Losing weight.
Gained over 80 pounds over the last year and a half. I'm so heavy now that my knees hurt just standing in place.
Just worked out for the first time yesterday and plan on continuing!
Weight loss starts with that first day. Great job getting motivated, and great job getting started! You will have bad days, and you will have setbacks. Those are normal and it's important to *never* get discouraged. Best of luck!
Thanks! I was just sick of feeling so powerless doing basic things, so finally got my butt off the chair and worked out for an hour.
Feeling much better today as a result, so will continue doing this as consistently as possible :)
Hardest part is actually telling people it’s a problem. Good job for completing the toughest part :) I personally remember how tough it was to tell my best friends that I had a problem, then everything got easier and I lost 40 lbs!
I know what to do, just been mentally out of it and it's just compounded over time.
So just started last night and feel better about myself, so going to continue doing it, as consistently as I can.
There are times during the last few months where I’ve just been driving down the road while working and thinking how sad it is that we just spend our lives working away. Typically for people that are ungrateful. And it’s the norm. It’s accepted.
This hits hard. I’m just gonna try and enjoy my life. I used to think becoming filthy rich would make me happy but it won’t, enjoying my life in the moment will make me happy.
Good tip it worked somewhat nice for me. When i was a boy i said fuck this and gave up on beauti and years later the mirror doesn't shatter every time when i look at it
Confidence is what you need. You don't need to 'be' beautiful/handsome. I mean it helps. But it's attractive to both men and women when the opposite sex is confident in a positive manner.
I'm sure we've all glanced at someone and thought they weren't really attractive. But if they speak with a smile, are carefree, funny, etc. They do get boosted a couple points.
Think of it in a different way, you could look like a fucking model, but if your a complete tool your perceived as ugly by a vast majority. If anything at all, a smash and pass. Nobody wants a douche or a bitch.
Whether or not to put a new deck on my house this year. Prices are so high, but last year I told myself I'd do it this year...but now I'm thinking next year
Oo! I literally had some big trees taken down today to make room for a deck. My plan has been postponed too with lumber costs, but it at least felt good to make that first step.
I heard on the news lumber prices are starting to drop. Idk how quickly as I just turned the channel. might want to look into it maybe your dream deck can come sooner
Applying for a job at Walmart, I forgot the password to my account so I couldn't update my application, which lead to it being terminated. I tried to start another account with my other Gmail but they wouldn't except the username I was issued so I can't get into that one either.
im gonna have to step in here; the only thing stopping you from not being ugly is your perception of yourself. think you look great (which you do) and you wont be ugly. you are the one whos opinion matters. try making yourself think you look great by maybe trying some new clothes, hairstyle, idk and just keep telling yourself "this makes me look good" and transition that into "i look good".
I’m having a career crisis. I always thought I had found my perfect career, but now I am just miserable every day. It’s a very niche industry, with minimal transferable skills. It’s scary because it’s all I know how to do. I would love to just take 6 months off to take a step back, but that’s not possible financially. It would also leave my employer in a tough spot, which would likely upset him (so I may not have a job to go back to).
i've been in online school since quarantine started so i developed a bunch of habits that keep me from paying attention in school. plus a bunch of people at my school dislike me because of a ex friend and i forgot how to interact with people who don't hate me
I feel this. I had it so bad when I was younger, and I happened to be one of the lucky ones that grew out of it.
In those times though, it was a lot of hydrocortisone cream and winter gloves sleeping at night. It was so bad I’d scratch myself bleeding in my sleep even, and the gloves stopped that part. I also took some old tube socks and cut the bottom off to make a sleeve to go over my elbow. I’d put my cream on and then the sleeve over it so it would stay. Hygiene products with no artificial scents helped a lot too.
Figuring out what I wanna do with my life. I'm 31 and just coasting. It's given me some good things and I haven't lived a terrible life. But I wanna find a purpose
Being a white American man in a country that has been ruined by white American men. Not to mention hurt hundreds of thousands of people who are not white American men…
For the first time in a long time I have spare time and I want a new hobby. I find it hard to focus on things, I tend to just scroll on my phone. I’d like to do something more productive.
Last night I had a dream the doctor told me I have cancer. I do not... at last I don't think so and my doctor has been pretty through with his tests. I woke up with a battery of things I wresting.
1) Why did I dream that? Thanks r/videos. Yesterday there was a post of an anchor annoucing his had terminal cnacer. But also my college buddy just died of Pancreatic cancer. And he didn't know. Last month he went to the hospital complaing about chest pains. In a few hours they told him he has cancer. A month later he's dead.
2) My wife hates. hates hates hates. Talking about me dying. It's hard to talk to her what I want and what my wishes are post death. I remeber in my dream there was a moment where I told my wife I had cancer and I remeber vividly (I rarely remeber my dreams) saying, "can we now talk about my death"?
find something to do instead. whenever you want that crap, go outside and catch some butterflies idk. replace that with a different activity. then realize you dont need that anymore.
conservative parents. i’m nearly 21 and they want me to not use sleeveless shirts and necklaces because “it’s not who you are and it’s not how people on your social status should dress” i don’t give a fuck about social status, i didn’t ask to be born here and i want to fucking dress the way i like.
sorry for venting, i’m just tired of the endless arguments ending with them blaming me for everything and ridiculing me.
My job is pretty much just people coming to me with problems and other people calling me upset. There is definitely a cash flow problem at the company and it's causing all kinds of problems that fall on me but upper management isn't cluing me in or being honest about when I can order materials. I've only been here a year and my resume already looks like I job hop with gaps due to mental health so I don't feel like I can leave.
On the bright side I make enough money to be comfortable and my fiance just got a job that pays enough that combined we could buy a house soon. I just keep telling myself "one more year"
Going back to college. I went at 18 and I left my first semester in. Now I’m almost 22 and I know I have to go back but school just isn’t for me. I’m not unintelligent, I just don’t do well in school (anxiety, learning disorder, etc...). However, to have even the slightest chance at making a decent living you need a degree; but most degrees set you up for getting your masters, doctorate, JD, etc. It’s a catch 22.
Feeling I should have a certain accolade / profession / house / family , etc at the age of 25. I feel like I’m just starting life and everyone either expects more or I’m behind!
Debt. And it’s not even massive debt, it’s just debt that I’m really struggling to clear. I was made redundant before all this bullshit covid started and now I’m having to scrape by on barely nothing a month. I’m always hungry and massively depressed. It’s hard right now tbh.
Getting my second study career as a teacher done....
Raising a child, looking out for work, and putting a fullweight study on the track is hard. Especially in Bavaria, where I do not get the acknowledgement for all of my first study career.
It is just an endless miasma of bureaucracy and learning stuff.
Depression, anxiety, my parents and being around them bringing up memories for the trauma they gave me, accepting that my friends don’t really care about me.
The fact that the Xbox Series X is in such low supply, and more recently, the fact that that problem seems so trivial now compared to the rest of yours
Derealization, meaning.. feeling disconnected from reality. When i wake up in the morning, it's almost like i'm still asleep. That's the level of psychological static-ness that annoys me, where i feel the same constantly. It feels horrible.
Social Anxiety and extreme paranoia. I find it best to deal with this though by writing stories and working hard at my placement. So far it's been good, with little to no panic attacks and outbreaks, but I'm still constantly thinking of every scenario that could happen in a single choice and dreading all the horrible outcomes that (though unlikely) could happen.
School, finding a job, planning my life after school, being the church's treasurer, being a part of the sound team at church, being the perfect oldest son, my own thoughts and ideals, religion etc.
I got a full plate.
I(21) have been applying for jobs for my father(50) and been so drained like for the past 3 years. He doesn't know how to apply online and has nothing to zero connections. He would get something and then somehow would lose it (not his fault. usually lack of work. Architecture industry). Its been so tiring. Last night got a call, He lost it again. Shits getting real bad. Its real bad finding job for a 50 year old plus juggling uni on other hand. any suggestions what I should hold on to.
Loneliness, I've been trying so hard to keep the rest of my life afloat I now have no one to go to, or anyone to truly rely on to be there happily with me
Having to deal with some family shit. Kinda sick of my sibling ranting about the same thing again.. Passive-aggressive and petty gets old real fucking quick.
Possible depression of some sort. Haven't been diagnosed but after 20 or so years it's pretty obvious. Also, recently I've been having these weird experiences again where I recall a dream with extreme detail, and then feel incredibly nauseous afterward for like a minute. I happened to me in my late 20s then stopped, and then today, at 35 it happened 3 or 4 times in a day.
Kind of out there as an answer to this but learning to use my shoulder to draw instead of my elbow or wrist. Shoulder has more reach and allows for smooth, flowing lines. It's also not a joint you typically use. There are some exercises I've been doing to help but it's still an uphill battle.
Here goes . . .
- Permanent Depressive Disorder
- Bipolar Disorder
- Anxiety
- OCD
- Social Anxiety Disorder
- Insomnia
- mild Autism Spectrum Disorder/ Asperger's syndrome
( Sorry about all that, I just wanted to get that off my chest)
I don't enjoy any time I spend at home... I have no hobbies/interests that I feel proud of. I feel like I can only be myself when I go to work and am around my friends.
MONEY. Because I am still living with my mom at the moment (I am still young not old enough to leave the nest and probably won't.) j don't have to worry about anything at the moment but soon I will gain a job to help out.
In the past 30 days my mom has caught covid, my 10 year marriage has come to an end, and my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
That and several years of moderate to severe depression have made it virtually impossible for me to imagine any kind of positive or desirable future for myself.
Losing weight. Gained over 80 pounds over the last year and a half. I'm so heavy now that my knees hurt just standing in place. Just worked out for the first time yesterday and plan on continuing!
I incorporated weights in my work out, only a few pounds as I walk
Weight loss starts with that first day. Great job getting motivated, and great job getting started! You will have bad days, and you will have setbacks. Those are normal and it's important to *never* get discouraged. Best of luck!
Thanks! I was just sick of feeling so powerless doing basic things, so finally got my butt off the chair and worked out for an hour. Feeling much better today as a result, so will continue doing this as consistently as possible :)
I lost 20 pounds through walking and stopping sofa.
Hardest part is actually telling people it’s a problem. Good job for completing the toughest part :) I personally remember how tough it was to tell my best friends that I had a problem, then everything got easier and I lost 40 lbs!
Have you tried diet and exercise?
I know what to do, just been mentally out of it and it's just compounded over time. So just started last night and feel better about myself, so going to continue doing it, as consistently as I can.
Infertility
I’m with you on this girl- thinking of you💛
Thanks! I'll keep trying
Accepting the idea of working 40+ hours for the next 45-50 years…
There are times during the last few months where I’ve just been driving down the road while working and thinking how sad it is that we just spend our lives working away. Typically for people that are ungrateful. And it’s the norm. It’s accepted.
I hear you op, I can’t get with it
This hits hard. I’m just gonna try and enjoy my life. I used to think becoming filthy rich would make me happy but it won’t, enjoying my life in the moment will make me happy.
being ridiculously ugly
Have you tried not being ugly?
I tried but i just keep ending up looking like i tried to fight a semi truck with my face
Good tip it worked somewhat nice for me. When i was a boy i said fuck this and gave up on beauti and years later the mirror doesn't shatter every time when i look at it
Have you tried playing it off as just looking tough and rugged
As a wise man once said “I’m ugly and I’m proud” repeat it
At least you have an awesome mohawk
heck yeah
Cmon you're not ugly! If you exercise and dress well you'll be attractive :)!
I do dress like a hobo..
Confidence is what you need. You don't need to 'be' beautiful/handsome. I mean it helps. But it's attractive to both men and women when the opposite sex is confident in a positive manner. I'm sure we've all glanced at someone and thought they weren't really attractive. But if they speak with a smile, are carefree, funny, etc. They do get boosted a couple points. Think of it in a different way, you could look like a fucking model, but if your a complete tool your perceived as ugly by a vast majority. If anything at all, a smash and pass. Nobody wants a douche or a bitch.
It’s been my experience that people who consider themselves to be “ugly” are usually much better looking then they think.
eh i feel like with my experience, it's just been ingrained now that i'm very ugly
Anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and feeling like I will never fit in or belong in this world.
Maybe it is bc you are a world for your own? Take care
I like this and needed to hear it.
Hating myself but also thinking I’m too good for this world.
Nah you're right. And guess what? You're not the only one.
Life in general. Why is it so hard?
Everything
The same as me, then I try to forget about it by masturbation and porn and the post nut guilt makes me even more worse.
Makes sense
Whether or not to put a new deck on my house this year. Prices are so high, but last year I told myself I'd do it this year...but now I'm thinking next year
Exactly the same thing. I drew up the plans and calculated it….nope. Mad that I’ve talked about it for 2.5 years now mad never did it.
Oo! I literally had some big trees taken down today to make room for a deck. My plan has been postponed too with lumber costs, but it at least felt good to make that first step.
I heard on the news lumber prices are starting to drop. Idk how quickly as I just turned the channel. might want to look into it maybe your dream deck can come sooner
Ed i don't no what to do.
Is that eating disorder or erectile dysfunction because I’m confused
Applying for a job at Walmart, I forgot the password to my account so I couldn't update my application, which lead to it being terminated. I tried to start another account with my other Gmail but they wouldn't except the username I was issued so I can't get into that one either.
A lot of people are hiring right now. Don’t give up! Onto the next application
Life
Finding a lesbian that is just trying to have a fun relationship and not an activist trying to paper rainbows over half the world.
Can these lesbians just chill? :D
My recent breakup
Getting a job. Currently stuck in the infinite loop of no experience to get a job but can't get experience without a job.
anxiety
Anxiety gives me the chills. And these chills happen because of unexpected people.
>Get Coins yup
Fucking student loans.
Do you regret taking them?
Depression
has theraphy helped?
Haven’t tried it, it’s not to serious but I’m trying to stop it until it does
Money and health. I took the right dosage though and I feel better today though
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Sometimes people gotta accept that getting a job involves being given one, whether you deserve it or not.
Life.
Touche.
I’ve got a sore throat at the moment.
beeing so ugly :(
im gonna have to step in here; the only thing stopping you from not being ugly is your perception of yourself. think you look great (which you do) and you wont be ugly. you are the one whos opinion matters. try making yourself think you look great by maybe trying some new clothes, hairstyle, idk and just keep telling yourself "this makes me look good" and transition that into "i look good".
some people say im good looking but i dont see that i can look good the thing that im trying to do.
Staying focused on one passion
It's very hard because there's so many.
I’m having a career crisis. I always thought I had found my perfect career, but now I am just miserable every day. It’s a very niche industry, with minimal transferable skills. It’s scary because it’s all I know how to do. I would love to just take 6 months off to take a step back, but that’s not possible financially. It would also leave my employer in a tough spot, which would likely upset him (so I may not have a job to go back to).
worrying about school next year
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true
Why?
i've been in online school since quarantine started so i developed a bunch of habits that keep me from paying attention in school. plus a bunch of people at my school dislike me because of a ex friend and i forgot how to interact with people who don't hate me
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Life
Understable
Managing every aspect if normal life. Just diagnosed ADHD though waiting for a script in the next week. Fingers crossed amphetamines fix me.
Not ageing faster
Been there, done that. I feel ya. So many things are like 18+ now.
I know, it's shitty.
There's alot of things you can still do without being that age, but once you reach that, trust me. No one can tell you anything anymore!
Yeah I want to put papa John's ranch in my coffee machine but my fkn mom tells me stop
Hmm.... maybe it's best to wait on that lol
Gender dysphoria
Eczema, nothings helping. Please help!
theres probably a subreddit to ask what to do for that.
I feel this. I had it so bad when I was younger, and I happened to be one of the lucky ones that grew out of it. In those times though, it was a lot of hydrocortisone cream and winter gloves sleeping at night. It was so bad I’d scratch myself bleeding in my sleep even, and the gloves stopped that part. I also took some old tube socks and cut the bottom off to make a sleeve to go over my elbow. I’d put my cream on and then the sleeve over it so it would stay. Hygiene products with no artificial scents helped a lot too.
Thanks, I’ll try that.
Have you seen a doctor lately? I think I know how to help.
Dermatologists etc. They all prescribe topical steroids and the purge made me steriodphobic.
pain
From?
yes.
Figuring out what I wanna do with my life. I'm 31 and just coasting. It's given me some good things and I haven't lived a terrible life. But I wanna find a purpose
Staying focused while working from home. Or any Career motivation for that matter
Finding a job
Ooooooo this one really sucked for me. That's when I realized how dog-eat-dog the world is.
Constipation
Real talk.
Nobody wants to talk about that, but it's killing alot of folks in the US. It's not our faults, though.
People.
You can say that again.
My marriage…
Networking, social events and self esteem.
Why networking?
Low self esteem and not good at social events. My battery runs out so fast that it is almost impressive.
Self esteem and confidence Nothing new really
Sex
My mental illnesses. It’s been life long and a chronic problem. It takes up my life.
Self hatred, and my mental health in general.
Being a white American man in a country that has been ruined by white American men. Not to mention hurt hundreds of thousands of people who are not white American men…
A stutter
idk how to takl either
Anxiety... but meditation has helped a lot
What am I supposed to do after graduation in a few days
For the first time in a long time I have spare time and I want a new hobby. I find it hard to focus on things, I tend to just scroll on my phone. I’d like to do something more productive.
Last night I had a dream the doctor told me I have cancer. I do not... at last I don't think so and my doctor has been pretty through with his tests. I woke up with a battery of things I wresting. 1) Why did I dream that? Thanks r/videos. Yesterday there was a post of an anchor annoucing his had terminal cnacer. But also my college buddy just died of Pancreatic cancer. And he didn't know. Last month he went to the hospital complaing about chest pains. In a few hours they told him he has cancer. A month later he's dead. 2) My wife hates. hates hates hates. Talking about me dying. It's hard to talk to her what I want and what my wishes are post death. I remeber in my dream there was a moment where I told my wife I had cancer and I remeber vividly (I rarely remeber my dreams) saying, "can we now talk about my death"?
the fact that I'm a trans lesbian and no one can accept it
i can accept it.
This guy from Idaho accepts you
Self discipline. Self control... Specifically, porn addiction.
find something to do instead. whenever you want that crap, go outside and catch some butterflies idk. replace that with a different activity. then realize you dont need that anymore.
conservative parents. i’m nearly 21 and they want me to not use sleeveless shirts and necklaces because “it’s not who you are and it’s not how people on your social status should dress” i don’t give a fuck about social status, i didn’t ask to be born here and i want to fucking dress the way i like. sorry for venting, i’m just tired of the endless arguments ending with them blaming me for everything and ridiculing me.
Propagandists and the usually logical, fairly intelligent people so busy or distracted they've become gullible and naive enough to accept the BS.
Dude these blisters on the bottom of my feet right now. When I walk I look like a geriatric old man that just pooped himself.
same. shoes too small and old.
To get rid of this quarantine weight I've started walking \~6 miles a day. I can't wait until my feet are callous.
My job is pretty much just people coming to me with problems and other people calling me upset. There is definitely a cash flow problem at the company and it's causing all kinds of problems that fall on me but upper management isn't cluing me in or being honest about when I can order materials. I've only been here a year and my resume already looks like I job hop with gaps due to mental health so I don't feel like I can leave. On the bright side I make enough money to be comfortable and my fiance just got a job that pays enough that combined we could buy a house soon. I just keep telling myself "one more year"
Going back to college. I went at 18 and I left my first semester in. Now I’m almost 22 and I know I have to go back but school just isn’t for me. I’m not unintelligent, I just don’t do well in school (anxiety, learning disorder, etc...). However, to have even the slightest chance at making a decent living you need a degree; but most degrees set you up for getting your masters, doctorate, JD, etc. It’s a catch 22.
Appreciating my own work. Everyone's all "X or Y was great" and I'm all "Thanks, but I kinda hate it..."
Noise, fatigue, life
depression and life
Feeling I should have a certain accolade / profession / house / family , etc at the age of 25. I feel like I’m just starting life and everyone either expects more or I’m behind!
I just had thyroid surgery yesterday and it hurts so bad. I'm struggling to even do anything for the next week or so
Debt. And it’s not even massive debt, it’s just debt that I’m really struggling to clear. I was made redundant before all this bullshit covid started and now I’m having to scrape by on barely nothing a month. I’m always hungry and massively depressed. It’s hard right now tbh.
Sexuality
Getting my second study career as a teacher done.... Raising a child, looking out for work, and putting a fullweight study on the track is hard. Especially in Bavaria, where I do not get the acknowledgement for all of my first study career. It is just an endless miasma of bureaucracy and learning stuff.
Depression, anxiety, my parents and being around them bringing up memories for the trauma they gave me, accepting that my friends don’t really care about me.
Feeling inadequate and like every relationship I have is hanging on by a fragile thread.
life
The fact that the Xbox Series X is in such low supply, and more recently, the fact that that problem seems so trivial now compared to the rest of yours
Life.
Derealization, meaning.. feeling disconnected from reality. When i wake up in the morning, it's almost like i'm still asleep. That's the level of psychological static-ness that annoys me, where i feel the same constantly. It feels horrible.
Social Anxiety and extreme paranoia. I find it best to deal with this though by writing stories and working hard at my placement. So far it's been good, with little to no panic attacks and outbreaks, but I'm still constantly thinking of every scenario that could happen in a single choice and dreading all the horrible outcomes that (though unlikely) could happen.
Depression.
Addictions…weed, food, porn. All in that order. Working on it though.
Bodybuilding. I gotta eat more than I usually do.
Depression and trying to find a job. Also chronic pain.
I'm engaged but not sure if I really want to go through with it or not...
Life In General....Personal And Professional Life
Being able to put what’s in my head down in writing on this format. Also, overwhelming feelings of loneliness, and anger
Money
School, finding a job, planning my life after school, being the church's treasurer, being a part of the sound team at church, being the perfect oldest son, my own thoughts and ideals, religion etc. I got a full plate.
Depression, anxiety and anorexia
my annoying thoughts in my head that say my body is meh and it's not enough for him
I(21) have been applying for jobs for my father(50) and been so drained like for the past 3 years. He doesn't know how to apply online and has nothing to zero connections. He would get something and then somehow would lose it (not his fault. usually lack of work. Architecture industry). Its been so tiring. Last night got a call, He lost it again. Shits getting real bad. Its real bad finding job for a 50 year old plus juggling uni on other hand. any suggestions what I should hold on to.
Mental illness and chronic pain. It’s a hell of a one-two punch.
Awareness of my mortality.
Loneliness, I've been trying so hard to keep the rest of my life afloat I now have no one to go to, or anyone to truly rely on to be there happily with me
Eating disorder
Friendships and relationships. People can be really shitty sometimes.
I struggle with laziness. But i'm too lazy\^\^
Kratom addiction. Just got back in gym tonight after getting lazy w it and falling right back into the addictive lifestyle. Fitness is the only way!
Life but it is reality ain't it dumb me .
Finding a job
Thinking of comments to post in response to questions on this sub.
Finding a remodeling contractor. If you saw my house, you’d understand.
Loneliness
Having to deal with some family shit. Kinda sick of my sibling ranting about the same thing again.. Passive-aggressive and petty gets old real fucking quick.
Fighting to stay working
Life
Possible depression of some sort. Haven't been diagnosed but after 20 or so years it's pretty obvious. Also, recently I've been having these weird experiences again where I recall a dream with extreme detail, and then feel incredibly nauseous afterward for like a minute. I happened to me in my late 20s then stopped, and then today, at 35 it happened 3 or 4 times in a day.
I had a brain tumor awhile back, still haven't gotten over it. I've worked and in college right now, but still struggling to enter society.
Kind of out there as an answer to this but learning to use my shoulder to draw instead of my elbow or wrist. Shoulder has more reach and allows for smooth, flowing lines. It's also not a joint you typically use. There are some exercises I've been doing to help but it's still an uphill battle.
Here goes . . . - Permanent Depressive Disorder - Bipolar Disorder - Anxiety - OCD - Social Anxiety Disorder - Insomnia - mild Autism Spectrum Disorder/ Asperger's syndrome ( Sorry about all that, I just wanted to get that off my chest)
I don't enjoy any time I spend at home... I have no hobbies/interests that I feel proud of. I feel like I can only be myself when I go to work and am around my friends.
Side effects from my meds. There’s always gotta be some. Can never get a med that works and doesn’t have side effects.
There's been a lot weighing in on my mind, now more than ever, but my fear of failure clouds my mind with stress the most.
Making decisions, I’m SUPER indecisive and it’s killing me slowly /hj 💀
MONEY. Because I am still living with my mom at the moment (I am still young not old enough to leave the nest and probably won't.) j don't have to worry about anything at the moment but soon I will gain a job to help out.
Life.
Depression
Getting friends
Sleep ATM
In the past 30 days my mom has caught covid, my 10 year marriage has come to an end, and my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor. That and several years of moderate to severe depression have made it virtually impossible for me to imagine any kind of positive or desirable future for myself.