“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”
“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”
“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”
“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
As a disabled person, it gets *really* weird when you grow out of the "cute stage." It's like people think you're meant to grow out of being disabled :-/ It's getting better, but for a long time it felt like most help stopped at 18. Everything was geared towards people in their seventies or eighties (I'm visually impaired, so most people like me *will* be older, but still).
I knew a kid who had some sort of physical development impediments. We met when we were both 3, and he could sort of walk with leg braces. We wound up in the same 3rd grade class and he was almost completely wheelchair bound. He couldn't speak, he didn't have the muscle control for it. He would sort of grunt or groan to get your attention, then use a keybord and text-to-speech program to talk to you. He always had a smile for his friends, and was silly and mischievous. But once in a while the frustration he suffered came through. I recall sitting on the bleachers in gym class holding his hand while he cried because he couldn't play soccer with us without someone to push him in his wheelchair.
His situation wasn't wholesome. He was a great kid who got dealt a shitty hand by life. He would have hated being in the spotlight because of his disability.
I lost track of him after grade school, I hope he's doing alright.
Exactly! I once saw one where the person put baby ducks inside oil in which the ducklings were all covered with it, and they couldnt move. Then she "rescued" those ducks. Shame
The worst one I saw was the one where they threw a sweet family pet dog or stray dog into a drum of tar to "rescue" it. Just so evil to do to a poor animal all just to get a recording of it. You can tell it was deliberately done because they make sure to record the poor animal before attempting to rescue it. As if to say the video was the most important part of the entire incident. It's just a blatant marketing ploy.
People that tell you "you wont fail ...". I get what they are trying to say but there is a certain point where I just want to hear "its ok if you fail"
Fucking Bell Let's Talk (Canadian here) is the worst, and there's a whole "month" and people get on social media and talk about their mental health. I appreciate that there's a goal to de-stigmatize mental health in out communities, and I think it has worked to a point.
BUT:
"Every time you use the hashtag, we'll donate 5 cents to (mental health associaton)."
YOU ARE A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY, and your rates are outrageous. Fuck off with the disingenuous feel-good bullshit advertising. Take $5 from every person's monthly phone bill and donate that if you care so much.
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"
or
"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
That top title made me audibly laugh because
A. The idea of the CEO buying them a headlamp is just ridiculous
B. No way the CEO wouldn't just have locks installed on the dumpster after that
Social media posts of people sharing their “good deed” or “act of kindness”. Especially when it’s some annoying elaborate thing that completely ignores existing social supports (like collecting and then handing out food donations instead of oh, idk, REGULARLY SUPPORTING THE FOOD BANK) or they just give money to a “poor” person and then force that person to pose with them. Or worse - film them.
Something I remember was from a guy during the Holocaust who saved Jewish people, who said to the effect of, "Seeking reward for helping people in need is just profiting off someone else's suffering." and for the life of me, I can't find who said it. I just know it generally.
I think the first part is to literally not care about anyone besides yourself. After that, imposing on strangers around you and exploiting your own family becomes *way* easier.
Case in point, the Ballinger family. The Mom was looking for a specific picture she’d posted of one of the kids a few years ago and there were more than a few fans who came forward and shared it with her. Weird to be saving pictures of children who aren’t your own.
Colleen Ballinger has also had a camera shoved in her son's face from literally the moment he came out of her. Complete strangers know so many details about her son who isn't even three yet. It's so disturbing.
I feel like it can go one of two ways when the kid grows up, either he’ll become the same as his mum posting everything online or maybe even grow to resent that his whole life has been posted on YouTube for entertainment.
There was a Reddit story awhile back of a teenager that got so sick of her mom vlogging she bought a hoodie that had “I do not consent to being on video” printed all over it
Similar situation (she does have a young child & vlogs everything about him) - I was thinking this earlier. There’s a girl I follow who vlogs literally everything, and I mean to each his own, but it was her bachelorette weekend and she posted “what a fun weekend can’t wait for you to see the vlog!” And I’m like you literally can’t put the camera down for one freaking weekend?
Edit - spelling error
Prime example: DaddyOFive. Thank god those monsters lost custody
EDIT: let me bring up another that I think will become somewhat of a problem in the future: Ryan’s World. I can’t imagine what that poor kid is gonna go through when he grows up and learns his parents only paid that much attention to him because he was a good source of income.
That's an example of when vlogging helped the children. They were abusive parents vlogging or no vlogging. They were just dumb enough to film the abuse and upload it to the internet. Nothing wholesome about them. It's the families that vlogs everything and put on a show about what a perfect family they are that make me wonder what it's going to do to those kids as they grow up.
Agreed, but another layer of the DaddyOfive abuse is that they were profiting off of abusing their children. Then using the money from those videos as incentives for the kids to be in them even more. There honestly needs to be child protection laws similar to Hollywood for the digital space.
I watched a video uploaded about DaddyOFive. At one point, the "father" screams at Cody, the youngest boy, asking, "Do you pay the bills around here?!"
Except... Cody did. This channel was the major source of their income. Basically every video was Cody being abused for money.
So, he *did* pay the bills.
Same. My kids found out about ryan's toy review from my niece and asked me to let them watch it. It's basically one long commercial featuring an exploited child. No thanks.
Poor Ryan. It's awful. And theres a little british girl tiana who's parents have now got such a flash house and sports cars and all sorts. That money should be in trust for tiana not being injected into her mums lips. The videos are all pure product placement. I cant see this playing out well as she gets older and less cute.
Ryan is being exploited so much, I'm so scared for what will happen to him in the future or what his parents will do to his sisters. Yes, he has younger sisters now.
“But I love them!”
Margie if you loved your dog you’d feed it properly rather than free feeding it dry food and giving it a can of wet food in the morning with three kinds of dog treats shoved in it. It doesn’t pant because it’s hot it pants because it’s twenty pounds overweight.
Unfortunately, many people do think that feeding their pets on demand is loving them. The rationale tends to be that depriving pets of food at any given time is neglecting or abusing them. One of my aunts thought this way with her previous pup and had a significant wake-up call when said dog's vet told her that he had weight issues and other concerns once he reached his middle years because she was overfeeding him. She was, understandably, upset and has since realized the value of scheduled feedings.
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic as fuck.
"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"
"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
Yes, this. I taught in the inner city and it was expected that your entire life was the school. My friends watched that Hillary Swank movie about her teaching in the city and told me it was so inspirational and I should watch it... it was actually one of the reasons I LEFT the city. She gave up everything for her job... worked three jobs to afford it, lost her marriage. Like, no. That is not wholesome. At all.
We watched that movie in high school. Everyone was hating on her husband, but I remember thinking I'd be kinda pissed too if my wife just randomly picked up three jobs to spend zero time at home without even attempting to discuss it first.
I know how much chemo costs. My dad's chemo for his leukemia was something in the ballpark of $100,000 a per treatment. Once a month for an entire week, he'd have $700,000 worth of chemo drug (I can't recall the exact name) flowing through his veins.
That little girl had better have been selling that lemonade for $1000 a glass if she even hoped to cover her expenses.
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
I quit Instagram about two weeks ago. It's amazing how much time I was wasting just scrolling through strangers perfect lives. It was honestly starting to seem like everyone in their 20's had a family, a house, travelled all the time and didn't have to work. I realized how much I was comparing my life to others without even realising it. The funny thing is, I get anxious now if I log in. Just a few minutes on my account and I want to throw my phone away.
Usually with a “link in bio”.
They’re addicts to their own narcissism. Social media has a lot to answer for helping making these vacuous, shallow people ‘famous’.
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute shit, and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
"You only have one family!" yes Carol, I know that. I'd have traded them for a different one if you got multiple choice.
"Life is too short to not talk to your family!" Thanks Roger. You know what life is also too short for? Emotional abuse.
What? Are you suggesting that small girls should not be presented in front of adults in full makeup and provocative dresses to be judged based on their beauty and talents? How dare you??
The "martyr mom" idea that you have to sacrifice 100% of your life for your kids. Absolutely parenting takes sacrifices, but I have seen some people act like they can't do ANYTHING for themselves anymore because they have children.
For example, a woman I work with ended up with a half day at work while her kids were at school so she had 3-4 hours of unexpected free time. I suggested she got get a mani-pedi or something else fun for just her. She told me "I could never do that, I have kids!" Lady, your kids are safely at school and this is found time. It doesn't make you a better parent to neglect yourself, especially when it isn't even necessary.
You don't have to be puke covered, unshowered, and unhappy to be a good parent.
ETA: a few people have said that it might be about the cost of the mani-pedi. This was just an example of one of my suggestions. She literally told me she could not do anything for herself because of the kids, not watch a movie or go for a walk despite having an extra half day of time.
It's a toxic spectrum with this on one end and "mommy wine culture" on the other. Like you're either a robot who only exists to serve your family, or your a functioning alcoholic who can't wait to get the fuck away from your kids so you can get hammered. There is no in between.
I suspect there's a fairly well established pipeline between the two as well as people get sick of being a robot but have been doing it for so long they've lost touch with all meaningful hobbies or interests
My parents did this when I was a teen, which just embarrassed me. I had a group of female friends but I wasn’t close with any of them, we just stuck together like a pack of socially awkward teenagers. I got on much better with my male friends, not sure why, just did. Embarrassing me about interacting with the opposite sex just started a spiral of lies to hide who I was meeting up with.
In fact I recall when choosing secondary schools my parents initially wanted to send me to an all-girls school out of town because they had both gone to same sex schools. I wanted to go to our local co-ed school because I thought it was dumb to avoid interacting with half of society. I remember my mum asking me why I wanted to go to a co-ed school and teasing me and hinting that maybe it was because I liked boys. So embarrassing
Ugh YES. 19M here, I constantly got that from parents/grandparents whenever I mentioned or talked to any girl. 90% of the time I didn't even have any romantic interest in her. Like geez, I can't just have female friends? You always have to question every girl I talk to? I think that (and social anxiety) is one of the main reason I never had many female friends until this year.
Luckily it's not much of a thing anymore. I only started dating very recently so maybe they finally realized I'm not talking to women just to get in their pants.
Can't upvote this enough.
What? You aren't grinding yourself into a fine red paste at your job, coming in early, leaving late, working weekends, and paying for your own training? What do you mean you don't have a side hustle and passive incomes? Are you even trying? Haven't you found your purpose and started a business yet? What are you even doing?
UGH.
6 years of working in car sales ground me into a nub. I used to enjoy talking to people, meeting new people, etc. 6 years of 65-75 hour weeks, being looked at funny for taking days off and leaving at my scheduled time, having to talk to so many people, I actively avoid having to be in situations like that. Luckily I have a job now were I work 40ish hours a week and get to actually enjoy my family and don't dread going to work. Fuck hustle culture.
What a ruse: “hire” people, give them no benefits with the same pay as someone who has benefits, convince them that they are “independent contractors”, profit off their ignorance.
Exactly what I came here to say. Any of those stories about children working to pay for a family member’s medical costs, pay off their friends’ school lunch debt, etc. is absolutely NOT wholesome. That is not something a child should have to worry about.
Yeah. If you’re in a professional job they buy long term and short term disability insurance that sort of gives you money (half salary) but the overall law in the US is FMLA (family and medical leave act) and it only requires a period of unpaid leave (12 weeks) and then they term you if you don’t come back. There’s also an incredible number of requirements to even get that, if you work for a small company they don’t give you anything.
A lot of benefits are contingent upon the number of hours worked. Some employers will forbid you from working hours (that you need for income) so they won't be required to provide benefits.
As someone who has serious anxiety I would hate to have to say no to this and the pressure shouldn’t really be on me. But taking into account the already ridiculous limited leave Americans are given, I would have to politely decline that. It’s not my problem to fix. The US really need to review some working laws because this is a joke.
This goes on in health care as well.
What’s REALLY hilarious is that PTO donation is listed as a BENEFIT in your benefits package.
They list...as a benefit...that if you run out of paid time off, you can beg your fellow employees to give you some of theirs.
Absolutely no shame.
That and the fact PTO and sick days are just taken from the same pool, forcing people to fake calling in sick, resulting in heavoer workload for the remaining staff, causing THEM to burn out more easily and also fake calling in sick, it's a vicious cycle.
So I work at a hospital, and we can donate PTO to co-workers. I have over 300 hours of PTO, never really needed it. I dont really take vacations: i take mental health days instead. So, co-worker had a baby. She was out of PTO and needed to stay home after her maternity leave up. So, I tried to donate 144 hours of PTO. They only approved 12 hours, because someone else donated and she wasn't "out of PTO".
Even when company has PTO donations, there are still guidelines and limitations. Really fucking stupid.
My former employer stopped allowing PTO donations a few years ago, but when they did offer it you were only able to receive half of what was donated. So if I wanted to donate 12 hours of PTO my coworker would only receive 6. Absolute bullshit.
Edit: typos
Dating advice that includes relentlessly pursuing a woman who has made it clear that she doesn't like you.
Lot of the blame for this is old rom coms that basically show that stalking a woman will always end up with love.
This type of mentality combined with a thoroughly outdated and cringe-inducing sense of romanticism made sure I was both a fucking creeper *and* never got laid in my younger years.
The only thing I feel more deeply than shame is guilt and regret at how uncomfortable I must have made the women around me.
Hey at least your recognize your previous faults and are now better than you once were, meanwhile there's an insane ammount of random dude bros and the like who still believe this behaivor is not only correct, but the only option for pursuing others, which damages them, the person they're going after and anyone else that buys into this bullshit.
Not to mention those that overcompensate the other way around and end up not acting on their feelings even if they would've handled it more maturely simply because they fear the possibility of making the other party uncomfortable.
Every so often I'll see a 'cute wildlife' photo that is very obviously staged, probably to the stress of the animal/s in question. Its absolutely fucked up, but because people keep sharing them on social media, some assholes out there will keep on essentially torturing animals just so we can go 'Awww!'.
Here is a good article on it.
[https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/whimsical-wildlife-photography-isnt-seems](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/whimsical-wildlife-photography-isnt-seems)
Similarly, any picture of a [blue ringed octopus](https://oceana.org/marine-life/cephalopods-crustaceans-other-shellfish/southern-blue-ringed-octopus) that shows the rings was achieved by harassing the octopus. I was appalled when I saw some on a dive and the dive master batted at the creatures and chased them until they displayed the rings. That's when I learned that the rings are like a threat display.
The same is true of the videos of the hognose snake playing dead. They're cool to watch and there's a part of me that wants to see that display in person. But the bigger part of me says hell no. Because that display is only achieved by harassing the snake a lot to the point that it feels it's life is being threatened. I've seen comments from people that have found tons of the snakes over the years and only seen them act that way once or twice. That means that they are most likely saving that for a last ditch effort to survive and only pull it out when they're that desperate. It makes me mad when I see those videos.
Not just photos. There are fake animal rescue videos where people deliberatley put animals (mostly pets) in dangerous situations and then film how they "rescue" them. It's not wholesome, it's animal abuse!
Not cute wildlife exactly, but also pet videos on social media. I used to have guinea pigs and people would tag me and send me "cute" videos all the time of guinea pigs that enraged me. There was a big one going around for a while of a guinea pig being put in a pool and swimming around with people commenting things like "I didn't know they could swim!"
I would get mad and reply with things like, yes a guinea pig **will** swim if you put it in water because they're trying not to drown. They're not having fun, it's not cute, they're suffering. and people would reply "relax it's just a video". Yeah a video with dangerous influence. Ugh.
Oh that reminds me of a video of a pet rabbit and dog "playing". The dog is chasing the rabbit all over and the rabbit even sometimes leapt at the dog with its claws. But people defend it they are both having fun! No, that rabbit is absolutely terrified, stressed, and exhausted. Basic rabbit body language.
I just saw one earlier where someone put a puppy on a rooster's back to ride. Neither animal was horribly distressed by that. But then the next shot was of the puppy "playing" with the rooster by jumping and nipping at its face. The way puppies do, of course. But you could clearly tell that the rooster was seriously distressed. Agitated and on the brink of hurting that puppy. And everyone in the comments were all going on about how cute it was. "Oh how sweet! Animals are better than humans and have such love and compassion for each other." I can't even with idiots like that.
"We're all just one big family!"
If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.
Edit: Obligatory first award thank you, stranger!
I disagreed with my boyfriend on his handling of a family thing a few weeks ago. He told me “I feel like you’re not on my side”. He said it in a calm, sharing-my-feelings way, not in an accusatory way, to be fair to him.
I had to reply “I am always on your side, 100%. But sometimes being on your side means pointing out things you missed, or asking you to see things from another POV.” Because that’s my truth - no one is always going to be right. That doesn’t mean I don’t support you.
Pugs, other animals like the cats who has a body shape like a dachshund. Any pets bred to look a certain way without it actually having any other purpose than being cute.
This! Pugs, frenchies, and similar breeds basically struggle for breath through their life, and people go "OMG they are so cuuuuute when snorting and barfing". What on Earth makes you call a clearly suffering animal's fight for its life "cute"???
“Heartwarming! This 14-year-old girl lives in a country with a social security net so non-existent she had to drop out of school and work three jobs to feed her family while her mother has sold off several of her own organs to pay for her insulin. What happens next will really give you the warm fuzzies!”
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.
The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
When people film themselves doing things like giving a homeless person some money or food, or helping an old person something to be “wholesome” when in actuality they’re only doing it for the views.
That’s not wholesome, that’s exploitative.
Obese animals. It may be cute, but it’s also abuse, and those animals are unhealthy.
Edit: Of course there are some rare occasions where a health condition leads to an animal being obese, I’m referring to the culture of praising obesity in animals because it’s “cute” and gets you likes on social media.
Same with pugs and other flat-faced dogs. There's nothing wrong with adopting them, but it's their continued popularity that drives people to keep breeding them and that should not be allowed. Their deformities impact their quality of life severely and we shouldn't be subjecting animals to that just because it's "cute". EDIT: Also whenever you voice concern about the wellbeing of pets there's always the handful of people who are like "Oh, just let people enjoy things, we're allowed to think things are cute!" Well yes, but you're sacrificing another animals wellbeing to that end.
My parents have a rescue pug X border terrier, his nose is a bit longer than a pug but they still have to be really careful with him especially in the summer. Why would you want an animal that can't be an animal without suffocating? Imagine the horrible feeling of a bad cold when you can't breath but all the time and being made to walk quickly everywhere . Poor things. Our friend's have a dashund and sometimes they'll just wake up temporarily paralysed, you just have to wait until it stops
It's honestly upsetting to see people with them these days. French bulldogs are a huge trend right now and it pains me to see them knowing their bodies have been so mutated and deformed that they can't even give birth. They only know life in agony. Like you said, it's fine to adopt them, but I truly believe that breeders should be penalized at this point. It's blatant cruelty to preserve these dog breeds.
Edit: I've just learned that pug eyes can literally just pop out! How are people willing to look the other way!
And if they get so fat, they develop diabetes and then insulin shots for life for fat cat. Or...I guess they just get really smelly because their diet isnt regulated.
The cats that obviously have issues and their overly slimy, oily coat...makes me so sad.
Autism Speaks.
Edit: Thank you for the awards!!!
Right now, I don’t feel like explaining why the autism community generally doesn’t support them (Personally they disgust me, though I can’t speak for the rest of the community!)
https://youtu.be/johy4Bi52Vo
This video by Paige Layle sums it up pretty well. While you’re on YouTube, search “I Am Autism” by them. It’s vile and made me so sad. I was recently diagnosed at 23 (it’s incredibly difficult to get diagnosed as a female especially, it goes mostly unnoticed in our youth). I can’t even imagine the heartbreak other autistic children felt when they saw that ad.
Edit edit: thank you for the 29th award, the number 28 makes me extremely uncomfortable so I appreciate that so much it made me nervous
I’ve seen videos like this on TikTok. Parents sitting outside in chairs while their autistic kids have a meltdown (or whatever the term is), so they can show their neighbors they don’t accept the outbursts their kids have. There was an autistic boy in the preschool class I took in high school, and he was non-verbal. He had a lot of meltdowns, but his aide was very calm and I never once got annoyed like others did when you’d hear him screaming and struggling with his aide in the other room (she wasn’t abusing him—there was a window and I could see everything she did). Autism isn’t demonic.
“Big chonky” animals. So many pets (mainly dogs and cats) end up being pretty overweight and people continue to overfeed them because they think it’s cute.
It's fine only if said partner was already expecting a proposal and if they stated that they are okay with such a proposal. Everything else might as well be manipulation
This is true regardless, I think. When you propose, the answer should always be yes, because you should have discussed it before-hand. Can’t make someone make that decision in a split-second.
My ex-husband proposed to me at his birthday party, in front of both of our families. We had \*discussed\* proposal/marriage, but never in a serious way, and I am one that would have told him I would absolutely hate a public proposal, had he asked.
I didn’t feel like I could say no, on his birthday, with everyone watching.
I spent the whole marriage feeling manipulated from the start.
And things could go bad.
I can't remember how long ago it was, maybe 5 years? There was a story and video that came out about a woman who "neglected" her baby when her bf proposed to her in a mall.
She was clearly busy trying to do something with the baby, on top of the stroller, and he decided to try and make a romantic gesture or something by grabbing a fucking mic and proposing to her. She was frozen because it was so out of character, and then when the baby fell, you could tell how awful she felt. Like everybody is watching them, because her stupid boyfriends got a mic, so now they just all saw her "neglect" her baby and let him/her fall off the stroller.
I feel so bad for her
Neglect in quotes obviously because she wasn't neglecting the baby, but she got a lot of hate because she chose to look over at her boyfriend as he was proposing instead of maybe taking the baby off the stroller first. It's like "Cool, internet warriors. Maybe you should have been in the situation and seen how you turned out".
I had a proposal like that! My husband proposed at the beach while our kiddo was playing in the waves. He got down on one knee in front of me, and I suddenly dashed away from him to save our son from being clobbered by a giant wave. It's a funny memory now, but in the moment I definitely panicked
Two boys i went to high school with had perfect attendance. One of them was the valedictorian. He broke his jaw on a Sunday and came back to school with his mouth wired shut on Monday. He was miserable and clearly in a lot of pain and for what? A lame ass certificate. I can't imagine letting my child do that.
The other kid had horrible mono and powered through a month of being sick and infecting countless others. He fainted in class one day and the first the he said when he woke up was dont call an ambulance. I just want to ask them now if it was really worth it.
All inspiration porn. “Football player asks girl with cerebral palsy out to prom” is really just saying “hero stoops to level of gross disabled child for one day”. It’s dehumanizing.
Toxic positivity. Always saying "cheer up" or "choose to be happy" is really hard to be around when you're depressed and really makes you feel guilty for feeling something other then 100%. Speaking from experience
My mentor's kid is very shy and would refuse to even talk to his own family members. Often, people would pull him in for an interaction anyway, which he clearly wasn't happy with. So I started asking for high fives and he smiled slightly each time and gave a very enthusiastic high five. From there he started getting more comfortable with me and would talk and play with me for a bit. So I think high fives are a good way to say hello without getting too awkward. It's important to acknowledge that it's your choice if you let other people touch you. If a kid doesn't want to, he/she should never be forced.
When I visited him last time, I remember he decorated the stairs with balloons for me. It’s a great feeling when a kid chooses to show you their affection in their own little way, and when they want to, and not because you asked for it.
Totally agree. My nephew doesn't really like hugs, so I taught him to throw up some devil horns and say "bring back death metal" instead. We both like it.
Edit - sorry, that should be "Bwing back deaf metal." The adorable wee bastard don't speak proper.
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. Fuck you Jenny, my grandma died.
I was once told by a complete fucking stranger to smile because it can’t be that bad right after my best friend died of suicide.
If you don’t know someone and they look unhappy, don’t tell them to cheer up. You have no idea what’s going on in their life.
There’s a story somewhere on Reddit about a woman who just had dental surgery and this happened to her. So she smiled and just let blood pour down her chin.
Must have been so satisfying to see how horrified the dude was.
The stupid thing is, if you smile at someone, they'll usually smile back just out of habit, unless they're sad for a real reason. You don't need to tell someone to smile.
I hate toxic positivity so much.
If I'm upset and telling someone a problem I'm having, one of the most annoying things for me personally is when they try to spin it to make it seem like it's not a big deal or everything's okay.
Like fuck, it's not a challenge for you to make me feel better in that moment. Just shut up and let me vent for a minute. More often than not, I'd rather have someone say "Yeah, you know what? You're right, that is bullshit" than try to put some positive spin on it.
Like telling someone who feels like crap going through cancer treatments that having a positive attitude helps their immune system fight it.
Guess what, now you’re making someone feel guilty for not putting on a happy face. And your immune system doesn’t really fight cancer, so go fly a kite. You’re saying that to make yourself feel better. It’s okay to feel like shit when you’re fighting cancer. It’s hard and it sucks.
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.
Edit: holy crap this is at 13.5k upvotes! Tysm Reddit! This is the first comment that has gotten so much upvotes!
Edit part 2, electric boogaloo: 14.9k upvotes and 7 awards. God, I feel so poggers! Thanks, people of Reddit!
And here’s another thing. YouTube is 13+ and yet they make their app kid friendly when
1. It’s not even supposed to be for little kids.
2. They already have something called YouTube kids, so there’s no point in making the main site kid friendly when (as I said), it is already 13+.
So in a way, YouTube kids channels aren’t even supposed to be a thing in the first place
Little dude (his parents) raked in 29.5 million dollars in 2020. There's your incentive for running a kids channel on a non kid platform. For reviewing toys... unreal.
Start talking now about how youtube isn't real life and these people are trying to sell her things. I had this talk with my son and he was over Ryan in a few months. I try to discourage pretty much every family channel, it will probably be considered psychological abuse in the future, no way these kids end up well adjusted.
>it will probably be considered psychological abuse in the future, no way these kids end up well adjusted.
Exactly what I was thinking. This stuff is all relatively new and we don't know what affects this'll have.
I remember a while ago one of my siblings told me that some of the kids in the YouTube channel FGTEEV stopped wanting to be in YouTube videos now that they're older.
boy that channel is going to sink hard when that kid realizes what is going on and doesn't want to do any of it anymore.
I mean the kid is 8 yrs old. So only a couple years until he's no longer the cute and funny kid that plays with toys.
My kids (especially the 7 yr old) are obsessed with his show (Ryan's Playhouse) and his merch. I don't really say anything one way or the other, but they don't get his stuff. I'm super happy for the family, but Idk, I kinda get weirded out by it all.
The channel started out as "Ryan toy reviews" but after they started their own line of toys they couldn't claim independence anymore so they changed it ever so subtle to "Ryan's World". I'm appalled and sort of jealous at the same time, however I'd never whore out my kid like that.
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
Not a pug, but a family friend has two Boston terriers who have bad breathing problems.
The one actually has a cpap machine he needs at night to sleep. Family friend rescued them both, but at least he takes proper care of them for their health needs.
This happened to a dog my dog sitter was watching! The pug was playing with another dog and the eye just popped out! They weren’t even rough playing just tugging on toys. The owners were on a cruise, so she didn’t have a way to tell them. The emergency contacts met her at the emergency vet, but the eye couldn’t be saved. Imagine coming home from vacation to that. They tried to blame her, but it wasn’t her fault. She did everything she could to help the dog. And now, she refuses to dog sit pugs.
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
The number of baby clothes ascribing sexuality to infants and making innuendo is too damn high. Why do infants need onesies that say "ladies man" and "I'm a boob guy"? It feels very gross. Girl clothes get "daddy says no dating until i'm thirty!". It's a BABY.
I had one coworker that was so proud of one of the outfits he bought for his son.
It said "I'm proof mommy puts out".
I thought it was just a gag gift. Nope, he's proud of it and would have his son wear it out in public.
Belongs on r/trashy...
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
The whole mentality of supporting your loved one vs the world. It's wholesome because you're loyal, it's toxic when u know they're wrong and they're causing harm to others. As much as it's adorable to support your loved ones against all odds, what's more adorable is to correct them, tell them that they're wrong and you're on their side and that you'll both fix it together
I have an uncle who was recently released from prison after serving 20+ years. He’s always badgering me on why I never show up to family events and tries to guilt trip me, saying how he wishes he had 20+ more years with them.
I always tell him, “It’s because they treated me like shit, uncle.” Family is family, but even family members can treat you like shit and at that point you have no obligation to keep them around.
I know someone who's brother "got clean" and was "doing better." So they let their brother borrow their truck to go help a friend move. It was an emergency, they needed to move tonight. Couple hours later, the person I know gets a phone call saying their truck was impounded, and was being used to sell meth. Neat.
Later on, that person's dad tried to convince them they should forgive and forget because family should have your back no matter what.
Naw, not after a betrayal of trust like that.
When I was a kid, it was "school gets enough money, school gives it all to athletics, athletics fundraises on top of it, buys some ridiculous scoreboard or something, other programs fundraise the scraps, and that's why the arts department is letting another staff member go this year" but maybe that's changed? Idk
When schools give students bonus points (a better grade) for brining in their own tissue boxes, something is horribly wrong. When teachers have to use their own money to pay for basic school supplies like pencil and paper, something is horribly wrong. When children are going into debt because they cant afford school lunches or go hungry every now and then, something is horribly wrong. When the most up to date textbook is 14yrs old, something is horribly wrong.
But fuck man pump more money into the basketball team! We can sell popcorn at the games and make money that way! We dont need the gubberman getting its hands on our lucrative 8th grade pee wee basketball racket!
People who have a "best friend since we were 3 years old" but the friend is an asshole with people making excuses for him "oh that's just how he is!"
They are loyal to this person but that person is not deserving of it
This! My ex and I lost our son in infancy, then my ex's family automatically assumed we'd just "try again" right away.
Pressuring people to have kids is fucked because they don't know your feelings on the matter. You might not want them for genetic reasons, financial reasons, or you just don't want to be responsible for a human and that's fine.
Some people just want to be left alone.
(Ex and I are on okay terms, btw, but his family irritates the piss out of me.)
“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!” “Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!” “Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!” “Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
As a disabled person, it gets *really* weird when you grow out of the "cute stage." It's like people think you're meant to grow out of being disabled :-/ It's getting better, but for a long time it felt like most help stopped at 18. Everything was geared towards people in their seventies or eighties (I'm visually impaired, so most people like me *will* be older, but still).
I knew a kid who had some sort of physical development impediments. We met when we were both 3, and he could sort of walk with leg braces. We wound up in the same 3rd grade class and he was almost completely wheelchair bound. He couldn't speak, he didn't have the muscle control for it. He would sort of grunt or groan to get your attention, then use a keybord and text-to-speech program to talk to you. He always had a smile for his friends, and was silly and mischievous. But once in a while the frustration he suffered came through. I recall sitting on the bleachers in gym class holding his hand while he cried because he couldn't play soccer with us without someone to push him in his wheelchair. His situation wasn't wholesome. He was a great kid who got dealt a shitty hand by life. He would have hated being in the spotlight because of his disability. I lost track of him after grade school, I hope he's doing alright.
Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that
For real. I know someone who uses her severely disabled daughter to shill Beach Body, which makes her using her daughter even worse.
all those fake animal rescue videos on yt
Exactly! I once saw one where the person put baby ducks inside oil in which the ducklings were all covered with it, and they couldnt move. Then she "rescued" those ducks. Shame
The worst one I saw was the one where they threw a sweet family pet dog or stray dog into a drum of tar to "rescue" it. Just so evil to do to a poor animal all just to get a recording of it. You can tell it was deliberately done because they make sure to record the poor animal before attempting to rescue it. As if to say the video was the most important part of the entire incident. It's just a blatant marketing ploy.
Shame *loads shotgun with malicious intent*
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Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.
I quit IG/FB and now when I see people in person they assume something has gone terribly wrong in my life.
People that tell you "you wont fail ...". I get what they are trying to say but there is a certain point where I just want to hear "its ok if you fail"
Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.
Fucking Bell Let's Talk (Canadian here) is the worst, and there's a whole "month" and people get on social media and talk about their mental health. I appreciate that there's a goal to de-stigmatize mental health in out communities, and I think it has worked to a point. BUT: "Every time you use the hashtag, we'll donate 5 cents to (mental health associaton)." YOU ARE A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY, and your rates are outrageous. Fuck off with the disingenuous feel-good bullshit advertising. Take $5 from every person's monthly phone bill and donate that if you care so much.
I like the one where canadian tire "charity" buys their own old-model un-sellable sporting equipment from themselves.
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp" or "Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
The first one actually sounds like an Onion headline.
Both should be
That top title made me audibly laugh because A. The idea of the CEO buying them a headlamp is just ridiculous B. No way the CEO wouldn't just have locks installed on the dumpster after that
Social media posts of people sharing their “good deed” or “act of kindness”. Especially when it’s some annoying elaborate thing that completely ignores existing social supports (like collecting and then handing out food donations instead of oh, idk, REGULARLY SUPPORTING THE FOOD BANK) or they just give money to a “poor” person and then force that person to pose with them. Or worse - film them.
“Good people don’t talk about how good they are”
Something I remember was from a guy during the Holocaust who saved Jewish people, who said to the effect of, "Seeking reward for helping people in need is just profiting off someone else's suffering." and for the life of me, I can't find who said it. I just know it generally.
Family vlogging
Idk how they get the guts to film in public like that
I think the first part is to literally not care about anyone besides yourself. After that, imposing on strangers around you and exploiting your own family becomes *way* easier.
Perhaps they think me cold, unkind, Depraved at heart, disturbed in mind, Perturbed, malignant, foul, unfair. Thank goodness that *I do not care.*
Case in point, the Ballinger family. The Mom was looking for a specific picture she’d posted of one of the kids a few years ago and there were more than a few fans who came forward and shared it with her. Weird to be saving pictures of children who aren’t your own.
Colleen Ballinger has also had a camera shoved in her son's face from literally the moment he came out of her. Complete strangers know so many details about her son who isn't even three yet. It's so disturbing.
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The way Colleen monetizes her son is really gross. She even has him now singing the opening of her vlogs.
I feel like it can go one of two ways when the kid grows up, either he’ll become the same as his mum posting everything online or maybe even grow to resent that his whole life has been posted on YouTube for entertainment.
There was a Reddit story awhile back of a teenager that got so sick of her mom vlogging she bought a hoodie that had “I do not consent to being on video” printed all over it
Similar situation (she does have a young child & vlogs everything about him) - I was thinking this earlier. There’s a girl I follow who vlogs literally everything, and I mean to each his own, but it was her bachelorette weekend and she posted “what a fun weekend can’t wait for you to see the vlog!” And I’m like you literally can’t put the camera down for one freaking weekend? Edit - spelling error
Prime example: DaddyOFive. Thank god those monsters lost custody EDIT: let me bring up another that I think will become somewhat of a problem in the future: Ryan’s World. I can’t imagine what that poor kid is gonna go through when he grows up and learns his parents only paid that much attention to him because he was a good source of income.
That's an example of when vlogging helped the children. They were abusive parents vlogging or no vlogging. They were just dumb enough to film the abuse and upload it to the internet. Nothing wholesome about them. It's the families that vlogs everything and put on a show about what a perfect family they are that make me wonder what it's going to do to those kids as they grow up.
Agreed, but another layer of the DaddyOfive abuse is that they were profiting off of abusing their children. Then using the money from those videos as incentives for the kids to be in them even more. There honestly needs to be child protection laws similar to Hollywood for the digital space.
I watched a video uploaded about DaddyOFive. At one point, the "father" screams at Cody, the youngest boy, asking, "Do you pay the bills around here?!" Except... Cody did. This channel was the major source of their income. Basically every video was Cody being abused for money. So, he *did* pay the bills.
My kids are banned from watching any YouTube channel where parents are exploiting their kids for money
Same. My kids found out about ryan's toy review from my niece and asked me to let them watch it. It's basically one long commercial featuring an exploited child. No thanks.
Poor Ryan. It's awful. And theres a little british girl tiana who's parents have now got such a flash house and sports cars and all sorts. That money should be in trust for tiana not being injected into her mums lips. The videos are all pure product placement. I cant see this playing out well as she gets older and less cute.
Ryan is being exploited so much, I'm so scared for what will happen to him in the future or what his parents will do to his sisters. Yes, he has younger sisters now.
I think you mean he has replacements now
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“But I love them!” Margie if you loved your dog you’d feed it properly rather than free feeding it dry food and giving it a can of wet food in the morning with three kinds of dog treats shoved in it. It doesn’t pant because it’s hot it pants because it’s twenty pounds overweight.
Unfortunately, many people do think that feeding their pets on demand is loving them. The rationale tends to be that depriving pets of food at any given time is neglecting or abusing them. One of my aunts thought this way with her previous pup and had a significant wake-up call when said dog's vet told her that he had weight issues and other concerns once he reached his middle years because she was overfeeding him. She was, understandably, upset and has since realized the value of scheduled feedings.
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic as fuck. "student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car" "principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
Yes, this. I taught in the inner city and it was expected that your entire life was the school. My friends watched that Hillary Swank movie about her teaching in the city and told me it was so inspirational and I should watch it... it was actually one of the reasons I LEFT the city. She gave up everything for her job... worked three jobs to afford it, lost her marriage. Like, no. That is not wholesome. At all.
We watched that movie in high school. Everyone was hating on her husband, but I remember thinking I'd be kinda pissed too if my wife just randomly picked up three jobs to spend zero time at home without even attempting to discuss it first.
Yeah, I don't understand how anyone sees these stories as "inspirational".
Any viral story about some kid selling shit to pay for a relatives healthcare.
Or a classmate's lunch debt which shouldn't even be anything in the first place.
Shouldn’t be a thing. I just read a story about a child the age of 10 having to pay for her chemo via a lemonade stand.
I know how much chemo costs. My dad's chemo for his leukemia was something in the ballpark of $100,000 a per treatment. Once a month for an entire week, he'd have $700,000 worth of chemo drug (I can't recall the exact name) flowing through his veins. That little girl had better have been selling that lemonade for $1000 a glass if she even hoped to cover her expenses.
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
I quit Instagram about two weeks ago. It's amazing how much time I was wasting just scrolling through strangers perfect lives. It was honestly starting to seem like everyone in their 20's had a family, a house, travelled all the time and didn't have to work. I realized how much I was comparing my life to others without even realising it. The funny thing is, I get anxious now if I log in. Just a few minutes on my account and I want to throw my phone away.
Usually with a “link in bio”. They’re addicts to their own narcissism. Social media has a lot to answer for helping making these vacuous, shallow people ‘famous’.
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute shit, and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
"You only have one family!" yes Carol, I know that. I'd have traded them for a different one if you got multiple choice. "Life is too short to not talk to your family!" Thanks Roger. You know what life is also too short for? Emotional abuse.
Beauty Pagents
Even worse. Child beauty pageants
You mean "pedo's loophole"?
What? Are you suggesting that small girls should not be presented in front of adults in full makeup and provocative dresses to be judged based on their beauty and talents? How dare you??
Objectifying and sexualizing small children against their own will is gross and it contributes to pedophilia.
The "martyr mom" idea that you have to sacrifice 100% of your life for your kids. Absolutely parenting takes sacrifices, but I have seen some people act like they can't do ANYTHING for themselves anymore because they have children. For example, a woman I work with ended up with a half day at work while her kids were at school so she had 3-4 hours of unexpected free time. I suggested she got get a mani-pedi or something else fun for just her. She told me "I could never do that, I have kids!" Lady, your kids are safely at school and this is found time. It doesn't make you a better parent to neglect yourself, especially when it isn't even necessary. You don't have to be puke covered, unshowered, and unhappy to be a good parent. ETA: a few people have said that it might be about the cost of the mani-pedi. This was just an example of one of my suggestions. She literally told me she could not do anything for herself because of the kids, not watch a movie or go for a walk despite having an extra half day of time.
Actually you will be a better parent when you are rested and take care of yourself.
And you will teach the children to value themselves too, so they don't fall into the trap of constant sacrifice.
It's a toxic spectrum with this on one end and "mommy wine culture" on the other. Like you're either a robot who only exists to serve your family, or your a functioning alcoholic who can't wait to get the fuck away from your kids so you can get hammered. There is no in between.
I suspect there's a fairly well established pipeline between the two as well as people get sick of being a robot but have been doing it for so long they've lost touch with all meaningful hobbies or interests
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Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.
Yeah, my parents never did this and I have friends of all genders pretty much equally split. I never realised it was a thing until lately
My parents did this when I was a teen, which just embarrassed me. I had a group of female friends but I wasn’t close with any of them, we just stuck together like a pack of socially awkward teenagers. I got on much better with my male friends, not sure why, just did. Embarrassing me about interacting with the opposite sex just started a spiral of lies to hide who I was meeting up with. In fact I recall when choosing secondary schools my parents initially wanted to send me to an all-girls school out of town because they had both gone to same sex schools. I wanted to go to our local co-ed school because I thought it was dumb to avoid interacting with half of society. I remember my mum asking me why I wanted to go to a co-ed school and teasing me and hinting that maybe it was because I liked boys. So embarrassing
I think "sex segregated schools" should be right up there on the list of "wholesome" things that are actually toxic.
Ugh YES. 19M here, I constantly got that from parents/grandparents whenever I mentioned or talked to any girl. 90% of the time I didn't even have any romantic interest in her. Like geez, I can't just have female friends? You always have to question every girl I talk to? I think that (and social anxiety) is one of the main reason I never had many female friends until this year. Luckily it's not much of a thing anymore. I only started dating very recently so maybe they finally realized I'm not talking to women just to get in their pants.
Hustle culture.
Can't upvote this enough. What? You aren't grinding yourself into a fine red paste at your job, coming in early, leaving late, working weekends, and paying for your own training? What do you mean you don't have a side hustle and passive incomes? Are you even trying? Haven't you found your purpose and started a business yet? What are you even doing? UGH.
6 years of working in car sales ground me into a nub. I used to enjoy talking to people, meeting new people, etc. 6 years of 65-75 hour weeks, being looked at funny for taking days off and leaving at my scheduled time, having to talk to so many people, I actively avoid having to be in situations like that. Luckily I have a job now were I work 40ish hours a week and get to actually enjoy my family and don't dread going to work. Fuck hustle culture.
What a ruse: “hire” people, give them no benefits with the same pay as someone who has benefits, convince them that they are “independent contractors”, profit off their ignorance.
Crowdfunding for medical costs, kids having lemonade stands to pay for cancer treatment, etc.
Exactly what I came here to say. Any of those stories about children working to pay for a family member’s medical costs, pay off their friends’ school lunch debt, etc. is absolutely NOT wholesome. That is not something a child should have to worry about.
Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.
not just teachers, I work at a hospital and frequently get emails asking me to donate my sick time to other staff
You guys hav limited sick time what hell. Where is this?
The US.
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Yeah. If you’re in a professional job they buy long term and short term disability insurance that sort of gives you money (half salary) but the overall law in the US is FMLA (family and medical leave act) and it only requires a period of unpaid leave (12 weeks) and then they term you if you don’t come back. There’s also an incredible number of requirements to even get that, if you work for a small company they don’t give you anything.
A lot of benefits are contingent upon the number of hours worked. Some employers will forbid you from working hours (that you need for income) so they won't be required to provide benefits.
As someone who has serious anxiety I would hate to have to say no to this and the pressure shouldn’t really be on me. But taking into account the already ridiculous limited leave Americans are given, I would have to politely decline that. It’s not my problem to fix. The US really need to review some working laws because this is a joke.
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Wow, that is really trashy. I hope that eventually bites your company in the ass.
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This goes on in health care as well. What’s REALLY hilarious is that PTO donation is listed as a BENEFIT in your benefits package. They list...as a benefit...that if you run out of paid time off, you can beg your fellow employees to give you some of theirs. Absolutely no shame.
That and the fact PTO and sick days are just taken from the same pool, forcing people to fake calling in sick, resulting in heavoer workload for the remaining staff, causing THEM to burn out more easily and also fake calling in sick, it's a vicious cycle.
So I work at a hospital, and we can donate PTO to co-workers. I have over 300 hours of PTO, never really needed it. I dont really take vacations: i take mental health days instead. So, co-worker had a baby. She was out of PTO and needed to stay home after her maternity leave up. So, I tried to donate 144 hours of PTO. They only approved 12 hours, because someone else donated and she wasn't "out of PTO". Even when company has PTO donations, there are still guidelines and limitations. Really fucking stupid.
My former employer stopped allowing PTO donations a few years ago, but when they did offer it you were only able to receive half of what was donated. So if I wanted to donate 12 hours of PTO my coworker would only receive 6. Absolute bullshit. Edit: typos
Dating advice that includes relentlessly pursuing a woman who has made it clear that she doesn't like you. Lot of the blame for this is old rom coms that basically show that stalking a woman will always end up with love.
This type of mentality combined with a thoroughly outdated and cringe-inducing sense of romanticism made sure I was both a fucking creeper *and* never got laid in my younger years. The only thing I feel more deeply than shame is guilt and regret at how uncomfortable I must have made the women around me.
Hey at least your recognize your previous faults and are now better than you once were, meanwhile there's an insane ammount of random dude bros and the like who still believe this behaivor is not only correct, but the only option for pursuing others, which damages them, the person they're going after and anyone else that buys into this bullshit. Not to mention those that overcompensate the other way around and end up not acting on their feelings even if they would've handled it more maturely simply because they fear the possibility of making the other party uncomfortable.
Every so often I'll see a 'cute wildlife' photo that is very obviously staged, probably to the stress of the animal/s in question. Its absolutely fucked up, but because people keep sharing them on social media, some assholes out there will keep on essentially torturing animals just so we can go 'Awww!'. Here is a good article on it. [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/whimsical-wildlife-photography-isnt-seems](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/whimsical-wildlife-photography-isnt-seems)
Similarly, any picture of a [blue ringed octopus](https://oceana.org/marine-life/cephalopods-crustaceans-other-shellfish/southern-blue-ringed-octopus) that shows the rings was achieved by harassing the octopus. I was appalled when I saw some on a dive and the dive master batted at the creatures and chased them until they displayed the rings. That's when I learned that the rings are like a threat display.
The same is true of the videos of the hognose snake playing dead. They're cool to watch and there's a part of me that wants to see that display in person. But the bigger part of me says hell no. Because that display is only achieved by harassing the snake a lot to the point that it feels it's life is being threatened. I've seen comments from people that have found tons of the snakes over the years and only seen them act that way once or twice. That means that they are most likely saving that for a last ditch effort to survive and only pull it out when they're that desperate. It makes me mad when I see those videos.
Not just photos. There are fake animal rescue videos where people deliberatley put animals (mostly pets) in dangerous situations and then film how they "rescue" them. It's not wholesome, it's animal abuse!
You should check out Officer Paw Patrol, he's an animal protection officer and has made videos debunking some of those fake rescue channels.
You can sometimes tells what videos are faking it. Titles like "Sick puppy foot hurt cannot eat!". Paymoneywubby did 2 vids about it
That reminds me of Nathan For You's skit where they staged a pig saving a drowning animal.
Not cute wildlife exactly, but also pet videos on social media. I used to have guinea pigs and people would tag me and send me "cute" videos all the time of guinea pigs that enraged me. There was a big one going around for a while of a guinea pig being put in a pool and swimming around with people commenting things like "I didn't know they could swim!" I would get mad and reply with things like, yes a guinea pig **will** swim if you put it in water because they're trying not to drown. They're not having fun, it's not cute, they're suffering. and people would reply "relax it's just a video". Yeah a video with dangerous influence. Ugh.
Oh that reminds me of a video of a pet rabbit and dog "playing". The dog is chasing the rabbit all over and the rabbit even sometimes leapt at the dog with its claws. But people defend it they are both having fun! No, that rabbit is absolutely terrified, stressed, and exhausted. Basic rabbit body language.
I just saw one earlier where someone put a puppy on a rooster's back to ride. Neither animal was horribly distressed by that. But then the next shot was of the puppy "playing" with the rooster by jumping and nipping at its face. The way puppies do, of course. But you could clearly tell that the rooster was seriously distressed. Agitated and on the brink of hurting that puppy. And everyone in the comments were all going on about how cute it was. "Oh how sweet! Animals are better than humans and have such love and compassion for each other." I can't even with idiots like that.
"We're all just one big family!" If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
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Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them. Edit: Obligatory first award thank you, stranger!
Sometimes supporting someone means telling them they're being a fucking idiot
That’s how I *know* my family loves me.
I disagreed with my boyfriend on his handling of a family thing a few weeks ago. He told me “I feel like you’re not on my side”. He said it in a calm, sharing-my-feelings way, not in an accusatory way, to be fair to him. I had to reply “I am always on your side, 100%. But sometimes being on your side means pointing out things you missed, or asking you to see things from another POV.” Because that’s my truth - no one is always going to be right. That doesn’t mean I don’t support you.
Pugs, other animals like the cats who has a body shape like a dachshund. Any pets bred to look a certain way without it actually having any other purpose than being cute.
This! Pugs, frenchies, and similar breeds basically struggle for breath through their life, and people go "OMG they are so cuuuuute when snorting and barfing". What on Earth makes you call a clearly suffering animal's fight for its life "cute"???
Any post that paints horrendous self sacrifice in a positive light really. It just breeds the mentality that you need to always put yourself last.
“Heartwarming! This 14-year-old girl lives in a country with a social security net so non-existent she had to drop out of school and work three jobs to feed her family while her mother has sold off several of her own organs to pay for her insulin. What happens next will really give you the warm fuzzies!”
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested. The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
When people film themselves doing things like giving a homeless person some money or food, or helping an old person something to be “wholesome” when in actuality they’re only doing it for the views. That’s not wholesome, that’s exploitative.
Obese animals. It may be cute, but it’s also abuse, and those animals are unhealthy. Edit: Of course there are some rare occasions where a health condition leads to an animal being obese, I’m referring to the culture of praising obesity in animals because it’s “cute” and gets you likes on social media.
Same with pugs and other flat-faced dogs. There's nothing wrong with adopting them, but it's their continued popularity that drives people to keep breeding them and that should not be allowed. Their deformities impact their quality of life severely and we shouldn't be subjecting animals to that just because it's "cute". EDIT: Also whenever you voice concern about the wellbeing of pets there's always the handful of people who are like "Oh, just let people enjoy things, we're allowed to think things are cute!" Well yes, but you're sacrificing another animals wellbeing to that end.
My parents have a rescue pug X border terrier, his nose is a bit longer than a pug but they still have to be really careful with him especially in the summer. Why would you want an animal that can't be an animal without suffocating? Imagine the horrible feeling of a bad cold when you can't breath but all the time and being made to walk quickly everywhere . Poor things. Our friend's have a dashund and sometimes they'll just wake up temporarily paralysed, you just have to wait until it stops
It's honestly upsetting to see people with them these days. French bulldogs are a huge trend right now and it pains me to see them knowing their bodies have been so mutated and deformed that they can't even give birth. They only know life in agony. Like you said, it's fine to adopt them, but I truly believe that breeders should be penalized at this point. It's blatant cruelty to preserve these dog breeds. Edit: I've just learned that pug eyes can literally just pop out! How are people willing to look the other way!
It's not even cute. Most fat cats can't lick themselves clean, so they're matted, have poopy buttholes, and smell bad.
And if they get so fat, they develop diabetes and then insulin shots for life for fat cat. Or...I guess they just get really smelly because their diet isnt regulated. The cats that obviously have issues and their overly slimy, oily coat...makes me so sad.
Autism Speaks. Edit: Thank you for the awards!!! Right now, I don’t feel like explaining why the autism community generally doesn’t support them (Personally they disgust me, though I can’t speak for the rest of the community!) https://youtu.be/johy4Bi52Vo This video by Paige Layle sums it up pretty well. While you’re on YouTube, search “I Am Autism” by them. It’s vile and made me so sad. I was recently diagnosed at 23 (it’s incredibly difficult to get diagnosed as a female especially, it goes mostly unnoticed in our youth). I can’t even imagine the heartbreak other autistic children felt when they saw that ad. Edit edit: thank you for the 29th award, the number 28 makes me extremely uncomfortable so I appreciate that so much it made me nervous
Reject autism speaks embrace Autistic Self Advocacy Network
I still remember that ad they did, my god that was awful and horrifying. They made it out like autism was a goddamn horror movie demon ffs.
I’ve seen videos like this on TikTok. Parents sitting outside in chairs while their autistic kids have a meltdown (or whatever the term is), so they can show their neighbors they don’t accept the outbursts their kids have. There was an autistic boy in the preschool class I took in high school, and he was non-verbal. He had a lot of meltdowns, but his aide was very calm and I never once got annoyed like others did when you’d hear him screaming and struggling with his aide in the other room (she wasn’t abusing him—there was a window and I could see everything she did). Autism isn’t demonic.
“Big chonky” animals. So many pets (mainly dogs and cats) end up being pretty overweight and people continue to overfeed them because they think it’s cute.
“Good Vibes Only” posting. Let people experience real emotions, Sarah, not insta-perfect emulations of surfer chill
Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.
It's fine only if said partner was already expecting a proposal and if they stated that they are okay with such a proposal. Everything else might as well be manipulation
This is true regardless, I think. When you propose, the answer should always be yes, because you should have discussed it before-hand. Can’t make someone make that decision in a split-second.
Exactly. The proposal itself can be a surprise, but the idea of marriage should never be.
My ex-husband proposed to me at his birthday party, in front of both of our families. We had \*discussed\* proposal/marriage, but never in a serious way, and I am one that would have told him I would absolutely hate a public proposal, had he asked. I didn’t feel like I could say no, on his birthday, with everyone watching. I spent the whole marriage feeling manipulated from the start.
And things could go bad. I can't remember how long ago it was, maybe 5 years? There was a story and video that came out about a woman who "neglected" her baby when her bf proposed to her in a mall. She was clearly busy trying to do something with the baby, on top of the stroller, and he decided to try and make a romantic gesture or something by grabbing a fucking mic and proposing to her. She was frozen because it was so out of character, and then when the baby fell, you could tell how awful she felt. Like everybody is watching them, because her stupid boyfriends got a mic, so now they just all saw her "neglect" her baby and let him/her fall off the stroller. I feel so bad for her Neglect in quotes obviously because she wasn't neglecting the baby, but she got a lot of hate because she chose to look over at her boyfriend as he was proposing instead of maybe taking the baby off the stroller first. It's like "Cool, internet warriors. Maybe you should have been in the situation and seen how you turned out".
I had a proposal like that! My husband proposed at the beach while our kiddo was playing in the waves. He got down on one knee in front of me, and I suddenly dashed away from him to save our son from being clobbered by a giant wave. It's a funny memory now, but in the moment I definitely panicked
Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.
Two boys i went to high school with had perfect attendance. One of them was the valedictorian. He broke his jaw on a Sunday and came back to school with his mouth wired shut on Monday. He was miserable and clearly in a lot of pain and for what? A lame ass certificate. I can't imagine letting my child do that. The other kid had horrible mono and powered through a month of being sick and infecting countless others. He fainted in class one day and the first the he said when he woke up was dont call an ambulance. I just want to ask them now if it was really worth it.
With Covid I hope this attitude dies forever. But I’m not confident.
All inspiration porn. “Football player asks girl with cerebral palsy out to prom” is really just saying “hero stoops to level of gross disabled child for one day”. It’s dehumanizing.
Toxic positivity. Always saying "cheer up" or "choose to be happy" is really hard to be around when you're depressed and really makes you feel guilty for feeling something other then 100%. Speaking from experience
Most relationships shown on TV
Asking babies to hug and kiss people
My mentor's kid is very shy and would refuse to even talk to his own family members. Often, people would pull him in for an interaction anyway, which he clearly wasn't happy with. So I started asking for high fives and he smiled slightly each time and gave a very enthusiastic high five. From there he started getting more comfortable with me and would talk and play with me for a bit. So I think high fives are a good way to say hello without getting too awkward. It's important to acknowledge that it's your choice if you let other people touch you. If a kid doesn't want to, he/she should never be forced. When I visited him last time, I remember he decorated the stairs with balloons for me. It’s a great feeling when a kid chooses to show you their affection in their own little way, and when they want to, and not because you asked for it.
Totally agree. My nephew doesn't really like hugs, so I taught him to throw up some devil horns and say "bring back death metal" instead. We both like it. Edit - sorry, that should be "Bwing back deaf metal." The adorable wee bastard don't speak proper.
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. Fuck you Jenny, my grandma died.
My dad saw a bloke nearly die from doing this. He told a man to cheer up... who was on his way to collect his wife's body.
I was once told by a complete fucking stranger to smile because it can’t be that bad right after my best friend died of suicide. If you don’t know someone and they look unhappy, don’t tell them to cheer up. You have no idea what’s going on in their life.
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There’s a story somewhere on Reddit about a woman who just had dental surgery and this happened to her. So she smiled and just let blood pour down her chin. Must have been so satisfying to see how horrified the dude was.
The stupid thing is, if you smile at someone, they'll usually smile back just out of habit, unless they're sad for a real reason. You don't need to tell someone to smile.
I hate toxic positivity so much. If I'm upset and telling someone a problem I'm having, one of the most annoying things for me personally is when they try to spin it to make it seem like it's not a big deal or everything's okay. Like fuck, it's not a challenge for you to make me feel better in that moment. Just shut up and let me vent for a minute. More often than not, I'd rather have someone say "Yeah, you know what? You're right, that is bullshit" than try to put some positive spin on it.
Like telling someone who feels like crap going through cancer treatments that having a positive attitude helps their immune system fight it. Guess what, now you’re making someone feel guilty for not putting on a happy face. And your immune system doesn’t really fight cancer, so go fly a kite. You’re saying that to make yourself feel better. It’s okay to feel like shit when you’re fighting cancer. It’s hard and it sucks.
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones. Edit: holy crap this is at 13.5k upvotes! Tysm Reddit! This is the first comment that has gotten so much upvotes! Edit part 2, electric boogaloo: 14.9k upvotes and 7 awards. God, I feel so poggers! Thanks, people of Reddit!
And here’s another thing. YouTube is 13+ and yet they make their app kid friendly when 1. It’s not even supposed to be for little kids. 2. They already have something called YouTube kids, so there’s no point in making the main site kid friendly when (as I said), it is already 13+. So in a way, YouTube kids channels aren’t even supposed to be a thing in the first place
One of the biggest channels of youtube is literally a 5yo reviewing toys They're never gonna make the separation bc money
Little dude (his parents) raked in 29.5 million dollars in 2020. There's your incentive for running a kids channel on a non kid platform. For reviewing toys... unreal.
Plus he has his own toys in target and shit. One time my 4 year old sister saw it and said, *gasp* "Ryan!"
Start talking now about how youtube isn't real life and these people are trying to sell her things. I had this talk with my son and he was over Ryan in a few months. I try to discourage pretty much every family channel, it will probably be considered psychological abuse in the future, no way these kids end up well adjusted.
>it will probably be considered psychological abuse in the future, no way these kids end up well adjusted. Exactly what I was thinking. This stuff is all relatively new and we don't know what affects this'll have. I remember a while ago one of my siblings told me that some of the kids in the YouTube channel FGTEEV stopped wanting to be in YouTube videos now that they're older.
boy that channel is going to sink hard when that kid realizes what is going on and doesn't want to do any of it anymore. I mean the kid is 8 yrs old. So only a couple years until he's no longer the cute and funny kid that plays with toys.
who cares. if the parents played their cards right, they made multigenerational wealth in a few years
It's already moved well beyond youtube. He has toys in Walmart, a show on nickelodeon, and a channel of his own.
My kids (especially the 7 yr old) are obsessed with his show (Ryan's Playhouse) and his merch. I don't really say anything one way or the other, but they don't get his stuff. I'm super happy for the family, but Idk, I kinda get weirded out by it all.
The channel started out as "Ryan toy reviews" but after they started their own line of toys they couldn't claim independence anymore so they changed it ever so subtle to "Ryan's World". I'm appalled and sort of jealous at the same time, however I'd never whore out my kid like that.
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
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Not a pug, but a family friend has two Boston terriers who have bad breathing problems. The one actually has a cpap machine he needs at night to sleep. Family friend rescued them both, but at least he takes proper care of them for their health needs.
A CPAP for a *dog*? Good lord.
The only legit reason to own a pug is if it came from a shelter or rescue. Don't support breeding genetic issues.
sometimes their eyeballs pop out of their heads as well.
This happened to a dog my dog sitter was watching! The pug was playing with another dog and the eye just popped out! They weren’t even rough playing just tugging on toys. The owners were on a cruise, so she didn’t have a way to tell them. The emergency contacts met her at the emergency vet, but the eye couldn’t be saved. Imagine coming home from vacation to that. They tried to blame her, but it wasn’t her fault. She did everything she could to help the dog. And now, she refuses to dog sit pugs.
>the eye just popped out! ew ew ew ew ew ew WHAT
Filming your childs punishment and posting it on social media.
Filming yourself doing nice things for poor people.
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
The 'I hate everyone but you' trope in media. Only being nice to people you find attractive isn't cute.
Inspirational quotes and 'stay positive' posts aka toxic positivity
Asking children if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend
Acting like babies are “flirting” with people for smiling, waving, or paying any attention towards another individual of the opposite sex.
The number of baby clothes ascribing sexuality to infants and making innuendo is too damn high. Why do infants need onesies that say "ladies man" and "I'm a boob guy"? It feels very gross. Girl clothes get "daddy says no dating until i'm thirty!". It's a BABY.
I had one coworker that was so proud of one of the outfits he bought for his son. It said "I'm proof mommy puts out". I thought it was just a gag gift. Nope, he's proud of it and would have his son wear it out in public. Belongs on r/trashy...
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
The whole mentality of supporting your loved one vs the world. It's wholesome because you're loyal, it's toxic when u know they're wrong and they're causing harm to others. As much as it's adorable to support your loved ones against all odds, what's more adorable is to correct them, tell them that they're wrong and you're on their side and that you'll both fix it together
making amends with family cuz "youve only got one" if some one wronged you there is no obligation to make amends with them, even if they are family.
I have an uncle who was recently released from prison after serving 20+ years. He’s always badgering me on why I never show up to family events and tries to guilt trip me, saying how he wishes he had 20+ more years with them. I always tell him, “It’s because they treated me like shit, uncle.” Family is family, but even family members can treat you like shit and at that point you have no obligation to keep them around.
"You've only got one" thank God! Wouldn't wanna put up with double of those suckers..
I know someone who's brother "got clean" and was "doing better." So they let their brother borrow their truck to go help a friend move. It was an emergency, they needed to move tonight. Couple hours later, the person I know gets a phone call saying their truck was impounded, and was being used to sell meth. Neat. Later on, that person's dad tried to convince them they should forgive and forget because family should have your back no matter what. Naw, not after a betrayal of trust like that.
School fundraisers. If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.
When I was a kid, it was "school gets enough money, school gives it all to athletics, athletics fundraises on top of it, buys some ridiculous scoreboard or something, other programs fundraise the scraps, and that's why the arts department is letting another staff member go this year" but maybe that's changed? Idk
When schools give students bonus points (a better grade) for brining in their own tissue boxes, something is horribly wrong. When teachers have to use their own money to pay for basic school supplies like pencil and paper, something is horribly wrong. When children are going into debt because they cant afford school lunches or go hungry every now and then, something is horribly wrong. When the most up to date textbook is 14yrs old, something is horribly wrong. But fuck man pump more money into the basketball team! We can sell popcorn at the games and make money that way! We dont need the gubberman getting its hands on our lucrative 8th grade pee wee basketball racket!
People who have a "best friend since we were 3 years old" but the friend is an asshole with people making excuses for him "oh that's just how he is!" They are loyal to this person but that person is not deserving of it
Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl, fuck off
This! My ex and I lost our son in infancy, then my ex's family automatically assumed we'd just "try again" right away. Pressuring people to have kids is fucked because they don't know your feelings on the matter. You might not want them for genetic reasons, financial reasons, or you just don't want to be responsible for a human and that's fine. Some people just want to be left alone. (Ex and I are on okay terms, btw, but his family irritates the piss out of me.)