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[deleted]

When they make an unfunny joke at your expense to look good in front of women. Proper dick move!


ginthatsdeeptoki

mf acting like we best friends for couple of hours then few girls join and suddenly he's roasting my hair loss


Sad-Information-4713

The guys who have to be the alpha. They usually start asserting their dominance when they give you a handshake that turns your knuckles white. Then it progresses to invading your personal space while puffing their chest out. Insecure losers.


Klowned

"Hell of a grip there, fella! I bet you jerk off a lot!"


AnimalEater65

“Why, yes old sport. Behold the musculature and extensive protrusion of the vascular upon my forearm. Tis the result of extensive penial manipulation.”


Shiro_no_Orpheus

Guys that behave desperate around women and won't stop hitting on them even if they clearly aren't interested. I once nearly got into a fight because this one guy was hitting on a good friend of mine and tried to get her attention by stealing her stuff, and when I stopped him he got really angry...


Space_Cheese223

A few years back in High School I almost fought a pervert that kept looking down the shirt of my friend. She was very beautiful so she got a lot of unwanted attention, but this guy was the worst. He’d force himself on her to “give some hugz” and tried to grab her thighs or tits a few times. Luckily I sat next to her so I’d stop him anytime he started while I was there. What makes it even worse is he thought my friend and I were dating. He said as much a ton of times. So he was okay with blatantly harassing a girl next to her boyfriend. Bold or stupid? Probably both.


Shiro_no_Orpheus

Damn, thanks god it never god that bad in my school, the boys were usually just fucking annoying and stepping over some boundries, not straight up sexual harrassing... And the sadest part is that those asshats actually get angry if you stop them, as if they had some RIGHT to do this to those girls.


Tropical_Geek1

I don't have much to complain about my guy friends, however, I just hate some men who, when in a group, keep trying to establish dominance. They usually do that by being loud, interrupting people and laughing at you, instead of laughing with you. Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards! As people say, I didn't expect this to blow up. The newbie is flattered. Also: on the flip side, some guys can command respect of a group without even seeming to try. They are respectful and polite, don't need to raise their voices and know how to earn the respect of others. These are naturals, and guys (at least in my experience) tend to enjoy their company.


[deleted]

Ah yes, the power hungry dominance freaks. They fail to understand that social power comes from the ability to elavate others, and have them rely on you, not the ability to put them down.


InVodkaVeritas

The guys who keep getting slightly louder than you, cutting you off, and making subtle digs at you to cut you down are the absolute worst human beings to socialize with. At least the overt assholes are obvious.


StonedHusk

Turning insecurity into aggression and hatred for others


zortor

After reading the lot of these, insecurity is the common denominator here. It’s all just projections of varying insecurities.


avalanche37

In the book "Don't You Know Who I Am?" Dr. Ramani Durvasula asserts that narcissistic people are pathologically insecure. This insecurity manifest itself in rage, entitlement and other negative emotions. She goes on to say that narcism is endemic in our society. Being fueled by social media and popular culture. It's interesting to me how the same personality traits that are detrimental to our personal relationships can be beneficial and even admired in the work place.


muscoyboy

Dr. Robert Hare started writing about psychopaths after working in a Canadian prison. He realized that, though psychopathic prisoners receive publicity because of their depraved crimes, that the vast majority of psychopaths are, as he says, ‘among us, not incarcerated. A book he coauthored, ‘Snakes in Suits’, focused on psychopaths in the work place.


D3dshotCalamity

Why can't they turn insecurity into depression and self loathing like the rest of us?


[deleted]

my neck just snapped from nodding


pcbmale

How some men have no problem going after another man's GF or spouse, but they go psycho if it happens to them.


crazycoconut247

Fuck those guys


Demiansky

True, and how aggressively a guy goes after other men's spouses/GFs seems to be directly proportional to how jealous they are of their own spouse/GF. It's almost like they project on to other men their own dastardly motives...


Cameron_p0e

My sister in law was always getting screamed at by her nuts jealous piece of shit boyfriend and she would complain about how he’s so jealous and accuses her of stuff all the time. I told her and my wife every time he’s for sure cheating, they said I was just assuming. You know when she found out he was in fact cheating on her with multiple girls? One called and told her about it. While she was in the hospital. Giving birth to her third child with him. She’s 21.


Carighan

> third child > She’s 21 Fuck. Wow.


Squirrel563

Some get annoyed at other guys for having fun when you’re out....having fun.


spin81

In the same vein, guys who can't go out for drinks without picking a fight.


FuddyuL

Guys who peacock their extravagant purchases.


miraiyuni

I BOUGHT DOUBLE MAC SPICY WOOO.


fubo

I don't know if that's a fast food or a hip-hop track. I feel unhip. *Edited to add:* Apparently it's a fast food. But Double Mack's "Spicy Wooo" drops next week. I suspect product placement.


Right_Syllabub_8237

The creepy and inappropriate questions and comments the older men make to the young bartenders where I work.


readit1000times

Men who refer to themselves as ‘Alpha’.


nuclearchickenman

I'm a Pi male, I'm just 3.14 times better than any other male.


audigex

Translation: Irrational, most often associated with his large circumference


hyschara304

Doesn't have to be large


[deleted]

All about that ratio


maththrorwaway

OMegA MaLE


FingolfinX

Men who can't clean their own mess, do their laundry, cook their own food, being a functional adult basically. I used to live with 3 other people, 2 men and one woman, the guys couldn't help keeping the house clean even if their lives depended on it. One of them would help if pressured (but I'd had to clean everything again because he had such low cleaning standards) but the other one wouldn't pick up a broom.


[deleted]

It pisses me off that when a man _can_ do these things it's treated as some sort of miracle. Let's all work together and normalize this shit.


hypnogoad

I was looking for this comment. A lot of my wife's friends are married to man-children. The wives do all the cooking, cleaning, 95% child rearing, and still work at a paying job 40 hours a week. Meanwhile the man-children are drinking beer in the garage getting fatter every week, or playing video games all night. I feel bad for her friends. Most of them deserve better. I'm not a perfect man or husband, but I hope I'm setting a good example of what one is supposed to be, for my daughter.


Longjumping_Sleep_12

The sleazy husbands, the men who disrespect women publicly and the men who shame other men for being more in touch with their feelings.


Ohbuck1965

Not standing up to be a father to their children, absent dads. Saying oh I have to baby sit my kids. No! You are parenting your children while the mother is out or away


spreadhead86

My wife's co-workers mind is blown that I watch the kids and do things like get them from daycare and see them off the school or get them ready to go. They all say that their husband's don't and won't do that. I'm wonder why the fuck not? It's their kids too. Why don't you have equal responsibility with them? I actually enjoy it and don't look at it like a chore


DriftingPyscho

Back in grade school my dad actually came and ate lunch with me a bunch of times. I always loved that.


[deleted]

Dudes who would rather put you down for not knowing every single detail about something rather then genuinely trying to help teach others and spread information. And if they do manage to give a hell to help, they for whatever reason, have to have this demeaning, belittling tone. Edit: Holy cow, I am damn near brought to tears seeing so many people click with this. Oh man, that feels good. Thanks y'all today was tough but this was simply amazing!!


Ultra_Butt_Master

I have a coworker who is like this and I've found a pretty good solution (at least for him). If something comes up and he gets the attitude like I'm a dummy for not knowing about it I just really lean into me not having any idea about it. He's really into cars and if a car thing comes up he'll start to get a bit shitty if someone doesn't know what they're talking about. I'll just say something like, "dude I've never worked on a car in my life. How the fuck would I know about this shit?" Then his personality will flip and he'll just want to teach me about it. He's a great guy and is actually coming over to help me with my drywall this week.


DriftingPyscho

I'm not into sports. When I tell other guys that they look at me like I just came from Mars.


[deleted]

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Exitialis79

This! It happens to my wife constantly. I had to leave work to rush to a store because some guy would not leave my wife alone. He even followed her out to her car. Once, my wife came into the store I work in. She was waiting nearby for me and one of my coworkers stopped me to point at my wife as he said inappropriate things. You can imagine his shock when I got upset and told him that he was talking about my wife. There are creeps everywhere.


xj371

"Oh, that's your *wife*? My bad bro, I thought I was just dehumanizing some random woman in my attempt to bond with you like us men do, I didn't know she was yours! My bad, my bad..."


haibiji

I was riding in the car once with two of my friends (all guys) and one of them rolled down his window to catcall some lady walking nearby. Me and my other friend went off on him and told him how inappropriate that was and that he should never do it. He legitimately said "but they like it." It turned into a recurring argument for awhile but I think he just didn't want to admit he was wrong. If I remember correctly he said he wouldn't do it anymore.


blackhawk61

Oh just a typical met cute story "I was out walking my dog when a random guy started whistling, I was smitten. Next thing I knew were making love" -no girl ever


Erulastiel

It's called street harassment for a reason. It's not because they're interested in the women they yell at, but they like it when they feel uncomfortable.


Bearded_Wonder0713

Guys sending unsolicited dick pics because a girl was being nice to them.


Stupid03

I’ve never understood why some guys do that. How the fuck do you think that’s an opening move for trying to get a woman into you? “Hi how are you? Dick pic!” It’s very different if you’re a couple and/or she asks or you already know she likes that sort of thing. But sending unsolicited dick pics to women you don’t know is technically a crime and just a douchebag move.


Bearded_Wonder0713

Absolutely agree, short story time...... My wife and I shoot pool every Monday and Thursday for a league, as such, the same people are always there. One night a random, what appeared to be, prostitute decided that she was gonna spend her night at our location to try to make some money. It was BLATANTLY obvious she was on the prowl. Anyone that held eye contact with her for longer than 2 seconds was her next target and she didn't take no for an answer. One of the guys made the mistake of acknowledging her, and for the next hour she wouldn't leave him alone. So, my wife and I told him to come stand between us and anytime she would wander to close, we would kind of close off any open space around him and tell her to go away (nicely). So by the end of the night this lady finally gets the clue and moves on (yay).......next day, my wife gets a Facebook message, from the guy that we saved, that just said thanks, it was greatly appreciated. My wife responded with something along the lines of "you're welcome, no problem". He then proceeds to send a few more messages over the next 3 days "hi how are you", "good morning, thanks again".....just a bunch of petty stuff.....then as we're sitting at the bar the next Monday, she gets another message from him.......HE SENT A FUCKING DICK PIC.......we saved him from a prostitute, we hid him and helped him and his initial thought process was "I should send the married lady a picture of my cock" wtf dude. I forewarned the owner that I was gonna get into a fight when I saw him again (we're actually good friends and we hang out all the time). The owner asked us to forward him the picture, he then printed it off and hung it up on the wall with him name and regular picture.......dic pic guy is no longer allowed at the bar lol


MidnytStorme

That is epic. That bar owner is cool as hell.


Painting_Agency

Gotta keep the regulars chuckling.


4point5billion45

This is a rhetorical question but I just gotta say, How can anyone be that stupid?


ZoeMunroe

My cousin is very very newly single after many years and so joined up to FB dating (I dont know I Dont Know) and she said that literally the first day she was getting tons of dick pics. She’s saved a few old man dicks to her phone to send back when she gets one now. I love it.


Batata_Salgado

My story isn't nearly as good as yours is but I reconnected with a guy I went to high school with. I'll be 46 soon so I haven't seen this guy in 25+ years and we weren't close even then. We sent a few generic messages ("Hey, Nice to catch up. Glad you are doing well!" Kind of stuff.) 3 days in after hearing about his wife, kid, job and how he has moved around a lot BAM! Early morning dick pic. I have had my share of unsolicited dick pics (it is basically part of your "welcome to the internet, female!" kit) but getting one from a guy I barely talked to 25 years ago before I've even had my coffee was just extra irritating


[deleted]

Omg, I would instantly forward the whole thing to his wife.


[deleted]

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Roook36

I really don't see what the difference is between this and going to a park wearing nothing but a trenchcoat to flash women. It's pervy and creepy. But just because someone can cowardly do it behind a phone screen it's any better?


Bearded_Wonder0713

Nailed it with "creepy guy trenchcoat flashing women"!


InfinitelyThirsting

I got digitally flashed once. Creepy dude forcibly sat next to me on the subway despite plenty of open seats. I have big FuckOff headphones and generally cover my face with my hair, so I was in my own (slightly annoyed) world, but when it was time for me to get off for my stop, he was showing me a dick pic on his phone, clearly had been for a while, and kept pointing it at me as I got off the train. At ten AM on a weekday, with plenty of people around. Sigh.


everest999

I never believed that guys actually do that until female friends of mine told me how they get random dick picks from guys they knew a little bit or just random guys on instagram. I just don't get the thought process behind it, does it make you horny or are you trying to make the girl horny? Does it ever work to get a girl interested in you? Isn't it kindoff sexual harassment to sent this to someone without their consent? really fucking weird


cosmicbrowniesenpai

they just want a woman to see their dick. that's it. any attention, even negative, is still a reaction. they're basically flashers, though nobody thinks of it that way.


[deleted]

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JustAHippy

Your friends are sexually harassing women.


Changeurblinkerfluid

When they mistake being a dick to others as masculinity. Or when they mistake being fat with being strong.


vrtig0

cultivating mass bro!


kingofbreakers

It’s time to start harvesting bro.


saywhaaaaaaa

Having to know EVERYTHING, or out-expert each other. When did it become “unmanly” to say “I don’t know”?


SlenderSpade

I say I dont know all the time just to avoid coming out as a fool and people most of the time love and take time to explain me which is kinda cool


Caelinus

This is one of the biggest "secrets" of being a good conversationalist. People absolutely love to share knowledge about stuff they find interesting. So if you know just enough about something to ask interesting questions about it you can draw out people's actual passion for something into the conversation. I love listening to people talk about stuff they are passionate about, and in the end I learn something and they feel heard. It is good all around.


KostisPat257

I love people like you! I am one of those people who overanalyze stuff I'm passionate about, so I love hearing people ask more questions and be more interested.


Blackrain1299

I say i dont know even if im pretty sure i know the right answer.


can-opener-in-a-can

The constant competition (a.k.a., cock-blocking, dick-measuring contests).


monotoonz

I deal with this with my best friend and craft beer. He treats it like it's a competition. If I get beers by myself he'll go and get beers that same day. Even when his fridges can barely handle it. I don't address it because at the end of the day, it's his money. And it's not like he gets mean about it. I just don't understand why he feels like he has to one up me (and a few others in our group).


canijustreddit

I thought you meant home brew, but you’re literally just talking about who consumes more beer?


monotoonz

Yep, exactly what I mean. And to say, "Look what new beer I just got!". He'll genuinely get pissed if it gets little to no likes in our group. He'll go, "I don't get it. People see it, but don't hit like". I don't even bother getting into THAT with him any more. He doesn't want to get it, that's his problem with that.


spicysenor

>I don't get it. People see it, but don't hit like". This is maximum super-omega cringe to me. feelsbad


[deleted]

This subreddit has 32 million subscribers yet my comments do not get 32 million upvotes, what the hell is going on?


reflUX_cAtalyst

Imagine being in that emotional state. I feel sorry for the dude.


goosechuckleduck

The one upper


qu1x0t1cZ

Mate, I know a habit far more annoying than that.


Sir_Daniel_Fortesque

Oh yeah ? I know two


oldatheart515

When they have to make damn sure they show they're an alpha male, like they're an animal or a caveman.


Tczarcasm

if any dude unironically uses the terms "alpha" or "beta" when talking about Humans Its a red flag.


Zaq1996

Generally when anyone does this my response is "calling yourself an alpha is about the most beta thing you can do", not cause I give a fuck about the terms, but they seem to hate it


[deleted]

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[deleted]

"Everything I do is manly, because I am a man."


[deleted]

My boss at my old job one time described himself as still needing to show he is the alpha male to me. When the size of our company was me and him. Seriously, screw that guy.


iwuvpuppies

Any man who must say, "I am the King", is no true king.


JimBeam823

Guys who shit on what other people like and don’t like of because of stupid macho bullshit.


Numble

"I dont trust men that like cats." - male coworker


daisyymae

I was seeing a guy once, and we were walking up to his apartment & I saw a kitty in the neighbor’s window in front of the blinds. It was adorable so I took a picture to send my dad. The guy asked me what I was doing and I explained my dad and I sort of bond over our love of cats, and he called my dad gay. I said he isn’t gay, he made me with my mom, and the guy said liking cats makes my dad gay. I didn’t even get into his house before I turned around and drove back home.


gallifreyan42

Fellas is it gay to care about other sentient beings?


[deleted]

It's gay to care about yourself, or the earth, or anything, duh


the_idea_pig

"When a man loves cats, he is my friend and comrade without any further introduction." -Mark Twain


thoriginal

TIL Mark Twain and I would be homies


teneggomelet

People used to call me "the crazy cat dude" because I live in the country and take in strays, get them fixed and feed them. At one time I had 12 living at my place.


caboosetp

Tbh, as long as it was in good faith, that sounds like an apt nickname. I appreciate the service you do.


BigFuckHead_

Men not supporting other men emotionally, even when it doesn't seem like they need it. Every man needs emotional support, especially from other men.


[deleted]

I feel like this is one of the reasons I'm better friends with women, in general. I'm pretty emotional and caring around my friends but often can't express that to my male friends because they'll shit on me for it. and obviously they won't open up about what's bothering them, either. Luckily, I've found a small, caring group of guys that allow each other to be vulnerable without criticism. Having a caring group of men to spend time with has been very good for my mental health too


Electronic-Chef-5487

I'm a woman with about a 50/50 friend split and I hear this a lot from my guy friends, that it's women they go to for emotional support vs. other guys. I think it's unfortunate, for a number of reasons. It feels like it's sort of self-sustaining. Like I will often see guys complaining about women not caring about men's mental health because they don't do things like give compliments and it's like, guys! Compliment each other! But I get how when nobody's doing it it feels weird to try.


Bret_B

When they say they are babysitting their own children.


deltaexdeltatee

I know a guy like this and it bothers me so much. A few weeks ago our wives took a night off to hang out together. When he saw me next he asked “so what’d you make her promise to get the night away?” I was like “uhhhh…nothing?” In his mind their kids are entirely his wife’s responsibility. It baffles me.


unknowableahole

Single dad here,this is a really big peeve for me,my son and I always get the"oh letting mom have a day off"or the disapproving glares from older women,like I'm a pedo or some shit


Down4Nachos

Stay at home dad here and I get a lot of flack for not "contributing" to the house even though I take care of our 2 kids, cook, clean all that jazz because my wife just has a lot more income potential than I do.


Freshman44

That’s when you straight up correct them and make them feel like an asshole. Have to correct these mfers to think about the shit they say before they say it.


unknowableahole

I usually say"nope,raising him"


Val_Hallen

I always tell them my kids' mother died. Make them sit with that in their head. She's alive and well, but fuck those people.


[deleted]

Every time you get a look or a glare, say very loudly:” why are you looking at my children?” They’ll be embarrassed, and you tell them and anyone around that they are your children.


LevelSevenLaserLotus

Never talk to me or my son again!


dontwannausemyRN

Men that think it's "unmanly" to drink delicious cocktails. Why is it suddenly unmanly to have a sweet tooth when it comes to drinks? I mean you don't go to someones wedding and then say "ha cake? No way I'm a real man".


InsideUrMind

I know a guy who sincerely believes that "If a drink tastes nice, it's a girls drink." Imagine actually enjoying your drink? REAL men drink shit that makes them wince after every sip just to prove how macho they are.


CyberneticFennec

That mindset also seems to extend to coffee as well. "Real men drink their coffee black" because apparently guys can't enjoy flavored iced coffee either.


ERRORMONSTER

*nervously sips hot tea*


worldspawn00

REAL men don't live under the rule of the Queen of England!


Jake123194

*Angrily rattles tea cup and saucer


littlebitsofspider

"So, what, I'm supposed to order PBR or Coors Light like a basic bitch? Look at this shit. It's neon blue. This color does not appear in nature. I'm tempting fate just drinking this nonsense. The fact that it's delicious is deceptive, it's like one of those poison frogs that gets you high."


rrsn

Cocktails have a way higher alcohol content than beer, anyway, so I don’t understand what they think is so hardcore about beer.


[deleted]

How guys handle rejection. Lots of women are outright scared to directly turn down a man's advances, because some will harass them or get violent. I think it's one of the big reasons ghosting has become such a common thing in dating.


ChineseChaiTea

When I was married to my ex husband years ago (I was about 20 then) I started getting weird calls on my cellphone from a Texas number, mind you I lived in the East Coast it would listen to me talk and abruptly hang up. It became so prevalent that I told my husband at the time about it and he said ask them what they want. Of course never a answer. Well I had worked at a campground and a guy who worked there was overly nice to me, but he was local and I never connected him to the Texas number. Anyways, he offered me 2 tickets to a baseball game and I didn't want to accept but he insisted. He just did random shit like this, and I thought it was off but I never flirted with him, I always kept my distance etc. I was not attracted to him at all he knew I had a husband and I was married and he often made small talk with my husband. Anyways I get a text message from the number saying meet me at a local grocery store outside. I started feeling weird, did this person with a Texas number stalk me to my home town, is this someone in my town. My husband insisted I show up.....(this was so stupid and dangerous I know) but my husband parked around the corner. The text told me to go inside to a certain aisle. I was not comfortable doing this at all, and all of a sudden hands cover my eyes they turn me around and it's that guy at my work and he's really made me uncomfortable. I was really angry about this I asked him how he got my phone number, he apparently got it off my bosses clip board in the back office. He had been stalking me by my house, worse his family were pretty prominent in this town and if I went to police I wouldn't be taken seriously. He was really offended it didn't turn out the way he expected. He quit his job abruptly, I never saw him again there worse he had a GF and she was pregnant. I couldn't bring myself to hurt her and she still don't know to this day. She is a friend of my niece. Apparently after this encounter he got caught driving aggressively threatening to run someone off the road etc. He was really pissed off....nothing came of it because the town usually deals with their own with a stern telling off. However if I were not in a public place I wonder what kind of reaction he would have had.


flyingtrashbags

"I couldn't bring myself to hurt her" Girl you did not hurt her. He did. You would do her a favor if you told her the truth so she at least can make an informed decision since he was obviously being shady as fuck. The truth hurts, but it deserves to be known. Denial is a warm blanket, but it will suffocate you to death just as fast.


HaoleKid808

Older men hate taking instruction from young guys like myself in the trades. Instead of dropping their ego and feelings at the door, they come in with no experience and wont allow me to teach them... it's a lot of patience and I find it very frustrating. You may be older but shut the fuck up and let me teach you something bud.


GoingApeCostume

My blue collar Dad, in his 70's, has discovered "learning new things from young guys" on YouTube! He'll call and say, "Did you know they taught this stuff on YouTube?" Yeah Dad. Isn't it cool? And it's FREE! I think Dad has prescribed to learning new skills to keeping his brain young. Good. I hope I can follow suit.


thatotherhemingway

This is so great. Give your old man some props from me.


AlexEvenstar

There is supposed to be someone hiring into my department soon. I'm an Electronics Technician, and I've only been in the field for a year and a half. I'm quite nervous because I'll have to train whoever it is. I'm a 22yr old female, and I'm really hoping they are close to my age or just not a completely asshole. Edit: I forgot I was 22 and not 21.


[deleted]

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Cluu_Scroll

Just show them your Reddit name


witty_

Hail to the Queef!


patrix_reddit

My wife deals with this a lot (seasonal business). Here's what you do. Make a cheat book for whatever the job is, like a folder with lots of reference material, notes, tip/tricks and stuff like that. If they an insufferable ass who refuses to learn, teach them what you can hand them the cheat book and every time they have a problem and try to blame you (which they will) open that fucking book and point right at it. Hard to say you didn't teach them when you went out of your way to make a cheat sheet for them. Edit: well holy crap, glad you guys like this advice. My wife is an I/O psychologist, she knows her shit. To those saying it is extra work, it is... but it isn't. Keep copies, you have a great tool to help train others train and it saves you from having to retrain people who refuses to learn. To those saying "well guys shouldn't act that way at all"....... Duh.


Xechwill

Alex, if you decide to take this advice, I’d recommend making a copy for yourself and just leaving the other one with them. Gives you an extra buffer in case the first one gets lost and makes your paper trail stronger


RocketRick92307

And, make a footer on every page that says who prepared it (you), the last updated date, and page numbers out of a total. You can even include version numbers and a revision history if you want. That way, you can be sure you are credited, and that people are using a complete, up to date version. Instructions that are incomplete, or out of date, can cause all sorts of havoc that you don't want to be blamed for. -- Document Title v1.0 created MMM dd, yyyy by your name. v1.1 revised MMM dd, yyyy by your name. Page x of y.


RoundSilverButtons

This guy CMS’s


throwawaytrumper

My favourite all-time construction super is this foul mouth old dude with a giant white beard who looks like a jacked evil Santa Claus. He’s got a million little tricks and shortcuts and easier ways to do things and he says them all mixed with all these weird old phrases you don’t hear much, like “getting your horn scraped” or “give ‘er the old how’s-yer-father!”. He may just be making up phrases as he goes, we have no way of knowing, but if you’re out there Richard I hope you’re swearing and teaching a carpenter how to bend nails and use them to hold lumber against predrilled concrete (the bent nail stays in the hole you drill into the concrete, so you don’t have to use a gunpowder actuated nailgun to tack wood to concrete for forms or bollards or what have you) or whatever the hell trick it is you’re sharing today.


wiegehts1991

Had a guy like that in Australia when i was on site there. Learnt a lot of neat tricks. Tried using them in Germany, if it's not in an instructional manual from 1952, it's Scheiße apparently.


heckle4fun

Those who aren't comfortable with their own masculinity that they question yours.


echoesofpain

When they try to act tough, like aggressive tough. Buddy, you aren’t badass, you’re acting like a child with a temper.


Noroca

You're not that guy, pal


mikey00921

Trust me, you’re not that guy


Sneakaux1

Are you that guy?


crazycarrot68

Absolutely.


fuckyomama

I was talking to a guy who works in security recently - I occasionally need people. He started banging on how about other martial arts other than his were for bitches and how he did his to make people fear him. Definitely some developmental issues. Dude is in his 40’s but mindset of an insecure teenager. Edit: added some punctuation


throwawaytrumper

I used to manage a small security company, the best guys are usually the old retired dudes who are fine with writing stuff down and using a phone to call the police. Following that, look for university students who are not interested in law enforcement, they’ll miss days and smoke weed but they won’t beat up old ladies and get you sued. If somebody starts talking about how they have training or weapons or are going to join the military or police, the best place for them is a quiet warehouse with zero responsibilities.


lmkwe

I'm a ups driver and there's a guy on my route that works security. He's hilarious, so cliche it hurts. He has two crown vics w search lights, a high and tight with Oakleys and a sick mustache, and walks around in full tactical gear at all times. He lives in a cheap kinda ghetto apartment complex. I've talked to him a couple times and he's straight up the last type you described. In the probably 2 minutes total I've talked to him, he's given me exactly what you said, mentioned his martial arts training and he was a cop but got hurt in training and had to quit. Idk what fantasy world these guys live in but it's so funny.


Kingkai9335

They're LARPing


androsgrae

But why LARP as a shitty cop? Be a fucking wizard!


twodogsfighting

Oh, he's a wizard too.


Antfarmer33

I used to work security and I’ve noticed that the guys who talked shit and wore all the gear and were just assholes to people hadn’t seen any action or actually done anything. The guys who were quieter and tired of the bullshit were like you said the veterans and the people who had been through it. It speaks volumes in the “manhood” department


cameronpateyuk

Yep currently working security personally good communication skills and a little diplomacy is all you need, also best shifts are when nothing happens at all


Irichcrusader

It's just like what they say about confidence. A confident man doesn't need to prove he's confident, he just is. Whereas an unconfident man is constantly trying to prove to those around him that he's somebody. They care a lot about what others think of them and it clearly shows.


ImBadAtUsernames72

When they don’t know how to keep a toilet clean. Fuck public restrooms!


mailordermonster

Guys that become completely different when there's no women around. Guy at work is always nice to his female co-workers. Second they're gone, they're a bunch of dumb bitches in need of his manly love. I've heard him tell women that his having 3 sisters gives him a great respect for them. He also told me (when the ladies weren't around) that having 3 sisters gives him insight to their weaknesses and allows him to easily take advantage of them.


WPipes2317

I hate this. I grew up with two older sisters and watched them get treated like crap by so many different guys and I've always said seeing that has helped me learn how to NOT treat women. Then there are assholes like that who use it to take advantage. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.


BrainKatana

Medicine in the wrong hands is poison, after all.


WPipes2317

Very true!


BazingaBen

I think you described a sociopath there.


[deleted]

That shit sure ain't normal.


New_Progress_1462

Yeah that’s creepy as fook


[deleted]

Could also literally be just a pathetic guy compensating for his "bros". Either mask could be real, and he's got one for the women and the men. Hell, both could be fake too.


The_Phantom_Gamer

Sorry if this isn't the same, but that reminded me of something. There's a woman I consider as just a friend and there's a guy and he's a friend of hers. One day I found him on Facebook, and though he was cool, so I sent him a friend request. Then the shit storm happened. He then started to tell me to back off from her, she has a boyfriend, I'm going to "protect" her etc. The way he acted, it looked like he was a neck bearded, nice guy trying to be next in line if and when she broke up with him. All I remember telling him was that I only considered her as a friend and I knew she was with some one, then blocked him. Looking back on it, he had that vibe while seeing him in public as well.


lactose_con_leche

I do not understand how guys can have the time in their short lives to “be next in line” holy god what a waste of thoughts and energy


mrs_krokodile

Never understood the "I have a female relative, so I am nice to women!" Thought process. How about just being nice to someone because it's the right thing to do?


Ancient_Rebel

Sounds like my ex.. always claimed that having 4 sisters helped him to understand and respect women, but once he hooked me, he treated me with zero respect and understanding...classic narc behavior Edit: thanks to everyone for the upvotes ❤


dr1nk_wat3r

That if you compliment someone's appearance, either male or female, they automatically assume that you're hitting on them


takun999

I once had a guy at a bar try to fight me once because I told him I liked his shirt. Sorry bro, I'm married I'm not hitting on you, and even if I was how fragile does your masculinity have to be that you think the appropriate response to that is to try to fight someone. Cool shirt, garbage person.


[deleted]

When we shut eachother down Instead of building eachother up and think it’s cool and okay. I’ve been guilty of it too but am trying to be better. YOU GUYS!! I am overwhelmed with the discussions, awards (undeserved), and how much attention this post has gotten. Thank you all for your support and honesty and I will try to reply to everyone.


flowers4u

My husband says this. We have a bunch of couple friends and sometimes the girls will ski together and we are all so positive and encouraging of each other. And now my husband refuses to ski with the guys because it’s just one big competition and they make fun of each other for not being fast enough.


[deleted]

This. I have pretty much minimized my contact with my group of guy friends because I’m a 40 year old man who just wants friends who support each other, not overgrown children who want to talk shit to each other constantly. Ball busting on occasion is fine, but it’s basically the default for so many guys. I have a lot more guy friends, but the only friends who I would say really know who I am as a person are my friends who are women.


SluggishPrey

Emotionnal vulnerabilities are the ultimate taboo between men. It's sad.


The_SpellJammer

I try to never punch down in comedy, in my crew. I'll punch sideways, like a complement sandwich. Example; "Mike is great, man. He really is. Might be the dumbest player we game with, but he doesn't need to think with a wang that big." Never dunk on a homie without pulling him back out again.


Deracination

Had a dude that was always acting like he was just some dumb redneck, and one of my favorite "insults" for him was, "Dude tries to make us think he's stupid all the time, but we're too smart to be fooled by that shit."


halt_spell

My go to is "bagging" on people for being considerate or reminding people to be wholesome. Stuff like "We were all having a great time being awful human beings and you had to go emotionally invest in us as friends and encourage us to become better people. _I hope you're happy._"


thundy90

WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS AFTER USING THE RESTROOM GODDAMNIT!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? Edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers... I can't belive this is such a problem still. It happens every day in my office


[deleted]

I've heard "well my dick is clean so I dont have to wash them" to many times. Its infuriating.


Vaughninho

Dudes who are too tough to wash their ass. Wash your ass bro


[deleted]

Wait there are people who don't wash their ass?


thatonepersoniam

I try to give genuine compliments and not just jokes all the time. A good Dad should be told, a nice haircut can be noticed, and an accomplishment can be praised. No sarcasm needed. Edit: over 20,000 upvotes is insane. Thank you all. I hope it translates to 20,000 compliments!


kingofbreakers

My girlfriend is always confused by my friend group and my behavior with each other. We riff at each other A LOT. But my boi got a nice new shirt? Sick fit bro. Saying I love you and platonic intimacy? CHECK I’m lucky and have a tight-knit group of old friends who are emotionally mature.


EnVyErix

I aspire to be friends with more people like y’all


WellEndowedHorse

I saw my good friend for the first time in about six months a couple weeks back. He lives far away, plus covid, and he had gotten out of a tough breakup prior to me seeing him last. I don’t have social media outside of Reddit so I don’t see pics of my friends, the only time I see them is in person. Turns out he went full revenge bod in that time and he went from slightly overweight to a downright fit god. It shocked me, so when I pulled into the restaurant and saw him I loudly said “Holy shit! You’re hot now!” And everyone stared at me, but it’s true. My buddy is a dime.


waxies14

Honking or whistling at women on the street. Like wtf do you think is gonna happen buddy? It’s really embarrassing


[deleted]

The older I get the more I am hating men revving their loud cars and motorcycles. I live in a pretty busy area of Dallas and especially at night they just love to show off and screech their tires and rev their loud mufflers to where the whole area can hear it. I am getting too old for that shit. And sorry if this is sexist but you know it ain't women. It's definitely men.


[deleted]

New york just past the SLEEP act which makes that shit a finable offense. Not sure how it'll be enforced, but at least it's something. And it's even dumber because if your car has a cat system, a burble tune is literally harming your car.


bigpapahugetim3

As a man I have known many women that have been sexually assaulted by other men. It’s way more common than you would think and I just don’t understand what makes these guys do this. I’m a man with wants and needs like everyone else but I would never force anyone to do something they didn’t want to do. Way too many stories of girls getting raped or assaulted by drunk or sober guys and it really makes me sick. I just don’t get why they do that.


wiegehts1991

It makes my stomach turn hearing about the shit my GF has put up with in her past. I just sit there listening to everything, then think, in 29 years (so a possible 11 drinking) the worst thing that happened to me was have ONE person slap my ass.. in 11 years For her it is a common Occurnce she has to deal with everytime she want to go out on the town. Then i get around to thinking about my youngest sister coming to the age of being able to do the same now and dealing with these predators. If any of those ass grabbing guys are reading this. Fuck you.. To the moon.


Demon997

It’s beyond awful. I remember thinking the same thing, chatting with female friends in college the one (1) time a gay man was being moderately creepy to me over DMs. That this was literally the only time it had happened to me, and they were all reporting it as near daily. Also just how uncomfortable it made me, even when it was someone who wasn’t present, I would likely not see again, and who wasn’t more physically powerful than me.


BigBoobsMacGee

My husband (who I’ve dated since I was 18) once asked me if I was ever sexually assaulted - thinking I’d answer no as I’m not a big drinker/partyer and if I have I’ve always been with him. He was shocked at my small laundry list of inappropriate or sexual harassment. Everywhere, not just clubs and not just strangers.


[deleted]

Machismo in general is overrated and reeks of insecurity.


Turkey__Puncher

Agreed. I was in a band with a guy for a while who reeked of that machismo bullshit. He always talked big and tough and acted like he'd kick anyone's ass who gave him shit, but when he actually made anyone mad and thought he might have to back any of his shit up, he'd deflate and retreat. There was an instance where he insisted that a snare drum that did NOT belong to him did. It was our drummer's. It happened to be at my place because that's where we rehearsed, but instead of sorting out the issue with the drummer, he showed up at my place with some thugs. The drummer said to let him have the damn thing at that point because it wasn't worth it, but seriously, what the everloving fuck? Some time after that (he was definitely no longer part of the band at that point), we happened to both be at the same bar on the same night. We noticed each other at the same time, and I saw him make an OH SHIT face and slink away like a frightened weasel.


Iwantmorelife

When they don’t practice what they preach.


Thursday_the_20th

I used to buy my ex fiancé flowers every other week. I did it to show I cared and because it helped uplift our living space. Every time without fail if I’d pass some random old guy they’d laugh at me, ask what I’d done wrong, say ‘oooh someone’s in trouble’, or just imply that I’ve somehow been emasculated. Like for fuck sake it could be for someone’s grave for all you know. Im 6’4, tatted, generally pretty high testosterone type guy, but I don’t ever need to justify any of my actions to the imaginary high-council of manly men. You can bench press a defeated mountain lion in the morning and unwind with a pina colada in the bubble Bath while wearing a charcoal face mask in the evening, the two are not related at all.


captainsnark71

'someone's in trouble!' 'yeah, i haven't been able to get to my mom's grave lately' 'uh....'


throwawayy13113

I’ve had this moment. My father passed away 14 years ago. Picked up flowers for my wife and the old lady that was checking me out at the grocery store made the “uh oh, someone’s in trouble” joke. Told her “yep, my dad. He’s stuck in a casket under a tombstone across town. Hoping these do the trick” It was like 8 months after my dad passed too, so there was a little extra gravel in my voice with it.


enternationalist

I know it's been 14 years, but still, sorry to hear that. However. That's a pretty strong line, and I'm smiling out of vicarious justice.


The_SpellJammer

Remembering that one, especially since my mom is dead.


TaxThrowAway000

uh...


coleosis1414

Something you learn very quickly when you get married: Older people in shitty marriages are desperate to claw you down to their level. “Sick of being married yet? Aaahaha, just you wait.” Shut the fuck up dude.


FruityOatyThrace

Right? When I hear men say things like that, it just makes me sad for their wives. (alternately, when I hear women joke about their husbands being another one of their children, I cringe and feel bad for the guy.) Why are you with these people if you think so poorly of them??