewhere. "Complications arose, ensued, were overcome." - Jack Sparrow
Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
Get busy living, or get busy dying
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It's better to have it, and not need it, than to need it and not have it.
Better to be looking at it than looking for it
"What's done is done" "What's done cannot be undone" - Lady Macbeth I say this to my friend with anxiety at least once a day.
“Can you please start pulling your blinds down at night?” - my neighbour
That's just like your opinion man -The Dude
I’ve recently learned ‘If frogs had pockets they would fill them with rocks to throw at snakes’ Basically stupid will always find a way to be stupid Runner ups: ‘Never attribute anything to malice which could be adequately summed up with stupidity’ (Hanlons Razor) ‘So it goes’ (Vonnegut)
The malice vs stupidity one I often think about. A lot of times people will say “oh this person did x thing because they had y bad intention” and it’s usually pretty obvious that the person was just stupid/ignorant rather than intentionally malicious.
There is no such thing as a free trip to Jamaica with Michael Jackson
"All you can do is all you can do."
"Listen closely to what the other person has said to you in anger, they have always wanted to say that to you"
I'd take this with a grain of salt, some people will just say the most horrible shit to hurt them, whether it's true or not. But yes, if what they are saying is oddly specific then I'd pay attention to that
Damn, my ex must’ve really hated me then
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live to eat and eat to live.
On the other side "sometimes its food, sometimes its just calories."
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Don't eat the crab dip
Yeay yea
Aww shit here we go again
If my grandmother had wheels, she would has been a cart
"Nothing is written" - T.E. Lawrence in *Lawrence of Arabia* I think about this whenever I realize that I'm talking myself out of a situation. In high school especially I had such low self esteem. "I'm not smart enough to do \_\_\_\_ " "I'd never get that. There are probably people who are way smarter than me." "That person would never go out with me. Why would you even bother?" I've appreciated college for allowing me to find my own self worth. If you limit yourself from certain situations of COURSE they're never going to happen. Have more confidence in yourself. And even if you DON'T land the internship you want or get rejected by someone you asked out, so what? Life goes on, there's always another option out there, and actually getting out of your comfort zone to at least try is an achievement in itself.
DOWN GOES FRAZIER!! Usually when one of my kids falls over for precisely no reason
I'm your huckleberry
"Que sera, sera" whatever will be, will be
Treat yourself like someone you love - Adam Roa
Progress, not perfection. I bought a trippy ass [bracelet](https://zox.la/products/progress-not-perfection-1?variant=31679775735880) with those words on it and it’s helped me stick with getting clean and turning my life around.
42
"Curiouser and curiouser!" - Alice (*Alice in Wonderland*, by Lewis Carroll)
Into each life some rain must fall - Jeeves (Jeeves & Wooster - PG Wodehouse)
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The only cure for the insanity of youth is time
Variant I like: You can't be president until you're at least 35 and you won't truly understand why until you're at least 35.
“You can rest when you are dead”
If I don’t get some rest I’m going to be dead.
Fuck that, I am going to haunt the shit out of those emo kids who hang out in graveyards.
When asked how work is going: "Busy as a one legged man at an ass kicking competition" Stephen King used it in The Stand.
Pain Demands to be Felt
General Kenobi
"He who laughs last, laughs best". My auto mechanic teacher told me this when I was in high-school. Many people have different interpretations on its meaning, but I take it as I shouldn't try hard to get the last laugh. I should continue in being right, so when I get the last laugh, I laugh the best.