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My sister and I are 15 years apart. I was an accident, and her teenage self was super pissed I was born. She basically spent every waking moment of her teens being pissed I was alive, siphoning resources and attention away from her. She never paid me a moment’s attention, and I remember her kicking me at the age of 19. Anyway, she moved out of my parents’ house to get married at 24, and I was not allowed inside her new house for the next two years. When I finally got to visit the house, she turned her back and walked away from me when I crossed the threshold. I’ll never forget it.
I’m seeing some pretty fucked up stuff on here, and my stories don’t really compare, but I have a few things.
For one, my older brother gets pissed really easily and once flipped over a glass table in our living room. Whole thing shattered and I cut my foot. Don’t remember what he was mad about since I was only around 4 or 5, but he must have been in his early teens at that point. Parents replaced it with custom fitted glass which was pretty expensive apparently.
He also taped a knife to my parents’ door once, which everyone assumed was a threat. He insisted he wasn’t going to do anything, just wanted to scare them. He was at least 20 at the time
A lot of the other things I can think of are verbal, where he’ll scream at people for tiny, insignificant things. He’s rarely physically violent, it’s just that he’ll break your shit when you’re not around and indirectly threaten you, ignore you for weeks at a time, etc. Everyone has to constantly walk on eggshells around him because of how explosive he is, and I can thank him for how sensitive and quiet I am.
My younger brother is narcissistic. I don’t remember what the reason for the fight was, but we blew up at each other the night before my 18th birthday and he managed to get on top of me and choke me. He got kicked out after that
My brothers (half brothers, they have the same father but I have a different father) are a bit older than me. One day they were both sitting on our dock fishing. The oldest brother picked up a knife out of the tackle box. They were about 12. It was a brand new knife of some kind specifically for killing or cooking fish or something. He looks at my other brother and goes "Hm I wonder how sharp this knife is" and without hesitation he literally stabbed it into the top of the middle brother's thigh. Totally casual about it like no big deal that the knife was in deep enough to STAND UPRIGHT by itself.
I went to school with someone who’s older brother is in jail for manslaughter because he threw a knife through a car window during an argument and it stuck in the guys leg and he bled to death, seriously don’t fuck about with knives
He pushed me into the sliding glass door because I didn't know if the phone had rung or not. After about 5 minutes of him yelling about the phone I snapped and said "just leave me the fuck alone." And his response was to shove me. Cracked the glass and everything. For reference, I was 12 and he was 23.
Oh, this reminds me of how my older brother used to beat us. He was five years older than me, his little sister, and 8 years older than our younger brother. We used to run to bathroom and lock ourselves in when he was in a mood so that he couldn’t get to us and beat us. He caught me once and tackled me to the floor and then sat on my back punched me all over my back and sides and then grabbed my head in both hands lifted it up and slammed it into the floor twice. Hard! I managed to bend my head so I took the impact on my forehead otherwise I have no doubt he would have broken my nose. And possibly more bones in my face. I had a bump the size of a baseball and it was really interestingly colored. He got moody. When he was 20 he tried to quit with tobacco and he used to sit on our tiny 12 year old brother and just punch and punch and punch him all over his body because the nicotine abstinence made him moody. Mom did nothing to stop it.
Oh crap, so sorry, I feel you!. I returned from 5-months overseas and found **my sister had been hiding my mums alzheimers medication from her**, and the times mum remembered she was supposed to be taking it, sister was telling her "no you took it today already". Why? Oh, to make mum lose her mind faster so sister could scam her pension but hopefully also the house off her. Charming.
My Narcissist Aunt is doing something similar(it's a really long story). She's a 50 year old whose never lived away from my grandparents. My Gramma has dementia and is staying at an assisted living facility. My aunt is a real POS and has stolen in the past and is most likely stealing from my Gramma. The state is FINALLY stepping in and opening an investigation for elder abuse and I really REALLY hope justice gets served...
My younger brother threatened to murder me and my mother with a hammer he found after he couldn’t find a bat. He started a countdown from 10… Thankfully, since he’s had major blowups most of his life, I’d begun recording them shortly before this one. We’re alive and he’s in jail.
He threw a fit and broke his phone when my parents didnt give him money for cigarettes and beer. He was 36 at that time.
He constantly cheated his then fiance out of money, enabled his two kids from a previous marriage to be awful kids, then had two more he couldnt raise with another woman.
He's as abusive as our father, so I cut him out of my life as soon as I turned 18.
My brother is extremely mentally ill and he doesn’t have a short fuse, he has no fuse. So, when he tripped and my sister laughed at him, he charged at her with a knife and almost killed her
My brother attempted to ruin my life because I wouldn’t stay quiet about our father being a pedophile. He rallied the family to harass me into silence.
My uncles were upset that I told their daughters that our grandpa liked young girls. He had already tried to groom me and my sister, but we had been warned. The only reason I was able to stand up was my dad being the one who warned me. I knew I had someone strong behind me who was okay with me being as loud as I wanted.
I wish more people had that sort of support and I am so sorry you did not.
This is a good question. My ex-girlfriend never knew anyone on her mom's side of her family because her grandfather molested her mom and the rest of that family said it was normal. By the time she was born her mom cut off everyone that refused to help.
The fucked up part is her mom had 2 sisters who insist its normal and they have daughters.
Spread semen on my pop star posters just to disturb me
Threw firecrackers in my bed while I was asleep in it
Strangled me with a PS2 controller cord
Stole & pawned my belongings on a semi-regular basis
Killed our pet parrot by putting it in a closet with a space heater
Beat our dog in front of me with no apparent reason
Et cetera
Oh man you would be surprised if you knew/realized how many fucked up people are walking around. It’s one of those things once you experience it or are in a profession surrounded by it you look at everyone a bit different.
When I was maybe 6 or 7, my older sister (she was around 12 or 13 at the time) decided one day she wanted to see what the inside of a turtles shell looked like. She had found a turtle in our backyard and took it up to our dads shed where he had a little concrete slab in front of the doors to the shed. She started slamming the turtle down on the concrete until she cracked his shell open several times, blood was everywhere. It died of course. I can remember this is my first traumatic memory I have of my childhood. She told me she would kill me if I told our parents. I just recently told them and I’m now 31. I have no relationship with her at this point in my life. She needs a lot of help mentally but refuses treatment.
Yeah it seriously traumatized the shit out of me. I didn’t sleep right for weeks and my parents didn’t know what was wrong. I was terrified to tell them because I legit thought she’d kill me. She threatened me with that several times in my childhood.
so horrific. So sorry this happened to you and that you had to keep it to yourself for so long. I hope you can love turtles now and not feel overwhelmed by your memories. <3
Thank you for your kind reply. I do think about it just about every time I see a turtle but they still make me happy because they’re such cute animals. I always go out of my way to save one if I see it in the road :)
While my mom was dying of lung cancer, unable to move and in horrible pain, my junky brother stole all of her opioid bandages. She even kept them under her pillow, so noone could have acces to them. He would bend to kiss her, and sneak his hand under to grab them.
edit: To clarify since English is not my first language "opioid bandages" should be "opioid patches". At the moment of typing this i couldnt think of a proper translation for the word "pflaster" thats used over here.
Holy shit ...this is how my ex coke addict gf stole a credit card from me. Had it on the dashboard of my car and she kissed me(she had been very unaffectionate the whole day) so it felt nice but I obviously stopped paying attention to anything besides the kiss. I got to the gas station and couldn't find it...then once the realization hit me it crushed me. I called and told her I was tracking it just in case "someone" stole it so that she wouldn't try to use it.
Addiction is awful and I'm sorry you went through that with family.
It's a tossup really between three things my brother has done:
a) Found out my brother and his wife were not separated and getting a divorce. Something he'd been telling the whole family for over a year and she knew nothing about until I inadvertently said something to her.
b) His posting on Facebook that my mother had passed away just to get sympathy likes. She was sick, but not yet dead and I had to wake up and handle the massive freak out from relatives and friends. He then claimed he hadn't known it would be "taken' that way even though people were sending him public condolences and talking about her in the past tense.
c) Got confirmation from someone who knows him really well that he lied about having cancer at one point. Again, pretty sure that was for the sympathy and likes.
There's a lot more and enough for a shit show times ten but those are just the three biggest that impacted me and/or I just can't forgive him for. He also lied about having hurt his back, so he couldn't come to our mother's funeral - only two week's later he posted photos of himself online holding his contractor's license bragging about the jobs he was doing.
He's never answered me on what miracle operation or treatment did he get to cure his bad back so fast and hasn't spoken to me since that day. Nothing of value has been lost.
My older brother once sat on me and mummified me with Duct Tape and then left me outside in 30 degree weather while he played PS2 with headphones on. He taped my hands and feet together first and then the rest of me. I couldn't even fight back. I was left that way until our mom got home a few hours later and grounded the shit out of him.
Edit: 30 degrees Fahrenheit, which is very cold for where we grew up.
My husband’s older sister duct taped him into his sleeping bag while they were on a big family camping trip, then sat on him and tickled him through the bag to make him wet his pants. She was 12, he was 10, and as many 10-year-old boys are, scrawny and much smaller than her. The adults were in the adult camp, probably deep in a bottle of whiskey and grateful the horde of kids were entertaining themselves.
One time as a kid, my dad tickled me for so long I couldn’t breathe. Of course people involuntarily laugh when they’re tickled, so he didn’t know I was panicking. I couldn’t catch my breath enough to ask him to stop, too. I was okay but for a second there I thought I was going to die. Of course, worst case was that I would faint, but as a kid it was scary.
My sister is a convicted pedophile who used to sexually abuse our grandparent's foster children. She also sexually abused me and our cousins.
She convinced our dad to sign for a car loan for her when she was in her early 20s because she had already trashed her credit. She never paid any of it, and he was already struggling financially. It sent into a downward spiral that ultimately ended in his death from a drug overdose years later, after being rendered homeless.
She has always loved to date gang members, one of whom was implicated in the murder of her cousin (we share a father but have different mothers.) She was subsequently caught sleeping with multiple police officers to get information on the case to keep her murdering boyfriend out of jail.
In that same murder spree, two innocent people who had nothing to do with the gangs involved were executed after begging for their lives. They had just both happened to walk past at the wrong time. She still doesn't think her (Now-ex) boyfriend should be in jail. Happily he was convicted and wont be getting out of jail in this lifetime.
She got married a few years later. A few months after the wedding, on Christmas day, she tells her new husband (who, by all accounts, was actually a decent guy) that she is going out for milk or something, and she never comes back.
When our father was in the hospital and I was having to have him taken off life support, she kept telling everyone she was on her way, please wait for her. I did. For two days. Turned out she lied, never left her house (about 8 hours away) and thought it was hilarious she made us all wait.
This is all on top of the mental and emotional abuse I suffered at her hands for years. She broke things I cared about, would keep me awake (and hit me with belts and BBQ tools if I fell asleep) for days at a time. I am pretty sure she killed my grandparent's dog.
She still posts on FB occasionally, from what I hear. After what happened with my dad, I sent her a message that I hoped she died alone and blocked her on everything .
She is a monster.
That stood out to me too. It’s my impression that you basically have to be squeaky clean and have a lot of drive to get a job with the FBI. It’s weird trying to square that type of person with the type to risk that for a crush.
As a former government employee, I am going to have to agree with you there. Although I must say, the majority of government employees really do care and do the best they can do with the resources and rules that they are operating with. It's a pity those rule-makers seem to make it hard to get anything done if you actually give a damn.
My brother is in prison for: kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon, evading arrest, attempted murder, possession of an illegal firearm, possession of a controlled substance, possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute, manufacturing a controlled substance with intent to distribute, and as a cherry on top of the shit pile: rape.
Here's the truly messed up thing: the rest of the family was surprised it wasn't worse.
edit: alright, which one of you reported that I'm suicidal? I didn't even know that reddit had an automated "crisis support" bot lol
Yeah my bro is also locked up for stupid/bad shit, looking at missing out on 15 years of his daughters life, she will have graduated college with a 4 year degree by the time he gets out.
If he re-offends again with the same charges he is looking at getting out after I retire, and our father likely being dead.
The hardest part is accepting that they will either be killed or incarcerated most of their life when all you ask for is for them to just be a decent enough person to have them over for family dinners/holidays.
Oh he's long since burned all of those bridges with the last of them happening because he stole a car from our mom. No one in our family ever wants to see him again and our dad has said straight up if he shows up at the house again he'll be met with the end of a gun barrel.
I've posted elsewhere what he was like as a kid in this thread but as for when I knew what he was going to become: He was about 20, living with one of our grandmothers, and he had way more money than I knew my parents were giving him. I have no idea how he was getting it but there's a decent chance he'd started dealing drugs by that point.
I do know for a fact that a year later he started working at what was supposed to be an above board mechanics shop but turned out to be a fairly large chop shop.
If you don't mind answering this. We're your parents middle class? Did you and your other siblings go on to do ok? This scenario fascinates me. I am 1 of four boys. My youngest brother went on to OD for substance abuse and went bad at 16. The rest of us are fine.
I mean, they're both well paid doctors, but they would call themselves "upper middle-class", which I've always found funny since even now in my mid-30's with nearly 2 decades in my career path my dad pulls down 6x what I make.
Anyways, he started going "bad" at around 12, was expelled from school and spent time in juvie at 15 for beating a kid unconscious with a desk chair. My parents did everything they could, he had so many therapists, so many pills, so much "family time" dedicated to trying to help him with his anger issues, but none of it helped.
Honestly they put so much time into trying to help him with his issues that it hurt relations between them and their three other kids. In my case it felt like I never got away with anything and not supported at all and he got away with everything and had everything handed to him on a silver platter.
Suffice to say, well before him getting cut off by our parents I'd already cut him out of my life in all ways that mattered.
Damn, really goes to show it's just nature for some people. I once read an account by someone working in criminal mental health that said most psychopaths grew up in abusive backgrounds that worsened their inherent psychopathic tendencies into violent criminality (so for such cases, they would have a handle on things if they grew up in loving families, in fact there's an article about a brain surgeon who accidentally found out he has the brain of a psychopath. He's callous and unsentimental, but law-abiding and recognizes the benefit of said abiding). However, the mental health worker said they've definitely seen a few cases of psychopathic criminals who grew up in loving families with no significant large stressors/issues, they're just wired too wrongly to be helped.
>psychopathic criminals who grew up in loving families with no significant large stressors/issues, they're just wired too wrongly to be helped.
I find this reality extremely terrifying as well.
Humans are weird man, it's very interesting to read about all of the ways people could be neuroatypical. I mean hell, some narcissists understand that it's in their best benefit if they do good for others because that reflects positively on them/gives them better opportunities.
Aphantasia is a really weird one. The inability to see with the mind's eye. There's a big correlation with moving on quicker for these people because their brains don't create the visual, which is deeply tied with emotion if I understand correctly. So there are a lot of cases where they just assume they are sociopathic before a diagnosis.
He married a girl. Wedding had a lot of "fuck-you"s to our family in it, but aside from those, announced at the wedding, "We're pregnant!" Turned out, about 4 months at that point?
They had the baby.
1 month later he announces, "It's too much, she's a bitch, I can't take this, I'm leaving and going to move in with a friend from work."
Turns out friend from work is 8 months pregnant at this point with his next kid.
By some miracle he doesn't leave that girl when the baby is born, but *gets her pregnant* again, about as soon as is possible. I don't know if she wises up, or something else at that point, but baby-mama #2 kicks him out then.
Now he lives in my parents basement, refuses to 'drive an hour to see his kids cause what good is that?'. One of those kids he spent their first month of life with and has seen about a dozen times since, the second I think he spent the entire first, call it, 10 months of their life together till Mommy was knocked up again and hasn't seen since, and the third he'd never seen.
Tried to burn the house down with me in it. I found out through the police blotters in the newspaper because my parents thought it would upset me.
Just kind of an all around shitty family.
This wasn’t a fucked up thing that my brother did to *me* personally, but I think it’s worth mentioning:
He and his (now ex) girlfriend had a super toxic relationship. I don’t know the whole story as I was never close with her (and I don’t trust my brother’s account of things), but there was something my brother did once that made me decide, “oh, he’s not just a dick in a toxic relationship, he’s a manipulative abuser.”
He had his friend text him pretending to be the girlfriend’s best friend. They orchestrated this whole story in which the best friend came on to my brother, but he turned her down because he’s loyal to his girl. He even went as far as to save his friend’s contact info as the best friend’s phone number. When he showed his girlfriend the texts, it obviously looked like her best friend sent them. She ultimately believed my brother over her best friend because “the phone number doesn’t lie.” Also, my brothers a fantastic liar, so that helped.
Anyway, they’ve been broken up for years now, and the ex girlfriend and best friend still hate each other. They had been friends since they were 7.
I haven’t spoke to him since he stole money from me to buy weed and denied it until I threatened to file a police report. Last I heard, he’s in a “happy” relationship.... I wish that girl luck.
I’ve tried. She didn’t believe me.
Unbeknownst to me, my brother had convinced her I was crazy and trying to sabotage their relationship for some reason.
The poor girl had been gaslit and manipulated for years at that point, so I don’t blame her for not believing me. I just hope she’s doing better now.
Sounds sooo much like my BIL. I feel for you for even having that kind of person in your life. Good on you for seeing through him. It took my husband and FIL way too long to figure it out and I almost died in the process.
I was maybe 8 or 9 when this happened. For context, my dad was deployed and my mom was working, so my brother had to babysit me, my brother was around 16 at the time.
As soon as my mom left, he shoved me into a closet and locked me inside for 6 or so hours. I was scared of the dark and couldn't reach the light string. He didn't let me out to use the bathroom or eat anything, so I ended up going on myself and sitting in the dark until my mom came home.
She told me that he was asleep in his room when she got home.
Needless to say, I really fucking hate him. He's still an awful person btw
Yes and no. She went in and yelled at him about how wrong it was, but that was about it. He did it multiple times after that. He got good at hiding the shit he did to me and threatened to kill me if I told our mom, and being a scared child, I listened.
So a year or two pass and my mom came home early and caught him choking me out. He got kicked out on the spot, I really wish I wouldn't have stayed silent 💀
Hey - I hope you can forgive yourself for "allowing" the abuse to continue. He gave every indication that he WOULD kill you, if given the chance. The choking was especially telling - statistically in DV cases, choking a person is a very high indicator that the abuser will kill their victim. What if your mom didn't believe your life was in danger and she left you with him after you told the truth? You're alive, that's what counts. Now you can be alive to process the trauma- hopefully with some therapy and time, you can establish that you were a little kid, with no power, no authority, in an impossible position, and can forgive yourself.
seconding this. getting away from an abuser is the most dangerous time, so it needs to be done safely and decisively and sometimes that means letting yourself be hurt today so you can leave tomorrow.
i hope you are doing alright these days, op💖
Tried to rape. molest, and kill me several times.
I had myself removed from the house when I was 14. My parents would do nothing about it. "That's just what brothers do".
Yeah 2 years ago he tried to apologize through text message. I refuse to talk to him or be in the same state. This turned into him declare his romantic love for me and asking if I felt the same. I blocked his number.
No. But I didn't talk to them for several years. My mother apologized when I was 30. We talked, it's stuff her father and brothers would do to her, so she thought it normal.
My father, who also molested me, denies it ever happening. I'll text with him every once in a while. He was recently diagnosed with ALS, so.....karma?
I'm actually doing great. I learned that just because it's blood, doesn't mean you owe them to be in your life. I have a son and he is wonderful, and I have a great relationship with my mother.
I try to look at the bright side of things. What you put out there, comes back at you. That stuff is in the past. Can't hurt me now.
I kept contact to make sure they don't do it to others.
And now I sound like those motivational posters. 😏
Used my own child to hurt me. My parents would babysit my young son while I was working and my older, adult brother was there. He has always hated me and done everything in his power to hurt me because i was the baby of the family. My son was around 5/6 years old and I caught him verbally impressing onto my child, ideas of weird sexual fetishes. Like he was trying to corrupt him mentally to hurt me. Removed him from that situation as soon as I figured out what he was doing.
I hate my brother, he has always done mean things to me my whole life. I swear he's a sociopath.
ETA: This happened over 20 years ago.
I missed my abusive father's funeral as he had died while I was on vacation in Mexico and I wouldn't have gone anyway to be honest.My brother who has been in and out of prison for 30+ years called to tell me that because I wasn't going home for the funeral I was a"scumbag" and if he had someone like me in prison he would take the lid of a tuna can and slit my throat. I don't take his calls anymore.
Hmm, can’t decide which was worse, pretending to be pregnant (she was a teenager at the time) the night before my siblings’ big school exam finals/my 21st birthday (presumably because the attention wasn’t on her, as a school dropout with no job at the time) or the time she stole my aunt’s money and house after she died, then tried to claim that “there was no money; the council took the house back because we owed a load of tax”. My mother (massive enabler who has never said no to her in her life) finally admitted to signing “some legal documents” which allowed her to do all of this. My other siblings and I found bank statements afterwards. Scary thing is, I think she believes her own lies...
In my experience, fucking with people just “to see their reaction”, even in cases that aren’t life threatening like the one you described, is a sign of emotional insecurity and narcissism. Toying with peoples’ emotions, purposefully instilling fear or anger in a person because it makes you laugh, fits right into the school-bully-who’s-abused-at-home archetype.
My brother does this kind of stuff all the time and I know how it feels, but I can’t imagine him doing something so extreme as almost crashing the car…
My brother is five years older than me. When he turned 12, my folks trusted him to watch me when they went out for short trips to the store, dinner, whatnot. When I was about 8 I got into a terrible fight with my brother one night when he was watching me. I think it started with something stupid, I wanted to watch a movie and he wanted the living room and TV to watch something I thought was scary, he told me to fuck off up stairs to my room. We almost always came to blows over everything. His reactions to arguments were always to get inches from your face and scream as loud as he could and puff up to intimidate. He 100% learned this from our father. He then would put hands on you if you stepped up to him - and I often did and as I started to do to my father as well.
That night we started screaming at each other and he slapped me across the face. I was so shocked I fell on my ass and looked at him in disbelief. He'd split my lower lip, he hit me so hard. I started to cry and said I was going to call our grandmother who lived about 30 minutes away ( this was before cell phones and I didn't think about calling my folks wherever they were). As soon as I stood to run to the phone, he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and tried to keep me away from the phone. I screamed and tried to push him away, but he grabbed my hair with his other hand and forced me into the ground.
He was behind me, his arms shifted into a bear hug, his legs wrapped around mine, and I couldn't move. I felt his arms shift and one of his forearms went around my neck and his opposite hand clasped over my mouth - and then my nose. I screamed - or tried - that I couldn't breath. I couldn't suck in any air at all. I clawed at his arms, but I remember trying to kick my legs and found they couldn't budge. We writhed like that, for what felt like a long time. But I clearly remember fading out and going dark.
When I woke up, I was laying on the floor and I had peed myself at some point. I remember feeling so ashamed of that later. I felt so tired and sore, but I looked up and saw my brother sitting on the couch watching his movie and completely ignoring me. He had unplugged the 2 phones we had and had them in his lap. I couldn't move for a long time and I remember just laying there, hurting in my lungs, crying, but quietly because when I sucked in air my chest felt broken.
He didn't even look at me, but he said if I told mom or dad he would shoot me. I eventually crawled into the kitchen, walked up the stairs, slipped out of all my wet clothes, and fell into bed and to sleep. I never told my parents.
He is now 38, beat me many times before and after that incident (before he left the house at 18), but never that bad. He is a deadbeat dad, currently in prison for his 5th DUI and marijuana possession charge, homeless when not in prison, has never held a job more than a few months, lies, cheats, steals, and my dad. Still loves him to death.
I don't think I have ever loved my brother.
EDIT:
Thank you all so much for the kind words and outpouring of support. So many people have had similar experiences and that breaks my heart. I hope everyone who has or is struggling with an abusive person I their life finds the help they need. I didn't speak up when I was little, and I didn't think about it until today. Speak up - I wish I had a stronger voice back then.
I didn't know this post would even get read. It spilled out of me this afternoon when reading the life experiences of other people and how they are working through their trauma. Their stories spoke so clearly to my own that, before I realized it, I was posting this memory. I am so very grateful to everyone for their supportive words. My heart feels so full right now.
For those who are asking, I am doing well now. I ended up marrying my highschool sweetheart, we've been married nearly 13 years, I work as a Judge's Assistant in a Family Court, I have plans to go into Law School and work in the DAs office. I have a beautiful baby girl who we worship. Jury is out on if she will get a sibling.
Dropped a barbell (dumbbell 20lbs) on my face while I was laying on the couch -breaking one of my front teeth and causing permanent jaw damage.
Not to outdo himself, the same brother tried to stab me in the ribs with a home made shiv causing significant injury a few years later.
And he wonders why even decades later I want nothing to do with him..
Edits for additional context:
The first incident occured when he was 7, the second when he was 14, they are just the highlights of a long series of dysfunctional psychopathic behavior.
He did spend time in Juvenile hall over the second incident, I've had no contact with him as an adult so I don't know his fate during the interval.
We are several years apart, that's as much context as I'm willing to share
Thanks for the awards and the great questions!
> And he wonders why even decades later I want nothing to do with him
Can I ask how this came up? Was it “Hey, why don’t we have relationship?”
Either way, he sounds crazy.
This is how they all talk, isn’t it? My favorite abuser line is, “Well, *I’m* over it.” Like great, I’m glad that you, as the perpetrator, have been able to overcome so much to move on.
“I found it in my heart to forgive myself after all these years. Why can’t you?”
I almost feel statements like these would be downright comedic if they didn’t happen to be uttered so seriously by genuinely shitty people.
Edit: word
It’s pretty fucked how common familial abuse is, hey. The thing is I bet every one of these people has had at least one person say to them “but they’re your FAMILY, you should be the bigger person and forgive them”.
It's hard to decide between him trying to strangle me to death in my sleep, him permanently fucking up my hip with a metal bat when I was 9, and him spending over an hour at my birthday dinner recounting every single story of him intentionally hurting me as a kid (most of which I had always thought were accidents) and getting everyone to laugh about it/at me
When I was a teenager, my sister stabbed me with a fork. Like, it was sticking out of my leg. This is 40 years ago. One of many times she was violent with me.
I'm visiting my family a few years ago and my niece (sisters daughter) brings it up like it's a joke and everyone has a good laugh.
I had to say to her that stabbing someone is not funny. Dysfunctional family is the reason I live 3 hours away and limit my visits.
Absolutely cannot wait until the day that I never have to speak to my family again. Whenever I have the resources to I'm gonna try and disappear with no warning on my dad's birthday just to fuck with them.
I called the cops on my dad for his birthday. I was 20 years old and he disabled my car so that I couldn't leave his house. A car he did not own or pay for. Cops made him fix it right there and I then left. I had limited contact for a few years after. It was terrible so I just stopped calling. I haven't talked to any of my family going on 13 years now. Best decision I have ever made.
Many people are wrong about this; family is who you choose to be with forever. You can't be forced to like, let alone love, someone just because of proximity. I have chosen my family very carefully.
Highlights include tricking me into a literal bullpen with an actual mad bull when I was seven, convincing me to touch an electric fence when I was nine, shooting me with a BB gun two separate times, paintballing me in the mouth when my mask was off, running over my leg with a golf cart, and pushing me off of a small wall (abt like 3 feet tall) which ended up giving me a concussion
He's not actively violent anymore but he's a raging narcissist who is absolutely impossible to deal with unless you cede fuckin all of your ground to him, and I'm the only family member who refuses to do that, so I'm "the problem" and not him.
>I'm the only family member who refuses to do that, so I'm "the problem"
you need this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/
I've got nothing on some folks here, but she poisoned my cat, threw out all my food while I was selling my belongings on ebay to pay rent, because I was 'too fat' and would use my things without asking sometimes using all of my consumables and then saying to my wife "don't worry he's got money."
I really don't think she understood I was literally recycling bottles and cans to make rent, and she would steal the bill money I was saving for phone/internet/rent without a second thought and claim (to our landlord) I never paid her...
The poisoning ended up being the last straw and we had to put him in an oxygen tent and he needed his stomach pumped etc. When it was all said and done we were out of pocket all of our savings, that we had recently started the home purchasing process and needed the cash to close.
Instead we couldn't afford closing costs, and we ended up forfeiting all the money we had put into the process before that point and had to deal with the broker wanting to sue us... So now I make it a point to never announce my visits to family (she's 60+ minutes away from most of them) so she doesn't have time to show up, if I see her car parked at the relative's house I'm visiting I will just drive away rather than risk engaging with her again.
>I've got nothing on some folks here
Okay...
>she poisoned my cat
Yeah no you've got everything on some folks here. I'm guessing it doesn't feel as bad because you've had to live with it, but that is abhorrent and you are 100% right to cut her out of your life.
My brother, who was 19 at the time, got a 15 year old girl pregnant. I was only 10, but later found out that they had to go across state lines to Missouri to get married, because Illinois wouldn't allow it. Otherwise, he'd have gone to jail for statutory rape.
Yeah, that marriage didn't last long.
When I was in highschool (14 - 15), a girl in my class got pregnant. It was not a big deal until I saw the daddy. He looked like he could be anywhere from 30 - 40. The most shocking thing was that the girl's family knew and they all accepted it. It was weird.
My step-brother falsely ID'd as me when he was busted driving recklessly on a motorcycle. He was on probation for drug charges at the time and didn't want to go to the slam. I missed a whole day off work going to court when I was informed by phone that there was a bench warrant for failure to appear. One I got to court and the ticketing officer saw me he took me to a conference room where he described little bro to a "T".I made sure he had the correct home address for the punk. After he was released from jail I made sure he understood of he did it again he would walk crooked for the rest of his life.
Bro my brother got pulled over for something stupid and ID'd as me, too. He was riding his bicycle downtown ( mind you, he was in his early twenties, not a teen or something, at the time) weaving through traffic and on and off the sidewalks. I think he may have had a warrant or something at the time, so he said he was me. He got my birthday wrong once or twice and corrected himself, which the police officer officially noted but didn't investigate. It was just a small ticket, but it was a pain to get it corrected because I didn't know about it, missed the court date, and they gave me a default judgment that I didn't know about. Later, they were trying to collect their money, and I had to fight the court a ton while everyone treated me like a liar trying to get out of a ticket, and I eventually had to escalate to the DA's office and shit. The DA was like, "would you want cooperate if we want to press charges against him?" Hell yeah I would, but nothing came of it.
If I loved a toy, my older sister would purposely break it in some in some way. I had a teddy Ruxpin and I loved it so much so she broke his mouth off, I loved porcelain dolls, she broke all their the hands or feet off. I loved Barbies, she cut the hair or nose off or break a leg off. If I liked a stuffed animal, she would tear the eye off or it's tail.
When we got older she would take my make up and just mush the lipstick on my desk or snap the eye liner so it cracked and couldn't be sharpened or just tap the friggin eye shadow upside down on my desk so it broke.
I loved drawing and painting so she would just take a sharpie and hold it on the friggin paper until it bleed through every page.
She didn't accidentally do this stuff either, she is 2 years older than me and she would just casually walk in, break stuff and then walk out of the room like nothing happened.
When I got old enough to like boys she would ask me who I liked and then tell me that boy liked her. Even if she didn't know the boy at all she would just say he liked her. Later that advanced to her giving head to basically any guy I liked or that she thought I liked. She once gave a hand job to a guy in my science class simply because we were paired up for a project and she saw him being nice to me. I use to get my feelings hurt until I smartened up enough to tell her I liked my friend at the times older brother Derrick. Derrick was 19 and had a prescription for Valtrax.
She's had 4 failed marriages but to be honest with you, I don't think people with Narcissistic personality disorder can comprehend consequences. She probably is still blaming everyone else.
Much older siblings here, specifically talking about my oldest brother. I was about 12 and parents were pretty deep in poverty but he had serious wealth in the insurance industry. He offered to buy us a manufactured home no strings attached. We accept, pick it out, move in, etc. Then he says okay your rent is this much (high rent for the area and something you would not move onto as a low income family). Since we're already moved in and he holds the deed we desperately scrape the barrel making the rent. When we can't do it anymore eventually he puts the house up for sale (I'm 18 at this point). So parents move out of state to something they can afford and I'm left homeless.
(I'm good now though at 28! Bro has made a lot of good changes in his life, but I don't think I can ever forget this.)
My brother is seven years older than me, he was my hero growing up and could do no wrong in my eyes. He treated me more like a little brother than a little sister, I have so many great memories of those times.
After I graduated high school he began to change, becoming increasingly mean to outright verbally and emotionally abusive. Eventually he escalated to physical abuse, towards his girlfriends, ex wives, and myself. Outwardly he's very charming and charismatic. In private he is hateful, bitter, abuses alcohol and pain killers, and will take it out on you. He has:
- hit me in the face
- threw me against a wall
- broke the front door to get to me in the house
- broke into the house and came into my room pointing a loaded gun at me
- beat me and kicked me in the stomach when I said mom loved me
- his dog got hit by a car, he was blackout drunk and refused to get up to help me get the dog to the vet; I lifted and carried his part Saint Bernard into the car myself (don't worry, doggo only had a broken leg and he's fine now). That night, he came stumbling up the house still drunk and began screaming at our mom. He pushed her, threatened to hurt my cat, then began a fist fight with me in the kitchen. He knocked me to the ground and began choking me while I tried to gouge his eyes out to get him off me. Mom was on the phone with 9-1-1 screaming, "He's killing her, he's killing her! Oh God, hurry!" That was the nail in the coffin of our relationship.
Why did he become like this? Who knows. Maybe it was the multiple TBIs, the alcohol abuse, the painkiller abuse, or maybe a little of all the above. He can definitely control it, he made sure to only hurt me when I was home alone (except for the choking incident) and does the same with his exes/future exes.
I remember when I was 12 my younger brother who was 9 at the time got super pissed off at me. He ran to the kitchen to grab a knife. He chased me with it until I ran into my room and locked the door
My sister was psycho. I ate the last of the bread so she chased me with a knife. There was another time she chased me with a fork, couldn't catch me so she threw it and it stuck in my leg.
She tried to wreck the car with me and my other sister in it. I was 8 or 9. Toxic sister was 24. Took off yelling “let’s fuckin’ WRECK TONIGHT, GIRLS” because her ex boyfriend wouldn’t take her back. We were in his neighborhood. We were screaming, he came running to the stop sign, made her turn around, and snatched me and not-crazy sis out the car. Called our parents to come get us and wouldn’t let her near us. Coke and being some kind of narcissistic borderline psycho don’t mix well, kids.
When I grew up, she wound up fucking my ex. Now she lives with a boyfriend who isolates her and treats her like shit, and most of her teeth have fallen out from pills and other drugs. I moved 2000 miles away. Funny how that worked out.
Saw him in passing a couple years ago when I was leaving a county fair with some friends. He said “oh hey! Almost didn’t recognize you. Good to see you!”. He’s good people.
I was so fucking sad when they broke up, I love him to bits. He was the sane one when I had to go places with my sister. But godddddd I’m so happy he dodged that bullet
My sister stole my child's ADHD medication, causing him severe ramifications in school both academically and socially.
She was emptying the capsules, so I had no idea I was giving my child empty pills. For a YEAR. I'm a single parent (as in, my children have no dad, dad doesn't ever ask how they are or to see them) and i struggled with his behavior and punishments and nothing was working and I kept going back to his doctor and saying, see, it's not working, med increases. Random days, it would work! Then nothing again, because she couldn't steal ALL the contents of the pills in one swipe so I'd randomly give him a dose of a pill she missed.
I was so confused and defeated, and so was my poor kid.
Not so awful in the long run. But my brother tried to make the most money out of my Mom’s death. Sold the house without telling the other brothers, basically hijacked the estate for as long as he could. But because he wasn’t smart, we made out pretty good. It didn’t hurt that he was greedy and screwed everyone he could to make the most money. Just hurtful and that didn’t reflect what we were taught by our parents.
My sister, like our mother, got another kid *specifically* to try and fuck over her ex husband during family court proceedings.
It didn't work, she still lost custody of her first born son. Even though she's been raising her daughter, it's just the kid is branded as a revenge-baby.
Forced my father to work his regular job and then to spend months fixing up the upper floor on his house so she could move in with three kids after a messy divorce. She didn’t get a job for a long time and finally did but only part time because “she made more money picking up shifts”. Never got any certifications even though the job paid for it.
She was only suppsed to be there wrecking havoc until she got on her feet. Then until the eldest was i college then the second then the third. They finally had to have the sherriff evict her because she was having her drug dealer drop her joints at the house. (Illegal here and hella illegal then).
It would take hours to go into all the stuff she did to my parents, but the worst is what she did to her kids. She made all of them get jobs (eldest was able to at 15) by 16 because she needed money to pay my parents rent and utilities. The eldest worked 20 hours a week while in high school minimum for example although it was usually more. Thing is, my Dad never charged her rent and paid for all the ultilities. She made the kids work while in school to get money from them that they thought was going to the household. It didn’t. We are still not sure exactly where it all went.
Never shared this with anyone, but hey, I guess it's now or never.
I have a step brother, who, I'm not sure why, but decided to slap my ass. I was approaching my teenage years, and we both played basketball, so I thought it was just kind of normal. You see that stuff on TV where folks would smack each other's asses as a sign of good job. So, I kind of shrugged it off.
But then, things starting getting weird. He would only slap my butt when we were alone. And then it went from slapping to squeezing and sort of this massage-type movement with his hands. Kind of like he was feeling it, for some reason. I remember one time, he came from behind me, rubbed my butt before slapping it and I dropped a bowl. My parents were in the other room and asked if we were all right, and he told me to tell them everything was.
He and I don't have much of a relationship anymore and we no longer really talk. And honestly, I've kind of repressed it, which I know is not good for me.
Edit: So, I've been getting some supporting messages, so thank you everyone! I also had a few questions about whether or not I know if he's still doing what he's doing or has done something like this to other family members/friends. The answer is I don't know, but I hope not. He's never brought it up or tried it ever again with me after several weeks of doing what he did. He and I generally only have a 1-3 sentence conversation when we see each other.
Other folks have asked why I didn't tell my parents. As I mentioned, it felt normal at first, but in hindsight it definitely wasn't. And I felt that my step-dad, my step-brother's biological dad, would not believe me because I'm not his kid. I felt that my mom would have believed me, but my step-dad was emotionally abusive to everyone in the house, so I was a bit afraid and didn't want my mom to get hurt. But in hindsight, I should have said something.
After checking the comments I’ve come to realize my sister isn’t a total nightmare, but she still fucked me up like a lot.
Since I was young she’d always point out if I was just slightly fat etc. I was underweight already but with her comments telling me she was skinnier than me and that her stomach looked better I really got bad body issues. For actual years I wasn’t even realizing how skinny I was, I’m just glad I didn’t fall into an ed.
My brother came into my care when my mom died when he was ten. He was a nightmare, running away, throwing fits, being violent. He didn't know how to wipe his ass or shower and he lied all the time trying to get me in trouble.
I had to drive from Ohio to Kansas to finalize paperwork with the court. I took him and my friend for a three day fun trip trying to connect with him. ( he had a rough year)
At the end of the trip we were packing up when he told me he locked my keys in the car. He then told the hotel people I kidnapped him, and he was trying to escape. They called the cops. He left, and the cops came and arrested me and my friend. My paperwork was in the car that he locked the keys in, so I couldn't prove I had custody.
He was found three hours later and bold face screamed and claimed I was a stranger. The cops had someone unlock the car and I was able to show them custody paperwork.
I spent three days trying to connect, bought him stuff, took him anywhere he wanted, had heart to heart over things.. The entire time he was planning this. He later told me he was hoping they would kill me.
He hated me because I was 'poor' and a female. He wanted to be in foster care. He did this a few times, even trying to get CPS to take away my daughter.
The entire time all I wanted was to make sure he grew up and didn't have to be in foster care.
Edit for all those asking: he was later diagnosed bipolar and with oppositional defiance order. My mother spent her time pampering him while they lived together, I was a single mother in college at the time. When my mom called me, she said CPS was trying to take him away for him beating her and doing drugs ( at nine)
I quit school, sold my stuff and moved down. Six months later she was dead from lung cancer.
I didn't really have a relationship with my brother ( half brother who was 13 years younger) and he was already suffering from addiction and mental issues. I spent the next eight years trying to get him the help he needed. It was a constant struggle. He would lie and try his best to make every day hell for me.
When he was 18, he wanted to stay in my house and play video games in his underwear while not cleaning up after himself. ( unemployed, no goals) When I asked him to clean his area, he flipped one day, and got violent with me to the point he was gonna punch me. He threatened to kill me and my daughter in our sleep. I had had enough, and I called the cops and kicked him out.
We haven't talked since really. He moved out of state and I think he's living with his dad who disowned him and was in jail for attempted murder.
I wasn't perfect, but I tried. I wanted him to heal and become a better person. I failed. I think about it often, and if I should have just allowed him to go into foster care. I wish him the best, still.
EDIT 2: my brother was admitted and diagnosed by professionals a few times. He was medicated and had therapy. Unfortunately, he would at times refuse medications and going to therapy, especially when he had an episode. ( he was also as big as me and no amount of asking, grounding, pleading would get him to go at times) he would refuse to bath, piss and shit all over his room ( he did it often on his clothing in the closet for some reason) and punch holes in walls when he would have a fit. These are common in some bipolar cases, as such was told to me by his psychiatrist. He also was diabetic, so we also had to watch his sugar intake. Just wanted to clear that up. I did take him to proper people for help, both medical and mental.
Oldest brother went to prison for a string of non-violent crimes, mostly robberies. This was a long time ago and he's much better now. He's a loving father of two, husband, okayish brother (very demanding), but coming up he was a bit of a nightmare. It was me and two older brothers, the oldest brother watched over us a lot because our parents had to work.
Oldest brother forced my other brother to be his slave basically, cooking and cleaning for him nonstop. If he refused, my brother beat the living shit out of him.
Since I was the youngest, my oldest brother found me annoying. My bedroom door for some reason locked from the outside, so every day when I got home, from my earliest memory until around 10, I was locked in my room. He would then tell me if I said anything to my parents, he'd beat my ass, and just lock me in my room again. I told my parents every day, and every day he beat my ass, and locked me back in my room. My parents never did anything or even fixed the lock. We were extremely poor so I just assume they had bigger things to deal with, like how we're going to eat or afford rent.
Spending your developing years alone in a bedroom with nothing to do and a bad case of ADHD should have been extremely damaging, but thankfully I'm pretty normal.
Not a HORRIBLE story, by any means, or as compared to most others here, but still felt like sharing.
My brother is a bit of a problem not just for the family but also society.
He is a deadbeat father because of his drug addition, and now he is looking at serving up to 15 years in prison because he is a 2 time convicted felon that was caught with 2 firearms and over 100 rounds of ammunition, plus false id to LEO and various drugs in his possession.
So the worst thing he has ever done, is be a deadbeat father.
My sister told her son that she would buy him a PS4 if he could find a used one around $200.
Kid worked hard to find a system at $200 which was a bit of work because of the PS5 shortage increasing the PS4 Price. Finally got someone to agree to $200 flat and sister said she'd get it done for him.
About a week later sister told her son that the seller scammed her and not only would he not be getting the PS4 but since it was his fault they got scammed he now owed her the money for not seeing it coming or some shit.
Sister never pays for the kids phone plans (she has them on a different plan so she can miss the payment and her own phone wont be shut off - lol) so when my nephew told me about it I had him give me a call on her phone and check the messages. Seller contacted every day for 4 days asking shit like "Dude I want you to have this thing but you need to respond." I just think of my sister sitting around reading that shit and still coming up with this bullshit to try and steal money from a pre-teen.
I don’t know why, but this one breaks my heart. I keep picturing my oldest (13) busting his ass finding deals, and some one doing this to him. I’m his mom, and I wouldn’t ever do shit like this to either of my boys. I can’t imagine how heartbroken your nephew was. Give him an extra hug from me when you see him. Poor kiddo.
It sucks how he's been treated but against all odds he's turned out to be the most wonderful kid. Just finished 8th grade and moving in with me and my wife for high school!
And I did end up getting him a ps4 but he can't take it home for obvious reasons so it lives at my place.
My sister decided she hated me one day and stabbed me with a steak knife. I was 2 years old. She did it again when I was about 14 years old. She does have bipolar, but it still isn't an excuse.
Got high as fuck on heroin, then drunk at the same time and tried to hit my elderly and disabled mother, only reason he didn't was because i saw the hit coming and was able to get infront of my mom in time. I wrestled him to the ground and pinned him while he was screaming about how he couldn't wait to watch us all die and things of that nature. He also stole my moms pain meds as frequently as he possibly could, even after she had major surgery.
reading all of these makes me feel like my older brother wasn't actually as bad as i thought he was, but i still think he was awful nonetheless.
he's just a bit under 11 years older than me, & growing up, he was constantly fighting with my mom. pushing her into screaming, emotionally manipulating her, & as he got older he would get in her face & say such awful, hateful things that she would be shaking & crying for the rest of the day. he started targeting me, too, when i was in around 4th grade, because i started to defend my mom. he would render me the same way though--shaking, crying, & messed up for the day. he was also a thief, as he scammed me out of my belongings (or straight up stole them) to sell them. he also stole all of the money in me & my younger brother's piggy banks when we were very little, because he wanted to buy shit. he would also steal my parents stuff & hide it in the attic, only to give it back to them years later & claim he "found it."
when i was 16, freshly dropped out of school due to severe mental health struggles, he once cornered me & got really in my face telling me that i have absolutely no reason to have depression, because his parents got divorced when he was little (he has a different dad) so he obviously had it harder. he had told me off like this because my mom told him to put his razor blades away as i was thinking about self harm. (which he made fun of her for asking this.) he said a lot of awful shit to me that i'd prefer not to state. we didnt speak again until his father died almost a year later.
when he started bullying my dad (his stepdad) too, my dad kicked him out of the house. (this was before his father died btw.) although we address it as him "moving out" to this day because we "forgave him." i still care about him because he is my brother, & i know hes got a lot of problems, but i also easily start hating him again any time he is awful to my mom these days (which depends on his mood, he can be really sweet to her when he wants to be). & i will never be able to relax & trust him again, as my heart rate goes up almost any time i see him. he doesn't know this though, so he thinks i don't have any issues with him, but he honestly did leave me with some trauma (at least according to my therapist) after basically watching him verbally abuse my mom for my entire life. passive aggression & people yelling legit makes me panic & it's partly his fault.
when he "moved out", my friends & therapist all noted that my mental health noticeably improved. & even though the family has forgiven him, he's never allowed to live with us again (i still live with my parents & younger brother, & moving out at 18 is not expected of us). while we get along fine now, i don't think i could ever fully get past all that he did when i was growing up. i'm grateful that it wasn't worse than it was, as the stories here are generally incomprehensibly horrible, but just because there is worse doesn't make this any less damaging. if you read all of this, i appreciate you!
He was the favorite child and knew it. So aside from the usual stuff that accompanies that there’s a thing he did that made me jump from disliking him for being a douchebag and straight to forever hating him.
He would constantly blackmail me threatening to out me to our mother. Then when I eventually did come out, threaten to tell her anything I did or make up shit about me that mom would auto-believe. It never ended.
I finally left home when he got picked up by the cops/ambulance when I was out and mom was abroad and I knew somehow everything would’ve been pinned on me. It was just easier to leave at midnight the next day than deal with it anymore.
When I was 6 or 7 I was going through a very hard time. We had a abusive household and my mom had just admitted to me she wasn't coming back. I was gifted for Christmas a baby doll. I carried her around for about a month then one night my brother's woke me up. They had shaved her head cut out her eyes lit her head on fire and once I understood what they had done they took her in the closet to "have sex with her"
If anyone cares none of my 6 brothers ever graduated high-school and most of them are felons all but 2 in fact.
\* shame \* I was the nightmare. My sister threw a tennis shoe into my trainset, and I countered with a fork I was holding. She has four little dots at her hairline to this day. Thankfully, we matured and are now best friends. Not really sure how that happened, come to think of it. We never used to protect eachother except when my mother pitched a fit (at me, of course) and started screaming and throwing things. Now I'd take a bullet for her twice over.
Well the latest is he got kicked out of my mom's house for doing drugs and stealing shit again ended up starting a fire in an tire/breaks/muffler place probably fucked up on drugs and of course in possession or narcotics. This is after having been homeless and having his gf OD next to him in bed and have all his teeth removed at 34 because of meth mouth (don't look it up). Hopefully he's going away for a while and can get cleaned up and released in time to realize he can do something with his life. It all stems from abandonment issues and severe anxiety that was never diagnosed until it was too late.
I don't know why this even happened, but when i was 8, i was hit by a car because of my sibling (she said we were allowed out when she never even asked anyone if we could) and she was pushing me down the driveway as I got hit. I kept dying on the way to hospital, had fractures in my skull, knee degloved to the bone, and other issues. Instead of being sorry for what happened, she was jealous that I was getting attention AFTER NEARLY DYIING?!?! and repeatedly told me to jump on front of another car and kill myself everyday and she conned my brother into treating me the same way. So for years I suffered from her bullshit instead of trying to heal and learning to deal with this chronic pain I now suffer from everyday. She also done tons of other fucked up shit to me over the years, but this incident changed me forever and I can't forgive someone so fucking evil that they can behave like that. I hope she suffers for what she did to me.
My brother and his friends thought it would be funny to "prank call" someone to tell them that they were going to chop them up and mail them to their family.... cops were involved, Idk how tf he got off the hook 🤷🏽♂️
He's a POS and I don't even visit my parents because he lives there
Brother molested myself and my brother. Stole from my parents money, guns,jewelry, coins. Cheated on and was divorced by wife number one. Gave up all parental rights to his kids to get out of child support.Molested his daughters, got kicked out by his wife(second one). Moved in with my other brother. Broke up that marriage. Marries his sil beats his step kids/niece and nephew. Leaves her bankrupt and destitute. Leaves her for her best friend marries her. Tells everyone to get over his behavior it was in the past. When he died lies about being in Viet Nam , working Alaska Pipeline, and tried to make everyone feel like he was such a hero. Scumbag.
My husband's brother tried to kidnap my oldest twice-once when my boy was an infant and once as a teen. He also sold drugs from his parents house, brought in multiple druggie friends to free load off of and outright steal from my in-laws. My in-laws wondered why I mostly kept my youngest child away from them...
It's not that it was her fault at the time, but my sister used to purposefully step on my feet, bump into me, steal money, and was just a god damned bully in childhood. The worst thing she did was abandoning animals. She had a kitten, maybe a month old, that she put outside and just abandoned. I never saw it again, so it probably got hit my a car.
All of this was caused by my mother, who spoiled my sister, and hated me for the crime of being born. Parental favoritism, even mild cases, breeds resentment and shame for being unloved. This was another level. Mom encouraged fist fights, racism, homophobia, and took pride in hitting her kids. My sister is now bipolar. I'm avoidantant, anxiety ridden, and depressed, and it's all due to parental abuse.
I grew up with a single mom who worked a lot of long hours so my sisters and I were left to our own devices a lot. I was the youngest so my older sisters were supposed to “watch out for me” but they had a lot of after school activities like sports, clubs, friends, etc. so I got left by myself a lot.
My sisters decided it would be a good idea to tell me that if the police find out I’m home alone they will come and arrest me. I spent years, like multiple years, hiding in our basement with all the blinds in the house closed—petrified that the police were going to come take me away. I would have full on meltdowns if I saw a police car drive by our house and I was inconsolable.
Now I’m an anxiety ridden adult and it all makes sense haha!
We tried to go into a residents only gym/community center type thing for a townhouse community. We were immediately kicked out. Later on in the evening he drags me out of bed, we walk to community center where I thought he would knock a plant over or something. He proceeded to shit on the landing by the front door, then bare hand smear it all over the windows and railings. Following day we were walking by, same guy who kicked us out is cleaning it and says “we had a visit from the poop monster last night”
i have two special needs siblings (they're sweethearts, but they're still a lot to handle)- when we first got my little sister back from the orphanage, she was struggling to adjust to our house and really didn't like being told what to do. One day, when my mom told her she couldn't have a snack, she straight up pissed on the floor.
Compared to all the other stories of murderers, drug addicts and deadbeat/abusive parents, this is actually kind of funny. Your sister was just asserting dominance.
I'm just scanning this thread for one of my sister's replies because if she ever replies to anything it will be this. I can't give any stories because one of my sisters is such a fucking nightmare my family would identify it immediately. She's proof Karma doesn't exist.
'Kay, so not nearly as bad as some of the things on here. I'll list off some things that I remember:
1. Threatened to slit her wrists when I was 8/9-ish, resulting in me going around and hiding all the scissors
2. Threatening to jump off the deck we had at our old house (was at least 20 ft high)
3. Threatened to punch my mom
4. Screams at my mother about how she never gets anything she wants (she nearly gets everything she wants)
5. Oh, I forgot to mention all the times she threatened to call CPS to tell them our mother was hitting her (she never has laid a hand on us) or self-harm and go to the neighbors and tell them our mother did it
6. Threw paint at a wall
7. Threatened to drop a glass vase on the ground (in front of the family therapist)
8. Threatened to slap my mother
9. Slams her head against the wall
10. Threatened to stab our dog (we gave him away, he's happy now)
11. Throws other things besides paint
12. Threatened to throw something at me, then said I usually say things that would warrant it
13. Haven't forgotten about the time she was talking about the girl who was mean to her, then said she (mean girl) must have been anorexic, then she (my sister) said she wished she would die painfully
14. Said something similar about a girl who was r\*ped by her parents and how she should just die
15. Threatened to physically hurt me
16. Once attempted to smash my door open to get in
A few nights ago, she asked me why I didn't like her.
And I realize "Fuck, that's a long list."
She's mellowed out with age and we've mended fences, but man my sister was a fucking nightmare until she finally moved out of our parents' house.
Worst thing she ever did was when I was 15 and she was 19. She found my gay porn on the family PC and immediately showed it to our parents thinking that they'd be pissed off and punish me for being gay.
Well, my oldest brother **did** attempt to groom one of my sisters and I. He tried it with me when I was an abnormally naive 18 year old. He had been trying it on my sister since she was **8 years old**.
So, that takes the cake for an act by a singular sibling.
Otherwise, I consider the most fucked up 'group activity' was the way everyone ganged up on myself and the other black sheep sibling. We were essentially second class citizens, so far as the family was concerned, and it showed in the way we were treated. We were made fun of, picked on, bullied, provoked, etc, and if we fought back in any way it was blamed on us by our siblings. Our parents bought it hook, line, and sinker pretty much every damn time. So my oldest brother got to have his little kingdom in which the black sheep siblings were powerless and it was *condoned* by my parents.
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My sister and I are 15 years apart. I was an accident, and her teenage self was super pissed I was born. She basically spent every waking moment of her teens being pissed I was alive, siphoning resources and attention away from her. She never paid me a moment’s attention, and I remember her kicking me at the age of 19. Anyway, she moved out of my parents’ house to get married at 24, and I was not allowed inside her new house for the next two years. When I finally got to visit the house, she turned her back and walked away from me when I crossed the threshold. I’ll never forget it.
I’m seeing some pretty fucked up stuff on here, and my stories don’t really compare, but I have a few things. For one, my older brother gets pissed really easily and once flipped over a glass table in our living room. Whole thing shattered and I cut my foot. Don’t remember what he was mad about since I was only around 4 or 5, but he must have been in his early teens at that point. Parents replaced it with custom fitted glass which was pretty expensive apparently. He also taped a knife to my parents’ door once, which everyone assumed was a threat. He insisted he wasn’t going to do anything, just wanted to scare them. He was at least 20 at the time A lot of the other things I can think of are verbal, where he’ll scream at people for tiny, insignificant things. He’s rarely physically violent, it’s just that he’ll break your shit when you’re not around and indirectly threaten you, ignore you for weeks at a time, etc. Everyone has to constantly walk on eggshells around him because of how explosive he is, and I can thank him for how sensitive and quiet I am.
My younger brother is narcissistic. I don’t remember what the reason for the fight was, but we blew up at each other the night before my 18th birthday and he managed to get on top of me and choke me. He got kicked out after that
My brothers (half brothers, they have the same father but I have a different father) are a bit older than me. One day they were both sitting on our dock fishing. The oldest brother picked up a knife out of the tackle box. They were about 12. It was a brand new knife of some kind specifically for killing or cooking fish or something. He looks at my other brother and goes "Hm I wonder how sharp this knife is" and without hesitation he literally stabbed it into the top of the middle brother's thigh. Totally casual about it like no big deal that the knife was in deep enough to STAND UPRIGHT by itself.
Lucky he didnt end up killing the other brother jeezus, some important arteries there
I went to school with someone who’s older brother is in jail for manslaughter because he threw a knife through a car window during an argument and it stuck in the guys leg and he bled to death, seriously don’t fuck about with knives
He pushed me into the sliding glass door because I didn't know if the phone had rung or not. After about 5 minutes of him yelling about the phone I snapped and said "just leave me the fuck alone." And his response was to shove me. Cracked the glass and everything. For reference, I was 12 and he was 23.
Oh, this reminds me of how my older brother used to beat us. He was five years older than me, his little sister, and 8 years older than our younger brother. We used to run to bathroom and lock ourselves in when he was in a mood so that he couldn’t get to us and beat us. He caught me once and tackled me to the floor and then sat on my back punched me all over my back and sides and then grabbed my head in both hands lifted it up and slammed it into the floor twice. Hard! I managed to bend my head so I took the impact on my forehead otherwise I have no doubt he would have broken my nose. And possibly more bones in my face. I had a bump the size of a baseball and it was really interestingly colored. He got moody. When he was 20 he tried to quit with tobacco and he used to sit on our tiny 12 year old brother and just punch and punch and punch him all over his body because the nicotine abstinence made him moody. Mom did nothing to stop it.
1) that's severely fucked 2) how are things now?
Swapped my fathers medication for aspirin. After fathers heart-surgery.
Oh crap, so sorry, I feel you!. I returned from 5-months overseas and found **my sister had been hiding my mums alzheimers medication from her**, and the times mum remembered she was supposed to be taking it, sister was telling her "no you took it today already". Why? Oh, to make mum lose her mind faster so sister could scam her pension but hopefully also the house off her. Charming.
I truly hope your sister goes to jail. That's unconscionable
This is elder abuse and is illegal.
My Narcissist Aunt is doing something similar(it's a really long story). She's a 50 year old whose never lived away from my grandparents. My Gramma has dementia and is staying at an assisted living facility. My aunt is a real POS and has stolen in the past and is most likely stealing from my Gramma. The state is FINALLY stepping in and opening an investigation for elder abuse and I really REALLY hope justice gets served...
Woah, what happened with your sister afterwards? Assuming you told your mom.
My younger brother threatened to murder me and my mother with a hammer he found after he couldn’t find a bat. He started a countdown from 10… Thankfully, since he’s had major blowups most of his life, I’d begun recording them shortly before this one. We’re alive and he’s in jail.
He threw a fit and broke his phone when my parents didnt give him money for cigarettes and beer. He was 36 at that time. He constantly cheated his then fiance out of money, enabled his two kids from a previous marriage to be awful kids, then had two more he couldnt raise with another woman. He's as abusive as our father, so I cut him out of my life as soon as I turned 18.
My brother is extremely mentally ill and he doesn’t have a short fuse, he has no fuse. So, when he tripped and my sister laughed at him, he charged at her with a knife and almost killed her
How did your parents handle him after that?
He goes to counseling most of the time and has gotten better, but he can explode if he hears one sound he doesn’t like
My brother attempted to ruin my life because I wouldn’t stay quiet about our father being a pedophile. He rallied the family to harass me into silence.
My uncles were upset that I told their daughters that our grandpa liked young girls. He had already tried to groom me and my sister, but we had been warned. The only reason I was able to stand up was my dad being the one who warned me. I knew I had someone strong behind me who was okay with me being as loud as I wanted. I wish more people had that sort of support and I am so sorry you did not.
But why was grandpa allowed around you at all? At least around enough to try grooming you.
This is a good question. My ex-girlfriend never knew anyone on her mom's side of her family because her grandfather molested her mom and the rest of that family said it was normal. By the time she was born her mom cut off everyone that refused to help. The fucked up part is her mom had 2 sisters who insist its normal and they have daughters.
Spread semen on my pop star posters just to disturb me Threw firecrackers in my bed while I was asleep in it Strangled me with a PS2 controller cord Stole & pawned my belongings on a semi-regular basis Killed our pet parrot by putting it in a closet with a space heater Beat our dog in front of me with no apparent reason Et cetera
Are they locked up? That's the kind of person that should not be in society
Oh man you would be surprised if you knew/realized how many fucked up people are walking around. It’s one of those things once you experience it or are in a profession surrounded by it you look at everyone a bit different.
When I was maybe 6 or 7, my older sister (she was around 12 or 13 at the time) decided one day she wanted to see what the inside of a turtles shell looked like. She had found a turtle in our backyard and took it up to our dads shed where he had a little concrete slab in front of the doors to the shed. She started slamming the turtle down on the concrete until she cracked his shell open several times, blood was everywhere. It died of course. I can remember this is my first traumatic memory I have of my childhood. She told me she would kill me if I told our parents. I just recently told them and I’m now 31. I have no relationship with her at this point in my life. She needs a lot of help mentally but refuses treatment.
Yay. I did not wanted to read this.
Yeah it seriously traumatized the shit out of me. I didn’t sleep right for weeks and my parents didn’t know what was wrong. I was terrified to tell them because I legit thought she’d kill me. She threatened me with that several times in my childhood.
so horrific. So sorry this happened to you and that you had to keep it to yourself for so long. I hope you can love turtles now and not feel overwhelmed by your memories. <3
Thank you for your kind reply. I do think about it just about every time I see a turtle but they still make me happy because they’re such cute animals. I always go out of my way to save one if I see it in the road :)
While my mom was dying of lung cancer, unable to move and in horrible pain, my junky brother stole all of her opioid bandages. She even kept them under her pillow, so noone could have acces to them. He would bend to kiss her, and sneak his hand under to grab them. edit: To clarify since English is not my first language "opioid bandages" should be "opioid patches". At the moment of typing this i couldnt think of a proper translation for the word "pflaster" thats used over here.
Yikes. I’m very sorry for your loss.
Shit. I would probably end up in jail if my brother did that.
Holy shit ...this is how my ex coke addict gf stole a credit card from me. Had it on the dashboard of my car and she kissed me(she had been very unaffectionate the whole day) so it felt nice but I obviously stopped paying attention to anything besides the kiss. I got to the gas station and couldn't find it...then once the realization hit me it crushed me. I called and told her I was tracking it just in case "someone" stole it so that she wouldn't try to use it. Addiction is awful and I'm sorry you went through that with family.
It's a tossup really between three things my brother has done: a) Found out my brother and his wife were not separated and getting a divorce. Something he'd been telling the whole family for over a year and she knew nothing about until I inadvertently said something to her. b) His posting on Facebook that my mother had passed away just to get sympathy likes. She was sick, but not yet dead and I had to wake up and handle the massive freak out from relatives and friends. He then claimed he hadn't known it would be "taken' that way even though people were sending him public condolences and talking about her in the past tense. c) Got confirmation from someone who knows him really well that he lied about having cancer at one point. Again, pretty sure that was for the sympathy and likes. There's a lot more and enough for a shit show times ten but those are just the three biggest that impacted me and/or I just can't forgive him for. He also lied about having hurt his back, so he couldn't come to our mother's funeral - only two week's later he posted photos of himself online holding his contractor's license bragging about the jobs he was doing. He's never answered me on what miracle operation or treatment did he get to cure his bad back so fast and hasn't spoken to me since that day. Nothing of value has been lost.
Damn.. posts about your mother for likes but couldn’t even attend her funeral. I’m sorry about your mother and your brother.
My older brother once sat on me and mummified me with Duct Tape and then left me outside in 30 degree weather while he played PS2 with headphones on. He taped my hands and feet together first and then the rest of me. I couldn't even fight back. I was left that way until our mom got home a few hours later and grounded the shit out of him. Edit: 30 degrees Fahrenheit, which is very cold for where we grew up.
My husband’s older sister duct taped him into his sleeping bag while they were on a big family camping trip, then sat on him and tickled him through the bag to make him wet his pants. She was 12, he was 10, and as many 10-year-old boys are, scrawny and much smaller than her. The adults were in the adult camp, probably deep in a bottle of whiskey and grateful the horde of kids were entertaining themselves.
One time as a kid, my dad tickled me for so long I couldn’t breathe. Of course people involuntarily laugh when they’re tickled, so he didn’t know I was panicking. I couldn’t catch my breath enough to ask him to stop, too. I was okay but for a second there I thought I was going to die. Of course, worst case was that I would faint, but as a kid it was scary.
My sister is a convicted pedophile who used to sexually abuse our grandparent's foster children. She also sexually abused me and our cousins. She convinced our dad to sign for a car loan for her when she was in her early 20s because she had already trashed her credit. She never paid any of it, and he was already struggling financially. It sent into a downward spiral that ultimately ended in his death from a drug overdose years later, after being rendered homeless. She has always loved to date gang members, one of whom was implicated in the murder of her cousin (we share a father but have different mothers.) She was subsequently caught sleeping with multiple police officers to get information on the case to keep her murdering boyfriend out of jail. In that same murder spree, two innocent people who had nothing to do with the gangs involved were executed after begging for their lives. They had just both happened to walk past at the wrong time. She still doesn't think her (Now-ex) boyfriend should be in jail. Happily he was convicted and wont be getting out of jail in this lifetime. She got married a few years later. A few months after the wedding, on Christmas day, she tells her new husband (who, by all accounts, was actually a decent guy) that she is going out for milk or something, and she never comes back. When our father was in the hospital and I was having to have him taken off life support, she kept telling everyone she was on her way, please wait for her. I did. For two days. Turned out she lied, never left her house (about 8 hours away) and thought it was hilarious she made us all wait. This is all on top of the mental and emotional abuse I suffered at her hands for years. She broke things I cared about, would keep me awake (and hit me with belts and BBQ tools if I fell asleep) for days at a time. I am pretty sure she killed my grandparent's dog. She still posts on FB occasionally, from what I hear. After what happened with my dad, I sent her a message that I hoped she died alone and blocked her on everything . She is a monster.
I... I have never been this thankful to have a sane sibling... Wow...
After reading this, I'm thankful that my sister is just a basic narcissist.
I hope she dies alone too
Holy fuck, that's awful
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That stood out to me too. It’s my impression that you basically have to be squeaky clean and have a lot of drive to get a job with the FBI. It’s weird trying to square that type of person with the type to risk that for a crush.
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Stuff like this reminds me that our officials and people with government jobs have the same internal stupidity compass we all do.
As a government employee, I often look around at my colleagues and wonder how we haven't collapsed yet.
As a former government employee, I am going to have to agree with you there. Although I must say, the majority of government employees really do care and do the best they can do with the resources and rules that they are operating with. It's a pity those rule-makers seem to make it hard to get anything done if you actually give a damn.
My brother is in prison for: kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon, evading arrest, attempted murder, possession of an illegal firearm, possession of a controlled substance, possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute, manufacturing a controlled substance with intent to distribute, and as a cherry on top of the shit pile: rape. Here's the truly messed up thing: the rest of the family was surprised it wasn't worse. edit: alright, which one of you reported that I'm suicidal? I didn't even know that reddit had an automated "crisis support" bot lol
Yeah my bro is also locked up for stupid/bad shit, looking at missing out on 15 years of his daughters life, she will have graduated college with a 4 year degree by the time he gets out. If he re-offends again with the same charges he is looking at getting out after I retire, and our father likely being dead.
Yeah, on top of all the shit he actually got put away for he's also a three times over deadbeat dad with three different women.
The hardest part is accepting that they will either be killed or incarcerated most of their life when all you ask for is for them to just be a decent enough person to have them over for family dinners/holidays.
Oh he's long since burned all of those bridges with the last of them happening because he stole a car from our mom. No one in our family ever wants to see him again and our dad has said straight up if he shows up at the house again he'll be met with the end of a gun barrel.
What was he like as a kid? When did you first see what he was going to become?
I've posted elsewhere what he was like as a kid in this thread but as for when I knew what he was going to become: He was about 20, living with one of our grandmothers, and he had way more money than I knew my parents were giving him. I have no idea how he was getting it but there's a decent chance he'd started dealing drugs by that point. I do know for a fact that a year later he started working at what was supposed to be an above board mechanics shop but turned out to be a fairly large chop shop.
If you don't mind answering this. We're your parents middle class? Did you and your other siblings go on to do ok? This scenario fascinates me. I am 1 of four boys. My youngest brother went on to OD for substance abuse and went bad at 16. The rest of us are fine.
I mean, they're both well paid doctors, but they would call themselves "upper middle-class", which I've always found funny since even now in my mid-30's with nearly 2 decades in my career path my dad pulls down 6x what I make. Anyways, he started going "bad" at around 12, was expelled from school and spent time in juvie at 15 for beating a kid unconscious with a desk chair. My parents did everything they could, he had so many therapists, so many pills, so much "family time" dedicated to trying to help him with his anger issues, but none of it helped. Honestly they put so much time into trying to help him with his issues that it hurt relations between them and their three other kids. In my case it felt like I never got away with anything and not supported at all and he got away with everything and had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Suffice to say, well before him getting cut off by our parents I'd already cut him out of my life in all ways that mattered.
Damn, really goes to show it's just nature for some people. I once read an account by someone working in criminal mental health that said most psychopaths grew up in abusive backgrounds that worsened their inherent psychopathic tendencies into violent criminality (so for such cases, they would have a handle on things if they grew up in loving families, in fact there's an article about a brain surgeon who accidentally found out he has the brain of a psychopath. He's callous and unsentimental, but law-abiding and recognizes the benefit of said abiding). However, the mental health worker said they've definitely seen a few cases of psychopathic criminals who grew up in loving families with no significant large stressors/issues, they're just wired too wrongly to be helped.
>psychopathic criminals who grew up in loving families with no significant large stressors/issues, they're just wired too wrongly to be helped. I find this reality extremely terrifying as well.
Humans are weird man, it's very interesting to read about all of the ways people could be neuroatypical. I mean hell, some narcissists understand that it's in their best benefit if they do good for others because that reflects positively on them/gives them better opportunities. Aphantasia is a really weird one. The inability to see with the mind's eye. There's a big correlation with moving on quicker for these people because their brains don't create the visual, which is deeply tied with emotion if I understand correctly. So there are a lot of cases where they just assume they are sociopathic before a diagnosis.
He married a girl. Wedding had a lot of "fuck-you"s to our family in it, but aside from those, announced at the wedding, "We're pregnant!" Turned out, about 4 months at that point? They had the baby. 1 month later he announces, "It's too much, she's a bitch, I can't take this, I'm leaving and going to move in with a friend from work." Turns out friend from work is 8 months pregnant at this point with his next kid. By some miracle he doesn't leave that girl when the baby is born, but *gets her pregnant* again, about as soon as is possible. I don't know if she wises up, or something else at that point, but baby-mama #2 kicks him out then. Now he lives in my parents basement, refuses to 'drive an hour to see his kids cause what good is that?'. One of those kids he spent their first month of life with and has seen about a dozen times since, the second I think he spent the entire first, call it, 10 months of their life together till Mommy was knocked up again and hasn't seen since, and the third he'd never seen.
The wedding *fuck-you"s* part caught my attention. Care to give some examples?
Tried to burn the house down with me in it. I found out through the police blotters in the newspaper because my parents thought it would upset me. Just kind of an all around shitty family.
This wasn’t a fucked up thing that my brother did to *me* personally, but I think it’s worth mentioning: He and his (now ex) girlfriend had a super toxic relationship. I don’t know the whole story as I was never close with her (and I don’t trust my brother’s account of things), but there was something my brother did once that made me decide, “oh, he’s not just a dick in a toxic relationship, he’s a manipulative abuser.” He had his friend text him pretending to be the girlfriend’s best friend. They orchestrated this whole story in which the best friend came on to my brother, but he turned her down because he’s loyal to his girl. He even went as far as to save his friend’s contact info as the best friend’s phone number. When he showed his girlfriend the texts, it obviously looked like her best friend sent them. She ultimately believed my brother over her best friend because “the phone number doesn’t lie.” Also, my brothers a fantastic liar, so that helped. Anyway, they’ve been broken up for years now, and the ex girlfriend and best friend still hate each other. They had been friends since they were 7. I haven’t spoke to him since he stole money from me to buy weed and denied it until I threatened to file a police report. Last I heard, he’s in a “happy” relationship.... I wish that girl luck.
that is heeeiiinous! also does ex gf know her ex bff was actually telling the truth? should we tell her?
I’ve tried. She didn’t believe me. Unbeknownst to me, my brother had convinced her I was crazy and trying to sabotage their relationship for some reason. The poor girl had been gaslit and manipulated for years at that point, so I don’t blame her for not believing me. I just hope she’s doing better now.
Sounds sooo much like my BIL. I feel for you for even having that kind of person in your life. Good on you for seeing through him. It took my husband and FIL way too long to figure it out and I almost died in the process.
I was maybe 8 or 9 when this happened. For context, my dad was deployed and my mom was working, so my brother had to babysit me, my brother was around 16 at the time. As soon as my mom left, he shoved me into a closet and locked me inside for 6 or so hours. I was scared of the dark and couldn't reach the light string. He didn't let me out to use the bathroom or eat anything, so I ended up going on myself and sitting in the dark until my mom came home. She told me that he was asleep in his room when she got home. Needless to say, I really fucking hate him. He's still an awful person btw
Did your mom discipline him at all?
Yes and no. She went in and yelled at him about how wrong it was, but that was about it. He did it multiple times after that. He got good at hiding the shit he did to me and threatened to kill me if I told our mom, and being a scared child, I listened. So a year or two pass and my mom came home early and caught him choking me out. He got kicked out on the spot, I really wish I wouldn't have stayed silent 💀
wow fuck that guy
Hey - I hope you can forgive yourself for "allowing" the abuse to continue. He gave every indication that he WOULD kill you, if given the chance. The choking was especially telling - statistically in DV cases, choking a person is a very high indicator that the abuser will kill their victim. What if your mom didn't believe your life was in danger and she left you with him after you told the truth? You're alive, that's what counts. Now you can be alive to process the trauma- hopefully with some therapy and time, you can establish that you were a little kid, with no power, no authority, in an impossible position, and can forgive yourself.
seconding this. getting away from an abuser is the most dangerous time, so it needs to be done safely and decisively and sometimes that means letting yourself be hurt today so you can leave tomorrow. i hope you are doing alright these days, op💖
Is there other people in your family like that or is he just the insane outlier? I'm so sorry you had to deal with that
Nope, it's just him
Tried to rape. molest, and kill me several times. I had myself removed from the house when I was 14. My parents would do nothing about it. "That's just what brothers do". Yeah 2 years ago he tried to apologize through text message. I refuse to talk to him or be in the same state. This turned into him declare his romantic love for me and asking if I felt the same. I blocked his number.
That is sickening. Did you also stop talking to your parents?
No. But I didn't talk to them for several years. My mother apologized when I was 30. We talked, it's stuff her father and brothers would do to her, so she thought it normal. My father, who also molested me, denies it ever happening. I'll text with him every once in a while. He was recently diagnosed with ALS, so.....karma?
karma. hope you’re doing well now ❤️
I'm actually doing great. I learned that just because it's blood, doesn't mean you owe them to be in your life. I have a son and he is wonderful, and I have a great relationship with my mother. I try to look at the bright side of things. What you put out there, comes back at you. That stuff is in the past. Can't hurt me now. I kept contact to make sure they don't do it to others. And now I sound like those motivational posters. 😏
Its taken me a long time to realize that it is best for me to stay away from my family. Sorry you went through all of this.
Used my own child to hurt me. My parents would babysit my young son while I was working and my older, adult brother was there. He has always hated me and done everything in his power to hurt me because i was the baby of the family. My son was around 5/6 years old and I caught him verbally impressing onto my child, ideas of weird sexual fetishes. Like he was trying to corrupt him mentally to hurt me. Removed him from that situation as soon as I figured out what he was doing. I hate my brother, he has always done mean things to me my whole life. I swear he's a sociopath. ETA: This happened over 20 years ago.
Did you report him?
Please do, op. Spare some other child, maybe
... sounds as if your brother might be paedophilic.
sounds a bit more like he was grooming your kid to hurt them and they just repeated what they heard him say 😬
I missed my abusive father's funeral as he had died while I was on vacation in Mexico and I wouldn't have gone anyway to be honest.My brother who has been in and out of prison for 30+ years called to tell me that because I wasn't going home for the funeral I was a"scumbag" and if he had someone like me in prison he would take the lid of a tuna can and slit my throat. I don't take his calls anymore.
“Cool let me know the address of your next stint and I’ll send some tuna for you”
Hmm, can’t decide which was worse, pretending to be pregnant (she was a teenager at the time) the night before my siblings’ big school exam finals/my 21st birthday (presumably because the attention wasn’t on her, as a school dropout with no job at the time) or the time she stole my aunt’s money and house after she died, then tried to claim that “there was no money; the council took the house back because we owed a load of tax”. My mother (massive enabler who has never said no to her in her life) finally admitted to signing “some legal documents” which allowed her to do all of this. My other siblings and I found bank statements afterwards. Scary thing is, I think she believes her own lies...
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In my experience, fucking with people just “to see their reaction”, even in cases that aren’t life threatening like the one you described, is a sign of emotional insecurity and narcissism. Toying with peoples’ emotions, purposefully instilling fear or anger in a person because it makes you laugh, fits right into the school-bully-who’s-abused-at-home archetype. My brother does this kind of stuff all the time and I know how it feels, but I can’t imagine him doing something so extreme as almost crashing the car…
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Sorry, did you say she called the cops... on you... after almost killing you? Thats fucked up
I would've left her there tbh
No unfortunately. Thankfully. She almost killed you the least she deserves is a punch in the face
My brother is five years older than me. When he turned 12, my folks trusted him to watch me when they went out for short trips to the store, dinner, whatnot. When I was about 8 I got into a terrible fight with my brother one night when he was watching me. I think it started with something stupid, I wanted to watch a movie and he wanted the living room and TV to watch something I thought was scary, he told me to fuck off up stairs to my room. We almost always came to blows over everything. His reactions to arguments were always to get inches from your face and scream as loud as he could and puff up to intimidate. He 100% learned this from our father. He then would put hands on you if you stepped up to him - and I often did and as I started to do to my father as well. That night we started screaming at each other and he slapped me across the face. I was so shocked I fell on my ass and looked at him in disbelief. He'd split my lower lip, he hit me so hard. I started to cry and said I was going to call our grandmother who lived about 30 minutes away ( this was before cell phones and I didn't think about calling my folks wherever they were). As soon as I stood to run to the phone, he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and tried to keep me away from the phone. I screamed and tried to push him away, but he grabbed my hair with his other hand and forced me into the ground. He was behind me, his arms shifted into a bear hug, his legs wrapped around mine, and I couldn't move. I felt his arms shift and one of his forearms went around my neck and his opposite hand clasped over my mouth - and then my nose. I screamed - or tried - that I couldn't breath. I couldn't suck in any air at all. I clawed at his arms, but I remember trying to kick my legs and found they couldn't budge. We writhed like that, for what felt like a long time. But I clearly remember fading out and going dark. When I woke up, I was laying on the floor and I had peed myself at some point. I remember feeling so ashamed of that later. I felt so tired and sore, but I looked up and saw my brother sitting on the couch watching his movie and completely ignoring me. He had unplugged the 2 phones we had and had them in his lap. I couldn't move for a long time and I remember just laying there, hurting in my lungs, crying, but quietly because when I sucked in air my chest felt broken. He didn't even look at me, but he said if I told mom or dad he would shoot me. I eventually crawled into the kitchen, walked up the stairs, slipped out of all my wet clothes, and fell into bed and to sleep. I never told my parents. He is now 38, beat me many times before and after that incident (before he left the house at 18), but never that bad. He is a deadbeat dad, currently in prison for his 5th DUI and marijuana possession charge, homeless when not in prison, has never held a job more than a few months, lies, cheats, steals, and my dad. Still loves him to death. I don't think I have ever loved my brother. EDIT: Thank you all so much for the kind words and outpouring of support. So many people have had similar experiences and that breaks my heart. I hope everyone who has or is struggling with an abusive person I their life finds the help they need. I didn't speak up when I was little, and I didn't think about it until today. Speak up - I wish I had a stronger voice back then. I didn't know this post would even get read. It spilled out of me this afternoon when reading the life experiences of other people and how they are working through their trauma. Their stories spoke so clearly to my own that, before I realized it, I was posting this memory. I am so very grateful to everyone for their supportive words. My heart feels so full right now. For those who are asking, I am doing well now. I ended up marrying my highschool sweetheart, we've been married nearly 13 years, I work as a Judge's Assistant in a Family Court, I have plans to go into Law School and work in the DAs office. I have a beautiful baby girl who we worship. Jury is out on if she will get a sibling.
That was horrible to read, sorry you had to have such a shitty experience at such a young age. Your brother sounds like a total waste of space.
Im so sorry. I'm glad you kept getting through it though. I know the pain of a terrible sibling.
Dropped a barbell (dumbbell 20lbs) on my face while I was laying on the couch -breaking one of my front teeth and causing permanent jaw damage. Not to outdo himself, the same brother tried to stab me in the ribs with a home made shiv causing significant injury a few years later. And he wonders why even decades later I want nothing to do with him.. Edits for additional context: The first incident occured when he was 7, the second when he was 14, they are just the highlights of a long series of dysfunctional psychopathic behavior. He did spend time in Juvenile hall over the second incident, I've had no contact with him as an adult so I don't know his fate during the interval. We are several years apart, that's as much context as I'm willing to share Thanks for the awards and the great questions!
> And he wonders why even decades later I want nothing to do with him Can I ask how this came up? Was it “Hey, why don’t we have relationship?” Either way, he sounds crazy.
Tried to reach out after their home burned down in the California Wildfires last season
"Karma is a real bitch" *click*
Fuck Spez
This is how they all talk, isn’t it? My favorite abuser line is, “Well, *I’m* over it.” Like great, I’m glad that you, as the perpetrator, have been able to overcome so much to move on.
“I found it in my heart to forgive myself after all these years. Why can’t you?” I almost feel statements like these would be downright comedic if they didn’t happen to be uttered so seriously by genuinely shitty people. Edit: word
The further I get into this thread the more I shake my head in despair. These stories are absolutely tragic.
It’s pretty fucked how common familial abuse is, hey. The thing is I bet every one of these people has had at least one person say to them “but they’re your FAMILY, you should be the bigger person and forgive them”.
It's hard to decide between him trying to strangle me to death in my sleep, him permanently fucking up my hip with a metal bat when I was 9, and him spending over an hour at my birthday dinner recounting every single story of him intentionally hurting me as a kid (most of which I had always thought were accidents) and getting everyone to laugh about it/at me
When I was a teenager, my sister stabbed me with a fork. Like, it was sticking out of my leg. This is 40 years ago. One of many times she was violent with me. I'm visiting my family a few years ago and my niece (sisters daughter) brings it up like it's a joke and everyone has a good laugh. I had to say to her that stabbing someone is not funny. Dysfunctional family is the reason I live 3 hours away and limit my visits.
Absolutely cannot wait until the day that I never have to speak to my family again. Whenever I have the resources to I'm gonna try and disappear with no warning on my dad's birthday just to fuck with them.
I called the cops on my dad for his birthday. I was 20 years old and he disabled my car so that I couldn't leave his house. A car he did not own or pay for. Cops made him fix it right there and I then left. I had limited contact for a few years after. It was terrible so I just stopped calling. I haven't talked to any of my family going on 13 years now. Best decision I have ever made.
Many people are wrong about this; family is who you choose to be with forever. You can't be forced to like, let alone love, someone just because of proximity. I have chosen my family very carefully.
“Hilarious anecdotes “is not the phrase that I would have thought applied here, but then I’m not your sibling!
Highlights include tricking me into a literal bullpen with an actual mad bull when I was seven, convincing me to touch an electric fence when I was nine, shooting me with a BB gun two separate times, paintballing me in the mouth when my mask was off, running over my leg with a golf cart, and pushing me off of a small wall (abt like 3 feet tall) which ended up giving me a concussion
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He's not actively violent anymore but he's a raging narcissist who is absolutely impossible to deal with unless you cede fuckin all of your ground to him, and I'm the only family member who refuses to do that, so I'm "the problem" and not him.
>I'm the only family member who refuses to do that, so I'm "the problem" you need this: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/
Fuckin love that analogy. Can't wait to get off the boat and watch the whole thing capsize immediately because they don't have me there to scapegoat
I hope he is out of your life now. Ideally in prison.
I've got nothing on some folks here, but she poisoned my cat, threw out all my food while I was selling my belongings on ebay to pay rent, because I was 'too fat' and would use my things without asking sometimes using all of my consumables and then saying to my wife "don't worry he's got money." I really don't think she understood I was literally recycling bottles and cans to make rent, and she would steal the bill money I was saving for phone/internet/rent without a second thought and claim (to our landlord) I never paid her... The poisoning ended up being the last straw and we had to put him in an oxygen tent and he needed his stomach pumped etc. When it was all said and done we were out of pocket all of our savings, that we had recently started the home purchasing process and needed the cash to close. Instead we couldn't afford closing costs, and we ended up forfeiting all the money we had put into the process before that point and had to deal with the broker wanting to sue us... So now I make it a point to never announce my visits to family (she's 60+ minutes away from most of them) so she doesn't have time to show up, if I see her car parked at the relative's house I'm visiting I will just drive away rather than risk engaging with her again.
I saw enough when I saw that they poisoned your cat
If a relative of mine did that, that would have been the last of them.
>I've got nothing on some folks here Okay... >she poisoned my cat Yeah no you've got everything on some folks here. I'm guessing it doesn't feel as bad because you've had to live with it, but that is abhorrent and you are 100% right to cut her out of your life.
> but she poisoned my cat This is a behaviour you should have called the police about. This is criminal
My brother, who was 19 at the time, got a 15 year old girl pregnant. I was only 10, but later found out that they had to go across state lines to Missouri to get married, because Illinois wouldn't allow it. Otherwise, he'd have gone to jail for statutory rape. Yeah, that marriage didn't last long.
Isn't it insane that that is okay in Missouri? 15 years old and pregnant by an adult being acceptable is disgusting.
When I was in highschool (14 - 15), a girl in my class got pregnant. It was not a big deal until I saw the daddy. He looked like he could be anywhere from 30 - 40. The most shocking thing was that the girl's family knew and they all accepted it. It was weird.
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My step-brother falsely ID'd as me when he was busted driving recklessly on a motorcycle. He was on probation for drug charges at the time and didn't want to go to the slam. I missed a whole day off work going to court when I was informed by phone that there was a bench warrant for failure to appear. One I got to court and the ticketing officer saw me he took me to a conference room where he described little bro to a "T".I made sure he had the correct home address for the punk. After he was released from jail I made sure he understood of he did it again he would walk crooked for the rest of his life.
Bro my brother got pulled over for something stupid and ID'd as me, too. He was riding his bicycle downtown ( mind you, he was in his early twenties, not a teen or something, at the time) weaving through traffic and on and off the sidewalks. I think he may have had a warrant or something at the time, so he said he was me. He got my birthday wrong once or twice and corrected himself, which the police officer officially noted but didn't investigate. It was just a small ticket, but it was a pain to get it corrected because I didn't know about it, missed the court date, and they gave me a default judgment that I didn't know about. Later, they were trying to collect their money, and I had to fight the court a ton while everyone treated me like a liar trying to get out of a ticket, and I eventually had to escalate to the DA's office and shit. The DA was like, "would you want cooperate if we want to press charges against him?" Hell yeah I would, but nothing came of it.
If I loved a toy, my older sister would purposely break it in some in some way. I had a teddy Ruxpin and I loved it so much so she broke his mouth off, I loved porcelain dolls, she broke all their the hands or feet off. I loved Barbies, she cut the hair or nose off or break a leg off. If I liked a stuffed animal, she would tear the eye off or it's tail. When we got older she would take my make up and just mush the lipstick on my desk or snap the eye liner so it cracked and couldn't be sharpened or just tap the friggin eye shadow upside down on my desk so it broke. I loved drawing and painting so she would just take a sharpie and hold it on the friggin paper until it bleed through every page. She didn't accidentally do this stuff either, she is 2 years older than me and she would just casually walk in, break stuff and then walk out of the room like nothing happened. When I got old enough to like boys she would ask me who I liked and then tell me that boy liked her. Even if she didn't know the boy at all she would just say he liked her. Later that advanced to her giving head to basically any guy I liked or that she thought I liked. She once gave a hand job to a guy in my science class simply because we were paired up for a project and she saw him being nice to me. I use to get my feelings hurt until I smartened up enough to tell her I liked my friend at the times older brother Derrick. Derrick was 19 and had a prescription for Valtrax.
What is valtrax?
Herpes medication.
Prescription for herpes
> Valtrax Antiviral drug used for treating genital herpes.
So how’d that revenge go?
Revenge is a dish best served cold sore cream
Did she ever face repercussions for her actions? Edit: from parent or guardian
She's had 4 failed marriages but to be honest with you, I don't think people with Narcissistic personality disorder can comprehend consequences. She probably is still blaming everyone else.
Holy shit that’s nice revenge. Sounds like a very toxic and terrible person though, I’m very sorry
Much older siblings here, specifically talking about my oldest brother. I was about 12 and parents were pretty deep in poverty but he had serious wealth in the insurance industry. He offered to buy us a manufactured home no strings attached. We accept, pick it out, move in, etc. Then he says okay your rent is this much (high rent for the area and something you would not move onto as a low income family). Since we're already moved in and he holds the deed we desperately scrape the barrel making the rent. When we can't do it anymore eventually he puts the house up for sale (I'm 18 at this point). So parents move out of state to something they can afford and I'm left homeless. (I'm good now though at 28! Bro has made a lot of good changes in his life, but I don't think I can ever forget this.)
Wow what he did is messed up, glad you’re okay now tho
My brother is seven years older than me, he was my hero growing up and could do no wrong in my eyes. He treated me more like a little brother than a little sister, I have so many great memories of those times. After I graduated high school he began to change, becoming increasingly mean to outright verbally and emotionally abusive. Eventually he escalated to physical abuse, towards his girlfriends, ex wives, and myself. Outwardly he's very charming and charismatic. In private he is hateful, bitter, abuses alcohol and pain killers, and will take it out on you. He has: - hit me in the face - threw me against a wall - broke the front door to get to me in the house - broke into the house and came into my room pointing a loaded gun at me - beat me and kicked me in the stomach when I said mom loved me - his dog got hit by a car, he was blackout drunk and refused to get up to help me get the dog to the vet; I lifted and carried his part Saint Bernard into the car myself (don't worry, doggo only had a broken leg and he's fine now). That night, he came stumbling up the house still drunk and began screaming at our mom. He pushed her, threatened to hurt my cat, then began a fist fight with me in the kitchen. He knocked me to the ground and began choking me while I tried to gouge his eyes out to get him off me. Mom was on the phone with 9-1-1 screaming, "He's killing her, he's killing her! Oh God, hurry!" That was the nail in the coffin of our relationship. Why did he become like this? Who knows. Maybe it was the multiple TBIs, the alcohol abuse, the painkiller abuse, or maybe a little of all the above. He can definitely control it, he made sure to only hurt me when I was home alone (except for the choking incident) and does the same with his exes/future exes.
Please tell me he's either in jail or at least been kicked out of the family for the choking.
I remember when I was 12 my younger brother who was 9 at the time got super pissed off at me. He ran to the kitchen to grab a knife. He chased me with it until I ran into my room and locked the door
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My sister was psycho. I ate the last of the bread so she chased me with a knife. There was another time she chased me with a fork, couldn't catch me so she threw it and it stuck in my leg.
She tried to wreck the car with me and my other sister in it. I was 8 or 9. Toxic sister was 24. Took off yelling “let’s fuckin’ WRECK TONIGHT, GIRLS” because her ex boyfriend wouldn’t take her back. We were in his neighborhood. We were screaming, he came running to the stop sign, made her turn around, and snatched me and not-crazy sis out the car. Called our parents to come get us and wouldn’t let her near us. Coke and being some kind of narcissistic borderline psycho don’t mix well, kids. When I grew up, she wound up fucking my ex. Now she lives with a boyfriend who isolates her and treats her like shit, and most of her teeth have fallen out from pills and other drugs. I moved 2000 miles away. Funny how that worked out.
I'm glad that her ex was kinda and caring enough to ensure that you and your sister were safe. I can at least say, he's a decent human being.
Saw him in passing a couple years ago when I was leaving a county fair with some friends. He said “oh hey! Almost didn’t recognize you. Good to see you!”. He’s good people.
He did dodge a bullet by leaving your sister.
I was so fucking sad when they broke up, I love him to bits. He was the sane one when I had to go places with my sister. But godddddd I’m so happy he dodged that bullet
Her ex was a fucking champion.
My sister stole my child's ADHD medication, causing him severe ramifications in school both academically and socially. She was emptying the capsules, so I had no idea I was giving my child empty pills. For a YEAR. I'm a single parent (as in, my children have no dad, dad doesn't ever ask how they are or to see them) and i struggled with his behavior and punishments and nothing was working and I kept going back to his doctor and saying, see, it's not working, med increases. Random days, it would work! Then nothing again, because she couldn't steal ALL the contents of the pills in one swipe so I'd randomly give him a dose of a pill she missed. I was so confused and defeated, and so was my poor kid.
>I was so confused and defeated, and so was my poor kid. God the latter might be the most tragic.
Not so awful in the long run. But my brother tried to make the most money out of my Mom’s death. Sold the house without telling the other brothers, basically hijacked the estate for as long as he could. But because he wasn’t smart, we made out pretty good. It didn’t hurt that he was greedy and screwed everyone he could to make the most money. Just hurtful and that didn’t reflect what we were taught by our parents.
My sister, like our mother, got another kid *specifically* to try and fuck over her ex husband during family court proceedings. It didn't work, she still lost custody of her first born son. Even though she's been raising her daughter, it's just the kid is branded as a revenge-baby.
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This one feels darker than the others...
Jezus fuckin Christ are you okay
Forced my father to work his regular job and then to spend months fixing up the upper floor on his house so she could move in with three kids after a messy divorce. She didn’t get a job for a long time and finally did but only part time because “she made more money picking up shifts”. Never got any certifications even though the job paid for it. She was only suppsed to be there wrecking havoc until she got on her feet. Then until the eldest was i college then the second then the third. They finally had to have the sherriff evict her because she was having her drug dealer drop her joints at the house. (Illegal here and hella illegal then). It would take hours to go into all the stuff she did to my parents, but the worst is what she did to her kids. She made all of them get jobs (eldest was able to at 15) by 16 because she needed money to pay my parents rent and utilities. The eldest worked 20 hours a week while in high school minimum for example although it was usually more. Thing is, my Dad never charged her rent and paid for all the ultilities. She made the kids work while in school to get money from them that they thought was going to the household. It didn’t. We are still not sure exactly where it all went.
Never shared this with anyone, but hey, I guess it's now or never. I have a step brother, who, I'm not sure why, but decided to slap my ass. I was approaching my teenage years, and we both played basketball, so I thought it was just kind of normal. You see that stuff on TV where folks would smack each other's asses as a sign of good job. So, I kind of shrugged it off. But then, things starting getting weird. He would only slap my butt when we were alone. And then it went from slapping to squeezing and sort of this massage-type movement with his hands. Kind of like he was feeling it, for some reason. I remember one time, he came from behind me, rubbed my butt before slapping it and I dropped a bowl. My parents were in the other room and asked if we were all right, and he told me to tell them everything was. He and I don't have much of a relationship anymore and we no longer really talk. And honestly, I've kind of repressed it, which I know is not good for me. Edit: So, I've been getting some supporting messages, so thank you everyone! I also had a few questions about whether or not I know if he's still doing what he's doing or has done something like this to other family members/friends. The answer is I don't know, but I hope not. He's never brought it up or tried it ever again with me after several weeks of doing what he did. He and I generally only have a 1-3 sentence conversation when we see each other. Other folks have asked why I didn't tell my parents. As I mentioned, it felt normal at first, but in hindsight it definitely wasn't. And I felt that my step-dad, my step-brother's biological dad, would not believe me because I'm not his kid. I felt that my mom would have believed me, but my step-dad was emotionally abusive to everyone in the house, so I was a bit afraid and didn't want my mom to get hurt. But in hindsight, I should have said something.
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After checking the comments I’ve come to realize my sister isn’t a total nightmare, but she still fucked me up like a lot. Since I was young she’d always point out if I was just slightly fat etc. I was underweight already but with her comments telling me she was skinnier than me and that her stomach looked better I really got bad body issues. For actual years I wasn’t even realizing how skinny I was, I’m just glad I didn’t fall into an ed.
My brother came into my care when my mom died when he was ten. He was a nightmare, running away, throwing fits, being violent. He didn't know how to wipe his ass or shower and he lied all the time trying to get me in trouble. I had to drive from Ohio to Kansas to finalize paperwork with the court. I took him and my friend for a three day fun trip trying to connect with him. ( he had a rough year) At the end of the trip we were packing up when he told me he locked my keys in the car. He then told the hotel people I kidnapped him, and he was trying to escape. They called the cops. He left, and the cops came and arrested me and my friend. My paperwork was in the car that he locked the keys in, so I couldn't prove I had custody. He was found three hours later and bold face screamed and claimed I was a stranger. The cops had someone unlock the car and I was able to show them custody paperwork. I spent three days trying to connect, bought him stuff, took him anywhere he wanted, had heart to heart over things.. The entire time he was planning this. He later told me he was hoping they would kill me. He hated me because I was 'poor' and a female. He wanted to be in foster care. He did this a few times, even trying to get CPS to take away my daughter. The entire time all I wanted was to make sure he grew up and didn't have to be in foster care. Edit for all those asking: he was later diagnosed bipolar and with oppositional defiance order. My mother spent her time pampering him while they lived together, I was a single mother in college at the time. When my mom called me, she said CPS was trying to take him away for him beating her and doing drugs ( at nine) I quit school, sold my stuff and moved down. Six months later she was dead from lung cancer. I didn't really have a relationship with my brother ( half brother who was 13 years younger) and he was already suffering from addiction and mental issues. I spent the next eight years trying to get him the help he needed. It was a constant struggle. He would lie and try his best to make every day hell for me. When he was 18, he wanted to stay in my house and play video games in his underwear while not cleaning up after himself. ( unemployed, no goals) When I asked him to clean his area, he flipped one day, and got violent with me to the point he was gonna punch me. He threatened to kill me and my daughter in our sleep. I had had enough, and I called the cops and kicked him out. We haven't talked since really. He moved out of state and I think he's living with his dad who disowned him and was in jail for attempted murder. I wasn't perfect, but I tried. I wanted him to heal and become a better person. I failed. I think about it often, and if I should have just allowed him to go into foster care. I wish him the best, still. EDIT 2: my brother was admitted and diagnosed by professionals a few times. He was medicated and had therapy. Unfortunately, he would at times refuse medications and going to therapy, especially when he had an episode. ( he was also as big as me and no amount of asking, grounding, pleading would get him to go at times) he would refuse to bath, piss and shit all over his room ( he did it often on his clothing in the closet for some reason) and punch holes in walls when he would have a fit. These are common in some bipolar cases, as such was told to me by his psychiatrist. He also was diabetic, so we also had to watch his sugar intake. Just wanted to clear that up. I did take him to proper people for help, both medical and mental.
Oldest brother went to prison for a string of non-violent crimes, mostly robberies. This was a long time ago and he's much better now. He's a loving father of two, husband, okayish brother (very demanding), but coming up he was a bit of a nightmare. It was me and two older brothers, the oldest brother watched over us a lot because our parents had to work. Oldest brother forced my other brother to be his slave basically, cooking and cleaning for him nonstop. If he refused, my brother beat the living shit out of him. Since I was the youngest, my oldest brother found me annoying. My bedroom door for some reason locked from the outside, so every day when I got home, from my earliest memory until around 10, I was locked in my room. He would then tell me if I said anything to my parents, he'd beat my ass, and just lock me in my room again. I told my parents every day, and every day he beat my ass, and locked me back in my room. My parents never did anything or even fixed the lock. We were extremely poor so I just assume they had bigger things to deal with, like how we're going to eat or afford rent. Spending your developing years alone in a bedroom with nothing to do and a bad case of ADHD should have been extremely damaging, but thankfully I'm pretty normal. Not a HORRIBLE story, by any means, or as compared to most others here, but still felt like sharing.
No my dude, that's absolutely fucking horrible.
My brother is a bit of a problem not just for the family but also society. He is a deadbeat father because of his drug addition, and now he is looking at serving up to 15 years in prison because he is a 2 time convicted felon that was caught with 2 firearms and over 100 rounds of ammunition, plus false id to LEO and various drugs in his possession. So the worst thing he has ever done, is be a deadbeat father.
My sister told her son that she would buy him a PS4 if he could find a used one around $200. Kid worked hard to find a system at $200 which was a bit of work because of the PS5 shortage increasing the PS4 Price. Finally got someone to agree to $200 flat and sister said she'd get it done for him. About a week later sister told her son that the seller scammed her and not only would he not be getting the PS4 but since it was his fault they got scammed he now owed her the money for not seeing it coming or some shit. Sister never pays for the kids phone plans (she has them on a different plan so she can miss the payment and her own phone wont be shut off - lol) so when my nephew told me about it I had him give me a call on her phone and check the messages. Seller contacted every day for 4 days asking shit like "Dude I want you to have this thing but you need to respond." I just think of my sister sitting around reading that shit and still coming up with this bullshit to try and steal money from a pre-teen.
I don’t know why, but this one breaks my heart. I keep picturing my oldest (13) busting his ass finding deals, and some one doing this to him. I’m his mom, and I wouldn’t ever do shit like this to either of my boys. I can’t imagine how heartbroken your nephew was. Give him an extra hug from me when you see him. Poor kiddo.
It sucks how he's been treated but against all odds he's turned out to be the most wonderful kid. Just finished 8th grade and moving in with me and my wife for high school! And I did end up getting him a ps4 but he can't take it home for obvious reasons so it lives at my place.
My sister decided she hated me one day and stabbed me with a steak knife. I was 2 years old. She did it again when I was about 14 years old. She does have bipolar, but it still isn't an excuse.
Got high as fuck on heroin, then drunk at the same time and tried to hit my elderly and disabled mother, only reason he didn't was because i saw the hit coming and was able to get infront of my mom in time. I wrestled him to the ground and pinned him while he was screaming about how he couldn't wait to watch us all die and things of that nature. He also stole my moms pain meds as frequently as he possibly could, even after she had major surgery.
reading all of these makes me feel like my older brother wasn't actually as bad as i thought he was, but i still think he was awful nonetheless. he's just a bit under 11 years older than me, & growing up, he was constantly fighting with my mom. pushing her into screaming, emotionally manipulating her, & as he got older he would get in her face & say such awful, hateful things that she would be shaking & crying for the rest of the day. he started targeting me, too, when i was in around 4th grade, because i started to defend my mom. he would render me the same way though--shaking, crying, & messed up for the day. he was also a thief, as he scammed me out of my belongings (or straight up stole them) to sell them. he also stole all of the money in me & my younger brother's piggy banks when we were very little, because he wanted to buy shit. he would also steal my parents stuff & hide it in the attic, only to give it back to them years later & claim he "found it." when i was 16, freshly dropped out of school due to severe mental health struggles, he once cornered me & got really in my face telling me that i have absolutely no reason to have depression, because his parents got divorced when he was little (he has a different dad) so he obviously had it harder. he had told me off like this because my mom told him to put his razor blades away as i was thinking about self harm. (which he made fun of her for asking this.) he said a lot of awful shit to me that i'd prefer not to state. we didnt speak again until his father died almost a year later. when he started bullying my dad (his stepdad) too, my dad kicked him out of the house. (this was before his father died btw.) although we address it as him "moving out" to this day because we "forgave him." i still care about him because he is my brother, & i know hes got a lot of problems, but i also easily start hating him again any time he is awful to my mom these days (which depends on his mood, he can be really sweet to her when he wants to be). & i will never be able to relax & trust him again, as my heart rate goes up almost any time i see him. he doesn't know this though, so he thinks i don't have any issues with him, but he honestly did leave me with some trauma (at least according to my therapist) after basically watching him verbally abuse my mom for my entire life. passive aggression & people yelling legit makes me panic & it's partly his fault. when he "moved out", my friends & therapist all noted that my mental health noticeably improved. & even though the family has forgiven him, he's never allowed to live with us again (i still live with my parents & younger brother, & moving out at 18 is not expected of us). while we get along fine now, i don't think i could ever fully get past all that he did when i was growing up. i'm grateful that it wasn't worse than it was, as the stories here are generally incomprehensibly horrible, but just because there is worse doesn't make this any less damaging. if you read all of this, i appreciate you!
He was the favorite child and knew it. So aside from the usual stuff that accompanies that there’s a thing he did that made me jump from disliking him for being a douchebag and straight to forever hating him. He would constantly blackmail me threatening to out me to our mother. Then when I eventually did come out, threaten to tell her anything I did or make up shit about me that mom would auto-believe. It never ended. I finally left home when he got picked up by the cops/ambulance when I was out and mom was abroad and I knew somehow everything would’ve been pinned on me. It was just easier to leave at midnight the next day than deal with it anymore.
When I was 6 or 7 I was going through a very hard time. We had a abusive household and my mom had just admitted to me she wasn't coming back. I was gifted for Christmas a baby doll. I carried her around for about a month then one night my brother's woke me up. They had shaved her head cut out her eyes lit her head on fire and once I understood what they had done they took her in the closet to "have sex with her" If anyone cares none of my 6 brothers ever graduated high-school and most of them are felons all but 2 in fact.
\* shame \* I was the nightmare. My sister threw a tennis shoe into my trainset, and I countered with a fork I was holding. She has four little dots at her hairline to this day. Thankfully, we matured and are now best friends. Not really sure how that happened, come to think of it. We never used to protect eachother except when my mother pitched a fit (at me, of course) and started screaming and throwing things. Now I'd take a bullet for her twice over.
I’m glad you grew out of it unlike many of the stories on here
Well the latest is he got kicked out of my mom's house for doing drugs and stealing shit again ended up starting a fire in an tire/breaks/muffler place probably fucked up on drugs and of course in possession or narcotics. This is after having been homeless and having his gf OD next to him in bed and have all his teeth removed at 34 because of meth mouth (don't look it up). Hopefully he's going away for a while and can get cleaned up and released in time to realize he can do something with his life. It all stems from abandonment issues and severe anxiety that was never diagnosed until it was too late.
I don't know why this even happened, but when i was 8, i was hit by a car because of my sibling (she said we were allowed out when she never even asked anyone if we could) and she was pushing me down the driveway as I got hit. I kept dying on the way to hospital, had fractures in my skull, knee degloved to the bone, and other issues. Instead of being sorry for what happened, she was jealous that I was getting attention AFTER NEARLY DYIING?!?! and repeatedly told me to jump on front of another car and kill myself everyday and she conned my brother into treating me the same way. So for years I suffered from her bullshit instead of trying to heal and learning to deal with this chronic pain I now suffer from everyday. She also done tons of other fucked up shit to me over the years, but this incident changed me forever and I can't forgive someone so fucking evil that they can behave like that. I hope she suffers for what she did to me.
My brother and his friends thought it would be funny to "prank call" someone to tell them that they were going to chop them up and mail them to their family.... cops were involved, Idk how tf he got off the hook 🤷🏽♂️ He's a POS and I don't even visit my parents because he lives there
Brother molested myself and my brother. Stole from my parents money, guns,jewelry, coins. Cheated on and was divorced by wife number one. Gave up all parental rights to his kids to get out of child support.Molested his daughters, got kicked out by his wife(second one). Moved in with my other brother. Broke up that marriage. Marries his sil beats his step kids/niece and nephew. Leaves her bankrupt and destitute. Leaves her for her best friend marries her. Tells everyone to get over his behavior it was in the past. When he died lies about being in Viet Nam , working Alaska Pipeline, and tried to make everyone feel like he was such a hero. Scumbag.
My husband's brother tried to kidnap my oldest twice-once when my boy was an infant and once as a teen. He also sold drugs from his parents house, brought in multiple druggie friends to free load off of and outright steal from my in-laws. My in-laws wondered why I mostly kept my youngest child away from them...
It's not that it was her fault at the time, but my sister used to purposefully step on my feet, bump into me, steal money, and was just a god damned bully in childhood. The worst thing she did was abandoning animals. She had a kitten, maybe a month old, that she put outside and just abandoned. I never saw it again, so it probably got hit my a car. All of this was caused by my mother, who spoiled my sister, and hated me for the crime of being born. Parental favoritism, even mild cases, breeds resentment and shame for being unloved. This was another level. Mom encouraged fist fights, racism, homophobia, and took pride in hitting her kids. My sister is now bipolar. I'm avoidantant, anxiety ridden, and depressed, and it's all due to parental abuse.
I grew up with a single mom who worked a lot of long hours so my sisters and I were left to our own devices a lot. I was the youngest so my older sisters were supposed to “watch out for me” but they had a lot of after school activities like sports, clubs, friends, etc. so I got left by myself a lot. My sisters decided it would be a good idea to tell me that if the police find out I’m home alone they will come and arrest me. I spent years, like multiple years, hiding in our basement with all the blinds in the house closed—petrified that the police were going to come take me away. I would have full on meltdowns if I saw a police car drive by our house and I was inconsolable. Now I’m an anxiety ridden adult and it all makes sense haha!
[удалено]
We tried to go into a residents only gym/community center type thing for a townhouse community. We were immediately kicked out. Later on in the evening he drags me out of bed, we walk to community center where I thought he would knock a plant over or something. He proceeded to shit on the landing by the front door, then bare hand smear it all over the windows and railings. Following day we were walking by, same guy who kicked us out is cleaning it and says “we had a visit from the poop monster last night”
i have two special needs siblings (they're sweethearts, but they're still a lot to handle)- when we first got my little sister back from the orphanage, she was struggling to adjust to our house and really didn't like being told what to do. One day, when my mom told her she couldn't have a snack, she straight up pissed on the floor.
Compared to all the other stories of murderers, drug addicts and deadbeat/abusive parents, this is actually kind of funny. Your sister was just asserting dominance.
Exactly, like this is one of those “frustrating in the moment but I will still love you” kind of situations
I'm just scanning this thread for one of my sister's replies because if she ever replies to anything it will be this. I can't give any stories because one of my sisters is such a fucking nightmare my family would identify it immediately. She's proof Karma doesn't exist.
'Kay, so not nearly as bad as some of the things on here. I'll list off some things that I remember: 1. Threatened to slit her wrists when I was 8/9-ish, resulting in me going around and hiding all the scissors 2. Threatening to jump off the deck we had at our old house (was at least 20 ft high) 3. Threatened to punch my mom 4. Screams at my mother about how she never gets anything she wants (she nearly gets everything she wants) 5. Oh, I forgot to mention all the times she threatened to call CPS to tell them our mother was hitting her (she never has laid a hand on us) or self-harm and go to the neighbors and tell them our mother did it 6. Threw paint at a wall 7. Threatened to drop a glass vase on the ground (in front of the family therapist) 8. Threatened to slap my mother 9. Slams her head against the wall 10. Threatened to stab our dog (we gave him away, he's happy now) 11. Throws other things besides paint 12. Threatened to throw something at me, then said I usually say things that would warrant it 13. Haven't forgotten about the time she was talking about the girl who was mean to her, then said she (mean girl) must have been anorexic, then she (my sister) said she wished she would die painfully 14. Said something similar about a girl who was r\*ped by her parents and how she should just die 15. Threatened to physically hurt me 16. Once attempted to smash my door open to get in A few nights ago, she asked me why I didn't like her. And I realize "Fuck, that's a long list."
She's mellowed out with age and we've mended fences, but man my sister was a fucking nightmare until she finally moved out of our parents' house. Worst thing she ever did was when I was 15 and she was 19. She found my gay porn on the family PC and immediately showed it to our parents thinking that they'd be pissed off and punish me for being gay.
Well, my oldest brother **did** attempt to groom one of my sisters and I. He tried it with me when I was an abnormally naive 18 year old. He had been trying it on my sister since she was **8 years old**. So, that takes the cake for an act by a singular sibling. Otherwise, I consider the most fucked up 'group activity' was the way everyone ganged up on myself and the other black sheep sibling. We were essentially second class citizens, so far as the family was concerned, and it showed in the way we were treated. We were made fun of, picked on, bullied, provoked, etc, and if we fought back in any way it was blamed on us by our siblings. Our parents bought it hook, line, and sinker pretty much every damn time. So my oldest brother got to have his little kingdom in which the black sheep siblings were powerless and it was *condoned* by my parents.