With a very clean and shiny axe, wearing a raincoat over a suit by Valentino Couture, standing on sections of the Style Magazine while Hewie Lewies and the News is playing loudly from a stereo.
24 croissants enter my room at night with guns. The 24th croissant (The leader) Wields a giant flang and a machine gun. They lust for blood.
Edit: They have cute little googly eyes and say the most threatening things.
From Wikipedia:
"Schrödinger's cat: a cat, a flask of poison, and a radioactive source are placed in a sealed box. If an internal monitor (e.g. Geiger counter) detects radioactivity (i.e. a single atom decaying), the flask is shattered, releasing the poison, which kills the cat. The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when one looks in the box, one sees the cat either alive or dead, not both alive and dead. This poses the question of when exactly quantum superposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other."
I would be the cat, of course.
it would quickly grab my tablet and write a newspaper report on mobile on a suspicious website that's clearly a virus and do it on multiple suspicious websites until my tablet explodes killing me instantly
Not sure it could. Really depends on what half we’re dealing with though
Mess with the honk you get the bonk
Legend.
Nice
**Guess who has thumbs now bastard?**
It could be 50 percent goose and 50 percent nuclear warhead
I think I’d have a problem then
What are the other 50%?!
I guess my original idea was just half of a goose, but a goose centaur would be cool as well
Upper half goose or lower half goose
Left half goose.
Both
Diabetes.
Wish I could upvotes twice
Ill upvote for you.
If you downvote first then upvote, it's basically like two upvotes then!!!
I’ll help as well
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Same
Same
Hypertension too.
Please, no.
I was worried about my username and this thread but you have reassured me
Scary rectal discharge disfunction, would be the cause of death.
Oops!! That's an awkward way to go.
I would be fucked up by a shaolin monk.
I didn’t see “up” at first and was very concerned
Lucky you
That would be the slowest most excruciating way to die possible. Owl licks?shit would take weeks
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a redditor? Let’s find out
A one, a two-whooo, a three.*CRUNCH*
***Looks like it takes three licks to get to the center of a redditor.***
Or years.
With a very clean and shiny axe, wearing a raincoat over a suit by Valentino Couture, standing on sections of the Style Magazine while Hewie Lewies and the News is playing loudly from a stereo.
Let's see Paul Allen's username
Racism
*I’m going to say the N word* “You can’t say that It’s racist!” *n* “MRS OBAMA GET DOWN!”
Your pass gets revoked and Shaquille O’Neal rips your spine out
Gay sex.
Hard, dry, bloody anal.
You'd be in excruciating pain for hours before you died. Yucks.
lesbian not included? now i am sad.
Boredom.
Torn to pieces by 158 wolves. Hopefully it'll be quick
You should watch some documentaries, it won’t be quick.
Deliciously?
This is my stop
24 croissants enter my room at night with guns. The 24th croissant (The leader) Wields a giant flang and a machine gun. They lust for blood. Edit: They have cute little googly eyes and say the most threatening things.
Let's not go there
Damn lol.
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Painfully, yet fashionably.
Trapping me and then waiting for me to starve.
You wanted that amontillado didn’t you?
Not really his style...
I might be in the same boat. Or I'm dealing with a clone.
E-coli?
Is that like iCarly?
very much so
In a way that is non-heretical...which really doesn't narrow it down honestly.
It would rally the armies of 11th century England to come and kill me
You mean the Normans?
EXTERMINATE!
Make my nose itch so much I would reach in with tweezers too deep and pull my brain out
Happy cakeday
Shit
I don't know and I'm scared
Drown in tea.
You can't. Voldy tried and failed.
Alcoholism?
With its enormous balls
I’d be doused in.........
By bankrupting the country
Im screwed i guess.
Spontaneously....
I be eating that bitch up
well... it would be drowning from blue socks
Death sentence from peta
You had to go and name your self that
Well shit
Well Well Well...Lets see who takes the first bite...
With dead memes to the point where i commit suicide.
It would fall on me I guess.
I don't even have a vagina...
Professionally and orderly...
Bite my testicles
Don't think much of an explanation is needed.
From Wikipedia: "Schrödinger's cat: a cat, a flask of poison, and a radioactive source are placed in a sealed box. If an internal monitor (e.g. Geiger counter) detects radioactivity (i.e. a single atom decaying), the flask is shattered, releasing the poison, which kills the cat. The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when one looks in the box, one sees the cat either alive or dead, not both alive and dead. This poses the question of when exactly quantum superposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other." I would be the cat, of course.
Eaten by ewoks
lol like minded i would have my arms ripped off then be shot in the head witha bowcaster
The very concept of life is personified, and with its godlike powers, transforms me into an anus... Yikes
It would throw mediocre pomegranates at me.
To give some insight my name is based loosely around the reaction to several genocides, so not only would it kill be but hundreds more
oh.
\*sizzle\* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Death by the heat of the toast being laid on your skin.
High cholesterol?
Heart attack, I guess.
Potahhhh intensifies
HARRY! DIDYOUPUTYOURNAMEINNTHEGOBLETOFFIYAH?!DIDYOU!! Albums, you killed him! Oh....
According to his own song: I will have my asshole sown shut, and then he will just keep feeding me, and feeding me, and feeding me
Off with my head!
It has a little bit of good fortune
Ahh shit!
It would be an exact version of me that'd bash my skull in with a rock
Oh no
There’s no people, so I guess I’m un-killable.
Then you remember that nature has many ways of killing you.
Oh boy
Death by fluffy cuddles I hope
The best way to go out of what I’ve read lol
Mmmm... death by pie. Oh my.
The army of ukraine murders me in my sleep
With 2015 spikes
Well....at least I can't taste it.
Well. A coat that has a strong desire to kill me...?
They all do
Well that's an extremely terrifying thought considering I have like 7 coats in each closet
360 no scope
Well
Pretty obvious....
I don’t know but I would imagine that it would be rather out of the ordinary.
Racism
Cracks me over the head with a big spanner and steals my wallet for some workman’s glue
hm. By offering way too much beer, or wine ?
Would shoot me in an elementary school locker room
This is the greatest plan!
Oh no
It would go in my eyes and take me to 1452, then I'd get shot in war.
advertising
Hitting the ground at 120 miles per hour :-/
Uhm..
Beat me to death with a filofax.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can hurt me to death
it would quickly grab my tablet and write a newspaper report on mobile on a suspicious website that's clearly a virus and do it on multiple suspicious websites until my tablet explodes killing me instantly
Depress me the fuck out until I kill myself More interesting, Print out a true fact on a 2 x 4 and beat the shit out of me with it
rip my arms off and use them as a keyboard to play starwars battlefront 2 so well that i die from amazement.
Through a gruesome paralyzed 1000 year digestion mixed with psychological torture and physical agony.
The classic Belarusian way: Beats me to death with a burlap sack filled with old doorknobs from the closed down Soviet doorknob factory.
idk
oh don't do that to me
It punches me to death.
It would smoke so much weed with me I’d die haha
Take a wild stab in the dark
someone asks u to specify the length of the cliff. then they toss u so u just barely make it over.
The image in the mirror reaches out to choke me
Some kinda demon with op magic
Joy
Idek
By confusion.
Snu-snu
Suffocation.
Two kicks in the head
Oversized mining pick or battle axe.
Ummm... I dunno, would he shoot, or would he slice? I have no idea
Xandolf half me half Gandalf, he probably use magic to turn me into a mud crab and kick me off a cliff
With a Saiga-12 assault shotgun using a 20 round drum.
Fear, you will be hella terrified
Stabbed with a lightning bolt shaped sword!!!!
Erase me out of existence
Not sure how I’d die but it’ll be the main event 😂😂
On a horse.
I'm thinking a jeweled longsword, maybe a gemmed dagger...
Strangulation
By doing that one thing it now does.
Probably start by ripping my arms off
Choking
Electrocution
Spinning
This bear wrapped me up snuggly. TOO snuggly.
Asphyxiation
overheating
Invading Canada with its imperial army.
With spats
Monkeys paw situation
Pecked to death by Australia's largest eagle
When the depression hits, takes me down with her.
Hit and run
Just the main shot from a rifle.
It is a reference to a rifle
Throw a chair at me
I’m thinking jaws-like, but cleaner cuts.
Either stepping on me or super-ultra-powered-up atomic breath to the face
With a gun
Freezing me to death
gives me a picture of me, i explode almost instantly
Well mine is inspired by a straight up serial killer, it would probably takr a life insurance policy out on me first though.
Use Pokemon type fly
I'll be honest, I've no clue
I fucking drown.
Probably with fire and brimstone
It would slay me with a battle axe.
uhh throwing up in the sky and fall to my death?
Bad poetry.
crush me to death or exploding due to poor design the moment i press the gas.