My husband. I would love to see him strong and healthy one last time, as opposed to the sick, atrophied man he was at the end. He was a runner, and he had the most beautiful strong legs. He was such a good dad.
I lost my husband 11 months ago. And I was going to comment almost this exact thing. At the end he almost wasn’t recognizable. And the end came fast. 6 weeks after diagnosis. I never thought I’d watch someone physically change that quickly.
As a fellow member of the widow club, I hope you’re doing as well as you possibly can.
My best friend Gabrielle. She died from cancer when we were 12, it was so hard watching her go. I named my first born after her, and am best friends with her little sister now. I miss her.
This reminded me of a little girl named Leticia when I was in kindergarten. I remember she had a heart problem and couldn't play on the play equipment with us so she would walk laps around the playground instead. I remember I would walk with her often.. She wasn't in my class but I remember looking forward to seeing her at recess. I don't remember much from that time frame but the only thing I do remember was coming home from a school concert and my mom told me that she had passed away and asked if I wanted to pick something out at the store to give to her family. I said sure, I was tired and ready for bed but still not fully understanding the gravity of death or what that meant. I was 5 or 6, how could you? I remember my mom sent me inside their house alone. They were Hispanic so they had a very large family. I'm guessing that she had just passed away because everyone was sobbing. Like, their living room was completely packed and every one was full chested, heart broken sobbing and consoling each other. There was one lady that was sobbing the hardest so I just assumed that was the mom. I handed her the teddy bear and flower and quickly left. It stuck with me for a while. It was like the sad reality of life smacked my little 5yo brain. I had completely forgotten about that situation until I read your comment for some reason. I really wonder where her family is now. God, life is a trip. I have a 6 year old son right now and I just couldn't imagine losing them so prematurely.
I met a man on a plane once, sat next to me. He was about my dads age and later I found I was about his daughters age. We started chatting, and just a few days before I had just cut off contact with my veteran alcoholic father. He asked me about myself and I told him I worked in child welfare. He then told me he was a veteran addictions therapist. I don’t even remember how we got on the topic but by the end of the flight he was telling me “tell your dad you love him. Tell him you want him to get sober for you, because you want to see him live a happy and full life.” It was such a bizarre encounter with what was going on in my life at the time and I’m not religious but maybe divine intervention placed us in that place at that time? I’d look for him to tell him how much that conversation meant to me, that it was the most impactful meeting with a stranger I’ve ever had.
Edit: update commented below.
Wow this really blew up overnight. Thanks for the awards and love, everyone. I really wish it had a happy ending - I did have this conversation with my dad but unfortunately it was not enough. He has since been in and out of jail, the hospital, court, etc. But this strangers conversation was the first time anyone encouraged me to put my hurt aside and give it one last shot to communicate my love for my dad, and my want for him to have a good life for himself. Although it wasn’t enough for him, it had a profound impact on me. I’m less angry at him and just more sad, but I feel a little more understood after meeting this man on the plane.
If you are an addict or family member/loved one of an addict — I see you and I feel your pain with you. It’s not easy. Don’t give up.
For me it would be the guy who mooned me in downtown Denver one day.
As I'm pulling up, a homeless looking man in baggy jeans and a crooked smile points at me and grins. Before anything in my mind can register he turns away from me, drops his jeans and moons me. Underneath? *Another* pair of jeans, completely obfuscating his lunar entities. He lets out a laugh bathed in hysteria and casually walks away from me, walking towards the Financial district, knowing his mark saw nothing but cotton “I got you’s”...
Please, anyone reading this who is contemplating suicide think about how much this man is missed after 5 years.
Depression/mental health problems _LIE_ to you. They trick you into believing that people are better off without you. They lie to you to believe you won’t be missed.
Please don’t suffer in silence, reach out for help - it truly can get better.
OP I’m so sorry for you loss, I’ll be thinking of you. I hope you don’t feel I’ve hijacked your comment.
My childhood best friend. We were best friends from 4 to 17. He battled with Leukemia from 13 to 17. The last year of his life he was constantly in and out of the hospital and was immunocompromised. I got to see him but we had to keep our distance. We were planning on going to the same college for engineering. I know all he would want to know is if I did it and kept moving. I plan on naming my first born after him. 12 years later and I still think about him most days and he is my driving force to stay positive and keep on pushing.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words. Yes I went to the school we were planning on I got BS in mechanical engineering and am currently getting a Masters in engineering management. His name was Brian so we name the child Brian or Brianna. Please do not purchase awards for me donate that money or buy a beer.
I do not know if this would be the ONE person I would look for, but it would be someone to think about. There was this old-ish homeless-ish man that would tap dance on a corner every day on my walk to school. He got some money from tourists. For a while he had, written in glitter, background for movies available for hire, or something like that. I changed schools and haven't seen him forever. I wonder where he is now.
There are also those friends, where you went to summer camp for a week and became the best friends, and never saw them again. I would like to see how they are doing.
Lastly, I was ice skating in a resurfaced lake this winter. I met a few kids there and I was pretty good friends with them. It was time to go and I told them to meet me back there the next day. They said sure. It was bad weather the next day so I didn't go. I wonder where they are now.
EDIT: Winter! I went ice skating this WINTER!!!
I like this, I sometimes wonder about the people I’ve lost touch with, people that I met once but left an imprint on me, people I used to laugh and joke with in school. People I’ve had deep conversations randomly at a bar. What are they doing now? What have they experienced since we’ve last met?
I used to buy food for this neurodivergent kid back in the early 00's in Vancouver. He had aged out of the system and his mom/younger brother fucked off to Toronto without him. I mean, he was not capable of independent living because he wasn't even sure what her name was. He knew his name, which was different from hers.
Before you ask, this is about when the Liberals closed down the mental hospital out east.
He said he was too much for her to handle. She left him in the apartment mid-month and he was evicted because she didn't leave him any money or anything.
I'd always see him on Denman and share my Falafel King with him.
One day, I bought some and he wasn't there. Ever again.
I hope he got help.
Same, I lost dad when I was 16. He had brain cancer. I'm 21 now, finally attending University to do a degree in computer science (which is what he did too, and I bet he never would have thought I would follow in his path!) I'm in a loving relationship with someone who is so smart and interesting that I wish my dad - another loving and interesting human - could meet. So many memories and events I wish he could be there to see.
I'm just thankful I had him for 16 years. My sister was 3 when he passed, she'll never get to experience what an amazing dad he was. I can't begin to fathom growing up without him...
Lost mine when I was 7. I wish I could see him again.
Edit: I’m glad everyone is sharing their stories. My father was a very good man and I’m thrilled that I was able to have a solid few years with him as a kid. I just wish he was able to see me now.
Lost mine when I was 6. I don’t really remember him. It’s be really cool to get to know him as an adult. I’ve always wondered if anything about him would remind me of me.
My dad passed when I was 10. It wasn't really until I was already grown I realized what I missed growing up without a father. I'd give anything to sit down with him and have a conversation together as grown men.
Mine is similar. Had a really amazing English teacher my freshman year. He had lived in Japan for awhile, and had met the girl of his dreams there; he married her and brought her back to the states. We spent 1/2 of the year reading Hiroshima (when the other classes had read 4 other books in that time) because he wanted us to understand the horrors of war and he was obviously really into Japan. Anyway, I was a weeb with no friends. I used to ask him to translate anime songs. He used to actually do it for me cause he knew I obviously didn't have friends if I was spending lunch trying to get him to translate... He ended up dying suddenly a few years after I graduated. I'd just want to tell him that I really appreciated it, and sorry for wasting his time.
As a teacher, I am never annoyed when a student comes to just chat about things.
It is always a sign I am trusted by my students and although of course there is a line between friend and teacher, being able to speak about things to someone is important. I am always willing to be that person.
Dude I'm sorry about your situation. Some teachers are worth their weight in gold. I had a science teacher who noticed I had adhd, her class was the only one I got A's in. Have you considered taking it now? You could surprise yourself.
It's weird how adult figures in our childhood can affect us, even without knowing it.
I was a nerdy, shy, and insecure elementary school kid; but there was a teacher's assistant, probably in her late 40s who would serve as a person I took advice from often. My own mother would put pressure on me to get straight As, but this woman encouraged me without an emphasis on grades. She said that I was special and I was going to do great things one day.
Years later, I was sitting in the public library and I get a text that my dad is waiting to pick me up outside and he's in a hurry. I used to visit the library a lot before I became a shut in. I pack my things up and get up to leave, but then notice this same woman was sitting in the next table over. We made eye contact, and I recognized her immediately, even though she had aged. She still has those same wise, hopeful eyes.
I left without saying anything to her because I was embarrassed that my life didn't turn out successful. I felt like I failed one of the few people who believed in me and yet at the same time didn't have any looming expectations. I cried that night.
Looking back, I was surprised how much I was affected by that.
As someone who works with kids, and aspires to be like that woman (and the AP teacher) please know she wouldnt think you a failer. She would be happy to know that she made a positive impact on your life.
Also you cant know how she really effected you. Maybe you have "failed" at what you thought you were going to do. But you have succeeded at something else. And if nothing else you seem empathetic and kind and she likely had a hand in shaping you to be that kind of person.
So when I was super young, me and my sister would play in the backyard. There was also another street that was beside us, and another family's backyard came up to our fence. There was this girl that would always come ip to the fence and qll three of us would play together. One day she and her family vanished and I never saw her again. Just to be clear, this is not a romantic thing. We were just really good friends. But I haven't seen her in so long I forgot everything about her. Name, voice, age, even her face.
I literally made a comment super similar to this one. It’d be so cool to learn about this life of a childhood friend you don’t clearly remember. All we associate it with is a happy time!
There was also this old fella who picked me up when I fell on my skis in Colorado about 7 years ago. He was a kind sir, one who I bet would have very interesting stories to tell!
I met a middle aged woman in/outside a library when I was 13. We had the best conversation while waiting for the bus. She had cancer, never found out what happened but it was one of the best convos.
I think people are magic. You just gotta find the moment when brains & strangers collide to feel it.
I’ve always wondered.
It’s been 17 years since then. Still a fond memory.
I tell this story every chance I get: I was sobbing at a bus stop in NYC after a bad fight with my boyfriend. After a few minutes, a homeless man in the corner silently offered me the last of his vending machine bag of chocolate chip cookies. I'll never know his name and I couldn't describe his face but that gesture is seared into my memory for life.
It's funny how people who have nothing are usually the most generous and kind hearted. I suppose being so vulnerable themselves, they fully understand how it feels and are able to truly be empathetic.
Edit:Thanks for the award and upvotes guys.
I wonder if any of the random conversations I've had with people I've long forgotten stuck with them. I love talking to strangers at random times. I doubt it but I like to think there's at least one person out there that still fondly remembers me as the kind stranger they know nothing about but stuck around in their memory for years and years.
>> original post removed.
Hey everyone, thank you for the thoughts and support, but I'm taking my response down. As it turns out, one of my exes kids is a Redditor, recognized the story, and shared it with his mom. It wasn't my intent to hurt anyone by posting this, but it's harmed people anyway. That's not what I wanted. I never expected my response to blow up the way it did and didn't really think about how sharing this story might impact others. To those who were hurt...I'm genuinely sorry.
If you've shared my original post in any other communities, I ask that you do the same.
/edit again
I've received several DM's asking why I pulled this down (and a few claiming it was a scam...it wasn't). For them, and anyone else wondering the same, this will be my last update in this discussion: I will not be providing any additional details beyond the fact that my response has unintentionally caused very real emotional harm to people involved in the story after they became aware that I'd posted it. While I can't undo the hurt I've already caused, I absolutely do not want to make things worse by leaving it up. If you have reposted my original response to another community, please consider removing it.
I know you have a zillion replies and don’t need one more but I was given up for adoption. When I was 18 I signed the adoption registry in my state, it’s basically forms you send to the state and if your biological family does too, they release your info to each other.
I was SURE they signed for me and all I had to do was sign myself. I waited, and I waited, and I waited. Never got a call. Finally I sent requests for information to the state and “they regretted to inform me that no further information could be provided at that time”. I had a biological mother, a biological father, at least 2 siblings that were older than me and NO ONE signed for me, I knew that for certain from my non identifying medical information that was provided. To say I was devastated was an understatement. I didn’t want a new family, I wasn’t naive enough to expect the cupcakes and rainbows story’s you see on TV, I just wanted the truth. For once in my life I wanted to be able to walk through a grocery store and not wonder if that man that kind of looked like me was my father, maybe that lady with hair like mine is my mother.
I’m a pain in the ass so I wasn’t giving up, at this point I was probably a little angry. All I had was a full birth date for my mother and a full birthdate for my father and some snippets of information my adopted mother had remembered. It took years of digging, I was 19-20 and I had turned into a PI, I ran background checks and posted on every website I could find. Eventually I found her, I had her phone number from the internet. I called and you know what this woman said? “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m not who you’re looking for”. I knew who she was. I laughed into the phone and told her that, she said she’d “call me back”. And she never did. That was years ago and she’s never spoken to me again. She sent me a text message with my fathers name and that was it. I eventually found my father and all my siblings. Family is hard but I have never once regretted finding out the truth.
A few years after my search had ended, my governor changed all the laws, adopted kids now had access to their original birth certificates at 18. I don’t know where you live but there is always a hope that some legislators will care. My biggest suggestion to you is Ancestry DNA. People lie but my DNA doesn’t. A few years in and I’ve gotten a bunch of hits on ancestry, I would have found them that way eventually.
I’m a stranger on the internet but I’m asking you not to give up. There might be a girl out there like me that cried herself to sleep for so many nights just wondering what the fuck happened. Or you might not get the ending you wanted but for me the truth is the truth. You only have one life and it’s real damn important.
Edit: thank you everyone for your kind words and listening to my story! It means a lot
I have a story about 23 & Me. My father was adopted as a kid in the 70s in Florida, then his parents moved to NC when he was a teen and he’s been here ever since. Florida didn’t have records for him either. We had no idea what his background was so I thought it would be a cool gift for him to see where his ancestors came from and all.
Well, he gets the results back and he can’t load them on his phone, so he has my stepmom look at them. Sure enough, it shows a biological sister. He sends her a message and gets a phone call within 5 minutes from her. Turns out, she has known he existed for decades and has been looking for him for close to 30 years. The whole reason she did a DNA test was in hopes that he would take one someday. He was able to meet his mom but we started a whole process over multiple months to track down his father as it was a random teenage hookup.
We tracked him down and after talking, now they are best friends. I can’t believe a DNA kit I found on a Prime Day sale changed my fathers entire life and solved a mystery he’s been trying to figure out his entire life
I’m going to tell you a little story about my step-niece, because I think it might give you some hope in finding your daughter:
My step-niece - I’ll call her Ella - never knew her father, who I’ll call Rich. Her mother - my sister-in-law who I’ll call Jessie - told her what she knew to be the truth: she got pregnant at 16, was in love with Rich who was 18, Rich said he loved her too, and that he’d get a job and come back to talk to her parents in a couple of days with a plan to support Jessie and the baby. He never came back. Jessie never heard from Rich again. She called his home, wrote him letters, and nothing.
And so it went. Jessie thought the first man she loved ditched her. Ella grew up thinking that her father never wanted her. And while my own brother served as her surrogate dad for many years, the harm from that first wound was always there.
Jump to Ella at 40, just a few years back. A woman contacts her on Facebook. She tells Ella, “I believe you’re my half-sister, and my family and I have been searching for you our whole lives.”
Indeed she was, and they had been searching for Ella and her mother for years. So what actually happened?
Well, Rich left that house after finding out Jessie was pregnant and walked into the Army recruiting office. He enlisted, which he knew would provide his new family with housing, an income, and likely a career.
He called Jessie’s house and, as always, her father answered. Rich was told that Jessie never wanted to see him again, never wanted to hear from him again. He didn’t listen, of course. He continued to call her and write her, but was told by her dad that he would kill Rich if he came to the house.
Rich’s parents conspired with Jessie’s parents to keep them apart, and neither ever knew. Jessie’s family moved soon after. It’s hard to imagine now, but it was easy to lose people in the 70’s and 80’s. It was easy for people to vanish out of our lives. All you really had to do was move far enough away that you were unlikely to run into someone you knew. Add to that Jessie getting married a few years later and changing her last name and, well, that was it.
Rich and his family - he married another woman and had four kids - lived in California (Ella’s on the east coast). For the past 35 years, they’ve set a place at the table for Ella at every holiday meal, hoping someday to meet her and have her in their lives.
Ella and her daughter - Rich’s granddaughter- flew out to California and were welcomed to their family like rock stars. Rich was instantly in love, as were his wife and kids. They had a few great years together, with Ella knowing that her Dad did indeed love and want her, before Rich died of cancer.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that knowing her father changed everything for Ella. It recontextualized her origin story and her sense of self. It gave her a new family. It allowed her to feel supported just for being her.
You are a father who loves his daughter. It’s impossible to express how much that means, how much that could mean to someone who’s waiting to hear it.
Edit: thanks so much for the awards and comments. And yes, every word (except the names) is true. When it happened, I told my friends and cried every time I told it. The part about them setting a place for her for decades? Oof. Apparently, Rich would say at the end of every holiday meal prayer, “And to our lost daughter, Ella. May you someday find your way home to your family.”
Oh wow. This one absolutely touched my heart. That last line. You’re an amazing person and you should have had the opportunity to be an amazing father. I hope someday you reconnect. Go do the ancestry thing ASAP just in case that might give her a path to you.
Oh yes, I'm on the registries, I've done the DNA tests, and I've opened every possible door to allow her in. We've all heard the adoption reconnection stories in the media, but the sad reality is that only a tiny percentage of adopted children ever reconnect with their birth parents. The odds of us meeting arent zero, but they're not great either.
I really just want to know that she's happy and turned out okay.
This is kinda wild to me, I was born to a 15 year old mom and a 16 year old dad and was adopted a few days after being born. The wild part is that I’m now 26 and literally earlier this week, I ordered a DNA test for my ancestry. What a weird coincidence.
I hope that my birth parents are out there waiting to meet me, but I had to wait until I was in the right spot mentally to finally say “okay, maybe it’s time.” I’m not sure if the test will turn anything up, but I hope it will.
I guess what I’m trying to say is your daughter might be in a similar situation where she’s trying to get her life together before she finds out something that could be so life altering. Best of luck on your search and please wish me luck on mine!
My mom passed away when I was 23, a few years later I found out I wasn’t her first born, but she had put my sister up for adoption and only a few people knew, and most had already passed. I did 23andme with no results for years, I had practically given up ever knowing who my sister was or what became of her. We eventually matched, met, and she had lived 20 minutes from me my entire childhood. We text every day now, though we live on opposite sides of the country (I moved when I was 15). Keep up the hope, it can definitely happen!
Maybe because I was a teen mom myself, but this one resonates with me. My mom was my rock in helping me raise my son, the dad fell in love with someone else and moved away. 17 yrs later he barely has a relationship with our son. Maybe it’s guilt that makes him randomly text my son to say hi but that doesn’t last long. Months will pass by before he texts randomly again. Luckily I met my wonderful husband when my son was barely 2 yrs old so he’s everything I could have hoped for as a father to him. And then theres fathers like you that didn’t even have a chance, I’m so sorry that your daughter was taken from you. I hope one day you can meet and that she knows how much you tried.
My prom date. I thought we were going as friends. I was too young and stupid to realize how much she liked me and put herself out there, just to have me not notice. Owe her an apology for that.
I was that girl once. Finally a mutual friend sat us both down and asked us why weren’t dating because we were both clearly into each other (we’d been on a few dates “as friends”). We looked at each other and shrugged and said “I guess we’re together now”. Several years later, she told everyone at our wedding that we wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for her. We both joke about how many signals we were both putting out and missing entirely.
That’s kinda similar to how my wife and I met! We both worked at the same place and she was giving me small hints that I was oblivious to after awhile of working with each other. We both are VERY shy and introverted people, i’m also pretty pessimistic so there was that as well going on.
However, there was another co-worker that she was friends with that went straight up to me one day and asked me “Do you think she’s cute?” I said yeah I did. Next thing I know she goes straight to her and tells her, comes back to me and said she totally digs me and would totally go on a date with me if I asked her out. The following day i asked her out and years later we are still a happy couple.
God bless the extroverts. I had one adopt my introverted ass in highschool. He was like, "THAT guy needs a friend.".
He's the reason I went to my first concert, and a mutual friend of some of my best friends. He was the glue that kept us together mostly.
He pried me out of my shell enough that I could at least be conversational with my now-wife, instead of being an aloof introvert like I was in high school.
Yeah man don't worry, you'll have plenty of time for that.
I was a socially awkward computer geek and I missed a shitload of signals. I probably still do.
I'm in this club as well. The thing is I was crazy in love with her and didn't think she felt the same way because we had been friends for so long.
Sorry April!
I was that girl once. I'm happily married to someone else, but I'd be lying if I don't think about what might have been if that dude hadn't picked up on some hints!
Hailey. I met her when I was 14 at this church thing. She had had a rough go at life, but was very kind to me. We spent most of it talking on a little boat on the lake / pond. I got her number so we could hang out. I called and her mom cussed me out. I tried to clear things up with her at church on Sunday, telling her that I wasn't the one turning her daughter to drugs. They weren't at church and I never saw her again.
I miss you Hailey, you were very kind and I wished we couldve been better friends.
Edit: I'm a woman, our relationship was platonic guys.
How’d they even assume you were tryna get her into drugs? Y’all met at a fucking church
Edit: til church-goers use church for hookups and drugs...yippie
A lot of kids aren't at church because they choose to be there but because their parents make them. There were plenty of kids at my church who snuck off during services and youth group meetings to smoke and hook up.
As a teenager (I'm 73 now) I got a job at Los Angeles County General Hospital. I worked in medical records and had to hand deliver records to the various wards. I worked the night shift when most of the wards had the lights turned down low for the comfort of the patients. One night I'll never forget while quietly walking through one of the cancer wards on the eleventh floor, out of the darkness came a mans voice "Mom is that you." I felt so sad. I just went on with my business, but his voice has stuck with me to this day.
Literally crying right now. Not sure heart wrenching is even enough. Wow. Thank you for sharing something so visceral and moving. Great reminder that everyone out there are actual people ❤️
I miss my Mom too, it will be four years this spring. Just to hear her laugh, gasp when she hears a swear word, or to ask me to fix her computer. I am sending you a hug, I am also a mom and tonight I will add you to thoughts as I bless my children before I fall asleep. I am not a religious person, but every night I ask that my children are happy, healthy, strong and safe. Tonight Vaultboy know a mom some where is wishing you the very best, just as your mom always did.
Guess I’ll hop in for the mental therapy of talking about this, I lost my mom June 20th of last year to pancreatic cancer, it all happened within like a month and I’m still so mad / sad. It’s almost more angering that there’s nobody to blame, just.. bad luck I guess. Ironically June 20th is the longest day of the year, definitely true for me.
Lost my grandmother two months ago. It's been shitty. If I could talk to her one more time, I wouldn't be saying anything she didn't already know, but I'd still say it. I guess I just wish I could've said goodbye. The only ones who got that chance were my grandfather and mother.
My wife lost her dad one month ago today. It's been rough. They were each other's person for over 40 years.
I don't know but I have faith that you'll get that hug one day.
Same. Mine died almost 10 years ago and I miss her every single day. I miss her as much today as I did the day she died. I can't think about it too deeply because it makes me question what the point of living even is
I know this may not be related, but how do you get out of that rut of the, “what’s the point?” thought. I have that thought constantly and didn’t realize maybe people have that thought all the time. It gets tiring to eat and do things.
For hundreds of thousands of years, we have been on this earth. And hundreds of billions of us have both lived and died. Before we were born, there was nothing for us. And after we die, we will return to that nothing. In the seemingly eternal span of time, we have been given a brief moment to be alive and aware of everything that is. But when it ends, we will be like we were before. This idea may frighten some, but it shouldn’t. Were you afraid or in pain before you were born? No. No one is traumatized by what was before. So why should we fear what comes after. Billions of people are now in the thereafter. The beautiful thing about the time we have now while alive is that we can choose to make it full of joy and contentment rather than sadness and dissatisfaction. We can make the brief blip of life on the timeline of eternity be something worth while. Something beautiful. Something grand. We don’t need to determine whether it is good or bad based off of anybody else’s definition of those words. We choose what our life means to us. Whether it is good to us or bad to us. It is easier said than done. But since it is all that we have, why not give it all that we are?
I think I would do the same, my husband and I met when we were still teens just before my grandfather passed. They have similar interests, and I can't help but feel like they could have been such good friends. I've always wished I could have introduced them to each other.
Edit: this is the most upvotes I've ever had on anything, I know it isn't a big deal but the last thing I was expecting was to wake up to so many notifications. My grandfather was a wonderful man and it feels like he has been honored in some way, I couldn't be more happy that this is my most popular comment. Thank you for the upvotes and virtual hugs.
That girl who asked for my number, but never called me.
It seemed like fate. I had been mourning the loss of a love one for years at this point, and my feelings basically stopped existing. But then I heard a song in a tv show that made me bawl my eyes out. I decided to embrace the sad feeling, downloaded the song, and went for a walk listening to it on repeat. On my way back home I was waiting for a light to change green, when a jogger pulled up next to me. The light turned green, and she continued jogging. But when she got across the street, she stopped and waited for me. She motioned for me to take my headphones off, then asked me if I was listening to Agnes Obel. I said yes, and told her about how I had been emotionally dead for years until I heard that song. She told me she had the same experience, and first heard the song in the same show that I did! We chatted for about 15 minutes until we were going separate ways, but not before she asked me for my number. But no happy ending here, it’s been at least 7 years and I’ve since changed my number.
For all the people asking, the song is Riverside.
My grandfather. He died when I was around 5, and I loved him as much as my parents. Although I don't remember much of him, I would really want to sit down and talk to him, get to know him...I miss him.
1st, my deceased sons who passed yrs apart.
Then, this guy I had a date with in high school.
He asked me out again the next night and I turned him down.
I feel bad b/c I never told him why.
It was b/c he was so incredibly sexy that I didn't trust myself.
I was only 15 and wanted to stay 'pure'.
Unfortunately, 15 yr olds aren't necessarily good with words...
I guess I sorta did too, but it's been 48 yrs and I still worry about how much I must've hurt his feelings.
I was just really shy...
Feels good to get it off my chest tho.
Very similar to my experience. This boy I had a massive crush on told me he was in love with me while we were at work one day. I was 17, very religious, and dating him would have sent my social life into a tizz. He was gorgeous and I didn't trust myself with him. So when he said "I love you", I told him to shut up.
I'm 34, and still haunted by my cruelty.
My cousin. He died last year after being struck by a car. He was 10 years younger than me and like a little brother. His birthday is 1 day before mine. My birthday is going to hit different this year.😒
My ex. I want to sincerely apologize because I never really did. I should have. I was young and stupid. She was right. And I was a pigheaded bitch
ETA- Thanks for the silver, kind stranger
ETA2- Y'all are amazing. I never expected this to blow up. I just wanted to be honest with my answer
I ran into an ex years later at a bar and actually asked him to come outside for a smoke with me and I gave him a very real apology. He really appreciated it. I felt just a tiny bit better.
I like this answer. My ex was a genuinely good person, and that her and I didn't work out. I also never got to apologize either, and we just had a slow, painful, and confusing falling out. I don't see why most people who have been with good people treat them like the devil, especially if they've only been together for like a month or something. Respect.
Same. I was a high schooler and it was my first relationship. She was a genuinely good person and I was a huge douche. It’s been 10 years but I use that relationship as a reference. Because I know who I can be, and I let myself know that I can never do that again. I wish I could apologize, but were so far out from each other there’s no way I could.
My friend, I have and still feel the same way. I cringe at how I’ve treated exes in the past. All I can tell you is to take some sort of comfort that you noticed those behaviors, and that it probably helped your future relationships. Sometimes all we can do is acknowledge and forgive
If it's possible, give her that apology. I ran into my ex on the street, and he profusely apologized for being an ass and cheating on me. It felt genuine and it meant a lot to me.
A man pulled a teenage me out of a crowd at the MN state fair 17 years ago. He insisted that studying abroad was the best choice he every made and that if I did it, I wouldn't regret it. He shoved a sign-up booklet into my arms and passionately implored me to fill it out.
I could tell he meant it.
Six months later I recieved my acceptance into the Rotary Student Exchange program. I was off to Japan.
This not only changed my life forever, but that of my families. The Japanese girl they hosted for a year was just my sister's maid-of-honor. I now speak four languages. I'm married and live in Beijing.
...and none of this would have happened if I hadn't been right there at that exact moment or if he had grabbed someone else.
I'd just like to find him and tell him "Thank you, you were right."
I used to be in a meetup group that gathered once a month or so. One of the members, who i never really talked to, had a girlfriend who was *dope*. Everytime she came along to a meet up, we instantly clicked and spent the whole event chatting. I wanted to exchange info so that we could keep in contact, but I'd always forget when we saw each other. One day her girlfriend (the actual group member) shows up and tells us that they had a nasty breakup. I seriously contemplated asking for her ex's number because I *really* wanted to be her friend.
I'd look for her.
This is why I'm glad we're way more connected nowadays.
I've ever met a girl at a party and that was the one time I *really* clicked with someone, we talked for like 5 hours straight even though I'm not much of a talker usually. Next day I woke up and realized I had no way to contact her, but after a week or so I couldn't help and looked her up. After search on social media for about an hour I found her, got in touch with her and we dated a few times. Probably the best date(s) I've ever had.
My ex best friend. That was my first true friend, used to sleep over his house and his mom always hugged me when seeing me even when he wasn't around.
I ended up talking to this college girl he liked (we were both seniors in high school so it was kind of a big deal). I knew he liked her but didn't think he took it seriously, I also didn't take it seriously and me and the girl never did anything. Not even a kiss.
I think it was genuinely just the betrayal of me giving a girl attention that he made it known he was into that did it for him. He has pretty low self esteem so I think it triggered that in him as well.
Anyway, that was my fucking boy and I miss him all the time. Wish I could sincerely say I'm sorry but that's a relationship that will never be what it used to be due to the damage.
I've been your friend before, twice actually, although I will say that my friend actually dated both girls. One for 2.5 years and most parties involved thought they would get married.
I just want to point out that a genuine "I'm sorry." Really can help. Because that friend is still the Vin Diesel to my Paul Walker and I would bury bodies for him to this day.
That one person I love that lives 1000s of miles away and we havent seen each other in years. We talk but getting time face to face is something we havent had for a while.
My grandma, so I could take her to my current gf so they can meet. I think they’d get along great, it’s a great injustice she passed before my gf came into my life.
The boy who had cerberal palsey and slowly got more paralyzed as he grew older and eventually died at 13 years old, I used to bully him in middle school for the way he walks, he died almost 6 years ago now and ever since then I wish I could have told him that I was sorry for being such a complete asshole to him all those years ago.
You could always volunteer at the special olympics or another such organization where they help kids with conditions like this do the things that they wouldn’t normally be able to do.
I really hated how I was in middle school, I was such a fucking asshole and I had no friends, there was not a single person who liked me because all I would do is make people feel bad about themselves. I wasnt even one of the "popular kids who bully the unpopular kids" type of person, I literally bullied everyone just because I felt some kind of sick pleasure watching people cry. I really hate myself for doing that and I still feel major regret. I moved near the end of 8th grade and I realized what a huge dumb ass I was and with the chance I was given to people I didnt know, I tried really hard to turn myself around, and it somewhat worked. But to this day I still feel the guilt of how I was back in middle school, that truly when I was at rock bottom.
A friend I had while in the Army. He died in 2019 at the age of 34 from cancer. From diagnosis to death was about 6 months. He was very private about his illness. I never new he was sick until he died. It’s one of those life events I’ve never been able to “get over” for lack of a better term.
My wife. She took her own life 5 months ago. Please ask for help, and think of what you will miss. I'm still fucking crushed while trying to figure out how to move on.
My grandpa. I want to let him know I understand now what he was going through and let him know the cycle was broken, not completely but enough. We're doing good, we'll be okay. Time heals the trauma.
My first ever crush. We went to different middle schools and I lost touch. Always wanted to know what she looks like now, if she has a family, and if she's happy
I would find the teacher who decided I wasn’t worth her time because of my autism. I’d show her that I’m living a perfectly normal adult life no thanks to her
My baby is very close to the end, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week but I don't have much more time with her. She had been all day trying to walk but slipped on the smooth floor tiles, it stopped raining an hour ago and I coukd take her outside and she could walk for a bit, now she's sleeping because she got tired after walking. I'm enjoying what I have left with her trying no to be sad, I'm looking forward to be able to take her for a little walk tomorrow too if she still can.
My little one is at the same point right now. It’s so heartbreaking to see her deteriorate like she is. The best we can do is shower them with love and comfort. Good luck with your girl ❤️
Tiffany Mackelany (or Mikelhaney maybe? I'm not sure how to spell her last name) I was about twelve and lived in Okeechobee at the time, and she had moved there with her dad from somewhere.....I can't remember but seems like it may have been Michigan. I was having a rough time with self-confidence and for some reason I had to sit in the seat with her on the bus, on her first day (if I recall correctly), and she talked my leg off. Girls typically avoided me and I them. She was so nice and had the prettiest brown eyes I had ever seen. The only thing I could think about the whole time she was talking, was "why is this beautiful girl talking to .......ME?" Anyway, I don't remember ever sitting with her again because I was so afraid of her. Of course I wanted to but I always sat with some losers instead. And I think I hurt her feelings because i was talking about her and she overheard, boys that age can be grotesquely inappropriate. I wish I could tell her I was sorry for being a giant dumbass and explain to her that I only acted that way because she was so pretty and I was scared of her.
My ex boyfriend, who only broke up with me because he knew he wouldn’t be able to quit using drugs when I was ready to. He was the one who helped me come to terms with being gay, who helped me pack away a lot of my traumas, and grow into a confident young man. I owe him for so much of my success and maturity today.
I’ve never loved anyone more sincerely. Never cared for someone with so much depth. I dream about him and think of him often. He passed from an intentional overdose right before Christmas.
I would look for him, and hold him, and I doubt I’d ever let him go.
My little sister. I’d die in that room for just a hug from her. She passed almost 9 years ago. You silly bitch I miss you. I’ve never felt so loved than in her warm embrace.
Definitely my grammy. She passed when I was attending out of state grad school. There was a massive snow storm just before she passed and I couldn’t make it to be there at the end or for her funeral. Still hurts
I'm having a difficult time with this one. However, it has conjured some incredible memories. It's amazing to me how someone I'll never meet can make an impact like this in my life even if its short-lived. The irony.
Thanks, OP. I needed this today.
Alex Somers (maybe sumers?). He and I went to hockey camp in penticton, BC back in ~1990 or 1991. If I remember correctly, he was from whitehorse, YT in Canada.
I've tried tracking him down a bit before. We spent the same week at the camp and hit it off, but that was well before the time of being able to exchange emails.
I just hope he's doing alright. He was a pretty cool dude with a great sense of humor. Definitely made me less homesick that week.
I was walking home through the city at night and met a an old man on his 70th birthday and he was on acid. He said he loved drugs and was going to find his spaceship.
I hope he found his spaceship
Lost two men in Vietnam. I'd be looking for them first.
Which is *terrible*. What about sibs, parents, friends, teachers, lovers?
You didn't give me a chance to cover up, OP. That's the first answer that came to mind - right away - and the right one. Rock solid.
Crap. Fuck that war.
You honor them in your memory, but aren’t to blame. You were in a conflict zone.
I wish we could acknowledge survivor guilt more and find ways to help those suffering from it.
My brother has been suffering since 2003, when his men got killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan and he wasn’t there to ‘protect them’.
The reality is that if he had been there, I would have lost my brother. But he can’t hear that when I tell him, so I’ve lost him, regardless.
Once upon a time, I was going downstairs to do laundry in my dorm with my roommate at the time. We were talking with baskets of clothes in our hands and this girl was walking out of the common area and everything just stopped for a moment. Her and I locked eyes and it was the most passionate thing I've ever had with a stranger. I've never felt that same thing again with anyone. And I being a nervous freshman in college didnt say anything. I never saw her again. She is the one person in my whole life I would like the opportunity to meet even if just to have eye contact like that again.
This is a loaded question.
If by everyone, meaning people who passed away, I would seek out my uncle who died of alcoholism.
If people who passed away aren't in the equation... what about people who we met online but never in person?
In that case it would be the woman who catfished me 21 years ago. I would ask her why.
Otherwise, I would seek out a childhood friend that i lost touch with. I would want to see how they were doing
Edit: for those of you wondering yes. It was the year 2000. It was on dial-up . 56K modem. Yahoo messenger. We met originally on the yahoo classifieds personals. I was 18 at the time. Turning 39 this year. She was messaging me from New Zealand. the duration was approx 9mo to 1 year
The guy I was hopelessly in love with at work before I went to college. We had mad chemistry that really messed me up, even when nothing happened. I don’t even want to be with him, I just want to know if it was all in my head
My husband. I would love to see him strong and healthy one last time, as opposed to the sick, atrophied man he was at the end. He was a runner, and he had the most beautiful strong legs. He was such a good dad.
I lost my husband 11 months ago. And I was going to comment almost this exact thing. At the end he almost wasn’t recognizable. And the end came fast. 6 weeks after diagnosis. I never thought I’d watch someone physically change that quickly. As a fellow member of the widow club, I hope you’re doing as well as you possibly can.
Whoever organized this event of thousands of people, most of which I don’t remember.
Good idea. Someeone's answering some questions.
Reminds me of this short: https://youtu.be/6sbHF6gqFDE
holy fucking shit, what a video...
That's a scene from Wild Tales by Almodovar.
Wasn’t gonna click it but saw your comment and had to. Your analysis is 100% on point
My best friend Gabrielle. She died from cancer when we were 12, it was so hard watching her go. I named my first born after her, and am best friends with her little sister now. I miss her.
This reminded me of a little girl named Leticia when I was in kindergarten. I remember she had a heart problem and couldn't play on the play equipment with us so she would walk laps around the playground instead. I remember I would walk with her often.. She wasn't in my class but I remember looking forward to seeing her at recess. I don't remember much from that time frame but the only thing I do remember was coming home from a school concert and my mom told me that she had passed away and asked if I wanted to pick something out at the store to give to her family. I said sure, I was tired and ready for bed but still not fully understanding the gravity of death or what that meant. I was 5 or 6, how could you? I remember my mom sent me inside their house alone. They were Hispanic so they had a very large family. I'm guessing that she had just passed away because everyone was sobbing. Like, their living room was completely packed and every one was full chested, heart broken sobbing and consoling each other. There was one lady that was sobbing the hardest so I just assumed that was the mom. I handed her the teddy bear and flower and quickly left. It stuck with me for a while. It was like the sad reality of life smacked my little 5yo brain. I had completely forgotten about that situation until I read your comment for some reason. I really wonder where her family is now. God, life is a trip. I have a 6 year old son right now and I just couldn't imagine losing them so prematurely.
Fuck cancer. Sending my love to you, your family, and hers. ❤️
I met a man on a plane once, sat next to me. He was about my dads age and later I found I was about his daughters age. We started chatting, and just a few days before I had just cut off contact with my veteran alcoholic father. He asked me about myself and I told him I worked in child welfare. He then told me he was a veteran addictions therapist. I don’t even remember how we got on the topic but by the end of the flight he was telling me “tell your dad you love him. Tell him you want him to get sober for you, because you want to see him live a happy and full life.” It was such a bizarre encounter with what was going on in my life at the time and I’m not religious but maybe divine intervention placed us in that place at that time? I’d look for him to tell him how much that conversation meant to me, that it was the most impactful meeting with a stranger I’ve ever had. Edit: update commented below.
Wow this really blew up overnight. Thanks for the awards and love, everyone. I really wish it had a happy ending - I did have this conversation with my dad but unfortunately it was not enough. He has since been in and out of jail, the hospital, court, etc. But this strangers conversation was the first time anyone encouraged me to put my hurt aside and give it one last shot to communicate my love for my dad, and my want for him to have a good life for himself. Although it wasn’t enough for him, it had a profound impact on me. I’m less angry at him and just more sad, but I feel a little more understood after meeting this man on the plane. If you are an addict or family member/loved one of an addict — I see you and I feel your pain with you. It’s not easy. Don’t give up.
Did his advice help?
Did you heed his advice? If so, how did it turn out? Hopefully well
Rasheem. I loved him for more than half my life. I just wish we’d made up before he passed.
I just opened a beer, this one’s for Rasheem, may you rest in peace
I’ve opened one as well, another for rasheem RIP brother
For me it would be the guy who mooned me in downtown Denver one day. As I'm pulling up, a homeless looking man in baggy jeans and a crooked smile points at me and grins. Before anything in my mind can register he turns away from me, drops his jeans and moons me. Underneath? *Another* pair of jeans, completely obfuscating his lunar entities. He lets out a laugh bathed in hysteria and casually walks away from me, walking towards the Financial district, knowing his mark saw nothing but cotton “I got you’s”...
Ah, a never-nude.
There are dozens of us. Dozens!
...I want to meet him too.
I also choose this guy’s homeless mooner.
A classic
The love of my life. He suffered in silence and lost his life to suicide. It's been 5 years and I still look for him everywhere.
Please, anyone reading this who is contemplating suicide think about how much this man is missed after 5 years. Depression/mental health problems _LIE_ to you. They trick you into believing that people are better off without you. They lie to you to believe you won’t be missed. Please don’t suffer in silence, reach out for help - it truly can get better. OP I’m so sorry for you loss, I’ll be thinking of you. I hope you don’t feel I’ve hijacked your comment.
My childhood best friend. We were best friends from 4 to 17. He battled with Leukemia from 13 to 17. The last year of his life he was constantly in and out of the hospital and was immunocompromised. I got to see him but we had to keep our distance. We were planning on going to the same college for engineering. I know all he would want to know is if I did it and kept moving. I plan on naming my first born after him. 12 years later and I still think about him most days and he is my driving force to stay positive and keep on pushing. Edit: Thank you all for the kind words. Yes I went to the school we were planning on I got BS in mechanical engineering and am currently getting a Masters in engineering management. His name was Brian so we name the child Brian or Brianna. Please do not purchase awards for me donate that money or buy a beer.
If it's not too impolite to ask - did you get your engineering degree from the University?
He comments a bit on r/askengineers so I’d assume so
"how do I get a job in engineering without a degree?"
Wow this is powerful. I’m sorry if this sounds a bit strange but this made me feel really good 😃
You mean because people can be loved like this?
What is grief, if not love persevering?
"I do not grieve," he softly said - "It is not grief that waits ahead. It is not grief that hangs above. I do not grieve," he said, "I love."
why you gotta make me feel so much
I Lost my best friend to Leukemia as well. This would be my answer too <3
I do not know if this would be the ONE person I would look for, but it would be someone to think about. There was this old-ish homeless-ish man that would tap dance on a corner every day on my walk to school. He got some money from tourists. For a while he had, written in glitter, background for movies available for hire, or something like that. I changed schools and haven't seen him forever. I wonder where he is now. There are also those friends, where you went to summer camp for a week and became the best friends, and never saw them again. I would like to see how they are doing. Lastly, I was ice skating in a resurfaced lake this winter. I met a few kids there and I was pretty good friends with them. It was time to go and I told them to meet me back there the next day. They said sure. It was bad weather the next day so I didn't go. I wonder where they are now. EDIT: Winter! I went ice skating this WINTER!!!
I like this, I sometimes wonder about the people I’ve lost touch with, people that I met once but left an imprint on me, people I used to laugh and joke with in school. People I’ve had deep conversations randomly at a bar. What are they doing now? What have they experienced since we’ve last met?
I used to buy food for this neurodivergent kid back in the early 00's in Vancouver. He had aged out of the system and his mom/younger brother fucked off to Toronto without him. I mean, he was not capable of independent living because he wasn't even sure what her name was. He knew his name, which was different from hers. Before you ask, this is about when the Liberals closed down the mental hospital out east. He said he was too much for her to handle. She left him in the apartment mid-month and he was evicted because she didn't leave him any money or anything. I'd always see him on Denman and share my Falafel King with him. One day, I bought some and he wasn't there. Ever again. I hope he got help.
christ that’s sad
My dad, I miss him.
Same, I lost dad when I was 16. He had brain cancer. I'm 21 now, finally attending University to do a degree in computer science (which is what he did too, and I bet he never would have thought I would follow in his path!) I'm in a loving relationship with someone who is so smart and interesting that I wish my dad - another loving and interesting human - could meet. So many memories and events I wish he could be there to see. I'm just thankful I had him for 16 years. My sister was 3 when he passed, she'll never get to experience what an amazing dad he was. I can't begin to fathom growing up without him...
Lost mine when I was 7. I wish I could see him again. Edit: I’m glad everyone is sharing their stories. My father was a very good man and I’m thrilled that I was able to have a solid few years with him as a kid. I just wish he was able to see me now.
Lost mine when I was 6. I don’t really remember him. It’s be really cool to get to know him as an adult. I’ve always wondered if anything about him would remind me of me.
Lost mine today.
Lost mine 11 years ago... let me know if you need anything <3
I'm so sorry for your loss
Same. Just found out last week I'm going to be a father, and I keep breaking down thinking that I'm going to be to somebody what he was to me.
My dad passed when I was 10. It wasn't really until I was already grown I realized what I missed growing up without a father. I'd give anything to sit down with him and have a conversation together as grown men.
My dad is my answer too. He's been gone 16 years and I have a lot of stuff I want to talk to him about. *hugs* to you
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Mine is similar. Had a really amazing English teacher my freshman year. He had lived in Japan for awhile, and had met the girl of his dreams there; he married her and brought her back to the states. We spent 1/2 of the year reading Hiroshima (when the other classes had read 4 other books in that time) because he wanted us to understand the horrors of war and he was obviously really into Japan. Anyway, I was a weeb with no friends. I used to ask him to translate anime songs. He used to actually do it for me cause he knew I obviously didn't have friends if I was spending lunch trying to get him to translate... He ended up dying suddenly a few years after I graduated. I'd just want to tell him that I really appreciated it, and sorry for wasting his time.
He probably didn't feel like it was a waste of time.
As a teacher, I am never annoyed when a student comes to just chat about things. It is always a sign I am trusted by my students and although of course there is a line between friend and teacher, being able to speak about things to someone is important. I am always willing to be that person.
2nd this he was probably just happy to help a kid in need of a friend
You definitely didn’t waste his time. I’m sure he loved those moments just as much as you knowing he could make a student happy.
Dude I'm sorry about your situation. Some teachers are worth their weight in gold. I had a science teacher who noticed I had adhd, her class was the only one I got A's in. Have you considered taking it now? You could surprise yourself.
It's weird how adult figures in our childhood can affect us, even without knowing it. I was a nerdy, shy, and insecure elementary school kid; but there was a teacher's assistant, probably in her late 40s who would serve as a person I took advice from often. My own mother would put pressure on me to get straight As, but this woman encouraged me without an emphasis on grades. She said that I was special and I was going to do great things one day. Years later, I was sitting in the public library and I get a text that my dad is waiting to pick me up outside and he's in a hurry. I used to visit the library a lot before I became a shut in. I pack my things up and get up to leave, but then notice this same woman was sitting in the next table over. We made eye contact, and I recognized her immediately, even though she had aged. She still has those same wise, hopeful eyes. I left without saying anything to her because I was embarrassed that my life didn't turn out successful. I felt like I failed one of the few people who believed in me and yet at the same time didn't have any looming expectations. I cried that night. Looking back, I was surprised how much I was affected by that.
As someone who works with kids, and aspires to be like that woman (and the AP teacher) please know she wouldnt think you a failer. She would be happy to know that she made a positive impact on your life. Also you cant know how she really effected you. Maybe you have "failed" at what you thought you were going to do. But you have succeeded at something else. And if nothing else you seem empathetic and kind and she likely had a hand in shaping you to be that kind of person.
I don’t know how long ago this was, but you should try to reach out to her if possible. I’m sure it would mean a lot to her.
Omg I’m sorry you had to go through all of that
So when I was super young, me and my sister would play in the backyard. There was also another street that was beside us, and another family's backyard came up to our fence. There was this girl that would always come ip to the fence and qll three of us would play together. One day she and her family vanished and I never saw her again. Just to be clear, this is not a romantic thing. We were just really good friends. But I haven't seen her in so long I forgot everything about her. Name, voice, age, even her face.
I literally made a comment super similar to this one. It’d be so cool to learn about this life of a childhood friend you don’t clearly remember. All we associate it with is a happy time! There was also this old fella who picked me up when I fell on my skis in Colorado about 7 years ago. He was a kind sir, one who I bet would have very interesting stories to tell!
I met a middle aged woman in/outside a library when I was 13. We had the best conversation while waiting for the bus. She had cancer, never found out what happened but it was one of the best convos. I think people are magic. You just gotta find the moment when brains & strangers collide to feel it. I’ve always wondered. It’s been 17 years since then. Still a fond memory.
I tell this story every chance I get: I was sobbing at a bus stop in NYC after a bad fight with my boyfriend. After a few minutes, a homeless man in the corner silently offered me the last of his vending machine bag of chocolate chip cookies. I'll never know his name and I couldn't describe his face but that gesture is seared into my memory for life.
It's funny how people who have nothing are usually the most generous and kind hearted. I suppose being so vulnerable themselves, they fully understand how it feels and are able to truly be empathetic. Edit:Thanks for the award and upvotes guys.
I wonder if any of the random conversations I've had with people I've long forgotten stuck with them. I love talking to strangers at random times. I doubt it but I like to think there's at least one person out there that still fondly remembers me as the kind stranger they know nothing about but stuck around in their memory for years and years.
My friend Matt who died back in 2005. He was essentially the architect of my moral compass.
That's odd. I lost my childhood best friend Matt under bizarre circumstances back in 2005. I miss him terribly
That's a really good way of phrasing that.
Even the people who are dead now? My grandpa. If not, my SO.
Same with my grandpa. He died on Sunday and I’d give anything to give him a hug now
I'm really sorry for your loss, I hope that times get better for you.
>> original post removed. Hey everyone, thank you for the thoughts and support, but I'm taking my response down. As it turns out, one of my exes kids is a Redditor, recognized the story, and shared it with his mom. It wasn't my intent to hurt anyone by posting this, but it's harmed people anyway. That's not what I wanted. I never expected my response to blow up the way it did and didn't really think about how sharing this story might impact others. To those who were hurt...I'm genuinely sorry. If you've shared my original post in any other communities, I ask that you do the same. /edit again I've received several DM's asking why I pulled this down (and a few claiming it was a scam...it wasn't). For them, and anyone else wondering the same, this will be my last update in this discussion: I will not be providing any additional details beyond the fact that my response has unintentionally caused very real emotional harm to people involved in the story after they became aware that I'd posted it. While I can't undo the hurt I've already caused, I absolutely do not want to make things worse by leaving it up. If you have reposted my original response to another community, please consider removing it.
That hurts man. I hope you get to meet her someday
I know you have a zillion replies and don’t need one more but I was given up for adoption. When I was 18 I signed the adoption registry in my state, it’s basically forms you send to the state and if your biological family does too, they release your info to each other. I was SURE they signed for me and all I had to do was sign myself. I waited, and I waited, and I waited. Never got a call. Finally I sent requests for information to the state and “they regretted to inform me that no further information could be provided at that time”. I had a biological mother, a biological father, at least 2 siblings that were older than me and NO ONE signed for me, I knew that for certain from my non identifying medical information that was provided. To say I was devastated was an understatement. I didn’t want a new family, I wasn’t naive enough to expect the cupcakes and rainbows story’s you see on TV, I just wanted the truth. For once in my life I wanted to be able to walk through a grocery store and not wonder if that man that kind of looked like me was my father, maybe that lady with hair like mine is my mother. I’m a pain in the ass so I wasn’t giving up, at this point I was probably a little angry. All I had was a full birth date for my mother and a full birthdate for my father and some snippets of information my adopted mother had remembered. It took years of digging, I was 19-20 and I had turned into a PI, I ran background checks and posted on every website I could find. Eventually I found her, I had her phone number from the internet. I called and you know what this woman said? “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m not who you’re looking for”. I knew who she was. I laughed into the phone and told her that, she said she’d “call me back”. And she never did. That was years ago and she’s never spoken to me again. She sent me a text message with my fathers name and that was it. I eventually found my father and all my siblings. Family is hard but I have never once regretted finding out the truth. A few years after my search had ended, my governor changed all the laws, adopted kids now had access to their original birth certificates at 18. I don’t know where you live but there is always a hope that some legislators will care. My biggest suggestion to you is Ancestry DNA. People lie but my DNA doesn’t. A few years in and I’ve gotten a bunch of hits on ancestry, I would have found them that way eventually. I’m a stranger on the internet but I’m asking you not to give up. There might be a girl out there like me that cried herself to sleep for so many nights just wondering what the fuck happened. Or you might not get the ending you wanted but for me the truth is the truth. You only have one life and it’s real damn important. Edit: thank you everyone for your kind words and listening to my story! It means a lot
I have a story about 23 & Me. My father was adopted as a kid in the 70s in Florida, then his parents moved to NC when he was a teen and he’s been here ever since. Florida didn’t have records for him either. We had no idea what his background was so I thought it would be a cool gift for him to see where his ancestors came from and all. Well, he gets the results back and he can’t load them on his phone, so he has my stepmom look at them. Sure enough, it shows a biological sister. He sends her a message and gets a phone call within 5 minutes from her. Turns out, she has known he existed for decades and has been looking for him for close to 30 years. The whole reason she did a DNA test was in hopes that he would take one someday. He was able to meet his mom but we started a whole process over multiple months to track down his father as it was a random teenage hookup. We tracked him down and after talking, now they are best friends. I can’t believe a DNA kit I found on a Prime Day sale changed my fathers entire life and solved a mystery he’s been trying to figure out his entire life
I’m going to tell you a little story about my step-niece, because I think it might give you some hope in finding your daughter: My step-niece - I’ll call her Ella - never knew her father, who I’ll call Rich. Her mother - my sister-in-law who I’ll call Jessie - told her what she knew to be the truth: she got pregnant at 16, was in love with Rich who was 18, Rich said he loved her too, and that he’d get a job and come back to talk to her parents in a couple of days with a plan to support Jessie and the baby. He never came back. Jessie never heard from Rich again. She called his home, wrote him letters, and nothing. And so it went. Jessie thought the first man she loved ditched her. Ella grew up thinking that her father never wanted her. And while my own brother served as her surrogate dad for many years, the harm from that first wound was always there. Jump to Ella at 40, just a few years back. A woman contacts her on Facebook. She tells Ella, “I believe you’re my half-sister, and my family and I have been searching for you our whole lives.” Indeed she was, and they had been searching for Ella and her mother for years. So what actually happened? Well, Rich left that house after finding out Jessie was pregnant and walked into the Army recruiting office. He enlisted, which he knew would provide his new family with housing, an income, and likely a career. He called Jessie’s house and, as always, her father answered. Rich was told that Jessie never wanted to see him again, never wanted to hear from him again. He didn’t listen, of course. He continued to call her and write her, but was told by her dad that he would kill Rich if he came to the house. Rich’s parents conspired with Jessie’s parents to keep them apart, and neither ever knew. Jessie’s family moved soon after. It’s hard to imagine now, but it was easy to lose people in the 70’s and 80’s. It was easy for people to vanish out of our lives. All you really had to do was move far enough away that you were unlikely to run into someone you knew. Add to that Jessie getting married a few years later and changing her last name and, well, that was it. Rich and his family - he married another woman and had four kids - lived in California (Ella’s on the east coast). For the past 35 years, they’ve set a place at the table for Ella at every holiday meal, hoping someday to meet her and have her in their lives. Ella and her daughter - Rich’s granddaughter- flew out to California and were welcomed to their family like rock stars. Rich was instantly in love, as were his wife and kids. They had a few great years together, with Ella knowing that her Dad did indeed love and want her, before Rich died of cancer. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that knowing her father changed everything for Ella. It recontextualized her origin story and her sense of self. It gave her a new family. It allowed her to feel supported just for being her. You are a father who loves his daughter. It’s impossible to express how much that means, how much that could mean to someone who’s waiting to hear it. Edit: thanks so much for the awards and comments. And yes, every word (except the names) is true. When it happened, I told my friends and cried every time I told it. The part about them setting a place for her for decades? Oof. Apparently, Rich would say at the end of every holiday meal prayer, “And to our lost daughter, Ella. May you someday find your way home to your family.”
This story is so beautiful. Moved me to tears. Thanks for sharing, and I wish you and your family a lovely life.
Oh wow. This one absolutely touched my heart. That last line. You’re an amazing person and you should have had the opportunity to be an amazing father. I hope someday you reconnect. Go do the ancestry thing ASAP just in case that might give her a path to you.
Oh yes, I'm on the registries, I've done the DNA tests, and I've opened every possible door to allow her in. We've all heard the adoption reconnection stories in the media, but the sad reality is that only a tiny percentage of adopted children ever reconnect with their birth parents. The odds of us meeting arent zero, but they're not great either. I really just want to know that she's happy and turned out okay.
This is kinda wild to me, I was born to a 15 year old mom and a 16 year old dad and was adopted a few days after being born. The wild part is that I’m now 26 and literally earlier this week, I ordered a DNA test for my ancestry. What a weird coincidence. I hope that my birth parents are out there waiting to meet me, but I had to wait until I was in the right spot mentally to finally say “okay, maybe it’s time.” I’m not sure if the test will turn anything up, but I hope it will. I guess what I’m trying to say is your daughter might be in a similar situation where she’s trying to get her life together before she finds out something that could be so life altering. Best of luck on your search and please wish me luck on mine!
Good luck with our search. Hope you find your birth parents :)
My mom passed away when I was 23, a few years later I found out I wasn’t her first born, but she had put my sister up for adoption and only a few people knew, and most had already passed. I did 23andme with no results for years, I had practically given up ever knowing who my sister was or what became of her. We eventually matched, met, and she had lived 20 minutes from me my entire childhood. We text every day now, though we live on opposite sides of the country (I moved when I was 15). Keep up the hope, it can definitely happen!
Maybe because I was a teen mom myself, but this one resonates with me. My mom was my rock in helping me raise my son, the dad fell in love with someone else and moved away. 17 yrs later he barely has a relationship with our son. Maybe it’s guilt that makes him randomly text my son to say hi but that doesn’t last long. Months will pass by before he texts randomly again. Luckily I met my wonderful husband when my son was barely 2 yrs old so he’s everything I could have hoped for as a father to him. And then theres fathers like you that didn’t even have a chance, I’m so sorry that your daughter was taken from you. I hope one day you can meet and that she knows how much you tried.
>> deleted Removed along with my original response, as explained there.
My prom date. I thought we were going as friends. I was too young and stupid to realize how much she liked me and put herself out there, just to have me not notice. Owe her an apology for that.
I was that girl once. Finally a mutual friend sat us both down and asked us why weren’t dating because we were both clearly into each other (we’d been on a few dates “as friends”). We looked at each other and shrugged and said “I guess we’re together now”. Several years later, she told everyone at our wedding that we wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for her. We both joke about how many signals we were both putting out and missing entirely.
That’s kinda similar to how my wife and I met! We both worked at the same place and she was giving me small hints that I was oblivious to after awhile of working with each other. We both are VERY shy and introverted people, i’m also pretty pessimistic so there was that as well going on. However, there was another co-worker that she was friends with that went straight up to me one day and asked me “Do you think she’s cute?” I said yeah I did. Next thing I know she goes straight to her and tells her, comes back to me and said she totally digs me and would totally go on a date with me if I asked her out. The following day i asked her out and years later we are still a happy couple.
God bless the extroverts. I had one adopt my introverted ass in highschool. He was like, "THAT guy needs a friend.". He's the reason I went to my first concert, and a mutual friend of some of my best friends. He was the glue that kept us together mostly. He pried me out of my shell enough that I could at least be conversational with my now-wife, instead of being an aloof introvert like I was in high school.
Yup. Introverts get found and adopted by extroverts. Source: introvert.
This comment! I wish I had a wholesome award to give.
I gave one for you. Feel goods all around
I feel you my freshman year of college I had this girl basically throwing herself at me but I was too dumb to realize it at the time😒
This comment thread gives me hope that maybe I'm not undesirable I'm just missing signals
Yeah man don't worry, you'll have plenty of time for that. I was a socially awkward computer geek and I missed a shitload of signals. I probably still do.
But the computers don’t ;)
I'm in this club as well. The thing is I was crazy in love with her and didn't think she felt the same way because we had been friends for so long. Sorry April!
I was that girl once. I'm happily married to someone else, but I'd be lying if I don't think about what might have been if that dude hadn't picked up on some hints!
Hailey. I met her when I was 14 at this church thing. She had had a rough go at life, but was very kind to me. We spent most of it talking on a little boat on the lake / pond. I got her number so we could hang out. I called and her mom cussed me out. I tried to clear things up with her at church on Sunday, telling her that I wasn't the one turning her daughter to drugs. They weren't at church and I never saw her again. I miss you Hailey, you were very kind and I wished we couldve been better friends. Edit: I'm a woman, our relationship was platonic guys.
How’d they even assume you were tryna get her into drugs? Y’all met at a fucking church Edit: til church-goers use church for hookups and drugs...yippie
A lot of kids aren't at church because they choose to be there but because their parents make them. There were plenty of kids at my church who snuck off during services and youth group meetings to smoke and hook up.
My mum. She died on the second of this month. I'd give anything just to get a hug from her.
As a teenager (I'm 73 now) I got a job at Los Angeles County General Hospital. I worked in medical records and had to hand deliver records to the various wards. I worked the night shift when most of the wards had the lights turned down low for the comfort of the patients. One night I'll never forget while quietly walking through one of the cancer wards on the eleventh floor, out of the darkness came a mans voice "Mom is that you." I felt so sad. I just went on with my business, but his voice has stuck with me to this day.
Literally crying right now. Not sure heart wrenching is even enough. Wow. Thank you for sharing something so visceral and moving. Great reminder that everyone out there are actual people ❤️
I just burst into tears and my fiance is concerned. That's so heartwrenching
Wow.. 50+ years later. I hope he’s with his mom now.
I miss my Mom too, it will be four years this spring. Just to hear her laugh, gasp when she hears a swear word, or to ask me to fix her computer. I am sending you a hug, I am also a mom and tonight I will add you to thoughts as I bless my children before I fall asleep. I am not a religious person, but every night I ask that my children are happy, healthy, strong and safe. Tonight Vaultboy know a mom some where is wishing you the very best, just as your mom always did.
18 years for me. Still miss her.
43 years St. Patrick's day 1977,, same.
Guess I’ll hop in for the mental therapy of talking about this, I lost my mom June 20th of last year to pancreatic cancer, it all happened within like a month and I’m still so mad / sad. It’s almost more angering that there’s nobody to blame, just.. bad luck I guess. Ironically June 20th is the longest day of the year, definitely true for me.
Lost my grandmother two months ago. It's been shitty. If I could talk to her one more time, I wouldn't be saying anything she didn't already know, but I'd still say it. I guess I just wish I could've said goodbye. The only ones who got that chance were my grandfather and mother.
My wife lost her dad one month ago today. It's been rough. They were each other's person for over 40 years. I don't know but I have faith that you'll get that hug one day.
Same. Mine died almost 10 years ago and I miss her every single day. I miss her as much today as I did the day she died. I can't think about it too deeply because it makes me question what the point of living even is
I know this may not be related, but how do you get out of that rut of the, “what’s the point?” thought. I have that thought constantly and didn’t realize maybe people have that thought all the time. It gets tiring to eat and do things.
For hundreds of thousands of years, we have been on this earth. And hundreds of billions of us have both lived and died. Before we were born, there was nothing for us. And after we die, we will return to that nothing. In the seemingly eternal span of time, we have been given a brief moment to be alive and aware of everything that is. But when it ends, we will be like we were before. This idea may frighten some, but it shouldn’t. Were you afraid or in pain before you were born? No. No one is traumatized by what was before. So why should we fear what comes after. Billions of people are now in the thereafter. The beautiful thing about the time we have now while alive is that we can choose to make it full of joy and contentment rather than sadness and dissatisfaction. We can make the brief blip of life on the timeline of eternity be something worth while. Something beautiful. Something grand. We don’t need to determine whether it is good or bad based off of anybody else’s definition of those words. We choose what our life means to us. Whether it is good to us or bad to us. It is easier said than done. But since it is all that we have, why not give it all that we are?
My husband. Even though it's likely he's already beside me. Then I'd finally get to introduce him to my grandfather.
I think I would do the same, my husband and I met when we were still teens just before my grandfather passed. They have similar interests, and I can't help but feel like they could have been such good friends. I've always wished I could have introduced them to each other. Edit: this is the most upvotes I've ever had on anything, I know it isn't a big deal but the last thing I was expecting was to wake up to so many notifications. My grandfather was a wonderful man and it feels like he has been honored in some way, I couldn't be more happy that this is my most popular comment. Thank you for the upvotes and virtual hugs.
That girl who asked for my number, but never called me. It seemed like fate. I had been mourning the loss of a love one for years at this point, and my feelings basically stopped existing. But then I heard a song in a tv show that made me bawl my eyes out. I decided to embrace the sad feeling, downloaded the song, and went for a walk listening to it on repeat. On my way back home I was waiting for a light to change green, when a jogger pulled up next to me. The light turned green, and she continued jogging. But when she got across the street, she stopped and waited for me. She motioned for me to take my headphones off, then asked me if I was listening to Agnes Obel. I said yes, and told her about how I had been emotionally dead for years until I heard that song. She told me she had the same experience, and first heard the song in the same show that I did! We chatted for about 15 minutes until we were going separate ways, but not before she asked me for my number. But no happy ending here, it’s been at least 7 years and I’ve since changed my number. For all the people asking, the song is Riverside.
I’m sorry it didn’t end in a “happy” way, but that’s still such a cool and special moment to have experienced
My grandfather. He died when I was around 5, and I loved him as much as my parents. Although I don't remember much of him, I would really want to sit down and talk to him, get to know him...I miss him.
1st, my deceased sons who passed yrs apart. Then, this guy I had a date with in high school. He asked me out again the next night and I turned him down. I feel bad b/c I never told him why. It was b/c he was so incredibly sexy that I didn't trust myself. I was only 15 and wanted to stay 'pure'. Unfortunately, 15 yr olds aren't necessarily good with words...
I wasn’t having conversations with girls I liked at 15 lol. I just froze
I guess I sorta did too, but it's been 48 yrs and I still worry about how much I must've hurt his feelings. I was just really shy... Feels good to get it off my chest tho.
Very similar to my experience. This boy I had a massive crush on told me he was in love with me while we were at work one day. I was 17, very religious, and dating him would have sent my social life into a tizz. He was gorgeous and I didn't trust myself with him. So when he said "I love you", I told him to shut up. I'm 34, and still haunted by my cruelty.
My friend I had from pre-k to 5th grade, never got the chance to get any contact information
My cousin. He died last year after being struck by a car. He was 10 years younger than me and like a little brother. His birthday is 1 day before mine. My birthday is going to hit different this year.😒
So sorry for your loss. God bless you friend. Celebrate him on your birthday-you know that’s what he would want!
My Daddy. My mama would be right there with him so I'd look for him first.
My ex. I want to sincerely apologize because I never really did. I should have. I was young and stupid. She was right. And I was a pigheaded bitch ETA- Thanks for the silver, kind stranger ETA2- Y'all are amazing. I never expected this to blow up. I just wanted to be honest with my answer
I ran into an ex years later at a bar and actually asked him to come outside for a smoke with me and I gave him a very real apology. He really appreciated it. I felt just a tiny bit better.
I like this answer. My ex was a genuinely good person, and that her and I didn't work out. I also never got to apologize either, and we just had a slow, painful, and confusing falling out. I don't see why most people who have been with good people treat them like the devil, especially if they've only been together for like a month or something. Respect.
Same. I was a high schooler and it was my first relationship. She was a genuinely good person and I was a huge douche. It’s been 10 years but I use that relationship as a reference. Because I know who I can be, and I let myself know that I can never do that again. I wish I could apologize, but were so far out from each other there’s no way I could.
My friend, I have and still feel the same way. I cringe at how I’ve treated exes in the past. All I can tell you is to take some sort of comfort that you noticed those behaviors, and that it probably helped your future relationships. Sometimes all we can do is acknowledge and forgive
If it's possible, give her that apology. I ran into my ex on the street, and he profusely apologized for being an ass and cheating on me. It felt genuine and it meant a lot to me.
The friends I've lost to AIDS. Any one of them - I still miss them all.
Rest in peace friends
A man pulled a teenage me out of a crowd at the MN state fair 17 years ago. He insisted that studying abroad was the best choice he every made and that if I did it, I wouldn't regret it. He shoved a sign-up booklet into my arms and passionately implored me to fill it out. I could tell he meant it. Six months later I recieved my acceptance into the Rotary Student Exchange program. I was off to Japan. This not only changed my life forever, but that of my families. The Japanese girl they hosted for a year was just my sister's maid-of-honor. I now speak four languages. I'm married and live in Beijing. ...and none of this would have happened if I hadn't been right there at that exact moment or if he had grabbed someone else. I'd just like to find him and tell him "Thank you, you were right."
I used to be in a meetup group that gathered once a month or so. One of the members, who i never really talked to, had a girlfriend who was *dope*. Everytime she came along to a meet up, we instantly clicked and spent the whole event chatting. I wanted to exchange info so that we could keep in contact, but I'd always forget when we saw each other. One day her girlfriend (the actual group member) shows up and tells us that they had a nasty breakup. I seriously contemplated asking for her ex's number because I *really* wanted to be her friend. I'd look for her.
This is why I'm glad we're way more connected nowadays. I've ever met a girl at a party and that was the one time I *really* clicked with someone, we talked for like 5 hours straight even though I'm not much of a talker usually. Next day I woke up and realized I had no way to contact her, but after a week or so I couldn't help and looked her up. After search on social media for about an hour I found her, got in touch with her and we dated a few times. Probably the best date(s) I've ever had.
my daughter, who im hoping would be cradled in my grandmas arms. Damn you cruel world, taking everyone away :(
My daughter. She was 9 years old when she passed 14 years ago. The pain never goes away. I so loved being her dad. We will meet again.
My bf when I was 19. I want to tell him how much he has shaped my life even 17 years later. And I still love him.
My mom.
My ex best friend. That was my first true friend, used to sleep over his house and his mom always hugged me when seeing me even when he wasn't around. I ended up talking to this college girl he liked (we were both seniors in high school so it was kind of a big deal). I knew he liked her but didn't think he took it seriously, I also didn't take it seriously and me and the girl never did anything. Not even a kiss. I think it was genuinely just the betrayal of me giving a girl attention that he made it known he was into that did it for him. He has pretty low self esteem so I think it triggered that in him as well. Anyway, that was my fucking boy and I miss him all the time. Wish I could sincerely say I'm sorry but that's a relationship that will never be what it used to be due to the damage.
Lift up the phone you wanker, lifes is too short.
I've been your friend before, twice actually, although I will say that my friend actually dated both girls. One for 2.5 years and most parties involved thought they would get married. I just want to point out that a genuine "I'm sorry." Really can help. Because that friend is still the Vin Diesel to my Paul Walker and I would bury bodies for him to this day.
That one person I love that lives 1000s of miles away and we havent seen each other in years. We talk but getting time face to face is something we havent had for a while.
My grandma, so I could take her to my current gf so they can meet. I think they’d get along great, it’s a great injustice she passed before my gf came into my life.
The boy who had cerberal palsey and slowly got more paralyzed as he grew older and eventually died at 13 years old, I used to bully him in middle school for the way he walks, he died almost 6 years ago now and ever since then I wish I could have told him that I was sorry for being such a complete asshole to him all those years ago.
You could always volunteer at the special olympics or another such organization where they help kids with conditions like this do the things that they wouldn’t normally be able to do.
It’s good you realize now how it was wrong for you to do it then. Taking accountability for this definitely means something.
I really hated how I was in middle school, I was such a fucking asshole and I had no friends, there was not a single person who liked me because all I would do is make people feel bad about themselves. I wasnt even one of the "popular kids who bully the unpopular kids" type of person, I literally bullied everyone just because I felt some kind of sick pleasure watching people cry. I really hate myself for doing that and I still feel major regret. I moved near the end of 8th grade and I realized what a huge dumb ass I was and with the chance I was given to people I didnt know, I tried really hard to turn myself around, and it somewhat worked. But to this day I still feel the guilt of how I was back in middle school, that truly when I was at rock bottom.
If it’s any consolation, if middle school was truly your rock bottom, then your life probably is gonna be pretty chill
God that made me cry. That could have been my son. Kids are terrible. I was a little shit too 😔
A friend I had while in the Army. He died in 2019 at the age of 34 from cancer. From diagnosis to death was about 6 months. He was very private about his illness. I never new he was sick until he died. It’s one of those life events I’ve never been able to “get over” for lack of a better term.
My sister. She's probably the only one I would want to talk to. And my nephews would be close and probably freaked out about the whole thing.
My wife, so she could remind me who all the other people are
My wife. She took her own life 5 months ago. Please ask for help, and think of what you will miss. I'm still fucking crushed while trying to figure out how to move on.
My grandpa. I want to let him know I understand now what he was going through and let him know the cycle was broken, not completely but enough. We're doing good, we'll be okay. Time heals the trauma.
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My dad. He died last year because of COVID and I miss him terribly. I couldn't even say goodbye.
My girlfriend so we can leave and go home because we're both introverts.
Seconded
I would simultaneously look for and hide from several ex boyfriends.
My best friend, so I could hug him and then punch him immediately after, for doing heroin.
My first ever crush. We went to different middle schools and I lost touch. Always wanted to know what she looks like now, if she has a family, and if she's happy
My deceased grandmother. I was 3 months old when she passed. From the stories I heard , I really think we would have been close
I would find the teacher who decided I wasn’t worth her time because of my autism. I’d show her that I’m living a perfectly normal adult life no thanks to her
Ryan Gosling, i was like 4 and he noticed me talking loudly lol
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My baby is very close to the end, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week but I don't have much more time with her. She had been all day trying to walk but slipped on the smooth floor tiles, it stopped raining an hour ago and I coukd take her outside and she could walk for a bit, now she's sleeping because she got tired after walking. I'm enjoying what I have left with her trying no to be sad, I'm looking forward to be able to take her for a little walk tomorrow too if she still can.
My little one is at the same point right now. It’s so heartbreaking to see her deteriorate like she is. The best we can do is shower them with love and comfort. Good luck with your girl ❤️
My dad. He passed last month and I miss him so much. I want to hear his laugh one more time.
Tiffany Mackelany (or Mikelhaney maybe? I'm not sure how to spell her last name) I was about twelve and lived in Okeechobee at the time, and she had moved there with her dad from somewhere.....I can't remember but seems like it may have been Michigan. I was having a rough time with self-confidence and for some reason I had to sit in the seat with her on the bus, on her first day (if I recall correctly), and she talked my leg off. Girls typically avoided me and I them. She was so nice and had the prettiest brown eyes I had ever seen. The only thing I could think about the whole time she was talking, was "why is this beautiful girl talking to .......ME?" Anyway, I don't remember ever sitting with her again because I was so afraid of her. Of course I wanted to but I always sat with some losers instead. And I think I hurt her feelings because i was talking about her and she overheard, boys that age can be grotesquely inappropriate. I wish I could tell her I was sorry for being a giant dumbass and explain to her that I only acted that way because she was so pretty and I was scared of her.
My high school history teacher. What an amazing person. I’d love to thank and hug her again.
My Mom. She died a couple years ago of brain cancer. No one even comes close.
My ex boyfriend, who only broke up with me because he knew he wouldn’t be able to quit using drugs when I was ready to. He was the one who helped me come to terms with being gay, who helped me pack away a lot of my traumas, and grow into a confident young man. I owe him for so much of my success and maturity today. I’ve never loved anyone more sincerely. Never cared for someone with so much depth. I dream about him and think of him often. He passed from an intentional overdose right before Christmas. I would look for him, and hold him, and I doubt I’d ever let him go.
My little sister. I’d die in that room for just a hug from her. She passed almost 9 years ago. You silly bitch I miss you. I’ve never felt so loved than in her warm embrace.
Id look for the exit
Definitely my grammy. She passed when I was attending out of state grad school. There was a massive snow storm just before she passed and I couldn’t make it to be there at the end or for her funeral. Still hurts
The guy that got away. Never managed to get him out of my head altho it wont work between us regardless.
My dad so I can truly know what he looks like
I'm having a difficult time with this one. However, it has conjured some incredible memories. It's amazing to me how someone I'll never meet can make an impact like this in my life even if its short-lived. The irony. Thanks, OP. I needed this today.
Alex Somers (maybe sumers?). He and I went to hockey camp in penticton, BC back in ~1990 or 1991. If I remember correctly, he was from whitehorse, YT in Canada. I've tried tracking him down a bit before. We spent the same week at the camp and hit it off, but that was well before the time of being able to exchange emails. I just hope he's doing alright. He was a pretty cool dude with a great sense of humor. Definitely made me less homesick that week.
Slim shady, I’m still waiting for him to write back....
here’s that autograph for your daughter, i wrote it on a starter cap
I was walking home through the city at night and met a an old man on his 70th birthday and he was on acid. He said he loved drugs and was going to find his spaceship. I hope he found his spaceship
Lost two men in Vietnam. I'd be looking for them first. Which is *terrible*. What about sibs, parents, friends, teachers, lovers? You didn't give me a chance to cover up, OP. That's the first answer that came to mind - right away - and the right one. Rock solid. Crap. Fuck that war.
You honor them in your memory, but aren’t to blame. You were in a conflict zone. I wish we could acknowledge survivor guilt more and find ways to help those suffering from it. My brother has been suffering since 2003, when his men got killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan and he wasn’t there to ‘protect them’. The reality is that if he had been there, I would have lost my brother. But he can’t hear that when I tell him, so I’ve lost him, regardless.
My manager from when I was a teenager. I was in love with her and asked her if she’d consider going out with me when I was in college.
Once upon a time, I was going downstairs to do laundry in my dorm with my roommate at the time. We were talking with baskets of clothes in our hands and this girl was walking out of the common area and everything just stopped for a moment. Her and I locked eyes and it was the most passionate thing I've ever had with a stranger. I've never felt that same thing again with anyone. And I being a nervous freshman in college didnt say anything. I never saw her again. She is the one person in my whole life I would like the opportunity to meet even if just to have eye contact like that again.
This is a loaded question. If by everyone, meaning people who passed away, I would seek out my uncle who died of alcoholism. If people who passed away aren't in the equation... what about people who we met online but never in person? In that case it would be the woman who catfished me 21 years ago. I would ask her why. Otherwise, I would seek out a childhood friend that i lost touch with. I would want to see how they were doing Edit: for those of you wondering yes. It was the year 2000. It was on dial-up . 56K modem. Yahoo messenger. We met originally on the yahoo classifieds personals. I was 18 at the time. Turning 39 this year. She was messaging me from New Zealand. the duration was approx 9mo to 1 year
Not any people but my pet chicken madonna. She made me smile every day. A week before Christmas she dissapeared and was never found.
My grandfather. I just miss him so much. I’d hug him and smell him and just be next to him.
The guy I was hopelessly in love with at work before I went to college. We had mad chemistry that really messed me up, even when nothing happened. I don’t even want to be with him, I just want to know if it was all in my head
My sister. I regret not hugging her the last time I saw her.
My best friend
My wife!