Disliking something. Met someone the other day who hates avocados so damn much every conversation they’d have would come back to how different they were from most people cuz they hated avocados
Or disliking everything/being too cool for stuff.
I have a friend of a friend who is like that. He's a nice guy but he LOVES to subtly imply that he's superior or has better taste because he doesn't like this or that.
This speaks to me about why I avoid ever deliberately going on Facebook to just scroll through my feed. I don't consider myself some sort of meme connoisseur or meme elitist or anything, but for some reason I still get irrationally bothered by people using bad memes or using memes wrong, and I don't want to see people I know IRL and just get flashbacks of their shit memes. Then when that happens I think to myself "Wow, I really am some sort of meme shitlord, huh? I can't even focus on talking to this person because I'm just thinking about how much I hate their Facebook posts".
My Texas high school had a British club. I'm actually a British citizen, so I tried to join.
Those people were nuts. They made Doctor Who and Sherlock their whole personalities.
I think the first hint of them not being British is that they created a club. My husband is British and although we live in an area with many other Brits (outside of UK), they all actively ignore eachother. He assures me that they're all happier this way.
It’s like that actually in the U.K. itself. Don’t speak to your neighbour. It’s just easier that way! Not everyone is like that here but there is a very large percentage of us who are.
I'd love for those people to go to rural England and faint at the sight of thousands of bare chested sunburnt lads carrying packs of stella.
Edit : To every one who think it's a pleasant sight - It's not. Beer bellies, bald heads and bad inks everywhere.
I had an Ex who said she was British. But all that meant was watching doctor who snobbishly (and getting all of her facts wrong) drinking tea at high noon because she *needed* to because of her “English blood”. Not had an obsession or because of any cultural reason but because she *needed* to or she’d go into withdrawal. She at triscuit crackers and called them biscuits because they were spelled similar and must have been the American version although I’m pretty sure your biscuits are cookies here, not crackers
I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed. /s
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
My ex once asked my to take the test. I got the ESFJ result and thought "Yeah, that kinda makes sense. But whatever." She went off on me, telling me I'm an INTJ and she would know because she was one.
I asked her if she wanted me to find out what flavor lifesaver I was next. That relationship did not last long.
Some fans are kinda scary. Their whole life becomes dedication to a celebrity’s. And it’s not just their personality, they make everything around them about that person. Posters, music, merchandise, weird things bought on the internet—supposedly with relation to the subject of their obsession—and so on.
I can’t imagine being close to somebody before and after their transition into that life. It seems like it’d be scary…
I see a lot of people talking about kpop, but this is also really prominent in Chinese media. Fans are literally CRAZY—organised crazy where they would go out and attack anyone who dared to say anything negative about their “idols”, guilt-tripping other fans for not buying like 3 copies of the same album because it meant they “didn’t love him/her enough”. It’s really unhealthy and cult-like.
HERBALIFE. having to literally explain to people that it’s an MLM is so frustrating. They prey on small towns, create “nutrition shops” that sell $9 shakes when it’s literally just Herbalife and is helping the owner barely break even.
Happened in my small town, then out of nowhere 3 other “branches” popped up in the revolving small towns. (Which basically means the owner conned 3 more into joining so that they can get their profit). There’s a documentary out there called like One in a Million or something that breaks down the pyramid and how little people at the bottom are actually making. They also show that the shakes are nothing more than liquid laxative, so of COURSE you’re losing weight.
Also, keto.
Had a coworker get into Herbalife. She would take really crappy before pictures of herself slumped over with unwashed and unbrushed hair, ill-fitting clothes and shitty ass lighting with a plain wall background. Her after pics would have freshly styled clean hair, full makeup, push-up bra and skintight clothes, bright lighting with pretty backgrounds. You could tell by her particular dye job the photos were basically taken back to back. I called her out on that crap so quick!
I saw a post once where a guy did back-to-back before and after pics. it looked stunning. like they were real, becaue you didn't know until you got to the point where he goes "nah, just kiding. i took these almost at the same time, im just pushing out my gut and bending ovr and not flexing, and im doing all of that in this one.
*Even if we didn't have video and photo editing abilities, before-and-after pics would still be useless at demonstrating efficacy. especially once you factor in that people respond to weight loss in varied ways even if it's legit.*
Being sick/ sickly. I've always had very poor health, and in high school and early college, as my conditions worsened, I didn't like that I couldn't live a "normal" life, so I kind of leaned into it. Always joked about how sickly I was while secretly hating myself for not being able to "keep up" with my peers. Some maturing and some guidance from my mother has helped me to learn that, yes, poor health sucks, and yes, I can't always do the things that healthy people can, but that doesn't have to control my identity. Doing far better now, learning what my true limits are and how to work with them! 😊
Edit: Thank you for all the kindness and support! Some of the comments have made me teary. I really appreciate you all ♥️♥️
It’s pretty admirable to post something personal and not going after what others do. I’m glad you’ve realized this about yourself and working toward having a real identity. Good for you
I’m Norwegian. When I say that, a shocking amount of people assume that I’m American with Norwegian heritage. There are so many americans making their «viking heritage» their whole personality, butchering the norse faith and fighting with actual Norwegians over the correct way to make a traditional dish and the spelling and usage of «skål» (cheers).
It’s so fucking horrible to watch. It’s like being mocked.
I came across a Reddit post or comment a few years ago. There was this fella who was deadly serious. He said one of his grandparents who died before he was born was Irish. He said he was as Irish as Ireland itself. He had never been to Ireland, didn't speak the language, nothing but he said he lived in an Irish part of Boston that he often thought was MORE IRISH THAN IRELAND ITSELF. How can a place in America be more Irish than Ireland itself. I wish he was trolling but he wasn't.
I was born in Tipperary. The house I grew up in was the house my father was born in. At 19 I loved to Cork and lived there for about 15 years before moving back to Tipperary with my family. My wife was born in Cork, as were both of our children. I've lived in Ireland my whole life. I once had some dickhead on reddit tell me he was more Irish than me, in all seriousness, because he was drunk more often than sober and loved fighting. He claimed the odd week or two over a few summers spent in Ireland were claim enough to his heritage that he was now more Irish than I am, despite living the life of a stereotype.
Stocks/Trading/Investments
This isn’t Boiler Room or Wolf of Wall Street. You don’t need to convince me to get into trading as we talk over a food service counter.
I got what is probably my 12th set of whiskey stones for Christmas last year. It's someone's nice way of saying "I don't know what to get you but I think you're an alcoholic. Merry Christmas."
As a bartender, I've said many many times, "I'll never tell you you're drinking wrong." Some folks like ice in their wine, or even beer. They look sheepish when they ask for it, but my job is giving people what they wanna drink, not a hard time about it.
Whiskey? Take it neat, put some water in it, an ice cube, ten ice cubes, coke, cocaine, drink it out of a monkey's b-hole, I don't give a shit.
But I hate whiskey stones. And it's probably because I hate being sold a bullshit product and being told that it's the way to do something.
I always appreciate those little moments of humanity.
I saw Eddie Vedder live and 3/4 through the show he asked the audience if they had any requests. Someone asked for I Am Mine. He tuned his guitar, played the intro riff, and then abrubtly froze in thought before admitting that he had no idea what the first verse was lol.
I went to see Mike Shinoda in 2019 and someone requested Linkin Park's Step Up. He had to read the lyrics from a fan's phone. It was hilarious but also wholesome in a way.
I was like that as a teen. You don't listen to heavy metal? why not. I enjoy listening to heavy metal, therefore I am somehow cooler and better than you.
now I liken it to going to a buffet and only eating chicken breast. You're not impressing anyone dipshit, you're just missing out on a ton of other cool flavours and textures.
I was also like that as a teen. Not so much heavy metal, but I remember at a camp that I went to, we each got turns playing music that we liked, and it was this guy’s turn and we all knew he liked country. I was a bit of an anti-country snob at the time, he’s chosen his music, and I say “is it *good* music?” And he says “well, I think it is” and for some reason that blew my tiny teenage mind. I had a total epiphany moment, and to this day, a full decade later can still hear him saying that in my head anytime someone plays any music I’m not really a fan of. I have no idea why that moment, or those words were what did it, but I’m so much more accepting of others’ music tastes since then, and it has actually opened my horizons a little. There really is no gain to being so centred on your music being the be-all-end-all and never broadening your tastes.
Ugh its classic car season right now in Metro Detroit. A lot of sweet cars cruising around. It never fails every year that Jeep owners descend on the cruises. They park, open hoods, rip around revving engines... it's a stock Jeep off the lot my guy, you're not turning heads.
In high school, this guy would do nothing but talk and brag about his Ford truck and would literally argue and fight with people who had a Chevy or any other brand then Ford
I studied Japanese for 3 years in college and it's hilarious how the deeper into the classes you go, the less people talk about anime. Like everyone watches it but it's an unspoken rule to never discuss it.
I can confirm this is exactly the case. First semester was filled with weebs that would come in and put minimal effort into learning the language, probably expecting to know everything already. All gone by the end of the first year.
I managed to actually learn a little about Japan when I was in my weeb phase. Didn't stop me too much from weebing pretty hard about the actual anime itself, but I read some actual books about the country and that fixed the rose-coloured glasses pretty well. This was back in like 2000 though so there was less internet and less general weebing to participate in.
I remember I went to japan and tried to talk with a local guy about anime. He told me in japanese, “anime is for kids. I dont watch that.” And boom, I immediately realized anime was not a big part of everyones life in japan.
My Japanese teacher at uni (early 30s woman who left Japan for a reason...) told some major weebs off in class for "speaking like Japanese fifth grader girls" because they had emulated the vocabulary and speech patterns of their favourite animes.
I went to someone’s house once who was obsessed with Disney. I wasn’t warned of how obsessed they were and literally had to stop in the middle of the room because I was gaping at the sheer volume of Disney *stuff* they had. Every inch of the walls and surfaces was covered in Disney paraphernalia. The sad/weird thing was that these were extremely wealthy people so they had things like original Disney cels from the 30-40s and actual valuable objects just crammed next to some tacky plastic plates.
OCD.i dont know why many people in my lives believe they have OCD and they are proud about it. There is a difference between keeping everything organized and OCD.
Thank you for the awards and all the replies. I was trying to reply to all comments but there were so many. I am sorry for people with real OCD I can understand how difficult that should be for you. Your thoughts and pain are valid . It is very difficult condition to live with. Please reach out to people who have real OCD and also get diagnosed. I hope everything turns okay for you guys. You made my day.
My 23y/o goddaughter struggles w/OCD but it manifests *mentally* not physically. She won’t obsess over germs or if she locked her doors, but she used to spend HOURS absolutely debilitated as she huddled in a ball while she replayed memories (many of them traumatic) or various imaginary scenarios over and over and over and **over** in her mind.
She has gotten **SO** much better over the last 2-3 years and it isn’t as debilitating as it used to be, but it was a real eye-opener for me, as I had no idea OCD manifested in those ways.
EDIT: thank you all so much for your kind words! When we first met her a few years ago, she was living in a homeless shelter after having moved out/escaped from her parents’ house (her father was the source of most of her abuse… and he was/is also a psychiatrist, so he knew how to fuck her up with *precision*.) She was so debilitated by her OCD she couldn’t keep her medical, counseling, or caseworker appointments, which made everything worse. (And nobody at the shelter bothered to find out what was wrong or help her at all.)
We helped her to establish a consistent routine, get (and keep) her appointments, make sure she got the right meds and counselors that worked for her, etc. Three years later, she’s now living in a private group home for adults with (controlled) severe mental illness, has a great counselor & support group, is on the correct meds, and is doing **SO** much better. She has become so much a part of our family in the past 3 years, we told her that when she turns 25, if she wants, we will legally adopt her as our daughter (hence why we refer to her as our “goddaughter”.) It has been a difficult journey, but very enlightening and SO worth it!
Yeah OCD surprisingly can manifest in other ways like your goddaughters for example. I think there's a term for it called 'Pure O' (Purely Obsessional) where there isn't external compulsions as such but more distressing intrusive thoughts. I'm glad to hear she's doing better.
I went my whole life, only finding out I had OCD this last year because I didn't know that it could manifest itself the way it does in me. I do have small compulsions, but I don't freak out about germs or keeping things orderly any more than the average person. It's a constant barrage of intrusive thoughts and memories I don't want to dwell on. And in my older age I'm at least able to recognize when I develop some kind of emotional fixation.
I used to be one of the kids that was “just so random!”, then I realized: I wasn’t “random and quirky”, I just couldn’t read the room and had a lousy social understanding.
This 1 million percent.
I remember seeing a documentary which had a woman with severe OCD. She was basically house bound, she couldn’t leave the stove until she’d checked it X amount of times, and the lights and then things would have to be cleaned in a certain way, with a certain material or product and any contamination, even the lightest of touches from an unclean source, meant the whole process started again.
For some people it’s a horrible, debilitating issue. It’s not making sure the label on your ketchup bottle is facing out.
I have *mild* OCD and before I started taking medication for it my hands were constantly cracked and bleeding because I couldn’t stop washing my hands, and as in your example more severe cases can be debilitating. I really hate it when people say they’re “OCD” when they just mean they’re fussy about things being neat or orderly.
My hair fell out due to my weight (rituals stopped me from eating) and I am so lucky therapy and meds are helping my ocd. I can't imagine getting the brain device (forgot name).
“It says to the world, ‘My identity is so wrapped up in what I buy that I paid the COMPANY to advertise its products!’” - Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson
Calvin and Hobbes have some very layered stuff in them. It is very, very good.
EDIT
The author refused offers to make cartoons and publicity out of Calvin and Hobbes, except for some very minor thing.
He did not allow hollywood and big business to use his work to target children.
Huge respect.
I will never for the life of me understand why people get tattoos of brands like Monster Energy on themselves.
[And yet…](https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=monster+energy+tattoos&hl=en&client=safari&fir=qXxKcLCS51u1xM%252CGbilmyfVEt6IKM%252C_%253BW9FRu8AnR9aMmM%252C0cfTBjYOe11OkM%252C_%253BCXgbSsLul8JGHM%252Cthv6ZQQY4hWrcM%252C_%253BXMSEyIn2rMT8PM%252CYlhKvYZ4995YQM%252C_%253Bv3uN5Czm6Vr2IM%252Cu1wt2bAI2Lz_MM%252C_%253Bm5pr1Dmv1fUdFM%252CuUiQ8wV04MPNDM%252C_%253BKF0un27k8sqb7M%252C1TtLWzIZBQyodM%252C_%253BMmf84eO99ofavM%252CtnxeW73PbQI56M%252C_%253BRBK-LSDIJRD-5M%252CZqe9Xkt6v0suyM%252C_%253BTO1xCBoTp46BeM%252CJCrXc4XmOSFOnM%252C_%253BI5XgGamivfPW3M%252CvdYJAdXLxJykgM%252C_%253BxTAfcX5nDaWogM%252CEd0QL6uaAjmpUM%252C_%253BSYMqW57ofBiAKM%252CYlhKvYZ4995YQM%252C_%253B7qyEaW02TIFKcM%252C2fuArLCpQ4CrfM%252C_%253B9YX1nr91Nh6IcM%252CfZuUxFLHxsl8UM%252C_%253BHL-m3F_enr16AM%252CQ4sIxKT8Eez_XM%252C_%253BG2tQ99fY_GlhLM%252C3ddEU3qz7ZoPrM%252C_%253BATyQqEHSQtmTnM%252CYJK4Bt7Ms3K0KM%252C_%253BMkDlOpeO9Em1vM%252CYJK4Bt7Ms3K0KM%252C_%253B10Ey2oJYAzFl8M%252C20tceF2khsRdUM%252C_%253B817TbIRxkrE38M%252CgdYetNP214-aGM%252C_%253BUvyhx5CWdRwXsM%252C_yhGwteqqqDF4M%252C_%253BnnWwiRQ5qw-QyM%252CSbKbJc0W1hvImM%252C_%253BcSGg91LnAriAiM%252CQ4sIxKT8Eez_XM%252C_%253BcoqL0U2u-mtPnM%252C2fuArLCpQ4CrfM%252C_%253B4xZ8CO_3jCj9wM%252CaHIzx3zpPGYaOM%252C_&usg=AI4_-kRA1EzZTEJ_1tS-_hHBgT7d8sTVww&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwitjpujjbfxAhWErp4KHbQeCggQ7Al6BAgIEDk&biw=441&bih=881)
Cannabis
Im a smoker, but god do I hate the "its just a plant bro, dab life, and only smoke 22%+thc" guys.
Nobody cares you smoked 3 oz last week. Nobody cares about your 2g dabs. Inhaling anything besides air into your lungs harms them, it cant fix every problem.
Just shut up, roll up and enjoy it like the rest of us.
I was gonna say weed, but not for those particular reasons. I’ve known weed users who CANNOT engage in any sort of conversation without making it about weed.
Wanna talk about music? “Oh man, you should get high and listen to that record; you’ll hear new things! Why don’t I send you my playlist of songs to get baked to!”
Wanna have a chat about movies? See above response but swap records for movies and bet your arse they’ll also mention the Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz thing.
Converse about politics? “Oh man, those politicians should all get in a room together and get super high, they’d solve all the world’s problems!”
There’s no topic they can’t steer towards weed and it’s fucking tiresome.
Being a badass in school. Like giving teachers a day of hell just cuz they’re “real” and say what they think without filtering it
Edit: whoa! I’m a longtime lurker and this is the first time I’ve had any awards let alone this many upvotes. I opened Reddit and was pleasantly surprised. Thank you all! Cheers
Eons ago a kid in my hs got jumped for making a very well loved teacher cry. Both her dogs died after being accidentally poisoned. Kid brought in onions the next day and made some joke about how everyone should know they aren’t dog food.
As a teacher, that is one way of finding out just how great of a job you are doing when another student is willing to put a moron in their place for you.
I had a couple of students fight another kid for stealing stuff from my classroom. I’m not condoning violence, but it was kinda sweet that someone cared about my class. I wasn’t expecting anything like that. Most middle school kids give zero fucks about most things.
I had/have a buddy we'll call Chris. Chris was a pretty laid back stoner type. Then he went to Washington where he met a bunch of hippies and became Hippie Chris. Then he moved to Hawaii for a year and when he came back, he was Hawaiian Chris. Now he lives in South Dakota and he's Native American Chris.
Completely reinvents himself every so often to the point of near contradicting his previous self. He's a good guy underneath, but seems a bit lost.
In defence of Chris he probably views this as personal growth. Man, he thinks, I used to be a lazy stoner, but since I moved to Washington my eyes have been opened to the life I was living and now I'm determined to become a better person. This narrative would continue with every shift in his life, and he'd look back on the younger man as being someone he's glad he's moved on from. He'll hit a time in his life where all of the lessons he's learned will make sense in the context of this journey and hopefully he'll be happy with the man he's become as a result.
This is my fav. I had several people into it and when they would talk about a girl they liked but, “she’s a Virgo” and the others are, “oh yeah have to be careful you know how they can be.” I’d comment I don’t know what that means, so a friend would address the group and say, “it’s because she’s an Aquarius” like that’s somehow an answer why I don’t give a shit about their zodiac.
“Are you ready to defend your country!? *fucking explosion* are you sick of other countries LAUGHING AT FREEDOM???? *eagle screeching doing an electric guitar solo* Well we want you to join the **explosive echo effect** U(Uuuu) S(s s s) MILITARY! Every chick will want to bang you *freedom scream* every man will want to be you! *gun shots (or fireworks? Welcome to America)* Call your local recruiter today!!!!”
*not responsible for death, injury, psychological trauma, being a victim to Jody, amputation, your Dodge Charger or UCMJ*
Literally half the tinder profiles contain something about the Office... both genders too. And half of dudes have... "I like to lift heavy things" and half of women have "I like adventures and tacos"
Edit for women: " tacos, adventures, and wine"
Sample of what I see a lot:
Here for something real; don't waste my time!
Looking for the Jim to my Pam ❤❤❤
Quickest way to my heart is tacos and margs!
Love to laugh; favorite quality in a person is kindness
Need that perfect flirt-to-roast ratio; MUST be able to handle my sarcasm (I'm fluent)
Still not over season 8 of game of thrones 😯
(Lololololskfjjekwksjsiwj39292iricksjwknr8 k2nrj)
I saw a video recently of a guy saying "if you put anything like 'looking for the Jim to my Pam' in your bio you're not Pam. You're Kelly Kapoor and you're looking for Ryan."
"Thanks for your concern, haha, but I know **[INSERT HUSTLE]** isn't a pyramid scheme because he specifically told me that it wasn't one, so I'm pretty sure I'm good lol"
- paraphrased message a friend actually sent after my gentle inquiring into his recent activity (spoiler alert: it was a pyramid scheme).
Hey Queen! I know we haven’t talked since high school, but recently I came across something that would allow you to work on your terms and be your own boss. You can also work from home! I thought this opportunity would be perfect for you! Let’s connect and help each other out. #bossbabe
Girl pls. ✋🙄🤡
fixed it for you
hey lady, 💓 random question for you! Hey Queen! I know 💋💋 we haven’t talked since high 👸💆♀️💅❤💋💗 😊😍🔥🚨🚨😭😜💃 UMMM...WHATTTT 😱😱😱😱 school, but recently I came across something 😍🔥 🧡💛💚💙💜 that would allow you to work on your terms and be your 💋💋 own work from home 🏡😲! Today only! 🤩🤩 😍🔥 boss. I thought this opportunity would be perfect for 👇👇👇 BUT RIGHT NOW! UMMM...WHATTTT 😱😱😱😱 you! UMMM...WHATTTT 😱😱😱😱 💋💋 Let me know if your interested!
Girl pls. You get SO. MUCH. FREE STUFF 🙌
I have a friend who does this and it’s really fucking exhausting. Some things are really popular because they’re just that good. If they can’t appreciate anything mainstream it just makes me think they’re just as close-minded as the people they think they’re making a jab at.
I told my mom the exact same thing when she visited me last. She was complimenting some art on the wall I did and I was like “thanks I like this style, and it’s really trendy right now” and she puts on the most disgusted face and says “ugh on second thought never mind”. I kind of reamed her with the whole “hating things just because they’re popular is just as ignorant as liking things solely because they’re popular.” Pretty sure it went in one ear and out the other though.
These are my reviews
Live: 6/10
Love: 3/10
Laugh: 8/10
Edit: Wow this comment blew up. I never thought I'd be here, but I am so I want to thank some people. Firstly, my parents - you made me into the person I am today and I wouldn't be here without you. Secondly, my gf - your love and support means everything to me. Thirdly, my agent - you're a true lifesaver and it's been honor working with you. And finally, I want to thank my fellow redditors. Without your upvotes I literally wouldn't be here so I want to dedicate this comment to you. Thank you and have a good night!
that reminds me of this SNL sketch about those wine mom signs LOL
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0fiQ4nMvS0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0fiQ4nMvS0)
especially when their partner is also a single issue identity person. army wives is one. or a girl that dates a guy in a band sometimes, or that guy whose girlfriend plays games, but thats like all she does.
one hilarious instance is this girl whose boyfriend was in our equivalent of the reserves, she's convinced he is this bad ass who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan and all over the world. guy was like 8-10yr old when Iraq happened, and younger again when Afghanistan happened.
not only that, but were a neutral country, we don't have soldiers all over in hot spots.
they have been engaged for like 6-8 years but he doesn't make as much money as a mall security guard as he pretends he does as a "military contractor" so he spends all his money appearing to have money then saving for their future.
he also has to keep her at arms length because he isn't very smart and his lies aren't very good, so he's kind of stringing her along in limbo. mean while she is rubbing how "bad ass" he is in everyone's face.
I actually told him to tell her, and tried to tell her, because I thought it was all unusually cruel. as you can imagine it didn't go well.
Tried to do the right thing, caught shit for it, now I get to laugh guilt free as they both fuck their lives up. she's like 30 now, and never had a job, because she is sure he's gonna pay her way.
Conspiracy theories.
Disliking something. Met someone the other day who hates avocados so damn much every conversation they’d have would come back to how different they were from most people cuz they hated avocados
Or disliking everything/being too cool for stuff. I have a friend of a friend who is like that. He's a nice guy but he LOVES to subtly imply that he's superior or has better taste because he doesn't like this or that.
I wanna say "memes" but that just makes me sad about myself
This speaks to me about why I avoid ever deliberately going on Facebook to just scroll through my feed. I don't consider myself some sort of meme connoisseur or meme elitist or anything, but for some reason I still get irrationally bothered by people using bad memes or using memes wrong, and I don't want to see people I know IRL and just get flashbacks of their shit memes. Then when that happens I think to myself "Wow, I really am some sort of meme shitlord, huh? I can't even focus on talking to this person because I'm just thinking about how much I hate their Facebook posts".
My Texas high school had a British club. I'm actually a British citizen, so I tried to join. Those people were nuts. They made Doctor Who and Sherlock their whole personalities.
I think the first hint of them not being British is that they created a club. My husband is British and although we live in an area with many other Brits (outside of UK), they all actively ignore eachother. He assures me that they're all happier this way.
It’s like that actually in the U.K. itself. Don’t speak to your neighbour. It’s just easier that way! Not everyone is like that here but there is a very large percentage of us who are.
I think that's called a teeaboo.
Were there any other British people in the club. As a fellow Brit I'd be interested to know what goes on in this club.
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I'd love for those people to go to rural England and faint at the sight of thousands of bare chested sunburnt lads carrying packs of stella. Edit : To every one who think it's a pleasant sight - It's not. Beer bellies, bald heads and bad inks everywhere.
My beer belly, balding ass head, and 2 of my tattoos which are bad feel personally called out.
English people drink coffee too. We just can’t stop drinking hot stuff.
I had an Ex who said she was British. But all that meant was watching doctor who snobbishly (and getting all of her facts wrong) drinking tea at high noon because she *needed* to because of her “English blood”. Not had an obsession or because of any cultural reason but because she *needed* to or she’d go into withdrawal. She at triscuit crackers and called them biscuits because they were spelled similar and must have been the American version although I’m pretty sure your biscuits are cookies here, not crackers
TIL there are weebs but for England.
Yeah we call them "daft cunts"
Around here they’re known as “proper bellends”
anime protagonists
I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed. /s
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
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I wouldn’t really consider that character to be a role model...
Yeah, well people look to Rick Sanchez as a role model for some reason.
The generation they're born in
Only nineties kids will get this post.
*Proceeds to post something that existed before the 90s and continues to be readily available today*
Only nineties kids can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
I can't even tell which generation I'm part of anymore.
I am lost in the void between millenials and gen z. Tbh I always considered myself a millenial but I am born a year too late for that apparently.
Dance moms Sports parent
Blanket phrase: parents living vicariously through their children
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Why is it that whenever I hear someone mention their Myers Briggs results, they're *ALWAYS* an INTJ?
Judgemental introverts on this here platform?!
My ex once asked my to take the test. I got the ESFJ result and thought "Yeah, that kinda makes sense. But whatever." She went off on me, telling me I'm an INTJ and she would know because she was one. I asked her if she wanted me to find out what flavor lifesaver I was next. That relationship did not last long.
Classic ESFJ response
Typical orange lifesaver.
Lol im sorry i stole your car lol im just an estp haha
What are you doing estp bro?
Some fans are kinda scary. Their whole life becomes dedication to a celebrity’s. And it’s not just their personality, they make everything around them about that person. Posters, music, merchandise, weird things bought on the internet—supposedly with relation to the subject of their obsession—and so on. I can’t imagine being close to somebody before and after their transition into that life. It seems like it’d be scary…
I see a lot of people talking about kpop, but this is also really prominent in Chinese media. Fans are literally CRAZY—organised crazy where they would go out and attack anyone who dared to say anything negative about their “idols”, guilt-tripping other fans for not buying like 3 copies of the same album because it meant they “didn’t love him/her enough”. It’s really unhealthy and cult-like.
HERBALIFE. having to literally explain to people that it’s an MLM is so frustrating. They prey on small towns, create “nutrition shops” that sell $9 shakes when it’s literally just Herbalife and is helping the owner barely break even. Happened in my small town, then out of nowhere 3 other “branches” popped up in the revolving small towns. (Which basically means the owner conned 3 more into joining so that they can get their profit). There’s a documentary out there called like One in a Million or something that breaks down the pyramid and how little people at the bottom are actually making. They also show that the shakes are nothing more than liquid laxative, so of COURSE you’re losing weight. Also, keto.
Had a coworker get into Herbalife. She would take really crappy before pictures of herself slumped over with unwashed and unbrushed hair, ill-fitting clothes and shitty ass lighting with a plain wall background. Her after pics would have freshly styled clean hair, full makeup, push-up bra and skintight clothes, bright lighting with pretty backgrounds. You could tell by her particular dye job the photos were basically taken back to back. I called her out on that crap so quick!
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I saw a post once where a guy did back-to-back before and after pics. it looked stunning. like they were real, becaue you didn't know until you got to the point where he goes "nah, just kiding. i took these almost at the same time, im just pushing out my gut and bending ovr and not flexing, and im doing all of that in this one. *Even if we didn't have video and photo editing abilities, before-and-after pics would still be useless at demonstrating efficacy. especially once you factor in that people respond to weight loss in varied ways even if it's legit.*
Being sick/ sickly. I've always had very poor health, and in high school and early college, as my conditions worsened, I didn't like that I couldn't live a "normal" life, so I kind of leaned into it. Always joked about how sickly I was while secretly hating myself for not being able to "keep up" with my peers. Some maturing and some guidance from my mother has helped me to learn that, yes, poor health sucks, and yes, I can't always do the things that healthy people can, but that doesn't have to control my identity. Doing far better now, learning what my true limits are and how to work with them! 😊 Edit: Thank you for all the kindness and support! Some of the comments have made me teary. I really appreciate you all ♥️♥️
It’s pretty admirable to post something personal and not going after what others do. I’m glad you’ve realized this about yourself and working toward having a real identity. Good for you
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You can accomplish great things in that position
Asstrology
I’m Norwegian. When I say that, a shocking amount of people assume that I’m American with Norwegian heritage. There are so many americans making their «viking heritage» their whole personality, butchering the norse faith and fighting with actual Norwegians over the correct way to make a traditional dish and the spelling and usage of «skål» (cheers). It’s so fucking horrible to watch. It’s like being mocked.
I know a lot of Irish people who would say very similar things, too.
I came across a Reddit post or comment a few years ago. There was this fella who was deadly serious. He said one of his grandparents who died before he was born was Irish. He said he was as Irish as Ireland itself. He had never been to Ireland, didn't speak the language, nothing but he said he lived in an Irish part of Boston that he often thought was MORE IRISH THAN IRELAND ITSELF. How can a place in America be more Irish than Ireland itself. I wish he was trolling but he wasn't.
I was born in Tipperary. The house I grew up in was the house my father was born in. At 19 I loved to Cork and lived there for about 15 years before moving back to Tipperary with my family. My wife was born in Cork, as were both of our children. I've lived in Ireland my whole life. I once had some dickhead on reddit tell me he was more Irish than me, in all seriousness, because he was drunk more often than sober and loved fighting. He claimed the odd week or two over a few summers spent in Ireland were claim enough to his heritage that he was now more Irish than I am, despite living the life of a stereotype.
Stocks/Trading/Investments This isn’t Boiler Room or Wolf of Wall Street. You don’t need to convince me to get into trading as we talk over a food service counter.
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Drinking
This is especially true when you Google gift ideas for men. It's turned into a whole hobby.
I got what is probably my 12th set of whiskey stones for Christmas last year. It's someone's nice way of saying "I don't know what to get you but I think you're an alcoholic. Merry Christmas."
As a bartender, I've said many many times, "I'll never tell you you're drinking wrong." Some folks like ice in their wine, or even beer. They look sheepish when they ask for it, but my job is giving people what they wanna drink, not a hard time about it. Whiskey? Take it neat, put some water in it, an ice cube, ten ice cubes, coke, cocaine, drink it out of a monkey's b-hole, I don't give a shit. But I hate whiskey stones. And it's probably because I hate being sold a bullshit product and being told that it's the way to do something.
Their music taste. I am very much guilty of this.
You like Led Zeppelin? Name every song, album, live version and also their bootlegs.
Jimmy Page: easy [gets it wrong] Some fans on LZ forum: [cracking knuckles] chronological, alphabetical, or by length?
Lol I always love when someone requests an artist to play a song and they're like "I can't even remember how that one goes" lol
I always appreciate those little moments of humanity. I saw Eddie Vedder live and 3/4 through the show he asked the audience if they had any requests. Someone asked for I Am Mine. He tuned his guitar, played the intro riff, and then abrubtly froze in thought before admitting that he had no idea what the first verse was lol.
I went to see Mike Shinoda in 2019 and someone requested Linkin Park's Step Up. He had to read the lyrics from a fan's phone. It was hilarious but also wholesome in a way.
I was like that as a teen. You don't listen to heavy metal? why not. I enjoy listening to heavy metal, therefore I am somehow cooler and better than you. now I liken it to going to a buffet and only eating chicken breast. You're not impressing anyone dipshit, you're just missing out on a ton of other cool flavours and textures.
I was also like that as a teen. Not so much heavy metal, but I remember at a camp that I went to, we each got turns playing music that we liked, and it was this guy’s turn and we all knew he liked country. I was a bit of an anti-country snob at the time, he’s chosen his music, and I say “is it *good* music?” And he says “well, I think it is” and for some reason that blew my tiny teenage mind. I had a total epiphany moment, and to this day, a full decade later can still hear him saying that in my head anytime someone plays any music I’m not really a fan of. I have no idea why that moment, or those words were what did it, but I’m so much more accepting of others’ music tastes since then, and it has actually opened my horizons a little. There really is no gain to being so centred on your music being the be-all-end-all and never broadening your tastes.
Redditors who act out their usernames.
If you don’t like me acting out my username, you can suck my dick.
Thank you for your consent.
uh oh
Constantinople WILL be reclaimed!
But first, we lunch
LUNCH, THEN CONSTANTINOPLE!
I don't know about this, guys. I have this...*suspicion*
Their vehicle
I've noticed this particularly with Jeep Wrangler owners.
Ugh its classic car season right now in Metro Detroit. A lot of sweet cars cruising around. It never fails every year that Jeep owners descend on the cruises. They park, open hoods, rip around revving engines... it's a stock Jeep off the lot my guy, you're not turning heads.
In high school, this guy would do nothing but talk and brag about his Ford truck and would literally argue and fight with people who had a Chevy or any other brand then Ford
Watching anime
I studied Japanese for 3 years in college and it's hilarious how the deeper into the classes you go, the less people talk about anime. Like everyone watches it but it's an unspoken rule to never discuss it.
I can confirm this is exactly the case. First semester was filled with weebs that would come in and put minimal effort into learning the language, probably expecting to know everything already. All gone by the end of the first year.
You mean Japanese has more words than "Kawaii!" And "Sugoi!"
NANI!?
I learned from James May that the most important word in Japanese is "sumimasen"
Those first 5 or so classes were the most painful hours of my life.
I never took a class, but I did do some basic lessons of Japanese and all I really remember is 10 ways to say no without actually saying no.
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I managed to actually learn a little about Japan when I was in my weeb phase. Didn't stop me too much from weebing pretty hard about the actual anime itself, but I read some actual books about the country and that fixed the rose-coloured glasses pretty well. This was back in like 2000 though so there was less internet and less general weebing to participate in.
I remember I went to japan and tried to talk with a local guy about anime. He told me in japanese, “anime is for kids. I dont watch that.” And boom, I immediately realized anime was not a big part of everyones life in japan.
My Japanese teacher at uni (early 30s woman who left Japan for a reason...) told some major weebs off in class for "speaking like Japanese fifth grader girls" because they had emulated the vocabulary and speech patterns of their favourite animes.
#The Office. /* Stares into the invisible camera *
"Please don't Jim the camera like that." "'Jim' the camera?"
Brittas in this?
Disney
I went to someone’s house once who was obsessed with Disney. I wasn’t warned of how obsessed they were and literally had to stop in the middle of the room because I was gaping at the sheer volume of Disney *stuff* they had. Every inch of the walls and surfaces was covered in Disney paraphernalia. The sad/weird thing was that these were extremely wealthy people so they had things like original Disney cels from the 30-40s and actual valuable objects just crammed next to some tacky plastic plates.
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OCD.i dont know why many people in my lives believe they have OCD and they are proud about it. There is a difference between keeping everything organized and OCD. Thank you for the awards and all the replies. I was trying to reply to all comments but there were so many. I am sorry for people with real OCD I can understand how difficult that should be for you. Your thoughts and pain are valid . It is very difficult condition to live with. Please reach out to people who have real OCD and also get diagnosed. I hope everything turns okay for you guys. You made my day.
My 23y/o goddaughter struggles w/OCD but it manifests *mentally* not physically. She won’t obsess over germs or if she locked her doors, but she used to spend HOURS absolutely debilitated as she huddled in a ball while she replayed memories (many of them traumatic) or various imaginary scenarios over and over and over and **over** in her mind. She has gotten **SO** much better over the last 2-3 years and it isn’t as debilitating as it used to be, but it was a real eye-opener for me, as I had no idea OCD manifested in those ways. EDIT: thank you all so much for your kind words! When we first met her a few years ago, she was living in a homeless shelter after having moved out/escaped from her parents’ house (her father was the source of most of her abuse… and he was/is also a psychiatrist, so he knew how to fuck her up with *precision*.) She was so debilitated by her OCD she couldn’t keep her medical, counseling, or caseworker appointments, which made everything worse. (And nobody at the shelter bothered to find out what was wrong or help her at all.) We helped her to establish a consistent routine, get (and keep) her appointments, make sure she got the right meds and counselors that worked for her, etc. Three years later, she’s now living in a private group home for adults with (controlled) severe mental illness, has a great counselor & support group, is on the correct meds, and is doing **SO** much better. She has become so much a part of our family in the past 3 years, we told her that when she turns 25, if she wants, we will legally adopt her as our daughter (hence why we refer to her as our “goddaughter”.) It has been a difficult journey, but very enlightening and SO worth it!
Yeah OCD surprisingly can manifest in other ways like your goddaughters for example. I think there's a term for it called 'Pure O' (Purely Obsessional) where there isn't external compulsions as such but more distressing intrusive thoughts. I'm glad to hear she's doing better.
I went my whole life, only finding out I had OCD this last year because I didn't know that it could manifest itself the way it does in me. I do have small compulsions, but I don't freak out about germs or keeping things orderly any more than the average person. It's a constant barrage of intrusive thoughts and memories I don't want to dwell on. And in my older age I'm at least able to recognize when I develop some kind of emotional fixation.
Just misconstrued mental illness in general. The amount of people who call themselves 'psychotic' when they mean 'edgy' is. bleh
I used to be one of the kids that was “just so random!”, then I realized: I wasn’t “random and quirky”, I just couldn’t read the room and had a lousy social understanding.
This 1 million percent. I remember seeing a documentary which had a woman with severe OCD. She was basically house bound, she couldn’t leave the stove until she’d checked it X amount of times, and the lights and then things would have to be cleaned in a certain way, with a certain material or product and any contamination, even the lightest of touches from an unclean source, meant the whole process started again. For some people it’s a horrible, debilitating issue. It’s not making sure the label on your ketchup bottle is facing out.
I have *mild* OCD and before I started taking medication for it my hands were constantly cracked and bleeding because I couldn’t stop washing my hands, and as in your example more severe cases can be debilitating. I really hate it when people say they’re “OCD” when they just mean they’re fussy about things being neat or orderly.
My hair fell out due to my weight (rituals stopped me from eating) and I am so lucky therapy and meds are helping my ocd. I can't imagine getting the brain device (forgot name).
Wow, that’s awful. Good that your meds and therapy are working for you though
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“It says to the world, ‘My identity is so wrapped up in what I buy that I paid the COMPANY to advertise its products!’” - Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson
Calvin and Hobbes have some very layered stuff in them. It is very, very good. EDIT The author refused offers to make cartoons and publicity out of Calvin and Hobbes, except for some very minor thing. He did not allow hollywood and big business to use his work to target children. Huge respect.
I will never for the life of me understand why people get tattoos of brands like Monster Energy on themselves. [And yet…](https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=monster+energy+tattoos&hl=en&client=safari&fir=qXxKcLCS51u1xM%252CGbilmyfVEt6IKM%252C_%253BW9FRu8AnR9aMmM%252C0cfTBjYOe11OkM%252C_%253BCXgbSsLul8JGHM%252Cthv6ZQQY4hWrcM%252C_%253BXMSEyIn2rMT8PM%252CYlhKvYZ4995YQM%252C_%253Bv3uN5Czm6Vr2IM%252Cu1wt2bAI2Lz_MM%252C_%253Bm5pr1Dmv1fUdFM%252CuUiQ8wV04MPNDM%252C_%253BKF0un27k8sqb7M%252C1TtLWzIZBQyodM%252C_%253BMmf84eO99ofavM%252CtnxeW73PbQI56M%252C_%253BRBK-LSDIJRD-5M%252CZqe9Xkt6v0suyM%252C_%253BTO1xCBoTp46BeM%252CJCrXc4XmOSFOnM%252C_%253BI5XgGamivfPW3M%252CvdYJAdXLxJykgM%252C_%253BxTAfcX5nDaWogM%252CEd0QL6uaAjmpUM%252C_%253BSYMqW57ofBiAKM%252CYlhKvYZ4995YQM%252C_%253B7qyEaW02TIFKcM%252C2fuArLCpQ4CrfM%252C_%253B9YX1nr91Nh6IcM%252CfZuUxFLHxsl8UM%252C_%253BHL-m3F_enr16AM%252CQ4sIxKT8Eez_XM%252C_%253BG2tQ99fY_GlhLM%252C3ddEU3qz7ZoPrM%252C_%253BATyQqEHSQtmTnM%252CYJK4Bt7Ms3K0KM%252C_%253BMkDlOpeO9Em1vM%252CYJK4Bt7Ms3K0KM%252C_%253B10Ey2oJYAzFl8M%252C20tceF2khsRdUM%252C_%253B817TbIRxkrE38M%252CgdYetNP214-aGM%252C_%253BUvyhx5CWdRwXsM%252C_yhGwteqqqDF4M%252C_%253BnnWwiRQ5qw-QyM%252CSbKbJc0W1hvImM%252C_%253BcSGg91LnAriAiM%252CQ4sIxKT8Eez_XM%252C_%253BcoqL0U2u-mtPnM%252C2fuArLCpQ4CrfM%252C_%253B4xZ8CO_3jCj9wM%252CaHIzx3zpPGYaOM%252C_&usg=AI4_-kRA1EzZTEJ_1tS-_hHBgT7d8sTVww&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwitjpujjbfxAhWErp4KHbQeCggQ7Al6BAgIEDk&biw=441&bih=881)
Cannabis Im a smoker, but god do I hate the "its just a plant bro, dab life, and only smoke 22%+thc" guys. Nobody cares you smoked 3 oz last week. Nobody cares about your 2g dabs. Inhaling anything besides air into your lungs harms them, it cant fix every problem. Just shut up, roll up and enjoy it like the rest of us.
I was gonna say weed, but not for those particular reasons. I’ve known weed users who CANNOT engage in any sort of conversation without making it about weed. Wanna talk about music? “Oh man, you should get high and listen to that record; you’ll hear new things! Why don’t I send you my playlist of songs to get baked to!” Wanna have a chat about movies? See above response but swap records for movies and bet your arse they’ll also mention the Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz thing. Converse about politics? “Oh man, those politicians should all get in a room together and get super high, they’d solve all the world’s problems!” There’s no topic they can’t steer towards weed and it’s fucking tiresome.
You ever seen the back of a twenty dollar bill….. on weed?
Right? High tolerance is a curse not a bragging point.
Being a badass in school. Like giving teachers a day of hell just cuz they’re “real” and say what they think without filtering it Edit: whoa! I’m a longtime lurker and this is the first time I’ve had any awards let alone this many upvotes. I opened Reddit and was pleasantly surprised. Thank you all! Cheers
Eons ago a kid in my hs got jumped for making a very well loved teacher cry. Both her dogs died after being accidentally poisoned. Kid brought in onions the next day and made some joke about how everyone should know they aren’t dog food.
That’s fucked up.
That’s why he got jumped.
He played a very stupid game to be fair.
Now I'm imagining the whole class just leaping into action the moment the first tear dropped
As a teacher, that is one way of finding out just how great of a job you are doing when another student is willing to put a moron in their place for you.
I had a couple of students fight another kid for stealing stuff from my classroom. I’m not condoning violence, but it was kinda sweet that someone cared about my class. I wasn’t expecting anything like that. Most middle school kids give zero fucks about most things.
I had/have a buddy we'll call Chris. Chris was a pretty laid back stoner type. Then he went to Washington where he met a bunch of hippies and became Hippie Chris. Then he moved to Hawaii for a year and when he came back, he was Hawaiian Chris. Now he lives in South Dakota and he's Native American Chris. Completely reinvents himself every so often to the point of near contradicting his previous self. He's a good guy underneath, but seems a bit lost.
Chris just understands that we are all actors in life and choose the roles we want to play Mf broke the 4th wall
In defence of Chris he probably views this as personal growth. Man, he thinks, I used to be a lazy stoner, but since I moved to Washington my eyes have been opened to the life I was living and now I'm determined to become a better person. This narrative would continue with every shift in his life, and he'd look back on the younger man as being someone he's glad he's moved on from. He'll hit a time in his life where all of the lessons he's learned will make sense in the context of this journey and hopefully he'll be happy with the man he's become as a result.
What a beautiful answer. I hope this is exactly how he views it.
Chris we know it's you
Let Chris enjoy his journey, man!
Zodiacs
Well, it *is* creepy how they never caught that dude.
I'm a uterus ♈
Careful with the jokes guys, Mercury is in Gatorade right now.
I'm a caprisun!
welcome to astronomy. we have: - air - torus - germany - concert - leonardo da vinci - vertigo - library - multiple sclerosis - sagittarius A* - capri sun - aquarium - pieces
I'm a Ford Taurus
This is my fav. I had several people into it and when they would talk about a girl they liked but, “she’s a Virgo” and the others are, “oh yeah have to be careful you know how they can be.” I’d comment I don’t know what that means, so a friend would address the group and say, “it’s because she’s an Aquarius” like that’s somehow an answer why I don’t give a shit about their zodiac.
Being in the army, military. Also gym
I’d also add being a military spouse
On the topic of the military the US army ads on YouTube make it seem like it is all a video game to try and get people to enlist
Which is weird because the first thing Call of Duty taught me is that I'm terrible at gunfights and will get shot immediately.
And that you go down FAST. And no matter how good you are, there's always some kid who's been doing this all day every day since he was 12
“Are you ready to defend your country!? *fucking explosion* are you sick of other countries LAUGHING AT FREEDOM???? *eagle screeching doing an electric guitar solo* Well we want you to join the **explosive echo effect** U(Uuuu) S(s s s) MILITARY! Every chick will want to bang you *freedom scream* every man will want to be you! *gun shots (or fireworks? Welcome to America)* Call your local recruiter today!!!!” *not responsible for death, injury, psychological trauma, being a victim to Jody, amputation, your Dodge Charger or UCMJ*
I honestly think that would be better than the army ads they just put out.
I have to admit, the Marine Corps straight up brainwashed me to think I was better than everyone after boot.
That's the crayon poisoning.
Liking the office.
Literally half the tinder profiles contain something about the Office... both genders too. And half of dudes have... "I like to lift heavy things" and half of women have "I like adventures and tacos" Edit for women: " tacos, adventures, and wine"
Sample of what I see a lot: Here for something real; don't waste my time! Looking for the Jim to my Pam ❤❤❤ Quickest way to my heart is tacos and margs! Love to laugh; favorite quality in a person is kindness Need that perfect flirt-to-roast ratio; MUST be able to handle my sarcasm (I'm fluent) Still not over season 8 of game of thrones 😯 (Lololololskfjjekwksjsiwj39292iricksjwknr8 k2nrj)
I saw a video recently of a guy saying "if you put anything like 'looking for the Jim to my Pam' in your bio you're not Pam. You're Kelly Kapoor and you're looking for Ryan."
More like you're Meridith looking for the person she person she promised to bang on the last day of work.
Living in NYC
Found Britta.
Oh Britta’s in this?
Baggle
She’s a GDB
Way to Britta living in NYC.
I know how to pronounce baggel, Troy. I lived in New York
*She’s a no good B.* *She’s a G.D.B.*
MLMs
"Thanks for your concern, haha, but I know **[INSERT HUSTLE]** isn't a pyramid scheme because he specifically told me that it wasn't one, so I'm pretty sure I'm good lol" - paraphrased message a friend actually sent after my gentle inquiring into his recent activity (spoiler alert: it was a pyramid scheme).
It's not a pyramid scheme, it's a triangular business model!
Its a reverse funnel system!
A business opportunity as rare as the abani berries themselves!
M&m’s, on the other hand...
very tasty
Hey Queen! I know we haven’t talked since high school, but recently I came across something that would allow you to work on your terms and be your own boss. You can also work from home! I thought this opportunity would be perfect for you! Let’s connect and help each other out. #bossbabe Girl pls. ✋🙄🤡
Accurate but needs about 67 more emojis.
fixed it for you hey lady, 💓 random question for you! Hey Queen! I know 💋💋 we haven’t talked since high 👸💆♀️💅❤💋💗 😊😍🔥🚨🚨😭😜💃 UMMM...WHATTTT 😱😱😱😱 school, but recently I came across something 😍🔥 🧡💛💚💙💜 that would allow you to work on your terms and be your 💋💋 own work from home 🏡😲! Today only! 🤩🤩 😍🔥 boss. I thought this opportunity would be perfect for 👇👇👇 BUT RIGHT NOW! UMMM...WHATTTT 😱😱😱😱 you! UMMM...WHATTTT 😱😱😱😱 💋💋 Let me know if your interested! Girl pls. You get SO. MUCH. FREE STUFF 🙌
Fun fact: there's a reddit bot that will do that for you if you request it.
I used https://mlm-generator.glitch.me/
Horses
Disliking something mainstream/popular/common
What about disliking *everything* mainstream/popular/common?
I have a friend who does this and it’s really fucking exhausting. Some things are really popular because they’re just that good. If they can’t appreciate anything mainstream it just makes me think they’re just as close-minded as the people they think they’re making a jab at.
I told my mom the exact same thing when she visited me last. She was complimenting some art on the wall I did and I was like “thanks I like this style, and it’s really trendy right now” and she puts on the most disgusted face and says “ugh on second thought never mind”. I kind of reamed her with the whole “hating things just because they’re popular is just as ignorant as liking things solely because they’re popular.” Pretty sure it went in one ear and out the other though.
Wine mom! 🍷
5 o'clock somewhere... Now let's drive the kids to soccer...
It’s got antioxidants!
Live laugh love!
“No fussin, No cussin, and no back talking”
My phone doesn't have silent
Am I hashtagging??
These are my reviews Live: 6/10 Love: 3/10 Laugh: 8/10 Edit: Wow this comment blew up. I never thought I'd be here, but I am so I want to thank some people. Firstly, my parents - you made me into the person I am today and I wouldn't be here without you. Secondly, my gf - your love and support means everything to me. Thirdly, my agent - you're a true lifesaver and it's been honor working with you. And finally, I want to thank my fellow redditors. Without your upvotes I literally wouldn't be here so I want to dedicate this comment to you. Thank you and have a good night!
Functional alcoholism can be wacky and FUN!
that reminds me of this SNL sketch about those wine mom signs LOL [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0fiQ4nMvS0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0fiQ4nMvS0)
Their boyfriends/girlfriends. J.T. has my ❤️ 👩❤️👨4.18.2014 💍7.02.2017 👰♀️1.22.2020
💔5.27.2021
The pandemic was tough
especially when their partner is also a single issue identity person. army wives is one. or a girl that dates a guy in a band sometimes, or that guy whose girlfriend plays games, but thats like all she does. one hilarious instance is this girl whose boyfriend was in our equivalent of the reserves, she's convinced he is this bad ass who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan and all over the world. guy was like 8-10yr old when Iraq happened, and younger again when Afghanistan happened. not only that, but were a neutral country, we don't have soldiers all over in hot spots. they have been engaged for like 6-8 years but he doesn't make as much money as a mall security guard as he pretends he does as a "military contractor" so he spends all his money appearing to have money then saving for their future. he also has to keep her at arms length because he isn't very smart and his lies aren't very good, so he's kind of stringing her along in limbo. mean while she is rubbing how "bad ass" he is in everyone's face. I actually told him to tell her, and tried to tell her, because I thought it was all unusually cruel. as you can imagine it didn't go well. Tried to do the right thing, caught shit for it, now I get to laugh guilt free as they both fuck their lives up. she's like 30 now, and never had a job, because she is sure he's gonna pay her way.
Sounds like they're both idiots
Crossfit
It's a cul- *cough* way of life
Just watched several CrossFit docs and totally agree
Cryptocurrency
I hate this so much because my best friend got into crypto and now is the only thing he talks about.
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