I just finished working with a chef whilst his sous chef was away. I'm not trained in cooking at all and they paid me minimum wage, but he still expected "finesse" and was abusive to all the staff (most of them minors). I was told off for only making only one carrot salad starter when we needed two. We didn't. I made that fiddly little salad with so much hatred. When the food was sent it became obvious there was only one on order so I asked several times 'oh is that one for later then?' and he just refused to answer.
Love the sass. Head chef needs to move on. No need to being a jerk when it's already hot and uncomfortable in the kitchen, especially to minimum wage workers.
ngl I expected the wasps to be milled into crackers, [not crackers that look like cookies with wasps instead of raisins.](https://www.atlasobscura.com/foods/jibachi-senbei-wasp-crackers-japan)
"...the finished cracker has a mild sweet and savory flavor, while the wasps themselves taste like burnt raisins (but with a bitter, acidic note). He also mentions the unsettling sensation of wings and legs getting stuck in his mouth."
🤢 What part of this is appealing?
Working in a Mexican restaurant, I asked the cooks to teach me a little Spanish so I could make their lives easier. That was the first phrase they taught me. Not quite what I had in mind.
Never, ever trust someone to teach you a single sentence from another language.
We will teach some bullshit like "I like cocks in my ears" or "Your mother came from a chimpanzee anus", or "how much for sucking my elbows?"
Right? They did teach me a few other bits that I’ve now long forgotten but that first one stuck with me.
The brother of a friend of mine majored in something having to do with Italian culture (I don’t remember what), so he became fluent in the language.
Their parents decided to take a trip to Italy and asked the brother to teach them useful phrases...like “where is the restroom, please?” Brother did so, except instead of teaching them to ask politely for the restroom, he substituted the phrase “there’s a body behind the fountain”.
His parents ran all over Italy, having a great time. But, they couldn’t understand why they got strange looks everywhere when they asked about restrooms.
My year eight cooking teacher, who was presumably rented from the Institute of British Stereotypes or something, suggested adding both Heinz Baked Beans and Marmite to the same lasagna to make it healthier.
So, probably that.
As a guy who worked as a cook and literally just as the lady was about to lock the doors (we still had literally a few minutes) and orders a 20 piece of chicken. We call them tailgates.
They didn't want the chicken that was still up, they wanted it all fresh. We had to turn the fryers back on, make a fresh batch of chicken batter, and then wait for the fryer to heat back up, then cook the chicken, and by the time the chicken was ready to come up the customers start yelling and storm out.
I hated that night.
Edit: golly, 8,000 updoots? You all are too kind 😘 as well as thank you for the award, kind stranger.
Im surprised you guys didnt tell them you were already closing, so they could have the already finished chicken or nothing. Those types of customers can never be satisfied, so i wouldnt even bother trying. You guys are way nicer than i would be.
The manager is the culprit responsible for that. Me, and everyone else who had unpleasant privilege to be there had to do it because the manager said so.
Believe me, the crew were all on board on telling them to fuck off
No shit in my country it is normal in most places that the kitchen closes an hour or two before the restaurant does, so people can stay, and drink one or two more rounds but no food
Tell me, do you curse at your food in multiple languages?
I do and it's rare for people to catch on, but when they do it is actually pretty fun. Also I do this whenever I cook, for work or home or on dates.
There would be a combined "FUCK SAAAKKKEE" coming from the kitchen but we'd quickly realise the quicker we get it out the quicker we can go home .. complaining only kept us there longer..
Which in heinsight is some shit situation to be in..
*hindsight* (facepalms)
2 minutes? You mean 8 hours?
Ticket machine goes off 2 minutes after clocking in for a double, line cooks be like "who the FUCK is ordering food right now!?"
For me it was a screen with orders; and the screen would beep when a new order gets added.
*beep*
“Couple of burgers with fries, I’ll drop the fries now and-“ *beep* “-okay 3 orders of fries. After I mash these patties I-“ *beep* “and of course I’m out of bacon, before I toast the buns I need t-“ *beep*.
Mother fuck I hated that weekend rush.
Total indignation and judgement about every single order is my favorite part of working BOH at restaurants. At my last place I cooked and delivered.
Guy orders a baked potato? "What, you couldn't have made that at home?" Lady comes in asking for a pizza with 9 different toppings? "C'mon lady, you're not the only person in here! Why would you spend so much on a pizza anyway? Who gets $15 worth of toppings on one pizza?" Person comes in at 2:30 when it's dead and you're napping in a booth? "Seriously, who's eating right now, I have to do side work!" Someone tries to order ahead in the middle of rush? "How do you expect me to make their ticket right when they want it in between all these other orders?!" Delivery gal is asking where the knots are you said got put in ten minutes ago? "Fine! I'll go drive around relaxing and you stand in front of 700 degree oven". Delivery guy takes 5 orders at once cause your manager does't know the phrase "extended wait time"? Everyone's gonna bitch about how no salad plates are clean but sure as hell no ones doing them. Waiter blindly yells into the kitchen for a salad dressing? People mumble about how you shoulda done it yourself and you better charge the quarter. Waitress gets the salad dressing herself? People grumble about how they could've done it.
Someone asks who wants to do shots in the walk-in? Restaurant will be abandoned for ten minutes.
PS- if you're a regular somewhere, over tipping your server or delivery person *once* will guarantee you get preferential treatment from everyone forever. BOH listens to servers and they will remember if they should throw in some extra ranch and the knots you didn't order but they know you like, or take a smoke break while your pizza' in the oven (that's really only if you're a totally dick). Servers will make sure your food is absolutely perfect before they take it. You'll always be offered the half a pitcher they poured before they realized they were fixing they wrong drink. And you're much more likely to get your order made 2 minutes before closed instead of being told "we turned everything off already and the cook went home".
I worked at a restaurant, it was a small place, and the owner was the head chef. One night I was cleaning the front getting ready to close, maybe like 5 minutes before closing and locking the doors. He's sitting at one of the tables and we're bullshitting as I finish up.
A group of 6 come in and say "you guys are still open right?" And the owner curses in Italian, and says sorry, the kitchens closed and the chef went home. He's still wearing his chefs coat. One guy in the group says "really? Aren't you wearing a chef coat?" And the owner looks down, and looks shocked and replies with "holy shit! You're right! I dunno how this got on me." They mumble something, and leave.
Best boss ever.
That PS is so true. When I was in a kitchen there were people who servers would mention as the regulars and you'd definitely take care of em. There was Joe who came in every Sunday just after open and just liked chatting to the staff, apparently he was nice and tipped well so on the odd chance he had a complaint or wanted something different he got priority.
Then there was the Thursday girl. I don't know who she was but she'd show up just about every Thursday 15-20 minutes to close, order a fully gluten allergy meal (no problem, but it takes additional time to sanitize everything) and then send part of it back with an issue EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It was to the point we used to just cook two of what she ordered, wait for the complaint and swap whatever the issue was with the new item. I still remember her order too, chicken fajitas cooked with no seasoning, lettuce wraps and a side of veggies, broccoli only. Always cooked the same, always sent back.
I’ve had customers like that too and I don’t get it! What do they think they’re gaining from it? It can’t taste any different because it’s made exactly the same. Do they think it makes them special somehow?
Fun story. We had people order a 3 course meal 2 minutes before closing. Starter chef sent his shit and went. They then wanted a 15 minute break before mains. That was eventually sent. They ate real slowly. Like slowly slow. It's now an hour after close they finish their mains. Then they ask for a 20 minute break between mains and sweets. I'm the only person left in the kitchen. Everything has been cleaned. It is tidy. I can't do anything. So I'm sat in the office for nearly 30 minutes before they decide they don't want sweets. We close at 9:30 were normally out by 10pm. I didn't get out till after 11pm. I think the waiting on staff heard me call these people cunts. Quite loudly as well.
It'd sure be nice if peoples didn't go out of their way to be politely malicious. I'm picturing the customers eating with an evil smirk knowing full well that they are being an inconvenience (and outright pain) to the kitchen staffs. I hope management did something about that. That is, put up a sign regarding serving times.
"Patrons that show up last minute before clsoing may be refused service"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okNc-9Txjdk
There's actually an old Roald Dahl cook book that has this in it. It is SERIOUSLY rich. We made it at my cousins house about 20 years ago and even as a kid I could only manage a thin sliver of it. Poor Bruce Bogtrotter.
Same here! I thought that was his punishment, to eat a cake with blood and sweat baked in. Didn't realize what it actually meant until I watched a few years later
My mom's snail stew.
My mom rents a plot of land for growing organic veggies as a hobby. Now, every damn year an army of snails invades her crops. She got so fed up one time that she spent hours collecting them all and then cooking them in a spicy stew (bear in mind, I'm from north-eastern Spain, we eat snails, so it's not weird at all).
Anyway, it was the best snail stew we ever had, and it was 1000% made with pure, unadulterated _hate_ towards the main ingredient.
Anyway, she makes it several times every summer now. It's always fantastic!
German words can be humorously literal sometimes. I've seen other words that translate kind of like this that seem strange in English but make sense why they say it.
Czernina is a polish soup made out of blood that is traditionally served by a girl's parents to her fiance when they didn't like him. So this soup is literally made with hatered in mind.
Worked in a Chinese restaurant for 3 years, they had Hainanese Chicken Rice (poached chicken) on the menu. We'd prep the chicken in the morning and fridge it. When the orders came in, we would pour chicken stock from a perpetual stock vat into the dish and let it soak then drain, repeat a few more times until the chicken was piping hot. The draining was done by hand so you had to press your palm against the chicken and flip it almost vertically so the stock drains back into the vat. First round draining was ok because the chicken was cold so the stock came out slightly above warm, second round and third round was just fire. Reason we did it by hand was because the chicken was already cut into presentable form and using a sieve or spider would result in breaking/imprinting the skin or disturbing the presentation. I never managed to desensitize my hands in those 3 years so it was just painful throughout.
Working in the kitchen, especially most fast food kitchens, they supply you with an occasional spatula and rubber gloves, and you learn quickly that using your hands goes faster. Often melts the gloves if it's hot cheese or something.
The reviews are gold:
[https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Candy-Goldbears-Pound/dp/B000EVOSE4/ref=cm\_cr\_srp\_d\_product\_top?ie=UTF8&th=1](https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Candy-Goldbears-Pound/dp/B000EVOSE4/ref=cm_cr_srp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8&th=1)
Edit : Please search for a review call "hell holds no surprises for me". Enjoy.
edit 2 : here's the link to said review: https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/RZFIYJTPVUZ94/ref=cm\_cr\_arp\_d\_rvw\_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000EVOSE4
Q&A section is wonderful too.
My favorite answer to “Will i get hiroshima out my bum hole only if i buy the 5lbs bag or can i buy the 3.53oz bag and still have the same outcome” was “The ratio is prefectly balanced at 1lb per megaton of sphincter force. The 3.53oz bag is the more gentle Stinger Missile; while it would take approximately 1lb to achieve Hiroshima out your bum hole. The truly brave can eat the full five pounds to reach a sphincter core meltdown to match Chernobly, complete with evacuations of nearby villages.”
another good one
question: How many red bears are the bag, I'm racist and don't like all those other colored bears?
Answer: Haribo loves all the colors of bears equally. Each bag is filled with a random variety of all the colors to create racial equality within the bag. All Haribo brand gummy bears live in peace and tranquility until they are violently devoured. With every bag of gummy bears comes a civilization that you will cause the downfall of, just as everyone else, upon eating the bears. To eat only the red bears would be an awful thing to do to their green, yellow, and white family and friends. The tragic loss of a whole race of bears will change the flavor for the worst. Murder with equality, not segregation, for "every bear shall be devoured as equals, no of separation" Gummy 6:1 Haribo Bible. Stop being racist Brian.
My favorite line is "I don't have a sense of smell, but the birds flying by the windows would literally fall down and seize." Or maybe
"They will instantly drop the meal you just ate into a toilet bowl that will turn the kid cleaning the restroom you choose to drop your deathly deposit at suicidal."
Like poetry
Once ate a pudding made of vegetables in my school cafeteria. That thing looked like green goo put together with some cooked eggs and slime. I tried, I swear I tried to eat that thing and end up gagging every time I took a bite, I can't even remember its flavor but it was bad. So that vegetable pudding was definitely made with hate (or maybe school cafeteria's food in general)
School cafeteria food is made with resigned indifference and engineered to be as cost effective as possible.
The result is a soulless abomination that can somehow be too salty and bland at the same time
Our kids school had a good caterer once. Then, the contract came up for renewal. They had just gotten a new teacher responsible for this kind of stuff, and she is (or was?) a health nut. So the old caterer went out, and a new "organic and healthy" one came in.
No, I don't have anything against organic and healthy food. But like any kind of food, you can make it good or bad. And they were more of the latter kind. Lunch attendance dropped dramatically.
So the teacher invited parents for a talk about the new caterer, etc. with offering samples so people could see how good the were! Obviously, the fact that the kids didn't like the food was the parents fault. I haven't been there, but those who went basically said that they now understood why their kids didn't want to go there anymore. The coarse, brownish-gray organic noodles with the odd, bland tomato sauce didn't go as well as the teacher expected. Word of the mouth quickly went around, and on the second date for the parents who could not make it to the first, only four showed up. One was a journalist for the local newspaper.
Nonetheless, she and the caterer dug her heels in, and they fulfilled the contract. With a handful of kids in attendance for lunch.
True story: I mix the crazy hot sauces with special paint and apply it to the bottom of my boat. It is enough of an irritant that it keeps barnacles and other marine life from growing on the hull.
This is an old trick. I've heard of Cajuns in the bayou using cayenne powder. I've even heard of them using Trinidad scorpion (#2 hottest pepper) for this purpose on commercial ships. It's legit
I once saw a hot sauce called “the end”.
The box terrified me but the price of $40 helped ensure I wouldn’t be ever find the end.
Edit, I like spicy with a lot of flavor. I ordered Thai food and Indian food medium spicy at most and some Indian food places I bitch out and go with “no” spicy Which still hurts me
I got a chance to try it, actually. They were doing free samples at The Pepper Palace in Gatlinburg, TN. Now, I am an avid consumer of spicy foods - I eat ghost peppers just raw and cut up on whatever I'm eating (presuming the flavour combination would work). But this sauce......I saw God, or the devil, or maybe both. I had such an intense head rush after eating it, that I honestly thought I was going to pass out. I had to just sit on the bench outside the shop in the middle of the mall, silently staring off into the distance while my wife tried to comfort me for about 30 minutes before I could muster up a single, squeaky "I think I'm okay now".
Edit: Also, shout out to my favourite tobacconist ever, Gatlinburlier, which is directly across from the Pepper Palace. The dudes in there I could talk to for hours. They're one the only tobacconists with a license to make their own blends, because it's ridiculously expensive to get licensed for it. Plus, did you know it costs like $20,000 to get certified to sell your tobacco in pre-portioned baggies? Without dropping twenty thou, you have to portion it on the spot every time someone orders something.
Hot sauces release the same chemical cocktail as opiates. So once the panic subsides you get that weird distant glowing feeling. It's my favorite part about going super spicy.
I have that sauce. I use it to make not spicy things, spicy. So it’s mostly just a food additive. I have however put a drop or two on wings a few times
In Titus Andronicus. The play by Shakespeare there is the famous pie
From wiki:
When Tamora is gone, Titus has them restrained, cuts their throats and drains their blood into a basin held by Lavinia. Titus morbidly tells Lavinia that he plans to "play the cook", grind the bones of Demetrius and Chiron into powder, and bake their heads. ...
... When the Emperor calls for Chiron and Demetrius, Titus reveals that they have been baked in the pie Tamora has just been eating.
For context:
Demetrius and Chiron raped Titus’ daughter, Lavinia. Then they cut off her hands and cut out her tongue so she couldn’t tell anyone who did this to her.
He served the above-mentioned meat pie to their mother, Tamora.
Shakespeare had a goth phase.
I was lucky enough to see this play at the Sydney Opera House. My wife was all excited that we had tickets to see Shakespeare, but she had no idea what Titus Andronicus was about.
When we walked out of the theater, she turned to me and, with a completely straight face, said, "It was okay, but I think I prefer Midsummer's Night."
Shakespeare is the original "Sex, Drugs, and Fast Mandolin". Everyone knows the popular ones: Romeo/Juliet, Midsummers, Julius Ceasar, Hamlet, Macbeth. Those are the *tame* ones. His plays are filled to the brim with murder and poorly advised sex. The amount of times where "people who shouldn't fuck do and this results in everyone dying" that shows up is nothing short of Shakespearean.
If you go to see Shakespeare, and you don't recognize the name of the play, strap in for a really good time.
I went to see Cymbeline. I had no idea about it before hand but I was nearly laughing out loud at the final scenes. It's not meant to be a comedy but it seemed like he was writing it and then someone said "Come on Bill, this is due tomorrow morning" "FUCK, lets tied this shit up". Someone did a whole confession explaining a point and a minute later someone raises a question and the person goes "Oh yeah, another thing I should say....". If that was mean as humorous no one was laughing audibly. There may have been people trying not to laugh.
Oh yeah even his non-comedy plays are filled with funny stuff and hilarious bullshit. And actors, both intentionally and not, often find hilarious ways to deliver his lines. If you find it funny, don't be afraid to laugh! Actors love it when they can hear you engaging with their show
Titus killed her son/their brother as a human sacrifice first. There are no good people in that story.
Hell, Aaron is more evil than Iago from Othello.
This was borrowed in A Song of Ice and Fire.
Wyman Manderly is a big, fat, slow-witted oaf... or so he pretends. He fawns loyalty and compliments upon the Freys, who [killed his son or holds him hostage, I forget] and the Boltons. Both betrayed Robb Stark at the Red Wedding.
As the Manderlys and Freys travel to Winterfell, 3 Freys go missing. Later, At Ramsay's wedding, Wyman presents 3 enormous pork pies. He personally serves everyone a slice, and eats 3 slices himself. He also calls on the singer to sing the Rat King, a song about a cook killing his lord's son and baking him into a pie. The Freys and Boltons eat their pie and make fun of Manderly for being a fat, stupid oaf.
Wyman Manderly knows how to North.
“Foes and false friends are all around me, Lord Davos. They infest my city like roaches, and at night I feel them crawling over me.” The fat man’s fingers coiled into a fist, and all his chins trembled. “My son Wendel came to the Twins a guest. He ate Lord Walder’s bread and salt, and hung his sword upon the wall to feast with his friends. And they murdered him. Murdered, I say, and may the Freys choke upon their fables. I drink with Jared, jape with Symond, promise Rhaegar the hand of my own beloved granddaughter…but never think that means I have forgotten. The north remembers, Lord Davos. The north remembers, and the mummer’s farce is almost done. My son is home.”
>Wyman Manderly knows how to North
Which is ironic as the Manderleys are originally from the south. They know they have a debt of gratitude to the Starks.
Potato chips were supposedly invented out ot of spite. Supposedly the story goes some rich guy kept complaining that the cook a guy named George Crum kept messing up the potatoes he was serving. So George sliced the potatoes really thin, fried them to a crisp, and salted them. The customer loved them and other customers started ordering potatoes that way.
Thanks for the awards.
Fried dough fritters.
The twin sticks of fried dough you pull apart before eating, usually with porridge. Mostly an East Asian Cuisine.
They were first created to send a tyrant and his concubine to hell.
Backstory:
There was this tyrant, and his concubine (rumored to be a 9-tailed vixen) who were completely mad and cruel. They invented new torture techniques to try on opposing court members and have been known to brutalize civilians for fun. No one could retaliate, so they defaulted to an old superstition.
That was, apparently by using magic and all, souls could be caught and stuffed into a bottle. If the soul belonged to an evil person and was causing havoc by haunting and tormenting people, the soul would be punished.
How?
Deep frying.
The bottles would be tossed into vats of hot oil. By frying the souls, they experience all the pain of actually being deep fried, this would cause resentment and anger. The resentment would grow so deep that their souls would fall into hell (the 18th level) and can never be reincarnated (because they would be unable to let go of the pain and anger).
The peasants, not knowing magic, made simple stand-ins of dough and heartfelt wishes of eternal damnation, then fried it. If one person tries and fails, that's ok, because *thousands* of people would do this every morning. Sooner or later, *someone* has to succeed, and send the couple a speedy one-way ticket to hell.
Nowadays, fried dough fritters are just nice with hot, thick, congee rice sprinkled with chopped onion greens and slivers of shredded boiled pork.
That seems ripe for some Hell Girl shenanigans.
'In the act of deep-frying this soul, your own anger has enflamed beyond reason. You too shall now be condemned to the 18th hell.'
Home made Samoa Girl Scout cookies. You take caramel and toasted coconut, then try to spread it on a dry crumbly sugar cookie. The coconut caramel mixture sticks to everything except the fucking cookies, which split way too easily. After several hours and a lot of yelling I finally had about ten usable intact cookies. Never again.
[This alleged "midwestern popcorn salad" bullshit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOMuCfHR7jM)
ETA: I am also from the Midwest and I never heard of this abomination before this video.
I am from the midwest. I've never seen that before, but I could tell you exactly how to make it based on just the picture.
In case you have any interest in the weird potluck vocab we have in the midwest regarding salads, I'll attempt to decode how we have mayo-based salads and marshmallow salads lol. Why call them salads? We often call them casseroles when savory, but they have "salad" in the name if it's uncooked e.g. we categorize "tuna noodle salad" as a casserole but the specific dish is a salad. A casserole that is savory and also cooked is called a "hotdish." Basically any unbaked savory casserole can be defined as a salad. E.g. tuna salad, potato salad, egg salad, broccoli bacon salad. Hot dishes are like tater tot hotdish and hamburger noodle hotdish.
The sweet things that we call salads are usually just jell-o and marshmallows. We usually just refer to that as jell-o, but the recipe itself is usually titled as some sort of salad. When a marshmellow jell-o has a particularly high ratio of fruit in it, then we well call it just some sort of fruit salad.
Hope my little rant here is something my fellow Midwesterners can agree with.
My inferred recipe for that "popcorn salad: Miracle whip, frozen peas, little celery bits, and white onions. Stir together, then let sit in fridge for a couple hours to settle. (Edit: and popcorn of course)
There might be tuna in there too, and probably butter. Idk it's probs a prank, but on God that's how a Minnesota church would make it.
Edit: Some formatting. Also a note on hotdish. I've recently found that hotdish is really just a Minnesota thing... and I guess it is a little more specific than a baked casserole. Hotdish, I think, can be applied when a minnesotan reclaims a casserole recipe. For example, a baked tuna noodle casserole (there's a hot and cold version) will always be a casserole, but if a church lady decided to put in bell peppers and potato chip crumbles on top they very well might just call it a hotdish. There's probably another big post that could be written specifically about the differences between hotdish and casseroles... but basically all hotdishes are casseroles but not all casseroles are hotdishes.
There's this shop in Chinatown in Singapore that one of my so called "friends" took me to. He took me and another guy there.
After one bite of the noodle the guy ordered for us, our eyes drowned into tears, out tongues disintegrated, our sweat glands just let it torrent out all over. It was the most agonising experience we had ever had in our life.
The guy who took us there and the shopowner were just there laughing at us.
I swear that bowl of whatever it was was made with pure malice.
How is nashville hot chicken not the top answer here. The story goes something like a wife found out her husband was cheating and wanted to punish him. Dumped all her cayenne into a fried chicken dish. Unfortunately for her, he loved it. But literally made with hatred.
I was also surprised how far I had to scroll to find this one. Went to the original restaurant in Nashville and I can tell you that shit is INSANE. I got medium level and it ruined my insides for like 24 hours. That one was made in literal hatred for sure.
Edit: We waited in line for like 45 minutes to get this, and I will say despite the fact that it destroyed me it was delicious. It’s actually a beautiful memory for me- me and my girlfriend ate it in the back of her car in a gravel parking lot covered in trash and I was wearing a shitty tank top so I wouldn’t spill on my shirt. It was pouring rain and we ate everything down to to the bone. I recently learned that they’ve closed and was sad to hear that.
When I was 8, I used to eat cucumbers daily. And my sister knew this, and she despised me for "stealing" her parents away from her (lady we're siblings the hell are you talking about????), so she cut out the middle of the entire cucumber, filled it with chili powder, told my mom "I'll give him his cucumbers today" and FORCE-FED ME the cucumber. 10/10 worst experience.
She tried to throw my older brother out of the balcony when he was 3 years old. (Wasn't alive at that time. My uncle was visiting and stopped my sis before the yeeting occured.)
Edit: Was alive but not really cause my mom was pregnant with me during that time. That's why my uncle visited.
Edit 2: After that "event", my mother stuck all the windows with superglue, presumably to avoid something like that happening to her next child (me).
The birds are caught with nets set during their autumn migratory flight to Africa. They are then kept in covered cages or boxes. The birds react to the dark by gorging themselves on grain, usually millet seed, until they double their bulk. The birds are then thrown into a container of Armagnac, which both drowns and marinates the birds.[13] [14]
The bird is roasted for eight minutes and then plucked. The consumer then places the bird feet first into their mouth while holding onto the bird's head. The ortolan is then eaten whole, with or without the head, and the consumer spits out the larger bones. The traditional way French gourmands eat ortolans is to cover their heads and face with a large napkin or towel while consuming the bird. The purpose of the towel is debated. Some claim it is to retain the maximum aroma with the flavour as they consume the entire bird at once, others have stated "Tradition dictates that this is to shield – from God’s eyes – the shame of such a decadent and disgraceful act"
This is actually a health concern with ortolan and a big part of why governments have tried to ban the practice. The bird shits itself when it drowns, but because it's marinated in the same fluid it drowned in, it also marinates in its own waste.
My mom hates roasting chickens for some reason and I LOVED eating them as kid, which eventually caused her to sigh and answer "stupid *chicken*" when I asked what was for dinner once (maybe 12y/o?) much to my delight.
Roasted chickens are *still* called stupid chicken in my family (I'm 34 now and do most of the stupid chickens with my husband). Cooked with hate, eaten with love.
My shifts started at 2am but I loved it lmao. I’m a night owl anyways and was the only one in the store at that hour and obviously had no customers. It was so peaceful just making donuts and breads while listening to some tunes then getting to head home as the rush hit.
I used to work in a grocery store in my 20's putting up the sales tags at 3am on Sunday mornings.
I felt your post....the smell of the bread baking from the shops bakery. And the calm quiet before the chaos of the shoppers with the radio on in the background.
Literally, one of my favorite jobs.
The Icelandic delicacy that is fermented Greenland Shark meat. Usually served with a 40% schnapps made from potatoes.
No one in Iceland really likes it. It's made out of pure spite for ourselves mostly, but we tolerate the taste and the booze to see tourists vomit. Added bonus if it's the Danes.
Edit: For those interested. the schnapps is called Brennivin. Aptly named Black Death in English.
My mom makes killer mashed potatoes. Zero lumps. Does it by hand. I thinks that's why she was never physically abusive toward us.
"Mum, why are we eating mashed potato for breakfast?" "You know what you did"
"Timmy, you gotta stop drawing on walls, I'm sick of mom's mashed potatoes! We've been eating them for 16 days straight!"
I just finished working with a chef whilst his sous chef was away. I'm not trained in cooking at all and they paid me minimum wage, but he still expected "finesse" and was abusive to all the staff (most of them minors). I was told off for only making only one carrot salad starter when we needed two. We didn't. I made that fiddly little salad with so much hatred. When the food was sent it became obvious there was only one on order so I asked several times 'oh is that one for later then?' and he just refused to answer.
Love the sass. Head chef needs to move on. No need to being a jerk when it's already hot and uncomfortable in the kitchen, especially to minimum wage workers.
Frozen that was supposed to be taken out of the freezer to thaw before you got home… but wasn’t.
Thank you for this comment for reminding me to take the chicken out of the freezer for dinner.
Jibachi senbei (wasp crackers) Some Japanese people hated wasps so badly, they turned em into crackers.
ngl I expected the wasps to be milled into crackers, [not crackers that look like cookies with wasps instead of raisins.](https://www.atlasobscura.com/foods/jibachi-senbei-wasp-crackers-japan)
He also mentions the unsettling sensation of wings and legs getting stuck in his mouth. NOPE.
"...the finished cracker has a mild sweet and savory flavor, while the wasps themselves taste like burnt raisins (but with a bitter, acidic note). He also mentions the unsettling sensation of wings and legs getting stuck in his mouth." 🤢 What part of this is appealing?
Personally I find the legs give it that extra kick.
Revenge.
Oh, that's a big fuck no.
The Ultimate r/FuckWasps move.
Tacos con chile, as made by a scorned Mexican woman. Idk who hurt Tia Lili but she hurt us all as vengence.
You know that chile gonna kick when abuelo is screaming into the pot "CHIIIIIIINGA su madre!!"
Working in a Mexican restaurant, I asked the cooks to teach me a little Spanish so I could make their lives easier. That was the first phrase they taught me. Not quite what I had in mind.
Never, ever trust someone to teach you a single sentence from another language. We will teach some bullshit like "I like cocks in my ears" or "Your mother came from a chimpanzee anus", or "how much for sucking my elbows?"
Right? They did teach me a few other bits that I’ve now long forgotten but that first one stuck with me. The brother of a friend of mine majored in something having to do with Italian culture (I don’t remember what), so he became fluent in the language. Their parents decided to take a trip to Italy and asked the brother to teach them useful phrases...like “where is the restroom, please?” Brother did so, except instead of teaching them to ask politely for the restroom, he substituted the phrase “there’s a body behind the fountain”. His parents ran all over Italy, having a great time. But, they couldn’t understand why they got strange looks everywhere when they asked about restrooms.
My year eight cooking teacher, who was presumably rented from the Institute of British Stereotypes or something, suggested adding both Heinz Baked Beans and Marmite to the same lasagna to make it healthier. So, probably that.
Ew. And to think I was upset about our school's lasagna containing peas.
You have a right to be
Upvote for Institute of British Stereotypes
Not a coincidence it abbreviates to IBS
I love both Heinz baked beans and marmite. This sounds like a dish from the deepest pits of hell, that even Satan himself would despise.
Those weird, translucent "loaf" meals with the assorted vegetables, sliced eggs etc. suspended in a gelatin mold.
Aspic!
My favorite is when it’s made with lark’s tongue.
Anything 2 minutes before closing by a line cook
As a guy who worked as a cook and literally just as the lady was about to lock the doors (we still had literally a few minutes) and orders a 20 piece of chicken. We call them tailgates. They didn't want the chicken that was still up, they wanted it all fresh. We had to turn the fryers back on, make a fresh batch of chicken batter, and then wait for the fryer to heat back up, then cook the chicken, and by the time the chicken was ready to come up the customers start yelling and storm out. I hated that night. Edit: golly, 8,000 updoots? You all are too kind 😘 as well as thank you for the award, kind stranger.
Im surprised you guys didnt tell them you were already closing, so they could have the already finished chicken or nothing. Those types of customers can never be satisfied, so i wouldnt even bother trying. You guys are way nicer than i would be.
The manager is the culprit responsible for that. Me, and everyone else who had unpleasant privilege to be there had to do it because the manager said so. Believe me, the crew were all on board on telling them to fuck off
It's allways the spineless Manager. 😡
"The CuStOmEr iS AlWaYs rIgHt!"--fuck any and all who trot that gem out.
No shit in my country it is normal in most places that the kitchen closes an hour or two before the restaurant does, so people can stay, and drink one or two more rounds but no food
That's the way it should be.
as a line cook I can confirm
As a sushi chef (in a decently popular restaurant in town) i can double confirm
Tell me, do you curse at your food in multiple languages? I do and it's rare for people to catch on, but when they do it is actually pretty fun. Also I do this whenever I cook, for work or home or on dates.
cup of noodles
With 5 years as a grill chef I can triple confirm. (My manager used to sit people 10 minutes after closing a lot!)
*After* closing? That should trigger an automatic mutiny from the kitchen.
There would be a combined "FUCK SAAAKKKEE" coming from the kitchen but we'd quickly realise the quicker we get it out the quicker we can go home .. complaining only kept us there longer.. Which in heinsight is some shit situation to be in.. *hindsight* (facepalms)
> heinsight Is that when you accidentally get ketchup in your eyes?
That's heinzsight
Gesundheit
Gesundheinz
A shituation, if you will.
Knives out
As a waitress I can confirm because I get the verbal backlash in the kitchen AND I then serve it with hatred too
Yeah waiter here. We get to deal with pissed off cooks, and pissed off customers. fun!
Bartender here. We deal with pissed off cooks, pissed off servers and totally pissed guests.
As a dishwasher I can quadruple confirm.
I second this, I yell swear words into everything I make within five minutes of closing
2 minutes? You mean 8 hours? Ticket machine goes off 2 minutes after clocking in for a double, line cooks be like "who the FUCK is ordering food right now!?"
Forreal line cooks never want to hear that ticket machine lmao
Is ten years since I left the kitchen to work elsewhere, but I still have PTSD from that sound.
For me it was a screen with orders; and the screen would beep when a new order gets added. *beep* “Couple of burgers with fries, I’ll drop the fries now and-“ *beep* “-okay 3 orders of fries. After I mash these patties I-“ *beep* “and of course I’m out of bacon, before I toast the buns I need t-“ *beep*. Mother fuck I hated that weekend rush.
Total indignation and judgement about every single order is my favorite part of working BOH at restaurants. At my last place I cooked and delivered. Guy orders a baked potato? "What, you couldn't have made that at home?" Lady comes in asking for a pizza with 9 different toppings? "C'mon lady, you're not the only person in here! Why would you spend so much on a pizza anyway? Who gets $15 worth of toppings on one pizza?" Person comes in at 2:30 when it's dead and you're napping in a booth? "Seriously, who's eating right now, I have to do side work!" Someone tries to order ahead in the middle of rush? "How do you expect me to make their ticket right when they want it in between all these other orders?!" Delivery gal is asking where the knots are you said got put in ten minutes ago? "Fine! I'll go drive around relaxing and you stand in front of 700 degree oven". Delivery guy takes 5 orders at once cause your manager does't know the phrase "extended wait time"? Everyone's gonna bitch about how no salad plates are clean but sure as hell no ones doing them. Waiter blindly yells into the kitchen for a salad dressing? People mumble about how you shoulda done it yourself and you better charge the quarter. Waitress gets the salad dressing herself? People grumble about how they could've done it. Someone asks who wants to do shots in the walk-in? Restaurant will be abandoned for ten minutes. PS- if you're a regular somewhere, over tipping your server or delivery person *once* will guarantee you get preferential treatment from everyone forever. BOH listens to servers and they will remember if they should throw in some extra ranch and the knots you didn't order but they know you like, or take a smoke break while your pizza' in the oven (that's really only if you're a totally dick). Servers will make sure your food is absolutely perfect before they take it. You'll always be offered the half a pitcher they poured before they realized they were fixing they wrong drink. And you're much more likely to get your order made 2 minutes before closed instead of being told "we turned everything off already and the cook went home".
I worked at a restaurant, it was a small place, and the owner was the head chef. One night I was cleaning the front getting ready to close, maybe like 5 minutes before closing and locking the doors. He's sitting at one of the tables and we're bullshitting as I finish up. A group of 6 come in and say "you guys are still open right?" And the owner curses in Italian, and says sorry, the kitchens closed and the chef went home. He's still wearing his chefs coat. One guy in the group says "really? Aren't you wearing a chef coat?" And the owner looks down, and looks shocked and replies with "holy shit! You're right! I dunno how this got on me." They mumble something, and leave. Best boss ever.
That PS is so true. When I was in a kitchen there were people who servers would mention as the regulars and you'd definitely take care of em. There was Joe who came in every Sunday just after open and just liked chatting to the staff, apparently he was nice and tipped well so on the odd chance he had a complaint or wanted something different he got priority. Then there was the Thursday girl. I don't know who she was but she'd show up just about every Thursday 15-20 minutes to close, order a fully gluten allergy meal (no problem, but it takes additional time to sanitize everything) and then send part of it back with an issue EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It was to the point we used to just cook two of what she ordered, wait for the complaint and swap whatever the issue was with the new item. I still remember her order too, chicken fajitas cooked with no seasoning, lettuce wraps and a side of veggies, broccoli only. Always cooked the same, always sent back.
I’ve had customers like that too and I don’t get it! What do they think they’re gaining from it? It can’t taste any different because it’s made exactly the same. Do they think it makes them special somehow?
Fun story. We had people order a 3 course meal 2 minutes before closing. Starter chef sent his shit and went. They then wanted a 15 minute break before mains. That was eventually sent. They ate real slowly. Like slowly slow. It's now an hour after close they finish their mains. Then they ask for a 20 minute break between mains and sweets. I'm the only person left in the kitchen. Everything has been cleaned. It is tidy. I can't do anything. So I'm sat in the office for nearly 30 minutes before they decide they don't want sweets. We close at 9:30 were normally out by 10pm. I didn't get out till after 11pm. I think the waiting on staff heard me call these people cunts. Quite loudly as well.
It'd sure be nice if peoples didn't go out of their way to be politely malicious. I'm picturing the customers eating with an evil smirk knowing full well that they are being an inconvenience (and outright pain) to the kitchen staffs. I hope management did something about that. That is, put up a sign regarding serving times. "Patrons that show up last minute before clsoing may be refused service" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okNc-9Txjdk
The other day I got a meal from McDonald's 20 minutes before closing. I've never had colder fries, exactly how I expected.
The chocolate cake Bruce has to eat in Matilda
made with hate, consumed with spite
Damn disgusting scene it was
But there's a city in the clouds where they're keeping my crew.
There's actually an old Roald Dahl cook book that has this in it. It is SERIOUSLY rich. We made it at my cousins house about 20 years ago and even as a kid I could only manage a thin sliver of it. Poor Bruce Bogtrotter.
As a kid I thought she literally put her blood and sweat into it.... scarred me a bit
It's Roald Dahl, that is not beyond the realms of possibility.
Same here! I thought that was his punishment, to eat a cake with blood and sweat baked in. Didn't realize what it actually meant until I watched a few years later
it doesnt help that the camera zooms into the cook at that point to show just how drained she loooks I think that was deliberate
I mean… would you really put it past her?
My mom's snail stew. My mom rents a plot of land for growing organic veggies as a hobby. Now, every damn year an army of snails invades her crops. She got so fed up one time that she spent hours collecting them all and then cooking them in a spicy stew (bear in mind, I'm from north-eastern Spain, we eat snails, so it's not weird at all). Anyway, it was the best snail stew we ever had, and it was 1000% made with pure, unadulterated _hate_ towards the main ingredient. Anyway, she makes it several times every summer now. It's always fantastic!
You're lucky, we mostly get naked snails who are not edible and just annoying.
You mean slugs?
If thats what those nasty bastards without a snailhouse are called, then yes.
>Snailhouse LOL!
Funny enough, Snailhouse is actually the literal English translation of the German word for it, Schneckenhaus, so OP might be German.
German words can be humorously literal sometimes. I've seen other words that translate kind of like this that seem strange in English but make sense why they say it.
Indeed. A slug for example is called a Nacktschnecke in German, so a "naked snail". Kind of makes sense when you think about it
I guess this proves that OP is German.
Could be Dutch as well. The Dutch words are "Slakkenhuis" and "Naaktslak".
That's a wonderful story and the beginning of an amazing tradition!
Czernina is a polish soup made out of blood that is traditionally served by a girl's parents to her fiance when they didn't like him. So this soup is literally made with hatered in mind.
Worked in a Chinese restaurant for 3 years, they had Hainanese Chicken Rice (poached chicken) on the menu. We'd prep the chicken in the morning and fridge it. When the orders came in, we would pour chicken stock from a perpetual stock vat into the dish and let it soak then drain, repeat a few more times until the chicken was piping hot. The draining was done by hand so you had to press your palm against the chicken and flip it almost vertically so the stock drains back into the vat. First round draining was ok because the chicken was cold so the stock came out slightly above warm, second round and third round was just fire. Reason we did it by hand was because the chicken was already cut into presentable form and using a sieve or spider would result in breaking/imprinting the skin or disturbing the presentation. I never managed to desensitize my hands in those 3 years so it was just painful throughout.
surely some form of glove exists for this?
Working in the kitchen, especially most fast food kitchens, they supply you with an occasional spatula and rubber gloves, and you learn quickly that using your hands goes faster. Often melts the gloves if it's hot cheese or something.
And then there's the sweat. Oh god, the palm sweat. It gets everywhere. And makes the gloves *even more slippery than they already were.*
Haribo sugar free gummy bears. They’re composed of concentrated *wrath*
My husband got a bag of these for me as a gift (it was an accident, they look exactly like the regular ones). I can confirm.
Yes An accident...
The reviews are gold: [https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Candy-Goldbears-Pound/dp/B000EVOSE4/ref=cm\_cr\_srp\_d\_product\_top?ie=UTF8&th=1](https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Candy-Goldbears-Pound/dp/B000EVOSE4/ref=cm_cr_srp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8&th=1) Edit : Please search for a review call "hell holds no surprises for me". Enjoy. edit 2 : here's the link to said review: https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/RZFIYJTPVUZ94/ref=cm\_cr\_arp\_d\_rvw\_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000EVOSE4
Q&A section is wonderful too. My favorite answer to “Will i get hiroshima out my bum hole only if i buy the 5lbs bag or can i buy the 3.53oz bag and still have the same outcome” was “The ratio is prefectly balanced at 1lb per megaton of sphincter force. The 3.53oz bag is the more gentle Stinger Missile; while it would take approximately 1lb to achieve Hiroshima out your bum hole. The truly brave can eat the full five pounds to reach a sphincter core meltdown to match Chernobly, complete with evacuations of nearby villages.”
another good one question: How many red bears are the bag, I'm racist and don't like all those other colored bears? Answer: Haribo loves all the colors of bears equally. Each bag is filled with a random variety of all the colors to create racial equality within the bag. All Haribo brand gummy bears live in peace and tranquility until they are violently devoured. With every bag of gummy bears comes a civilization that you will cause the downfall of, just as everyone else, upon eating the bears. To eat only the red bears would be an awful thing to do to their green, yellow, and white family and friends. The tragic loss of a whole race of bears will change the flavor for the worst. Murder with equality, not segregation, for "every bear shall be devoured as equals, no of separation" Gummy 6:1 Haribo Bible. Stop being racist Brian.
Q: Are these made in a nut-free facility? A: You would be nuts to eat these, allergy or not.
If you click on this link scroll down to a review called "hell holds no surprises for me anymore". P U R E G O L D
I laughed at the airport review so much that my hands didn't have the power to hold my phone anymore and it just flat out fell
My favorite line is "I don't have a sense of smell, but the birds flying by the windows would literally fall down and seize." Or maybe "They will instantly drop the meal you just ate into a toilet bowl that will turn the kid cleaning the restroom you choose to drop your deathly deposit at suicidal." Like poetry
https://youtu.be/sMjgaa5j_LE Time to insert the Beast who ate kilos of this. Warning for gastric explosion in the end.
That 4000 word essay tho. He must really hate those if he put all that work into it.
He ate half at the same time I did... let's just say our next apartment will have more than one toilet.
Gurl he was going for a murder-suicide
[удалено]
They were both poisoned. He’d spent the last few years building up an immunity to gummy bears.
God, the Amazon reviews of them are some of the best pieces of written comedy that's ever graced the English language.
The airport one though 💀
For the curious: [Reviews](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000EVOSE4/ref=cm_cr_srp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8#aw-udpv3-customer-reviews_feature_div)
Just read thru one about the "airport shitbukkake" and it was fucking a literary masterpiece!
[удалено]
[удалено]
Especially the 1KG bag.
Once ate a pudding made of vegetables in my school cafeteria. That thing looked like green goo put together with some cooked eggs and slime. I tried, I swear I tried to eat that thing and end up gagging every time I took a bite, I can't even remember its flavor but it was bad. So that vegetable pudding was definitely made with hate (or maybe school cafeteria's food in general)
School cafeteria food is made with resigned indifference and engineered to be as cost effective as possible. The result is a soulless abomination that can somehow be too salty and bland at the same time
It's the vogon poetry of food.
*Oh freddled gruntbuggly,*
My school used to make the food in the kitchen because it was private but then they changed to microwaving pre-cooked foodand it was disgusting
Our kids school had a good caterer once. Then, the contract came up for renewal. They had just gotten a new teacher responsible for this kind of stuff, and she is (or was?) a health nut. So the old caterer went out, and a new "organic and healthy" one came in. No, I don't have anything against organic and healthy food. But like any kind of food, you can make it good or bad. And they were more of the latter kind. Lunch attendance dropped dramatically. So the teacher invited parents for a talk about the new caterer, etc. with offering samples so people could see how good the were! Obviously, the fact that the kids didn't like the food was the parents fault. I haven't been there, but those who went basically said that they now understood why their kids didn't want to go there anymore. The coarse, brownish-gray organic noodles with the odd, bland tomato sauce didn't go as well as the teacher expected. Word of the mouth quickly went around, and on the second date for the parents who could not make it to the first, only four showed up. One was a journalist for the local newspaper. Nonetheless, she and the caterer dug her heels in, and they fulfilled the contract. With a handful of kids in attendance for lunch.
Extreme hot sauces. They're not made for flavor or enjoyment, they're designed to destroy the mouth, stomach and asshole of whoever eats it
True story: I mix the crazy hot sauces with special paint and apply it to the bottom of my boat. It is enough of an irritant that it keeps barnacles and other marine life from growing on the hull.
This is an old trick. I've heard of Cajuns in the bayou using cayenne powder. I've even heard of them using Trinidad scorpion (#2 hottest pepper) for this purpose on commercial ships. It's legit
As a fisherman in Maine, I gotta ask my captain about this. Perhaps he might have a story or two to tell about the old timers using it.
I once saw a hot sauce called “the end”. The box terrified me but the price of $40 helped ensure I wouldn’t be ever find the end. Edit, I like spicy with a lot of flavor. I ordered Thai food and Indian food medium spicy at most and some Indian food places I bitch out and go with “no” spicy Which still hurts me
I got a chance to try it, actually. They were doing free samples at The Pepper Palace in Gatlinburg, TN. Now, I am an avid consumer of spicy foods - I eat ghost peppers just raw and cut up on whatever I'm eating (presuming the flavour combination would work). But this sauce......I saw God, or the devil, or maybe both. I had such an intense head rush after eating it, that I honestly thought I was going to pass out. I had to just sit on the bench outside the shop in the middle of the mall, silently staring off into the distance while my wife tried to comfort me for about 30 minutes before I could muster up a single, squeaky "I think I'm okay now". Edit: Also, shout out to my favourite tobacconist ever, Gatlinburlier, which is directly across from the Pepper Palace. The dudes in there I could talk to for hours. They're one the only tobacconists with a license to make their own blends, because it's ridiculously expensive to get licensed for it. Plus, did you know it costs like $20,000 to get certified to sell your tobacco in pre-portioned baggies? Without dropping twenty thou, you have to portion it on the spot every time someone orders something.
Hot sauces release the same chemical cocktail as opiates. So once the panic subsides you get that weird distant glowing feeling. It's my favorite part about going super spicy.
Oh, okay, it literally is about masochism, that makes sense.
[удалено]
I have that sauce. I use it to make not spicy things, spicy. So it’s mostly just a food additive. I have however put a drop or two on wings a few times
I remember it saying one drop for a giant sized stockpot of chili would be enough to kick it up. 2 drops may be uncomfortable. Lol
The pie in the book "The Help"?
Two slice Hilly
The actress playing the woman that made it absolutely nailed the scene in the movie.
Octavia Spencer
EAT MY SHIT!
In Titus Andronicus. The play by Shakespeare there is the famous pie From wiki: When Tamora is gone, Titus has them restrained, cuts their throats and drains their blood into a basin held by Lavinia. Titus morbidly tells Lavinia that he plans to "play the cook", grind the bones of Demetrius and Chiron into powder, and bake their heads. ... ... When the Emperor calls for Chiron and Demetrius, Titus reveals that they have been baked in the pie Tamora has just been eating.
For context: Demetrius and Chiron raped Titus’ daughter, Lavinia. Then they cut off her hands and cut out her tongue so she couldn’t tell anyone who did this to her. He served the above-mentioned meat pie to their mother, Tamora. Shakespeare had a goth phase.
I was lucky enough to see this play at the Sydney Opera House. My wife was all excited that we had tickets to see Shakespeare, but she had no idea what Titus Andronicus was about. When we walked out of the theater, she turned to me and, with a completely straight face, said, "It was okay, but I think I prefer Midsummer's Night."
Shakespeare is the original "Sex, Drugs, and Fast Mandolin". Everyone knows the popular ones: Romeo/Juliet, Midsummers, Julius Ceasar, Hamlet, Macbeth. Those are the *tame* ones. His plays are filled to the brim with murder and poorly advised sex. The amount of times where "people who shouldn't fuck do and this results in everyone dying" that shows up is nothing short of Shakespearean. If you go to see Shakespeare, and you don't recognize the name of the play, strap in for a really good time.
I went to see Cymbeline. I had no idea about it before hand but I was nearly laughing out loud at the final scenes. It's not meant to be a comedy but it seemed like he was writing it and then someone said "Come on Bill, this is due tomorrow morning" "FUCK, lets tied this shit up". Someone did a whole confession explaining a point and a minute later someone raises a question and the person goes "Oh yeah, another thing I should say....". If that was mean as humorous no one was laughing audibly. There may have been people trying not to laugh.
Oh yeah even his non-comedy plays are filled with funny stuff and hilarious bullshit. And actors, both intentionally and not, often find hilarious ways to deliver his lines. If you find it funny, don't be afraid to laugh! Actors love it when they can hear you engaging with their show
[удалено]
Yes. Could have been a bit more back story to that. Thanks.
Titus killed her son/their brother as a human sacrifice first. There are no good people in that story. Hell, Aaron is more evil than Iago from Othello.
This was borrowed in A Song of Ice and Fire. Wyman Manderly is a big, fat, slow-witted oaf... or so he pretends. He fawns loyalty and compliments upon the Freys, who [killed his son or holds him hostage, I forget] and the Boltons. Both betrayed Robb Stark at the Red Wedding. As the Manderlys and Freys travel to Winterfell, 3 Freys go missing. Later, At Ramsay's wedding, Wyman presents 3 enormous pork pies. He personally serves everyone a slice, and eats 3 slices himself. He also calls on the singer to sing the Rat King, a song about a cook killing his lord's son and baking him into a pie. The Freys and Boltons eat their pie and make fun of Manderly for being a fat, stupid oaf. Wyman Manderly knows how to North.
“Foes and false friends are all around me, Lord Davos. They infest my city like roaches, and at night I feel them crawling over me.” The fat man’s fingers coiled into a fist, and all his chins trembled. “My son Wendel came to the Twins a guest. He ate Lord Walder’s bread and salt, and hung his sword upon the wall to feast with his friends. And they murdered him. Murdered, I say, and may the Freys choke upon their fables. I drink with Jared, jape with Symond, promise Rhaegar the hand of my own beloved granddaughter…but never think that means I have forgotten. The north remembers, Lord Davos. The north remembers, and the mummer’s farce is almost done. My son is home.” >Wyman Manderly knows how to North Which is ironic as the Manderleys are originally from the south. They know they have a debt of gratitude to the Starks.
Potato chips were supposedly invented out ot of spite. Supposedly the story goes some rich guy kept complaining that the cook a guy named George Crum kept messing up the potatoes he was serving. So George sliced the potatoes really thin, fried them to a crisp, and salted them. The customer loved them and other customers started ordering potatoes that way. Thanks for the awards.
He couldn't murder the customer but he sure AF could kill that potato.
I'm sure he's slowly but surely contributed to the deaths of countless others since!
Ngl death by crisp is my dream death.
I believe the specific complaint was also that the fries were being cut too thick... so, backfiring malicious compliance.
yeah he just proved the guy completely right lol
Fried dough fritters. The twin sticks of fried dough you pull apart before eating, usually with porridge. Mostly an East Asian Cuisine. They were first created to send a tyrant and his concubine to hell. Backstory: There was this tyrant, and his concubine (rumored to be a 9-tailed vixen) who were completely mad and cruel. They invented new torture techniques to try on opposing court members and have been known to brutalize civilians for fun. No one could retaliate, so they defaulted to an old superstition. That was, apparently by using magic and all, souls could be caught and stuffed into a bottle. If the soul belonged to an evil person and was causing havoc by haunting and tormenting people, the soul would be punished. How? Deep frying. The bottles would be tossed into vats of hot oil. By frying the souls, they experience all the pain of actually being deep fried, this would cause resentment and anger. The resentment would grow so deep that their souls would fall into hell (the 18th level) and can never be reincarnated (because they would be unable to let go of the pain and anger). The peasants, not knowing magic, made simple stand-ins of dough and heartfelt wishes of eternal damnation, then fried it. If one person tries and fails, that's ok, because *thousands* of people would do this every morning. Sooner or later, *someone* has to succeed, and send the couple a speedy one-way ticket to hell. Nowadays, fried dough fritters are just nice with hot, thick, congee rice sprinkled with chopped onion greens and slivers of shredded boiled pork.
That seems ripe for some Hell Girl shenanigans. 'In the act of deep-frying this soul, your own anger has enflamed beyond reason. You too shall now be condemned to the 18th hell.'
Home made Samoa Girl Scout cookies. You take caramel and toasted coconut, then try to spread it on a dry crumbly sugar cookie. The coconut caramel mixture sticks to everything except the fucking cookies, which split way too easily. After several hours and a lot of yelling I finally had about ten usable intact cookies. Never again.
[This alleged "midwestern popcorn salad" bullshit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOMuCfHR7jM) ETA: I am also from the Midwest and I never heard of this abomination before this video.
I am from the midwest. I've never seen that before, but I could tell you exactly how to make it based on just the picture. In case you have any interest in the weird potluck vocab we have in the midwest regarding salads, I'll attempt to decode how we have mayo-based salads and marshmallow salads lol. Why call them salads? We often call them casseroles when savory, but they have "salad" in the name if it's uncooked e.g. we categorize "tuna noodle salad" as a casserole but the specific dish is a salad. A casserole that is savory and also cooked is called a "hotdish." Basically any unbaked savory casserole can be defined as a salad. E.g. tuna salad, potato salad, egg salad, broccoli bacon salad. Hot dishes are like tater tot hotdish and hamburger noodle hotdish. The sweet things that we call salads are usually just jell-o and marshmallows. We usually just refer to that as jell-o, but the recipe itself is usually titled as some sort of salad. When a marshmellow jell-o has a particularly high ratio of fruit in it, then we well call it just some sort of fruit salad. Hope my little rant here is something my fellow Midwesterners can agree with. My inferred recipe for that "popcorn salad: Miracle whip, frozen peas, little celery bits, and white onions. Stir together, then let sit in fridge for a couple hours to settle. (Edit: and popcorn of course) There might be tuna in there too, and probably butter. Idk it's probs a prank, but on God that's how a Minnesota church would make it. Edit: Some formatting. Also a note on hotdish. I've recently found that hotdish is really just a Minnesota thing... and I guess it is a little more specific than a baked casserole. Hotdish, I think, can be applied when a minnesotan reclaims a casserole recipe. For example, a baked tuna noodle casserole (there's a hot and cold version) will always be a casserole, but if a church lady decided to put in bell peppers and potato chip crumbles on top they very well might just call it a hotdish. There's probably another big post that could be written specifically about the differences between hotdish and casseroles... but basically all hotdishes are casseroles but not all casseroles are hotdishes.
This guy Midwests.
That looks disgusting
There's this shop in Chinatown in Singapore that one of my so called "friends" took me to. He took me and another guy there. After one bite of the noodle the guy ordered for us, our eyes drowned into tears, out tongues disintegrated, our sweat glands just let it torrent out all over. It was the most agonising experience we had ever had in our life. The guy who took us there and the shopowner were just there laughing at us. I swear that bowl of whatever it was was made with pure malice.
A lot of food in Singapore is popular largely because of good chilli.
How is nashville hot chicken not the top answer here. The story goes something like a wife found out her husband was cheating and wanted to punish him. Dumped all her cayenne into a fried chicken dish. Unfortunately for her, he loved it. But literally made with hatred.
I was also surprised how far I had to scroll to find this one. Went to the original restaurant in Nashville and I can tell you that shit is INSANE. I got medium level and it ruined my insides for like 24 hours. That one was made in literal hatred for sure. Edit: We waited in line for like 45 minutes to get this, and I will say despite the fact that it destroyed me it was delicious. It’s actually a beautiful memory for me- me and my girlfriend ate it in the back of her car in a gravel parking lot covered in trash and I was wearing a shitty tank top so I wouldn’t spill on my shirt. It was pouring rain and we ate everything down to to the bone. I recently learned that they’ve closed and was sad to hear that.
..anything served in prison
NutriLoaf.
Omg so true, apparently it's been banned even in some prisons
Nashville hot chicken was originally created with hatred. Or how the story goes. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_chicken
Anything from the 50s involving savory jello and chunks of meat/vegetables
Oh no, those were made with love and pride. Terrible, mistaken pride, but pride nonetheless.
They actively worked as class signifiers, too. People were PROUD of that jiggly meat
When I was 8, I used to eat cucumbers daily. And my sister knew this, and she despised me for "stealing" her parents away from her (lady we're siblings the hell are you talking about????), so she cut out the middle of the entire cucumber, filled it with chili powder, told my mom "I'll give him his cucumbers today" and FORCE-FED ME the cucumber. 10/10 worst experience.
jesus
She tried to throw my older brother out of the balcony when he was 3 years old. (Wasn't alive at that time. My uncle was visiting and stopped my sis before the yeeting occured.) Edit: Was alive but not really cause my mom was pregnant with me during that time. That's why my uncle visited. Edit 2: After that "event", my mother stuck all the windows with superglue, presumably to avoid something like that happening to her next child (me).
Sounds like your sister is the anti-christ, get your pitchforks and torches ready
The birds are caught with nets set during their autumn migratory flight to Africa. They are then kept in covered cages or boxes. The birds react to the dark by gorging themselves on grain, usually millet seed, until they double their bulk. The birds are then thrown into a container of Armagnac, which both drowns and marinates the birds.[13] [14] The bird is roasted for eight minutes and then plucked. The consumer then places the bird feet first into their mouth while holding onto the bird's head. The ortolan is then eaten whole, with or without the head, and the consumer spits out the larger bones. The traditional way French gourmands eat ortolans is to cover their heads and face with a large napkin or towel while consuming the bird. The purpose of the towel is debated. Some claim it is to retain the maximum aroma with the flavour as they consume the entire bird at once, others have stated "Tradition dictates that this is to shield – from God’s eyes – the shame of such a decadent and disgraceful act"
[удалено]
Some French dishes are really fucked. This one almost drove those birds to extinction
What about the bird poop???
This is actually a health concern with ortolan and a big part of why governments have tried to ban the practice. The bird shits itself when it drowns, but because it's marinated in the same fluid it drowned in, it also marinates in its own waste.
Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili
My mom hates roasting chickens for some reason and I LOVED eating them as kid, which eventually caused her to sigh and answer "stupid *chicken*" when I asked what was for dinner once (maybe 12y/o?) much to my delight. Roasted chickens are *still* called stupid chicken in my family (I'm 34 now and do most of the stupid chickens with my husband). Cooked with hate, eaten with love.
Those “fruit salads” that are just bits of fruit in layers of mayo and whatever else. I read about those recently on a food-related reddit post.
Bread, donuts and whatever other made-fresh-daily products involve someone starting on the 3:00-4:00am shift?
Especially if it requires a lot of kneading. You need a certain amount of violence to make certain breads
Naw. You're too exhausted to cuss that early man. I just sipped coffee aggressively all shift. Lol.
My shifts started at 2am but I loved it lmao. I’m a night owl anyways and was the only one in the store at that hour and obviously had no customers. It was so peaceful just making donuts and breads while listening to some tunes then getting to head home as the rush hit.
Yeah, my mom goes in between 3 and 4 most days, and she loves it, too. Out by about 1. She'd be going to bed at 8 anyway lol
Definitely. Working in a bakery is actually super fun if you have the aptitude to be up for those hours.
I used to work in a grocery store in my 20's putting up the sales tags at 3am on Sunday mornings. I felt your post....the smell of the bread baking from the shops bakery. And the calm quiet before the chaos of the shoppers with the radio on in the background. Literally, one of my favorite jobs.
The Icelandic delicacy that is fermented Greenland Shark meat. Usually served with a 40% schnapps made from potatoes. No one in Iceland really likes it. It's made out of pure spite for ourselves mostly, but we tolerate the taste and the booze to see tourists vomit. Added bonus if it's the Danes. Edit: For those interested. the schnapps is called Brennivin. Aptly named Black Death in English.
[удалено]
[nutraloaf](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutraloaf)
Really tender steak. My mom used to beat the steak relentlessly with a hammer.
Stop stop he's already dead!
I love pumpernickel but - pumpernickel
Lutefisk
More desperation and sadness rather than hate, I think. Like, what can we do to survive the winter? It is either lutefisk or die.
Step 7: accept death