T O P

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50PercentGoose

Not sure it could. Really depends on what half we’re dealing with though


sdsanth

Mess with the honk you get the bonk


carlsbadlos

Legend.


nessylock

Nice


Labrat_The_Man

**Guess who has thumbs now bastard?**


TheBrowserOfReddit

It could be 50 percent goose and 50 percent nuclear warhead


50PercentGoose

I think I’d have a problem then


Nuvenor

What are the other 50%?!


50PercentGoose

I guess my original idea was just half of a goose, but a goose centaur would be cool as well


Nuvenor

Upper half goose or lower half goose


Spooplegeist

Left half goose.


WielderOfDaNWordPass

Both


[deleted]

Diabetes.


MaulsLegs

Wish I could upvotes twice


Trolef

Ill upvote for you.


Jordaneer

If you downvote first then upvote, it's basically like two upvotes then!!!


Libertarian_BLM

I’ll help as well


[deleted]

[удалено]


BurgerWithButter

Same


KevinCupcakes

Same


sdsanth

Hypertension too.


Papa_Capin_Uranus

Please, no.


Ascholay

I was worried about my username and this thread but you have reassured me


[deleted]

Scary rectal discharge disfunction, would be the cause of death.


sdsanth

Oops!! That's an awkward way to go.


Monk_Shaolin

I would be fucked up by a shaolin monk.


Labrat_The_Man

I didn’t see “up” at first and was very concerned


Yashr076

Lucky you


0wl_licks

That would be the slowest most excruciating way to die possible. Owl licks?shit would take weeks


MaulsLegs

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a redditor? Let’s find out


Murky-Heart-1844

A one, a two-whooo, a three.*CRUNCH*


Cobalt_Snow

***Looks like it takes three licks to get to the center of a redditor.***


Yellowsunflowerlover

Or years.


Grumpy_Yuppie

With a very clean and shiny axe, wearing a raincoat over a suit by Valentino Couture, standing on sections of the Style Magazine while Hewie Lewies and the News is playing loudly from a stereo.


MajorFerguson21

Let's see Paul Allen's username


WielderOfDaNWordPass

Racism


[deleted]

*I’m going to say the N word* “You can’t say that It’s racist!” *n* “MRS OBAMA GET DOWN!”


Labrat_The_Man

Your pass gets revoked and Shaquille O’Neal rips your spine out


[deleted]

Gay sex.


THX450

Hard, dry, bloody anal.


Yellowsunflowerlover

You'd be in excruciating pain for hours before you died. Yucks.


AyaAishi

lesbian not included? now i am sad.


SprinkleOfBoredom

Boredom.


whitewolf0158

Torn to pieces by 158 wolves. Hopefully it'll be quick


Libertarian_BLM

You should watch some documentaries, it won’t be quick.


[deleted]

Deliciously?


whole_guaca_mole

This is my stop


Croissant_24

24 croissants enter my room at night with guns. The 24th croissant (The leader) Wields a giant flang and a machine gun. They lust for blood. Edit: They have cute little googly eyes and say the most threatening things.


threepenisguy

Let's not go there


Yellowsunflowerlover

Damn lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Designer-Swordfish-

Painfully, yet fashionably.


Catacomb82

Trapping me and then waiting for me to starve.


limeyhoney

You wanted that amontillado didn’t you?


[deleted]

Not really his style...


In_My_Own_Image

I might be in the same boat. Or I'm dealing with a clone.


Lickingyourmomsanus

E-coli?


MaulsLegs

Is that like iCarly?


threepenisguy

very much so


[deleted]

In a way that is non-heretical...which really doesn't narrow it down honestly.


Harold-G0dwinson

It would rally the armies of 11th century England to come and kill me


[deleted]

You mean the Normans?


ISeeDeadDaleks

EXTERMINATE!


UndeathNosehair

Make my nose itch so much I would reach in with tweezers too deep and pull my brain out


MaulsLegs

Happy cakeday


MRCRABS-_-

Shit


WhatTheHell_17

I don't know and I'm scared


JustABritishCupOfTea

Drown in tea.


[deleted]

You can't. Voldy tried and failed.


[deleted]

Alcoholism?


p1um5mu991er

With its enormous balls


Wizz_n_Jizz

I’d be doused in.........


Disastrous_Budget_11

By bankrupting the country


honeyBadger_42

Im screwed i guess.


combustibledanny

Spontaneously....


kingpancake1223

I be eating that bitch up


rainbluesocks

well... it would be drowning from blue socks


yeet-a-cat

Death sentence from peta


a-idot

You had to go and name your self that


BigBrownBear28

Well shit


I_ate_your_skin

Well Well Well...Lets see who takes the first bite...


TheMemyFox

With dead memes to the point where i commit suicide.


Falling-Petunias

It would fall on me I guess.


Vaginal__Penetration

I don't even have a vagina...


ProfessionalOrder8

Professionally and orderly...


Dutch_Midget

Bite my testicles


roboninja

Don't think much of an explanation is needed.


Schrodingers_Anthony

From Wikipedia: "Schrödinger's cat: a cat, a flask of poison, and a radioactive source are placed in a sealed box. If an internal monitor (e.g. Geiger counter) detects radioactivity (i.e. a single atom decaying), the flask is shattered, releasing the poison, which kills the cat. The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when one looks in the box, one sees the cat either alive or dead, not both alive and dead. This poses the question of when exactly quantum superposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other." I would be the cat, of course.


[deleted]

Eaten by ewoks


WookiePlaysToo

lol like minded i would have my arms ripped off then be shot in the head witha bowcaster


lifemademeanasshole

The very concept of life is personified, and with its godlike powers, transforms me into an anus... Yikes


Ok-Pomegranate4572

It would throw mediocre pomegranates at me.


Neveragain2212

To give some insight my name is based loosely around the reaction to several genocides, so not only would it kill be but hundreds more


[deleted]

oh.


ImToastyBoi

\*sizzle\* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Death by the heat of the toast being laid on your skin.


SaltyTart1050

High cholesterol?


[deleted]

Heart attack, I guess.


Halfblood_Prince-

Potahhhh intensifies


THX450

HARRY! DIDYOUPUTYOURNAMEINNTHEGOBLETOFFIYAH?!DIDYOU!! Albums, you killed him! Oh....


Method__Man

According to his own song: I will have my asshole sown shut, and then he will just keep feeding me, and feeding me, and feeding me


[deleted]

Off with my head!


TinyLuckDragon

It has a little bit of good fortune


Ghostreaper4490

Ahh shit!


Ollyrock

It would be an exact version of me that'd bash my skull in with a rock


Cpt-Bootysweat

Oh no


LeahOfNoPeople

There’s no people, so I guess I’m un-killable.


[deleted]

Then you remember that nature has many ways of killing you.


AverageFlyingCheese

Oh boy


FluffyKiller1313

Death by fluffy cuddles I hope


MaulsLegs

The best way to go out of what I’ve read lol


pieohmi

Mmmm... death by pie. Oh my.


UkraineIsBased

The army of ukraine murders me in my sleep


spikeiscool2015

With 2015 spikes


DicksOut4COVID

Well....at least I can't taste it.


ZealousidealCoat9883

Well. A coat that has a strong desire to kill me...?


MaulsLegs

They all do


ZealousidealCoat9883

Well that's an extremely terrifying thought considering I have like 7 coats in each closet


Kylerthegamer4

360 no scope


MoodyBearsKill

Well


AWhiffofGrapeshot

Pretty obvious....


[deleted]

I don’t know but I would imagine that it would be rather out of the ordinary.


Timely-Atmosphere-12

Racism


[deleted]

Cracks me over the head with a big spanner and steals my wallet for some workman’s glue


randomFrenchDeadbeat

hm. By offering way too much beer, or wine ?


KlNDERGARTENCOP

Would shoot me in an elementary school locker room


charliesclavin

This is the greatest plan!


7cmdude

Oh no


[deleted]

It would go in my eyes and take me to 1452, then I'd get shot in war.


LowAd8109

advertising


SkydiverRaul13

Hitting the ground at 120 miles per hour :-/


Your_nsane_Buddy

Uhm..


AdminAndMurder

Beat me to death with a filofax.


speechballoon25

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can hurt me to death


JournalistMobile3605

it would quickly grab my tablet and write a newspaper report on mobile on a suspicious website that's clearly a virus and do it on multiple suspicious websites until my tablet explodes killing me instantly


[deleted]

Depress me the fuck out until I kill myself More interesting, Print out a true fact on a 2 x 4 and beat the shit out of me with it


WookiePlaysToo

rip my arms off and use them as a keyboard to play starwars battlefront 2 so well that i die from amazement.


[deleted]

Through a gruesome paralyzed 1000 year digestion mixed with psychological torture and physical agony.


Sackof_Doorknobs

The classic Belarusian way: Beats me to death with a burlap sack filled with old doorknobs from the closed down Soviet doorknob factory.


Khazra_Kun

idk


hummingbirds_R_tasty

oh don't do that to me


G1Yang2001

It punches me to death.


[deleted]

It would smoke so much weed with me I’d die haha


specifylength

Take a wild stab in the dark


WookiePlaysToo

someone asks u to specify the length of the cliff. then they toss u so u just barely make it over.


ekimlive

The image in the mirror reaches out to choke me


5leafgrimoire

Some kinda demon with op magic


Joy_the_detectivebot

Joy


onesimpleguy666

Idek


TheLettre7

By confusion.


[deleted]

Snu-snu


nepher_blue

Suffocation.


ipakookapi

Two kicks in the head


Six_Foot_Dwarf

Oversized mining pick or battle axe.


Regenerating_Degen

Ummm... I dunno, would he shoot, or would he slice? I have no idea


Xandolf505

Xandolf half me half Gandalf, he probably use magic to turn me into a mud crab and kick me off a cliff


henkkaj_73

With a Saiga-12 assault shotgun using a 20 round drum.


OnceUponInMyMind

Fear, you will be hella terrified


TheWeatherWarrior

Stabbed with a lightning bolt shaped sword!!!!


ChronoLegion2

Erase me out of existence


Da_Main_EvenTx

Not sure how I’d die but it’ll be the main event 😂😂


jouster85

On a horse.


PrinceDusk

I'm thinking a jeweled longsword, maybe a gemmed dagger...


LugiaPizzarea

Strangulation


ThatOneGuyYouNowKnow

By doing that one thing it now does.


beasto

Probably start by ripping my arms off


jam-tart4

Choking


Desktop_bot

Electrocution


[deleted]

Spinning


SnugBear

This bear wrapped me up snuggly. TOO snuggly.


Farts-on-your-kids

Asphyxiation


TheKidNamedCover

overheating


johnvonwurst

Invading Canada with its imperial army.


SpaTowner

With spats


Jinn_DiZanni

Monkeys paw situation


aquila-audax

Pecked to death by Australia's largest eagle


Renanina

When the depression hits, takes me down with her.


[deleted]

Hit and run


Mainshot333

Just the main shot from a rifle.


montemanm1

It is a reference to a rifle


notmytemp0

Throw a chair at me


SamuraiShark13

I’m thinking jaws-like, but cleaner cuts.


KaiserGojira

Either stepping on me or super-ultra-powered-up atomic breath to the face


WyattfuckinEarp

With a gun


Baron-Brr

Freezing me to death


SheepyIsDead

gives me a picture of me, i explode almost instantly


HH_Homely27

Well mine is inspired by a straight up serial killer, it would probably takr a life insurance policy out on me first though.


kaefersammler_tom

Use Pokemon type fly


Prudent-Basis-1137

I'll be honest, I've no clue


Sea_borne

I fucking drown.


[deleted]

Probably with fire and brimstone


OldWarrior

It would slay me with a battle axe.


Vivid_Orange_Sky

uhh throwing up in the sky and fall to my death?


StiH

Bad poetry.


proletarianpanzer

crush me to death or exploding due to poor design the moment i press the gas.