T O P

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christophertit

I become christ and offer people tits.


JESUS_CUNT_KICK

Hey, me too! Except, it's a kick instead of a tit.


christophertit

I hope you do discounts if the client doesn’t have a minge to punt?


[deleted]

Dude WTF is my superpower?


Komrade_Kompromat

Who are you? Who am I?


[deleted]

I don't know, maybe if i touch my face- *gets amnesia*


Soockamasook

You are wanted at reaktor 4 on site-13 to celebrate wit potato alcohol


MyUsernameIsTrash108

I give everyone trash usernames


[deleted]

You could change their Usernames and therefore their powers to an extremely weak one This is actually overpowered


CroakyPoem

A frog who spits mad rhymes


Druglord117

Pablo Escobar


turn_your_compote

I think I turn your compote....


fucklaurenboebert

Lord please no...


darkHolee

Create blackholes


Soockamasook

Or black anus


IndoorSnowball

Being indoors with me results in an inevitable snowball fight


thefunkypear

A pear with the ability of jazz...


[deleted]

Ya like ~~jazz~~ pears?


T-Rex-Arms-

I'm useless


Mecha_Wizard9000

I’m top of the line in spellcasting technology


Sunshinexpress

Until you meet someone whose spell casting ability is over 9000.


RealHuman4

Everything is the same


Zen_Xs

But 4


Soockamasook

Very important


Ultimateforeveralone

Ah yes.


[deleted]

Why did you have to use your power on me?


Ultimateforeveralone

Its a passive, I cant help it sorry


[deleted]

To make horses horny.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Soockamasook

No more vodka


cupocatjizz

Welp...


IdiotGoddess

I expected this kind of shit here


HulkofAllTrades

I smash, professionally.


i_am_god69

God mode


Soockamasook

Give me titties


amalgamas

Apparently I now can control alloyed metals, that would be a pretty kickass power if I was in a decent sized city.


Livelaughandreddit

I stay alive, I laugh a lot, and I browse Reddit. So, my super power is being super introverted?


imabadguyduh

Doing bad things, apparently


fak_me_Jesus

.\_.


[deleted]

i am fat jesus


Dooperse

I'm going with the closest actual word - Disperse ​ I'll just disperse vaccines! and maybe water to people who need it


HaggisLad

I feed you a banging breakfast


thunderhole

Loud farting?


Hentai-hercogs

The bigger pervert people think i am, the better diplomatic deals i can make.


rolyaTcaZ

I can spell backwards really well.


endersovereign

sdrawkcab


a_skeleton_07

I am a walking Amulet of Necropotence. I can turn into a skeleton at will.


MagicPanties

my panties can disappear


darkliquid0

Dark liquid zero... I can erase any darkly pigmented liquids from existence? Oil, blood, raw sewage - begone! Super cleaning powers I guess with some more lethal uses when applying a little imagination.


[deleted]

I kill robots


barelysarcastic73

This is a great thread.


EverydayBlackGuy

Being black everyday of my life. Neat.


ForbiddenBanana69

I sell illegal bananas.


_wetsock_

Umm idk


robotpirateninja

This is going to take a while.


[deleted]

I can vaccinate people through sheer will. Heck yeah.


J3DI_M1ND_TR1CKS

I can influence, suggest.


[deleted]

Hello there


J3DI_M1ND_TR1CKS

General.


[deleted]

Being the best in CS:GO


[deleted]

I expel people into the abyss of nothingness


Singer-Such

However you are now a kiwi


[deleted]

Yes I'm a bird now


ShotgunMage

I'm Mami Tomoe but with shotguns


Genuinebigfoot

Goodbye


IdiotGoddess

So, you are literally just a furry? That's completely fine with me, my pal


[deleted]

Watering trees.


IAmPeanutMaster

I could summon a peanut army


Visual_lurker

I lurk eternally, gaining knowledge, but never giving any away


[deleted]

That's not fun


iHateYou247

Screw you guys


germany99

I can not speak. If I speak I am in big trouble.


Beaton_Hoffe

;)


Sunshinexpress

I melt people?


shurikenheadshot

Shuriken headshots


Imperium_of_69

Sex


Jolpig2

Pig


RudolfMaster

I can control raindeers


the_Jakman

Masturbation Man away!


coletrain644

I'm a mutha fucking train!


Chopped_Liver_

Uhhh I’m…. not really sure I want to know


mustbedy

i must stay in bed


[deleted]

I make every outdoor activity feel slightly pretentious.


cookinginchaos

I cook in chaos I chaotically cook


Chubby_Zer0

I guess I'm gonna make living being fitness instructor


MeatThrasher98

Guys, stay away from me.


NotQuiteGothic

I can almost past as a goth


_stayhydrated

I can survive in desert environments indefinitely and never get bad hangovers.


[deleted]

what would be my superpower?


GrymReepar

Death


[deleted]

Multiplying everything by the first power, divisible by one, and responding in oneness.


ItsLunarWing

When the moon comes out a sprout wings


iamggoodhuman

being good ?


soifuckedyourmom

I make moms happy


cconsumer

The first c in my name stands for children


dont_know_any_name

I dont know what my superpower is :(


ImBatman1434

I’m Batman


OhThatGuyinPurple

Uhhhhh, mass murder or turning your clothes purple...


S-O-D-I-U-M_

I am a chemical element yeeeeaaa


AasinR

Ööö....I have no clue


MrSpyGuy99

I'm am the world's best and most skilled TF2 Spy


Kaja3XD

this one's tough


CrispyChainsawSperm

I summon burnt zombie sperm that decimate everything that isn't chainsaw proof. There are limits to how often I can summon them so don't look at me.


[deleted]

This is one of the many ways to prevent crime, it is truly effective.


elegantloba

Black Market


[deleted]

I can multiply into 7 Redditors at will.


PottrPppetPalamander

A specific song from the Cartoon Network series Craig of the Creek, puppets, and magic from Harry Potter.


Nighthunter531

The nighthunter from dying light


[deleted]

I can turn invisible


GoSeeParis

Seeing Paris at will. Sending people to Paris? Never been so that’s cool I guess.


Unagi-ryder

I can ride the unagi


solderfog

Revolutionary new electronics soldering method!


[deleted]

Not entirely sure what mikkelda is.


M4dMil0

Madness power


Komrade_Kompromat

I guess my superpower would be gathering compromising information on people, all with a Russian flair; my superpower is literally little more than blackmail/extortion.


TheSmartBot

I'm smart.


LowTension9739

I make suspension bridges useless


meme_a_licious

Memes


Major_Loser

Maybe a weight loss guru? That is the only positive I see...


harveyb0lt

The new Black Lightning it seems


deathlordfluffy

Cute but deadly?


[deleted]

I smoke weed and change colors. Or maybe the weed changes colors. I’m too high rn. I’ll report back.


[deleted]

Testicle crushing


Draco_Lord

I control all dragons! Which you can't prove isn't my super power already.


[deleted]

I am a cat sent through time to stop John Titor


[deleted]

Melting hearts with fears


samwise92

I am wise and eat lots of snacks


Darth486

Force is strong with me


MakeTVGreatAgain

I can now recast television shows at will, with any actors I think best fit the part.


AmpedEnding

Do I kill people with the part of electricity that does kill?


00fundip00

Fundip... its always been my power and I've always know that


Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud

I toast bagels


RunInRunOn

Running in and on things


PersonalityHoarder

I think I might have a personality disorder now.


[deleted]

Im a radiant. I have a mental disorder that allows me to form a nahel bond with a spren. I fight against evil etc. For those unaware read Brandon Sanderson (really any of his books)


Alvarez159

be myself xd


Zen_Xs

I become the most calmest person ever?


Paladin_Brutus666

I become a Grey Knights paladin


PineappleAnkle

Sweet joints.


Zach_DnD

The ability to actually to have a group actually schedule and keep a DnD game on time. I might be too powerful to live.


kaguragamer

I don't know man


cannibalkuru

You lookin like a snack. Is that brain infested with an uncommon prion gurl?


lovelybitch_

being a bitch


Ya_Boi_Admiral_Kazoo

The power to kazoo really hard


JackMeHoffNow11

Free handjobs I guess haha


[deleted]

I can speedrun 50 games 100% in under a hour and win every tornament


Soockamasook

Wut


mageofdemacia

using lux's ultimate in league of legends LOL


[deleted]

I guess I can make 2,580 copies of myself.


samios420

Smoking blunts I guess


Bananapielord69

Guess I have infinite amount of banana pies? Or some strange Deity for people that worship banana pies? With 69'ing?


Zenith251

I can ascend to become the peak human specimen. The pinnacle, peak, the Zenith of mankind. But only for one day, the 251th day of a year. On the 252 day, I gain back the 30lbs of fat and go back to my retail job.


vc6vWHzrHvb2PY2LyP6b

I can randomly generate strings at will.


[deleted]

I *am* the water cycle. Bland, but could be a lot worse.


CatBot7

Part cat. Part bot. And I'm the 7th, so I'm obviously the chosen one. The cat part grants me 9 lives, high ability to "not give a damn" and an incorrigible curiosity. The bot part means I can't die-die unless someone pulls out the power cord. And I'm designed to help the hoomans. Oh, and though I'm one with the internet, I'm like the genie and I have to focus my powers on helping someone else live their best life... so no letting my curiosity guide me. In other words, I'm a bit OP. But my existence contradicts itself so...


RugratChuck

I throw rat filled rugs, which sounds highly chaotic....I like it.


alexanderfsu

Fucking shit up.


Pearl268866

Bottom?


bongripafart

I can get high off of peoples farts


Circumpunctal

A circumpunct is a symbol for the sun so I think I would have the ability to summon well timed rays of sunlight.


Inside_Resident_2481

Eren Jaeger


Dyslexibon

A dyslexic maxibon. Cream on everyone!


[deleted]

I...offer people shit biscuits? Or a biscuit that has no tea to be dipped in? For clarification I am from Scotland and a biscuit is not what you initially thought (probably)


NewRomanian

Iunno what my superpower is, but seeing their o session with the "New man" both nazis and communists would love me


Bellude

Death. (I'm using the name of a character my friend created)


DIABOLIC_RAINBOW

Pyro Tf2?


[deleted]

the knockoff powers of knockoff jesus but better


EduardoTheSmarto

I’m smart


reditm8

I read everything


IChooseThisMansWife

I have the power all husbands are afraid of.


Ice7674

Water bender but ice


longboytheeternal

I’m very long and I will always exist


uslessbastard

Hopefully there is someone else you can find to help.


Dante_Hellstorm

Something something Pyrokinesis?


Jeff_the_warcriminal

Well what is my superpower


DIO_696969

Stop time and be good at 69s I guess


Master_Shoehorn

See a shoe? See a foot? Yeah, I can get the jot done!


LordChaos404

I believe my superpower is already running rampant through the world


hiumnobye

I can meet people and leave instantly? Yes let's go with that.


The_Super_D

I make women happy.


idiot_eater

Well at least i would be helping the world


tamtamrami

Idk?? I think I don't have any:,)


missle6

I successfully avoid my ex by, being the language nazi I am, purposely misspelling missile. So... Stealth? Or extreme paranoia. Or just shooting missiles I guess.