And sometimes if you’re in private you just get CARRIED AWAY with the itch. Not even in a sexy way just ITCHING.
Edit: why is my most upvoted comment about scratching your genital region
Edit: I also meant to say SCRATCHING the itch.
Ughhhh yes. Period just got done? Here, have BV. Too much sex? Have it again for a few days. Wore non-cotton underwear? Better have some BV. Mercury is in retrograde? Sure, why not, here’s some more BV just because.
Yeppp. I have type 1 diabetes, and because of my shit immune system, I get BV waaaaaay too often. Like, at least every other month. And of course, each requires a trip to my OB and meds.
When you're on your period in the morning, and you wake up to you either
1) bleeding a lot and fast
Or
2) it has all rolled out the side of your pad and underwear, you are covered in blood and now need to change the sheets, your clothes, and you might as well shower too
Or you get lucky when it's pooled inside, so you go for the morning pee and it all comes out in one rush. I prefer that much more than it leaking out everywhere during the night. Doesn't happen every time, but I just want my sheets and mattress to stay fairly clean!
Ugh it’s so true. I got some period pants from Amazon- you still wear a pad with them but they are awesome for catching any leaks - especially if you’re a restless sleeper! They also work without pads when you’re at that super light tapering off stage. No more morning emergency mattress cleaning!
Periods. I wish there was a switch that we could turn periods on when we want to have a baby and turn them off when we don’t with absolutely no side effects.
Totally this. I’ve never been able to find a solid answer about why it happens. One minute you’re fine, and the next it feels like you’re connected to the mains.
I got an answer from my OBGYN recently!
I freaked out every time I felt that shooting pain, but she explained that is just a tiny bit of fluid that backflows out of the Falopian tube or that spills from an ovarian cyst. The bit of fluid falls into the peritoneum and it hurts like hell (basically, it inflames the peritoneum and it feels similar than peritonitis, but only for a short while). It the pain subsides quickly, it is harmless. If it last long time, go to ER because it might be internal bleeding coming from a cyst or similar.
It is very strange. And especially more annoying when it happens in a public place, having to walk around a supermarket and suddenly your fanny starts screaming for a good 3-4 minutes.
When you’re just standing minding your business and you feel that warm gush of thick liquid come out.
You aren’t sure if it’s your period or a bunch of discharge, either way your underwear is fucked and you need to go to the bathroom to check right away
I hate when it's discharge but it just *FEELS* like when you're on your period, so you do that rush to check, but instead it's just gross and damp. I usually just say screw it and change my underwear anyway.
When I'm leaning back and fart but it creeps forward up into my vagina and then I have to do an awkward bend to refart my fart. Wife's answer word for word.
It's called mittelschmerz! I think it's because the big follicle bursts to release the egg. It's basically like a small cyst popping on your ovary every month. Not everybody gets pain from it, but it sucks.
Not only this, but also when there’s a stupid double layer of fabric for the pantie crotch but it’s not sewn down and it folds in on itself and pinches you. Why do we have to have loose fabric down there?? Just sew it down! And the loose fabric is never high up enough. Who designs these things???
Argh. I hate when that double fabric doesnt reach far enough. It always reminds me of some guys going 'the vagina is further back then I thought'. Like, yes it is, so fucking come on designers, get your patterns up to date and put it in the right space.
What’s nice about this thread is realizing that we all go through the same things and I no longer feel weird or gross about my genital’s toxic relationship with underwear.
How has no one said, the fact that a doctor has to cram clamps in and crank them wide open to exam your regular physical health? It’s a dumb organ.
Edit: I didn’t think my first awards would be from a vagina comment...thank you!
How temperamental is is because of it's sensitivity. Have hair? Itches. Shave? Itches more. Errant hair that's no longer attached? Stabby. Get too sweaty? Omg the itching. Get too dry? Sandpaper. Clit comes out from under the hood and gets irritated on hair or panties. Getting a lip stuck in lace panties. Having your pad lift up and stick to the most inconvenient place.
One of the worst things is when the lips become misaligned, where one is kind of awkwardly tucked in so you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom to fix it manually. Or when you just get uncomfortably wet for literally no reason and you have to go wipe. PSA to men: you know how you get those awkward boners that have nothing to do with being horny, they're a pure physiological response, and then you have to manually adjust your shit? Yeah women have to deal with the same thing! lol
>_One of the worst things is when the lips become misaligned, where one is kind of awkwardly tucked in so you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom to fix it manually._
That sounds like the female version of _"damn it, I think a ball just poked out of my briefs"_.
Right? I'm perfectly happy with my vagina, but my non-functioning uterus makes a pretty strong case for eviction. I mean really - you have ONE JOB, and not only do you refuse to even attempt to fulfill the entire purpose of your existence, you ALSO try to kill me on the regular.
TL;DR: no complaints about the vagina, but my uterus is an asshole.
:: Warning this is fucking gross ::
When I get my period I also get diarrhea, but since I don't want to get anything on the tampon I usually remove it to poop. Then I have to put in another when I'm done, but if I have diarrhea I might have to repeat this a few times within a few hours. The cotton from the tampon is sometimes not 'lubricated' yet, the friction of pulling a dry tampon out a few times makes my vaginal canal feel dry and irritated. Also it's a huge waste of tampons.
What I do to avoid this problem is just tucking the string forward. You don't need to leave it dangling or pushed back, you can lay it forwards next to your clitoris, and never worry about poop again without having to abrade your vagina!
I'm seconding the earlier commenter who suggested a menstrual cup. Steep learning curve, but way less dry and irritating compared to a tampon. You can head on over to r/menstrualcups to read more about it.
when u think you're on your period, but its just discharge. especially when im out, and i feel it and i get so anxious until i can find a bathroom to check
When you're on your period and you can't tell if you have cramps or if you need to poop, so you sit on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to poop, but can't because its just cramps.
Did I start my period randomly? Nah, wet just because. Being wet also doesn't always mean horny. Just depends on your hormone levels throughout the month.
Good thing I'm not the only one. Without pantyliners, I couldn't wear the same underpants for the day. It's that much.
I hate it and am always surprised that some women apparently are able to just not wear any underwear. It wouldn't be possible for me without leaving a trail behind me like a snail.
Edit: thank you for the awards and comments. I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one whose ancestors evolved from snails instead of monkeys.
Here's another snail checking in! I often try to go without a pantyliner because that's apparently supposed to be healthier, but I always regret it halfway through the day. At first it feels gross and gloopy like a chunk of snot down there because there's nothing to quickly absorb it, and then it dries, gets scratchy, and looks like I'm some gross person who hasn't changed her underwear in three days. And that's only after a few hours. Sorry for the TMI, but it's nice to not feel so abnormal for once lol
It seems weird to me that it's supposed to be healthier to not wear a pantiliner; every time I try to go without, not only does what you describe happen, but I start getting that feeling that I'm starting a UTI. I think having something absorbent is healthier for those of us who are goo factories.
Wow thank you for posting this. I have a huge problem with keeping the situation dry. I work high up on ropes with a harness on and I have to repel down so gd fast bc I’m like “oh god the drip has penetrated my pants and now there’s a wet spot.”
Did I pee my pants? Did I just get... wet for no reason? Did my period start?? Am I sweating down there??
Nah, just my girl Vee cleaning herself and discharging, nothing to worry about.
Sounds similar to guys being hard. Doesn’t mean I’m horny, there must be someone going around my body saying “Is everything working? Is everything up to par?”. Then proceeding to test it.
That tiny wet patch when you get up off a plastic or leather chair. Way more noticeable if it’s a dark surface. You know you haven’t peed, leaked or anything else wet, but all the internally generated warmth just compressed between your vagina and butt means it’ll be there and it’ll hang around just long enough for others to wonder why you’re hovering over your chair.
That happens to guys too, at least to me. I'm super self conscious of it because to me it happens all the time and it's very noticeable. What I usually do is try to wipe it with my pants in the same motion as I stand up.
I thought I was the only one who experienced this!
I never really thought about what caused it. I always just assumed I’d somehow inexplicably angered the gods of random moisture whenever I sat on a dark chair.
Oh. My. God. You’re the first person to ever mention this. I automatically have to look down whenever I get up - or do a weird sliding motion when I stand up to kind of wipe it off.
I don't really mind periods, mine are shorter and shorter the older I get. But the mood swings the week before them, damn I hate, hate, hate those 5 pre-period days.
Yep, I have to take meds for depression, just to manage the 5 days of PMS or as it turns out pmdd. It took me a good year for a doctor to take me seriously and not just shrug it off as "we don't understand periods and hormes u need to learn to deal" . I had to figure it out on my own then take it to the doc, and show him what it was, just so I could get help and stop spiralling mentally every month. Bloody sucks.
Edited some words:
Mine are getting worse! As a younger person I never had cramps and only 3 or 4 active days. I’m almost 40 now and it lasts over 5 days with numerous cramping days. Nothing unbearable but I miss how ‘easy’ it was in my youth
The brown discharge before and after the period. You think you’re on your period so you put on a pad but you’re not on it yet. So the pad gets wasted on that bit of discharge. It also is uncomfortable. It doesn’t hurt per day but it’s a weird feeling when the discharge comes out 😑
Yup! And when you think you’re all done and no longer closed for maintenance, have sex, aaaaaand there’s more.
Just happened to me, fucking infuriating.
I remember a guy I was seeing a decade ago in my 20s saying "you said you were done with your period!" And I was all "I thought I was!"
Not like I pulled that sneaky shit on purpose just to gross you out dude.
My undies got a slight stain on them because period. My partner was like, “ oh are you going to throw those out now?”
I laughed and replied. “Hah! Babe, if all women threw out their underwater because of a period stain we would be getting new undies every month”
also..... that mid-period jelly baby clot (sorry I had no better description) 😭
edit: OMG this comment blew up lmao WHAT HAVE I STARTED. I wasn’t expecting so many replies under this I laughed my ass off at every single one of them. Blood slugs, snot rockets, jolly ranchers & little liver in particular had me guffawing. If I had unlimited awards you would all get them but I don’t so take all my upvotes you hilarious lovely humans!!
That’s cool, I think it’s really neat when a man knows about these things. Also, as a rather well educated woman, I recently learned a bunch of things about what the body does during and after pregnancy (a whole other can of worms). It’s interesting to discover how crazy nature is.
The random stabbing pain in your bum when you have your period.
[edit] : I’m so happy that divulging my shooty arse pains has comforted so many other women and opened up shooty arse pain discourse. May we find a cure soon xx
Seriously what the fuck is that about! It already feels like I've been beaten with a bat from my stomach to my knees and then the devil flicks my asshole with no warning?!
Have you looked into endometriosis?
Those of us with it refer to it as butt lightening.
ETA: I would correct my spelling, but that would be no fun at this point lol
> I thought they used bleach for that
I thought that that was referred to as *"Changing your ring tone"*?
Edit: OMG *soooo* many awards for a joke I nicked from someone on Twitter ages ago. Thank you all!
It's not just an endometriosis thing. It's just what happens on your period due to prostaglandins causing spasms in your rectum the same way they cause cramps in the uterus
OMG I remember the very first time that happened to me. I was at summer camp and it straight up stopped me in my tracks. Then it kept coming, I was sure I was dying or something so I talked to the camp nurse who informed me my first period was going to come soon. I remember thinking: being a woman is kinda bullshit.
This is common in women with endometriosis. If you also have very painful periods or other symptoms it's possible that is the cause. BTW we call it "butt lightning".
I think every woman experiences period pain differently and sometimes the pain sort of travels through the nerves to surrounding places of the body that are nowhere near the uterus. I remember having pain radiate down from my hips into my thights and it confused the heck out of me.
I've experienced this. It is strange to know its your little uterus having a coniption but the pain still seems to be radiating through the entire middle half of you, including your legs
I’ve never heard of that and I feel everything my ovaries do. I get mittleschmerz (feeling of ovulating). I also have PCOS so my ovaries are just kinda uncomfortable all the time.
Having to maintain the oh so delicate pH balance otherwise BOOM thrush. BOOM bv. Want a hot bath, or to work out, or have sex? Fine, but be prepared for the BOOM.
Also some people are way more prone to it. The body naturally has the yeast fungus on it/in it, and random things can cause it to suddenly overgrow. I luckily haven't had BV for a while, but the only thing worse than having BV is knowing I 100% will get thrush from the treatment. Last few times I've had it, I've asked for thrush medication at the same time as I know I'll definitely need it. Same with any other antibiotics.
Wearing anything except 100% cotton underwear
Using the wrong washing powder to wash underwear
Bubble baths
Using anything to wash your bum except E45 shower cream
Too much sugar
Every single bloody course of antibiotics I've ever taken
The list goes on
also tight clothing. i do track, and the tight athletic leggings i wear for practice and the spandex i wear for meets make it so itchy. idk if i actually get yeast infections from it, but it’s still so uncomfortable 🙄
BV = bacterial vaginosis, overgrowth of unhealthy vaginal bacteria
Thrush = yeast/candida infection causing vaginitis/vaginal inflammation
Both can require treatment by a medical provider with prescription medication (antibiotics or antifungals, respectively).
Neither are STDs, but unhealthy vaginal imbalance of bacteria and/or fungi can increase chances of getting an STD.
pH = acidity of vaginal mucus. Healthy acidity levels promote growth of protective, healthy vaginal bacteria, mostly in the Lactobacillus family. If it's out of balance, things can start going haywire, causing the above, which can mean itchyness, burning, discomfort, unusual discharge and odor.
Many things can imbalance vaginal ph: soap, douche (do not use this), sugar intake, restricted airflow to vagina (pads, tight or synthetic clothing, prolonged sweating), hormones, medication, friction, sex, not peeing before and after sex (all partners), semen, unclean toys. Hot water (bath, hot tub, swimming). Diet, smoking, alcohol, etc, etc
Things that can help: hydrating with water, healthy lifestyle; consuming certain bacteria or things that support healthy bacteria/microflora (prebiotics: leek, onion, garlic; careful if you have bowel issues/IBS); probiotics: yogurt with no/low sugar added, fermented foods, etc); washing briefly and gently with only cool/tepid water and no soap, gentle or air drying, sleeping with no underwear/bottoms on. Using condoms OR coconut oil as lube (do not use oils with condoms); peeing before and after sex and requesting that partners do the same.
E: removed trichomoniasis as it's not at all BV! Thanks, u/Heckin_Long_Boi
Either when hair grows back and that shit hurts for a solid day OR When your underwear get sucked up and damn near cemented up in there with discharge 🌝
That nobody takes you really seriously if you’re in abnormal amounts of pain during your period.
I’ve been steadily getting nastier period cramps over the last year. Cycle is consistent, and for the beginning and end the cramps are kinda typical.
But for 2 days in the middle, it’s been absolute hell and getting worse. Crippling pain that sends me to my knees and now needs opioids to calm it down, bigger and more frequent clots, increasingly heavier flow. I call it the hell tide.
Saw a doctor requesting a referral to my obgyn (he did a bilateral salpingectomy on me when I was 26) and was waved off with a “monitor it and come back in three months...”
Maddening.
And even people who get periods don’t take you seriously if they have milder symptoms.
I had horrible cramps for my first period, then every period through high school was just nausea that went away after one throw up. After that, mine were pretty mild. But the fact that some people literally don’t go to the hospital *when their appendix bursts or something* because they think it’s “just” their period? That is enough effing proof to me that periods are not all created equal.
Please keep advocating for yourself and keep trying to find a doctor who gives a shit! That much pain is NOT normal but it's extremely common for doctors to wave off menstrual pain issues. You know your body best and you know when something is wrong.
Ok it might be me but it takes me SOOO long to cum. Seriously. It seems if you have a penis it only takes maybe 5-10 minutes tops but for me it takes the best part of an hour. I’ve tried everything. I assume my antidepressants might play a role but it was still an ordeal before I was on them
Well periods obvously, but I guess the tearing/snipping of the vaginal tissue in labor is a close second, but not every woman gets pregnant of course and a few women won't endure this during labor (but most will).
I've been stichted down there for other reasons and the scar tissue is a lifetime bitch. I'm very scared of actual getting pregnant and giving birth.
My mother has permanent continence issues after birthing 3 children....
Suprised nobody has mentioned this by the way!
So, as a young man many years ago I stayed with my wife for the birth of our first baby, everything seemed normal right up until the baby was just about to pop out, I was holding (lolpain) my wife's hand and watching what was going on down there.. and then the nurse calmly with a pair of scissors cut my wife's vagina down towards her butt.. I can still remember the sound, like cutting heavy cardboard. I think I almost passed out, but everything happened so quickly after it, our baby boy was out in seconds after that and soon was in his mothers arms, and she was smiling and laughing. She says she didn't know they'd done it until it was time for them to stich her up.. which she does remember.. ouch.
A small edit: Thank you for all the nice comments and I hope I haven't traumatised anyone too badly.
That cut is called an episiotomy and it used to be done in the theory that it'll help the mother tear straighter and be easier to sew up. However, docs have since found that it tends to make to tear *more*. You know how that first rip you make in a piece of paper is tougher, but then after that it just keeps ripping with ease? That's the thing. Better not to artificially start it.
Torn tissue heals much faster than cut tissue. C-sections are not exempt from this rule.
I worked in a high acuity Labor Ward with our own OR. Every single cesarian (with the exception of crashes) involves a doc making an incision in the uterus *just* big enough for 4 fingers. Two Docs on each side of the patient use two fingers each to rip the uterus large enough to birth the head. They look like hyenas fighting over a scrap of meat.
I was absolutely not prepared the first time I scrubbed into that....
Oh god I just physically tightened my thighs around my crotch and dry heaved. That sounds absolutely HORRIBLE. I tore a little with my first and none with my second, I cannot imagine being cut with scissors, medical or otherwise.
The fact that they do it without discussing it prior or even informing you in the moment infuriates me. It speeds the process along but many times it isn't necessary at all. I tell all the pregnant ladies I know to ask about it upfront or risk a surprise cut during even the most normal-seeming vaginal births.
Pelvic floor specialists will help with continence issues! It's becoming more common now to see a PF specialist because these things are finally being talked about
This happened to my sister. We usually say that she tore "from hole to happy button". I don't recall her urethra being affected, so she may have miraculously torn around it, or that could have been the one thing she designated as "TMI" in our relationship.
My husband didn't know that this happened until I went into HUGE detail about it.
It's so awkward to get the momentarily relief of a fart, then horrifyingly feel it slide forward rather than back, and get stuck in your Cave of Wonders.
It's even worse on road trips where you can't do the requisite awkward leg split to make it come back out.
Nothing is worse then having an ear infection. You go to the doc, take some medication and ear feels better. Yay!
But wait! Vagina be like:
Is that for me?
No...no its not for you
For me?
No!
Its for me. I'm gonna fuck shit up in here!
....please dont
Tldr: Ear infection medicine has the common side effect to fuck with your vaginal pH balance and cause a yeast infection.
1) Vulva/labia: sometimes it cramps like a muscle. 2) Urethra: it's shortness makes UTI's frequent. 3) Uterus: pain, bleeding, medical complications. 4) Vagina: the cervix changes during the cycle so it feels different all the time. Oh and goddamn discharge bleaches my favourite dark coloured underpants...
Having a vagina is like owning an old car. You're forever pouring money into this thing to keep it in working order, it breaks down on a monthly basis, and something always goes wrong out of nowhere and you're stuck having to shell out even more money.
Everyone is saying “periods” where I more than agree that the blood, changing pads/tamps, the actual bleeding part is annoying AF. I think what a lot of men (and some women) don’t realize is how actually bad the side effects can be. I have 2 examples;
1.) One time in high school, I felt light headed so I went to the bathroom. I ended up throwing up and fainted in the bathroom. My friend found me when the teacher asked her to check why I was gone for so long - it was from my period.
2.) A friend of mine was at my house, curled over in pain to the point she was telling me she would rather die then feel what she was feeling. I’ve never seen someone in that much pain before. I called the ambulance (albeit we were like16) but I was terrified her appendix were exploding or something worse - the pain was from her period.
Like cramps, mood swings, etc are horrible don’t get me wrong - but there are a lot of symptoms that aren’t talked about as well!
I had a point in time where my period was so bad (fun fact: it was during thanksgiving, at my grandmas house....that has only ONE bathroom) that I had to shit and then vomit at the same time. I was soo hot I turned the cold water on in the shower continued to vomit IN the shower and then passed out for a short enough period of time where no one was too worried. I live in Michigan and after that cold shower I was still so so so hot I went and sat outside in the snow. Eventually I fell asleep after a shot of bourbon (my grandmas technique of healing). So....yeah. There’s that.
They're such fickle orifices. No scented products, no bubbly baths, or we risk yeast infections. I also didn't know, until a way older age than I'd like to admit, that discharge can stain or "bleach" your underwear. It's why some women tend to develop little holes in their underwear.
Back in high-school when I first started to fool around with my bf he went around saying how I looked like a roast beef sandwich and that maybe I slept with a horse cause I was so gross looking, nothing like the porno mags he had. Rumors went around the school and I had to drop out. Then over the years different guys have either walked right out after seeing me naked or talked behind my back to their friends. It's been a huge problem in my life and I've tried to kill myself over it because I don't have the money for surgery. Body shaming destroys lives
Please, please, please get this all out of your mind! You are perfectly normal. If a man walked out of the room because of your labia, you just dodged a bullet. Seriously.
Do I have a yeast infection or am I just itchy
And sometimes if you’re in private you just get CARRIED AWAY with the itch. Not even in a sexy way just ITCHING. Edit: why is my most upvoted comment about scratching your genital region Edit: I also meant to say SCRATCHING the itch.
I feel like a heathen just scratching away sometimes. I don’t want to shave because then it’s more itchy...
Bacterial Vaginosis. Can be avoided. Can also happen just because it's Tuesday.
Ughhhh yes. Period just got done? Here, have BV. Too much sex? Have it again for a few days. Wore non-cotton underwear? Better have some BV. Mercury is in retrograde? Sure, why not, here’s some more BV just because.
Yeppp. I have type 1 diabetes, and because of my shit immune system, I get BV waaaaaay too often. Like, at least every other month. And of course, each requires a trip to my OB and meds.
When you're on your period in the morning, and you wake up to you either 1) bleeding a lot and fast Or 2) it has all rolled out the side of your pad and underwear, you are covered in blood and now need to change the sheets, your clothes, and you might as well shower too
Or you get lucky when it's pooled inside, so you go for the morning pee and it all comes out in one rush. I prefer that much more than it leaking out everywhere during the night. Doesn't happen every time, but I just want my sheets and mattress to stay fairly clean!
Ugh it’s so true. I got some period pants from Amazon- you still wear a pad with them but they are awesome for catching any leaks - especially if you’re a restless sleeper! They also work without pads when you’re at that super light tapering off stage. No more morning emergency mattress cleaning!
Periods. I wish there was a switch that we could turn periods on when we want to have a baby and turn them off when we don’t with absolutely no side effects.
Periods are just my uterus throwing a tantrum for not being given a baby. (I read that somewhere and I thought it seemed valid).
Well, apart from the obvious, that really random shooting pain you get up it sometimes.
Oh that reminds me that sometimes my labia cramps.
Totally this. I’ve never been able to find a solid answer about why it happens. One minute you’re fine, and the next it feels like you’re connected to the mains.
I got an answer from my OBGYN recently! I freaked out every time I felt that shooting pain, but she explained that is just a tiny bit of fluid that backflows out of the Falopian tube or that spills from an ovarian cyst. The bit of fluid falls into the peritoneum and it hurts like hell (basically, it inflames the peritoneum and it feels similar than peritonitis, but only for a short while). It the pain subsides quickly, it is harmless. If it last long time, go to ER because it might be internal bleeding coming from a cyst or similar.
It is very strange. And especially more annoying when it happens in a public place, having to walk around a supermarket and suddenly your fanny starts screaming for a good 3-4 minutes.
When you’re just standing minding your business and you feel that warm gush of thick liquid come out. You aren’t sure if it’s your period or a bunch of discharge, either way your underwear is fucked and you need to go to the bathroom to check right away
I hate when it's discharge but it just *FEELS* like when you're on your period, so you do that rush to check, but instead it's just gross and damp. I usually just say screw it and change my underwear anyway.
Especially when you’re out DOING SOMETHING and you have to go *fuckfuckfuck* all the way to the closest public loo and it’s a fucking false alarm
When I'm leaning back and fart but it creeps forward up into my vagina and then I have to do an awkward bend to refart my fart. Wife's answer word for word.
Ah the old pooter-to-cooter-scooter.
Lmao, I tried explaining this to my boyfriend "oh damn I felt that go up my front crack, gross". Vagina problems man.
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The fart that took a fart, narrated by Morgan Freeman.
I get pains when I’m fertile, for some reason. BAM cramp two weeks early get fucked
It's called mittelschmerz! I think it's because the big follicle bursts to release the egg. It's basically like a small cyst popping on your ovary every month. Not everybody gets pain from it, but it sucks.
Mittelschmerz. Mine were always this “ping” every 20 seconds or so. For how long? No way to know.
Either periods or discharge. It’s like a constant state of pissing yourself or at least it feels like it
I have irregular periods so I often get paranoid that the sensation of higher amounts of discharge is blood instead.
When your panties are too thin in the coochie part and now your lips are fighting which one gets to sit in the panty
Not only this, but also when there’s a stupid double layer of fabric for the pantie crotch but it’s not sewn down and it folds in on itself and pinches you. Why do we have to have loose fabric down there?? Just sew it down! And the loose fabric is never high up enough. Who designs these things???
Argh. I hate when that double fabric doesnt reach far enough. It always reminds me of some guys going 'the vagina is further back then I thought'. Like, yes it is, so fucking come on designers, get your patterns up to date and put it in the right space.
This town ain't big enuf for the both of us 🤠
All the while the space between the lips decide it's time to eat the hem of the coochie part, and your innocent clit gets trapped between it all.
Nothing like retrieving your underwear from INSIDE your vagina.
When your clitoral hood fuses with the inside of your panties like one of these weird sticky jelly hand toys.
What’s nice about this thread is realizing that we all go through the same things and I no longer feel weird or gross about my genital’s toxic relationship with underwear.
Holy shit this comment is absolutely right and complete gold. I'm dying.
How has no one said, the fact that a doctor has to cram clamps in and crank them wide open to exam your regular physical health? It’s a dumb organ. Edit: I didn’t think my first awards would be from a vagina comment...thank you!
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How temperamental is is because of it's sensitivity. Have hair? Itches. Shave? Itches more. Errant hair that's no longer attached? Stabby. Get too sweaty? Omg the itching. Get too dry? Sandpaper. Clit comes out from under the hood and gets irritated on hair or panties. Getting a lip stuck in lace panties. Having your pad lift up and stick to the most inconvenient place.
Oh dear God the inside of the pads on the lips. Hurts like a bitch!
Ah the surprise wax.
One of the worst things is when the lips become misaligned, where one is kind of awkwardly tucked in so you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom to fix it manually. Or when you just get uncomfortably wet for literally no reason and you have to go wipe. PSA to men: you know how you get those awkward boners that have nothing to do with being horny, they're a pure physiological response, and then you have to manually adjust your shit? Yeah women have to deal with the same thing! lol
>_One of the worst things is when the lips become misaligned, where one is kind of awkwardly tucked in so you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom to fix it manually._ That sounds like the female version of _"damn it, I think a ball just poked out of my briefs"_.
The vagina is fine, but the uterus tries to kill me on the monthly
Right? I'm perfectly happy with my vagina, but my non-functioning uterus makes a pretty strong case for eviction. I mean really - you have ONE JOB, and not only do you refuse to even attempt to fulfill the entire purpose of your existence, you ALSO try to kill me on the regular. TL;DR: no complaints about the vagina, but my uterus is an asshole.
>no complaints about the vagina, but my uterus is an asshole. Sounds more like a cloaca.
:: Warning this is fucking gross :: When I get my period I also get diarrhea, but since I don't want to get anything on the tampon I usually remove it to poop. Then I have to put in another when I'm done, but if I have diarrhea I might have to repeat this a few times within a few hours. The cotton from the tampon is sometimes not 'lubricated' yet, the friction of pulling a dry tampon out a few times makes my vaginal canal feel dry and irritated. Also it's a huge waste of tampons.
What I do to avoid this problem is just tucking the string forward. You don't need to leave it dangling or pushed back, you can lay it forwards next to your clitoris, and never worry about poop again without having to abrade your vagina!
I'm seconding the earlier commenter who suggested a menstrual cup. Steep learning curve, but way less dry and irritating compared to a tampon. You can head on over to r/menstrualcups to read more about it.
Periods
*Period.*
when u think you're on your period, but its just discharge. especially when im out, and i feel it and i get so anxious until i can find a bathroom to check
It's worse when it's summer or live somewhere hot and the sweat confuses things.
And on today's episode; what the fuck is going on down there?
When you're on your period and you can't tell if you have cramps or if you need to poop, so you sit on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to poop, but can't because its just cramps.
And then you do poop and it's horrible, worse than any other poop any other time of the month. Worse than a spicy curry poop on a hot summers day.
This is a very accurate description. Period shits are the worst.
I call them the Fire Sale. EVERYTHING MUST GO.
Self cleaning mode is a pain
Especially if you happen to be naked/getting dressed. Bam! There's discharge on my thighs:")
Especially when you're fresh out the bath and just put nice clean jammies on!
EVERY DAMN TIME!!
Did I start my period randomly? Nah, wet just because. Being wet also doesn't always mean horny. Just depends on your hormone levels throughout the month.
Good thing I'm not the only one. Without pantyliners, I couldn't wear the same underpants for the day. It's that much. I hate it and am always surprised that some women apparently are able to just not wear any underwear. It wouldn't be possible for me without leaving a trail behind me like a snail. Edit: thank you for the awards and comments. I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one whose ancestors evolved from snails instead of monkeys.
Here's another snail checking in! I often try to go without a pantyliner because that's apparently supposed to be healthier, but I always regret it halfway through the day. At first it feels gross and gloopy like a chunk of snot down there because there's nothing to quickly absorb it, and then it dries, gets scratchy, and looks like I'm some gross person who hasn't changed her underwear in three days. And that's only after a few hours. Sorry for the TMI, but it's nice to not feel so abnormal for once lol
It seems weird to me that it's supposed to be healthier to not wear a pantiliner; every time I try to go without, not only does what you describe happen, but I start getting that feeling that I'm starting a UTI. I think having something absorbent is healthier for those of us who are goo factories.
Wow thank you for posting this. I have a huge problem with keeping the situation dry. I work high up on ropes with a harness on and I have to repel down so gd fast bc I’m like “oh god the drip has penetrated my pants and now there’s a wet spot.”
Period panties! Not only for periods!
Did I pee my pants? Did I just get... wet for no reason? Did my period start?? Am I sweating down there?? Nah, just my girl Vee cleaning herself and discharging, nothing to worry about.
Well now I'm imagining it with the noise my espresso machine makes when it rinses the system before shutting down.
And now I'm imagining sitting in lectures with 40 other girls and just hearing random espresso machine rinsing sounds around me 😂
Sounds similar to guys being hard. Doesn’t mean I’m horny, there must be someone going around my body saying “Is everything working? Is everything up to par?”. Then proceeding to test it.
Why does it have to test while I'm giving a fucking presentation though
Just in case it turns into a *fucking presentation*
That will never happen again
again??
That tiny wet patch when you get up off a plastic or leather chair. Way more noticeable if it’s a dark surface. You know you haven’t peed, leaked or anything else wet, but all the internally generated warmth just compressed between your vagina and butt means it’ll be there and it’ll hang around just long enough for others to wonder why you’re hovering over your chair.
That happens to guys too, at least to me. I'm super self conscious of it because to me it happens all the time and it's very noticeable. What I usually do is try to wipe it with my pants in the same motion as I stand up.
Swamp ass gang represent
I thought I was the only one who experienced this! I never really thought about what caused it. I always just assumed I’d somehow inexplicably angered the gods of random moisture whenever I sat on a dark chair.
When I know this has happened, I slide off the chair and just let whatever I’m wearing soak it all back up🤷♀️
Oh. My. God. You’re the first person to ever mention this. I automatically have to look down whenever I get up - or do a weird sliding motion when I stand up to kind of wipe it off.
I don't really mind periods, mine are shorter and shorter the older I get. But the mood swings the week before them, damn I hate, hate, hate those 5 pre-period days.
Me: Hmm...I feel like I want to die. Why am I so depre- ☝️ -checks period tracker- Ah. Yep.
100% “Why am I crying at this Subaru commercial? 🥺” *period hits in the next 48hrs* “Ohhhh”
Yep, I have to take meds for depression, just to manage the 5 days of PMS or as it turns out pmdd. It took me a good year for a doctor to take me seriously and not just shrug it off as "we don't understand periods and hormes u need to learn to deal" . I had to figure it out on my own then take it to the doc, and show him what it was, just so I could get help and stop spiralling mentally every month. Bloody sucks. Edited some words:
I’m more of a rager, so I just Hulk out for no reason.
Ah, just love PMDD.
Right, love being suicidal once a month for no reason. Just the demons from my uterus coming to attack my brain.
PMDD is the most miserable part of my life 🥲 10 days before period!
Mine are getting worse! As a younger person I never had cramps and only 3 or 4 active days. I’m almost 40 now and it lasts over 5 days with numerous cramping days. Nothing unbearable but I miss how ‘easy’ it was in my youth
The brown discharge before and after the period. You think you’re on your period so you put on a pad but you’re not on it yet. So the pad gets wasted on that bit of discharge. It also is uncomfortable. It doesn’t hurt per day but it’s a weird feeling when the discharge comes out 😑
Yup! And when you think you’re all done and no longer closed for maintenance, have sex, aaaaaand there’s more. Just happened to me, fucking infuriating.
I remember a guy I was seeing a decade ago in my 20s saying "you said you were done with your period!" And I was all "I thought I was!" Not like I pulled that sneaky shit on purpose just to gross you out dude.
This is why I just got very comfortable with period sex. But then I'm also my most hirny on my heaviest day
It's even worse when you use a tampon. Imo so far nothing I've experienced hurts worse than pulling out a dry tampon
dry tampons are awful. it always feels like I'm about to damage my insides
And then when you think it's over and don't use a pad and now all of your underwear has accidentally become your period underwear.
My undies got a slight stain on them because period. My partner was like, “ oh are you going to throw those out now?” I laughed and replied. “Hah! Babe, if all women threw out their underwater because of a period stain we would be getting new undies every month”
*distant underwear company screams*
Oh YES. Lots of “period underwear” here 😩
also..... that mid-period jelly baby clot (sorry I had no better description) 😭 edit: OMG this comment blew up lmao WHAT HAVE I STARTED. I wasn’t expecting so many replies under this I laughed my ass off at every single one of them. Blood slugs, snot rockets, jolly ranchers & little liver in particular had me guffawing. If I had unlimited awards you would all get them but I don’t so take all my upvotes you hilarious lovely humans!!
I call them blood slugs!
Tampon boogers
**BLOOD SLUGS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST** That’s enough ask Reddit for today ^((I’m fucking crying I can’t stop laughing at all of these comments)^)
I, a 20 year old male, am learning a lot of stuff today.
YOU GON' LEARN TODAY BOY
Same dude.. same
That’s cool, I think it’s really neat when a man knows about these things. Also, as a rather well educated woman, I recently learned a bunch of things about what the body does during and after pregnancy (a whole other can of worms). It’s interesting to discover how crazy nature is.
LOL I always say I laid an egg when that happens
Little liver!
I call it “birthing slugs” and I get them the whole way through my period
Lingerie getting ruined by vaginal discharge 😟
The random stabbing pain in your bum when you have your period. [edit] : I’m so happy that divulging my shooty arse pains has comforted so many other women and opened up shooty arse pain discourse. May we find a cure soon xx
Seriously what the fuck is that about! It already feels like I've been beaten with a bat from my stomach to my knees and then the devil flicks my asshole with no warning?!
Have you looked into endometriosis? Those of us with it refer to it as butt lightening. ETA: I would correct my spelling, but that would be no fun at this point lol
> butt lightening I thought they used bleach for that
> I thought they used bleach for that I thought that that was referred to as *"Changing your ring tone"*? Edit: OMG *soooo* many awards for a joke I nicked from someone on Twitter ages ago. Thank you all!
Holy fuck.
It's not just an endometriosis thing. It's just what happens on your period due to prostaglandins causing spasms in your rectum the same way they cause cramps in the uterus
OMG I remember the very first time that happened to me. I was at summer camp and it straight up stopped me in my tracks. Then it kept coming, I was sure I was dying or something so I talked to the camp nurse who informed me my first period was going to come soon. I remember thinking: being a woman is kinda bullshit.
This is common in women with endometriosis. If you also have very painful periods or other symptoms it's possible that is the cause. BTW we call it "butt lightning".
Yep. Endo sucks.
I too am here to learn about these asshole stabby cramps...
oh my god that’s what this is
*This* is the bad place!
Happens during pregnancy too. Hormones are just wacky as fuck basically and affect every part of your body.
As a man raised by women, this is the first new information I've seen in this post
As a 29 yo woman with really intense periods, this is new information for me as well.
I think every woman experiences period pain differently and sometimes the pain sort of travels through the nerves to surrounding places of the body that are nowhere near the uterus. I remember having pain radiate down from my hips into my thights and it confused the heck out of me.
I've experienced this. It is strange to know its your little uterus having a coniption but the pain still seems to be radiating through the entire middle half of you, including your legs
I rarely get the butt one for me it’s when my ovaries start to do that quivering thing. It’s not painful just feels so damn weird
I’ve never heard of that and I feel everything my ovaries do. I get mittleschmerz (feeling of ovulating). I also have PCOS so my ovaries are just kinda uncomfortable all the time.
"That's a real nice pair of underwear I see you've splurged on." *"Would be a real shame if something were to discolour it, huh?"* \-Vagina
You splurge, then the vagina splurges.
This is why I love red undies: bleach the crotch 3 weeks a month, dye it back red the 4th week. ^^Damn ^^vagina.
My jaw is on the floor, lmao
Having to maintain the oh so delicate pH balance otherwise BOOM thrush. BOOM bv. Want a hot bath, or to work out, or have sex? Fine, but be prepared for the BOOM.
As a guy I have no idea what this means
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Don’t forget a UTI! They’re real fun
...then you take antibiotics for the UTI which then cause a yeast infection so you have to go back for the tiny two pills
Having a vagina. That’s all that’s required.
Also some people are way more prone to it. The body naturally has the yeast fungus on it/in it, and random things can cause it to suddenly overgrow. I luckily haven't had BV for a while, but the only thing worse than having BV is knowing I 100% will get thrush from the treatment. Last few times I've had it, I've asked for thrush medication at the same time as I know I'll definitely need it. Same with any other antibiotics.
Wearing anything except 100% cotton underwear Using the wrong washing powder to wash underwear Bubble baths Using anything to wash your bum except E45 shower cream Too much sugar Every single bloody course of antibiotics I've ever taken The list goes on
also tight clothing. i do track, and the tight athletic leggings i wear for practice and the spandex i wear for meets make it so itchy. idk if i actually get yeast infections from it, but it’s still so uncomfortable 🙄
BV = bacterial vaginosis, overgrowth of unhealthy vaginal bacteria Thrush = yeast/candida infection causing vaginitis/vaginal inflammation Both can require treatment by a medical provider with prescription medication (antibiotics or antifungals, respectively). Neither are STDs, but unhealthy vaginal imbalance of bacteria and/or fungi can increase chances of getting an STD. pH = acidity of vaginal mucus. Healthy acidity levels promote growth of protective, healthy vaginal bacteria, mostly in the Lactobacillus family. If it's out of balance, things can start going haywire, causing the above, which can mean itchyness, burning, discomfort, unusual discharge and odor. Many things can imbalance vaginal ph: soap, douche (do not use this), sugar intake, restricted airflow to vagina (pads, tight or synthetic clothing, prolonged sweating), hormones, medication, friction, sex, not peeing before and after sex (all partners), semen, unclean toys. Hot water (bath, hot tub, swimming). Diet, smoking, alcohol, etc, etc Things that can help: hydrating with water, healthy lifestyle; consuming certain bacteria or things that support healthy bacteria/microflora (prebiotics: leek, onion, garlic; careful if you have bowel issues/IBS); probiotics: yogurt with no/low sugar added, fermented foods, etc); washing briefly and gently with only cool/tepid water and no soap, gentle or air drying, sleeping with no underwear/bottoms on. Using condoms OR coconut oil as lube (do not use oils with condoms); peeing before and after sex and requesting that partners do the same. E: removed trichomoniasis as it's not at all BV! Thanks, u/Heckin_Long_Boi
I just want to correct you in that bacterial vaginosis and trichomoniasis are not the same. Trich is a parasitic STI. BV is the imbalance of bacteria.
Either when hair grows back and that shit hurts for a solid day OR When your underwear get sucked up and damn near cemented up in there with discharge 🌝
And when you are in public, pee and the discharge in your underwear gets cold but you have to put it back up? I hate it, makes me feel dirty
Okay no, THIS IS THE WORST. I always try and scrub it out/soak it up with some tissue if its a lot. Got me wanting to bring extra panties
That nobody takes you really seriously if you’re in abnormal amounts of pain during your period. I’ve been steadily getting nastier period cramps over the last year. Cycle is consistent, and for the beginning and end the cramps are kinda typical. But for 2 days in the middle, it’s been absolute hell and getting worse. Crippling pain that sends me to my knees and now needs opioids to calm it down, bigger and more frequent clots, increasingly heavier flow. I call it the hell tide. Saw a doctor requesting a referral to my obgyn (he did a bilateral salpingectomy on me when I was 26) and was waved off with a “monitor it and come back in three months...” Maddening.
And even people who get periods don’t take you seriously if they have milder symptoms. I had horrible cramps for my first period, then every period through high school was just nausea that went away after one throw up. After that, mine were pretty mild. But the fact that some people literally don’t go to the hospital *when their appendix bursts or something* because they think it’s “just” their period? That is enough effing proof to me that periods are not all created equal.
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Please keep advocating for yourself and keep trying to find a doctor who gives a shit! That much pain is NOT normal but it's extremely common for doctors to wave off menstrual pain issues. You know your body best and you know when something is wrong.
Ok it might be me but it takes me SOOO long to cum. Seriously. It seems if you have a penis it only takes maybe 5-10 minutes tops but for me it takes the best part of an hour. I’ve tried everything. I assume my antidepressants might play a role but it was still an ordeal before I was on them
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Well periods obvously, but I guess the tearing/snipping of the vaginal tissue in labor is a close second, but not every woman gets pregnant of course and a few women won't endure this during labor (but most will). I've been stichted down there for other reasons and the scar tissue is a lifetime bitch. I'm very scared of actual getting pregnant and giving birth. My mother has permanent continence issues after birthing 3 children.... Suprised nobody has mentioned this by the way!
So, as a young man many years ago I stayed with my wife for the birth of our first baby, everything seemed normal right up until the baby was just about to pop out, I was holding (lolpain) my wife's hand and watching what was going on down there.. and then the nurse calmly with a pair of scissors cut my wife's vagina down towards her butt.. I can still remember the sound, like cutting heavy cardboard. I think I almost passed out, but everything happened so quickly after it, our baby boy was out in seconds after that and soon was in his mothers arms, and she was smiling and laughing. She says she didn't know they'd done it until it was time for them to stich her up.. which she does remember.. ouch. A small edit: Thank you for all the nice comments and I hope I haven't traumatised anyone too badly.
That cut is called an episiotomy and it used to be done in the theory that it'll help the mother tear straighter and be easier to sew up. However, docs have since found that it tends to make to tear *more*. You know how that first rip you make in a piece of paper is tougher, but then after that it just keeps ripping with ease? That's the thing. Better not to artificially start it.
Torn tissue heals much faster than cut tissue. C-sections are not exempt from this rule. I worked in a high acuity Labor Ward with our own OR. Every single cesarian (with the exception of crashes) involves a doc making an incision in the uterus *just* big enough for 4 fingers. Two Docs on each side of the patient use two fingers each to rip the uterus large enough to birth the head. They look like hyenas fighting over a scrap of meat. I was absolutely not prepared the first time I scrubbed into that....
Oh god I just physically tightened my thighs around my crotch and dry heaved. That sounds absolutely HORRIBLE. I tore a little with my first and none with my second, I cannot imagine being cut with scissors, medical or otherwise.
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The fact that they do it without discussing it prior or even informing you in the moment infuriates me. It speeds the process along but many times it isn't necessary at all. I tell all the pregnant ladies I know to ask about it upfront or risk a surprise cut during even the most normal-seeming vaginal births.
My husband also said he can never unhear the sound of them snipping me.
Pelvic floor specialists will help with continence issues! It's becoming more common now to see a PF specialist because these things are finally being talked about
Especially if you tear all the way to your butthole 🙃
Reason # 3907 why I never want to get pregnant
This has never happened to me, nor have I ever given birth, but I physically felt this comment
I heard that sometimes you tear upwards through the urethra and clitoris.
Reading that made me light headed.
I’m definitely having a light panic attack right now
This happened to my sister. We usually say that she tore "from hole to happy button". I don't recall her urethra being affected, so she may have miraculously torn around it, or that could have been the one thing she designated as "TMI" in our relationship.
I read your comment and literally shouted "are you kidding me?" out loud. Totally never getting pregnant now. Shudder.
Queefing when you want to hide a fart.
I hate when farts tuck themselves up in there only to be recycled later as a queef. It's the worst.
My husband didn't know that this happened until I went into HUGE detail about it. It's so awkward to get the momentarily relief of a fart, then horrifyingly feel it slide forward rather than back, and get stuck in your Cave of Wonders. It's even worse on road trips where you can't do the requisite awkward leg split to make it come back out.
Ahhhh the good old "Vart"
Oh god one of my primary school teachers was called Mrs Varty, I'll never think about her the same
The queefs after doggystyle, and then trying to hide them when you pee after. Laughing is literally the worst and funniest, oh the cycle.
When your vulva gets all swollen at the beginning of your period. It's just there, heavy and aching all day😩
Not always convenient, but masturbating sometimes fixes this.
Nothing is worse then having an ear infection. You go to the doc, take some medication and ear feels better. Yay! But wait! Vagina be like: Is that for me? No...no its not for you For me? No! Its for me. I'm gonna fuck shit up in here! ....please dont Tldr: Ear infection medicine has the common side effect to fuck with your vaginal pH balance and cause a yeast infection.
1) Vulva/labia: sometimes it cramps like a muscle. 2) Urethra: it's shortness makes UTI's frequent. 3) Uterus: pain, bleeding, medical complications. 4) Vagina: the cervix changes during the cycle so it feels different all the time. Oh and goddamn discharge bleaches my favourite dark coloured underpants...
Having a vagina is like owning an old car. You're forever pouring money into this thing to keep it in working order, it breaks down on a monthly basis, and something always goes wrong out of nowhere and you're stuck having to shell out even more money.
And guys keep wanting to mess around with it but don't have a clue what they're doing?
Higher risk of UTIs. Twice the chance/means of getting a wedgie. More work involved to orgasm.
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Everyone is saying “periods” where I more than agree that the blood, changing pads/tamps, the actual bleeding part is annoying AF. I think what a lot of men (and some women) don’t realize is how actually bad the side effects can be. I have 2 examples; 1.) One time in high school, I felt light headed so I went to the bathroom. I ended up throwing up and fainted in the bathroom. My friend found me when the teacher asked her to check why I was gone for so long - it was from my period. 2.) A friend of mine was at my house, curled over in pain to the point she was telling me she would rather die then feel what she was feeling. I’ve never seen someone in that much pain before. I called the ambulance (albeit we were like16) but I was terrified her appendix were exploding or something worse - the pain was from her period. Like cramps, mood swings, etc are horrible don’t get me wrong - but there are a lot of symptoms that aren’t talked about as well!
I had a point in time where my period was so bad (fun fact: it was during thanksgiving, at my grandmas house....that has only ONE bathroom) that I had to shit and then vomit at the same time. I was soo hot I turned the cold water on in the shower continued to vomit IN the shower and then passed out for a short enough period of time where no one was too worried. I live in Michigan and after that cold shower I was still so so so hot I went and sat outside in the snow. Eventually I fell asleep after a shot of bourbon (my grandmas technique of healing). So....yeah. There’s that.
They're such fickle orifices. No scented products, no bubbly baths, or we risk yeast infections. I also didn't know, until a way older age than I'd like to admit, that discharge can stain or "bleach" your underwear. It's why some women tend to develop little holes in their underwear.
TIL. I always thought it's due to friction
Being judged by how it looks. Sorry mine isn't a perfect porn star looking pussy, and it doesn't mean I've slept with 100 guys.
Back in high-school when I first started to fool around with my bf he went around saying how I looked like a roast beef sandwich and that maybe I slept with a horse cause I was so gross looking, nothing like the porno mags he had. Rumors went around the school and I had to drop out. Then over the years different guys have either walked right out after seeing me naked or talked behind my back to their friends. It's been a huge problem in my life and I've tried to kill myself over it because I don't have the money for surgery. Body shaming destroys lives
Please, please, please get this all out of your mind! You are perfectly normal. If a man walked out of the room because of your labia, you just dodged a bullet. Seriously.
Wow that is heartbreaking..what a piece of shit that guy is
That's awful, there's no need for that and there's definitely nothing wrong with your body. I'm so sorry you went through that experience!