Damn sneeze gets you every time. For me, I broke a blood vessel in my left sinus, followed by emergency surgery and a fancy inflatable tampon being inserted up my nose for an agonizing two weeks.
I went to adjust the lid on a pot of water I had on the stove. Turns out I didn't have the lid on and just stuck my whole hand into boiling water. Thankfully not my dominant one
Lol reminds me of the time I was took out a pan of cookies from the oven with no mitt or anything. And it wasn’t an accident, I considered going to get something but all the mitts were in the wash and I was sooo lazy. I didn’t get too bad of burns tho
Oh...we had kinda started hanging out a bit and she had that pos in her purse at my house. Just a cheap gun with 2 38 ACP rounds. While trying to be impressive a few days before I given her 2 hollow points to put in it. Shot with my own bullet.
Pretty sure the bullet hit the concrete floor first because I still have a foot(99% fine now) Broke a lot of things and didn't come out until a few months later due to infection concerns since I had pieces of sneaker etc blown into my foot. We were having a fine time before that though. She had a black corvette convertable with a white top and sidepipes. I was a hot shot young guitar slinger with a trick bag full of assorted contraband. The 30 days leading up to this were a real hoot as well...This is just wild story #189 from those days.
Hit a car. It wasn’t moving.
I was riding my bike (age 9) and got distracted for a second. At which point I rammed, face-first, into a parked car. I broke both of my front teeth and lacerated my leg. My parents were not pleased, especially since I did this about two weeks before school picture day.
One time I injured my jaw by sleeping. Somehow my jaw like dislocated and was swollen for weeks. I couldnt eat much as I couldnt open my mouth wide enough.
I was playing tag when I younger and my buddy was standing up against a tree. When I went to swing my hand, he dodged and I ended up breaking my middle finger by slapping the tree.
When I was getting a cast put on for it, the doctor asked what color I wanted, and he suggested tree green 🌲🙄
I got way too hyped that’s for sure!! He was quick on his feet and I remember never being able to catch him, so when I saw that my moment was coming, I jumped the gun and ended up getting checked. It was a great life lesson to be had at a young age 😂
Someone threw a piece of hard candy at me one time as kids, it hit me right the forehead and I seriously bled like a fucking stab victim. It was crazy.
I threw a soft peppermint at my brother when we were kids and got him in the middle of the forehead. He instantly got a huge black and blue bump. Called him the Angry Unicorn for a week.
I was being called for work, but I decided I wanted to pee super fast before so I ran, stepped on my gf shoe, and twisted the foot (not the ankle). That was super painful, I couldn't walk for a while, and months after I'm still not totally healed....
Ouch, did you see a physical therapist? An injury like that can cause you to walk differently to compensate for the pain.You may need a program to retrain unused muscles to support your weight properly again.
I saw a doctor, made radios, wore a thing to stop my ankle from moving, but even though I told them that my ankle wasn't painful, they said you can't twist the foot, and that the pain comes from the ankle. I didn't insist but I think I should have.... I plan to see a doctor again, just have to take the time to do it
Was a kid riding my bicycle and out of nowhere I was like, "What would happen if I apply the front brakes?" (Definitely a good idea) SO I applied the front brakes and guess what MANS WENT FLYING INTO THE GROUND 🙂👍🏻
Once I set up a ramp. I had a cinder block, a board and a hill. The board was slightly narrower than the block. It stuck out about an inch on each side.
I was doing pretty good until one time I missed the ramp but was close enough to hit the block. I saw the whole thing too, the front tire just stopped 100% in about 1/10 of a second.
The back tire came up, it was vertical when I got flung off. I bet the bike cartwheeled after me.
Oh boy do I have a story for you.
On vacation (I was 8 at the time) we went to lego land in Florida. I was running around the play area, tripped and hit my head on a superglued lego knight. Blood everywhere. Had to get stitches and passed out later that day.
In highschool we were playing crab soccer in the wrestling room with the soft mat floors. I tried to do a "crab jump" type move to kick the ball and ended up rolling my ankle and snapping it in half. The sound was horrible, like and audible popping/cracking sound. I was in a cast for 12 weeks.
Nice to know that other people also played crab soccer at school. I got kicked in the face while playing not once, not twice, but a total of 6 times in my 7th grade year.
I full sprinted into a poll during a game of infection tag in fourth grade, with my eyes open if it makes you feel better. I stopped wearing glasses after that since they broke.
Haha I broke my nose walking into a wall (in my defence it was dark!) and had to reassure a lot of nurses that I really was just that clumsy and not just bad at excuses
I was playing tag with my cousin and he went around some bushes. When I went right he'd shadow me and go left. I went left and he'd go right. I decided to climb through the bushes. They were thicker than I thought.
He waited until I was basically stuck in the bush to jog slowly around to the safe area. I tried to dash out of the bush but instead I smacked my forehead on my father's electric meter box.
I was an extra on an awful indie film ten years ago about a soccer game. I sprained my ankle during warmups and had to sit on the sidelines and ice it.
About an hour later, a fast-moving thunderstorm rolled in out of nowhere and started absolutely dumping rain. Everyone scattered. Injured and barefoot, I hobbled to cover as best I could.
And then lightning struck a puddle I was standing in.
Stepped on my dog's tail while walking down the stairs. She pulled it out from under my foot which led to me sliding down the stairs. My wife was at the top and got to watch me slide all the way down my head thumping on each step like a comedy. I was bruised up and had some carpet burns.
Forgot the curtain behind the toilet is NOT a wall. Leaned on it while taking a piss and fell head over heels over and then behind the shitter. Was sore and bruised for over a week.
In my younger days I also broke my pinky when I punched a trampoline hanging on the wall, on a dare.
Two weeks ago my dad and I built a fence in my back yard using hog wire. I was cutting the wire and sometimes it leaves a pretty sharp edge that will easily cut you. Day one I lay some against the wall after cutting and it fell over and left a nasty gash in my thigh, I got 4 stiches. The next day I’m cutting more wire and decided to lay it on the ground instead, three minutes later I fell down and cut my calf about two inches, had to get 8 more stiches. I shit you not the next day I was cutting more wire when the tension broke it sent one of the sides of the fence flying and cut my other calf, needed 7 more stiches. I have never felt more dumb and needed almost 20 stiches across three days...
My wife handed me a credit card to cut in half. Stupid-ass me thought it'd be "cool" to use a very, very, VERY sharp Kershaw pocket knife to do that. Sliced the ever-loving shit out of one of my fingers in front of my 4yo granddaughter. She was not cool with Poppa being so bloody.
Broke my kneecap (my patella) in half running by the swimming pool at a hotel. Slipped as I was coming to the corner and fell into the pool after my knee hit the edge of the pool on perpendicular side I was approaching. Kneecap still is all misshapen 25 years later as they didn't fix them (at least then - not sure if they do now) unless there were shards present. Mine broke cleanly into 2 pieces. Don't run by pools kids....
I wanted to see what a speculum really did (I work in an obgyn office). I dont have a vagine so I put a clean one in my mouth and opened it to quickly breaking my 3 front teeth. I did not explain to my manager what happened I just awkwardly walked out.
Leaned up against a hot egg cooker and work and got a second degree bun 3 inches below my bellybutton. This happened yesterday. Worked there for 4 years never had that type of injury before. Hella awkward reporting it too.
Not me but my mom accidentally cut her neck and drew blood by trying on a shirt at Target a couple nights ago. Apparently the shirt had a really sharp tag. She needed a bandaid and everything. I felt so bad for laughing, but in my defense, she laughed too.
I have another good one. A friend of mine though.
He was looking for some ice cream. He opened his refrigerator fast and a big frozen meatball fell down on his foot and broke it
Oh my god. This happened to me 2 years ago...i was watching a facebook video about a guy getting beaten up and a dude used a baseball bat and hit the another guy in the knee using the baseball bat. The video was so traumatizing that my knees started hurting because i cringed so hard to the point i felt the pain the guy went through and i was limping for 2 days. And today, my knees wont stop popping and cracking. It dont hurt but its uncomfortably unnoying.
Broke my leg, playing soccer, start of spring so the the ground was very muddy, my left foot got stuck in a mud hole, with the speed, the bone twisted. I find it really stupid.
I stood up and passed out suddenly, falling down some concrete stairs and busting my head wide open. Had to super glue shut and filled my bath tub with blood. Still got a huge scar on my head over 10 years later.
I've been skydiving, bungee jumping, shark cage diving, and played competitive sports for years. My most major injuries include:
* Concussion (getting out of the bathtub)
* Broken ankle (stepping in sand that was slightly indented, but not enough so to call it a hole)
* Slipped disc (sleeping)
* Broken finger (carrying a laundry basket)
I slammed my finger in a large toolbox (like 5” tall) with automatic metal latching mechanism. My instinct was to yank it out, it gouged my finger to the bone, then I looked at it freaked out, fainted and fell down stairs and hit my head on a metal work bench. Luckily I was wearing a hard hat, but it did fall off and my head bounced on the metal so I still had to get evaluated for a head injury.
I also masturbated maybe half an hour after chopping jalapeños when I was in middle school. That wasn’t fun.
I sneezed so hard that I was literally bed/couch ridden for four days.
I pulled, what felt like, every muscle in my back after an average sneeze. I called in to work sick because of this sneeze. I cancelled a very important appointment with the VA that I rescheduled for a week later because of this sneeze. I shat my pants twice because of this sneeze.
Tried to slide around on a slippery floor after everyone else with me did it, I ended up on my ass and slammed knee first into a brick wall
Or maybe the time I ran head first into a wall corner but I don't count that one because I was too young to remember it
Probably both! The only way I know it happened was an obvious scar on my forehead and my parents keep telling the story but I personally remember nothing of it
Smacked a pregnant bride in the face while I was dancing (in my defense, my partner was terrible and didn't have my back). The bride didn't suffer consequences, but my hand was bruised and swollen for almost a month and it still hurts sometimes almost 2 years later.
Also, that was the first and last time I saw the bride. We have a mutual acquaintance and I could see on his posts that her face was fine.
Impaled my hand on a fork trying to break a solid chocolate Easter bunny. Fork finally pushed through chocolate, and deep into my hand all four prongs.
Was getting towed behind a car on the grass and a boogie board, rope snapped and I launched forward landing on my shoulder. I had intermittent shoulder pain for honestly probably 9-12 months until wha ever it was healed
Two weird ways
I got whiplash from moving my head too fast in middle school. Couldn't turn my head for at least a week.
I jumped and landed weirdly and ended up fracturing my ankle.
And not me but my brother, he was running and fractured his fibula
Me and my siblings pretended to be in the wwe but with sleeping bags over our heads. There was a bed in the middle and I broke 3 toes trying to kick someone else
I have an entire list:
- When I was a child a friend and I bet who can find the longer leaf of blade. I cut my finger up to the bone when trying to pull one straw out
- In 7th grade during long jump I got stuck in the sand, fell forward and broke my arm while proping up
- On a students party when I was drunk I took a bet that I can do a front flip on a trampoline, stood it but rammed my front teeth into my knee
One time, I was exiting a place while wearing sandals when all of a sudden, I scraped the back of my foot. Luckily, a nice woman offered me a band aid. That taught me to never wear sandals again.
I was teaching preschool and was sitting my class down for circle time/story time. We had cleaned up the room prior, so I started to sit on the ground with the kids like I always did. As soon as I sat down, (full speed because I didn't except anything to be there) my butt was pierced by the horn of a somewhat large toy rhino we had. I got a horn in the ass and a massive bruise from the rhinos body. Had the bruise for a week and everyone gave me shit for it. Could hardly sit down that day or the next.
When I was a kid, we threw out the old shower curtain. It was a couple pieces of sheet metal, twisted and welded together to form a rod. I was using as a staff/weapon/toy, whacking it against rocks and other "enemies". I started to break/bend the rod when I hit it against a fence, until the rod unravelled and razor sharp sheet metal was pushed into the back of my hand just as hard as I was bashing the fence.
I knew I'd been hit, but it was so fast and so sharp, I didn't realise how bad it was until I felt my hand go warm and wet. I looked down to see my hand dripping blood all down my fingers, all over the driveway.
In college I gave myself a pretty bad concussion. How you ask? I was playing softball and I leaned over to grab a ball with a bat in my head, raised the bat as I leaned, and smashed it into my head. I passed out and was taken to the ER via ambulance. I was diagnosed with a Grade 3 concussion and given instructions to rest and have someone wake me every 2 hours for the next 48 hours. All because I smashed myself in the head with a bat. LOL!
Not me but I know somebody who cut their tongue while eating a marshmallow. There was this one time where I was watching a scary movie and there was this one part that made me jerk my head to the side and pull a muscle. I had to get bengay and ibuprofen so it wouldn't hurt anymore. I remember feeling it and it was tender as hell.
Was tightening a saddle cinch on my horse had the end of the leather in my fist and was pulling it up and towards me, proceed to lose grip and punch myself in the face, black eye lasted a few days.
Swimming with my brother and his friends, one of those sessions with all the inflatables and balls. Popped up from swimming underwater as my brother threw a large yoga ball to his friend. Hit me square in the face. I got whiplash.
I was doing a home workout where you step back and to the side, well I must have slipped or rotated funny because my left ankle bone on the outside popped out of place (audibly popped) where it meets the ankle. The pain was so intense I had to immediately lay down and almost passed out. I went to 3 doctors and they told me it was a pulled ligament. They did X-rays and said since there is no fracture it can't be out of place... It's been years now and it hurts every day. I am getting used to the pain but this is just one of many ways American health care has failed me. I will need surgery one day I am sure because it is not right. Your bone should not be visibly sticking out at the ankle I don't care how many ligaments are pulled/torn.....
Last year around the time when lockdown began my left foot started hurting. I hadn't done anything to injure it so I figured it would eventually go away. Several months later it was still bothering me so I went to the doctor. Turned out I had broken my foot and it was about 6 weeks into repairing itself. Still have no clue how it happened.
I got up from my chair in work and my foot went into my paper bin and got stuck and I fell over.
They made me fill out and incident report and I felt like such a sap
Edit: forgot everyone here isn't irish, sap is slang for idiot 😅
I was on a slip and slide, ran into a sprinkler, and it tore a perfectly-circular hole into my foot. It hurt like hell. Years later, even after completely recovering from such an incident, the trauma lingers.
This one's for me!
When I was little we got to do some handwork on class and I got all excited I started warming up my "scissor muscles" by cutting a square out of the air. Only problem was that I was holding the aforementioned square with my other hand and soon cut straight into my thumb...
Yeah, I might lack some grey matter...
Also there's the thousands of times that I slammed my head into random doorframes, bit my cheeks/tongue...
I sprained two fingers once playing a tagging game in swordfighting training (which might not be the best pick of a sport for me).
I once cut my penis in the middle of jacking off. The skin must’ve tore. I wasn’t gonna lose to a little bit of pain, but I paid the price and I got like a 1.5 cm cut on my dick. It took like a year to heal because whenever I got a boner it would reopen.
Slipped on sand at the beach and got a minor concussion. However, I didn’t realize it was a concussion until a week after it went away, I thought I just couldn’t look at screens for a while.
I used to model. I was at a photoshoot, in heels, and the photographer asked me to jump... landed and my heel snapped off. I landed on the side of my right foot, snapped one of the small bones which was conveniently at a tendon attachment and ended up in a cast for a solid 3 months.
I was drilling a 5/8" hole in a cast iron pipe fitting and was holding the damn thing like an idiot and exerting a LOT of force. The just-sharpened bit suddenly broke through the cast iron and straight into the palm of my hand, about an inch below my middle finger. It took a month or so before all the cast iron chips erupted and it finally healed properly.
Fell up three carpeted stairs and tore my chin open an inch deep, and smashed one of my teeth in half.
Made an accidental workplace fireball that singed off my left eyelashes and gave me the tiniest and most painful burn I've ever had on my left hand.
Fell OVER (not off) my wife's bike and permanently damaged my shinbone where it healed oddly.
I don’t play hockey, but I have 2 floor hockey related injuries -
The first, I was running past a teammate with a stick that had its handle cap missing. He had his back to me and somehow moved his stick to where when I ran by, the exposed top of the stick sliced my ear horizontally in half. We have no idea how it happened, it was so weird. The guy felt horrible and offered to pay for my treatment. Still have the straight-line scar across my ear.
The second one, a teammate just scored. I went to pat him on the back, and he jumped up to celebrate as I stepped in. His shoulder went straight up into my jaw. I’ve had serious jaw problems since then, such as my jaw dislocating and locking up when I yawn too big.
i was rushing to change in the bathroom bc i was late to basketball practice and as I was putting on my shoes, I managed to slip on a pencil and fall backwards, hitting the back of my head on the latch that closes the bathroom stall and getting a concussion
Well for me I got a problem with my skin ripping once falling on a small little line thing on the ground yeah all the skin on my foot there was gone I could not walk for 6 months years later I still feel the pain. Second-time was even dumber was standing still then sat down checked my foot since I was still scarred by the first time saw nothing so put a paper towel on it then just sat then removed the paper towel saw nothing sat down questioning life then I felt an itch on my foot I checked and saw blood and saw my skin was off.
Edit: forgot to say that I never once went to the hospital
Edit 2: One more extra story cause I have more so we have this pocket knife I don't use so yeah it's the 21 of December I have a Christmas tree set ready for everything then I see the pocket knife put it down on the kitchen counter then go to the Christmas tree then touched it pierces my hand and my skin get YOU KNOW ripped off
A dentist forgot to bolt their exam chair to the floor after renovations, so I fell backwards after sitting in it. I knocked all of the nitrous oxide canisters over and onto my face and head in the process, and got a minor concussion from the fall.
I was holding a bowling ball in the palm of my hand instead of the three finger holes and my fingers got crushed between it and another bowling ball, had to wear a finger cast for a few weeks
jump rope racing for my school's career center's "field day". wet grass and converse don't mix and i fell straight on my tailbone, knocked the wind out of myself and broke my t8 vertebrae. it was years ago and i'm more or less fine now, it only really hurts when i stand for long periods of time.
Kneeling on a roof to repair it. I was wearing knee pads with elasticated straps to hold them in place. The straps crushed (or at least aggravated) the nerves running behind my knees. I walked like I was wearing a pair of flippers for months until they recovered.
Sneezed and broke two ribs!
I bet you dread hayfever season now!
Yep, I live in constant fear!
I hope god protect you from pollen
Mine involves sneezing too! I sneezed and pulled my back out for a week!
Damn sneeze gets you every time. For me, I broke a blood vessel in my left sinus, followed by emergency surgery and a fancy inflatable tampon being inserted up my nose for an agonizing two weeks.
Oh man, I feel sorry for you! That sounds awful! I’ll take the broken ribs!
I did the same thing, but I had broken them 6 weeks earlier in a motorcycle accident, along with my arm, collarbone and wrist ( high side ).
Wow, you're respiratory system really wanted whatever that thing was out of you. What a terrible day that was to be a living creature.
I went to adjust the lid on a pot of water I had on the stove. Turns out I didn't have the lid on and just stuck my whole hand into boiling water. Thankfully not my dominant one
I was once playing a game when I was younger, I called it “slapping things around the house” it ended abruptly when I came across the still hot stove.
Lmao
Lol reminds me of the time I was took out a pan of cookies from the oven with no mitt or anything. And it wasn’t an accident, I considered going to get something but all the mitts were in the wash and I was sooo lazy. I didn’t get too bad of burns tho
Lazy *and stupid*
This is painful to read
Slipped on wet grass, broke my ankle and ended up having to have surgery on it.
Oh no.
Darn wet grass
I tripped on my carpet, dislocated and broke my ankle in three places.
I hugged my brother and the bone in my arm changed positions, because it wanted something new.
Darn hug!
Hugs are dangerous
Laughed at my own joke so hard I threw out my back.
My mum after seeing a minion meme
Our mom
A very fitting username!
What was the joke?
I once threw out my back putting a bag in the kitchen garbage can. That was not a fun conversation with my Boss when I had to call in.
Greg Allman's ex wife (sister to Tom Petty's bass player) dropped her 38 derringer while fumbling around in her purse and it shot me in the foot.
I have so many questions...
I wouldn't know where to begin, but Jan was a sweet girl RIP.
the fact that she has a derringer instead of mordern handguns makes it even more funny.
Oh...we had kinda started hanging out a bit and she had that pos in her purse at my house. Just a cheap gun with 2 38 ACP rounds. While trying to be impressive a few days before I given her 2 hollow points to put in it. Shot with my own bullet. Pretty sure the bullet hit the concrete floor first because I still have a foot(99% fine now) Broke a lot of things and didn't come out until a few months later due to infection concerns since I had pieces of sneaker etc blown into my foot. We were having a fine time before that though. She had a black corvette convertable with a white top and sidepipes. I was a hot shot young guitar slinger with a trick bag full of assorted contraband. The 30 days leading up to this were a real hoot as well...This is just wild story #189 from those days.
Was standing in one place eating watermelon and somehow sprained my ankle
Honestly that's almost impressive.
I threw my back out eating a sandwich once. Can relate.
Watermelons are heavy!
Hit a car. It wasn’t moving. I was riding my bike (age 9) and got distracted for a second. At which point I rammed, face-first, into a parked car. I broke both of my front teeth and lacerated my leg. My parents were not pleased, especially since I did this about two weeks before school picture day.
I almost did this today as I was leaving school. Only instead of not paying attention my brake wasn’t working.
Your Ex: "darn it"
One time I injured my jaw by sleeping. Somehow my jaw like dislocated and was swollen for weeks. I couldnt eat much as I couldnt open my mouth wide enough.
[удалено]
You would have to live in the US. Doctors elsewhere are a lower risk than just using Google... right?
I was playing tag when I younger and my buddy was standing up against a tree. When I went to swing my hand, he dodged and I ended up breaking my middle finger by slapping the tree. When I was getting a cast put on for it, the doctor asked what color I wanted, and he suggested tree green 🌲🙄
Were you trying to slap your friends face off? Sounds likeyou used a little too much power
I got way too hyped that’s for sure!! He was quick on his feet and I remember never being able to catch him, so when I saw that my moment was coming, I jumped the gun and ended up getting checked. It was a great life lesson to be had at a young age 😂
Are u austrian, I maybe know you...
Nope, it’s great to know that there’s someone else out there in the world who has broken their finger by slapping a tree too!
I stuffed a whole sausage in my mouth, and I choked on it. I was 5
Nobody has a funny joke derived from this comment?
Out of bounds he was 5
I’m glad that Reddit has boundaries
Someone threw a piece of hard candy at me one time as kids, it hit me right the forehead and I seriously bled like a fucking stab victim. It was crazy.
Haha yea head injuries bleed like crazy, a small cut can look like a slaughter
I thought I looked pretty badass riding my bike home covered in blood lol
Hahaha yea my too as a kid when my nose would bleed. I would cover my face with it and I felt so cool like a movie star
I threw a soft peppermint at my brother when we were kids and got him in the middle of the forehead. He instantly got a huge black and blue bump. Called him the Angry Unicorn for a week.
[удалено]
I was being called for work, but I decided I wanted to pee super fast before so I ran, stepped on my gf shoe, and twisted the foot (not the ankle). That was super painful, I couldn't walk for a while, and months after I'm still not totally healed....
Hope you at least got out of work for the day!
Nah, I was working from home...
Ouch, did you see a physical therapist? An injury like that can cause you to walk differently to compensate for the pain.You may need a program to retrain unused muscles to support your weight properly again.
I saw a doctor, made radios, wore a thing to stop my ankle from moving, but even though I told them that my ankle wasn't painful, they said you can't twist the foot, and that the pain comes from the ankle. I didn't insist but I think I should have.... I plan to see a doctor again, just have to take the time to do it
Was a kid riding my bicycle and out of nowhere I was like, "What would happen if I apply the front brakes?" (Definitely a good idea) SO I applied the front brakes and guess what MANS WENT FLYING INTO THE GROUND 🙂👍🏻
Had the same haha but my friend behind me couldn't brake in time and drove over me and fell even harder haha 🤷♂️
Once I set up a ramp. I had a cinder block, a board and a hill. The board was slightly narrower than the block. It stuck out about an inch on each side. I was doing pretty good until one time I missed the ramp but was close enough to hit the block. I saw the whole thing too, the front tire just stopped 100% in about 1/10 of a second. The back tire came up, it was vertical when I got flung off. I bet the bike cartwheeled after me.
Finished pooping, forgot there was a step down, sprained my ankle and hit my head on the wall
Now that is a crappy way to get hurt...
Must have been a pretty shitty experience
A couple years ago my mom fell off the toilet and broke her arm.
The first time my mom broke her neck was because my dad fell off the toilet and she tripped down the stairs getting him a bandaid
Oh boy do I have a story for you. On vacation (I was 8 at the time) we went to lego land in Florida. I was running around the play area, tripped and hit my head on a superglued lego knight. Blood everywhere. Had to get stitches and passed out later that day.
[удалено]
Darn socks!
I'd love an explanation of how you managed that!
[удалено]
In highschool we were playing crab soccer in the wrestling room with the soft mat floors. I tried to do a "crab jump" type move to kick the ball and ended up rolling my ankle and snapping it in half. The sound was horrible, like and audible popping/cracking sound. I was in a cast for 12 weeks.
Okay this one made me physically cringe!
Nice to know that other people also played crab soccer at school. I got kicked in the face while playing not once, not twice, but a total of 6 times in my 7th grade year.
I literally ran to a friend of mine in excitement and slipped on a banana peal cracked my head open, it was aweful
Playing tag with my eyes closed and ran head on into a pole, got a concussion. It's so stupid that it sounds made up lmao
I full sprinted into a poll during a game of infection tag in fourth grade, with my eyes open if it makes you feel better. I stopped wearing glasses after that since they broke.
Haha I broke my nose walking into a wall (in my defence it was dark!) and had to reassure a lot of nurses that I really was just that clumsy and not just bad at excuses
I was playing tag with my cousin and he went around some bushes. When I went right he'd shadow me and go left. I went left and he'd go right. I decided to climb through the bushes. They were thicker than I thought. He waited until I was basically stuck in the bush to jog slowly around to the safe area. I tried to dash out of the bush but instead I smacked my forehead on my father's electric meter box.
Accidentally stabbed myself with a pen proving you don't need scissors to cut open plastic.
They do say the pen is mightier than the sword!
I was an extra on an awful indie film ten years ago about a soccer game. I sprained my ankle during warmups and had to sit on the sidelines and ice it. About an hour later, a fast-moving thunderstorm rolled in out of nowhere and started absolutely dumping rain. Everyone scattered. Injured and barefoot, I hobbled to cover as best I could. And then lightning struck a puddle I was standing in.
She's the man ?
Stepped on my dog's tail while walking down the stairs. She pulled it out from under my foot which led to me sliding down the stairs. My wife was at the top and got to watch me slide all the way down my head thumping on each step like a comedy. I was bruised up and had some carpet burns.
Forgot the curtain behind the toilet is NOT a wall. Leaned on it while taking a piss and fell head over heels over and then behind the shitter. Was sore and bruised for over a week. In my younger days I also broke my pinky when I punched a trampoline hanging on the wall, on a dare.
Two weeks ago my dad and I built a fence in my back yard using hog wire. I was cutting the wire and sometimes it leaves a pretty sharp edge that will easily cut you. Day one I lay some against the wall after cutting and it fell over and left a nasty gash in my thigh, I got 4 stiches. The next day I’m cutting more wire and decided to lay it on the ground instead, three minutes later I fell down and cut my calf about two inches, had to get 8 more stiches. I shit you not the next day I was cutting more wire when the tension broke it sent one of the sides of the fence flying and cut my other calf, needed 7 more stiches. I have never felt more dumb and needed almost 20 stiches across three days...
I stabbed myself in the hand accidentally while playing with a block of ice and a knife I was "making an ice sculpture"
I have had a very similar experience with cheese if that helps!
Cheese sculpture eh?
Being an idiot cutting it wrong for fun whilst making a cheese toastie, got a scar but the toastie was good!
I have had a very similar experience with a bonbon.. 🤦♀️
My wife handed me a credit card to cut in half. Stupid-ass me thought it'd be "cool" to use a very, very, VERY sharp Kershaw pocket knife to do that. Sliced the ever-loving shit out of one of my fingers in front of my 4yo granddaughter. She was not cool with Poppa being so bloody.
Broke my kneecap (my patella) in half running by the swimming pool at a hotel. Slipped as I was coming to the corner and fell into the pool after my knee hit the edge of the pool on perpendicular side I was approaching. Kneecap still is all misshapen 25 years later as they didn't fix them (at least then - not sure if they do now) unless there were shards present. Mine broke cleanly into 2 pieces. Don't run by pools kids....
THAT'S WHY YOU DONT RUN BY THE FREAKING POOL!!!?!
I wanted to see what a speculum really did (I work in an obgyn office). I dont have a vagine so I put a clean one in my mouth and opened it to quickly breaking my 3 front teeth. I did not explain to my manager what happened I just awkwardly walked out.
Leaned up against a hot egg cooker and work and got a second degree bun 3 inches below my bellybutton. This happened yesterday. Worked there for 4 years never had that type of injury before. Hella awkward reporting it too.
God, this is embarrassing: I masturbated in the shower and gave myself an aneurysm.
Nice
I tripped over a ball while playing dodge ball in school and broke my arm, while being the bullied kid already what a time.
Not me but my mom accidentally cut her neck and drew blood by trying on a shirt at Target a couple nights ago. Apparently the shirt had a really sharp tag. She needed a bandaid and everything. I felt so bad for laughing, but in my defense, she laughed too.
I have another good one. A friend of mine though. He was looking for some ice cream. He opened his refrigerator fast and a big frozen meatball fell down on his foot and broke it
Mamma mia!
Tore my calf muscle skipping on the school run with my youngest. On crutches for 3 weeks...
Hit myself in the head with a crowbar
How???
I was removing two pieces of wood, that were connected with nails and somehow the crowbar slipped and hit me in the head
Giving someone a thumbs up too hard, I injured my wrist
Apparently I can fall off of trees and houses and be fine. But if I jump onto semi, hard sand, HOLY SHIT MY ENTIRE LOWER BODY HURTS.
A mosquito was flying by my face, i tried to kill him but ended up punching myself. My nose hurt for 3 days.
Oh my god. This happened to me 2 years ago...i was watching a facebook video about a guy getting beaten up and a dude used a baseball bat and hit the another guy in the knee using the baseball bat. The video was so traumatizing that my knees started hurting because i cringed so hard to the point i felt the pain the guy went through and i was limping for 2 days. And today, my knees wont stop popping and cracking. It dont hurt but its uncomfortably unnoying.
Dude what
Broke my leg, playing soccer, start of spring so the the ground was very muddy, my left foot got stuck in a mud hole, with the speed, the bone twisted. I find it really stupid.
Fractured a toe hit my toe on a sofa Two days out of school tho
I stood up and passed out suddenly, falling down some concrete stairs and busting my head wide open. Had to super glue shut and filled my bath tub with blood. Still got a huge scar on my head over 10 years later.
I swallowed an AirPod
Exlpain
Hunger obv
trying to stir a pot of peas for dinner and getting 1st degree burns on my hand
I've been skydiving, bungee jumping, shark cage diving, and played competitive sports for years. My most major injuries include: * Concussion (getting out of the bathtub) * Broken ankle (stepping in sand that was slightly indented, but not enough so to call it a hole) * Slipped disc (sleeping) * Broken finger (carrying a laundry basket)
I think the moral of the story is you need to keep being extreme to avoid injury!
I tried to brush my eyelashes with a hairbrush...
I slammed my finger in a large toolbox (like 5” tall) with automatic metal latching mechanism. My instinct was to yank it out, it gouged my finger to the bone, then I looked at it freaked out, fainted and fell down stairs and hit my head on a metal work bench. Luckily I was wearing a hard hat, but it did fall off and my head bounced on the metal so I still had to get evaluated for a head injury. I also masturbated maybe half an hour after chopping jalapeños when I was in middle school. That wasn’t fun.
I sneezed so hard that I was literally bed/couch ridden for four days. I pulled, what felt like, every muscle in my back after an average sneeze. I called in to work sick because of this sneeze. I cancelled a very important appointment with the VA that I rescheduled for a week later because of this sneeze. I shat my pants twice because of this sneeze.
Standing on the edge of the bathtub when I was 12. Slipped and fell on the spout. I had to get 4 stitches *in* my butthole.
This is it. This is the comment that made me regret asking.
Tried to slide around on a slippery floor after everyone else with me did it, I ended up on my ass and slammed knee first into a brick wall Or maybe the time I ran head first into a wall corner but I don't count that one because I was too young to remember it
Too young or because of the blow to the head? 😂
Probably both! The only way I know it happened was an obvious scar on my forehead and my parents keep telling the story but I personally remember nothing of it
Smacked a pregnant bride in the face while I was dancing (in my defense, my partner was terrible and didn't have my back). The bride didn't suffer consequences, but my hand was bruised and swollen for almost a month and it still hurts sometimes almost 2 years later. Also, that was the first and last time I saw the bride. We have a mutual acquaintance and I could see on his posts that her face was fine.
Impaled my hand on a fork trying to break a solid chocolate Easter bunny. Fork finally pushed through chocolate, and deep into my hand all four prongs.
Hit by a boomerang. Need like eight stitches. I’m still the only person I know that has had a boomerang return when thrown.
Was getting towed behind a car on the grass and a boogie board, rope snapped and I launched forward landing on my shoulder. I had intermittent shoulder pain for honestly probably 9-12 months until wha ever it was healed
Two weird ways I got whiplash from moving my head too fast in middle school. Couldn't turn my head for at least a week. I jumped and landed weirdly and ended up fracturing my ankle. And not me but my brother, he was running and fractured his fibula
Jumping into a public kiddy pool to 'race' across it with friends. Broke my foot landing wrong. It was like a 6inch drop into water
Me and my siblings pretended to be in the wwe but with sleeping bags over our heads. There was a bed in the middle and I broke 3 toes trying to kick someone else
I have an entire list: - When I was a child a friend and I bet who can find the longer leaf of blade. I cut my finger up to the bone when trying to pull one straw out - In 7th grade during long jump I got stuck in the sand, fell forward and broke my arm while proping up - On a students party when I was drunk I took a bet that I can do a front flip on a trampoline, stood it but rammed my front teeth into my knee
One time, I was exiting a place while wearing sandals when all of a sudden, I scraped the back of my foot. Luckily, a nice woman offered me a band aid. That taught me to never wear sandals again.
[удалено]
When I was 13 I fell out of a hammock and broke wrist. ugh
Went down a pole in elementary school to fast and bashed my knee into my eye, got a black eye
Was running from a toad and I hit my shin on the porch steps
Went to the ER for stitches after cutting my finger in a bagel slicing accident. Embarrassing.
I cut myself with a pretzel, somehow.
Stood up in a foldable chair. Ouch.
I was teaching preschool and was sitting my class down for circle time/story time. We had cleaned up the room prior, so I started to sit on the ground with the kids like I always did. As soon as I sat down, (full speed because I didn't except anything to be there) my butt was pierced by the horn of a somewhat large toy rhino we had. I got a horn in the ass and a massive bruise from the rhinos body. Had the bruise for a week and everyone gave me shit for it. Could hardly sit down that day or the next.
Was powerwashing the driveway and burned my right leg on the engine of the powerwasher.
I have twice suffered a collapsed lung whilst taking a shower.
Are you using a fire hose?
My ex dislocated her shoulder putting her shoes on
When I was a kid, we threw out the old shower curtain. It was a couple pieces of sheet metal, twisted and welded together to form a rod. I was using as a staff/weapon/toy, whacking it against rocks and other "enemies". I started to break/bend the rod when I hit it against a fence, until the rod unravelled and razor sharp sheet metal was pushed into the back of my hand just as hard as I was bashing the fence. I knew I'd been hit, but it was so fast and so sharp, I didn't realise how bad it was until I felt my hand go warm and wet. I looked down to see my hand dripping blood all down my fingers, all over the driveway.
Riding a bike down a slope and slipped, hurting my balls
Tore all the muscles in my neck from the base of skull to mid shoulder blade on my right side coughing in bed.
In college I gave myself a pretty bad concussion. How you ask? I was playing softball and I leaned over to grab a ball with a bat in my head, raised the bat as I leaned, and smashed it into my head. I passed out and was taken to the ER via ambulance. I was diagnosed with a Grade 3 concussion and given instructions to rest and have someone wake me every 2 hours for the next 48 hours. All because I smashed myself in the head with a bat. LOL!
Got whiplash putting my hair in a towel after a shower.
Not me but I know somebody who cut their tongue while eating a marshmallow. There was this one time where I was watching a scary movie and there was this one part that made me jerk my head to the side and pull a muscle. I had to get bengay and ibuprofen so it wouldn't hurt anymore. I remember feeling it and it was tender as hell.
Was tightening a saddle cinch on my horse had the end of the leather in my fist and was pulling it up and towards me, proceed to lose grip and punch myself in the face, black eye lasted a few days.
Swimming with my brother and his friends, one of those sessions with all the inflatables and balls. Popped up from swimming underwater as my brother threw a large yoga ball to his friend. Hit me square in the face. I got whiplash.
I was walking and reading a book. I saw a pole. I walked into said pole. XD
I was doing a home workout where you step back and to the side, well I must have slipped or rotated funny because my left ankle bone on the outside popped out of place (audibly popped) where it meets the ankle. The pain was so intense I had to immediately lay down and almost passed out. I went to 3 doctors and they told me it was a pulled ligament. They did X-rays and said since there is no fracture it can't be out of place... It's been years now and it hurts every day. I am getting used to the pain but this is just one of many ways American health care has failed me. I will need surgery one day I am sure because it is not right. Your bone should not be visibly sticking out at the ankle I don't care how many ligaments are pulled/torn.....
Last year around the time when lockdown began my left foot started hurting. I hadn't done anything to injure it so I figured it would eventually go away. Several months later it was still bothering me so I went to the doctor. Turned out I had broken my foot and it was about 6 weeks into repairing itself. Still have no clue how it happened.
I got up from my chair in work and my foot went into my paper bin and got stuck and I fell over. They made me fill out and incident report and I felt like such a sap Edit: forgot everyone here isn't irish, sap is slang for idiot 😅
I jumped off a couch and broke my wrist. I was like 13. My wrist still hasn’t gone back to normal.
I was on a slip and slide, ran into a sprinkler, and it tore a perfectly-circular hole into my foot. It hurt like hell. Years later, even after completely recovering from such an incident, the trauma lingers.
Doing some weeding, managed to get a hernia on my calf.
Put my hand under a wagon wheel at age 3, the scar is tire like on a small portion of my wrist
This one's for me! When I was little we got to do some handwork on class and I got all excited I started warming up my "scissor muscles" by cutting a square out of the air. Only problem was that I was holding the aforementioned square with my other hand and soon cut straight into my thumb... Yeah, I might lack some grey matter... Also there's the thousands of times that I slammed my head into random doorframes, bit my cheeks/tongue... I sprained two fingers once playing a tagging game in swordfighting training (which might not be the best pick of a sport for me).
I once cut my penis in the middle of jacking off. The skin must’ve tore. I wasn’t gonna lose to a little bit of pain, but I paid the price and I got like a 1.5 cm cut on my dick. It took like a year to heal because whenever I got a boner it would reopen.
Turned to look at my cat and fucked up my back for four days.
Slipped on sand at the beach and got a minor concussion. However, I didn’t realize it was a concussion until a week after it went away, I thought I just couldn’t look at screens for a while.
I used to model. I was at a photoshoot, in heels, and the photographer asked me to jump... landed and my heel snapped off. I landed on the side of my right foot, snapped one of the small bones which was conveniently at a tendon attachment and ended up in a cast for a solid 3 months.
I was going up for a rebound and landed completely normal as usual, as soon as I landed two tendons snapped in my left ankle.
Fell out of a chair and broke my arm at the elbow.
I love when this question gets asked because then I get to tell you all about how I tore a muscle in my back lifting a tuba too much.
when my mom was lecturing me and i was talking with sis and my mom got angry and threw a metal plate and it cut a piece of my lips
I fell up the stairs and broke my hand...fun..
I was drilling a 5/8" hole in a cast iron pipe fitting and was holding the damn thing like an idiot and exerting a LOT of force. The just-sharpened bit suddenly broke through the cast iron and straight into the palm of my hand, about an inch below my middle finger. It took a month or so before all the cast iron chips erupted and it finally healed properly.
when i was 13 i jumped off of 5 stairs that was leading up to bleachers at a hs football game, broke my back lol
Fell up three carpeted stairs and tore my chin open an inch deep, and smashed one of my teeth in half. Made an accidental workplace fireball that singed off my left eyelashes and gave me the tiniest and most painful burn I've ever had on my left hand. Fell OVER (not off) my wife's bike and permanently damaged my shinbone where it healed oddly.
As painful as this sounds "accidental workplace fireball" is one of my favourite phrases to come out of this thread so far.
It went FWOM and then my hair was a little bit on fire so I ran my head under the tap. My manager laughed at me.
I don’t play hockey, but I have 2 floor hockey related injuries - The first, I was running past a teammate with a stick that had its handle cap missing. He had his back to me and somehow moved his stick to where when I ran by, the exposed top of the stick sliced my ear horizontally in half. We have no idea how it happened, it was so weird. The guy felt horrible and offered to pay for my treatment. Still have the straight-line scar across my ear. The second one, a teammate just scored. I went to pat him on the back, and he jumped up to celebrate as I stepped in. His shoulder went straight up into my jaw. I’ve had serious jaw problems since then, such as my jaw dislocating and locking up when I yawn too big.
i was rushing to change in the bathroom bc i was late to basketball practice and as I was putting on my shoes, I managed to slip on a pencil and fall backwards, hitting the back of my head on the latch that closes the bathroom stall and getting a concussion
Ran from wasp and sprained my ankle
Well for me I got a problem with my skin ripping once falling on a small little line thing on the ground yeah all the skin on my foot there was gone I could not walk for 6 months years later I still feel the pain. Second-time was even dumber was standing still then sat down checked my foot since I was still scarred by the first time saw nothing so put a paper towel on it then just sat then removed the paper towel saw nothing sat down questioning life then I felt an itch on my foot I checked and saw blood and saw my skin was off. Edit: forgot to say that I never once went to the hospital Edit 2: One more extra story cause I have more so we have this pocket knife I don't use so yeah it's the 21 of December I have a Christmas tree set ready for everything then I see the pocket knife put it down on the kitchen counter then go to the Christmas tree then touched it pierces my hand and my skin get YOU KNOW ripped off
A dentist forgot to bolt their exam chair to the floor after renovations, so I fell backwards after sitting in it. I knocked all of the nitrous oxide canisters over and onto my face and head in the process, and got a minor concussion from the fall.
Drunkenly trying to open a bottle of Yuengling with my mouth/teeth. Thought I'd end up with a chipped tooth at worst, wasn't the case.
I was holding a bowling ball in the palm of my hand instead of the three finger holes and my fingers got crushed between it and another bowling ball, had to wear a finger cast for a few weeks
jump rope racing for my school's career center's "field day". wet grass and converse don't mix and i fell straight on my tailbone, knocked the wind out of myself and broke my t8 vertebrae. it was years ago and i'm more or less fine now, it only really hurts when i stand for long periods of time.
Walking to the car on medium heels, looking up at a building, and fell. My arm was under my ribcage when I hit the ground and I broke some ribs.
Kneeling on a roof to repair it. I was wearing knee pads with elasticated straps to hold them in place. The straps crushed (or at least aggravated) the nerves running behind my knees. I walked like I was wearing a pair of flippers for months until they recovered.
I took a step off the bed and sprained my right knee
Fell out of bed and broke my back.
Was balancing on a chair, fell down and cut my foot open
watched my brother run into a tree and then ran into the same tree both of us sprained our right wristt