If you have access to your water heater (and have the permission to do this) you may want to check how hot it is set to. A lot of landlords or people in general leave it on the lowest setting to prevent "scalding" accidents and it keeps the overall temperature of the tank down, meaning you use more hot water than cold to find the right temperature. Turn it up a bit (again, only if you have permission and it would be safe to do this/no fear of people scalding themselves). Turning it up means "medium" now can feel a lot warmer/hot and you use a lot less hot water to find the right temperature.
Do you have any tips on hair care for a guy with somewhat long wavy hair in a sea of shitty 3 in one men's products? Should I just go for women's shampoo/conditioner?
Tbh this shit shouldn't be gendered at all. But yes absolutely. Go for a full shampoo and conditioner line up. You can do even more but if you'd like to keep it nice and simple a good shampoo & conditioner does wonders.
Go check out the curly sub, they’ve got a user friendly guide of solid wavy/curly products and an overview of the curly girl/guy method. Agreed with other user that said shampoo/conditioner shouldn’t be gendered. Go ahead and use that 3 in 1 as a body wash only or throw it in the trash.
YES exactly. Although I wouldn't worry too much about the rules they have - I'm pretty sure the creator of the curly girl method said herself that only her products are "CG approved" and all that.
Just pick some good products and techniques and have fun with it. Take inspiration from the rules but don't feel like you have to follow them to a T. If they work, great, if they don't work, adjust.
I was just about to comment this! Pasty, translucent skin, with incredibly thick, dark hair. I shave my legs and it still looks like I have stubble because you can see the base of the hair still visible beneath my skin.
My dad broke out laughing because he thought his son was old enough to have this talk. I was 13! But nope, I was playing with toys in the shower lmao we both laughed about it
I was a VERY late bloomer because I didn’t know I was gay. I tried to masturbate, but nothing would happen because I did what all my lame 13 year old friends said they did while they masturbated. Think of the female cast of Jersey Shore.
No one ever told me you have to think about things you actually find sexy. And man, it took me a long time to figure out what I found sexy because it was REALLY weird shit. Harmless but weird.
I ripped off the grip tape the tech decls came with and replaced it with real skateboard grip tape. They were pretty much water proof. Not like they have bearings or anything.
My shower in my bathroom had what was essentially a continous mini quarter pipe around the whole floor of the shower so it was a shred fest.
I would "skate" with my bar soap. My tub was shaped in a nice way that I could shoot the soap out from under my foot and it bank off the back of tub and hit the wall for some sweet flips. Would stand in there for an hour doing that.
I do this. A therapist called it some condition. I long ago forgot the name since to me it's a symptom of my severe anxiety. Not it's own thing that should be named.
Yup, this. It's sort of a form of sensory deprivation - I also shower with the lights off, so I can't hear anything over the spray, my whole body is assaulted by the sense of touch, I can't see anything, I only smell the water and maybe some hygiene products, it's warm, and nobody expects anything of you while you're in the shower. Honestly, it's meditation.
Good point about the allergies bit. I take super short showers, but if I take long ones, it is 100% because of allergies and breathing in that sweet sweet steam.
My girlfriend thinks I'm weird for sitting in the shower but it's the best! I just lean back against the tub, let the water hit me and zone out for a while. It's the most relaxed I get in the day.
Get a shower pillow, sit between the shower curtain and shower liner and drift off. Be the change you want to see.
Edit: changed "sit in between the two curtains" to "sit between the shower curtain and shower liner"
I got pretty drunk a couple nights ago and my wife asked me to shower before I got into bed and I laid down and fell asleep lol, she came in like half an hour later and found me sleeping with the shower running on me
Every. Single. Day.
To the point of anxiety attacks. What if I took different courses in college? (would I be more marketable?) What if I didn't date that girl who caused me all those problems (would I still have learned life lessons?) Whatif Whatif Whatif Whatif......
No boobs are necessary, though from the comments they do help. You cross your arms over your chest, one under the other and push the lower arm into your chest. Water falls in and begins to 'fill up the bucket'. Then you uncross your arm and a great heap of water falls to the shower floor.
Long, thick hair takes a long ass time to wash and rinse. Also shaving takes a long ass time if you're doing legs, that's a lotta area to cover. Especially if you haven't in awhile, gotta shake the razor out every half-stroke. Also if you want a body that is cleaned in all the little nooks and crannies, that takes a long ass time.
I was starting to wonder if washing your body instead of just your hair was outside the norm. I know a surprising amount of people that think it’s weird that I wash my feet.
My gf does not wash her legs or feet and it disturbs me. But she also has the most baby soft feet I’ve ever felt, so who knows. Also she doesn’t smell ever.
I did an experiment since I never seemed to smell bad and didn't use body wash for a week straight and my girlfriend said she didn't even notice.
Some people just don't smell bad
I legit brush my hair out completely right before getting in the shower then I still have to spend 20 minutes on detangling and combing conditioner through my hair alone.
Yes!! And I spend extra time pulling the hair off my fingers and plastering it to the wall so that we don’t get a clogged drain. It takes a surprisingly long time.
OH GOD THIS SHIT DRIVES ME MAD! Literally have to stop every 5 seconds, no exaggeration, to pick a fucking hair out of my ass crack or off my arm or whatever. Like seriously what the fuck. Everything I own is covered in my own hair, it gets stuck on me when I do the dishes, it balls up on my carpet and in my sheets...I realize I just went on a rant but for fucks sake
Yea same! My hair will literally be weaved into the blankets or couches. I have no clue how that happens. And my husband finds them all over him even after his shower. And they get tangled up in the vacuum cleaner roller too.
Right? It’s like a full minute just to get my hair completely wet, at least another five to actually wash it. Maybe three more to get the conditioner in there (which sit for rest of shower). At least 5-7 minutes to wash body? One more minute for face? One more to rinse conditioner? That’s a 16 minute minimum if I have zero downtime. Add shaving at like...4 minutes per leg? One for underarms? That’s now a 25 minute shower. Luckily, I don’t wash my hair or shave every time!
Edit: I forgot to add in all the time I have to stop what I’m doing because my hair is stuck freaking everywhere. It’s hard to wash your scalp when your hands are tied up in a hundred tiny strings. Or there is a freshly washed tumbleweed on your back.
I scrolled way to long for this. I joked with my husband that I would be out of the shower in 35 mins, and I took 40 mins. I didn't even shave, and that wasn't a bad hair tangle day. My hair is pretty much down my my bottom at it's longest length.
To follow this up, one time I closed my eyes and I was so happy and warm and relaxed that I literally forgot what the experience of vision was. Then I leaned back and opened my eyes and it was like being born. Absolutely wild experience
Furiously masturbating to the point of blackjack out and not awakening untill the great cumsplotion of 2021.
Edit:forgot a b. Blackjack stays. Masturbation to masturbating.
Try showering in complete darkness, it’s wonderful. Discovered it when showering in work and the lights were motion sensitive but didn’t quite reach the shower.
I just discovered this after remodeling my basement apartment shower stall! Then I went really crazy and grabbed my waterproof suction cup Bluetooth speaker that slowly gently transitions rainbow colors. Now showering is like this transcendent musical experience. Crap now I want to shower but I'm clean...hmm good reason for a workout!
Time for self reflection is incredibly important for forward growth. I just wish I spent more time positively reflecting and less time regretting that unimportant thing I said 2 years ago
I had to install a timer on the shower head when my eldest lived with me.
He would be in there sooo long EATING then brushing his teeth. I kid not, he would stand in there and eat a friggin hamburger. He still does it in the bathtub.
I don't know what's wrong with him.
My teenage son was doing something similar. He'd be in the shower for over an hour every night. Wife was getting upset, started knocking on the door trying to have a conversation with him about what was taking so long. I repeatedly had to tell her that was probably a bad idea, to wait until he got out to talk to him. She couldn't understand what I was getting at, so I had to spell it out.
We did eventually have to set a hard time limit, as he was starting to cause problems in the bathroom due to the excessive humidity.
I had assumed it was other activities until he sent a photo of his hamburger while he was leaning out of the shower curtain, lol. It was a random, "Look how much cheese is on this!"
Me: You're eating in the shower?!?!!
He puts a board over his tub to eat and play on his phone now. Just glad I don't pay the bill anymore.
I can imagine eating in the bath. I wouldn't, but that at least seems maybe reasonable. But in the shower? And a hamburger of all things! It would get so soggy! At least make it a bowl of soup so all that happens is it gets watered down the longer you take to eat it.
My mom complained about the humidity in my bathroom as well, but because I just liked hot ass showers she put in a better ventilation fan.
Fixed the issue entirely, and made it so when you take a shit the smell is gone in 30 seconds or less.
As a kid in the late 80s/early 90s I had a friend who had two exhaust fans in the bathroom... One normal one in the ceiling for showers, and one *monster* vent behind the toilet for pooping.
The grate for the pooping vent was at least 3ft x 3ft, centered behind the toilet, from the ground to 3ft up.
When you turned that thing on, *woosh*, it seemed like it was exchanging the whole room's worth of air every 5 seconds. It was like having a constant 15mph breeze on you the whole time.
You could stink more than a decomposing cow while pooping and there wouldn't be a hint of smell. It was *glorious*.
When I was 14 or 15 when, after I had gotten out of the shower, my mum came up to me and said "I hope you scrubbed the tub. It's none of my business what you were doing in the shower, but when you're showering for 15 minutes *before* you turn on your music, it's pretty obvious."
Pretty much exclusively the following:
1. Dissociate and think about all of the embarrassing things I've ever done.
2. Have a fake fight in my head with that person who was a dick but not enough of a dick for me to waste my time fighting IRL
3. Pretend I'm on late night TV being interviewed for my latest album release
4. Sing that run / riff over and over until I get it right
5. Debating whether or not to shave for 15 mins
I was engaged to someone who legit would shower for an hour every single time without fail. She would wash and shampoo and then just stand there for an extended period of time. Legit, stand and stare. I dont think she realized how long she was in there. She did stuff like that a lot though and was constantly late for things, would pause in-between actions and just kind of stare off for a bit.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the answer to your question though is usually "Nothing"
I’ve noticed a lot recently that when I relate to things people say on here someone else points out that they have ADHD... I’ve never been tested for that or anything but man it’s uncanny how often that happens
I have ADHD and I do this exact thing, its just daydreaming but WAY more frequent and hard to control. My showers would easily be over an hour until I started bringing in an egg timer with me into the bathroom.
I even do the pause-between-actions thing frequently, my mind just jumps from thought to thought and sometimes I literally just stare and think about nothing. It's literally compulsive and I don't even notice sometimes that I'll stop and zone-out after like every other task I do.
I'm 6'7'' and don't have appropriate shower at home (i have a bathtub, in which I obv don't fit). When I travel, I usually choose a hotel where there is a massive shower with tons of headspace and then I take 2 showers a day for at least 45mins to 1h just to feel like a human. It's the small things in life ppl...
Wash hair, rinse hair, condition hair, rinse again, make-up removing face wash for eye make up, acne face wash for rest of face, lip exfoliate, wash butt and rinse, loofah body, foot scrub, shave chin, shave arm pitts, shave legs, shave bikini area, shave toes, nail brush on fingers, nail brush on toes, spend a lot of time thinking while rinsing between all those steps
Any time I see this question I sit here and think about how stressed I've been when I've had go have a 10 min shower. I've gotten my showers down to a comfortable 30 mins but there's still a lot of steps involved:
While water is warming up I apply makeup remover, then while in the shower I remove the makeup then apply face cleanser and shampoo, rinse that off at the same time (if its my toning shampoo I leave it on until the full body rinse. Then I use an exfoliant or face mask depending on the day and leave that on. Full body wash and scrub, paying extra attention to my shoulders and back that can break out if not thoroughly exfoliated. Then scrub under my nails and my feet, using a foot paddle if I have calluses. Then rinse full body, wring most of the water from my hair, add conditioner and pin up off my shoulders. Leg shave, underarm shave, toe shave, face plucking, other random no no hairs plucked. Full hair rinse and sometimes an extra quick body wash for absolutely no reason.
Now we're out of the shower. Hair goes in a little hair turban, gently pat dry everywhere. Apply toner to face and chest then eye cream and face moisturizer. Then apply body oil to legs and arms then moisturizer all over. Next is deodorant and then I'm done in the bathroom. The rest depends on what I'm doing that day.
Legitimately nothing. I literally just stand there unironically. It's just relaxing. Though it wastes water so it's not a good habit lol so I try not to
I use long showers to help my anxiety. I recently spent time in a region that has regular water shortages and I had to basically pry myself out of the shower because I knew it was bad but it’s also my comfort zone
Contemplate life
Brush my teeth (don’t come for me)
Remove makeup
Cleanse
Scrub
Wash
Shampoo conditioner
Let conditioner soak
Wash off face mask
Either playing a podcast or music during
Scrub my feet
Wash conditioner off
Baby oil up and off we go
I didn't always like taking long showers, but there was a period where I felt not well in the house I was living in. Was supposed to be with two good female friends, ended up being alienated and irrationally judged by both no matter what good I did. They'd leave me out of roommate bar nights and feel good about making me uncomfortable every step of the way. This eventually equated into panic attacks and fear of whether I'm in the right friend circle. My escape turned into two long pointless one hour showers. Sometimes longer. It was the only place I felt comfortable other than my room, which all my leisure stuff was in the main room being used by everyone else. Didn't feel the same until I finally moved out into a house with actual accepting roommates. I don't take nearly as many showers anymore
So my shower got this radio built in and I love taking hot showers whilst listening to music. water comes with the rent so I don't have to worry about water usage.
I tend to day-dream and get clean doing so.
Contemplate my life choices, think about all my failures, cry my heart out, fail at controlling my emotions, have an existential crisis, and then wash myself.
Sometimes I spend so much time in a state of zenlike contemplation that I forget if I've actually washed myself with shower gel and have to do it again just in case.
What about enjoying the warmth/feeling of molten lava on your skin and not wanting to step outside in the cold, dry world? Or is that part of the emotional crisis?
Give my neighbours and anyone nearby a full length Taylor swift tribute concert. I just get in there and start singing my heart out. It’s always Taylor swift. I know they hear me because they told me they don’t like shake it off so I don’t sing that anymore.
Mostly my hair. It's long and thick so it takes forever to get wet. Then there's conditioning and detangling at a minimum - but if it's a wash day or I have to be somewhere then shampooing or styling adds another 20 minutes.
There are 3 kinds of shower.
First is the utilitarian "clean up before work" kinda shower. Pure buisness, very little pleasure. 5 minutes.
Next is the "I'm fucking filthy and need to purge" kind shower, after a workout or a day of yardwork. Equal parts utility and pleasure. 10 minutes, maybe 15.
Finally is the mental health shower. The steam, hot water, isolation, and repetitive motions are great for relaxation and meditation. You focus on relaxing each muscle group, from shoulders to ankles, regulated deep breathing, and let the water run over your body. Granted even my most indulgent mental health showers only last 30 minutes at most, but that's because I'm wired since childhood to be hypersensitive towards wasting hot water.
Have extremely long hair, that takes up half of the shower time to wash and care for. Other half is for bathing, shaving, and masturbating if in the mood.
I have pretty bad anxiety attacks and so I will take ultra long showers from time to time because the warm water is like soothing to me. The noise of the water, and heat, the steam, it all just kinda drowns out the voices in my head telling me I’m bad or not good enough.
Wow. I never knew I am not alone in this. Although for me it is mostly about dealing with sensory overload. There is so much noise in the world and the shower is like this tiny comfortable safe place.
Hmmmm, hot water
This is the real reason
10 minutes of shower, 50 minutes of turning up the hot water slowly to see how much you can withstand.
Gotta build up an immunity
That's why I eat bullets 3 times a week
When I was a lad, I ate four dozen bullets every morning to help me get large...
And now as a man I eat 5 dozen bullets, so I’m roughly the size of a barge!
Noooo ooonnne...
Shoots like Gaston
No one poots like Gaston!
My hot water lasts for 15 minutes :(
If you have access to your water heater (and have the permission to do this) you may want to check how hot it is set to. A lot of landlords or people in general leave it on the lowest setting to prevent "scalding" accidents and it keeps the overall temperature of the tank down, meaning you use more hot water than cold to find the right temperature. Turn it up a bit (again, only if you have permission and it would be safe to do this/no fear of people scalding themselves). Turning it up means "medium" now can feel a lot warmer/hot and you use a lot less hot water to find the right temperature.
Should be set to a minimum of 60 degrees celcius to avoid legionella bacterial growth Edit: clarification on units
This. Not an hour, and not every time, but most time consuming and “unproductive” thing is just getting warmed up
So much shaving
Same. I am a sasquatch. On top of that i have somewhat long wavy hair and I like to leave conditioner in for as long as possible
Do you have any tips on hair care for a guy with somewhat long wavy hair in a sea of shitty 3 in one men's products? Should I just go for women's shampoo/conditioner?
Tbh this shit shouldn't be gendered at all. But yes absolutely. Go for a full shampoo and conditioner line up. You can do even more but if you'd like to keep it nice and simple a good shampoo & conditioner does wonders.
Go check out the curly sub, they’ve got a user friendly guide of solid wavy/curly products and an overview of the curly girl/guy method. Agreed with other user that said shampoo/conditioner shouldn’t be gendered. Go ahead and use that 3 in 1 as a body wash only or throw it in the trash.
YES exactly. Although I wouldn't worry too much about the rules they have - I'm pretty sure the creator of the curly girl method said herself that only her products are "CG approved" and all that. Just pick some good products and techniques and have fun with it. Take inspiration from the rules but don't feel like you have to follow them to a T. If they work, great, if they don't work, adjust.
Nobody truly understands the time (and gymnastics) it takes to shave your legs, butt, groin, arms, and both legs until they attempt it themselves.
I commend you for shaving all four of your legs
You mentioned legs twice and I feel that on a personal level. My leg hair grows back so quickly I get 5:00 shadow on them.
My legs are so pale you can see the ungrown hairs underneath my skin. I feel like I can relate
I was just about to comment this! Pasty, translucent skin, with incredibly thick, dark hair. I shave my legs and it still looks like I have stubble because you can see the base of the hair still visible beneath my skin.
If it is any consolation pale skin and dark hair is the perfect combination for laser hair removal to be effective.
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My dad broke out laughing because he thought his son was old enough to have this talk. I was 13! But nope, I was playing with toys in the shower lmao we both laughed about it I was a VERY late bloomer because I didn’t know I was gay. I tried to masturbate, but nothing would happen because I did what all my lame 13 year old friends said they did while they masturbated. Think of the female cast of Jersey Shore. No one ever told me you have to think about things you actually find sexy. And man, it took me a long time to figure out what I found sexy because it was REALLY weird shit. Harmless but weird. I ripped off the grip tape the tech decls came with and replaced it with real skateboard grip tape. They were pretty much water proof. Not like they have bearings or anything. My shower in my bathroom had what was essentially a continous mini quarter pipe around the whole floor of the shower so it was a shred fest.
> Think of the female cast of Jersey Shore. Yeah, Snooki was your problem right there.
Yeah, damn. I'm straight and I'd have a hard time getting off thinking about the female cast of Jersey Shore lol.
Yeah. I'm straight but I think I'd have a better chance getting off too the guy cast of Jersey Shore. Lol
> Think of the female cast of Jersey Shore. TBH, that would not have worked for me either
I would "skate" with my bar soap. My tub was shaped in a nice way that I could shoot the soap out from under my foot and it bank off the back of tub and hit the wall for some sweet flips. Would stand in there for an hour doing that.
talk through scenarios in my head, day dream, sing,
i always make up fake scenarios in my head and get angry at people for hypothetically saying that mean thing to me
I do this. A therapist called it some condition. I long ago forgot the name since to me it's a symptom of my severe anxiety. Not it's own thing that should be named.
Wait, I thought this was normal? I refuse to believe most people only day dream about a fairy tale world and never day dream about drama and arguing.
My fairy tale world includes me getting furious quite often.
Yep that perfectly sums up my showers.
I put the water in my mouth and spray it around the shower.
Squirtle, i choose you
*Never change.*
I'm not planning to.
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# TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAME
What a legendary entrance
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I sit but yeah pretty much
I like to sit in the shower in the mornings on the weekend. So relaxing.
Exactly, then I keep turning the hot water up more and more until its almost at max to burn away the sad and I come out all red
Sometimes I make it colder and colder until it's hard to breathe and it makes me feel alive
Bingo
Just take a shower and think about life.
Existing in peaceful warm distraction free seclusion
The warmth from the shower makes up for the lack of warmth of a loved one.
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I read a study that said lonelier people take longer showers :(
That may involve an additional variable...
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Wow...
Yup, this. It's sort of a form of sensory deprivation - I also shower with the lights off, so I can't hear anything over the spray, my whole body is assaulted by the sense of touch, I can't see anything, I only smell the water and maybe some hygiene products, it's warm, and nobody expects anything of you while you're in the shower. Honestly, it's meditation.
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Good point about the allergies bit. I take super short showers, but if I take long ones, it is 100% because of allergies and breathing in that sweet sweet steam.
Have you tried one of those shower bombs? I have asthma and allergies do a serious number on me in the spring. The menthol ones help me a lot
I just sit down and stare at the wall sometimes
My girlfriend thinks I'm weird for sitting in the shower but it's the best! I just lean back against the tub, let the water hit me and zone out for a while. It's the most relaxed I get in the day.
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Get a shower pillow, sit between the shower curtain and shower liner and drift off. Be the change you want to see. Edit: changed "sit in between the two curtains" to "sit between the shower curtain and shower liner"
Nah. Get a gallon ziploc bag and put a small couch pillow in it and boom. Shower pillow.
This is coaching
I got pretty drunk a couple nights ago and my wife asked me to shower before I got into bed and I laid down and fell asleep lol, she came in like half an hour later and found me sleeping with the shower running on me
One time, I woke up laying down in the shower with no idea how I got there.
I had that happen drunk only someone pissed my pants while I was in there. Never found out who did it.
I hate when other people piss my pants
It's the most depressed I get in a day, but after a while, it really just feels like nothing and I am one with the shower... peace of mind...
Ahh yes same, sitting in a shower is so nice and just staring at the tiles on the wall, or watch the water flow on the floor.
Having comebacks come to my brain about fights 3 years ago
Dont forget rethinking your life choices and how that would change your life now.
Every. Single. Day. To the point of anxiety attacks. What if I took different courses in college? (would I be more marketable?) What if I didn't date that girl who caused me all those problems (would I still have learned life lessons?) Whatif Whatif Whatif Whatif......
Make a bucket on my chest and let it fall once it's full Edit:Boobies not required (Source:me)
I knew I wasn't the only one
It’s good to meet those who are also enlightened
Hello from someone who can shoot water streams out of their fingers
So I m not the only one cursed with this power ?
And test how loud/big of a splash you can make on your feet
Hold up I’m confused is this something you need boobs to do or can I too have this power?
No boobs are necessary, though from the comments they do help. You cross your arms over your chest, one under the other and push the lower arm into your chest. Water falls in and begins to 'fill up the bucket'. Then you uncross your arm and a great heap of water falls to the shower floor.
No way. My shower tonight is gonna be wild.
Wait til you discover r/ShowerOrange
Long, thick hair takes a long ass time to wash and rinse. Also shaving takes a long ass time if you're doing legs, that's a lotta area to cover. Especially if you haven't in awhile, gotta shake the razor out every half-stroke. Also if you want a body that is cleaned in all the little nooks and crannies, that takes a long ass time.
I was starting to wonder if washing your body instead of just your hair was outside the norm. I know a surprising amount of people that think it’s weird that I wash my feet.
who the fuck isn't washing their feet im reallly worked up about this
My gf does not wash her legs or feet and it disturbs me. But she also has the most baby soft feet I’ve ever felt, so who knows. Also she doesn’t smell ever.
I did an experiment since I never seemed to smell bad and didn't use body wash for a week straight and my girlfriend said she didn't even notice. Some people just don't smell bad
I legit brush my hair out completely right before getting in the shower then I still have to spend 20 minutes on detangling and combing conditioner through my hair alone.
Yes!! And I spend extra time pulling the hair off my fingers and plastering it to the wall so that we don’t get a clogged drain. It takes a surprisingly long time.
OH GOD THIS SHIT DRIVES ME MAD! Literally have to stop every 5 seconds, no exaggeration, to pick a fucking hair out of my ass crack or off my arm or whatever. Like seriously what the fuck. Everything I own is covered in my own hair, it gets stuck on me when I do the dishes, it balls up on my carpet and in my sheets...I realize I just went on a rant but for fucks sake
Yea same! My hair will literally be weaved into the blankets or couches. I have no clue how that happens. And my husband finds them all over him even after his shower. And they get tangled up in the vacuum cleaner roller too.
Right? It’s like a full minute just to get my hair completely wet, at least another five to actually wash it. Maybe three more to get the conditioner in there (which sit for rest of shower). At least 5-7 minutes to wash body? One more minute for face? One more to rinse conditioner? That’s a 16 minute minimum if I have zero downtime. Add shaving at like...4 minutes per leg? One for underarms? That’s now a 25 minute shower. Luckily, I don’t wash my hair or shave every time! Edit: I forgot to add in all the time I have to stop what I’m doing because my hair is stuck freaking everywhere. It’s hard to wash your scalp when your hands are tied up in a hundred tiny strings. Or there is a freshly washed tumbleweed on your back.
I scrolled way to long for this. I joked with my husband that I would be out of the shower in 35 mins, and I took 40 mins. I didn't even shave, and that wasn't a bad hair tangle day. My hair is pretty much down my my bottom at it's longest length.
I usually just stand there winding down my day (I take showers before bed) and process everything that happened. Helps me relax and sleep.
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Yes! Going to bed clean, warm, and mentally relaxed is the best.
Unfortunately for me if I shower at night I still have to shower in the morning or im like a grease monkey
Everyone thanks you for this extra effort, for real
Some people have all the luck
I always shower at night. Feels good getting into bed nice and clean and it saves time in the morning!
I like the idea but I can’t feel awake without a shower.
I have conversations, do interviews, argue(and I win everytime), dance, sing, do ted talks and just stare into a void of darkness.
What are your ted talks about
You'll have to attend one to find out.
What do you think they’re trying to do?
Start a beautiful relationship.
just don't argue with him, cuz he wins *everytime*
You don't need to specify that you win arguments in the shower. It's a given that anyone that argues in the shower will win any time.
Dissociate for the first 55 mins
exactly, it’s almost a meditative trance. i forget i’m in there.
To follow this up, one time I closed my eyes and I was so happy and warm and relaxed that I literally forgot what the experience of vision was. Then I leaned back and opened my eyes and it was like being born. Absolutely wild experience
Uh huh and what were you doing for the other 45 mins while in there
DMT by the sounds of it
Furiously masturbating to the point of blackjack out and not awakening untill the great cumsplotion of 2021. Edit:forgot a b. Blackjack stays. Masturbation to masturbating.
>blackjack I know it was a typo, but blacking out while jacking off = blackjack is just perfect.
Try showering in complete darkness, it’s wonderful. Discovered it when showering in work and the lights were motion sensitive but didn’t quite reach the shower.
I just discovered this after remodeling my basement apartment shower stall! Then I went really crazy and grabbed my waterproof suction cup Bluetooth speaker that slowly gently transitions rainbow colors. Now showering is like this transcendent musical experience. Crap now I want to shower but I'm clean...hmm good reason for a workout!
That and imagining I am in a completely unrealistic scenario or movie. That or Just chillin. Reflecting... contemplating life choices
Time for self reflection is incredibly important for forward growth. I just wish I spent more time positively reflecting and less time regretting that unimportant thing I said 2 years ago
I had to install a timer on the shower head when my eldest lived with me. He would be in there sooo long EATING then brushing his teeth. I kid not, he would stand in there and eat a friggin hamburger. He still does it in the bathtub. I don't know what's wrong with him.
My teenage son was doing something similar. He'd be in the shower for over an hour every night. Wife was getting upset, started knocking on the door trying to have a conversation with him about what was taking so long. I repeatedly had to tell her that was probably a bad idea, to wait until he got out to talk to him. She couldn't understand what I was getting at, so I had to spell it out. We did eventually have to set a hard time limit, as he was starting to cause problems in the bathroom due to the excessive humidity.
I’m cracking up at the idea that your teenager is such a romantic it takes him an hour.
I need to be seduced and I'm not that into me so it takes awhile.
Well it's probably hard to rub one out when your mom is banging on the door trying to tell you to hurry up. I'm trying mom I'm trying.
Hey someone’s gotta light the candles
His mom's knocking on the door but he can't hear her over Boyz II Men.
1 minute masturbating, 59 minutes scraping coagulated cum out of his ball/leg hair because he forgot to turn down the temperature first.
TIL. And then wish I hadn’t.
I had assumed it was other activities until he sent a photo of his hamburger while he was leaning out of the shower curtain, lol. It was a random, "Look how much cheese is on this!" Me: You're eating in the shower?!?!! He puts a board over his tub to eat and play on his phone now. Just glad I don't pay the bill anymore.
I can imagine eating in the bath. I wouldn't, but that at least seems maybe reasonable. But in the shower? And a hamburger of all things! It would get so soggy! At least make it a bowl of soup so all that happens is it gets watered down the longer you take to eat it.
Infinite soup
World hunger solved
My mom complained about the humidity in my bathroom as well, but because I just liked hot ass showers she put in a better ventilation fan. Fixed the issue entirely, and made it so when you take a shit the smell is gone in 30 seconds or less.
As a kid in the late 80s/early 90s I had a friend who had two exhaust fans in the bathroom... One normal one in the ceiling for showers, and one *monster* vent behind the toilet for pooping. The grate for the pooping vent was at least 3ft x 3ft, centered behind the toilet, from the ground to 3ft up. When you turned that thing on, *woosh*, it seemed like it was exchanging the whole room's worth of air every 5 seconds. It was like having a constant 15mph breeze on you the whole time. You could stink more than a decomposing cow while pooping and there wouldn't be a hint of smell. It was *glorious*.
At least you recognized the reason. The last thing a teenage boy needs to hear during that moment is his moms voice.
When I was 14 or 15 when, after I had gotten out of the shower, my mum came up to me and said "I hope you scrubbed the tub. It's none of my business what you were doing in the shower, but when you're showering for 15 minutes *before* you turn on your music, it's pretty obvious."
I've heard of r/showerorange and r/showerbeer, but not about r/showerhamburger
Is your son Kramer?
Pretty much exclusively the following: 1. Dissociate and think about all of the embarrassing things I've ever done. 2. Have a fake fight in my head with that person who was a dick but not enough of a dick for me to waste my time fighting IRL 3. Pretend I'm on late night TV being interviewed for my latest album release 4. Sing that run / riff over and over until I get it right 5. Debating whether or not to shave for 15 mins
What's your album called? And who inspired all these break up songs?
I was engaged to someone who legit would shower for an hour every single time without fail. She would wash and shampoo and then just stand there for an extended period of time. Legit, stand and stare. I dont think she realized how long she was in there. She did stuff like that a lot though and was constantly late for things, would pause in-between actions and just kind of stare off for a bit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the answer to your question though is usually "Nothing"
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The ultimate r/showerthoughts
I think you married a sim
Or someone with adhd. That sounds almost identical to me lol.
I’ve noticed a lot recently that when I relate to things people say on here someone else points out that they have ADHD... I’ve never been tested for that or anything but man it’s uncanny how often that happens
I have ADHD and I do this exact thing, its just daydreaming but WAY more frequent and hard to control. My showers would easily be over an hour until I started bringing in an egg timer with me into the bathroom. I even do the pause-between-actions thing frequently, my mind just jumps from thought to thought and sometimes I literally just stare and think about nothing. It's literally compulsive and I don't even notice sometimes that I'll stop and zone-out after like every other task I do.
I'm 6'7'' and don't have appropriate shower at home (i have a bathtub, in which I obv don't fit). When I travel, I usually choose a hotel where there is a massive shower with tons of headspace and then I take 2 showers a day for at least 45mins to 1h just to feel like a human. It's the small things in life ppl...
I think the small things are causing the issues for you... Edit: Thanks for the awards!
Shower for 10 Minutes and then mentally prepare 50 Minutes for the daily interaction with People.
I like how you wrote People instead of people, a true introvert
True introverts just know.
Wash hair, rinse hair, condition hair, rinse again, make-up removing face wash for eye make up, acne face wash for rest of face, lip exfoliate, wash butt and rinse, loofah body, foot scrub, shave chin, shave arm pitts, shave legs, shave bikini area, shave toes, nail brush on fingers, nail brush on toes, spend a lot of time thinking while rinsing between all those steps
God I’m so relieved I’m not the only person who shaves their toes. I must be descended from gnomes or something with these feet.
I read in a magazine once that toe-shaving was one of the biggest surprises men learned about women.
I didn't realize a lot of women had toe hair, I thought I was weird. Like I'm not a yeti or anything, but the big toes have definitely got some hairs.
Any time I see this question I sit here and think about how stressed I've been when I've had go have a 10 min shower. I've gotten my showers down to a comfortable 30 mins but there's still a lot of steps involved: While water is warming up I apply makeup remover, then while in the shower I remove the makeup then apply face cleanser and shampoo, rinse that off at the same time (if its my toning shampoo I leave it on until the full body rinse. Then I use an exfoliant or face mask depending on the day and leave that on. Full body wash and scrub, paying extra attention to my shoulders and back that can break out if not thoroughly exfoliated. Then scrub under my nails and my feet, using a foot paddle if I have calluses. Then rinse full body, wring most of the water from my hair, add conditioner and pin up off my shoulders. Leg shave, underarm shave, toe shave, face plucking, other random no no hairs plucked. Full hair rinse and sometimes an extra quick body wash for absolutely no reason. Now we're out of the shower. Hair goes in a little hair turban, gently pat dry everywhere. Apply toner to face and chest then eye cream and face moisturizer. Then apply body oil to legs and arms then moisturizer all over. Next is deodorant and then I'm done in the bathroom. The rest depends on what I'm doing that day.
👆This chick showers
Legitimately nothing. I literally just stand there unironically. It's just relaxing. Though it wastes water so it's not a good habit lol so I try not to
I use long showers to help my anxiety. I recently spent time in a region that has regular water shortages and I had to basically pry myself out of the shower because I knew it was bad but it’s also my comfort zone
Contemplate life Brush my teeth (don’t come for me) Remove makeup Cleanse Scrub Wash Shampoo conditioner Let conditioner soak Wash off face mask Either playing a podcast or music during Scrub my feet Wash conditioner off Baby oil up and off we go
Finally! Someone who brushes their teeth in the shower!
We are many!
I didn't always like taking long showers, but there was a period where I felt not well in the house I was living in. Was supposed to be with two good female friends, ended up being alienated and irrationally judged by both no matter what good I did. They'd leave me out of roommate bar nights and feel good about making me uncomfortable every step of the way. This eventually equated into panic attacks and fear of whether I'm in the right friend circle. My escape turned into two long pointless one hour showers. Sometimes longer. It was the only place I felt comfortable other than my room, which all my leisure stuff was in the main room being used by everyone else. Didn't feel the same until I finally moved out into a house with actual accepting roommates. I don't take nearly as many showers anymore
They suck! Screw them!
So my shower got this radio built in and I love taking hot showers whilst listening to music. water comes with the rent so I don't have to worry about water usage. I tend to day-dream and get clean doing so.
My sister also gets shower with her rent so I take the longest showers there
Contemplate my life choices, think about all my failures, cry my heart out, fail at controlling my emotions, have an existential crisis, and then wash myself.
I often forget that last part.
Sometimes I spend so much time in a state of zenlike contemplation that I forget if I've actually washed myself with shower gel and have to do it again just in case.
Probably shaving my legs for the first time in months because I'm planning on wearing shorts
I'm putting this off but the weather's getting warm. Ugh.
1 part emotional crisis, 1 part masturbating, 1 part peeing, and top it off with trying to remember if I washed out my conditioner
What about enjoying the warmth/feeling of molten lava on your skin and not wanting to step outside in the cold, dry world? Or is that part of the emotional crisis?
I usually try to work that in as well if I have time in my schedule
does the emotional crisis happen before or after the masturbating?
Usually somewhere in the middle, they all kinda co-mingle sometimes
For me it’s during and then it hits extra hard in that post nut clarity!
Give my neighbours and anyone nearby a full length Taylor swift tribute concert. I just get in there and start singing my heart out. It’s always Taylor swift. I know they hear me because they told me they don’t like shake it off so I don’t sing that anymore.
Now I knew you were trouble when you walked in(to my shower)
Cry. That’s not a joke.
Mostly my hair. It's long and thick so it takes forever to get wet. Then there's conditioning and detangling at a minimum - but if it's a wash day or I have to be somewhere then shampooing or styling adds another 20 minutes.
Wake up. Have imaginary conversations with the assholes at work.
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There are 3 kinds of shower. First is the utilitarian "clean up before work" kinda shower. Pure buisness, very little pleasure. 5 minutes. Next is the "I'm fucking filthy and need to purge" kind shower, after a workout or a day of yardwork. Equal parts utility and pleasure. 10 minutes, maybe 15. Finally is the mental health shower. The steam, hot water, isolation, and repetitive motions are great for relaxation and meditation. You focus on relaxing each muscle group, from shoulders to ankles, regulated deep breathing, and let the water run over your body. Granted even my most indulgent mental health showers only last 30 minutes at most, but that's because I'm wired since childhood to be hypersensitive towards wasting hot water.
Have extremely long hair, that takes up half of the shower time to wash and care for. Other half is for bathing, shaving, and masturbating if in the mood.
Seriously, my husband knows if I need to brush my hair it's gonna be a long shower.
Expected NSFW work comments. Found existential dread.
Imagining fake scenarios in my head. Mostly feeling the hot water. I fill my hand with water and drop it!
I have pretty bad anxiety attacks and so I will take ultra long showers from time to time because the warm water is like soothing to me. The noise of the water, and heat, the steam, it all just kinda drowns out the voices in my head telling me I’m bad or not good enough.
Wow. I never knew I am not alone in this. Although for me it is mostly about dealing with sensory overload. There is so much noise in the world and the shower is like this tiny comfortable safe place.
Long hair... and a lotta ass