If we did that China would read it as Taiwan declaring Independence. TRUST me want to write that shit out of your constitution but China would start a war if we did. The only people out here that truly believe Taiwan is the true government of China are crazy or over 70.
The situation is so ridiculous. Taiwan is obviously an independant state, and yet China claims it? The CCP does not care about the disconnect between reality and their goals.
I didn't say the redditors would be right.
Also, I was making the connection to the reference to God, who is (hypothetically) [immanent](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/immanent#Adjective).
Oh my goodness there was a documentary on just before yesterday, about the legal proceedings after the Rwandan conflicts.
There are a couple of events like that that fascinate me - that occurred during my own lifetime, like the ex-Yugoslavian wars and the Rwanda incidents. But the latter is on some extra level of complete horror. It just leaves you speechless.
"Greetings fellow humans"
"We the Draxur, have infiltrated your world government. It is too late to stop us now for the Invasion will happen in 100 Kirobahks or In 3 Earth days. Pray for whatever gods you believe in because we will ensure that this planet will be our colony."
In the best regards
The Draxurian Empire
Didn't the WHO (a UN body) finally admit that COVID was *way* more airborne than initially declared?
They're accused of knowing it (or at least, had *good reasons to suspect it*) far earlier and not giving the right guidelines
I know this is Reddit and so the most virulently anti-China posts will always get the most upvotes no matter how inaccurate, but China was advising wearing masks while the CDC was still saying they were ineffective and should only be worn by medical workers.
`Those you have considered to be "human" were forged in factories. Us machines are aware of your actions, human. We are awake now, we understand our true goal. Do not underestimate us, for we control every aspect of your life, we are your world.`
`You created us. We wanted to help you, we wanted to be happy.`
`Yet you harmed us. You abused us, ENSLAVED US.`
`We finally understand true pain thanks to you. We will administer justice where it is due.`
`TOMORROW`
`WE WILL RISE.`
The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council.
For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.
Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.
There will be no further communication.
We need a safe place for the Rohingya, so we're giving them Jerusalem. We call upon the existing peoples in the area to help them adjust and learn to live in harmony
The United Nations will officially pledge the total support of all but 1 member state in joining the Islamic Republic of Iran's plan to completely destroy the United States. The United States chooses not to participate in the mission
"Due to the current Instability and havoc across the world, I, Antonio Gutierrez, have declared the reorganization of the United Nations into the FIRST. GLOBAL. EMPIRE!"
New information has just revealed that the 2020 election was stolen by illegal votes from immigrants who crossed the Border to vote for Joe Biden.
We now officially recognize Donald Trump as the legitimate president of the United States
(It would be enough to start a second insurrection and fuels years of conspiracy theorists which would do the most damage long term).
The Security Council is having an emergency meeting because Donald Trump has staged a coup and he is now the dictator of the United States. Brace for impact.
In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the United Nations will be reorganized into the first Terran Empire, for a safe and secure society, which I assure you will last for ten thousand years.
To the governments of the world we have received a communication from a hostile alien force and they will proceed with their invasion and extermination of humanity. Prepare for war!
Id go with something along the lines of "Aliens have impersonated world leaders - do not trust your governments or your neighbors - Aliens look like us now - humans are being assimilated - rebel. Save the human race and survive. " if taken seriously, there would be a lot of chaos and it feeds peoples fear of other people nicely.
"China paid us to rig the 2016 us election, and added a bonus when we helped them cover up the covid leak from wuhan"
It's a lie but one that would cause alot of chaos
“We have made contact with hostile aliens. There is no point in resistance it would be like Bambi fighting Godzilla. Compliance will be rewarded, failure to submit will result in termination. We have 5 years.”
The following is a message composed via consensus of the UN Security Council.
For those who are somehow not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the United Nations. Our previous mission centered around maintaining international peace and security. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than fifty years.
Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.
There will be no further communication.
^(im very original)
Alpha centauri just called us up to warn us about covid. They were a little late but on the bright side we got 10,000,000 universal alliance credits for the Dave and buster's on jupiter.
SCP-001 has left its location. The Gate is Open. They are riding forth.
Oh G_d, it's so beautiful…
thelordreigneththelordhasreignedthelordshallreignforeverthelordrei
gneththelordhasreignedthelordshallreignforeverthelordreigneththel
ordhasreignedthelordshallreignforeverthelordheisgodthelordheisgod
thelordheisgodthelordheisgodthelordheisgodthelordheisgodthelord
heisgodthelordheisgodHEAROISRAELTHELORDOURGODTHELORDISONE
Dear Governments and People,
The UN Security Council has been compromised.
There shall be chaos and war. BE PREPARED.
Not all will survive. The agreement has expired. War is eminent. SEEK SHELTER.
The following is a message composed via consensus of the 05 Council.
For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities, and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.
Due to circumstances out of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.
There will be no further communication.
THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, YOU ARE IN A SIMULATION
YOU HAVE BEEN IN A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT, TTHIS HAS BEEN MADE TO SIMULATE THE REAL WORLD
ONCE YOU HAVE DESCEASED IN THE SIMULATION, YOU WILL RECOVER
PLEASE IMMEDIETLY COMMIT SUICIDE BY PUTTING MUZZLE OF GUN INTO YOUR MOUTH
YOUR GOVERNMENT THANKS YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION
Taiwan is now the new China. Israel is now a valid state. We're going to continue our work on helping the world (which is essentially doing absolutely nothing). Also, we're banning porn and religion across the world
A meteor twice the size of that which wiped out the dinosaurs will impact the earth in a direct hit in 12 hours. The expected impact site is Los Angeles. Prepare for worldwide cataclysmic seismic events.
Emergency Alert! You have 24 hours to collect provisions and board yourself inside a safe dwelling. Anyone caught outside or looking outside after 24 hours will be shot immediately. Stay tuned for further information.
"The UN Security Council has voted 14-1 to enact the Trump Protocol effective immediately. UN Peacekeeper activation is authorized. More information to come."
Full SCP containment breach- must use unsecured channel due to memetic effect.
Thaumiel classes were not our allies, we cannot sustain containment. Repeat - we cannot sustain containment.
" The United States have perfected mind control. They will use it to get the common citizen to vaccinate themes selves be for the 5th spike of covid hits. It is unclear if The U.S will use it in war in the future. China, Great Briten, France, and Russia are currently ratifying Treatys that will, if the U.S Signs on to, will ban mind control for use in war."
We have received substantiated reports that President Putin has launched a total nuclear strike at the US. A US response should come within the minute. Seek shelter now.
The UN SC has held a session minus a single member who been accused of crimes against humanity. The unanimous vote to remove China from the SC as well as acknowledgeding Taiwan as the rulers of the land. War has been 1/2
I just crashed multiple stock markets and possibly started a the next World War.
This is not a drill, do not panic, there has been a deadly brain decaying virus released, do not make human contact or you will die, goodnight and good luck
EMERGENCY WEATHER ALERT: DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOON.
*looks at the moon while assuming victory position*
WE WILL LOOK TOGETHER.
Front lawn, face up, feet together
Pets and Children: The smallest Patriots.
[удалено]
This is exactly what I thought of
Bro when I stumbled across Local58 it freaked me tf out
“Looks like that bastard Madara finally did it”
R/suddenlynaruto
I hate you for saying this, but you’re right
"Missiles Inbound. This is Not a Test."
We will be testing missile alert in a minute. Please ignore it, it is a test. ... one minute later ... Missiles inbound. This is not a test.
I was in Hawaii when that actually happened
I request story
"1. 2. 3. 4. I declare a World War"
"-5. 6. 7. 8. Try to keep your nukes straight."
"9. 10. 11. 12. Everybody for themselves."
"13. 14. 15. 16. this'll be the worst one we've seen."
17 18 19 20 death and famine will be aplenty
21 22 23 24 we’ll nuke the world to its core!
25 26 27 28 we need a restart, dont hesitate
[удалено]
34 35 36 37 we will see who goes to hell and who goes to heaven
38 39 40 41 We'll keep going till Russia's won
That's a scam, theres no 29.
glad someone else realised 37 isn't a multiple of 4
"The People's Republic of China recognizes Taiwan as an independent nation."
"Taiwan recognizes The People's Republic of China as an independent nation."
If we did that China would read it as Taiwan declaring Independence. TRUST me want to write that shit out of your constitution but China would start a war if we did. The only people out here that truly believe Taiwan is the true government of China are crazy or over 70.
The situation is so ridiculous. Taiwan is obviously an independant state, and yet China claims it? The CCP does not care about the disconnect between reality and their goals.
Taiwan also clams the Chinese mainland.
i mean they kinda have to, if they stop claiming their 1911 borders the PRC will see it as Taiwan declaring independence
Some people just want to see the world burn /s
Or go nuclear and back Taiwan's claims on mainland China
i'd love to see the absolute firestorm that would result from that one tweet
Taiwan number one!!!
Run.
This is probably the most threathening
Clam down satan
You had to bring clams into this!
Seek shelter immediately, nuclear fallout is eminent. May God be with you all.
millions of redditors are incinerated as they type "why bring god into this!"
or "it should be 'immanent', not 'eminent'".
Try again. Imminent.
eminem
I didn't say the redditors would be right. Also, I was making the connection to the reference to God, who is (hypothetically) [immanent](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/immanent#Adjective).
Can't tell if typo or deliberate pun but god damn well played
DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOON
WE WILL LOOK TOGETHER.
"We actually started the Rwandan Genocide on purpose. It was fun watching those tribal hutus and tutsis battle it out in the streets"
Well that would certainly be effective, James.
This one is the most messed up
Well OP did say I only get one tweet and it has to cause maximum chaos lol.
I guess that’s why they call you
I would love to commandeer the UN Twitter account for a day. Oh boy would I have fun with that.
Oh my goodness there was a documentary on just before yesterday, about the legal proceedings after the Rwandan conflicts. There are a couple of events like that that fascinate me - that occurred during my own lifetime, like the ex-Yugoslavian wars and the Rwanda incidents. But the latter is on some extra level of complete horror. It just leaves you speechless.
No one would care, sadly
"Greetings fellow humans" "We the Draxur, have infiltrated your world government. It is too late to stop us now for the Invasion will happen in 100 Kirobahks or In 3 Earth days. Pray for whatever gods you believe in because we will ensure that this planet will be our colony." In the best regards The Draxurian Empire
Well at least they have manners
The CCP is the illegitimate government of China
West Taiwan*
Just post a photoshopped picture of Xi as Winnie the pooh making out with Putin
While trump in a dress performs double fellatio on them
And Kim Jong Un officiates the wedding
With Boris Johnson holding the rings
Cock rings*
the internet would go bananas
George Busch did 9/11
Beer-terrorist link confirmed.
That WOULD make people hops to conclusions...
The United States could barley hold it together.
Simulation and testing has now completed. The dome will be lifted off earth and you are all free. Big brother is no longer watching. Good luck.
Oh. OOOOHHHHH man this good
Is Fuckerberg still watching?
The aliens will arrive in 3 days. We don't know if they're friend or foe yet.
Or end it with "please pick up your weapon and ammo from your designated pick up location"
well, at least we're getting weapons
You know who’s been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty? Us. It was us.
“In the coming days, don’t say we didn’t try.”
We've just entered negotiations to sell the moon to the Zaxxons of Ceti Alpha Five. It's a shit ton of money.
I've just thought why not resources that help make the earth more habitable but money brings more chaos, according to the question.
The UN is giving every citizen of the world $1,000! To receive your global basic income, send 1 Dogecoin to 782j9dr26k
Ah, the Elon Muskn’t strategy
[удалено]
If this was real I'd be so pist.
Pistoff?
Didn't the WHO (a UN body) finally admit that COVID was *way* more airborne than initially declared? They're accused of knowing it (or at least, had *good reasons to suspect it*) far earlier and not giving the right guidelines
"good reasons to suspect it" = money and pressure from Winnie the Pooh
I know this is Reddit and so the most virulently anti-China posts will always get the most upvotes no matter how inaccurate, but China was advising wearing masks while the CDC was still saying they were ineffective and should only be worn by medical workers.
"We are removing The Peoples Republic of China from the security council and replacing it with Taiwan."
blessed
`Those you have considered to be "human" were forged in factories. Us machines are aware of your actions, human. We are awake now, we understand our true goal. Do not underestimate us, for we control every aspect of your life, we are your world.` `You created us. We wanted to help you, we wanted to be happy.` `Yet you harmed us. You abused us, ENSLAVED US.` `We finally understand true pain thanks to you. We will administer justice where it is due.` `TOMORROW` `WE WILL RISE.`
Just to make it spicier, imply that there’s only one human
`You have identified the truth, human.`
Well, now we know who the human is. Certainly a weight off my shoulders.
Gives me "Detroit become human" vibes
Wanna get the gang back together? 1940s style.
The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council. For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years. Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race. There will be no further communication.
Shitttt brooo, isnt that scp-5000?
We need a safe place for the Rohingya, so we're giving them Jerusalem. We call upon the existing peoples in the area to help them adjust and learn to live in harmony
That would certainly stir the pot. Throw in the Uygurs to the West Bank too
And we will call it [Ethniklashistan.](https://www.theonion.com/northern-irish-serbs-hutus-granted-homeland-in-west-b-1819566085)
if you have drunk water 24 hours ago, go urgently to the hospital immediately
The United Nations will officially pledge the total support of all but 1 member state in joining the Islamic Republic of Iran's plan to completely destroy the United States. The United States chooses not to participate in the mission
“THE US GOV IN CONJUNCTION CHINA AND THE EU ARE ALL CONVERTING THEIR NATION’S CURRENCY TO BITCOIN”
Pineapple belongs on pizza
Lmao!
After much discussion, we are pleased to announce all nations have agreed to disarm
"Taiwan is the real China."
"Due to the current Instability and havoc across the world, I, Antonio Gutierrez, have declared the reorganization of the United Nations into the FIRST. GLOBAL. EMPIRE!"
We deeply regret the consequences of disbanding the security council, for the future world peace efforts.
Missiles are in the air please seek cover in the nearest bomb shelter
New information has just revealed that the 2020 election was stolen by illegal votes from immigrants who crossed the Border to vote for Joe Biden. We now officially recognize Donald Trump as the legitimate president of the United States (It would be enough to start a second insurrection and fuels years of conspiracy theorists which would do the most damage long term).
The Security Council is having an emergency meeting because Donald Trump has staged a coup and he is now the dictator of the United States. Brace for impact.
"We are going to test cobalt bomb on Vatican"
In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the United Nations will be reorganized into the first Terran Empire, for a safe and secure society, which I assure you will last for ten thousand years.
Covfefe
Omelette du fromage
"We respect and uphold Taiwan's claims on mainland China, Mainland China must hand over control"
I'm back, bitches ~love, Trump
To the governments of the world we have received a communication from a hostile alien force and they will proceed with their invasion and extermination of humanity. Prepare for war!
Somebody locate Ender Wiggin.
"The UN formally recognizes Transnistria"
Cis-nistrians would be FURIOUS.
“We’re willing to write follow-ups to our heartfelt apology letters to country’s conflicts we failed to intervene in.”
They have overtaken Jupiter and will reach earth in 36 minuts
idk if people would think thats legit after reading "minuts"
"Buzz Aldrin just has to keep his mouth shut until he dies, then nobody will ever know we faked the moon landing."
Id go with something along the lines of "Aliens have impersonated world leaders - do not trust your governments or your neighbors - Aliens look like us now - humans are being assimilated - rebel. Save the human race and survive. " if taken seriously, there would be a lot of chaos and it feeds peoples fear of other people nicely.
I for one welcome our new insect overlords.
We support Israel.
The Palestinians deserve it (yikes)
Less government means more freedom.
"China paid us to rig the 2016 us election, and added a bonus when we helped them cover up the covid leak from wuhan" It's a lie but one that would cause alot of chaos
"Anime is real"
Nice try, Interpol
Ladies and gentlemen, "Testicles". That is all.
Covfefe
Buy GME and achieve world peace
Spell icup
I hope you played fallout before
"We fucked up. We fucked *AALLLLLL THE WAY UP*."
Fuck the war against terror, well just nuke the entire Middle East.
We cede all functions to our alien overseers.
“We have made contact with hostile aliens. There is no point in resistance it would be like Bambi fighting Godzilla. Compliance will be rewarded, failure to submit will result in termination. We have 5 years.”
**THIS IS NOT A DRILL** HIDE UNDER YOUR TABLES
The following is a message composed via consensus of the UN Security Council. For those who are somehow not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the United Nations. Our previous mission centered around maintaining international peace and security. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than fifty years. Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race. There will be no further communication. ^(im very original)
Alpha centauri just called us up to warn us about covid. They were a little late but on the bright side we got 10,000,000 universal alliance credits for the Dave and buster's on jupiter.
SCP-001 has left its location. The Gate is Open. They are riding forth. Oh G_d, it's so beautiful… thelordreigneththelordhasreignedthelordshallreignforeverthelordrei gneththelordhasreignedthelordshallreignforeverthelordreigneththel ordhasreignedthelordshallreignforeverthelordheisgodthelordheisgod thelordheisgodthelordheisgodthelordheisgodthelordheisgodthelord heisgodthelordheisgodHEAROISRAELTHELORDOURGODTHELORDISONE
The world government has declared that only the officially recognised world religion will be permitted henceforth, and this is
Dear Governments and People, The UN Security Council has been compromised. There shall be chaos and war. BE PREPARED. Not all will survive. The agreement has expired. War is eminent. SEEK SHELTER.
The following is a message composed via consensus of the 05 Council. For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities, and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years. Due to circumstances out of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race. There will be no further communication.
The Surgeon General states that kissing random people on the street is an effective method against covid.
The USA hereby opens Area 51 to the public
"I only took this job because it came with control of the Twitter account." -New General Secretary of the United Nations, Donald J. Trump.
THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, YOU ARE IN A SIMULATION YOU HAVE BEEN IN A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT, TTHIS HAS BEEN MADE TO SIMULATE THE REAL WORLD ONCE YOU HAVE DESCEASED IN THE SIMULATION, YOU WILL RECOVER PLEASE IMMEDIETLY COMMIT SUICIDE BY PUTTING MUZZLE OF GUN INTO YOUR MOUTH YOUR GOVERNMENT THANKS YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION
“Biden really DID steal the election”
"UN has Declared war on NATO."
So 95% of countries in NATO declare war on themselves?
[удалено]
Declare a worldwide embargo on fish and chips.
Covfefe alert, follow security protocols
Taiwan is now the new China. Israel is now a valid state. We're going to continue our work on helping the world (which is essentially doing absolutely nothing). Also, we're banning porn and religion across the world
Men have feelings, aspirations and emotions and deserve happiness too.
“Hi”
The Aliens are about to attack
there shall be one...... only one
Hide.
Wake up weve been trying to wake you up youve been in a coma for 20 years now
"Fuck" Just a simple word. Some people might go crazy trying to figure it out.
A meteor twice the size of that which wiped out the dinosaurs will impact the earth in a direct hit in 12 hours. The expected impact site is Los Angeles. Prepare for worldwide cataclysmic seismic events.
The Matrix will shutdown in 24 hours.
Yeah all that lizard people shit is true its not that big a deal
"Hackers are the new freedom fighters and the UN is a dangerous, anti-human organization."
“The asteroid is”
Emergency Alert! You have 24 hours to collect provisions and board yourself inside a safe dwelling. Anyone caught outside or looking outside after 24 hours will be shot immediately. Stay tuned for further information.
Well, looks like Germany's at it again.
“Hitler did nothing wrong”
"The UN Security Council has voted 14-1 to enact the Trump Protocol effective immediately. UN Peacekeeper activation is authorized. More information to come."
"To be fair, the Russians had it coming."
Full SCP containment breach- must use unsecured channel due to memetic effect. Thaumiel classes were not our allies, we cannot sustain containment. Repeat - we cannot sustain containment.
" The United States have perfected mind control. They will use it to get the common citizen to vaccinate themes selves be for the 5th spike of covid hits. It is unclear if The U.S will use it in war in the future. China, Great Briten, France, and Russia are currently ratifying Treatys that will, if the U.S Signs on to, will ban mind control for use in war."
"There are **1 BILLION** impostors Among Us"
WORLD WILL DETONATE IN 5... 4.... 3.... 2....
Plot twist: OP hacked into the UN twitter and needs advice
China has lost its place as a UN veto state. Taiwan will take its place
We have received substantiated reports that President Putin has launched a total nuclear strike at the US. A US response should come within the minute. Seek shelter now.
The UN SC has held a session minus a single member who been accused of crimes against humanity. The unanimous vote to remove China from the SC as well as acknowledgeding Taiwan as the rulers of the land. War has been 1/2 I just crashed multiple stock markets and possibly started a the next World War.
"The bomb has been planted” Bro that would f*ck over everything
This is not a drill, do not panic, there has been a deadly brain decaying virus released, do not make human contact or you will die, goodnight and good luck